Episode #03.04: Charlie Don't Surf
Original Air Date: October 24, 2006
Written by: Diane Ruggiero, Jason Elen
Directed by: Jason Bloom
Report Card (Capsule Episode Review)
Yearbook (Recurring & Guest Stars/Character Statistics)
Drama Club (Performances: Highlights and Lowlights)
Chemistry (The Analysis of LoVe Scenes)
Journalism (The Mystery of the Week)
Study Hall (Miscellaneous Plot Details)
Extra Credit (Clues to the Season Mystery Arcs)
History (Flashbacks) (None)
Band Class (The Music of Veronica Mars)
Literature (LoVe Lines/In Memory/Quotable Quotes)
Social Science (In Reference To ... Pop Culture & The World)
Homeroom (On Second Viewing, Get a Clue)
Pep Squad Practice (Ambiguously (Or Not) Gay Logan Moments) (None)
Detention (While the Censors Were Out to Lunch ...) (None)
Philosophy (Unanswered Questions)
Extra Curricular Activities (Beyond the Broadcast)
Principles of Democracy (Hindsight is 20/20)
Role Call (Written/Compiled By ...)

Staff Grade: B
Membership Grade: A (54.8% - 118 votes)
This episode bears a striking similarity to the second episode of this season in that much is happening (we have three separate storylines) and yet there is no flow or connection between any of the plots. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, past episodes that have featured similar multiple, non-connecting plots were excellent. Where this one differs is that the editing and directing feel very much off and the many threads feel like too much. With that said, while there is a lot happening here like in episode two, here, the viewer is still connecting. There is an emotional resonance in each of the stories (some working better than others -- please tone down the bitchiness of Parker, the character hasn't endeared herself to most yet and so showing this side is only making people lose sympathy for her) and that is what keeps us coming back. And on a Logan/Veronica note, it is so lovely to see follow-through from last week.

Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Chris Lowell - Stosh "Piz" Piznarski
Tina Majorino - Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie
Michael Muhney - Sheriff Don Lamb
Francis Capra - Eli "Weevil" Navarro
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Chastity Dotson - Nish
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
- Wichita Linebacker
Krista Kalmus - Claire Nordhouse
- Wichita Linebacker
Tanya Michelle - Nancy Cooper
- Welcome Wagon
David Tom - Chip Diller
- Season Two Appearances
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
Guest Stars
LeAnna Campbell - Carly Hearn
Mark Chiarrocchi - Marvin Chase
Matt Czuchry - Norman Phipps
Ryan Eggold - Charlie Stone
Amy Rider - Charlotte
Laura San Giacomo - Harmony Chase
Parry Shen - Hsiang "Charleston" Chu
Lee Weaver - Walter
Cliff Weissman - Avi Kaufman
Who's Who in Neptune
Carly Hearn - Works at Riley International, a company that Marvin Chase does a lot of business with. Initially suspected of having an affair with Marvin.
Marvin Chase - Harmony Chase's husband, whom she suspects of having an affair.
Norman Phipps - Contributor to Vanity Fair. Pretended to be Charlie Stone in order to get an exclusive story on Logan and the Echolls.
Charlie Stone - Logan's half-brother who has been receiving $10,000 dollars a month from Aaron's estate. Teaches at Calvert Academy, a private school in San Juan Capistrano.
Charlotte - Charleston's girlfriend. Has apparently been cheating on him with Chip.
Harmony Chase - Woman who comes to Keith when she suspects her husband has been cheating on her. Previously met Keith at Judge Crawford's Christmas parties, at which he apparently helped her with her tire one year. Also has a daughter.
Hsiang "Charleston" Chu - Pi Sig fraternity brother. Served the drinks at the haunted house; has a girlfriend, Charlotte.
Walter - Convenience store clerk who gave Veronica the information about Claire the night of her rape.
Avi Kaufman - Logan's (and previously Aaron's) business manager. Ran Aaron's Kidz, the front organization for the money going to Charlie Stone.
Hey! It's That Guy/Girl
Matt Czuchry (Norman Phipps) - Matt Czuchry plays Logan Huntzberger, Rory's boyfriend, on Gilmore Girls. Before landing his role as Logan, he also appeared in five episodes of Young Americans and twelve episodes of Hack. There have been a number of comparisons in the media and among fans between the two Logans (especially once the WB/UPN merger was announced and speculation of a Gilmore Girls/Veronica Mars night began). Like Logan Echolls, Logan Huntzberger is also the boyfriend of the lead character, is rich, and has daddy issues. Although they have their similarities and it is certainly possible to like both characters, there is no question which Logan is better (and sorry, Matt, it's not yours).
Laura San Giacomo (Harmony Chase) - Laura San Giacomo first came to attention with her role in the 1989 film sex, lies, and videotape, for which she received a Golden Globe nomination. She also appeared in the films Pretty Woman and Quigley Down Under as well the made-for-TV miniseries of Steven King's The Stand. San Giacomo is best known for her role as Maya Gallo on the TV series Just Shoot Me! which aired from 1997 to 2003. Her character, Maya, was a journalist at Blush, a magazine owned by her father. Maya also had an on-again, off-again relationship with photographer Elliot DiMauro (played by our very own Enrico Colantoni). She received a Golden Globe nomination for her work during Season two of the show.

Highlights
Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls) - In the song "Gaston" from Beauty and the Beast, the townspeople sing
Honorable mentions: Kristen Bell continued to bring a vibrant honesty and commitment to her portrayal of Veronica this week. Ryan Hansen delivered another standout performance that was a wonderful dose of pure Dick. Finally, guest star Laura San Giacomo quiet, understated performance subtly revealed all the hopeful longing and unhappiness she was feeling.

Scene One: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
This may be the healthiest we've seen Logan ... like ever. Veronica's all worried and slightly freaking and Logan's joking and smirking in good-natured fashion, but when she continues to freak he became all mature and just awesome. His "Veronica, I'm not going to say anything bad," was just so, so awesome. Logan being reassuring? Logan being the calm, rational one? Logan? Wow! That night on the roof was not a one-shot deal (although, obviously those were much worse circumstances). Logan really has grown up a bit, his death-wish is gone and he's settling into being a pretty decent guy. Go Logan!
But, let's back up a bit to the "milky thighs" comment and just hee! All of Veronica's ranting about her nakedness which Logan has seen and touched, etc. was good for humor. But, ah, when Logan said the phrase "milky thighs," there was definitely a rise in the temperature. Suddenly, there was a whole new level of LOGANANDVERONICAAREHAVINGSEXOHMY!!!! to the mood. Sometimes it just all depends on who's saying the what. Hee.
Finally there was the moment when Veronica held out her hand for Logan to take. *Sigh* What a lovely little throwback (intentional or not) to A Trip to the Dentist when discovered by a room full of 09ers, Logan held out his hand for Veronica to take showing that he was cool with everyone knowing that she was his girlfriend. Here, Veronica held out her hand to Logan to take before sitting down for dinner with dad, essentially showing that she was cool with Logan being allowed into the Mars inner family circle. And let us take note, this is the first time we've ever seen Veronica and Keith have dinner with ANYONE! And Keith suggested it which makes one think that he knows how serious Veronica is about Logan. Squee!
Scene Two: Familial Love
I enjoyed this scene for both the surface and what's beneath. Of course, the surface level was just funny. The questions casually asked that Logan tried to answer and Veronica's nonstop interrupt-fest at just about every seemingly innocuous query was amusing. I would have liked to see the scene go along a little longer, but what we did get ... it was so much fun seeing the three of them together, interacting. And ah, it was nice seeing Keith attempting to be nice -- even if it wasn't genuine, which may not have been. Perhaps, Veronica had the right of it. I do wonder if it was more Veronica not giving him the chance to put Logan in his place, so to speak. I'm thinking this because of what happened when Keith met Troy (in The Wrath of Con). Like in this scene, Keith started out calm and interested in what the boy his daughter was seeing was all about. It was only after he had given Troy enough rope to hang himself that Keith went in for the kill and put him in his place. It was quite clear that Veronica -- judging from the many requests she gave her father to be nice -- was well aware of this little technique of Keith's. Therefore, all of her interruptions likely had nothing to do with lack of trust in Logan or fear that he would put his foot in it. She knows her father and knows that a seemingly benign question could very well be just two moves away from skewering the poor youth.
So, hee! I do think Veronica should have more faith in Logan because I like to believe that he's crafty enough that he could neatly sidestep any of Keith's verbal traps and Veronica should realize this. However, I'll definitely give her a pass because I think it wasn't so much not having faith in Logan as seeing her mighty father as impervious to even Logan's fast footwork.
There was also some lovely character movement here from Logan in how he was watching the interplay between Keith and Veronica. Logan fans have long been frustrated with Veronica's lack of reciprocal feelings for Logan (banished after the last episode -- SQUEE!) because Logan not only didn't get it from Veronica; he'd gotten it from no one else. Certainly not from his family. And to see Logan, an outsider even while sitting at their table, watching this clear family unit so filled with love and genuine affection was heartbreaking. He looked at the two with a sorta dazed, adoring wonderment. (Okay, I'm sure the "adoring" was mostly for Veronica). It was as if he was witnessing something so startling wonderful to behold; he couldn't keep the smile off his face or the sparkle from his eyes. And, of course, there is lovely resonance with this at the end of the episode. But we're not there yet.
Before we move on I want to comment on one more aspect of this scene that is very LoVe-friendly. I mentioned above that I don't think Veronica's interruptions had anything to do with lack of faith in Logan; in fact I felt that she was trying to protect Logan. In addition, she was also happily trying to build him up for Keith as well. ("Hearst accepted him late because his scores were so high," she said proudly.) It's so very nice to see emotional continuity carried over from last week.
Scene Three: Go Get 'Em, Bobcat
Honestly the nicest thing about this scene was the comparison to the only other time we've seen Logan and Veronica in an elevator together -- this elevator, in fact, with the horrific gold, spangly decor. That would, of course, be the infamous sole LoVe scene in Donut Run, Rob Thomas' directorial debut in which we saw Logan and Veronica nastier to one another since, oh, The Pilot. Yeah, that bad.
What a difference nine months made. Just check out the pictorial evidence below:
But enough of that not-so-lovely memory, back to the present and in the present, Logan and Veronica have continued their streak of utter adorability. Veronica jokingly asked Logan if he's showing her porn (as she's leaning over to touch him), and then in true Veronica Mars fashion wondering if it has something to do with a soft, cute animal (ponies, puppies, kittens, oh my!). Alas for this cat lover -- what I wouldn't give to see Logan cuddling a kitty -- felines were not in store for the young Miss Mars. Instead it was all about the dollars, Logan explained, opening the door to his suite himself, instead of letting Veronica use her key (squee!).
Okay I lied ... at the start of this when I said that the compare/contrast is the nicest thing, nah. It's the second nicest thing. The bestest thing is the fact that we are not seeing the show play fast and loose with their relationship --Veronica is as wonderfully open as she could be and caring for Logan in episode three and then back to being emotionally withdrawn here. No, we are still getting a Veronica who loves Logan and is totally playing the supportive girlfriend. She offered the help of Keith's accountant and then simply the help of herself. Ahhh, Veronica giving of herself (and her dad's associates) to Logan. Lovely.
As for Logan, well, he just is in a much sprightlier mood than the first couple of episodes, which we can certainly choose to believe is thanks to his "bobcat" opening up to him at last. ** Sigh **
Scene Four: My Eyes Adored You
Hee! The title pretty much sums up the entire first half of this scene because that's about all that Logan did let his eyes adore Veronica. While Veronica was all "wtf?!" about Keith and Harmony, Logan was all about Veronica and adoring her with his eyes. Seriously. Beyond taking in the older pair when he and Veronica first walked in, his eyes were practically glued to Veronica and they were all shiny and happy and filled with schmoopy, gooey love. Hee! And what's really nice about this scene is that in her own way, Veronica showed that she's filled with as much schmoopy, gooey love. After Harmony left, and Keith told Logan about the deal with the money, Veronica was completely there! The questions that had been careening through her mind at full speed moments before about who the woman was that her daddy was being so chummy with came to a standstill once Keith brought up Logan's problem. Then she was immediately thinking of Logan, of his problems and of how he could be helped. Totally feeling for him. Man, in the world of Veronica Mars, when her brain stops mid-gear whirring over Keith of all things and parks firmly on your mystery, that's love. That is love.
Scene Five: Veronica, The Bestest Girlfriend Ever!
Okay, I cannot be the only person who flashbacked to the Hot Dogs when Veronica was checking up on Trina's "sleaze of the week" boyfriend. Ah memories. They're in a better place now, but hey, that sleuthing led to a really, really hot kiss. Oh well, can't have everything. And what we have here is Veronica really helping Logan. She's been such a concerned, supportive girlfriend it's actually a little mind-boggling.
Scene Six: Veronica's Beau
Short and sweet, Logan tells Veronica to screw her brains out. Hee! The thing that most may remember from this scene is that after Veronica called Logan her beau (little hee!), she leaned over and kissed his cheek and as she walked away, you can see Logan wiping his cheek. I would like to point out that about five seconds before, she had just taken a big swig from her water bottle, no doubt her lips were pretty wet, thus the cheek-wipe. Logan doesn't think that Veronica has cooties!
Scene Seven: A Working Relationship
Again, as in most of this episode, there's not much to analyze. It simply comes down to one thing: For the first time since this show began we are seeing Logan and Veronica in a healthy relationship. She's open and loving as he has always been with her when things are romantic. She's supportive and concerned for him, ditto he for her. They're both there for one another, laughing together, eating together, and just simply being together. And we see that here in this scene in full force. Veronica did all that she did (and clearly spent a lot of time on it) just for Logan, no other reason. The answer to this would provide no gain to her, it was all for him. She found out where his money was going bye-bye just to help him out and without making any snide quips about his wealth, no less.
I don't think that it can't be said enough how wonderful this is for those fans of Logan and Veronica who genuinely like seeing them together as a couple and aren't just into them because of the love-hate, push-pull, dramatics, bloodshed feel, angst-o-rama of what their relationship has been shown to be up until now. I'm talking about fans who like them for one or some or all of the following reasons: The dynamics of their characters, good and bad, work well together. Jason Dohring and Kristen Bell have chemistry whether they're playing out a healthy relationship or a fucked-up one. Or simply because they're pretty together. If any or all of the above apply, such viewers (and I count myself as one where all three apply) have got to love what we are seeing. They work. Logan and Veronica, in a relationship, can and DO work.
Oh, and hee! She used her bonus birthday gift.
Scene Eight: What a Suspicious Mind You Have, Veronica Mars
Not much here. Most of the action was on Logan and Fake Charlie's interaction, but it was definitely interesting how assessing Veronica's gaze was. We've ever only seen Veronica like that when (a) she's solving a case -- and as far as she's concerned at this point, this case done be solved or (b) when someone she cares about is possibly be taken for a ride. And as the last episode (and this one) have shown us, Veronica definitely cares about Logan. It's still nice see obvious proof smack us in the face. She sensed that something was not quite right with the too-perfect Charlie Stone, but like the good girlfriend she is proving herself to be, she didn't throw it in Logan's face. (Ssh! She needs to get proof first.)
And let us not fail to note that Logan introduced Veronica as his girlfriend. Which, of course, we all noted he didn't do last week when thoseskanks lovely young women invited him to a party. I stand by my fanwanking that he just didn't want spend too much time talking to them, here he thinks that Fake Charlie isn't fake and therefore he introduces her with due respect and obviousness because of her importance in his life. Uh huh.
Scene Nine: Charlie Do Surf ... But He's No Charlie
Why exactly did Veronica choose to out Fake Charlie in public? Other than that, I understand why Veronica did what she did and even though he didn't say anything, I'm fairly confident that Logan did too. What worked here is that again we saw a Veronica who cares about her boyfriend and it was in the little things. Veronica loves her big reveals (which could explain the why of the locale she chose), but her smug demeanor was kept to a minimum.
There is one detail in particular I'd like to mention. Some have wondered in the past if Veronica is bothered by Logan's use of force at times, but I think this again proves that while she's not hip-hip-hooray about it, she understands he's a young man and males do like to use their fists. Yes, she reacted with a jump when he punched Fake Charlie, but she didn't tell him to stop or try and keep him from doing so at any point and she certainly had the opportunity. In addition, once Fake Charlie was down, it was seemingly forgotten by Veronica as her concern was fully for Logan and apologizing for taking away Logan's "family."
And that is why she was apologizing. Yes, the guy was lying, but Logan was enjoying having him in his life; he was loving having a family member he could talk to and get along with. Although it would have come out anyway (the Vanity Fair story), had Veronica not been the one to reveal it, Logan would have had that "family" for a bit longer and Veronica wouldn't have been the one to take it away from him. And for that, she was sorry.
Scene Ten: The Girl's A'Learning
Okay, seriously, my favorite moment in this episode was right here. When Logan just ran up, ran around her, wrapping his arm around her waist, I loved it. It was a gleeful overreaction to cover his pain, but it was glee directed towards Veronica in a totally adorable way and it just made me smile. I rewound that moment about five times when I first saw it. As for the rest of the scene? See? Logan understood why she did what she did and had no problem with her doing it.
I felt rather sad for Logan that he immediately assumed the worst of Real Charlie, but I can't blame him. I just can't. Not after all of the disappointment he's had in his life and I don't think that Veronica could either. I'm stopping this train of thought now because this is the LoVe analysis, not the Logan analysis and I do have one more LoVe thing to point out. (Okay, two. The hair kissing and stroking was sweet Suh-weet. I want Logan for a boyfriend. I'm willing to risk the piano wire.) Ahem.
I loved how even though Veronica did think that Logan was assuming and possibly wrong about Charlie, she clearly took stock in his frame of mind and didn't push. Proof. She's learning that before she brings him bad news, she needs proof. Now, let's just hope that all of that learning will apply when next she thinks he's being a bad boy, mayhap she'll try and find proof before going all accusatory. Right now, she's hitting all the right cylinders and I couldn't be more proud of her. You go, Veronica!
Scene Eleven: V and Sympathy
Short, but sweet and if it doesn't quite pack the emotional punch it could have I blame it on a few shallow quirks -- but they do matter -- and sorry, Kristen Bell, and the director. First the shallow, Veronica's hair and make-up were just so blah and just wrong that it was almost striking. Maybe it was just me, but it threw me off when we saw pretty, pretty Logan (because Jason did look EXTREMELY pretty in this scene) and then Veronica looking about as blah as I've ever seen her. That's the shallow. As for Bell, it wasn't the entire scene by a long shot, just the first couple of lines. I don't know why she chose to deliver them the way she did and it's very, very possible that it was the director's call (she was ON for the rest of the episode beautifully), but those first couple of lines sounded like she was talking to a small child and trying to explain something that was possibly too difficult for him to understand. It was very odd. But again, I could just blame the director who did an overall blah job in directing, I felt. Ah, I've been very happy with Kristen Bell the last few episodes, I'll blame the director.
No even with my issues, I still enjoyed this scene because as I mentioned above, I really felt that Logan was just so touched by Keith and Veronica's interaction at dinner. He was so dazzled at the affection he witnessed between them because it was so alien to anything he'd ever experienced. So it was a lovely, lovely callback to that reaction from Logan to have him tell Veronica pretty much that (and with teary eyes, no less). What was also quite lovely was Veronica again being such a wonderful girlfriend, so very, very there for Logan. I loved her leaning into him, putting her chin on his shoulder, her arm caressing him in sympathy. It was so sweet and so loving.
I must say that I'm truly very happy that when we were given such a show as we were last week that proved that Veronica DOES love Logan, it didn't switch gears on us. This episode could NOT have aired at any point before Wichita Linebacker because the difference in Veronica in relation to her treatment/attitude towards Logan is so startling. And so wonderful in contrast. And we were, yet again, given another scene encapsulating that beautifully.
Brava.

The Case of the Missing Money
Logan is meeting with his super accountant to the stars, Mr. Avi Kaufman: sleazy enough to ... well, work for Aaron Echolls, I guess. He probably has coffee dates with Mr. Levois - his lawyering counterpart from Happy Go Lucky. The accountant informs Logan in his supercilious voice that Logan's trust fund is hemorrhaging money at an alarming rate (the implication being that Logan is immaturely spend-happy now that he's got control of the purse strings). The trust fund is meant to last until his twenty-first birthday but it's only going to last another fourteen months at the rate he's guzzling cash. Logan looked at the statement and instead of coming to the conclusion that he should spend less and work from this thing called a budget (what's that??), has decided that he should be getting more money. There's money missing that Logan hasn't spent himself.
Kaufman is clearly hiding something because when the missing money comes up he whips off his Smug Bastard Mask to reveal a rare glimpse of his Serious Face: "It's complicated." Seconds later the Smug Bastard Mask returns when Logan decides to get his lawyer involved (is he talking about Cliff McCormack here? No wonder he doesn't name him, because that name certainly isn't intimidating in legal circles). Kaufman tells Logan he can do better, he'll send all of Logan's financial records over.
The Neptune Grand elevators ding open and for once it's not a toll of doom for our beloved ship. Veronica has clearly been wondering why Logan is bringing her to his penthouse because the words "I want to show you something in my room" are only one step away from "tawdry" in Veronica's mind: "You're not showing me porn?" is the opening guess. Logan almost blushes when he denies it, and as Veronica continues to come up with sillier things Logan could be showing her - like kittens! - he explains that they're doing something no more interesting than discussing his financial situation.
Logan thinks Kauffman is skimming off the top of his inheritance. Veronica tells him that her dad has a great accountant (Pfffttt ... excuse me while I chuckle, I don't think the accountants Keith Mars can afford would be anywhere near as good as those Logan could get himself). Logan shrugs the suggestion off: He's decided that HE can be his girl's mystery of the week, screw going to people with expertise in this area! "I think I need more of a private detective to help me nail this guy to the wall." Good plan, it's not like they get quality time any other way on this show. Veronica's all for it too until he opens the door and she sees ten boxes full of financial records. "Go get em', bobcat."
Apparently, Veronica wasn't up for rifling through the boxes either and she passed them on to Keith's accountant anyway. Keith tells her his accountant is almost finished with the files when he greets her sitting down to breakfast. As gently as possible, Keith approaches the option that Logan's money problems could just be his "champagne wishes and caviar dreams." And let's admit it, given Veronica's suspicious nature, I'm surprised as hell she didn't come to that conclusion by herself. I'm hoping she's just being the quippy quipmeister of quipsville when she says he has a solid gold foosball table because I'd have to hurt him otherwise.
Logan and Veronica stop by Mars Investigations when Keith's accountant gets back to him with the results. The Echolls estate (hey, I thought we were talking about a trust fund here ... ) apparently contributes $10,000 to some charity called Aaron's Kidz every month. Putting aside the fact that contribution should not have anything to do with Logan's trust fund (unless this was Aaron's way of giving his son a last pear down the throat from the grave), it seems Avi Kaufman isn't doing anything nefarious with Logan's cash. Darn it. Looks like you really will need to learn the concept of a budget, Logan.
The accountant took the charity on face value and apparently Keith is so, er ... distracted that he didn't look into it either. He hopes everything has been cleared up for Logan (but really, he probably was laboring under the assumption that Logan was a spend-thrift kid and nothing weird was happening). Veronica doesn't let the case go so easily. In the worst time transition ever, Logan suddenly is back outside Mars Investigations walking in with the Thai he just purchased for their dinner, while Veronica prepares to let him in on the latest intrigue in his case.
'Aaron's Kids' was apparently a non-profit organization that shut down years ago (when Aaron realized he didn't give a crap about his own kid let alone anyone else's ... but that's spec). 'Aaron's Kidz' - note the Z - is still in business, chaired by Avi Kaufmann. Despite Veronica's ominous tone and Logan's shattered look, by the next scene we're meant to assume they have no idea if Dr. Avi really is going to build a huge laser and hold the world to ransom for one meellion dollars ... or whatever else he's doing under the cover of a 'charity.' We do see glimpses of long-lost OPJ Logan however (oh, how we miss you) when he fantasies about dangling Kaufman out of a window to get him to talk. It worked for Clarence, why can't Veronica let him get his rage on? Right, reason.
Veronica decides to use her magic marker and the even more magic white board to get Logan his answer. (Really, dangling Kaufman out of a window would have been much more fun to watch and much more believable too ... though slightly more illegal.) Starting with Avi Kaufman and his position as Chairman of Micardo Enterprises, Veronica 'follows the money' using nothing but her telephone and a magic marker. Can we say, huh? Wow, her phone voice must be so good it would put all those 1300 numbers out of business if she only put it to use.
By the time Keith gets home - late that night - Veronica's light is still on and she's apparently finished all her calls and has taken to staring at the wonder of her white board. And by God is it a wonder of the modern world! She's cracked Logan's case. All the money goes through several different chains and companies until ending up in the hands of one person: Charlie Stone. Forget about James Boag, the question of the night is 'Who is Charlie Stone?'
Cut to Logan's penthouse where he's apparently going to breakout into a moonlit sonata on his balcony at any moment. Luckily for us, Veronica uses her room key (SQUEE!) to get inside and snap him out of it just in time. While Logan stares at Veronica adoringly (like he wants her to get whatever information she has off her chest so he can start to get ... other things ... off her chest), she tentatively tells him that the money is going to Charlie Stone: His brother. All thoughts of adoring Veronica's assets slip from his face to be replaced by Woobie Logan Shot #578,036. Although, I have to say when the name of a fake charity is Aaron's Kidz, I don't think he tried to hide it very well and I think Logan is a little slow for not jumping to that conclusion by now ... given his father's predilections and all.
Charlie Stone is a private school teacher in San Juan Capistrano but Veronica has looked him up in the phone book and gives Logan the number. Glutton for Punishment, thy name is Logan. He asks what he's supposed to do but we all know what he's going to do, suffering from the kicked puppy syndrome that he is. Case in point: Dating Veronica after she'd just accused him of killing his ex. Yeah, he's good at making himself vulnerable when he knows he's probably just going to get pounded in the end.
In another one of the worst transitions ever, Veronica is gone and Logan is about to dial Charlie's phone number. It looks like he's been up all night but he's wearing a different - though equally green - shirt. Hmmm. Perhaps he just likes to change shirts constantly when he's feeling blue or perhaps this is another day. *shrugs*
And that seems to be that.
Logan is sitting out on the balcony (honestly, why? Why does he suddenly have a fascination with the view Cassidy jumped off?) getting to know his half-brother, Charlie Stone. Charlie is telling Logan about how his mother told him Aaron was his father while going to see the elder Echolls in the movie, Thought Police. He was ten years old and his father was the action hero mind wrestling with Sly Stallone; the thought probably didn't suck to ten-year old Charlie like Logan's reality did. Strangely, Charlie calls his mother 'a looker' signifying that's probably why Aaron deigned to touch a flight attendant. Charlie says he didn't believe Aaron was his dad until he saw the hush money checks (and I'm guessing this is a while after he was ten years old). At first, he was jealous of Logan's life until the tabloid stories started becoming a regular occurrence, specifically Aaron cheating on Lynn (which, we know, eventually resulted in her suicide). Logan watches him intensely as he talks, especially when Charlie brings up a targeted question: "I started wondering if something was wrong with me, you know? If this is my bloodline." Clearly, Logan shares the exact same thoughts but he doesn't say anything too revealing in response.
Charlie tells him he has to leave and grade papers. Logan nervously gets up, telling Charlie they should do it again ... longer next time. Charlie agrees because he wants to hear about his father - whether it's good or bad. Mostly bad, Logan concedes, but he seems willing to give Charlie that much (even if it means making himself vulnerable again). Clearly he's already smitten with his big bro so Veronica should be oh, so proud of herself for instigating this wonderful reunion.
Speaking of Veronica, she opens the balcony door after using her key again (squee!) to find Logan has company. Logan excitedly introduces Veronica to his half-brother which must be an odd experience to her considering how he talks about his step-sister, Trina. They shake hands. Logan seems really proud that his brother has such an honest job and then he discovers Charlie surfs too. Light breaks over Charlie's stunning blond locks and tiny little harps start strumming out an exultant hymn oh sorry, was that just in Logan's head? Surfing. They really ARE brothers.
Now, Veronica could be as excited about Logan's new brother as Logan is but she, like most people, has sensed a certain pattern in Logan's life. It goes something like this: Apathy to Mellowness to Hope to HAPPINESS to Crushing Despair to Apathy. Repeat ad nauseum, ad infinitum. So, she could be happy for him but she's going to be her super spy self instead and check on Charlie Stone's motives at his school, caring girlfriend that she is.
She knocks on Mr. Stone's room and he opens the door. Wait a second! Chiseled jaw, dark eyes, dark hair this guy looks a lot like Aaron Echolls. And absolutely nothing like Charlie Stone. "Hi. Um. Sorry to bother you, are you by any chance the sub for Mr. Stone?" That's right, Veronica, give the boy Logan's surfing with one last chance. But ... no dice. He is Mr. Stone. He's the real deal.
Crap.
Now that we know the real Charlie Stone has not stood up with Logan at the beach, the long-awaited surfing scene has us screaming: "NOOO!! STOP!!! You're pouring your heart out now???" throughout the entire thing. That's right, Logan is with - what we can now assume is an impostor - telling him all of the stuff 'Charlie' wanted to know - good or bad - about being raised by Aaron Echolls. And you all know what that means. He's already been through the scissors incident and the drained pool episode (and I can imagine what that one entailed) but we get to experience Logan talking about the time he almost experienced death-by-pear: Aaron Echolls shoving twelve pears down his throat, only stopping when Logan's dearly departed mother saved him with a cheese knife. Never a dull moment at the Echolls house. Logan breaks the tense moment after his revelation by shoving Fake-Charlie off his board and following him under the water. No. That wasn't trite or gay at all.
Logan and Fake-Charlie walk up the beach together with their boards when Logan sees Veronica sitting on a rock with her laptop. He's happy to see her until she says, "Hi, Logan! Hi, Norman Phipps!" At least that's the name on his rental car. Now, Veronica is out of practice being a concerned girlfriend so this scene is a bit of a hybrid between concerned-about-boyfriend and sarcastic-self-righteous-smug, Veronica. She tells Logan (kind of) that the person he's been bonding over child abuse stories with is in fact not his brother, Charlie Stone. "Charlie" or, rather, Norman is a freelance reporter sometimes connected to Vanity Fair. She need not have gone any further, mention the word 'media' and Logan is pretty much guaranteed to be pissed off. But she had to ask how the story was going and Norman had to be a smug, insensitive jackass about the juicy pear story he uncovered about his target's past. Logan goes to hit Charlie and the Greek Chorus of fan girls is all screaming, "KILL! KILL!" but Logan hesitates when Charlie says, "Oh, please take a swing, it'd make a great lead."
Logan pauses: Should he or shouldn't he? He smiles and punches "Charlie" across the face.
Well, he did ask for it.
Later, the real Charlie Stone drives into the Calvert Academy to find something unusual waiting for him in his parking spot: Dozens of paparazzi. He rushes past them, saying nothing. I've no idea why the vultures aren't circling Logan other than the fact they're excited about the fresh Echolls meat. Meat that was provided to them by Aaron's legitimate heir when Logan took the Larry King interview briefly mentioned during his oh-so-adorable dinner date with the Mars family. During the King interview, Logan gave Charlie a 'coming out' party, but doesn't empathize with the hell Charlie is about to go through because Charlie had obviously served him up on a platter for the Vanity Fair reporter. It was revenge: Two birds with one stone called Larry King. Veronica isn't so certain but doesn't argue too hard in Charlie's favor because Logan is clearly upset.
Logan has no more romantic notions about his family, except he would still like to keep the heirlooms of the one member he assumes was normal (in contradiction to Aaron's assessment of daddy dearest in Hot Dogs); Logan gave his grandfather's gold pocket watch to Norman. He asks Veronica to track down Norman Phipps to get it back. She agrees.
Veronica goes to Norman's hotel room. When he opens the door one would forgive the audience for thinking Norman is yet another Scooby mask Veronica must rip off to find Logan Huntzberger - newspaper tycoon - underneath. Did Matt Czuchry just walk off the Gilmore Girls set for this scene? Veronica squeezes past him into his room, and he immediately begins the "it was a job, nothing personal" spiel wait, where have I heard that one before? He tells Veronica that the magazine dropped the story when Larry King scooped them. That's beside the point, she's not there to convince him to back off the story (though it's funny picturing her in that thug capacity); Veronica only came for the watch. While Norman digs through his suitcase for the watch he tells Veronica that Logan got one thing wrong in his interview: Charlie never sold him out. Norman, like Keith, had been doing some illegal spy work and he'd tapped Charlie's phone when Logan called him.
Whoops.
Veronica tells Logan that Charlie was innocent and it's clear that - whatever he might have said when he last saw her - Logan hasn't quite killed the romantic notions inside his head about what his family could be. He tells her he's never had what Veronica has with Keith and the longing in his tone gives away the fact that he wants it. And here's Charlie, an innocent normal guy who had all the potential to be the family Logan's never had. Yeah, whoops indeed; Logan knows exactly how much anonymity is a virtue and exactly how hard the paparazzi can kick you when you're down. He knows his excuse will probably mean nothing to the newly exposed Charlie but ... Glutton for Punishment, thy name is Logan.
He calls him one more time ....
Keith Mars: Love Detective
Keith Mars is sitting at his desk reading a newspaper when there's a knock on his door. He looks up and surprise flashes across his features. In the doorway stands a pretty brunette about his own age that makes him think of the days he wore a beret and his 'money shots' were about getting luck with the ladies rather than catching their cheating spouses. "Hi, um, I don't have an appointment, do you remember me?" Maya -- I mean, Harmony says. They met at Judge Crawford's Christmas parties (when Keith had an 'in' with those upstanding lawmen), he changed her tire and she's been thanking him profusely ever since. Awwww. Too bad they were both married.
Her married status comes as a surprise to Keith because he's never seen her workaholic husband. Harmony has come to him now because she thinks he's cheating on her. They don't love each other anymore, he's a 'glorified roommate' and a 'fantastic father' but she's not going to leave him unless he's been a no-good cheating louse as well. In a description that is very reminiscent of Keith's own feelings about Lianne and Veronica, Harmony explains: "I had settled into that being my life. Happy daughter, faade of happy marriage ... " Keith cuts off the all-to familiar description, "And then you got a couple of 'don't wait up' calls?" In Keith's case, Lianne was a no-good cheater and this case seems pretty open and shut. Keith also seems to really like Harmony. This week on When Fandoms Collide: Keith Mars finds out he can use photography skills to catch a cheating spouse and get the lady.
Keith is so "bored" staking out Harmony's husband that he gives her a call halfway through. Harmony immediately expects he's calling her to describe the no-good, twenty-two year old, pierced-navel blonde screwing her hubby. No such luck ... or so it would seem by how eager Harmony is for her husband to be cheating. Keith is so bored because there is no predictable 'GOTCHA!' twist to this story so far. Her husband really is working late. Instead of hanging up on that anti-climax, Harmony - playing with Keith's sexy work card - starts in on the flirting. "So you're just sitting there watching his car?" She compares her own amateur stakeout with Keith's own 'glamorous' version and then says he owes her a beer if her husband's lover is blonde and twenty-two.
Oh Keith, you're in trouble.
Just as he's about to inappropriately stare at a photo he has of Harmony and her hubby hugging, the husband pulls up with a female work colleague. Keith takes down her number plate and snaps a few shots - none of them are money shots. He sighs.
The next day at breakfast, Keith comes out of his room to his daughter whistling (without) approval. "Sna-zzy." Then again, it would be easy to impress someone who's wearing an outfit so rigidly conservative she might as well be sending herself back in time to live with the Victorians. Yet, since Logan informed us in M.A.D. that time travel hasn't been invented yet we should go with one of Keith's zingers: "Did we start going to Church or are you addressing the junior league?" She's dressing down for what she assumes will be a walk through Club Date Rapist, Keith is dressing up because he's getting a little swoony over his client ... oh, I mean he's just going to Sexy Traffic Court because lookin' that fine and smellin' that good, deserves a fine of another definition. You know he got himself a ticket.
Harmony comes by Keith's office when he's having lunch, he lurches onto his feet to greet her. She walks in with a pizza box because they're just soooo booked up they have to squeeze in lunch with their meeting. It's not giving the meeting a date vibe at all. They open the pizza box ... and then it sits there like this huge, slimy centerpiece never to be touched again.
Keith tells Harmony that her husband, Marvin, was dropped off by a woman named Carly. (Side bar: no wonder the chemistry isn't flowing between Harmony and Marvin, everyone who's seen When Harry, Met Sally knows what I'm talking about. Marvin like ... oh, Piz for example, is a name that sounds terrible when moaned in pleasure. Hmm.) Harmony recognizes the name Carly straight away and slumps back in her seat with ... relief. Carly works at Riley International and Marvin does a lot of business with her company. She's also the smartest woman that dear, old Marvin has ever had the good fortune to meet. Match made in Heaven; Harmony can run for the hills with a clean conscience and an approving nod in Marv's direction.
Keith warns her that he only saw Carly dropping Marvin off, it could have been just business. Harmony grins but doesn't really acknowledge the warning, she's too busy being amused at the bizarre relief she's feeling; she's not jealous at all. And Keith seems to really like that. She finally grabs a slice of that pizza now she's all . . .relieved. Before she can take a bite, Keith asks if Harmony's ever tied her husband's tie and shows her a bug. (Totally illegal, of course, but Keith wants to get laid and he doesn't seem to think about the moment when dear, old Marvin, takes the tie off and finds the bug and gets them busted by the cops. Whatever.)
Later, Keith and Harmony are lazing about on the Mars Investigations couch reminiscing about Keith's good-old days as town Sheriff. He's telling her a story about the time he arrested the wrong perp and the guy never told him because he wanted to get away from his wife so badly that he didn't mind the night in jail. Ah, good times. But apparently being Sheriff makes you seriously incompetent, maybe the Sheriff's position is the equivalent of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the Harry Potter books.
Veronica and Logan burst into the office interrupting Keith and Harmony mid-giggle (better than mid-something else). Keith automatically jumps up from the seat guiltily; Logan and Veronica both read the vibes accurately. Hey, a parent doing naughty things isn't exactly a new thing to either of them. Awkwardness ensues. Keith has told Harmony all about the time Veronica saved a lobster from the Charthouse when she was seven, meaning Harmony has nicknamed her the Liberator of Lobsters. Not the best way to introduce yourself to Keith's suspicious daughter who cuts right through all the crap and realizes Keith's getting a wee bit too close to this potential adultery case ... a wee bit too close to committing adultery himself that is. She watches Harmony suspiciously as Keith subtly hints that it's time for Harmony to go (and escape his daughter's watchful eye). Logan watches Veronica's reaction with concern as Harmony leaves.
Later, Keith is staking out Marvin and Carly again, bug in place. He has his camera poised and ready for the money shot as Marvin helps Carly to her car. Marvin chivalrously opens her door and they're doing the classic Lean when Carly reaches up to lock lips with him. Keith snaps a great money shot.
And that seems to be that.
Keith shows the photo to Harmony and she seems a little teary and nervous now that she has her proof but she's determined to leave him. Keith makes her stop because he has something else for her to listen to. On the tape Marvin tells Carly to stop, he can't cheat on his wife - he has a family. Thank God for illegal bugs! Or, should I say, 'damnit, you should never use illegal bugs'? Keith and Harmony are disappointed that Marvin is such a swell guy, swell enough to drop all connection with Carly's firm as a client. At least if they'd gone without the bug Harmony could have jumped to her own conclusions with the photographic evidence. Instead, she goes home.

- Veronica and Keith are chatting in the Mars family kitchen while Keith prepares dinner. Veronica seems troubled and Keith is trying to insist that like all of his ideas, this one (whatever it is) is a good one. Veronica appears less than convinced. There's a knock on the door and with one last look of mistrust thrown her father's way, Veronica crosses the room. Keith looks after her with an expression that seems to say "wish you'd have a little faith in me."
Veronica opens the door and, lo and behold, there stands her most adorable boyfriend. This leads me to believe that Keith's good idea (that Veronica isn't entirely sold on) is having Logan over for a family dinner. Awww! Teasing Veronica over her furrowed brow, Logan wonders if she was perhaps expecting Sidney Poitier in a manner that makes the words "Sidney Poitier" sound sexier than they have any right to. (*shivers*) Seriously -- how does he do it?
Veronica steps out of the apartment and shuts the door behind her while furiously shaking her head. She gives Logan his laundry list of don'ts for the evening: "No jokes, no innuendos, no quips (and where's the fun in that?). Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers." Okay, yeah, it was funny but jeez, Veronica! A little faith in your boyfriend would not be out of place here.
Logan doesn't seem offended. In fact, he's grinning at Veronica in a way that suggests that he thinks her neuroses are the cutest thing ever. He then wonders aloud if he mentioned that his eyes adored her. (Awwww!) Veronica's trying to look stern and disapproving, but is clearly melting under the aforementioned adoring gaze. And really, how could she not? Of course, Logan can't help but be Logan and makes one last quip for the road that he won't call her "bobcat" and will make no mention of her milky thighs. (Swoon!) Veronica tilts her head back in mock anguish and tells him to go home.
Logan, being the mature and reformed man that he is, calmly assures Veronica that he won't say anything bad. She looks up at him and holds out her hand for him to take in a lovely expression of trust that harkens back to the similar scene in A Trip to the Dentist where Logan offered Veronica his hand before facing a similarly difficult situation. They head inside and prepare to face the Keith Mars firing squad.
Seated around the dinner island, the three enjoy their dinner as Keith begins to ask Logan questions. He starts out with a simple query about how school is going. Logan, clearly trying, comments that he doesn't hate it (which is definitely an improvement). Veronica's eyes are darting back and forth between her two favorite men trying to gauge the direction of the conversation and scrutinizing every word spoken. Logan starts to make another comment about how his grades are less than stellar, but Veronica cuts him off to proudly announce to her dad that Logan was accepted to Hearst late because his test scores were so high.
Keith tries again and asks Logan about the classes he's taking. Reeking of an unhealthy level of paranoia, Veronica jumps in and asks Keith where he's going with this line of questioning. Keith snarkily replies that his endgame was to discover -- gasp! -- what classes Logan is taking. C'mon Veronica, I know your dad is wily and cagey and has been known to lure your boyfriends into dangerous verbal traps by leading with seemingly innocuous questions, but he's clearly trying here. And I have faith that Logan can more than hold his own. So chill, girlfriend!
Logan, proving me right, tells Keith that he's taking a lot of core classes: Sociology, Freshman Composition, and Mass Communications -- which is coming in handy as he's learned that being the son of a murderer (who also happens to be a Hollywood icon) never gets old. He comments that he's gotten quite a few interview requests including one from Larry King who wants him to come on the show with O.J.'s kids. Logan tells Keith that he's not planning to do it.
Keith starts to ask Logan "why not?" but is interrupted yet again by Veronica who would prefer that they stay in the shallow end of the conversational pool for the time being. Keith apologizes, but clarifies to Logan that he thinks it is a good call and was merely curious about his reasons for turning down the interview. Turning back to Veronica he continues that he was unaware that he had to have the conversation vetted. Veronica immediately quips back that she would have been happy to veto questions for him ahead of time, which Keith declares would have been nice. Veronica responds that they could have packed a sandwich and made a day of it. A missed opportunity, Keith is sure. Logan can't help but to smile with amusement and great affection as he watches the interplay between father and daughter.
Ending the banter, Keith wonders exactly what conversational topics his daughter will allow. She ponders momentarily and suggests that perhaps hobbies would be a good choice and they both turn their attention back to Logan. Realizing that the ball has just been lobbed back into his proverbial court, Logan responds somewhat vaguely with " I don't know -- surfing?" (Definitely a better choice than telling Keith he enjoys spending time with Veronica getting, ah, "political.") Keith innocently asks what the attraction is and Veronica, sensing a potential minefield, cuts off that line of questioning too. Keith rolls his eyes and huffs over his daughter's over-zealous and over-protective behavior of her boyfriend.
- Mac's great-aunt, who apparently lived in Bakersfield, just passed away.
- Mac and Parker's dorm is planning a "Girl Power Movies Night" according to the poster outside their door.
- Judge Crawford throws an annual Christmas party that Keith and Harmony both attended for several years.
- Wallace was much fonder of Veronica's prior job at Java the Hut than her current position at the library, mainly due to the fact that the Hut served food. And we all know how Wallace likes to eat!
- According to his t-shirt, it appears that Mr. "Air" Fennell once participated in the Five Boroughs 'Golden 5' Three on Three basketball tournament.
- Dick (and this one's a real shocker) has never been invited to hang out at Veronica's place. That time he left flaming dog poo on her stoop doesn't count.
- Carly Hearn's license plate is 2QCM654.
- Ryan Douglas, President of Micardo Enterprises, has the following contact information: (800) 555-0199 PHONE, (657) 555-0147 FAX.
- Trina, at some point in the past, shot Nicole Richie with a BB gun. One of her finer moments, to be sure.
- Darryl Derryberry (and what the hell kind of a name is THAT?) took over the Ryland International account from Harmony's husband.
- Keith once investigated a case where he proved that a woman was impersonating her boss using photos he obtained from an ATM camera.
- Keith has a friend in banking.
- Norman Phipps was staying in room 103 at his hotel.
- The ATM and convenience store that Claire visited on the night of her rape were located at the corner of Staton and Lake.

- Veronica knocks on Mac and Parker's door (props to the set designer that hung the 'Girl Power Movies Night' outside their room). Parker opens the door with a smile, but when she sees Veronica she launches into a terse explanation that Mac is in Bakersfield because her great aunt has died. Lips pursed, Parker slams the door shut. You know, I think Veronica is going to develop a complex if any more doors are shut in her face.
Veronica turns around with a mixed expression of irritation and lack of surprise. But, donning her resolve face, she turns right back around and knocks on the door again. Parker yanks it open, pissed. Veronica tells her that Mac is one of her best friends (a friend that's neglected to tell Parker that the rape wasn't Veronica's fault?), so she's going to keep stopping by. "And having doors shut in my face is gonna get --" Parker tries to close the door, but Veronica blocks it with her foot "-- old." That Veronica, shes bold.
Giving up, Parker lets Veronica in. With faux excitement, she asks her if she wants to have a rap session in their PJs. They can eat brownie batter and do each other's nails! Veronica doesn't think Parker is being fair, and asks her if she really thinks Veronica wanted her to get raped. Parker accuses her of thinking that she's a whore that was simply asking for it. Veronica counter's with, "lots of people think I'm a whore." Parker drops the sarcasm and warns Veronica not to pretend like she understands. Defensively, Veronica says that she understand exactly how Parker's feeling. She's been understanding since Shelly Pomroy's end of the year party, summer 2004. Okay, I love that Veronica has decided to share this private part of her past with Parker, but I could have done without the glaring continuity error. In M.A.D., Veronica says that she was raped on December 7, 2003, implying that it was an end of the year party (albeit a slightly early one), not end of the school year. I'm willing to overlook the error, though, because this really is a great scene. It reminds me of the fantastic back-and-forth we had between Veronica and Jackie last season. Is Parker quite on the level of Jackie's snarkiness? No, but I take what I can get.
Parker softens a bit at Veronica's revelation, and Veronica assures her that she will catch the serial rapist. A knock on the door interrupts their conversation. It's Nish, ever the killjoy in an already bad situation. How much do you want to bet she's going to hit Parker up for an interview? Veronica warns her, "I'd be a little careful," before leaving the room. Nish tells Parker that she's doing an article -- surprise, surprise -- on the serial rapes and she's already interviewed most of the other victims. Parker interrupts Nish. She doesn't want to be interviewed. No sympathy, no "I completely understand" from Nish. I really dislike this woman. Instead, she persists and asks Parker if she remembers seeing any of the Pi Sigs at the Theta Beta party the night she was raped.
The next day, Veronica's working at the library desk when Wallace walks up with a copy of the Hearst Free Press. Veronica reads the title with interest: 'Pi Sig frat common thread in campus rapes.' Wallace says there was a Pi Sig event the night of every rape, and he shows Veronica the graphic that was printed, comparing the times of the rapes with the durations of the frat events. Claire, the latest victim, was supposedly at the Pig Sig haunted house the night she was raped. Veronica's skeptical. After all, Nish has collected this data and Veronica knows that she's biased. Still, she doesn't trust the Pi Sigs either.
That night, Keith is leaving the Mars apartment when he sees Dick lurking around outside. That's right. Dick Casablancas. I had trouble wrapping my head around this one, too. And he's looking for Veronica, which is even more bizarre. He tells Keith he's been to their complex once before when his family was picking up their maid. Word of advice, Dick? Don't burn the guy whose apartment you're trying to get into. Keith wordlessly lets him in, and Dick wipes his feet on the doormat (hee! Keith really just has no words.). Keith calls for Veronica, and as they wait, Dick comments on how "awesome" the little kitchen area is. Dick, just stop talking. We all know an 09er kitchen is at least triple in size.
Veronica walks into the room and Dick greets her with a "hey, buddy!" Another piece of advice, Dick? Veronica Mars cannot be sucked up to. He says he can't believe she's never invited him over before, even though they've known each other forever. Apparently in the lexicon of Dick, "forever" means a few years. Veronica reminds Dick that he left a flaming bag of dog poo in front her their door one time. "That was kind of a play date," she remarks with fake fondness. Keith asks her if it's time to show Dick out, but Veronica say it's fine, and Keith leaves. Veronica asks Dick what he wants, and he says the Pi Sigs are in danger of being kicked off campus because the rapes. Theres going to be a hearing. That's where she comes in, he says. Veronica asks if she gets to do the kicking. Dick grins; "You get to be the spy that loves me." He wants her to do her "Veronica thing" and clear the Pi Sigs. He says they're a frat; why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk? Okay, if Logan's "when the milk stops being free, I stop drinking it" quip to Kendall early season two wasn't disturbing, then this definitely is.
Veronica's about to tell Dick to shove off, but she realizes that taking the case will either rule out the Pi Sigs as suspects or bring her closer to finding out who the rapist is. She informs Dick that she'll need full access to the fraternity and $1500 up front. Aw, what happened to the friend-of-a-friend rate? Veronica tells Dick to leave before she changes her mind. He hurries out of the apartment, and after the door shuts, he turns around and calls out, "thank you!" What can you say? The boy never fails to amuse.
Veronica enters the Pig Sig frat house the next day wearing a bland, not at ALL flattering pantsuit, which she says is fashion's way of saying, "Move along. Nothing to see here." Chip walks up to Veronica and reluctantly greets her. Veronica's all business, and tells him that she needs to know where each of the frat boys was when Claire was raped. Chip doesn't know why that's relevant; shouldn't she be clearing their names by looking into non-Pi Sigs? I guess Chip's sharper than Veronica gave him credit for. But he agrees to give her whatever she wants, anyway. Veronica says that the last thing Claire remembers from the night she was raped was buying a drink in front of the haunted house. He says laughingly that Charleston was serving drinks that night, but he's an idiot and she probably doesn't want to talk to him. Uh, Chip? Way to make her want to talk to him even more.
Charleston (Chu, not Chew) is an idiot, all right, and way too into his Baywatch-themed pinball. Veronica asks him if he served drinks all night. He says that though he probably gave Claire a drink, that doesn't mean he raped her. No, but it makes him the most likely suspect, so he'd better start talking if he wants the media to leave him alone. Charleston grumbles about how Veronica's supposed to be working for the frat, not against them, but when she starts walking away, he rushes after, admitting that he hasn't told her everything. He says that once the refreshment stand made $500, he was supposed to bring the cash to Chip's room, because he was in charge of the money. But when he went to his room, the door was locked and he heard noises coming from inside. When Chip opened the door, he was naked, sweaty, and not in the mood to be bothered. Veronica says it was like he caught Chip in flagrante, but Charleston doesn't know what that means. "No, in the middle of sex." Well, he's guilty of stupidity, at least ...
Another frat boy calls to their attention a protest that's taking place outside the house. Parker, Nish and Nancy (the speaker at the 'Take Back the Night' rally) are among the chanting crowd of women. "No more rapes at Hearst, Women's safety first." A shirtless Dick walks out of the house, puts his arm around Veronica's shoulder, and quotes Poltergeist. "They're heeere."
Veronica confronts Chip in the cafeteria the next day and notices that the top of his hand is bruised. He explains that he was working the Boo Room at the haunted house; it was pitch black and one of the guys accidentally stomped on it. Veronica doesn't quite believe him, but continues questioning him anyway. She asks him who he was "knocking boots" with that night, and he says he might as well not tell her, because the girl would never admit to it.
Later, Veronica finds Charleston and some girl having a make-out fest outside. He leaves and Veronica walks up to her. She lies that she's friends with Charleston, as well as her "boy on the side," Chip. Just like Chip said, the girl denies their tryst. Veronica says that she's going to have to own up to it at some point, because if she and Chip were together, then she's Chip's alibi.
Charleston's girlfriend bitchily walks away, and up comes Dick. No "hey, buddy" this time; Dick's pissed because the Pi Sigs think Veronica's coming after them instead of finding the real "raper." Poor Dick; I guess he can't speak good either. Veronica corrects him: "Rapist. Learn the terminology." Dick shrugs and Veronica notices bruising on his hand, too. She asks him about it, and he says a window fell on it. You know, if the Pi Sigs don't want Veronica accusing them, then they should try lying a little less. Dick says that the hearing is in two days, so Veronica had better hurry up with the case. She reveals that Logan told her the story about Dick showing up at his place the night Park was raped, all wrecked and saying he was messed up. Dick just says, "Whipped guys make the worst friends," and stalks off. So Dick, a rapist? Two in one household? Veronica wonders. (I think the script here is a little too casual, but I guess I can fanwank that Veronica doesn't want to think about Beaver.).
Veronica rushes up to Parker the next morning, and Parker says she can save it; she knows that Veronica's working for the Pi Sigs. Veronica corrects her; she's just trying to figure out what the frat boys are up to. Parker brings up how it looked like she and Dick were all chummy outside the frat house the other day. Veronica asks her if she knows Dick, and Parker says that he gave her his number at orientation, and that she actually thought he was cute. But then Mac told her about his showing up the night before she was raped, pounding on the door and calling out her name. She says she didn't find out about this until after she talked with Sheriff Lamb. Dick's not as harmless as he looks, Parker warns (as if you really have to tell Veronica that). He chased Nancy out of the haunted house, calling her a bitch. She says the next time Veronica and Dick are snuggling outside the frat house (Snuggling? More like Veronica stood stiffly while glaring ...), she can ask him why.
The next day, Veronica waits for Nancy outside her dorm room. Now that she's thought about it, why would Nancy attend a frat event after she'd already been raped and had given that whole spiel about the frat houses needing to be shut down? Nancy says that she went with Claire to the haunted house because she'd heard there was going to be a Grope Room (which the Pi Sigs have euphemized to the Boo Room). So she and Claire dressed as rats and placed rat traps on all their gropable parts. Veronica is impressed, but this also means that the bruises on Chip and Dick's hands were from the traps, not forced sex. Nancy says that when Dick chased her out of the frat house, that's when she lost track of Claire. She thought she saw her later down the street from the party, but when she called out her name, the girl didn't respond. Nancy says that she's already told Sheriff Lamb all of this (fat lot of good that'll do).
Later, Veronica scopes out a convenient store, outside of which is where Nancy saw the girl that looked like Claire. She walks up to the cashier and asks him if he was working last Saturday, the night Claire was raped. The man says that he works every Saturday night, so Veronica shows him a picture of Claire. He says he saw her; she was so drunk she had trouble standing. She came in with a guy, who was trying to buy condoms. He didn't have the cash on hand and needed to spend $15 to be able to use his credit card. So the cashier sent him to a nearby ATM, and they came back later and bought the condoms.
At Mars Investigations the next day, Veronica walks into Keith's office and reminds him about a case a few years ago, where he had to obtain ATM photos in order to nail the criminal. Keith explains that a representative of the bank needs to request a court order. Once it's issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos. It's so easy a monkey could do it. "So Bubbles," Veronica leans forward on his desk, "You feel like doing me a solid?"
Veronica finds the Pi Sig brothers that night as they're heading to their hearing (leave it to Veronica to make them sweat it out a little). She says that the morning after the haunted house, Claire woke up in the park at five a.m. with her head shaved. That's a little strange, since the other victims we've heard about have been raped in their bedrooms. Veronica give Chip the ATM photo that she obtained (I hope she's made a copy for herself). Claire looks wasted and there's an Asian guy standing behind her (though not directly, which makes me think that he might just have been waiting to use to machine?). The time stamp on the photo is two a.m., two hours after the haunted house closed. And since the guy in the photo isn't one of the Pi Sigs, that means they're innocent. Veronica, however, is very much guilty in the eyes of the feminists. She turns around and realizes that they've been standing there, watching her give the Pi Sigs the evidence they need to clear themselves. I'm guessing they were going to attend the hearing and watch the frat boys get nailed to the wall, one by one. Veronica walks by the group of women without a word. What is she supposed to say? She was doing her job, but they refuse to believe that the rapist is someone other than a frat boy.
Parker confronts Veronica the next day and gives her the news about the Pi Sigs being absolved. Veronica justifies what she did; she was looking for the truth and the truth is that the frat wasn't involved. "You want to nail someone to wall, just to have them nailed there," she asks Parker, "or do you want the person responsible to pay?"

"Never Lonely Alone" (Space Needle)
Scene: Sigh, poor woobie Logan. He just wants some family to love.

LoVe Lines
(Veronica opens the apartment door to see Logan standing on the porch.)
Logan: You were expecting Sidney Poitier?
Veronica: (Stepping out of the apartment and closing the door behind her.) Mmhmm. No jokes. No innuendos, no quips, don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers. (Waves her fingers at Logan.)
Logan: (Amused.) Can I mention that my eyes adored you? (Off Veronica's exasperated look.) I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
Veronica: (Despairingly.) Go home.
Logan: (In a reassuring voice.) Veronica, I won't say anything bad.
(Veronica holds out her hand, Logan takes it, they smile at each other and she leads him into the apartment.)
Keith: (As he, Veronica, and Logan are eating dinner.) So how's school going, Logan?
Logan: Well, I'm actually not hating it. My grades aren't exactly --
Veronica: (Cutting Logan off.) Oh, Hearst took him in late because of his high test scores.
Keith: What classes are you taking?
Veronica: Where is this going?
Keith: My end game is to find out what classes Logan is taking.
Logan: Just core stuff. You know, sociology, freshman comp, mass comm, which is kind of coming in handy. You know, apparently being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old. I'm getting all these interview requests. Larry King wants me to come on with O.J.'s kids.
Keith: Oh, are you thinking about it?
Logan: No.
Keith: Why's that?
Veronica: (A little irrationally, making a slashing motion with her arm.) Time out. Whew! Can we stay in the shallow end, please?
Keith: (To Logan.) I'm sorry. I think it's a good call, I was just curious as to your reasons. (Turning to Veronica.) I didn't realize I had to have the conversation vetted.
Veronica: I would have been happy to veto questions for you ahead of time.
(Logan looks back and forth between them with amusement.)
Keith: Mmm, that would have been nice, huh?
Veronica: We could have packed a lunch and made a day of it!
Keith: Missed opportunity, if you ask me.
Veronica: A mistake you can learn from.
(Logan looks at Veronica adoringly.)
Keith: What exactly am I allowed to ask Logan about?
Veronica: (A little stumped, glances at Logan then back at Keith.) Hobbies?
Logan: (After Veronica and Keith turn to look at him in unison.) Surfing?
Keith: What's the attraction?
Veronica: (Jumping in before Logan can speak.) Don't ... answer that. (Keith exhales loudly and rolls his eyes.)
Veronica: (As the Neptune Grand elevator doors open on her and Logan.) You're not showing me porn ...
Logan: No.
Veronica: Is it ... a fuzzy, newborn kitten?
Logan: (As the pair exit the elevator and approach the suite door.) Look, the meeting with Avi Kaufman, bean counter to the stars, didn't go very well. My trust fund's evaporating faster than it should, I think he's skimming off the top.
Veronica: My dad has got a great accountant.
Logan: (Opening the door.) Ehh, I think I need more of a private detective to help me nail this guy to the wall.
Veronica: Well, show me the records, I'm sure I can make sense of ... (Breaks off as she looks past Logan to the boxes piled on the floor in his suite.)
Logan: (With a smirk.) Go get 'em, bobcat.
Harmony: (Smiling.) Veronica? The liberator of lobsters?
Logan: (Smiling, adoringly.) Oh, I never knew.
Veronica: A single lobster. Once. From the Chart House, when I seven. He tells that one to all the new clients.
Logan: (To Veronica.) Hey, sorry I took so long. I went out for Thai and ended up getting a massage. You should have been more specific.
Logan: Hey, you think I should dangle Kaufman out a window by his ankles?
Veronica: How about you numb your fury with grease and fat until I can do a little more homework?
Logan: Reason, huh? I'm not sure I like it.
Veronica: Here's a fun thing to say to your beau. Mind if I go put the screws to someone?
Logan: (Smiling.) Go ahead. Screw your brains out.
Logan: (To Veronica.) Perfect timing. I think lonely telescope guys getting tired of me just mooning him.
Veronica: Hey, careful man! There's a beverage here. (Logan kisses her head) You doing O.K.?
Logan: On top of the world, looking down on creation.
Veronica: Saw you on Larry King last night giving your half-brother a little coming out party. Life as Charlie Stone knew it is officially over.
Logan: I'm choking with empathy. He served me up to the Vanity Fair reporter and brought it on himself.
Veronica: We don't know that for sure.
Logan: Well, how else would it have happened?
Logan: Well, I'm glad you went digging. You know, officially erased any and all romantic notions about my family.
Veronica: (Somewhat guiltily.) That's me. All sorts of helpful.
Logan: I was hoping you could bust some of that out again and help me find Norman Phipps.
Veronica: Why?
Logan: Well, I gave him a pocket watch that belonged to my grandfather -- the only decent member of my family. Course he died when I was five, so who knows? Still. Kind of burns thinking of Norman having it.
Veronica: In my world the wicked don't get parting gifts.
Veronica: The reporter acted alone. He was tapping Charlie's line when you called. Your real half brother is innocent.
Logan: I was so quick to believe that guy. (Sadly.) You know, I look at you and your dad -- you know, that thing that you have? I never had that.
Veronica: You couldn't have known.
Logan: Not sure that'll matter to him.
Quotable Quotes
Veronica: (Watching Keith prepare dinner.) This is a bad idea.
Keith: No, it's not.
Veronica: You only think it's not because you came up with it.
Keith: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me plus idea equals good. (Someone knocks on the door, Veronica goes to answer it.)
Parker: (Letting Veronica into her room.) What ... you wanna have a rap session? Maybe in our pj's? We can eat brownie batter and do each other's nails!
Veronica: Do you really think that when I walked in here that night I really thought "Hmm, look, Parker's getting raped. Now where are those movie tickets!?"
Parker: Noo. You just figured the whore was getting her freak on.
Veronica: So ... you're really mad because I thought you were a whore? Because lots of people think I'm a whore.
Wallace: (Approaching Veronica at the library help desk.) I liked the other place you worked better.
Veronica: Think maybe that's because we had food there?
Wallace: (Handing Veronica the school paper.) There's a little graphic and everything.
Veronica: Colored ink! It must be true!
Keith: (Walking out of the Mars' apartment and spotting Dick.) Can I help you?
Dick: Do you know which one of these is Veronica's? (Recognizing Keith.) Oh! Guess so. This is so freaky. I've totally been to this complex before - we had to pick up our maid here once. Is Veronica home? (Keith opens the door, Dick wipes his feet on the mat several times.)
Keith: Honey?
Dick: Ah, it's like a little kitchen area, huh? Oh, that's awesome.
Veronica: (Entering the living room and addressing Keith.) If you're not gonna shoo it out with a paper, I'm stepping on it.
Dick: Hey, buddy! Hope it's not weird me just showing up. I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over.
Veronica: You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time. That was kinda of a play-date. (Dick chuckles and glances uncomfortably at Keith.)
Keith: You need me to ...
Veronica: Its fine. (Keith leaves.)
Dick: You guys are cute.
Veronica: Dick, why are you here?
Dick: You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties and suddenly school is all in a bunch. There's, like, this hearing scheduled to try and get us kicked off campus - and that's where you come in.
Veronica: I get to do the kickin'?
Dick: You get to be the Spy Who Loves Me. The guys were really impressed on how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.
Veronica: Were they? That means so little.
Dick: They know we had, like, this connection, so they sent me here to hire you. We need you to prove it's a pack o' lies.
Veronica: Is it? A pack of lies?
Dick: We're a frat. Why rape the cow if youre swimming in free milk?
Veronica: Maybe you guys should hire someone you don't disgust.
Dick: They don't care about the disgusted thing. They want you.
Veronica: (She considers this and has a light-bulb moment.) I'll need full access to the fraternity. I'll need to know everything about the night of the haunted house. My fee is $1500, up front.
Dick: Really? (Looking around the apartment.) That's what you guys make?
Veronica: That's the Pi Sig rate.
Dick: Okay.
Veronica: And you'll need to leave right now before I change my mind. (Dick beats a hasty retreat.)
Veronica Mars Voiceover: Who knew that when opportunity knocked it would look like an horny surfer?
Dick: (Giving two thumbs up through the glass in the door.) Thank you.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: And he hand delivered an invitation into the belly of the beast.
Harmony: (Over Keith's cell phone) Hello.
Keith: Hi, its Keith Mars.
Harmony: Can I guess? She's blonde, 22, no visible pores, and pierced navel.
Keith: Nope. Nope. Looks like he's really working late. I've been parked by his car all night.
Harmony: Really? Huh.
Keith: The office on the bottom floor, right?
Harmony: Yeah. So, you're just sitting there looking at his car.
Keith: Yeah, its glamorous, I know.
Harmony: At least it's your job. I did it a couple weeks ago for sport, I was so sure he was cheating I decided to follow him. I wore a hat and sunglasses! Not my finest hour.
Keith: Yeah, well, no more I Love Lucy reruns for you.
Harmony: We should have a bet. If she's blonde and 22, you owe me a beer.
Keith: Good-night, Harmony.
Harmony: Good-night.
Keith: (Walking into the Mars' kitchen.) My accountant said she'd be finished looking over Logan's files this afternoon.
Veronica: (Looking at Keith and whistles.) Snazzy.
Keith: (Giving Veronica a look.) Did we start going to church or are you addressing the Junior League?
Veronica: Bland is the new hot.
Keith: Is it possible your boyfriends financial problems are just his "champagne wishes and caviar dreams" biting him on the ass?
Veronica: One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of man servants and suddenly he's spendy. (Gets a whiff of Keith.) Umm, did you trip and fall onto sandalwood, musk, and a hint of spicy citrus, or is that cologne?
Keith: It's aftershave. I'm going to Traffic Court.
Veronica: Sexy Traffic Court?
Keith: (Glancing at Veronica's feet.) Nice shoes. You change your major to Woman's Studies?
Veronica: Ha! Yuck it up, Fancy Pants.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: When entering a frat house full of accused rapists, the pantsuit is a solid wardrobe choice. Its fashion's way of saying: Move along, there's nothing to see here.
Veronica: Your last name is Chu?
Charleston: Yeah.
Veronica: (With a queer look.) Charleston ... Chu?
Charleston: Once the bank for the refreshment stand reached $500, we were supposed to bring it up to Chip's room, right, 'cause he's in charge of the cash. So I did, but his door was locked. I heard noises, I started knocking, and then Chip like, whips open the door all pissed off and outta breath.
Veronica: 'Cause that's where his Stairmaster is?
Charleston: He was buck-naked and sweaty, like I caught him in ...
Veronica: Flagrante?
Charleston: No. In the middle of sex.
Dick: (Putting arm around Veronica, as they face protestors.) They're heeere.
Veronica (To Chip.): Whoah. What happened to your mitts? Let me guess. It involved a cookie jar.
Veronica: You and Chip. Weren't you his date to the haunted house? I hear you went as the beast with two backs.
Dick: You're torturing me.
Veronica: (Smiling) Without even trying? God, I'm good.
Dick: My brothers are all sorts of pissed. They think you're coming after them instead of trying to find the real raper.
Veronica: Do you mean rapist? Learn the terminology!
Dick: The hearing is in two days. So go work your little pixie spy magic and fix this!
Dick: Whipped guys make the worst friends.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: So Dick, a rapist? Two in the same household? Possibly. Quarterbacks seem to run in the Manning family. I know Logan's always worried about being genetically predestined for antisocial behavior.
Veronica: (Slightly out of breath.) Parker! Hey!
Parker: Save your performance. I know you're working for the Pi Sigs.
Veronica: I'm not working for the Pi Sigs. I'm working for you.
Parker: (Sarcastically.) Yeah.
Veronica: I'm just using this opportunity to get close to them, so I can figure out what they're up to.
Parker: Yeah, and you're trying to find out who raped me by hugging it out with Dick Casablancas?!
Veronica: Can I talk to you?
Nancy: Aren't you a little busy doing funnel shots with the Pi Sigs?
Veronica: Aren't you? Heard you went to their haunted house. That must have been fun! Did you go as a hypocrite?
Nancy: We dressed up as rats and strategically put rat traps on all of our gropable parts.
Veronica: ... Okay, that is pretty genius.
Veronica: Hi, I was wondering --
Store Clerk: I'm not hiring.
Store Clerk: They came back later, he bought his raincoat; one less bastard child conceived by morons. (Veronica's eyes widen comically.) Everyone's hap-py.
Fake Charlie/Norman: Then on my tenth birthday my mom takes me to see Aaron Echolls in Thought Police. She points to the screen, she says, 'That's the guy, that's your dad.'
Logan: She took you to see Thought Police on your birthday? Did she hate you?
Fake Charlie/Norman: I'm like, mom don't screw with my head, I can't deal with the fact that the guy mind wrestling with Stallone on screen knocked you up.
Fake Charlie/Norman: I'd see pictures of your family and think that life (Pointing to Logan, then himself.) should be mine.
Logan: Nah, you don't want it. Trust me.
Fake Charlie/Norman: No, I know, that's the thing. The more I watched, the more happy I became that it wasn't my family. Your dad cheats on your mom, it's on the cover of People. Your sister shoots Nicole Richie with a BB gun, Jay Leno opens his monologue with it. Then murder ... I started wondering if something was wrong with me, you know? If this is my bloodline? (They share a long look until Logan looks away.)
Logan: Yeah, join the club.
Logan: (To Veronica, beaming with pride) Well, Charlie has to go home and grade papers. He's got an honest job. He's a contributing member of society. Very un-Echolls.
Logan: You surf?
Fake Charlie: As often and as long as I can.
Logan: (Grinning stupidly) Man ... we are brothers.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: I have options. I could be excited for Logan -- thrilled even -- that his new brother is such a keeper. Or ... I could be me.
Logan: (Logan and Fake Charlie are straddling their surf boards in flat water.) So it's Christmas, right? The entire family unit is around ... which is rare. You know, I don't know, I'm nine. And Aaron hands me a gift but he notices the box has been rewrapped -- so he knows I peeked. I'm nine years old and he's regifting me a fruitbasket! Starts shouting about how I've ruined Christmas.
Fake Charlie/Norman: Oh my God.
Logan: Yeah. Then he tells me I'm not opening another gift until I eat all twelve pears in the box.
Fake Charlie: Damn, man. The scissors incident, the drained swimming pool episode and now a box of pears?
Logan: So I'm eating the pears and taking my time, (Smirking mischievously.) taking these dainty bites ... (His smile fading.) The man comes unhinged ... takes these pears and just starts shoving them down my throat one after another and then ... then I'm choking but he doesn't stop until my mom holds a cheese knife to his throat. To this day, I puke if I smell a pear.
Logan: (walking with Fake Charlie, spots Veronica and uses a hick accent.) Quick, Jim, hide them hookers!
Veronica: So, Norman, how's your story coming?
Norman: (After sharing a look with Logan, he smiles.) Great. In fact, I'm almost there, just one thing: Logan, that fruit basket? Was it from Harry & David? God is in the details. (Logan glares and moves toward him.) Oh, please take a swing, it'd make a great lead. (Logan stops. Thinks. Smiles darkly. Punches Norman across the face.)
Veronica: Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you "obtain" the ATM photos that proved it?
Keith: I know a guy. (Veronica gives him a look that clearly says "And...") A representative of the bank needs to request a court order and once the court order is issued it only takes about an hour to get the photos.
Veronica: So it's a piece of cake.
Keith: A monkey with a friend who's a bank representative can do it.
Veronica: (Leaning on Keith's desk) So Bubbles, you feel like doin' me a solid? Hmmm?
Veronica: Hello Chip, Dick. Faceless Star Trek crew members.
Veronica: Voila ... proof of innocence. Courtesy of pixie spy magic.
Veronica Voiceover: Hmmm. When did the Greek chorus of feminist shame arrive?
Parker: (With faux enthusiasm.) Good news! The Pi Sigs were absolved.
Veronica: Because they were innocent.
Parker: Because you helped them. Which is what you were trying to do all along. How do you live with yourself?
Veronica: I was looking for the truth ... and I found it. You wanna nail someone to the wall just to have them nailed there or do you want the person responsible to pay?
Veronica: Hey there fake Charlie! You weren't expecting to see me again, were you? Can I come in? (Pushes past him into his hotel room.)
Norman: Look, I was just doing my job. None of it matters anyway. The magazine dropped the story when Larry King scooped them.
Veronica: (Smiling somewhat diabolically.) That was the plan.
Charlie's Voicemail: Hi, this is Charlie. Please leave a message. (Machine beeps.)
Logan: (Tentatively.) Hey, Charlie, it's Logan again. Um, listen, I'm sorry about my messages. I guess I thought I'd give it another shot. Third time's a charm, right?

Charlie Don't Surf ... (Referenced by the episode title.)
The reference refers to a famous quote from the 1979 Vietnam War film Apocalypse Now, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. "Charlie" refers to the members of the American forces typically referred to members of the National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam , also known as "Viet Cong." the name comes from the US Armed Forces' phonetic alphabet's pronunciation of VC ("Victor Charlie").
The particular scene is when the patrol boat arrives at a Landing Zone where Captain Benjamin L. Willard (Martin Sheen) and his crew meet up with Lt. Colonel Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall), the eccentric commander of the regional AirCav unit, following a massive and hectic mopping-up operation of a conquered enemy town. Kilgore, a keen surfer, befriends Johnson, one of Willard's unit. Later, he learns from one of his men that the beach down the coast which marks the opening to the river is perfect for surfing, a factor which persuades him to capture it.
The problem is, his troops say, it is "Charlie's point" and heavily fortified. Dismissing this complaint with the explanation that "Charlie don't surf!" Kilgore orders his men to saddle up in the morning so that the AirCav can capture the town and the beach. Riding high above the coast in a fleet of Hueys accompanied by H-6s, Kilgore launches an attack on the beach. The scene, famous for its use of Richard Wagner's epic "Ride of the Valkyries," ends with the soldiers surfing the barely claimed beach amidst skirmishes between infantry and VC. After helicopters swoop over the village and demolish all visible signs of resistance, a giant napalm strike in the nearby jungle dramatically marks the climax of the battle. Kilgore exults to Willard in a famous speech:
Born on February 20, 1927, Sir Sidney Poitier is a Bahamian American Academy Award-winning actor (film and stage), film director, and activist. He has been hailed as a breakthrough star thanks to acclaimed performances, which, by consciously defying racial stereotyping, gave a new dramatic credibility for black actors to mainstream film audiences in the Western world.
Poitier was born on the high seas en route to Miami, a routine trip his parents made between Florida and their farm on Cat Island in the Bahamas. After troubled teenage years where he displayed delinquent tendencies, he was sent to live with his brother in Florida, two years later at age 18 he moved to New York City and tried his hand at theater. Originally rejected, he worked on his acting and getting rid of his Bahamian accent. After six months, he succeeded enough and landed a leading role in the Broadway production, Lysistrata, for which his reviews were excellent. Eventually he was able to choose leading roles on stage and then film. Poitier's breakout role came as a member of an incorrigible high school class in the 1955 film Blackboard Jungle -- despite being twenty-seven at the time of filming. He went onto win the Academy Award for Best Actor for the 1963 film Lilies of the Field; Poitier was the first actor of African descent to win this award.
In 1974, he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II (by right and recommendation of his Bahamian citizenship) and in 2000, he received the Life Achievement Award from the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), in 2002 he received an Honorary Academy Award for his lifetime achievement in the film industry from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Poitier has been married twice, the first was to Juanita Hardy from April 29, 1950 until 1965. He has four children from that actress. On January 23, 1976, he married Joanna Shimkus, a Canadian-born former actress of Lithuanian descent, and he has two children from this marriage. His fifth youngest child is actress Sydney Tamiia Poitier who many Veronica Mars fans may remember from her short stint during the first season as journalism teacher, Mallory Dent.

A Young Poitier, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner DVD cover and Poitier with former
Veronica Mars cast member, daughter, Sydney Tamiia Poitier.
The direct reference to Sir Poitier in Logan's line comes from one of his most famous films, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, This is a famous 1967 dramedy starring Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, Poitier and Katharine Houghton. The 1967 groundbreaking story dealt with the controversial subject of interracial marriage which had been illegal historically in most of the United States, and was still illegal in seventeen Southern U.S. States up until June 12 of that year. The story revolved around Joanna Drayton, a young white American woman (Houghton) who has had a whirlwind romance with Dr. Prentice (Poitier), an African American she met while on a holiday in Hawaii. The two plan to marry and she will return with him to Switzerland. The plot is centered on Joanna's return to her liberal upper class American home bringing her new fianc to dinner to meet her parents, and the reaction of family and friends.
My Eyes Adored You ... (Referenced by Logan to Veronica when listing things he can't say to Keith.)
Written by Bob Crewe and Kenny Nolan, "My Eyes Adored You" is a popular romantic ballad originally recorded by Frankie Valli -- lead singer of the Four Seasons) and released in the fall of 1974. The song was the only number one hit for Valli outside of the group, despite this, the solo is often included on Four Seasons compilations. The dreamy lyrics (Oh, Logan!) are below:
Bobcat ... (Referenced by Logan (twice) as a nickname for Veronica.)
The bobcat (Lynx rufus, or commonly felis rufus), although it does not bare the family name is a distinct species in the Lynx genus. However, it is often smaller and although it shares many of the common lynx characteristics, it can be differentiated from the lynx in a number of ways. The bobcat has less pronounced ear tufts and cheek ruffs, a dark tip covering only the top of its 'stumpy' tail, much smaller feet, and a generally more patterned and varied coat coloration. Ground fur colour ranges from light grey, through yellowish brown to reddish brown and markings vary from 'tabby' stripes to heavy spotting. In general, bobcats found in the southern parts of their range are darker and smaller, whilst cats in the north are usually paler and larger. The bobcat is named for its short, bobbed tail and they average seventeen to twenty-three inches in height and twenty-five to forty-one inches in length. The male generally weighs sixteen to twenty-eight pounds, while the female weights on average ten to eighteen pounds. Today, there are approximately 725,000 to a little over a million bobcats in the wild and their status as an endangered species is vulnerable for two main reasons.
They are hunted and trapped for their fur throughout much of their range. Between 1991 to 1992, about 22,000 pelts were sold and traded. They also have a reputation as sheep killers in Mexico where they are frequently killed by farmers. However, a bobcat diet consists of rabbits, squirrels, mice, gophers, rats and fish, although they are good at catching all their prey because of their hunting ability. The bobcat does not kill healthy large prey -- unless desperate -- which works out well for the environment, as the death of this sick animals cuts down the spread of disease.

The mating ritual of the bobcat is similar to that domesticated house cats; however, there is generally a timeline as mating usually occurs in late winter. Cubs are often born in early spring after a fifty to seventy day gestation period. Much like house cats, litter sizes vary from one to six cubs and they have one litter a year. After giving birth, a mother bobcat will only hunt right around her den and not all of her hunting territory. Weaning the kittens by three months, she first brings back killed animals. Once they're used to eating meat, the mother brings back live prey so that her young can practice hunting and killing. The litter stays by their mother's side for a year.
If you're wondering where in heaven's name Logan came up with this as a nickname for Veronica, take note of one more factoid about the animal. I'd say it fits our Miss Mars to a tee. Despite the bobcat's cute appearance, it is actually very fierce and can take down those much more powerful than it. Yuppers, that's our Veronica.
Larry King ... (Referenced by Logan when answering Keith about one of his classes/Later by Logan about going on the show.)
Born Lawrence Harvey Zeiger on November 19, 1933, Larry King is the host of the CNN nightly interview show, Larry King Live. King has received many broadcasting awards. He won the Peabody Award for Excellence in broadcasting for both his radio (1982) and television (1992) shows. He has also won 10 CableACE awards for Best Interviewer and for best Talk Show Series. Larry King Live The show broadcasts from Los Angeles from CNN's studios. Sometimes, the show broadcasts from CNN's studios in New York and sometimes from Washington, the city where King gained national prominence during his years as a radio interviewer for the Mutual Broadcasting System. Each studio set features an identical colored-dot map of the world in the background and one of King's trademarks, a vintage RCA microphone, on the desk.

King is often criticized for the soft questions he asks in comparison to other tougher interviews. He claims that he slips harder questions in between the softball ones when appropriate and says that the secret to a good interview is to get the guest to talk about themselves with the interviewer in the background.
O.J. Simpson ... (Referenced by Logan when answering Keith about one of his classes.)
Prior to 1994, OJ (Orenthal James) Simpson or "The Juice" lived a charmed life. He was a renowned running back, winning the Heisman Trophy, playing for both the Buffalo Bills and the San Francisco 49ers, earning All-Pro honors 5 times, and, later, being inducted into the Football Hall of Fame. Even now, many consider him to be one of the greatest running backs of all time. He also was, not a good actor, but *an* actor. Okay, so maybe even actor is still a wee bit of an overestimation. Simpson starred in The Klansman (1974), The Towering Inferno (1974), Cassandra Crossing (1976), Capricorn One (1978), Naked Gun (1988) Naked Gun 2 1/2 (1991) and Naked Gun 33 1/3(1994).
Then in 1994, the history of OJ Simpson took on a different flavor.
His ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ron Goldman, were found murdered in her home. Rather than sit for questioning or face the police (like a man with nothing to hide might do), OJ decided that his best course of action was to take off in his now infamous white Bronco. Soon all of America was tuned in as the police slow-chased after one of its most well-known sports heroes.
Eventually, he was caught and charged. OJ assembled a "dream team" of the nation's top defense attorneys who not only got him off with catchy phrases like, "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit," but also made the DA and the police look a bit incompetent. It should have been a "can't lose" case for the prosecution. Yet between the police planting evidence, racism on the part of the head investigator, OJ's fame, the media frenzy, and the brilliant misdirection of Mr. Johnny Cochran, OJ went free. Although this was a murder trial, and therefore should have been taken seriously, it was not. It actually just became a forum for spectacle and a target for public mockery. Particularly, as the entire thing was played out on television.
His children are Sydney Brooke Simpson (born October 17, 1985) and Justin Ryan Simpson (born August 6, 1988).
Bakersfield ... (Referenced by Parker to Veronica about Mac's location.)
Bakersfield is the county seat of Kern County, California, in the United States. As of the 2000 census, the city population was 247,057. As of 2006 the population is estimated to be around 312,000 within the city limits making it the 11th largest municipality in California and 59th largest city in the nation (as of latest US Census estimates). The greater Bakersfield area numbers around 451,800 including unincorporated areas, according to local municipal sources. It is California's third largest inland city after Fresno and Sacramento.
Bakersfield's economy thrives on agriculture, petroleum extraction and refining. It is one of the fastest growing of the larger cities of the United States. Top producing area crops include cotton, carrots, table grapes, almonds, pistachios, citrus, wheat, garlic, and potatoes. Local oil fields include the prolific 100-year old Kern River field, the Midway-Sunset field, the former Naval Petroleum Reserve at Elk Hills, the Kern Front field, and the Belridge field.

In the 1950s, local country musicians such as Buck Owens, Merle Haggard and Wynn Stewart helped invent a rock and roll-influenced country music style called the Bakersfield sound. Their influence was so great that Bakersfield is second only to Nashville, Tennessee, in country music fame. Bakersfield continues to produce famous country music artists.
Despite its country music fame, Bakersfield has also turned out its fair share of hard rock, most notably Korn, Burning Image and Adema. The Christian community can also enjoy national performing Gospel artists, such as Flicker Records recording artist Royal Ruckus and Southern Gospel artist The Lighthouse Boys. Because of this the city's nickname is "California's Country Music Capital."
Tolstoy ... (Referenced by Veronica to the student looking for a book.)
Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy, or Leo Tolstoy, as most would know him as, was born September 9, 1828 and died November 20, 1910. He was a Russian novelist, philosopher, Christian anarchist, pacifist and educational reformer. Tolstoy is widely regarded as one of the greatest of all novelists, particularly noted for his masterpieces War and Peace and Anna Karenina; in their scope, breadth and realistic depiction of Russian life, the two books stand at the peak of realistic fiction.
To find out everything you ever wanted to know about Leo Tolstoy, visit http://www.ltolstoy.com/. It is filled with his words, his history and the beauty of his life.
Turgenev ... (Referenced by Veronica to the student looking for a book.)
Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (November 9, 1818 September 3, 1883) was a major Russian novelist and playwright. His novel Fathers and Sons is regarded as a defining work of 19th-century fiction and is his most famous work. This novel had, as major themes, an examination of how fathers and sons war, a focus on how class struggle influences history, and most especially the idea of nihilism as a philosophy. Turgenev didnt invent the concept, but was the first writer to explore it. "A nihilist is a man who does not bow to any authorities, who does not take any principle on trust, no matter with what respect that principle is surrounded." (from Fathers and Sons, 1862)
Nihilism is the belief that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. It is often associated with extreme pessimism and a radical skepticism that condemns existence. A true nihilist would believe in nothing, have no loyalties, and no purpose other than, perhaps, an impulse to destroy.
Turgenev was not only a novelist, but also a poet, and playwright who was known for his detailed descriptions about the everyday live in Russia in the 19th century. Turgenev portrayed realistically the peasantry and the rising intelligentsia in its attempt to move the country into a new age. Although Turgenev has been overshadowed by his contemporaries Fyodor Dostoevsky and Leo Tolstoy, he remains one of the major figures of the 19th-century Russian literature.
The Spy Who Loved Me ... (Referenced by Dick to Veronica about clearing his fraternity.)
Published in 1962, The Spy Who Loved Me is the tenth novel in author Ian Fleming's James Bond series. Something of a departure from the rest of the series, in its brevity, sexual explicitness and limited focus on the British secret service agent, the book was poorly received by both fans and critics. The story is told in the first-person narrative by "Vivienne Michel" (who was given "co-author" credit), a young Canadian woman whose disastrous love affairs lead her on a journey through America. Eventually, she lands a job running a motel in the Adirondack Mountains. About two-thirds of the way into the book, Bond makes his first appearance in the story and gets entangled with Vivienne's troubles with some dangerous mobsters.
A condensed version of The Spy Who Loved Me was later published in Stag magazine under the title "Motel Nymph." It was also the last Ian Fleming story to be adapted as a daily comic strip for the British Daily Express, although changes were made to replace Vivienne's story with more adventures for James Bond.


Ian Fleming eventually sold the film rights to the novel, but on the condition that only the title, and not any of the story, would be used. The Spy Who Loved Me, directed by Lewis Gilbert, was released in 1977 as the tenth film in the series and the third film starring Roger Moore as Commander James Bond. The film's pre-production was a troubled one. Long-time producer Harry Saltzman was forced to back out due to financial difficulties; the film's first director, Guy Hamilton, left to direct Superman: The Movie; the script went through several rewrites; and the original villain, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, had to be changed due to an injunction filed by the owner of the film rights to Thunderball. Eventually, the script was completed by Christopher Wood, who would go on to write the first James Bond film novelization, James Bond, The Spy Who Loved Me.
In the film, James Bond is forced to team up with one of his Soviet counterparts, Major Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach), aka Agent Triple X. They are on a mission to prevent World War III from being started by the villainous Karl Stromberg (Curd Jrgens), who has stolen British and Soviet submarines armed with ballistic missiles. Although the film was, as stipulated by Fleming, completely different from his novel, one minor yet memorable element did make its way into the film. The steel capped teeth of the assassin giant Jaws (Richard Kiel) were also a feature of one of the novel's villains, Sol Horror. Jaws later reappeared in the Bond film, Moonraker.
Budgeted at only $14 million, the film made $185.4 million dollars worldwide. The hit title song, "Nobody Does It Better," was performed by Carly Simon and was listed as #67 on the American Film Institute's 100 Years...100 Songs list of the top movie songs of all time.
Belly of the Beast ... (Referenced during a Veronica voiceover about getting into fraternity.)
The phrase "The Belly of the Beast" is first recorded in 1614 by Ben Jonson, an English Renaissance dramatist, poet and actor, in his play Bartholomew Fair, wherein he wrote:
The latest pop culture reference to the phrase is the 2003 action movie, Belly of the Beast starring Steven Seagal about an ex-CIA agent on a quest to find his kidnapped daughter.
I Love Lucy ... (Referenced by Keith to Harmony about her disguise.)
I Love Lucy, a CBS television sitcom that aired in the 1950's, was the most popular American sitcom of its generation and is still considered by viewers and experts alike to be one of the greatest television series of all time. It starred comedienne Lucille Ball, her actor/orchestra leader husband Desi Arnaz, stage actress Vivian Vance and movie character actor William Frawley. The series ran from October 15, 1951 to May 6, 1957 on CBS, airing a total of one hundred and eighty episodes, including the "lost" Christmas episode.

Set in New York City, I Love Lucy is centered around Lucy Ricardo (Ball), a housewife, her husband Ricky Ricardo (Arnaz), who is a singer and bandleader, and their friends and landlords Fred and Ethel Mertz (Frawley and Vance). Lucy Ricardo is a loving if somewhat nave housewife with an ambitious character who has a knack for getting herself into trouble due to her obsession with joining her husband in show business. Fred and Ethel are themselves former vaudevillians, which strengthens Lucy's resolve to prove herself as a performer. Although Lucy clearly lacks any form of artistic or managerial talent, she is determined to show everyone around her that she is much more than an ordinary housewife.
A typical I Love Lucy episode involves one of Lucy's ambitious but hare-brained schemes. She usually ends up in some comedic mess, often dragging in Ethel as her reluctant companion. The episode that Keith was likely referring to in his comment to Harmony was "LA At Last" where Lucy accidentally causes a waiter at The Brown Derby to heave a pie in William Holden's face. Later at the hotel, Ricky surprises Lucy by bringing one of her favorite actors to meet her -- William Holden. Fearing he would recognize her, she puts on a poor disguise that includes a putty nose which she inadvertently sets on fire while trying to light a cigarette.
This show was ranked #2 on TV Guide's top 50 greatest shows of all time in 2002, behind Seinfeld and ahead of The Honeymooners. Episodes of I Love Lucy are still syndicated on television in dozens of languages across the world. Over the six years the show aired, it was nominated for over twenty Emmy awards both for the show itself, the writing and cast performances. It won a total of five Emmy awards. Notably, Desi Arnaz was the only main cast member to never receive a nomination.
Champagne and Caviar Dreams / Robin Leach ... (Referenced by Keith to Veronica about Logan's spending.)
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous was a television series that ran from 1984 to 1995. It featured the extravagant lifestyles of wealthy entertainers, athletes, and business moguls. Hosted by Robin Leach alone until 1994, Shari Belafonte joined him in 1994, and the show was renamed Lifestyles with Robin Leach and Shari Belafonte.
The buzz created by the show when it first appeared was so loud that Leach became a mini-celebrity on his own and his catchphrase about the rich and famous that closed the show was repeated and parodied everywhere. That phrase was of course was Leach's wish that his audience would have "champagne wishes and caviar dreams." In fact, the line itself is now practically synonymous with fabulously wealthy people. Its entry into pop culture lexicon inspired the producers to commission a new theme song in 1988 (performed by Dionne Warwick), titled ... what else ... "Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams."
Foosball Table ... (Referenced by Veronica to Keith about Logan's mock spending.)
Table football (also called foosball) is a table-top game based on football (soccer). The name "foosball" comes from Fuball, the German word for "football." The origins of the game itself are unclear, although several have claimed the "honor" of inventing the sport. There has yet been any irrefutable evidence to back up any claim to an exact time and place when foosball first came to be. A foosball table looks like this:

To play the game, the ball is served through a hole at the side of the table or simply placed by hand at the feet of a figure in the middle of the table. Players attempt to use figures mounted on rotating bars to kick the ball into the opponent's goal. A ball may travel at speeds up to forty miles per hour in competition. The sport/game/simulation requires quick reflexes with a delicate touch using the player's fine tuned motor skills, control and knowledge. (Just ask Chandler and Joey. More on that later.) The basics include 'passing' the ball, where you have the ball in your possession with one bar, and pass it to another bar, and 'shooting,' where you find a hole in the defense and attempt to score. The winner is determined when one team scores a predetermined number of goals. A two-goal victory is most often required. In competition, every ball that enters the goal is counted, unless the player or players on the scoring team broke a rule during the play. Large events have referees that determine the infractions and penalties. Yes, foosball has events and referees.
In fact, foosball is also played in official competitions organized by a number of national organizations, with highly evolved rules and regulations. Organized competition can be traced back to the 1940's and 50's in Europe. But the professional tours and bigtime money events began when the founding father of modern professional table soccer, Lee Peppard of Seattle, Washington, United States announced a "quarter million dollar tour" in 1975. Of course, foosball is often played for fun in pubs, bars, workplaces, schools, and clubs with few rules as well. (Or neato-keen apartments in New York City. Ask Chandler and Joey.)
On the popular sitcom, Friends one of the running gags throughout the series is the foosball table owned by Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani (Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc). The show featured a Dynamo table in earlier seasons and later a Tornado (Valley) brand table, the latter which is the standard competition table on the pro circuit in the United States. The stars of the show were also reported to play the game frequently. The foosball table is originally purchased in the twelfth episode of season one (The One With The Dozen Lasagnas) when Joey and Chandler purchase it instead of a kitchen table, and Monica beats the boys at the game. It is stolen in season four, episode two and another (The Tornado with green playfield, black & yellow men, and marbled sides) is purchased by Chandler in season four, episode seven. The table was destroyed by Monica in the series finale, season ten, episode eighteen, The Last One, in order to rescue two pet fowl, Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., who were lost in the table by Joey.
Traffic Court ... (Referenced by Keith to Veronica about where he's going all snazzied up.)
Traffic court refers to a municipality's specialized judicial process for handling traffic ticket or traffic citation cases. In the U.S., a person who is given a citation by a police officer can either plead guilty and pay the indicated fine directly to the court house. If the person wishes to plead not guilty or to contest the charges, he or she is required to appear in court on the predetermined date on the citation, where they may make their case to the judge, or negotiate with the prosecutor before they are called to appear in front of the judge.
More serious charges, such as DUI (driving under the influence) or DWI (driving while intoxicated), or other instances wherein the vehicular incident may be responsible for injuries to another, may require the person to appear in court regardless of their plea. Some municipalities process guilty pleas of this nature outside of the presence of an actual judge, whereas others may require them to appear in court. Often these charges are handled by the larger criminal court.
Each state handles traffic matters in its own way. In most of New York State, for example, traffic matters are heard in the court for the city, town, or village where the alleged violation happened. The town and village courts are known as Justice Courts and each municipality has its own way of doing things. New York City traffic matters (and a few other locations) are heard in a special court called Traffic Violations Bureau, with a very different process.
California tickets are handled in Superior Court, which I suppose would explain the extra fanciness and splash of cologne that Keith was sporting on the day in question. But really -- he had to know how lame that lie sounded the moment he said it.
Yale ... (Referenced when Harmony guesses Carly went to college there.)
Yale University is a private university in New Haven, Connecticut. Founded in 1701 as the Collegiate School, Yale is the third-oldest institution of higher education in the United States and a member of the Ivy League. Yale's 70 undergraduate majors are primarily focused on a liberal curriculum, and few of the undergraduate departments are pre-professional in nature (even the engineering departments encourage and require students to explore academic disciplines outside of engineering). Yale and Harvard have for most of their history been rivals in almost everything, notably academics, rowing and football.
Yale president Richard C. Levin summarized the university's institutional priorities for its fourth century: "First, among the nation's finest research universities, Yale is distinctively committed to excellence in undergraduate education. Second, in our graduate and professional schools, as well as in Yale College, we are committed to the education of leaders."
Brown ... (Referenced when Keith tells Harmony that Carly went to college here.)
Brown University is a private university and a member of the Ivy League located in Providence, Rhode Island. Founded in 1764 as Rhode Island College, it is the third-oldest institution of higher education in New England and the seventh-oldest in the United States.

The Brown University Coat of Arms.
Brown was the Baptist answer to Congregationalist Yale and Harvard, Presbyterian Princeton, and Episcopalian Penn and Columbia. At the time, it was the only one that welcomed students of all religious persuasions following the example of Roger Williams, who founded Rhode Island in 1636 on the same principle. Brown has long since shed its Baptist affiliation, but remains dedicated to diversity and intellectual freedom. Brown's motto is In Deo Speramus, which means "In God we Hope." It boasts a $2.3 billion endowment, and has a student to faculty ratio of 9:1.
Brown has the oldest undergraduate engineering program in the Ivy League (1847), the only undergraduate Egyptology department in the United States, and, until recently, the only History of Mathematics department in the world. Brown was also one of the first institutions to emphasize computer science, as well as media studies, with its department of Modern Culture and Media, where students study film production, film criticism, and critical theory.
The Brown "New Curriculum," instituted in 1969, eliminates distribution requirements and mandatory A/B/C grade, allowing any course to be taken on a "satisfactory/no credit" basis. Moreover, there are no pluses (+) or minuses (-) in the grading system. Admission to Brown is extremely competitive, with an overall admissions rate of 13.8%, although the acceptance rate of the Class of 2010 was 12.6%, making it one of the lowest in the nation and the lowest in Brown's history. More than one-third of the members of the Class of 2010 scored above 750 on the verbal or math sections of the SAT I: Reasoning Test, and approximately fifteen percent of the students in the Class of 2010 graduated number one or number two in their high school classes. I'd say it's a wee bit harder to get into than say, Hearst.
Since 2001, Brown's current and 18th president is Ruth J. Simmons, the first African American president, and second female president, of an Ivy League institution, as well as the first permanent female president of Brown. Props to Brown for being so progressive!
Baywatch ... (Referenced by the pinball game that Charleston was playing.)
Baywatch was a popular U.S. television series that focused on L.A. County lifeguards who patrol the crowded L.A. County beaches in California. The series premiered on NBC in 1989, but was cancelled after only one season because of the high cost of producing it and low ratings. Feeling the series still had potential, David Hasselhoff (of Knight Rider fame) revived it for the first-run syndication market in 1991, investing his own money and additionally functioning as executive producer. The show was hugely successful, especially internationally. The show led to a spin-off: Baywatch Nights and a reunion movie, Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding. In Season ten, the location of the show was changed to Hawaii and the show's name was changed to Baywatch Hawaii. The show ran for a total of eleven seasons between 1989 and 2001.
The original Baywatch cast line-up.
The show starred Hasselhoff as Mitch Buchannon, who was the only mainstay on the show (save Michael Newman) for ten of the eleven seasons. Baywatch was centered around the work of a team of lifeguards and their interpersonal relationships, with plots usually centering on dangers related to beach and other activities pertinent to the beach lifestyle. Everything from earthquakes to shark attacks to serial killers served as plot conflicts on the show. Saving people from drowning tended to be one of the most typical situations used in the shows. Thus a trademark of the show was slow motion shots of the attractive lifeguards running in their fire engine red swimsuits. Not surprisingly, most of these shots featured the hot female lifeguards with large breasts such as Pamela Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth, Carmen Electra and Donna D'Errico to name a few.
And now for the really scary part: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Baywatch is the most watched TV show in the world with over 1.1 billion viewers. If that isn't a sign of the impending apocalypse, I don't know what is.

The Baywatch pinball machine was created by SEGA in 1995 and now retails for approximately $1,880. Wow.
Charleston Chew (Chu) ... (Referenced by Charleston's nickname.)
First sold by the Fox-Cross Candy Company in 1922, the Charleston Chew is a chocolate-covered vanilla nougat candy bar named after the popular 1920's dance, the Charleston. In 1957, the company was purchased by Nathan Sloan. Twenty years later, bars with chocolate and strawberry flavored nougat became available in addition to the original vanilla. Like with many other candy bars, it's not uncommon to eat a Charleston Chew after it's been frozen, making the nougat hard and crunchy. The candy can also now be bought in bags of Mini Chews. Since 1993, Tootsie Roll Industries has been the maker of Charleston Chews.

Duke/Lacrosse Rape ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston to get him to spill.)
Duke is a research university in Durham, North Carolina. It is ranked among the worlds best universities and their athletic program is one of the nations elite.
A party on March 13, 2006 led to a controversial case involving Dukes lacrosse team. A student from North Carolina Central University came forward claiming she was raped by three of the players in the bathroom during the party. The victim was an exotic dancer hired by the team, and the three players involved, David Evans, Reade Seligmann, and Collin Finnerty, were indicted on charges of rape, kidnapping, and sexual offense.

Left to Right: Evans, Seligmann, & Finnerty
All three players pleaded innocent, and will face up to 30 years prison time if found guilty in the appelate court. Evans, the 23-year-old team captain was convicted in May on all charges. He subsequently released a statement maintaining his innocence, saying that he was cooperative with the police throughout the whole process, and that while the police refused to allow him to take a polygraph test, his lawyers arranged for him to take one anyway, which he passed. A second exotic dancer at the party and the district attorneys main witness just recently (Oct. 13) recanted on her statement in an interview with 60 Minutes, saying that the victim "obviously wasnt hurt, because, you know, she was fine."
Perp Walk ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston to get him to spill.
The perp (short for perpetrator) walk is a very public arrest, or parading an arrested suspect through a slew of media reporters. This practice is unique to the United States, as most other countries will attempt to protect the identity of the arrested suspects. Perp walks have been criticized for being staged and the 2000 case Lauro v. Charles ruled that staged perp walks were a violation of the suspect's Fourth Amendment* rights.
* The Fourth Amendment of the United States Constitution: 'The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.'
Stairmaster ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston guessing about why Chip was sweaty and breathing heavily.)
Stairmaster is a line of exercise machines owned by Nautilus, Inc. The first designs released in 1983 were stepping machines and revolving stairs, but modern models are elliptical trainers which are easier on the knees. The machines offer a non-impact cardiovascular work-out, designed to stimulate the heart rate more than build muscles, though the more popular machines are designed to build strength in both leg and arm muscles.
In Flagrante ... (Referenced by what Veronica filled in that Chip was doing when he opened the door all sweaty and breathing heavily.)
In flagrante delicto or sometimes simply in flagrante (see Veronica) means "while the crime is blazing" in Latin. It is a legal term that is used to indicate that a criminal has been caught in the act of committing an offense. The colloquial "caught red-handed" or "caught in the act" are English equivalents. But it makes you sound smarter if you say it in Latin ... or makes others (see Charleston) think you (veronica) are stupid if they are unfamiliar with the phrase. Fear not, Veronica, you really are smarter than him.
In general, the Latin term has come to be used far more often as a euphemism for a couple being caught in the act of sexual congress, ie: in the middle of sex ala Charleston. In modern usage the sex need have nothing to do with adultery or be of an illicit nature. All you need is interruptus of the coitus and in flagrante you be.
They're Here / Poltergeist ... (Referenced by Dick to Veronica about the protesters.)
Welcome to Cuesta Verdes Estates -- a Southern California suburb where dreams come true. Unfortunately, for the Freeling family, the dreams coming true are more like nightmares of scary clown dolls, trees hungry for little boys and a swimming pool full of -- well, let's not spoil that. In the 1982 horror film Poltergeist, Steven Freeling (Craig T. Nelson) makes a living selling homes in the neighborhood where he lives with his wife Diane (JoBeth Williams) and their three children, Dana (Dominique Dunne), Robbie (Oliver Robins) and Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke). Everything is swimmingly normal, until a supernatural presence disrupts their lives. The paranormal activities start off as minor curiosities, but then develop into a terrifying poltergeist nightmare that leads the family to call in some parapsychology experts, including diminutive spiritual medium Tangina (Zelda Rubinstein), to cleanse the house and restore peace to their family.
In a scene that was prominently featured in the film's trailers, little Carol Anne sits down in front of the television one night, only to be contacted by a ghostly presence that seems to come straight out of the TV's snowy after-hours picture. After the presence shoots through the wall behind the parents' bed, causing what on the surface appears to be an earthquake, Carol Anne says what would become one of the most famous taglines of the film: "They're here." In fact, the American Film Institute placed this at #69 on their 100 Years 100 Movie Quotes list.

Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke) makes first contact, then announces to her family that: "They're here."
Poltergeist was directed by Tobe Hooper and co-written and produced by Steven Spielberg. It earned $76.6 million in its domestic release. Although the film was originally rated 'R' by the MPAA, an appeal resulted in the film receiving a 'PG' rating. Due in part to concern over some of the intensity of certain scenes in this film -- along with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) and Gremlins (1984) -- a new PG-13 rating was established. The film's success led to the inevitable sequels: Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986) and Poltergeist III (1988).
Chart House ... (Referenced by Veronica to Harmony about the lobster incident.
Chart House Restaurants is a chain founded in 1961 owned by Laundry's with twenty-four locations across the United States. They serve seafood, steaks and other menu items catered to the local cuisine. The restaurants are usually on waterfront locations, so with few exceptions, they are located along the coastlines of California, Florida, and the New England states.
Thai Massage ... (Referenced by Logan to Veronica when he brings food to the office.
The traditional Thai massage focuses on stretching and loosening the body using the principles of Yoga, Shiatsu and Acupressure. The person being massaged lies on a mat or firm mattress on the floor, while the massage therapist leans on the body, applying firm and rhythmic pressure to all parts of the body with their hands and forearms. Sometimes legs and feet are also used to give the massage. The massage includes deep pressure compression, stretching, pulling and bending.
Beast with Two Backs ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston's girlfriend about what she was doing with Chip.)
A British saying referring to partners engaged in sexual intercourse. Many believe it comes from Shakespeares Othello, 1604:
Pixie (Spy) Magic ... (Referenced by Dick to Veronica on solving the case; later Veronica to the Frats after clearing the frats.)
Pixies are mysterious mythical creatures of English folklore. They are sometimes called piskies or 'the little people.' There are several different mythologies of their origin. One myth says that pixies were people not good enough for Heaven or bad enough for Hell, so they were live on Earth forever. Another story is that they were Druids who were condemned by God to grow smaller and smaller until they accepted Christianity.
Pixies take immense pleasuring in playing tricks on people, and the very best way to ward off these pesky creatures is by arming oneself with an iron object. (The metal is said to weaken their powers.)

A tire iron should do the trick, I think.
The most notorious pixie is Tinkerbell, Peter Pan's vindictive partner-in-crime. While pixies generally don't take orders, Tinkerbell would sometimes share her magic on Peter's command, but only because she was in love with the jerk. Tink's magic pixie dust, which had the ability to make things fly, is the inspiration for the powdered candy Pixy Stix. There's also a band named after the creatures, The Pixies, whose song Where is My Mind? plays over the final scene of Driver Ed.
Archie, Peyton & Eli Manning ... (Referenced by Veronica's voiceover when she's considering if Dick could be a rapist like his brother.)
Archie Manning is a former quarterback in the NFL (National Football League). After completing his college career at Ole Miss, he was drafted by the New Orleans Saints, where he spent the bulk of his career from 1971 to 1982. After leaving the Saints he spent one year with the Houston Oilers and then the final year of his career with the Minnesota Vikings. Archie and his wife, Olivia, have three sons, Cooper, Peyton (born March 24, 1976), and Eli (born January 3, 1981). Cooper played as a receiver in high school with his brother Peyton, but was forced to end his career after being diagnosed with spinal stenosis, a congenital condition.
Peyton Manning excelled in high school as a quarterback and went on to college at the University of Tennessee where he was the starting quarter back for all four years, compiling an overall record of 39-6 and 3-1 in bowl games. He holds the school record in passing yards, completions, and touchdowns. His senior year Peyton finished second in the voting for the Heisman Trophy and received a number of other awards, including the the Johnny Unitas award for the nation's top quarterback. He was selected first in the 1998 NFL draft by the Indianapolis Colts, where he has started every game of his career. Peyton has compiled impressive statistics with the Colts and is a top NFL quarterback, considered by many to be the best in the NFL and a likely future Hall of Famer.
As a quarterback, Peyton is considered a pure pocket passer, with a great arm and near-perfect mechanics. He is also known for his frantic hand gestures and shouting at the line of scrimmage before plays. Critics say that Peyton is unable to win the big games. The Colts are 3-6 in the playoffs behind Peyton, and they have yet to reach a Superbowl. Peyton holds a number of NFL records. He was named the AP NFL Most Valuable Player in 2003 (with Steve McNair), the AP NFL Offensive player of the year in 2005, and the MVP again the same year.
Eli Manning, like his brother, was one of the nation's top quarterbacks in high school, and followed in his father's footsteps to play at Ole Miss. After red-shirting his freshman year and watching as the backup his sophomore year, Eli started for the Rebels for three years starting in 2001. His first two years, despite strong performances by him, Ole Miss compiled a mediocre record of 13-10 and a bowl win against Nebraska in 2002. Eli was considered a top NFL prospect but elected to stay at Ole Miss for his final year of playing eligibility.
In 2003 he led the team to a 10-3 record and a win over Oklahoma State in the Cotton Bowl, marking Ole Miss's best season in 13 years. Eli earned a number of honors that year, including the Johnny Unitas award for top quarterback, and set or tied 47 school records while at Ole Miss. At the 2004 NFL draft, Eli was selected first overall by the San Diego Chargers but was traded later that day to the New York Giants after Eli and his father had previously made known that Eli would not play for the Chargers. During his rookie year in 2004, Eli spent the first half on the bench watching veteran starting QB Kurt Warner. After a couple of poor performances by Warner, coach Tom Coughlin decided to give Eli a shot. Despite some struggles, he finished out the season as the starter, posting three consecutive strong performances at the end of the season. Eli started all of the 2005 season, leading the Giants to a division win with a record of 11-5 and a playoff appearance, losing in the first round.
On September 10th, 2006, Peyton and Eli became the first brothers in NFL history to face each other in a game, when Eli's Giants hosted Peyton's Colts. In what was dubbed The Manning Bowl, big bro came out on top, leading his Colts to a 26-21 victory of little brother's Giants.
The entire Manning family can be seen in an amusing ESPN SportsCenter commercial which can be seen here.

Left to right: Peyton, Archie and Eli Manning.
Rabbit Hole ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan about finding the source of the money loss.)
The saying "down the rabbit hole" comes from the popular children's book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll, the pseudonym of Charles Dodgson. The book was first published in 1865 with illustrations by John Tenniel and has not been out of print since. It has been translated into over fifty languages, and there have not only been more than one hundred editions of the book itself, but countless adaptations in theater, film, and other media, the most famous of which is the 1951 Disney animated film Alice in Wonderland.
Dodgson later wrote a sequel, Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There. The first book was inspired by stories Dodgson told to Alice Pleasance Liddell and her two sisters, Lorina and Edith. Through the Looking-Glass was borne after Dodgson met another Alice, Alice Raikes, with whom he talked about her reflection in a mirror.
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland follow the adventures of a young girl named Alice, who is bored one day and follows a white rabbit in a waistcoat, falling down the rabbit-hole to a fantasy world filled with curious creatures. Among those she meets are the Cheshire Cat, the Mock Turtle, the Hatter, Queen of Hearts, and more. She eventually wakes back up with her sister.
"Down the Rabbit-Hole" is the title of Chapter 1, and the phrase has become a popular saying meaning going into an unknown adventure.

Google(d) ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan about looking of Charlie Stone.)
Google is a search engine owned by Google, Inc. whose mission statement is to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful." Google receives over 200 million queries a day. The name "Google" is derived from a play on the word "googol", which refers to the number represented by 1 followed by one hundred zeroes. Google's headquarters, located in California, are referred to as "the Googleplex."
Google began as a research project in January, 1996 by Larry Page and Sergey Brin, two students at Stanford University. The term "to google" has come to be used as a verb synonymous with "to search for something on the internet," though Google officials discourage the use of this phrase for fear that it will lead to trademark dilution.
Similar to the Search Engine Olympics Veronica took part in Donut Run, there are several games that can be played with Google. In "Gwigle," participants learn advanced Google search tricks as they go through the puzzles. In "Googlewhack," you attempt to find two words that produce exactly one search result. (Examples: "dork turnspit", "unconstructive superegos", "bibliophilic sandwiched", "dripstone ingles") "Googlefight" pits two keywords against each other to find which one has more results. In "Guess the Google," the objective is to guess which search term resulted in the displayed images.
In addition to its webpage search engine, Google also provides services for searching images, Usenet newsgroups, news websites, videos, searching by locality, maps, and items for sale online. The company is so popular that the name is used in the form of a verb ("googled") which means you looked that person up online.
San Juan Capistrano ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan about where Charlie teaches.)
Located in Orange County, California, this city was named after the Mission San Juan Capistrano, the seventh and "Jewel" of the twenty one Spanish Missions built in California by Franciscan Padres. San Juan Capistrano was first founded by Father Fermin Lasuen, in 1775. Eight days later, he and his party received news of an impending Indian attack, and they were forced to bury the mission bells and return to San Diego. A year later, Father Junipero Serra returned with another party of missionaries. They recovered the bells and built the first chapel there that still stands and is in use today. Known as Father Serra's Church, it is believed to be the oldest church in California.
Over time, the community grew with the arrival of the railroad in 1881, the San Diego Freeway in 1958, and city incorporation in 1961. The city adopted a General Plan in 1974 to emphasize their town's village-like character, setting aside a minimum of 30% of the city as open space. Today, with a population of over 36,000, nearly 40% of the city is still devoted to open space and park land.
A popular annual city event is the Swallows Festival, or "Fiesta de las Golondrinas," a two-month long celebration of the return of the migrating Cliff Swallows.
Rat trap ... (Referenced by Nancy to Veronica about what the feminists put on their gropable parts in the Boo room.)
Rat traps are devices used to capture or kill rats, mice or other small rodents. Traditional rat traps, or snap traps, have a wood base with wire spring-snap. They work best when baited and can kill a mouse or rat instantly. I had a physics project in highschool where we had to design a rat trap-powered car, and I can say from experience that - while it definitely hurts a LOT - a standard sized rat trap wouldn't leave those kinds of bruises on the frat guys' hands. So Nancy and Claire must have used some massive traps. Well, good for them.

Rat traps: now available in Standard and "We Mean Business!" sizes
New rat trap designs have been developed over the years. Electronic rat 'traps' give off a high frequency sound that drives rodents away, and live-catch traps will capture the rats so they can be released back outside. The least humane rat trap is a glue trap, the least expensive. A captured rat will struggle to escape the sticky sheet, sometimes causing it to have a heart attack or go into shock.
Stallone ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie to Logan about the Thought Police movie he saw Aaron in.)
Sylvester "Sly" Stallone (born 6th July 1946) is probably most comfortable under the title "action film star" rather than "actor." He is most famous for mumbling lines (it's not just you, Jason) and flexing his muscles while playing the characters: Rambo and Rocky.


His abs of steel are most often compared to Arnold Schwarzennegger's flexing pectorals because of their similar star quality. In fact, both actors starred in films that played with the comparison: Stallone says "I loved you in Conan The Barbarian" to an ugly thug in Tango and Cash (1989); Arnold Schwarzenneger, playing himself in Last Action Hero, reacts with horror when he sees a movie poster for Terminator starring Sylvester Stallone.
The film that made Stallone the star he is, was Rocky (1976), which he also wrote (in THREE days). Stallone sold the script on the condition he'd star in it, but since he wasn't a star at the time, the studio actually tried to bribe him so they could get Ryan O'Neal to play Rocky instead. Who's that, you ask? Exactly.
The film follows the life of an amateur boxer given the once in a lifetime oppurtunity to box the heavyweight champion. The movie promotes the struggle for achievement rather than the end result; feeling triumphant isn't about winning so much as putting in the effort, giving your all, and throwing everything on the line so that you accomplish something in the end even if you lose. The most memorable scene in the film has Rocky running up the steps of a museum to Bill Conti's score Gonna Fly Now. The scene is such an iconic moment in film history that it's hard to hear the song without picturing Stallone, in the same way it's hard to hear Staying Alive without picturing John Travolta.
Rocky is an iconic feel-good film about human struggle and the American Film Institute voted it the fourth most inspiring film of all time, as broadcast in a three hour CBS special. The only films placed ahead of it were cinematic greats It's A Wonderful Life, Schindler's List and To Kill a Mockingbird. On the surface, it seems really out of place. However, for anyone who's watched the film, it does (surprisingly enough) fit right in (just ignore the sequels).
Success in Hollywood leads to formula and once Stallone had created an iconic character, Hollywood proceeded to milk it for all it was worth. The fifth Rocky movie was filmed in 1990 and just when we thought they'd finally realized what too much of a good thing is, Rocky Balboa was completed in 2006. Stallone was sixty years old. I sometimes wonder if the final film will have Stallone breaking his hip and tumbling down the museum steps as Gonna Fly Now plays. Huh, nice irony.
But Stallone didn't have just one iconic character; the other is of course Rambo, who appeared in First Blood and three sequels, not including Rambo IV: In The Serpent's Eye which is lined up to start filming in 2008. But you know Rambo's iconic status wasn't quite achieved until another action hero gave him a nod:

"Rambooooo!"
Hee. Gizmo in Gremlins 2: The New Batch
It's telling that Logan Echolls and Fake-Charlie discuss Aaron Echolls starring alongside Stallone, because Aaron was also more of an action star than an actor's actor. Though, if it came down to a mind wrestle between the actors, I'm not sure Sly Stallone could live up to the potential of his nickname; is anyone more wily than Aaron Echolls? It would have been nice to see Rocky kick Aaron's ass though; talk about a feel good movie ...
People ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie to Logan about Echolls' affairs on the cover.)
People is a weekly magazine that generally features celebrities on the cover, but occasionally also highlights non-celebs in newsworthy situations. Often jokingly referred to as the glossy-pages version of a tabloid, the magazine has managed to stay a step above the term by covering their subjects (even in the more salacious moments) with a touch of class. The magazine is published by Time, Inc., and was actually inspired by Time magazine's people page.
Nicole Richie ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie to Logan about who Trina shot with a BB gun.)
The adopted daughter of Lionel and Brenda Richie, Nicole Camille Escovedo Richie (born September 21, 1981) is an American socialite, author, actress, and singer who primarily came to fame through her friendship with her former/now reunited best friend, Paris Hilton. Starring opposite Hilton in the Fox reality show, Simple Life in 2003, the two did a real-life version of a reverse Beverly Hillbillies. While the show showcased everything about Hilton that the public already expected, Richie was shown to have a charm (crass though it may be), manners (to a degree) and a contagious love of life.
A party-girl along with Hilton, Richie was found in clubs, drinking, drugging and partying, but after a stint in rehab, she made a change of her life. Adding a touch of glam-class to her image, she stopped partying, hooked up with Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein (the two were together for two years and were even engaged to marry) before ending things earlier this year. The change in Richie brought an end to her lifelong friendship with Hilton and the two took potshots (with Hilton, by far, being the ringleader) at each other in the press. Meanwhile their show, The Simple Life was quietly cancelled by Fox after its third season, but a month later, it was picked up by E! Entertainment Television. Due to their enmity, the last couple of seasons featured the two women separately. However, October 9, 2005 saw the two patch their friendship and Richie has announced recently that she is fully pursuing a music career like her father. (To hear a track that Richie recorded a year ago, click here. I admit that I actually kinda love it.)
It was just announced that Richie is putting work on the new season of The Simple Life -- which would have featured Richie and Hilton appearing together again -- on hold to check herself into a undisclosed private facility, where according to her publicist, she is going "to undergo diagnostic treatment to determine why she's not been putting on any weight." Ah, her weight. There has been much debate and discussion over Richie's super-skinny form that has had many crying anorexia. Richie claims she eats, is not doing drugs and is unaware why she's unable to gain weight. This is the first time since publicity about her weight first arose that Richie has chosen to take steps to find out if there is a problem.
Jay Leno ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie about the Trina/Nicole incident used in a monologue the following night.)
Most everyone knows Jay Leno as the host of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, which airs on NBC every weekday at 11:35 PM. Leno became the host of The Tonight Show after Johnny Carson retired that same year. The show began its fifteenth season in May 2006. Leno announced in 2004 that he would be retiring as host in 2009, and Conan O'Brien, host of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, is already set to replace his time slot.
Leno grew up in Andover, Massachusetts and attended Emerson College, where he studied speech therapy. He got his career started performing stand-up comedy in various clubs and bars. Before becoming a television host, he appeared numerous times on Carson's show. Leno has also written several children's books, as well as an autobiography titled Leading with My Chin (the title referencing his rather notable chin-size). He's made appearances on a number of sitcoms and has recently done voice acting for animated films.
He is also an avid collector of antique cars and motorcycles. In fact, when Kristen Bell was a guest on the show in December 2005, the two discussed his love of automobiles.

Zuma Beach ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie/Norman to Logan and Veronica about surfing.
Zuma Beach, with its clean water and white sand, is located nineteen miles west of Malibu on the Pacific Coast Highway. The beach itself faces south, and attracts many visitors on the weekends over the summer, but tends to be quiet during the week. A bit further north than other area beaches, the water is a bit colder. Amenities at Zuma Beach include restrooms, showers and changing facilities, swing sets, and a snack bar. Activities available at Zuma Beach include walking along the beachside boardwalk walking path, swimming (lifeguard on duty during daylight hours), volleyball, fishing, and even whale-watching in the winter. In addition, Zuma Beach is considered by some to be the top surfing spot in the Los Angeles area, but some consider it more suited for boogie-boarding and body surfing.

Cheese Knife ... (Referenced by Logan to Fake Charlie/Norman about how Lynn stopped Aaron from choking Logan.)
A cheese knife is simply a tool that is designed to cut through cheeses. Cheese knives have thick handles and blades that are generally more rectangular-shaped than typical kitchen knives. For softer cheeses, a blade with holes is better because the cheese sticks to the blade less. Harder cheeses require a sharper blade, and the tip is often forked so that the knife can double as a serving utensil.
And would you believe it? They're also the perfect tool for threatening your moviestar husband's life with.

Vanity Fair ... (Referenced as the magazine Fake Charlie/Norman works for.)
Vanity Fair is an American magazine published by Conde Nast Publications that covers culture, fashion, and politics. The magazine was released as Dress and Vanity Fair in 1913, and relaunched in 1914 as Vanity Fair. Despite critical acclaim, the magazine was forced to merge with Vogue in 1936 after commercial failure brought on by the Great Depression. The magazine began publication again in the 1980's under the ownership of Si Newhouse, edited by Tina Brown (1984-1992) and E. Graydon Carter (1992-present).
The magazine boasts several prestigious columnists and photographers, and the cover of the magazine sometimes features glamorous portraits of current celebrities. The magazine's covers have occasionally been the subject of controversy. One of the most famous celebrity covers was the August 1991 cover, which featured a naked and pregnant Demi Moore. (She posed nude again the following year, this time covered only in body paint.)

The March 2006 feature, shot by Annie Leibovitz, featured a nude Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson and fully-clothed Tom Ford, who was standing in for Rachel McAdams after she backed out of the photo shoot. The October 2006 issue, also shot by Annie Leibovitz, hosts the first public pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' newborn daughter.

To be completely fair, I must say though that the likelihood that VF would do the kind of piece that Norman is writing is quite the stretch of the imagination. They have their tawdry moments, but for the most part they are considered the elite celebrity magazine and do their share of featuring politics as well. The kind of low-down scummy crap that Norman calls is not the brand of "journalism" that Vanity Fair puts out.
Harry & David ... (Referenced by Norman/Fake Charlie to Logan about where the fruit basket was from.)
Harry and David was originally founded as Bear Creek Orchards in 1910 by Samuel Rosenberg when he purchased 240 acres of pear orchards in Medford, Oregon. Following his death in 1914, his two sons, Harry and David, took over the business. The specialized in the Comice pear, popular in the luxury hotels and restaurants of Europe. They nicknamed their product the Royal Riviera to set it apart. The Royal Riviera fame grew during the 20s, and the business flourished.
When the Great Depression hit, however, the Royal Riviera market disappeared, and Harry and David struggled with how to find new buyers. They came up with the idea to sell their pears through the mail, and their mail-order business was born. They pitched their pears as business gifts to corporate leaders in San Francisco and New York, and they soon had orders streaming in. In 1938, Harry and David developed the fruit-of-the-month club. Harry and David is one of the oldest catalog mail order companies and are now a premier marketer of high-end gift baskets, food towers, and, with the 1966 acquisition of Jackson & Perkins (the nation's oldest and largest wholesale rose producer), roses and other flowers.
"God is in the details"/Ludwig Mies van der Rohe ... (Referenced by Norman (Fake Charlie) to Logan about getting the details for his story.)
The quote "God is in the details" is attributed to German-born American architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, born March 27, 1886, in Aachen, Germany. Mies is one of the most influential figures in modern architecture and is known for his minimalist style, especially in his steel frame and glass skyscrapers. His first well-known structure was the German Pavilion, built for the Barcelona exposition in 1929. He joined the faculty of the Bauhaus design school and served as the last director of the school before Nazi political pressure forced him to close the school. He grew frustrated with the rejection of his style by the Nazis, and left in 1937. He settled in Chicago, where he became the head of the architecture school at the Armour Institute of Technology. His most famous projects in the United States include the Farnsworth House and Crown Hall in Chicago, and the Seagram Building in New York, which is often considered the height of modern high-rise architecture.
"God is in the details" comes from an article in the June 28, 1959, edition of the New York Herald Tribune, and Mies was speaking about restraint in design. He is also known for the phrase "less is more." These two aphorisms characterize his desire to create open spaces enclosed within a structural order with minimal presence.

The Seagram Building in New York, built 1954.
Bubbles ... (Referenced by Veronica (incorrectly) to Keith when he refers to himself as a monkey.)
Bubbles is the pet chimpanzee (not monkey) that resided with the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, for many years (which is fairly apropos when you consider that the man's life is a circus and he lives in an amusement park). Prior to his rockstar life, Bubbles lived at a cancer research clinic in Texas until 1985 when he relocated to California with Mike. For the following decade he often accompanied Jackson to award ceremonies (wearing matching outfits ... how cute) and was seen widely by the public. Rumored to have his own bodyguard, Bubbles sat in during several recording sessions for Jackson's album Bad.
Over the years Bubbles moved out of the limelight living at the Neverland Ranch. However, in 2003 after Martin Bashir made the infamous Living with Michael Jackson documentary, several outtakes discussed and filmed Bubbles at the ranch living at the residence. Bubbles wore a diaper and used Jackson's private toilet. Since that time, former Neverland Ranch employees have confirmed Bubbles was eventually sent away from the ranch to a care facility after he became violent with increasing age and even bit several people. The New York Daily News recently reported that Bubbles is alive and well and living on an animal ranch in Sylmar, California. The ranch manager, Bob Dunn, said "He's in his twenties, he's doing fine." A younger chimp named "Max" now lives with Michael Jackson. Poor chimp.

Pictured is the life-size ceramic statue "Michael Jackson and Bubbles"
by sculptor Jeff Koons (1988). The piece was sold to an anonymous
buyer for $5,600,000 and is, disturbingly, the most valuable sculpture
by a living artist.
Star Trek/Faceless Crew Members ... (Referenced by Veronica to the nameless Frat boys.)
Star Trek is the short-lived, but long-beloved sci-fi classic created by Gene Roddenberry that ran on NBC from 1966 to 1969 -- the five year mission, as described in the opening credits, cut short by a few years *). Starring William Shatner as the brave and sexy Captain James T (for Tiberius) Kirk, Leonard Nimoy as half-Vulcan, imminently logical Commander Spock and DeForest Kelley as the crotchety, Southern Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, the show presented a hopeful version of the future and was filled with loads of fun, lots of camp and some damn awesome episode titles (City on the Edge of Forever or The World was Hollow and I Touched the Sky anyone?).
The faceless (although, I would have thought she'd go with "nameless" since we could, you know, see their faces) Star Trek crew members that Veronica refers to are actually more commonly known as "Red Shirts," but I understand Veronica's lack of that nickname. Whenever a Redshirt had screen time, it meant they were going to die in that episode. Most of these frats are scum, but they're not dead.
* Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Greek Chorus ... (Referenced during a Veronica voiceover about the feminists standing there when she clears the frats.)
In tragic plays of ancient Greece, the chorus (choros) is believed to have grown out of the Greek dithyrambs and tragikon drama. The chorus offered background and summary information to help the audience follow the performance, commented on main themes and showed how an ideal audience might react to the drama as it was presented. The need for this was paramount since in early tragedy, all parts were played by a single actor. When the actor left to change roles, an empty stage was a no-no even in Greece BC ... here's where the chorus came in. No one likes dead air. It is thought to have featured about fifty singing and dancing members circa 508. Tragedy came to be composed of episodes separated by choral odes. In these odes, the chorus would chant rhythmically, so they could be viewed as one entity rather than individuals. In the second generation of Athenian tragedy, the chorus often had a more substantial role in the narrative.
Aeschylus, (525 BC456 BC) was a playwright of ancient Greece and the earliest of the three greatest Greek tragedians, the others being Sophocles and Euripides. He reduced the chorus to twelve members, but it remained critical to his productions. When the second great Tragedian, Sophocles, came along, he increased the chorus to by three to fifteen members, but he reduced the choral odes to tenuous relation to the drama taking place. The Sophoclean chorus was divided into two sub-choruses of six (hemichoria) and a leader (koryphaios); the number of actors increased from two to three. The leader of the chorus interacted with the characters in the play, and spoke for the general population (the play's public opinion). This change favored the interaction between actors and thus brought ancient Greek tragedy closer to the modern notion of dramatic plot.
Although not used in dramatic work today, the Greek Chorus principle is still employed in comedies such as the musical Little Shop of Horrors and Woody Allen's The Mighty Aphrodite.
The Big Lebowski / "Hey! Careful, man. There's a beverage here!" ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan when merrily he grabs her and almost spills her drink.)
Written and directed by the Coen Brothers (Ethan and Joel), The Big Lebowski stars Jeff Bridges as The Dude. Not quite your normal movie fare, the convoluted plot weaves about eccentric characters as The Dude attempts to replace his urinated-upon carpet. Yes, you read that correctly. This cult classic also stars John Goodman and Julianne Moore. Long-time Coen favorite John Turturro is also featured.
In a scene from the film, the Dude is treated to a limousine ride home, after having met with Maude Lebowski (Moore). Feeling like things are starting to go his way, after a series of mishaps, the Dude gets out of the limo and is immediately attacked by a large guy. As he's grabbed from behind and forced into another limousine belonging to the Big Lebowski, the Dude cries out, "Hey! Careful, man. There's a beverage here!"
On Top of the World Looking Down on Creation ... (Referenced by Logan to Veronica about his mood.)
Recorded by the Carpenters in 1973, "Top of the World" is a fun, peppy love song that celebrates life and love. It was originally intended as just a track on the album A Song For You (released June 13, 1972), but outside factors changed that decision. Country artist Lynn Anderson covered the tune; she took it to the top of the U.S. country singles charts. As well, the reaction at concerts was overwhelming. Wrote Richard Carpenter (who penned the song along with long-time collaborator, lyricist John Bettis) in the notes to Carpenters: The Compact Disc Collection:
Simply put the definition of "third time's the charm" is the belief that the third time something is attempted is more likely to succeed than the previous two attempts. It is also used as a good luck charm -- spoken just before trying something for the third time. The phrase may be a variant on the United Kingdom phrase "third time lucky." It is listed in Alexander Hislop's The Proverbs of Scotland in 1862, but the proverbial description suggests it dates to an earlier time, but there is nothing to confirm when or where it originated. Why is the third time lucky? Some believe it came from the belief that, under English law, anyone who survived three attempts at hanging would be set free. However, the story that fostered this belief is predated by the phrase. Others suggest it relates the Christian holy trinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. However, there is no evidence to support this. Without any clear history, one can conclude that it merely is derived from a long-time belief that despite setbacks, one must persevere and keep on trying.
As for the American variant on the phrase -- which the lovely Logan said -- the earliest recording it of is courtesy of a court reporter for the The Weekly Sentinel when doing the court roster one day in June of 1912 when a Mrs. Martha Carliss, married twice, planned to wed a third time.
- When Logan's standing outside Veronica's door, you can spot someone's shadow walking past a lit window across the complex behind Logan.
- Logan's tone of voice when he says: "Veronica, I won't say anything bad." It's so ... mature and real.
- The amused/adoring look on Logan's face as he watched Veronica and her dad discuss suitable topics.
- Veronica and Keith turning to look at Logan in unison after Veronica approves "hobbies" as a discussion topic.
- The GLARING continuity error regarding Veronica's rape. We already knew she was raped in the fall of 2003 because Lilly was murdered on October 3, 2003 and Veronica's rape took place a few months later and at Shelly Pomroy's end of the year party. In addition, we actually have the exact date because it was time-stamped (December 7, 2003) on the video of Carmen doing naughty things, as revealed in episode twenty of season one, M.A.D.. Sloppy, writers. Very, very sloppy.
- Logan tells Veronica that he needs a P.I. to help him nail his bad guy to the wall. After she finds out Kaufman isn't a 'bad guy' and the Pi Sigs (maybe) aren't serial rapists she tells Parker, "You want to nail someone to the wall just to have someone nailed there or do you want the person responsible to pay." Hee. I love it when she steals her beau's lines.
- When Logan shows Veronica his ten boxes full of financial records, only one of the lids has been taken off already. Makes me think Logan saw them, started to open them and then thought . . . oh Veronicaaaaa and lured her up to his penthouse to help without telling her why. Hee. Rich boy doesn't like to do his own grunt work.
- Hee!!! Harmony's first line to Keith is "Do you remember me by any chance?" Hee!! Great in-joke for those who know that Enrico Colantoni and Laura San Giacomo (Harmony) worked together (and were paired for some time) on the NBC sitcom, Just Shoot Me.
- At the library right before Wallace shows up, the dude that Veronica is helping has some serious Crazy Sauce* hair.
* At the Blowout Event in August, someone showed Jason Dohring a photo of his hair on her digital camera, and he said something like "Wow, that's crazy sauce." This has now become the definition of wild hair in the Dohring-faction of the Veronica Mars fandom.
- In an interview, Rob Thomas mentioned he had been hoping to get Alia Shawkat (Stacy Wells in The Rapes of Graff) to appear again. According to Alan Sepinwall, her character would have been one of the girls wearing the rat traps to the haunted house.
- Also, according to Sepinwall, the censors cut another reference to The Big Lebowski: "The Chinaman is not the issue here." Which refers to a line of dialogue spoken by Walter (John Goodman) in the film:
- When Veronica reminds Dick about the burning bag o' poo incident, he laughs in fond remembrance -- until he turns to see the look on Keith's face, causing his smile to vanish immediately. Hee!
- On that note, check out the contrast between the first time Logan asked Veronica for help and the first time Dick came by for the same thing. Logan hesitates before entering, knows he's not welcome and makes no patronizing comments about the Mars abode. Dick waltzes in like he's the Queen, insults the Mars living conditions and has no idea how much Veronica wants to shoot him. One of them understands the concept of 'humble' a lot better, or at least can put on a better performance of it. Nice contrast.
- Dick's frantic run to the door after Veronica tells him that he needs to leave before she changes her mind about helping clear the Pi Sigma fraternity of any involvement in the Hearst campus rapes.
- The way Dick crouches down outside Veronica's front door to give her the thumbs up after she agrees to take the Pi Sigs' case - and the way you can faintly hear him say "thank you!" after he's closed the door.
- I was laughing so hard at this exchange:
- The horrible look on Keith's face after he sips the coffee that it appears Veronica has brewed.
- The adorably goofy way Keith says to Harmony "Now that was a rocky marriage!"
- Logan leaning over Veronica as she's at her desk is very reminiscent of the time she was researching Trina's boyfriend for him, in Hot Dogs.
- Hee, Veronica actually used her key to get into Logan's hotel room!
- The little smile on Logan's face when he hears the door to his suite open -- because he knows it is Veronica, using her key.
- What is with the stripes in wardrobe?! I've been noticing it a lot, but overkill here!! Geez! In the cafeteria scene, Logan, Veronica and Chip were wearing striped shirts. Seriously. And then in the very next scene, both Charleston and his girlfriend are wearing striped shirts. Fake Charlie had on some stripes on his white overshirt and later (with the paparazzi), Real Charlie had on a vertically-striped shirt. Stripe-overkill, wardrobe people!
- The first time we see him, the real Charlie appears to be wearing the very same shade of green as Logan in the previous scene.
- Charlie Stone calling himself "the real deal" as opposed to Norman's "fake" when Veronica goes to see him at his classroom.
- Whatever Logan bought to eat in the cafeteria scene, he's sure picking it into itty bitty pieces. Not that I blame him, because from a distance, at least, it doesn't look all that appetizing.
- Numbers 1 and 2 on many a fangirl's "What I Most Want See Happen on the Show" list were respectively "Logan and Veronica ... get political" and "Logan surfs." Four episodes into Season 3, the writers have finally given us both of these things, only, we only get to see the scene after the must-see event? What gives? Ever the tease(s).
- The wardrobe department fails this week. "Long time surfers" Logan and Fake Charlie had on brand new identical wetsuits. Straight off the rack, right? Nice. It's not as fun as reindeer boxers, but maybe they called each other or something.
- Why were the Pi Sigs under the impression that Veronica cleared them of the rape last year? Didn't Chip say in My Big Fat Greek Rush Week that Veronica accused him of rape? I thought Veronica did more to get their fraternity in trouble last year when she handed in those photos about what they were up to. She cleared Troy, not the Pi Sigs. It seemed really dumb that they'd suddenly come to her for help.
- The Hearst rapist (whether it's the guy in the photo or not) made Claire buy the condoms he used when he raped her. Not only is he an evil bastard, but apparently he's cheap too.
- When Logan runs up to Veronica on campus, you can hear his footsteps rapidly approaching before he actually appears on screen.
- Logan really does seem to favor green -- he's wearing green in almost every scene this episode. Even his surfboard is green!
- Dick, like his frat brothers, is sporting a snazzy suit for the on-campus hearing. However, unlike the rest of the Pi Sigs, he's still sporting his favorite chucks in lieu of dress shoes.

- When did Logan start calling Veronica "bobcat" and is the nickname sexual in nature as many are speculating?
- What could Logan have possibly said about surfing that Veronica was convinced would offend Keith?
- Did Claire really get drunk/drugged at the haunted house or did it happen somewhere else? Considering she and her friends have been accusing the frat boys of being involved with the rapes, why on earth would she drink anything while she was there? To quote Veronica: "I think I'd sooner drink Mark McGrath's bathwater than drink anything (t)here."
- Trying to come up with change in order to purchase condoms at a convenience store sounds more like a guy who's getting unexpectedly "lucky" than the behavior of a serial rapist. Wouldn't the actual rapist not only be more prepared, but also try to avoid being seen in such a public place with his victim?
- Why didn't Veronica take this to the Sheriff? Or, around the Sheriff, for that matter, because she doesn't believe in his ability to follow through. In other words, why didn't SHE follow through? Why not take it around the same fraternity/sorority houses and see if anyone had seen this guy? Why not ask the victims? The biggest why of all? Why not take the damn photo to the same convenience store guy who told her about the condom buying incident and ask him if this was the guy with the blond?
- Where's Lamb? Why isn't he asking any of these questions? Why isn't he pulling surveillance photos? Yeah, yeah, he is incompetent, but this is way beyond what we've seen from him before. This is a public enough crime. Lamb likes to look good for the public. He should be at least pretending to do his job.
- Where's the school administration? Here's this rampant rapist going around, and there seem to be no security measures beyond what's common? For that matter, where's parental and media outcry?
- Is the rapist wearing gloves? Are the rooms fingerprinted? Is there any common physical evidence that has been collected? And yes, why did he change his MO? Was Claire's rape a copy cat thing?
- Why didn't Veronica ask the convenience store clerk for a physical description of the man with Claire, which would at least serve to confirm whether the Asian man in the ATM photograph is the same person?
- If Veronica has a photograph showing a potential suspect in the Hearst rape cases, shouldn't she bring such an important piece evidence to the police or some other authority figure?
- The first tier of Logan's trust fund is supposed to last him until he turns twenty-one. Is this part of his inheritance from Aaron? How many tiers are set up for later? And why on earth is the money that's going to Charlie being taken specifically from Logan's trust fund? Why wouldn't Aaron have set up a separate secret fund to deal with his illegitimate child(ren)?
- I get Charlie getting the $10,000 when he was a child, before eighteen, hell, even before twenty-one. But why is he STILL receiving $10,000 a month? Upon Aaron's death, why would it still matter to keep it a secret to pay for? (Unless this was Aaron's way of screwing Logan one more time after his death.)
- How is it possible, or even believable, that Norman Phipps would begin tapping Charlie's phone at the exact time that Logan discovers the existence of his half-brother? Isn't that an awfully big coincidence?
- When Logan left the first message for Charlie, why didn't Charlie return his call, since at that time, he had no specific reason to ignore him?
- It's odd that Veronica got the name 'Charlie' from calling a bunch of suits at various companies. Is Charlie's official Christian name Charlie or Charles?
- Is 'Lonely Telescope Guy' RT's equivalent of 'Big Fat Naked Guy' on Friends? 'Cause I got to tell you it doesn't have the same ring to it, and I could really do without seeing Logan staring off his balcony for no reason again.
- Did Norman break in and delete Logan's original message to Charlie before he heard it or was the real Charlie more cautious than Logan?
- Is Charlie's mom really a flight attendant? If so, is Charlie the product of Aaron joining the mile high club? 'Cause ... eww.
- If Logan really is going to run out of money in fourteen months shouldn't he appear more worried about this fact and maybe consider moving out of the Presidential Suite of the Neptune Grand?
- Now that Logan's cash flow is beginning to slow, will he, gasp, actually have to get a job? I hear Mars Investigations is hiring.
- How can Veronica be certain that the Asian man standing behind Claire in the ATM photo is with Claire, and isn't just waiting to withdraw cash?
- Since Norman had already interviewed Charlie "anonymously" before he spoke to Logan, were all the stories Norman used about Charlie's childhood true?
- Keith mentions that he has a friend in banking. Would this be the same person that Veronica tapped to track Lynn Echolls' credit card and bank transactions when investigating her suicide for Logan?
- The second time Harmony comes to see Keith, she mentions that she's only got twenty minutes which is why she brought lunch with her. When Veronica and Logan come by the office later, one can assume that she and Keith have been hanging out for quite a bit longer than that. Did Harmony, like Keith, lie about how much time she had because she didn't want to appear like she was interested in Keith? Or was she just having so much fun with Keith that she blew off her next appointment?
- But perhaps what is more important than all these questions is: Why did Trina shoot Nicole Ritchie with a BB gun? And can photographic evidence of this be made available?

- Alia Shawkat (Stacey, The Rapes of Graff) was originally meant to have the role given to Nancy in this episode: Strapping rat traps to all her gropable parts at the Pi Sig party. Unfortunately scheduling conflicts got in the way of her returning to the show.

- In A Trip to the Dentist, when discovered by a room full of 09ers, Logan held out his hand for Veronica to take showing that he was cool with everyone knowing that she was girlfriend. Here, Veronica held out her hand to Logan to take before sitting down for dinner with dad, essentially showing that she was cool with Logan being allowed into the Mars inner family circle.

duchessjms (Jayne): Literature
genova (Cara): Extra Credit; Social Science
holly96 (Holly): Yearbook; Social Science; Homeroom; Literature
Iloveyoubearymuch (Kathryn): Homeroom; Philosophy
JaneDtwo: Social Science; Philosophy
JenniferH: Report Card; Chemistry; Band Class; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy; Principles of Democracy
Pixigal: Drama Club; Social Science
PolarTruckin (Belinda): Journalism; Literature, Homeroom, Philosophy; Extra Curricular Activities
sawmg (Shannon): Social Science; Homeroom
SeluciaV (Alli): Study Hall; Literature; Homeroom; Philosophy
Tar Frimmer (Joanne): Literature; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
Written by: Diane Ruggiero, Jason Elen
Directed by: Jason Bloom

Staff Grade: B
Membership Grade: A (54.8% - 118 votes)
This episode bears a striking similarity to the second episode of this season in that much is happening (we have three separate storylines) and yet there is no flow or connection between any of the plots. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, past episodes that have featured similar multiple, non-connecting plots were excellent. Where this one differs is that the editing and directing feel very much off and the many threads feel like too much. With that said, while there is a lot happening here like in episode two, here, the viewer is still connecting. There is an emotional resonance in each of the stories (some working better than others -- please tone down the bitchiness of Parker, the character hasn't endeared herself to most yet and so showing this side is only making people lose sympathy for her) and that is what keeps us coming back. And on a Logan/Veronica note, it is so lovely to see follow-through from last week.

Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Chris Lowell - Stosh "Piz" Piznarski
Tina Majorino - Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie
Michael Muhney - Sheriff Don Lamb
Francis Capra - Eli "Weevil" Navarro
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Chastity Dotson - Nish
Krista Kalmus - Claire Nordhouse
Tanya Michelle - Nancy Cooper
David Tom - Chip Diller
Guest Stars
LeAnna Campbell - Carly Hearn
Mark Chiarrocchi - Marvin Chase
Matt Czuchry - Norman Phipps
Ryan Eggold - Charlie Stone
Amy Rider - Charlotte
Laura San Giacomo - Harmony Chase
Parry Shen - Hsiang "Charleston" Chu
Lee Weaver - Walter
Cliff Weissman - Avi Kaufman
Who's Who in Neptune
Carly Hearn - Works at Riley International, a company that Marvin Chase does a lot of business with. Initially suspected of having an affair with Marvin.
Marvin Chase - Harmony Chase's husband, whom she suspects of having an affair.
Norman Phipps - Contributor to Vanity Fair. Pretended to be Charlie Stone in order to get an exclusive story on Logan and the Echolls.
Charlie Stone - Logan's half-brother who has been receiving $10,000 dollars a month from Aaron's estate. Teaches at Calvert Academy, a private school in San Juan Capistrano.
Charlotte - Charleston's girlfriend. Has apparently been cheating on him with Chip.
Harmony Chase - Woman who comes to Keith when she suspects her husband has been cheating on her. Previously met Keith at Judge Crawford's Christmas parties, at which he apparently helped her with her tire one year. Also has a daughter.
Hsiang "Charleston" Chu - Pi Sig fraternity brother. Served the drinks at the haunted house; has a girlfriend, Charlotte.
Walter - Convenience store clerk who gave Veronica the information about Claire the night of her rape.
Avi Kaufman - Logan's (and previously Aaron's) business manager. Ran Aaron's Kidz, the front organization for the money going to Charlie Stone.
Hey! It's That Guy/Girl
Matt Czuchry (Norman Phipps) - Matt Czuchry plays Logan Huntzberger, Rory's boyfriend, on Gilmore Girls. Before landing his role as Logan, he also appeared in five episodes of Young Americans and twelve episodes of Hack. There have been a number of comparisons in the media and among fans between the two Logans (especially once the WB/UPN merger was announced and speculation of a Gilmore Girls/Veronica Mars night began). Like Logan Echolls, Logan Huntzberger is also the boyfriend of the lead character, is rich, and has daddy issues. Although they have their similarities and it is certainly possible to like both characters, there is no question which Logan is better (and sorry, Matt, it's not yours).
Laura San Giacomo (Harmony Chase) - Laura San Giacomo first came to attention with her role in the 1989 film sex, lies, and videotape, for which she received a Golden Globe nomination. She also appeared in the films Pretty Woman and Quigley Down Under as well the made-for-TV miniseries of Steven King's The Stand. San Giacomo is best known for her role as Maya Gallo on the TV series Just Shoot Me! which aired from 1997 to 2003. Her character, Maya, was a journalist at Blush, a magazine owned by her father. Maya also had an on-again, off-again relationship with photographer Elliot DiMauro (played by our very own Enrico Colantoni). She received a Golden Globe nomination for her work during Season two of the show.

Highlights
Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls) - In the song "Gaston" from Beauty and the Beast, the townspeople sing
- No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston ...
My, what a guy, Gaston!"
- No one angsts like Logan
Snarks and quips like Logan,
In a romantic scene, no one adores like Logan ...
Oh, what an actor is Dohring.
- Dohring is the best and the rest can attest. Oh what an actor is Dohring!
Honorable mentions: Kristen Bell continued to bring a vibrant honesty and commitment to her portrayal of Veronica this week. Ryan Hansen delivered another standout performance that was a wonderful dose of pure Dick. Finally, guest star Laura San Giacomo quiet, understated performance subtly revealed all the hopeful longing and unhappiness she was feeling.

Scene One: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
This may be the healthiest we've seen Logan ... like ever. Veronica's all worried and slightly freaking and Logan's joking and smirking in good-natured fashion, but when she continues to freak he became all mature and just awesome. His "Veronica, I'm not going to say anything bad," was just so, so awesome. Logan being reassuring? Logan being the calm, rational one? Logan? Wow! That night on the roof was not a one-shot deal (although, obviously those were much worse circumstances). Logan really has grown up a bit, his death-wish is gone and he's settling into being a pretty decent guy. Go Logan!
But, let's back up a bit to the "milky thighs" comment and just hee! All of Veronica's ranting about her nakedness which Logan has seen and touched, etc. was good for humor. But, ah, when Logan said the phrase "milky thighs," there was definitely a rise in the temperature. Suddenly, there was a whole new level of LOGANANDVERONICAAREHAVINGSEXOHMY!!!! to the mood. Sometimes it just all depends on who's saying the what. Hee.
Finally there was the moment when Veronica held out her hand for Logan to take. *Sigh* What a lovely little throwback (intentional or not) to A Trip to the Dentist when discovered by a room full of 09ers, Logan held out his hand for Veronica to take showing that he was cool with everyone knowing that she was his girlfriend. Here, Veronica held out her hand to Logan to take before sitting down for dinner with dad, essentially showing that she was cool with Logan being allowed into the Mars inner family circle. And let us take note, this is the first time we've ever seen Veronica and Keith have dinner with ANYONE! And Keith suggested it which makes one think that he knows how serious Veronica is about Logan. Squee!
Scene Two: Familial Love
I enjoyed this scene for both the surface and what's beneath. Of course, the surface level was just funny. The questions casually asked that Logan tried to answer and Veronica's nonstop interrupt-fest at just about every seemingly innocuous query was amusing. I would have liked to see the scene go along a little longer, but what we did get ... it was so much fun seeing the three of them together, interacting. And ah, it was nice seeing Keith attempting to be nice -- even if it wasn't genuine, which may not have been. Perhaps, Veronica had the right of it. I do wonder if it was more Veronica not giving him the chance to put Logan in his place, so to speak. I'm thinking this because of what happened when Keith met Troy (in The Wrath of Con). Like in this scene, Keith started out calm and interested in what the boy his daughter was seeing was all about. It was only after he had given Troy enough rope to hang himself that Keith went in for the kill and put him in his place. It was quite clear that Veronica -- judging from the many requests she gave her father to be nice -- was well aware of this little technique of Keith's. Therefore, all of her interruptions likely had nothing to do with lack of trust in Logan or fear that he would put his foot in it. She knows her father and knows that a seemingly benign question could very well be just two moves away from skewering the poor youth.
So, hee! I do think Veronica should have more faith in Logan because I like to believe that he's crafty enough that he could neatly sidestep any of Keith's verbal traps and Veronica should realize this. However, I'll definitely give her a pass because I think it wasn't so much not having faith in Logan as seeing her mighty father as impervious to even Logan's fast footwork.
There was also some lovely character movement here from Logan in how he was watching the interplay between Keith and Veronica. Logan fans have long been frustrated with Veronica's lack of reciprocal feelings for Logan (banished after the last episode -- SQUEE!) because Logan not only didn't get it from Veronica; he'd gotten it from no one else. Certainly not from his family. And to see Logan, an outsider even while sitting at their table, watching this clear family unit so filled with love and genuine affection was heartbreaking. He looked at the two with a sorta dazed, adoring wonderment. (Okay, I'm sure the "adoring" was mostly for Veronica). It was as if he was witnessing something so startling wonderful to behold; he couldn't keep the smile off his face or the sparkle from his eyes. And, of course, there is lovely resonance with this at the end of the episode. But we're not there yet.
Before we move on I want to comment on one more aspect of this scene that is very LoVe-friendly. I mentioned above that I don't think Veronica's interruptions had anything to do with lack of faith in Logan; in fact I felt that she was trying to protect Logan. In addition, she was also happily trying to build him up for Keith as well. ("Hearst accepted him late because his scores were so high," she said proudly.) It's so very nice to see emotional continuity carried over from last week.
Scene Three: Go Get 'Em, Bobcat
Honestly the nicest thing about this scene was the comparison to the only other time we've seen Logan and Veronica in an elevator together -- this elevator, in fact, with the horrific gold, spangly decor. That would, of course, be the infamous sole LoVe scene in Donut Run, Rob Thomas' directorial debut in which we saw Logan and Veronica nastier to one another since, oh, The Pilot. Yeah, that bad.
What a difference nine months made. Just check out the pictorial evidence below:
But enough of that not-so-lovely memory, back to the present and in the present, Logan and Veronica have continued their streak of utter adorability. Veronica jokingly asked Logan if he's showing her porn (as she's leaning over to touch him), and then in true Veronica Mars fashion wondering if it has something to do with a soft, cute animal (ponies, puppies, kittens, oh my!). Alas for this cat lover -- what I wouldn't give to see Logan cuddling a kitty -- felines were not in store for the young Miss Mars. Instead it was all about the dollars, Logan explained, opening the door to his suite himself, instead of letting Veronica use her key (squee!).
Okay I lied ... at the start of this when I said that the compare/contrast is the nicest thing, nah. It's the second nicest thing. The bestest thing is the fact that we are not seeing the show play fast and loose with their relationship --Veronica is as wonderfully open as she could be and caring for Logan in episode three and then back to being emotionally withdrawn here. No, we are still getting a Veronica who loves Logan and is totally playing the supportive girlfriend. She offered the help of Keith's accountant and then simply the help of herself. Ahhh, Veronica giving of herself (and her dad's associates) to Logan. Lovely.
As for Logan, well, he just is in a much sprightlier mood than the first couple of episodes, which we can certainly choose to believe is thanks to his "bobcat" opening up to him at last. ** Sigh **
Scene Four: My Eyes Adored You
Hee! The title pretty much sums up the entire first half of this scene because that's about all that Logan did let his eyes adore Veronica. While Veronica was all "wtf?!" about Keith and Harmony, Logan was all about Veronica and adoring her with his eyes. Seriously. Beyond taking in the older pair when he and Veronica first walked in, his eyes were practically glued to Veronica and they were all shiny and happy and filled with schmoopy, gooey love. Hee! And what's really nice about this scene is that in her own way, Veronica showed that she's filled with as much schmoopy, gooey love. After Harmony left, and Keith told Logan about the deal with the money, Veronica was completely there! The questions that had been careening through her mind at full speed moments before about who the woman was that her daddy was being so chummy with came to a standstill once Keith brought up Logan's problem. Then she was immediately thinking of Logan, of his problems and of how he could be helped. Totally feeling for him. Man, in the world of Veronica Mars, when her brain stops mid-gear whirring over Keith of all things and parks firmly on your mystery, that's love. That is love.
Scene Five: Veronica, The Bestest Girlfriend Ever!
Okay, I cannot be the only person who flashbacked to the Hot Dogs when Veronica was checking up on Trina's "sleaze of the week" boyfriend. Ah memories. They're in a better place now, but hey, that sleuthing led to a really, really hot kiss. Oh well, can't have everything. And what we have here is Veronica really helping Logan. She's been such a concerned, supportive girlfriend it's actually a little mind-boggling.
Scene Six: Veronica's Beau
Short and sweet, Logan tells Veronica to screw her brains out. Hee! The thing that most may remember from this scene is that after Veronica called Logan her beau (little hee!), she leaned over and kissed his cheek and as she walked away, you can see Logan wiping his cheek. I would like to point out that about five seconds before, she had just taken a big swig from her water bottle, no doubt her lips were pretty wet, thus the cheek-wipe. Logan doesn't think that Veronica has cooties!
Scene Seven: A Working Relationship
Again, as in most of this episode, there's not much to analyze. It simply comes down to one thing: For the first time since this show began we are seeing Logan and Veronica in a healthy relationship. She's open and loving as he has always been with her when things are romantic. She's supportive and concerned for him, ditto he for her. They're both there for one another, laughing together, eating together, and just simply being together. And we see that here in this scene in full force. Veronica did all that she did (and clearly spent a lot of time on it) just for Logan, no other reason. The answer to this would provide no gain to her, it was all for him. She found out where his money was going bye-bye just to help him out and without making any snide quips about his wealth, no less.
I don't think that it can't be said enough how wonderful this is for those fans of Logan and Veronica who genuinely like seeing them together as a couple and aren't just into them because of the love-hate, push-pull, dramatics, bloodshed feel, angst-o-rama of what their relationship has been shown to be up until now. I'm talking about fans who like them for one or some or all of the following reasons: The dynamics of their characters, good and bad, work well together. Jason Dohring and Kristen Bell have chemistry whether they're playing out a healthy relationship or a fucked-up one. Or simply because they're pretty together. If any or all of the above apply, such viewers (and I count myself as one where all three apply) have got to love what we are seeing. They work. Logan and Veronica, in a relationship, can and DO work.
Oh, and hee! She used her bonus birthday gift.
Scene Eight: What a Suspicious Mind You Have, Veronica Mars
Not much here. Most of the action was on Logan and Fake Charlie's interaction, but it was definitely interesting how assessing Veronica's gaze was. We've ever only seen Veronica like that when (a) she's solving a case -- and as far as she's concerned at this point, this case done be solved or (b) when someone she cares about is possibly be taken for a ride. And as the last episode (and this one) have shown us, Veronica definitely cares about Logan. It's still nice see obvious proof smack us in the face. She sensed that something was not quite right with the too-perfect Charlie Stone, but like the good girlfriend she is proving herself to be, she didn't throw it in Logan's face. (Ssh! She needs to get proof first.)
And let us not fail to note that Logan introduced Veronica as his girlfriend. Which, of course, we all noted he didn't do last week when those
Scene Nine: Charlie Do Surf ... But He's No Charlie
Why exactly did Veronica choose to out Fake Charlie in public? Other than that, I understand why Veronica did what she did and even though he didn't say anything, I'm fairly confident that Logan did too. What worked here is that again we saw a Veronica who cares about her boyfriend and it was in the little things. Veronica loves her big reveals (which could explain the why of the locale she chose), but her smug demeanor was kept to a minimum.
There is one detail in particular I'd like to mention. Some have wondered in the past if Veronica is bothered by Logan's use of force at times, but I think this again proves that while she's not hip-hip-hooray about it, she understands he's a young man and males do like to use their fists. Yes, she reacted with a jump when he punched Fake Charlie, but she didn't tell him to stop or try and keep him from doing so at any point and she certainly had the opportunity. In addition, once Fake Charlie was down, it was seemingly forgotten by Veronica as her concern was fully for Logan and apologizing for taking away Logan's "family."
And that is why she was apologizing. Yes, the guy was lying, but Logan was enjoying having him in his life; he was loving having a family member he could talk to and get along with. Although it would have come out anyway (the Vanity Fair story), had Veronica not been the one to reveal it, Logan would have had that "family" for a bit longer and Veronica wouldn't have been the one to take it away from him. And for that, she was sorry.
Scene Ten: The Girl's A'Learning
Okay, seriously, my favorite moment in this episode was right here. When Logan just ran up, ran around her, wrapping his arm around her waist, I loved it. It was a gleeful overreaction to cover his pain, but it was glee directed towards Veronica in a totally adorable way and it just made me smile. I rewound that moment about five times when I first saw it. As for the rest of the scene? See? Logan understood why she did what she did and had no problem with her doing it.
I felt rather sad for Logan that he immediately assumed the worst of Real Charlie, but I can't blame him. I just can't. Not after all of the disappointment he's had in his life and I don't think that Veronica could either. I'm stopping this train of thought now because this is the LoVe analysis, not the Logan analysis and I do have one more LoVe thing to point out. (Okay, two. The hair kissing and stroking was sweet Suh-weet. I want Logan for a boyfriend. I'm willing to risk the piano wire.) Ahem.
I loved how even though Veronica did think that Logan was assuming and possibly wrong about Charlie, she clearly took stock in his frame of mind and didn't push. Proof. She's learning that before she brings him bad news, she needs proof. Now, let's just hope that all of that learning will apply when next she thinks he's being a bad boy, mayhap she'll try and find proof before going all accusatory. Right now, she's hitting all the right cylinders and I couldn't be more proud of her. You go, Veronica!
Scene Eleven: V and Sympathy
Short, but sweet and if it doesn't quite pack the emotional punch it could have I blame it on a few shallow quirks -- but they do matter -- and sorry, Kristen Bell, and the director. First the shallow, Veronica's hair and make-up were just so blah and just wrong that it was almost striking. Maybe it was just me, but it threw me off when we saw pretty, pretty Logan (because Jason did look EXTREMELY pretty in this scene) and then Veronica looking about as blah as I've ever seen her. That's the shallow. As for Bell, it wasn't the entire scene by a long shot, just the first couple of lines. I don't know why she chose to deliver them the way she did and it's very, very possible that it was the director's call (she was ON for the rest of the episode beautifully), but those first couple of lines sounded like she was talking to a small child and trying to explain something that was possibly too difficult for him to understand. It was very odd. But again, I could just blame the director who did an overall blah job in directing, I felt. Ah, I've been very happy with Kristen Bell the last few episodes, I'll blame the director.
No even with my issues, I still enjoyed this scene because as I mentioned above, I really felt that Logan was just so touched by Keith and Veronica's interaction at dinner. He was so dazzled at the affection he witnessed between them because it was so alien to anything he'd ever experienced. So it was a lovely, lovely callback to that reaction from Logan to have him tell Veronica pretty much that (and with teary eyes, no less). What was also quite lovely was Veronica again being such a wonderful girlfriend, so very, very there for Logan. I loved her leaning into him, putting her chin on his shoulder, her arm caressing him in sympathy. It was so sweet and so loving.
I must say that I'm truly very happy that when we were given such a show as we were last week that proved that Veronica DOES love Logan, it didn't switch gears on us. This episode could NOT have aired at any point before Wichita Linebacker because the difference in Veronica in relation to her treatment/attitude towards Logan is so startling. And so wonderful in contrast. And we were, yet again, given another scene encapsulating that beautifully.
Brava.

The Case of the Missing Money
Logan is meeting with his super accountant to the stars, Mr. Avi Kaufman: sleazy enough to ... well, work for Aaron Echolls, I guess. He probably has coffee dates with Mr. Levois - his lawyering counterpart from Happy Go Lucky. The accountant informs Logan in his supercilious voice that Logan's trust fund is hemorrhaging money at an alarming rate (the implication being that Logan is immaturely spend-happy now that he's got control of the purse strings). The trust fund is meant to last until his twenty-first birthday but it's only going to last another fourteen months at the rate he's guzzling cash. Logan looked at the statement and instead of coming to the conclusion that he should spend less and work from this thing called a budget (what's that??), has decided that he should be getting more money. There's money missing that Logan hasn't spent himself.
Kaufman is clearly hiding something because when the missing money comes up he whips off his Smug Bastard Mask to reveal a rare glimpse of his Serious Face: "It's complicated." Seconds later the Smug Bastard Mask returns when Logan decides to get his lawyer involved (is he talking about Cliff McCormack here? No wonder he doesn't name him, because that name certainly isn't intimidating in legal circles). Kaufman tells Logan he can do better, he'll send all of Logan's financial records over.
The Neptune Grand elevators ding open and for once it's not a toll of doom for our beloved ship. Veronica has clearly been wondering why Logan is bringing her to his penthouse because the words "I want to show you something in my room" are only one step away from "tawdry" in Veronica's mind: "You're not showing me porn?" is the opening guess. Logan almost blushes when he denies it, and as Veronica continues to come up with sillier things Logan could be showing her - like kittens! - he explains that they're doing something no more interesting than discussing his financial situation.
Logan thinks Kauffman is skimming off the top of his inheritance. Veronica tells him that her dad has a great accountant (Pfffttt ... excuse me while I chuckle, I don't think the accountants Keith Mars can afford would be anywhere near as good as those Logan could get himself). Logan shrugs the suggestion off: He's decided that HE can be his girl's mystery of the week, screw going to people with expertise in this area! "I think I need more of a private detective to help me nail this guy to the wall." Good plan, it's not like they get quality time any other way on this show. Veronica's all for it too until he opens the door and she sees ten boxes full of financial records. "Go get em', bobcat."
Apparently, Veronica wasn't up for rifling through the boxes either and she passed them on to Keith's accountant anyway. Keith tells her his accountant is almost finished with the files when he greets her sitting down to breakfast. As gently as possible, Keith approaches the option that Logan's money problems could just be his "champagne wishes and caviar dreams." And let's admit it, given Veronica's suspicious nature, I'm surprised as hell she didn't come to that conclusion by herself. I'm hoping she's just being the quippy quipmeister of quipsville when she says he has a solid gold foosball table because I'd have to hurt him otherwise.
Logan and Veronica stop by Mars Investigations when Keith's accountant gets back to him with the results. The Echolls estate (hey, I thought we were talking about a trust fund here ... ) apparently contributes $10,000 to some charity called Aaron's Kidz every month. Putting aside the fact that contribution should not have anything to do with Logan's trust fund (unless this was Aaron's way of giving his son a last pear down the throat from the grave), it seems Avi Kaufman isn't doing anything nefarious with Logan's cash. Darn it. Looks like you really will need to learn the concept of a budget, Logan.
The accountant took the charity on face value and apparently Keith is so, er ... distracted that he didn't look into it either. He hopes everything has been cleared up for Logan (but really, he probably was laboring under the assumption that Logan was a spend-thrift kid and nothing weird was happening). Veronica doesn't let the case go so easily. In the worst time transition ever, Logan suddenly is back outside Mars Investigations walking in with the Thai he just purchased for their dinner, while Veronica prepares to let him in on the latest intrigue in his case.
'Aaron's Kids' was apparently a non-profit organization that shut down years ago (when Aaron realized he didn't give a crap about his own kid let alone anyone else's ... but that's spec). 'Aaron's Kidz' - note the Z - is still in business, chaired by Avi Kaufmann. Despite Veronica's ominous tone and Logan's shattered look, by the next scene we're meant to assume they have no idea if Dr. Avi really is going to build a huge laser and hold the world to ransom for one meellion dollars ... or whatever else he's doing under the cover of a 'charity.' We do see glimpses of long-lost OPJ Logan however (oh, how we miss you) when he fantasies about dangling Kaufman out of a window to get him to talk. It worked for Clarence, why can't Veronica let him get his rage on? Right, reason.
Veronica decides to use her magic marker and the even more magic white board to get Logan his answer. (Really, dangling Kaufman out of a window would have been much more fun to watch and much more believable too ... though slightly more illegal.) Starting with Avi Kaufman and his position as Chairman of Micardo Enterprises, Veronica 'follows the money' using nothing but her telephone and a magic marker. Can we say, huh? Wow, her phone voice must be so good it would put all those 1300 numbers out of business if she only put it to use.
By the time Keith gets home - late that night - Veronica's light is still on and she's apparently finished all her calls and has taken to staring at the wonder of her white board. And by God is it a wonder of the modern world! She's cracked Logan's case. All the money goes through several different chains and companies until ending up in the hands of one person: Charlie Stone. Forget about James Boag, the question of the night is 'Who is Charlie Stone?'
Cut to Logan's penthouse where he's apparently going to breakout into a moonlit sonata on his balcony at any moment. Luckily for us, Veronica uses her room key (SQUEE!) to get inside and snap him out of it just in time. While Logan stares at Veronica adoringly (like he wants her to get whatever information she has off her chest so he can start to get ... other things ... off her chest), she tentatively tells him that the money is going to Charlie Stone: His brother. All thoughts of adoring Veronica's assets slip from his face to be replaced by Woobie Logan Shot #578,036. Although, I have to say when the name of a fake charity is Aaron's Kidz, I don't think he tried to hide it very well and I think Logan is a little slow for not jumping to that conclusion by now ... given his father's predilections and all.
Charlie Stone is a private school teacher in San Juan Capistrano but Veronica has looked him up in the phone book and gives Logan the number. Glutton for Punishment, thy name is Logan. He asks what he's supposed to do but we all know what he's going to do, suffering from the kicked puppy syndrome that he is. Case in point: Dating Veronica after she'd just accused him of killing his ex. Yeah, he's good at making himself vulnerable when he knows he's probably just going to get pounded in the end.
In another one of the worst transitions ever, Veronica is gone and Logan is about to dial Charlie's phone number. It looks like he's been up all night but he's wearing a different - though equally green - shirt. Hmmm. Perhaps he just likes to change shirts constantly when he's feeling blue or perhaps this is another day. *shrugs*
And that seems to be that.
Logan is sitting out on the balcony (honestly, why? Why does he suddenly have a fascination with the view Cassidy jumped off?) getting to know his half-brother, Charlie Stone. Charlie is telling Logan about how his mother told him Aaron was his father while going to see the elder Echolls in the movie, Thought Police. He was ten years old and his father was the action hero mind wrestling with Sly Stallone; the thought probably didn't suck to ten-year old Charlie like Logan's reality did. Strangely, Charlie calls his mother 'a looker' signifying that's probably why Aaron deigned to touch a flight attendant. Charlie says he didn't believe Aaron was his dad until he saw the hush money checks (and I'm guessing this is a while after he was ten years old). At first, he was jealous of Logan's life until the tabloid stories started becoming a regular occurrence, specifically Aaron cheating on Lynn (which, we know, eventually resulted in her suicide). Logan watches him intensely as he talks, especially when Charlie brings up a targeted question: "I started wondering if something was wrong with me, you know? If this is my bloodline." Clearly, Logan shares the exact same thoughts but he doesn't say anything too revealing in response.
Charlie tells him he has to leave and grade papers. Logan nervously gets up, telling Charlie they should do it again ... longer next time. Charlie agrees because he wants to hear about his father - whether it's good or bad. Mostly bad, Logan concedes, but he seems willing to give Charlie that much (even if it means making himself vulnerable again). Clearly he's already smitten with his big bro so Veronica should be oh, so proud of herself for instigating this wonderful reunion.
Speaking of Veronica, she opens the balcony door after using her key again (squee!) to find Logan has company. Logan excitedly introduces Veronica to his half-brother which must be an odd experience to her considering how he talks about his step-sister, Trina. They shake hands. Logan seems really proud that his brother has such an honest job and then he discovers Charlie surfs too. Light breaks over Charlie's stunning blond locks and tiny little harps start strumming out an exultant hymn oh sorry, was that just in Logan's head? Surfing. They really ARE brothers.
Now, Veronica could be as excited about Logan's new brother as Logan is but she, like most people, has sensed a certain pattern in Logan's life. It goes something like this: Apathy to Mellowness to Hope to HAPPINESS to Crushing Despair to Apathy. Repeat ad nauseum, ad infinitum. So, she could be happy for him but she's going to be her super spy self instead and check on Charlie Stone's motives at his school, caring girlfriend that she is.
She knocks on Mr. Stone's room and he opens the door. Wait a second! Chiseled jaw, dark eyes, dark hair this guy looks a lot like Aaron Echolls. And absolutely nothing like Charlie Stone. "Hi. Um. Sorry to bother you, are you by any chance the sub for Mr. Stone?" That's right, Veronica, give the boy Logan's surfing with one last chance. But ... no dice. He is Mr. Stone. He's the real deal.
Crap.
Now that we know the real Charlie Stone has not stood up with Logan at the beach, the long-awaited surfing scene has us screaming: "NOOO!! STOP!!! You're pouring your heart out now???" throughout the entire thing. That's right, Logan is with - what we can now assume is an impostor - telling him all of the stuff 'Charlie' wanted to know - good or bad - about being raised by Aaron Echolls. And you all know what that means. He's already been through the scissors incident and the drained pool episode (and I can imagine what that one entailed) but we get to experience Logan talking about the time he almost experienced death-by-pear: Aaron Echolls shoving twelve pears down his throat, only stopping when Logan's dearly departed mother saved him with a cheese knife. Never a dull moment at the Echolls house. Logan breaks the tense moment after his revelation by shoving Fake-Charlie off his board and following him under the water. No. That wasn't trite or gay at all.
Logan and Fake-Charlie walk up the beach together with their boards when Logan sees Veronica sitting on a rock with her laptop. He's happy to see her until she says, "Hi, Logan! Hi, Norman Phipps!" At least that's the name on his rental car. Now, Veronica is out of practice being a concerned girlfriend so this scene is a bit of a hybrid between concerned-about-boyfriend and sarcastic-self-righteous-smug, Veronica. She tells Logan (kind of) that the person he's been bonding over child abuse stories with is in fact not his brother, Charlie Stone. "Charlie" or, rather, Norman is a freelance reporter sometimes connected to Vanity Fair. She need not have gone any further, mention the word 'media' and Logan is pretty much guaranteed to be pissed off. But she had to ask how the story was going and Norman had to be a smug, insensitive jackass about the juicy pear story he uncovered about his target's past. Logan goes to hit Charlie and the Greek Chorus of fan girls is all screaming, "KILL! KILL!" but Logan hesitates when Charlie says, "Oh, please take a swing, it'd make a great lead."
Logan pauses: Should he or shouldn't he? He smiles and punches "Charlie" across the face.
Well, he did ask for it.
Later, the real Charlie Stone drives into the Calvert Academy to find something unusual waiting for him in his parking spot: Dozens of paparazzi. He rushes past them, saying nothing. I've no idea why the vultures aren't circling Logan other than the fact they're excited about the fresh Echolls meat. Meat that was provided to them by Aaron's legitimate heir when Logan took the Larry King interview briefly mentioned during his oh-so-adorable dinner date with the Mars family. During the King interview, Logan gave Charlie a 'coming out' party, but doesn't empathize with the hell Charlie is about to go through because Charlie had obviously served him up on a platter for the Vanity Fair reporter. It was revenge: Two birds with one stone called Larry King. Veronica isn't so certain but doesn't argue too hard in Charlie's favor because Logan is clearly upset.
Logan has no more romantic notions about his family, except he would still like to keep the heirlooms of the one member he assumes was normal (in contradiction to Aaron's assessment of daddy dearest in Hot Dogs); Logan gave his grandfather's gold pocket watch to Norman. He asks Veronica to track down Norman Phipps to get it back. She agrees.
Veronica goes to Norman's hotel room. When he opens the door one would forgive the audience for thinking Norman is yet another Scooby mask Veronica must rip off to find Logan Huntzberger - newspaper tycoon - underneath. Did Matt Czuchry just walk off the Gilmore Girls set for this scene? Veronica squeezes past him into his room, and he immediately begins the "it was a job, nothing personal" spiel wait, where have I heard that one before? He tells Veronica that the magazine dropped the story when Larry King scooped them. That's beside the point, she's not there to convince him to back off the story (though it's funny picturing her in that thug capacity); Veronica only came for the watch. While Norman digs through his suitcase for the watch he tells Veronica that Logan got one thing wrong in his interview: Charlie never sold him out. Norman, like Keith, had been doing some illegal spy work and he'd tapped Charlie's phone when Logan called him.
Whoops.
Veronica tells Logan that Charlie was innocent and it's clear that - whatever he might have said when he last saw her - Logan hasn't quite killed the romantic notions inside his head about what his family could be. He tells her he's never had what Veronica has with Keith and the longing in his tone gives away the fact that he wants it. And here's Charlie, an innocent normal guy who had all the potential to be the family Logan's never had. Yeah, whoops indeed; Logan knows exactly how much anonymity is a virtue and exactly how hard the paparazzi can kick you when you're down. He knows his excuse will probably mean nothing to the newly exposed Charlie but ... Glutton for Punishment, thy name is Logan.
He calls him one more time ....
Keith Mars: Love Detective
Keith Mars is sitting at his desk reading a newspaper when there's a knock on his door. He looks up and surprise flashes across his features. In the doorway stands a pretty brunette about his own age that makes him think of the days he wore a beret and his 'money shots' were about getting luck with the ladies rather than catching their cheating spouses. "Hi, um, I don't have an appointment, do you remember me?" Maya -- I mean, Harmony says. They met at Judge Crawford's Christmas parties (when Keith had an 'in' with those upstanding lawmen), he changed her tire and she's been thanking him profusely ever since. Awwww. Too bad they were both married.
Her married status comes as a surprise to Keith because he's never seen her workaholic husband. Harmony has come to him now because she thinks he's cheating on her. They don't love each other anymore, he's a 'glorified roommate' and a 'fantastic father' but she's not going to leave him unless he's been a no-good cheating louse as well. In a description that is very reminiscent of Keith's own feelings about Lianne and Veronica, Harmony explains: "I had settled into that being my life. Happy daughter, faade of happy marriage ... " Keith cuts off the all-to familiar description, "And then you got a couple of 'don't wait up' calls?" In Keith's case, Lianne was a no-good cheater and this case seems pretty open and shut. Keith also seems to really like Harmony. This week on When Fandoms Collide: Keith Mars finds out he can use photography skills to catch a cheating spouse and get the lady.
Keith is so "bored" staking out Harmony's husband that he gives her a call halfway through. Harmony immediately expects he's calling her to describe the no-good, twenty-two year old, pierced-navel blonde screwing her hubby. No such luck ... or so it would seem by how eager Harmony is for her husband to be cheating. Keith is so bored because there is no predictable 'GOTCHA!' twist to this story so far. Her husband really is working late. Instead of hanging up on that anti-climax, Harmony - playing with Keith's sexy work card - starts in on the flirting. "So you're just sitting there watching his car?" She compares her own amateur stakeout with Keith's own 'glamorous' version and then says he owes her a beer if her husband's lover is blonde and twenty-two.
Oh Keith, you're in trouble.
Just as he's about to inappropriately stare at a photo he has of Harmony and her hubby hugging, the husband pulls up with a female work colleague. Keith takes down her number plate and snaps a few shots - none of them are money shots. He sighs.
The next day at breakfast, Keith comes out of his room to his daughter whistling (without) approval. "Sna-zzy." Then again, it would be easy to impress someone who's wearing an outfit so rigidly conservative she might as well be sending herself back in time to live with the Victorians. Yet, since Logan informed us in M.A.D. that time travel hasn't been invented yet we should go with one of Keith's zingers: "Did we start going to Church or are you addressing the junior league?" She's dressing down for what she assumes will be a walk through Club Date Rapist, Keith is dressing up because he's getting a little swoony over his client ... oh, I mean he's just going to Sexy Traffic Court because lookin' that fine and smellin' that good, deserves a fine of another definition. You know he got himself a ticket.
Harmony comes by Keith's office when he's having lunch, he lurches onto his feet to greet her. She walks in with a pizza box because they're just soooo booked up they have to squeeze in lunch with their meeting. It's not giving the meeting a date vibe at all. They open the pizza box ... and then it sits there like this huge, slimy centerpiece never to be touched again.
Keith tells Harmony that her husband, Marvin, was dropped off by a woman named Carly. (Side bar: no wonder the chemistry isn't flowing between Harmony and Marvin, everyone who's seen When Harry, Met Sally knows what I'm talking about. Marvin like ... oh, Piz for example, is a name that sounds terrible when moaned in pleasure. Hmm.) Harmony recognizes the name Carly straight away and slumps back in her seat with ... relief. Carly works at Riley International and Marvin does a lot of business with her company. She's also the smartest woman that dear, old Marvin has ever had the good fortune to meet. Match made in Heaven; Harmony can run for the hills with a clean conscience and an approving nod in Marv's direction.
Keith warns her that he only saw Carly dropping Marvin off, it could have been just business. Harmony grins but doesn't really acknowledge the warning, she's too busy being amused at the bizarre relief she's feeling; she's not jealous at all. And Keith seems to really like that. She finally grabs a slice of that pizza now she's all . . .relieved. Before she can take a bite, Keith asks if Harmony's ever tied her husband's tie and shows her a bug. (Totally illegal, of course, but Keith wants to get laid and he doesn't seem to think about the moment when dear, old Marvin, takes the tie off and finds the bug and gets them busted by the cops. Whatever.)
Later, Keith and Harmony are lazing about on the Mars Investigations couch reminiscing about Keith's good-old days as town Sheriff. He's telling her a story about the time he arrested the wrong perp and the guy never told him because he wanted to get away from his wife so badly that he didn't mind the night in jail. Ah, good times. But apparently being Sheriff makes you seriously incompetent, maybe the Sheriff's position is the equivalent of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the Harry Potter books.
Veronica and Logan burst into the office interrupting Keith and Harmony mid-giggle (better than mid-something else). Keith automatically jumps up from the seat guiltily; Logan and Veronica both read the vibes accurately. Hey, a parent doing naughty things isn't exactly a new thing to either of them. Awkwardness ensues. Keith has told Harmony all about the time Veronica saved a lobster from the Charthouse when she was seven, meaning Harmony has nicknamed her the Liberator of Lobsters. Not the best way to introduce yourself to Keith's suspicious daughter who cuts right through all the crap and realizes Keith's getting a wee bit too close to this potential adultery case ... a wee bit too close to committing adultery himself that is. She watches Harmony suspiciously as Keith subtly hints that it's time for Harmony to go (and escape his daughter's watchful eye). Logan watches Veronica's reaction with concern as Harmony leaves.
Later, Keith is staking out Marvin and Carly again, bug in place. He has his camera poised and ready for the money shot as Marvin helps Carly to her car. Marvin chivalrously opens her door and they're doing the classic Lean when Carly reaches up to lock lips with him. Keith snaps a great money shot.
And that seems to be that.
Keith shows the photo to Harmony and she seems a little teary and nervous now that she has her proof but she's determined to leave him. Keith makes her stop because he has something else for her to listen to. On the tape Marvin tells Carly to stop, he can't cheat on his wife - he has a family. Thank God for illegal bugs! Or, should I say, 'damnit, you should never use illegal bugs'? Keith and Harmony are disappointed that Marvin is such a swell guy, swell enough to drop all connection with Carly's firm as a client. At least if they'd gone without the bug Harmony could have jumped to her own conclusions with the photographic evidence. Instead, she goes home.

- Veronica and Keith are chatting in the Mars family kitchen while Keith prepares dinner. Veronica seems troubled and Keith is trying to insist that like all of his ideas, this one (whatever it is) is a good one. Veronica appears less than convinced. There's a knock on the door and with one last look of mistrust thrown her father's way, Veronica crosses the room. Keith looks after her with an expression that seems to say "wish you'd have a little faith in me."
Veronica opens the door and, lo and behold, there stands her most adorable boyfriend. This leads me to believe that Keith's good idea (that Veronica isn't entirely sold on) is having Logan over for a family dinner. Awww! Teasing Veronica over her furrowed brow, Logan wonders if she was perhaps expecting Sidney Poitier in a manner that makes the words "Sidney Poitier" sound sexier than they have any right to. (*shivers*) Seriously -- how does he do it?
Veronica steps out of the apartment and shuts the door behind her while furiously shaking her head. She gives Logan his laundry list of don'ts for the evening: "No jokes, no innuendos, no quips (and where's the fun in that?). Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers." Okay, yeah, it was funny but jeez, Veronica! A little faith in your boyfriend would not be out of place here.
Logan doesn't seem offended. In fact, he's grinning at Veronica in a way that suggests that he thinks her neuroses are the cutest thing ever. He then wonders aloud if he mentioned that his eyes adored her. (Awwww!) Veronica's trying to look stern and disapproving, but is clearly melting under the aforementioned adoring gaze. And really, how could she not? Of course, Logan can't help but be Logan and makes one last quip for the road that he won't call her "bobcat" and will make no mention of her milky thighs. (Swoon!) Veronica tilts her head back in mock anguish and tells him to go home.
Logan, being the mature and reformed man that he is, calmly assures Veronica that he won't say anything bad. She looks up at him and holds out her hand for him to take in a lovely expression of trust that harkens back to the similar scene in A Trip to the Dentist where Logan offered Veronica his hand before facing a similarly difficult situation. They head inside and prepare to face the Keith Mars firing squad.
Seated around the dinner island, the three enjoy their dinner as Keith begins to ask Logan questions. He starts out with a simple query about how school is going. Logan, clearly trying, comments that he doesn't hate it (which is definitely an improvement). Veronica's eyes are darting back and forth between her two favorite men trying to gauge the direction of the conversation and scrutinizing every word spoken. Logan starts to make another comment about how his grades are less than stellar, but Veronica cuts him off to proudly announce to her dad that Logan was accepted to Hearst late because his test scores were so high.
Keith tries again and asks Logan about the classes he's taking. Reeking of an unhealthy level of paranoia, Veronica jumps in and asks Keith where he's going with this line of questioning. Keith snarkily replies that his endgame was to discover -- gasp! -- what classes Logan is taking. C'mon Veronica, I know your dad is wily and cagey and has been known to lure your boyfriends into dangerous verbal traps by leading with seemingly innocuous questions, but he's clearly trying here. And I have faith that Logan can more than hold his own. So chill, girlfriend!
Logan, proving me right, tells Keith that he's taking a lot of core classes: Sociology, Freshman Composition, and Mass Communications -- which is coming in handy as he's learned that being the son of a murderer (who also happens to be a Hollywood icon) never gets old. He comments that he's gotten quite a few interview requests including one from Larry King who wants him to come on the show with O.J.'s kids. Logan tells Keith that he's not planning to do it.
Keith starts to ask Logan "why not?" but is interrupted yet again by Veronica who would prefer that they stay in the shallow end of the conversational pool for the time being. Keith apologizes, but clarifies to Logan that he thinks it is a good call and was merely curious about his reasons for turning down the interview. Turning back to Veronica he continues that he was unaware that he had to have the conversation vetted. Veronica immediately quips back that she would have been happy to veto questions for him ahead of time, which Keith declares would have been nice. Veronica responds that they could have packed a sandwich and made a day of it. A missed opportunity, Keith is sure. Logan can't help but to smile with amusement and great affection as he watches the interplay between father and daughter.
Ending the banter, Keith wonders exactly what conversational topics his daughter will allow. She ponders momentarily and suggests that perhaps hobbies would be a good choice and they both turn their attention back to Logan. Realizing that the ball has just been lobbed back into his proverbial court, Logan responds somewhat vaguely with " I don't know -- surfing?" (Definitely a better choice than telling Keith he enjoys spending time with Veronica getting, ah, "political.") Keith innocently asks what the attraction is and Veronica, sensing a potential minefield, cuts off that line of questioning too. Keith rolls his eyes and huffs over his daughter's over-zealous and over-protective behavior of her boyfriend.
- Mac's great-aunt, who apparently lived in Bakersfield, just passed away.
- Mac and Parker's dorm is planning a "Girl Power Movies Night" according to the poster outside their door.
- Judge Crawford throws an annual Christmas party that Keith and Harmony both attended for several years.
- Wallace was much fonder of Veronica's prior job at Java the Hut than her current position at the library, mainly due to the fact that the Hut served food. And we all know how Wallace likes to eat!
- According to his t-shirt, it appears that Mr. "Air" Fennell once participated in the Five Boroughs 'Golden 5' Three on Three basketball tournament.
- Dick (and this one's a real shocker) has never been invited to hang out at Veronica's place. That time he left flaming dog poo on her stoop doesn't count.
- Carly Hearn's license plate is 2QCM654.
- Ryan Douglas, President of Micardo Enterprises, has the following contact information: (800) 555-0199 PHONE, (657) 555-0147 FAX.
- Trina, at some point in the past, shot Nicole Richie with a BB gun. One of her finer moments, to be sure.
- Darryl Derryberry (and what the hell kind of a name is THAT?) took over the Ryland International account from Harmony's husband.
- Keith once investigated a case where he proved that a woman was impersonating her boss using photos he obtained from an ATM camera.
- Keith has a friend in banking.
- Norman Phipps was staying in room 103 at his hotel.
- The ATM and convenience store that Claire visited on the night of her rape were located at the corner of Staton and Lake.

- Veronica knocks on Mac and Parker's door (props to the set designer that hung the 'Girl Power Movies Night' outside their room). Parker opens the door with a smile, but when she sees Veronica she launches into a terse explanation that Mac is in Bakersfield because her great aunt has died. Lips pursed, Parker slams the door shut. You know, I think Veronica is going to develop a complex if any more doors are shut in her face.
Veronica turns around with a mixed expression of irritation and lack of surprise. But, donning her resolve face, she turns right back around and knocks on the door again. Parker yanks it open, pissed. Veronica tells her that Mac is one of her best friends (a friend that's neglected to tell Parker that the rape wasn't Veronica's fault?), so she's going to keep stopping by. "And having doors shut in my face is gonna get --" Parker tries to close the door, but Veronica blocks it with her foot "-- old." That Veronica, shes bold.
Giving up, Parker lets Veronica in. With faux excitement, she asks her if she wants to have a rap session in their PJs. They can eat brownie batter and do each other's nails! Veronica doesn't think Parker is being fair, and asks her if she really thinks Veronica wanted her to get raped. Parker accuses her of thinking that she's a whore that was simply asking for it. Veronica counter's with, "lots of people think I'm a whore." Parker drops the sarcasm and warns Veronica not to pretend like she understands. Defensively, Veronica says that she understand exactly how Parker's feeling. She's been understanding since Shelly Pomroy's end of the year party, summer 2004. Okay, I love that Veronica has decided to share this private part of her past with Parker, but I could have done without the glaring continuity error. In M.A.D., Veronica says that she was raped on December 7, 2003, implying that it was an end of the year party (albeit a slightly early one), not end of the school year. I'm willing to overlook the error, though, because this really is a great scene. It reminds me of the fantastic back-and-forth we had between Veronica and Jackie last season. Is Parker quite on the level of Jackie's snarkiness? No, but I take what I can get.
Parker softens a bit at Veronica's revelation, and Veronica assures her that she will catch the serial rapist. A knock on the door interrupts their conversation. It's Nish, ever the killjoy in an already bad situation. How much do you want to bet she's going to hit Parker up for an interview? Veronica warns her, "I'd be a little careful," before leaving the room. Nish tells Parker that she's doing an article -- surprise, surprise -- on the serial rapes and she's already interviewed most of the other victims. Parker interrupts Nish. She doesn't want to be interviewed. No sympathy, no "I completely understand" from Nish. I really dislike this woman. Instead, she persists and asks Parker if she remembers seeing any of the Pi Sigs at the Theta Beta party the night she was raped.
The next day, Veronica's working at the library desk when Wallace walks up with a copy of the Hearst Free Press. Veronica reads the title with interest: 'Pi Sig frat common thread in campus rapes.' Wallace says there was a Pi Sig event the night of every rape, and he shows Veronica the graphic that was printed, comparing the times of the rapes with the durations of the frat events. Claire, the latest victim, was supposedly at the Pig Sig haunted house the night she was raped. Veronica's skeptical. After all, Nish has collected this data and Veronica knows that she's biased. Still, she doesn't trust the Pi Sigs either.
That night, Keith is leaving the Mars apartment when he sees Dick lurking around outside. That's right. Dick Casablancas. I had trouble wrapping my head around this one, too. And he's looking for Veronica, which is even more bizarre. He tells Keith he's been to their complex once before when his family was picking up their maid. Word of advice, Dick? Don't burn the guy whose apartment you're trying to get into. Keith wordlessly lets him in, and Dick wipes his feet on the doormat (hee! Keith really just has no words.). Keith calls for Veronica, and as they wait, Dick comments on how "awesome" the little kitchen area is. Dick, just stop talking. We all know an 09er kitchen is at least triple in size.
Veronica walks into the room and Dick greets her with a "hey, buddy!" Another piece of advice, Dick? Veronica Mars cannot be sucked up to. He says he can't believe she's never invited him over before, even though they've known each other forever. Apparently in the lexicon of Dick, "forever" means a few years. Veronica reminds Dick that he left a flaming bag of dog poo in front her their door one time. "That was kind of a play date," she remarks with fake fondness. Keith asks her if it's time to show Dick out, but Veronica say it's fine, and Keith leaves. Veronica asks Dick what he wants, and he says the Pi Sigs are in danger of being kicked off campus because the rapes. Theres going to be a hearing. That's where she comes in, he says. Veronica asks if she gets to do the kicking. Dick grins; "You get to be the spy that loves me." He wants her to do her "Veronica thing" and clear the Pi Sigs. He says they're a frat; why rape the cow when you're swimming in free milk? Okay, if Logan's "when the milk stops being free, I stop drinking it" quip to Kendall early season two wasn't disturbing, then this definitely is.
Veronica's about to tell Dick to shove off, but she realizes that taking the case will either rule out the Pi Sigs as suspects or bring her closer to finding out who the rapist is. She informs Dick that she'll need full access to the fraternity and $1500 up front. Aw, what happened to the friend-of-a-friend rate? Veronica tells Dick to leave before she changes her mind. He hurries out of the apartment, and after the door shuts, he turns around and calls out, "thank you!" What can you say? The boy never fails to amuse.
Veronica enters the Pig Sig frat house the next day wearing a bland, not at ALL flattering pantsuit, which she says is fashion's way of saying, "Move along. Nothing to see here." Chip walks up to Veronica and reluctantly greets her. Veronica's all business, and tells him that she needs to know where each of the frat boys was when Claire was raped. Chip doesn't know why that's relevant; shouldn't she be clearing their names by looking into non-Pi Sigs? I guess Chip's sharper than Veronica gave him credit for. But he agrees to give her whatever she wants, anyway. Veronica says that the last thing Claire remembers from the night she was raped was buying a drink in front of the haunted house. He says laughingly that Charleston was serving drinks that night, but he's an idiot and she probably doesn't want to talk to him. Uh, Chip? Way to make her want to talk to him even more.
Charleston (Chu, not Chew) is an idiot, all right, and way too into his Baywatch-themed pinball. Veronica asks him if he served drinks all night. He says that though he probably gave Claire a drink, that doesn't mean he raped her. No, but it makes him the most likely suspect, so he'd better start talking if he wants the media to leave him alone. Charleston grumbles about how Veronica's supposed to be working for the frat, not against them, but when she starts walking away, he rushes after, admitting that he hasn't told her everything. He says that once the refreshment stand made $500, he was supposed to bring the cash to Chip's room, because he was in charge of the money. But when he went to his room, the door was locked and he heard noises coming from inside. When Chip opened the door, he was naked, sweaty, and not in the mood to be bothered. Veronica says it was like he caught Chip in flagrante, but Charleston doesn't know what that means. "No, in the middle of sex." Well, he's guilty of stupidity, at least ...
Another frat boy calls to their attention a protest that's taking place outside the house. Parker, Nish and Nancy (the speaker at the 'Take Back the Night' rally) are among the chanting crowd of women. "No more rapes at Hearst, Women's safety first." A shirtless Dick walks out of the house, puts his arm around Veronica's shoulder, and quotes Poltergeist. "They're heeere."
Veronica confronts Chip in the cafeteria the next day and notices that the top of his hand is bruised. He explains that he was working the Boo Room at the haunted house; it was pitch black and one of the guys accidentally stomped on it. Veronica doesn't quite believe him, but continues questioning him anyway. She asks him who he was "knocking boots" with that night, and he says he might as well not tell her, because the girl would never admit to it.
Later, Veronica finds Charleston and some girl having a make-out fest outside. He leaves and Veronica walks up to her. She lies that she's friends with Charleston, as well as her "boy on the side," Chip. Just like Chip said, the girl denies their tryst. Veronica says that she's going to have to own up to it at some point, because if she and Chip were together, then she's Chip's alibi.
Charleston's girlfriend bitchily walks away, and up comes Dick. No "hey, buddy" this time; Dick's pissed because the Pi Sigs think Veronica's coming after them instead of finding the real "raper." Poor Dick; I guess he can't speak good either. Veronica corrects him: "Rapist. Learn the terminology." Dick shrugs and Veronica notices bruising on his hand, too. She asks him about it, and he says a window fell on it. You know, if the Pi Sigs don't want Veronica accusing them, then they should try lying a little less. Dick says that the hearing is in two days, so Veronica had better hurry up with the case. She reveals that Logan told her the story about Dick showing up at his place the night Park was raped, all wrecked and saying he was messed up. Dick just says, "Whipped guys make the worst friends," and stalks off. So Dick, a rapist? Two in one household? Veronica wonders. (I think the script here is a little too casual, but I guess I can fanwank that Veronica doesn't want to think about Beaver.).
Veronica rushes up to Parker the next morning, and Parker says she can save it; she knows that Veronica's working for the Pi Sigs. Veronica corrects her; she's just trying to figure out what the frat boys are up to. Parker brings up how it looked like she and Dick were all chummy outside the frat house the other day. Veronica asks her if she knows Dick, and Parker says that he gave her his number at orientation, and that she actually thought he was cute. But then Mac told her about his showing up the night before she was raped, pounding on the door and calling out her name. She says she didn't find out about this until after she talked with Sheriff Lamb. Dick's not as harmless as he looks, Parker warns (as if you really have to tell Veronica that). He chased Nancy out of the haunted house, calling her a bitch. She says the next time Veronica and Dick are snuggling outside the frat house (Snuggling? More like Veronica stood stiffly while glaring ...), she can ask him why.
The next day, Veronica waits for Nancy outside her dorm room. Now that she's thought about it, why would Nancy attend a frat event after she'd already been raped and had given that whole spiel about the frat houses needing to be shut down? Nancy says that she went with Claire to the haunted house because she'd heard there was going to be a Grope Room (which the Pi Sigs have euphemized to the Boo Room). So she and Claire dressed as rats and placed rat traps on all their gropable parts. Veronica is impressed, but this also means that the bruises on Chip and Dick's hands were from the traps, not forced sex. Nancy says that when Dick chased her out of the frat house, that's when she lost track of Claire. She thought she saw her later down the street from the party, but when she called out her name, the girl didn't respond. Nancy says that she's already told Sheriff Lamb all of this (fat lot of good that'll do).
Later, Veronica scopes out a convenient store, outside of which is where Nancy saw the girl that looked like Claire. She walks up to the cashier and asks him if he was working last Saturday, the night Claire was raped. The man says that he works every Saturday night, so Veronica shows him a picture of Claire. He says he saw her; she was so drunk she had trouble standing. She came in with a guy, who was trying to buy condoms. He didn't have the cash on hand and needed to spend $15 to be able to use his credit card. So the cashier sent him to a nearby ATM, and they came back later and bought the condoms.
At Mars Investigations the next day, Veronica walks into Keith's office and reminds him about a case a few years ago, where he had to obtain ATM photos in order to nail the criminal. Keith explains that a representative of the bank needs to request a court order. Once it's issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos. It's so easy a monkey could do it. "So Bubbles," Veronica leans forward on his desk, "You feel like doing me a solid?"
Veronica finds the Pi Sig brothers that night as they're heading to their hearing (leave it to Veronica to make them sweat it out a little). She says that the morning after the haunted house, Claire woke up in the park at five a.m. with her head shaved. That's a little strange, since the other victims we've heard about have been raped in their bedrooms. Veronica give Chip the ATM photo that she obtained (I hope she's made a copy for herself). Claire looks wasted and there's an Asian guy standing behind her (though not directly, which makes me think that he might just have been waiting to use to machine?). The time stamp on the photo is two a.m., two hours after the haunted house closed. And since the guy in the photo isn't one of the Pi Sigs, that means they're innocent. Veronica, however, is very much guilty in the eyes of the feminists. She turns around and realizes that they've been standing there, watching her give the Pi Sigs the evidence they need to clear themselves. I'm guessing they were going to attend the hearing and watch the frat boys get nailed to the wall, one by one. Veronica walks by the group of women without a word. What is she supposed to say? She was doing her job, but they refuse to believe that the rapist is someone other than a frat boy.
Parker confronts Veronica the next day and gives her the news about the Pi Sigs being absolved. Veronica justifies what she did; she was looking for the truth and the truth is that the frat wasn't involved. "You want to nail someone to wall, just to have them nailed there," she asks Parker, "or do you want the person responsible to pay?"

"Never Lonely Alone" (Space Needle)
Scene: Sigh, poor woobie Logan. He just wants some family to love.

LoVe Lines
(Veronica opens the apartment door to see Logan standing on the porch.)
Logan: You were expecting Sidney Poitier?
Veronica: (Stepping out of the apartment and closing the door behind her.) Mmhmm. No jokes. No innuendos, no quips, don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers. (Waves her fingers at Logan.)
Logan: (Amused.) Can I mention that my eyes adored you? (Off Veronica's exasperated look.) I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
Veronica: (Despairingly.) Go home.
Logan: (In a reassuring voice.) Veronica, I won't say anything bad.
(Veronica holds out her hand, Logan takes it, they smile at each other and she leads him into the apartment.)
Keith: (As he, Veronica, and Logan are eating dinner.) So how's school going, Logan?
Logan: Well, I'm actually not hating it. My grades aren't exactly --
Veronica: (Cutting Logan off.) Oh, Hearst took him in late because of his high test scores.
Keith: What classes are you taking?
Veronica: Where is this going?
Keith: My end game is to find out what classes Logan is taking.
Logan: Just core stuff. You know, sociology, freshman comp, mass comm, which is kind of coming in handy. You know, apparently being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old. I'm getting all these interview requests. Larry King wants me to come on with O.J.'s kids.
Keith: Oh, are you thinking about it?
Logan: No.
Keith: Why's that?
Veronica: (A little irrationally, making a slashing motion with her arm.) Time out. Whew! Can we stay in the shallow end, please?
Keith: (To Logan.) I'm sorry. I think it's a good call, I was just curious as to your reasons. (Turning to Veronica.) I didn't realize I had to have the conversation vetted.
Veronica: I would have been happy to veto questions for you ahead of time.
(Logan looks back and forth between them with amusement.)
Keith: Mmm, that would have been nice, huh?
Veronica: We could have packed a lunch and made a day of it!
Keith: Missed opportunity, if you ask me.
Veronica: A mistake you can learn from.
(Logan looks at Veronica adoringly.)
Keith: What exactly am I allowed to ask Logan about?
Veronica: (A little stumped, glances at Logan then back at Keith.) Hobbies?
Logan: (After Veronica and Keith turn to look at him in unison.) Surfing?
Keith: What's the attraction?
Veronica: (Jumping in before Logan can speak.) Don't ... answer that. (Keith exhales loudly and rolls his eyes.)
Veronica: (As the Neptune Grand elevator doors open on her and Logan.) You're not showing me porn ...
Logan: No.
Veronica: Is it ... a fuzzy, newborn kitten?
Logan: (As the pair exit the elevator and approach the suite door.) Look, the meeting with Avi Kaufman, bean counter to the stars, didn't go very well. My trust fund's evaporating faster than it should, I think he's skimming off the top.
Veronica: My dad has got a great accountant.
Logan: (Opening the door.) Ehh, I think I need more of a private detective to help me nail this guy to the wall.
Veronica: Well, show me the records, I'm sure I can make sense of ... (Breaks off as she looks past Logan to the boxes piled on the floor in his suite.)
Logan: (With a smirk.) Go get 'em, bobcat.
Harmony: (Smiling.) Veronica? The liberator of lobsters?
Logan: (Smiling, adoringly.) Oh, I never knew.
Veronica: A single lobster. Once. From the Chart House, when I seven. He tells that one to all the new clients.
Logan: (To Veronica.) Hey, sorry I took so long. I went out for Thai and ended up getting a massage. You should have been more specific.
Logan: Hey, you think I should dangle Kaufman out a window by his ankles?
Veronica: How about you numb your fury with grease and fat until I can do a little more homework?
Logan: Reason, huh? I'm not sure I like it.
Veronica: Here's a fun thing to say to your beau. Mind if I go put the screws to someone?
Logan: (Smiling.) Go ahead. Screw your brains out.
Logan: (To Veronica.) Perfect timing. I think lonely telescope guys getting tired of me just mooning him.
Veronica: Hey, careful man! There's a beverage here. (Logan kisses her head) You doing O.K.?
Logan: On top of the world, looking down on creation.
Veronica: Saw you on Larry King last night giving your half-brother a little coming out party. Life as Charlie Stone knew it is officially over.
Logan: I'm choking with empathy. He served me up to the Vanity Fair reporter and brought it on himself.
Veronica: We don't know that for sure.
Logan: Well, how else would it have happened?
Logan: Well, I'm glad you went digging. You know, officially erased any and all romantic notions about my family.
Veronica: (Somewhat guiltily.) That's me. All sorts of helpful.
Logan: I was hoping you could bust some of that out again and help me find Norman Phipps.
Veronica: Why?
Logan: Well, I gave him a pocket watch that belonged to my grandfather -- the only decent member of my family. Course he died when I was five, so who knows? Still. Kind of burns thinking of Norman having it.
Veronica: In my world the wicked don't get parting gifts.
Veronica: The reporter acted alone. He was tapping Charlie's line when you called. Your real half brother is innocent.
Logan: I was so quick to believe that guy. (Sadly.) You know, I look at you and your dad -- you know, that thing that you have? I never had that.
Veronica: You couldn't have known.
Logan: Not sure that'll matter to him.
Quotable Quotes
Veronica: (Watching Keith prepare dinner.) This is a bad idea.
Keith: No, it's not.
Veronica: You only think it's not because you came up with it.
Keith: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me plus idea equals good. (Someone knocks on the door, Veronica goes to answer it.)
Parker: (Letting Veronica into her room.) What ... you wanna have a rap session? Maybe in our pj's? We can eat brownie batter and do each other's nails!
Veronica: Do you really think that when I walked in here that night I really thought "Hmm, look, Parker's getting raped. Now where are those movie tickets!?"
Parker: Noo. You just figured the whore was getting her freak on.
Veronica: So ... you're really mad because I thought you were a whore? Because lots of people think I'm a whore.
Wallace: (Approaching Veronica at the library help desk.) I liked the other place you worked better.
Veronica: Think maybe that's because we had food there?
Wallace: (Handing Veronica the school paper.) There's a little graphic and everything.
Veronica: Colored ink! It must be true!
Keith: (Walking out of the Mars' apartment and spotting Dick.) Can I help you?
Dick: Do you know which one of these is Veronica's? (Recognizing Keith.) Oh! Guess so. This is so freaky. I've totally been to this complex before - we had to pick up our maid here once. Is Veronica home? (Keith opens the door, Dick wipes his feet on the mat several times.)
Keith: Honey?
Dick: Ah, it's like a little kitchen area, huh? Oh, that's awesome.
Veronica: (Entering the living room and addressing Keith.) If you're not gonna shoo it out with a paper, I'm stepping on it.
Dick: Hey, buddy! Hope it's not weird me just showing up. I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over.
Veronica: You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time. That was kinda of a play-date. (Dick chuckles and glances uncomfortably at Keith.)
Keith: You need me to ...
Veronica: Its fine. (Keith leaves.)
Dick: You guys are cute.
Veronica: Dick, why are you here?
Dick: You saw that article about the Pi Sig house, right? That girl Claire gets raped after one of our parties and suddenly school is all in a bunch. There's, like, this hearing scheduled to try and get us kicked off campus - and that's where you come in.
Veronica: I get to do the kickin'?
Dick: You get to be the Spy Who Loves Me. The guys were really impressed on how you cleared the frat of the rape last year.
Veronica: Were they? That means so little.
Dick: They know we had, like, this connection, so they sent me here to hire you. We need you to prove it's a pack o' lies.
Veronica: Is it? A pack of lies?
Dick: We're a frat. Why rape the cow if youre swimming in free milk?
Veronica: Maybe you guys should hire someone you don't disgust.
Dick: They don't care about the disgusted thing. They want you.
Veronica: (She considers this and has a light-bulb moment.) I'll need full access to the fraternity. I'll need to know everything about the night of the haunted house. My fee is $1500, up front.
Dick: Really? (Looking around the apartment.) That's what you guys make?
Veronica: That's the Pi Sig rate.
Dick: Okay.
Veronica: And you'll need to leave right now before I change my mind. (Dick beats a hasty retreat.)
Veronica Mars Voiceover: Who knew that when opportunity knocked it would look like an horny surfer?
Dick: (Giving two thumbs up through the glass in the door.) Thank you.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: And he hand delivered an invitation into the belly of the beast.
Harmony: (Over Keith's cell phone) Hello.
Keith: Hi, its Keith Mars.
Harmony: Can I guess? She's blonde, 22, no visible pores, and pierced navel.
Keith: Nope. Nope. Looks like he's really working late. I've been parked by his car all night.
Harmony: Really? Huh.
Keith: The office on the bottom floor, right?
Harmony: Yeah. So, you're just sitting there looking at his car.
Keith: Yeah, its glamorous, I know.
Harmony: At least it's your job. I did it a couple weeks ago for sport, I was so sure he was cheating I decided to follow him. I wore a hat and sunglasses! Not my finest hour.
Keith: Yeah, well, no more I Love Lucy reruns for you.
Harmony: We should have a bet. If she's blonde and 22, you owe me a beer.
Keith: Good-night, Harmony.
Harmony: Good-night.
Keith: (Walking into the Mars' kitchen.) My accountant said she'd be finished looking over Logan's files this afternoon.
Veronica: (Looking at Keith and whistles.) Snazzy.
Keith: (Giving Veronica a look.) Did we start going to church or are you addressing the Junior League?
Veronica: Bland is the new hot.
Keith: Is it possible your boyfriends financial problems are just his "champagne wishes and caviar dreams" biting him on the ass?
Veronica: One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of man servants and suddenly he's spendy. (Gets a whiff of Keith.) Umm, did you trip and fall onto sandalwood, musk, and a hint of spicy citrus, or is that cologne?
Keith: It's aftershave. I'm going to Traffic Court.
Veronica: Sexy Traffic Court?
Keith: (Glancing at Veronica's feet.) Nice shoes. You change your major to Woman's Studies?
Veronica: Ha! Yuck it up, Fancy Pants.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: When entering a frat house full of accused rapists, the pantsuit is a solid wardrobe choice. Its fashion's way of saying: Move along, there's nothing to see here.
Veronica: Your last name is Chu?
Charleston: Yeah.
Veronica: (With a queer look.) Charleston ... Chu?
Charleston: Once the bank for the refreshment stand reached $500, we were supposed to bring it up to Chip's room, right, 'cause he's in charge of the cash. So I did, but his door was locked. I heard noises, I started knocking, and then Chip like, whips open the door all pissed off and outta breath.
Veronica: 'Cause that's where his Stairmaster is?
Charleston: He was buck-naked and sweaty, like I caught him in ...
Veronica: Flagrante?
Charleston: No. In the middle of sex.
Dick: (Putting arm around Veronica, as they face protestors.) They're heeere.
Veronica (To Chip.): Whoah. What happened to your mitts? Let me guess. It involved a cookie jar.
Veronica: You and Chip. Weren't you his date to the haunted house? I hear you went as the beast with two backs.
Dick: You're torturing me.
Veronica: (Smiling) Without even trying? God, I'm good.
Dick: My brothers are all sorts of pissed. They think you're coming after them instead of trying to find the real raper.
Veronica: Do you mean rapist? Learn the terminology!
Dick: The hearing is in two days. So go work your little pixie spy magic and fix this!
Dick: Whipped guys make the worst friends.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: So Dick, a rapist? Two in the same household? Possibly. Quarterbacks seem to run in the Manning family. I know Logan's always worried about being genetically predestined for antisocial behavior.
Veronica: (Slightly out of breath.) Parker! Hey!
Parker: Save your performance. I know you're working for the Pi Sigs.
Veronica: I'm not working for the Pi Sigs. I'm working for you.
Parker: (Sarcastically.) Yeah.
Veronica: I'm just using this opportunity to get close to them, so I can figure out what they're up to.
Parker: Yeah, and you're trying to find out who raped me by hugging it out with Dick Casablancas?!
Veronica: Can I talk to you?
Nancy: Aren't you a little busy doing funnel shots with the Pi Sigs?
Veronica: Aren't you? Heard you went to their haunted house. That must have been fun! Did you go as a hypocrite?
Nancy: We dressed up as rats and strategically put rat traps on all of our gropable parts.
Veronica: ... Okay, that is pretty genius.
Veronica: Hi, I was wondering --
Store Clerk: I'm not hiring.
Store Clerk: They came back later, he bought his raincoat; one less bastard child conceived by morons. (Veronica's eyes widen comically.) Everyone's hap-py.
Fake Charlie/Norman: Then on my tenth birthday my mom takes me to see Aaron Echolls in Thought Police. She points to the screen, she says, 'That's the guy, that's your dad.'
Logan: She took you to see Thought Police on your birthday? Did she hate you?
Fake Charlie/Norman: I'm like, mom don't screw with my head, I can't deal with the fact that the guy mind wrestling with Stallone on screen knocked you up.
Fake Charlie/Norman: I'd see pictures of your family and think that life (Pointing to Logan, then himself.) should be mine.
Logan: Nah, you don't want it. Trust me.
Fake Charlie/Norman: No, I know, that's the thing. The more I watched, the more happy I became that it wasn't my family. Your dad cheats on your mom, it's on the cover of People. Your sister shoots Nicole Richie with a BB gun, Jay Leno opens his monologue with it. Then murder ... I started wondering if something was wrong with me, you know? If this is my bloodline? (They share a long look until Logan looks away.)
Logan: Yeah, join the club.
Logan: (To Veronica, beaming with pride) Well, Charlie has to go home and grade papers. He's got an honest job. He's a contributing member of society. Very un-Echolls.
Logan: You surf?
Fake Charlie: As often and as long as I can.
Logan: (Grinning stupidly) Man ... we are brothers.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: I have options. I could be excited for Logan -- thrilled even -- that his new brother is such a keeper. Or ... I could be me.
Logan: (Logan and Fake Charlie are straddling their surf boards in flat water.) So it's Christmas, right? The entire family unit is around ... which is rare. You know, I don't know, I'm nine. And Aaron hands me a gift but he notices the box has been rewrapped -- so he knows I peeked. I'm nine years old and he's regifting me a fruitbasket! Starts shouting about how I've ruined Christmas.
Fake Charlie/Norman: Oh my God.
Logan: Yeah. Then he tells me I'm not opening another gift until I eat all twelve pears in the box.
Fake Charlie: Damn, man. The scissors incident, the drained swimming pool episode and now a box of pears?
Logan: So I'm eating the pears and taking my time, (Smirking mischievously.) taking these dainty bites ... (His smile fading.) The man comes unhinged ... takes these pears and just starts shoving them down my throat one after another and then ... then I'm choking but he doesn't stop until my mom holds a cheese knife to his throat. To this day, I puke if I smell a pear.
Logan: (walking with Fake Charlie, spots Veronica and uses a hick accent.) Quick, Jim, hide them hookers!
Veronica: So, Norman, how's your story coming?
Norman: (After sharing a look with Logan, he smiles.) Great. In fact, I'm almost there, just one thing: Logan, that fruit basket? Was it from Harry & David? God is in the details. (Logan glares and moves toward him.) Oh, please take a swing, it'd make a great lead. (Logan stops. Thinks. Smiles darkly. Punches Norman across the face.)
Veronica: Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you "obtain" the ATM photos that proved it?
Keith: I know a guy. (Veronica gives him a look that clearly says "And...") A representative of the bank needs to request a court order and once the court order is issued it only takes about an hour to get the photos.
Veronica: So it's a piece of cake.
Keith: A monkey with a friend who's a bank representative can do it.
Veronica: (Leaning on Keith's desk) So Bubbles, you feel like doin' me a solid? Hmmm?
Veronica: Hello Chip, Dick. Faceless Star Trek crew members.
Veronica: Voila ... proof of innocence. Courtesy of pixie spy magic.
Veronica Voiceover: Hmmm. When did the Greek chorus of feminist shame arrive?
Parker: (With faux enthusiasm.) Good news! The Pi Sigs were absolved.
Veronica: Because they were innocent.
Parker: Because you helped them. Which is what you were trying to do all along. How do you live with yourself?
Veronica: I was looking for the truth ... and I found it. You wanna nail someone to the wall just to have them nailed there or do you want the person responsible to pay?
Veronica: Hey there fake Charlie! You weren't expecting to see me again, were you? Can I come in? (Pushes past him into his hotel room.)
Norman: Look, I was just doing my job. None of it matters anyway. The magazine dropped the story when Larry King scooped them.
Veronica: (Smiling somewhat diabolically.) That was the plan.
Charlie's Voicemail: Hi, this is Charlie. Please leave a message. (Machine beeps.)
Logan: (Tentatively.) Hey, Charlie, it's Logan again. Um, listen, I'm sorry about my messages. I guess I thought I'd give it another shot. Third time's a charm, right?

Charlie Don't Surf ... (Referenced by the episode title.)
The reference refers to a famous quote from the 1979 Vietnam War film Apocalypse Now, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. "Charlie" refers to the members of the American forces typically referred to members of the National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam , also known as "Viet Cong." the name comes from the US Armed Forces' phonetic alphabet's pronunciation of VC ("Victor Charlie").
The particular scene is when the patrol boat arrives at a Landing Zone where Captain Benjamin L. Willard (Martin Sheen) and his crew meet up with Lt. Colonel Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall), the eccentric commander of the regional AirCav unit, following a massive and hectic mopping-up operation of a conquered enemy town. Kilgore, a keen surfer, befriends Johnson, one of Willard's unit. Later, he learns from one of his men that the beach down the coast which marks the opening to the river is perfect for surfing, a factor which persuades him to capture it.
The problem is, his troops say, it is "Charlie's point" and heavily fortified. Dismissing this complaint with the explanation that "Charlie don't surf!" Kilgore orders his men to saddle up in the morning so that the AirCav can capture the town and the beach. Riding high above the coast in a fleet of Hueys accompanied by H-6s, Kilgore launches an attack on the beach. The scene, famous for its use of Richard Wagner's epic "Ride of the Valkyries," ends with the soldiers surfing the barely claimed beach amidst skirmishes between infantry and VC. After helicopters swoop over the village and demolish all visible signs of resistance, a giant napalm strike in the nearby jungle dramatically marks the climax of the battle. Kilgore exults to Willard in a famous speech:
- "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like ... victory. You smell that? Do you smell that? Napalm, son! Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
- CHORUS
Charlie don't surf and we think he should
Charlie don't surf and you know that it ain't no good
Charlie don't surf for his hamburger Momma
Charlie's gonna be a napalm star
Everybody wants to rule the world
Must be something we get from birth
One truth is we never learn
Satellites will make space burn
We've been told to keep the strangers out
We don't like them starting to hang around
We don't like them all over town
Across the world we are going to blow them down
CHORUS
The reign of the super powers must be over
So many armies can't free the earth
Soon the rock will roll over
Africa is choking on their Coca Cola
It's a one a way street in a one horse town
One way people starting to brag around
You can laugh, put them down
These one way people gonna blow us down
CHORUS
Charlie don't surf he'll never learn
Charlie don't surf though he's got a gun
Charlie don't surf think that he should
Charlie don't surf we really think he should
Charlie don't surf
Charlie don't surf and we think he should
Charlie don't surf and you know that it ain't no good
Charlie don't surf for his hamburger Momma
Charlie don't surf
Born on February 20, 1927, Sir Sidney Poitier is a Bahamian American Academy Award-winning actor (film and stage), film director, and activist. He has been hailed as a breakthrough star thanks to acclaimed performances, which, by consciously defying racial stereotyping, gave a new dramatic credibility for black actors to mainstream film audiences in the Western world.
Poitier was born on the high seas en route to Miami, a routine trip his parents made between Florida and their farm on Cat Island in the Bahamas. After troubled teenage years where he displayed delinquent tendencies, he was sent to live with his brother in Florida, two years later at age 18 he moved to New York City and tried his hand at theater. Originally rejected, he worked on his acting and getting rid of his Bahamian accent. After six months, he succeeded enough and landed a leading role in the Broadway production, Lysistrata, for which his reviews were excellent. Eventually he was able to choose leading roles on stage and then film. Poitier's breakout role came as a member of an incorrigible high school class in the 1955 film Blackboard Jungle -- despite being twenty-seven at the time of filming. He went onto win the Academy Award for Best Actor for the 1963 film Lilies of the Field; Poitier was the first actor of African descent to win this award.
In 1974, he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II (by right and recommendation of his Bahamian citizenship) and in 2000, he received the Life Achievement Award from the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), in 2002 he received an Honorary Academy Award for his lifetime achievement in the film industry from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Poitier has been married twice, the first was to Juanita Hardy from April 29, 1950 until 1965. He has four children from that actress. On January 23, 1976, he married Joanna Shimkus, a Canadian-born former actress of Lithuanian descent, and he has two children from this marriage. His fifth youngest child is actress Sydney Tamiia Poitier who many Veronica Mars fans may remember from her short stint during the first season as journalism teacher, Mallory Dent.

A Young Poitier, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner DVD cover and Poitier with former
Veronica Mars cast member, daughter, Sydney Tamiia Poitier.
The direct reference to Sir Poitier in Logan's line comes from one of his most famous films, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, This is a famous 1967 dramedy starring Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, Poitier and Katharine Houghton. The 1967 groundbreaking story dealt with the controversial subject of interracial marriage which had been illegal historically in most of the United States, and was still illegal in seventeen Southern U.S. States up until June 12 of that year. The story revolved around Joanna Drayton, a young white American woman (Houghton) who has had a whirlwind romance with Dr. Prentice (Poitier), an African American she met while on a holiday in Hawaii. The two plan to marry and she will return with him to Switzerland. The plot is centered on Joanna's return to her liberal upper class American home bringing her new fianc to dinner to meet her parents, and the reaction of family and friends.
My Eyes Adored You ... (Referenced by Logan to Veronica when listing things he can't say to Keith.)
Written by Bob Crewe and Kenny Nolan, "My Eyes Adored You" is a popular romantic ballad originally recorded by Frankie Valli -- lead singer of the Four Seasons) and released in the fall of 1974. The song was the only number one hit for Valli outside of the group, despite this, the solo is often included on Four Seasons compilations. The dreamy lyrics (Oh, Logan!) are below:
- My eyes adored you
Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far away
Carried your books from school,
Playing make-believe you're married to me:
You were fifth grade, I was sixth
When we came to be
Walking home every day over Barnegat Bridge and Bay,
Till we grew into the me and you
Who went our separate ways
My eyes adored you
Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far
Headed for city lights,
Climbed the ladder up to fortune and fame,
I worked my fingers to the bone,
Made myself a name.
Funny, I seem to find that, no matter how the years unwind,
Still I reminisce about the girl I miss
And the love I left behind...
My eyes adored you
Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far
All my life I will remember how warm and tender
We were way back then
Though I'm feeling sad regrets I know I won't ever forget
You, my childhood friend
My eyes adored you
Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far
Bobcat ... (Referenced by Logan (twice) as a nickname for Veronica.)
The bobcat (Lynx rufus, or commonly felis rufus), although it does not bare the family name is a distinct species in the Lynx genus. However, it is often smaller and although it shares many of the common lynx characteristics, it can be differentiated from the lynx in a number of ways. The bobcat has less pronounced ear tufts and cheek ruffs, a dark tip covering only the top of its 'stumpy' tail, much smaller feet, and a generally more patterned and varied coat coloration. Ground fur colour ranges from light grey, through yellowish brown to reddish brown and markings vary from 'tabby' stripes to heavy spotting. In general, bobcats found in the southern parts of their range are darker and smaller, whilst cats in the north are usually paler and larger. The bobcat is named for its short, bobbed tail and they average seventeen to twenty-three inches in height and twenty-five to forty-one inches in length. The male generally weighs sixteen to twenty-eight pounds, while the female weights on average ten to eighteen pounds. Today, there are approximately 725,000 to a little over a million bobcats in the wild and their status as an endangered species is vulnerable for two main reasons.
They are hunted and trapped for their fur throughout much of their range. Between 1991 to 1992, about 22,000 pelts were sold and traded. They also have a reputation as sheep killers in Mexico where they are frequently killed by farmers. However, a bobcat diet consists of rabbits, squirrels, mice, gophers, rats and fish, although they are good at catching all their prey because of their hunting ability. The bobcat does not kill healthy large prey -- unless desperate -- which works out well for the environment, as the death of this sick animals cuts down the spread of disease.

The mating ritual of the bobcat is similar to that domesticated house cats; however, there is generally a timeline as mating usually occurs in late winter. Cubs are often born in early spring after a fifty to seventy day gestation period. Much like house cats, litter sizes vary from one to six cubs and they have one litter a year. After giving birth, a mother bobcat will only hunt right around her den and not all of her hunting territory. Weaning the kittens by three months, she first brings back killed animals. Once they're used to eating meat, the mother brings back live prey so that her young can practice hunting and killing. The litter stays by their mother's side for a year.
If you're wondering where in heaven's name Logan came up with this as a nickname for Veronica, take note of one more factoid about the animal. I'd say it fits our Miss Mars to a tee. Despite the bobcat's cute appearance, it is actually very fierce and can take down those much more powerful than it. Yuppers, that's our Veronica.
Larry King ... (Referenced by Logan when answering Keith about one of his classes/Later by Logan about going on the show.)
Born Lawrence Harvey Zeiger on November 19, 1933, Larry King is the host of the CNN nightly interview show, Larry King Live. King has received many broadcasting awards. He won the Peabody Award for Excellence in broadcasting for both his radio (1982) and television (1992) shows. He has also won 10 CableACE awards for Best Interviewer and for best Talk Show Series. Larry King Live The show broadcasts from Los Angeles from CNN's studios. Sometimes, the show broadcasts from CNN's studios in New York and sometimes from Washington, the city where King gained national prominence during his years as a radio interviewer for the Mutual Broadcasting System. Each studio set features an identical colored-dot map of the world in the background and one of King's trademarks, a vintage RCA microphone, on the desk.

King is often criticized for the soft questions he asks in comparison to other tougher interviews. He claims that he slips harder questions in between the softball ones when appropriate and says that the secret to a good interview is to get the guest to talk about themselves with the interviewer in the background.
O.J. Simpson ... (Referenced by Logan when answering Keith about one of his classes.)
Prior to 1994, OJ (Orenthal James) Simpson or "The Juice" lived a charmed life. He was a renowned running back, winning the Heisman Trophy, playing for both the Buffalo Bills and the San Francisco 49ers, earning All-Pro honors 5 times, and, later, being inducted into the Football Hall of Fame. Even now, many consider him to be one of the greatest running backs of all time. He also was, not a good actor, but *an* actor. Okay, so maybe even actor is still a wee bit of an overestimation. Simpson starred in The Klansman (1974), The Towering Inferno (1974), Cassandra Crossing (1976), Capricorn One (1978), Naked Gun (1988) Naked Gun 2 1/2 (1991) and Naked Gun 33 1/3(1994).
Then in 1994, the history of OJ Simpson took on a different flavor.
His ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ron Goldman, were found murdered in her home. Rather than sit for questioning or face the police (like a man with nothing to hide might do), OJ decided that his best course of action was to take off in his now infamous white Bronco. Soon all of America was tuned in as the police slow-chased after one of its most well-known sports heroes.
Eventually, he was caught and charged. OJ assembled a "dream team" of the nation's top defense attorneys who not only got him off with catchy phrases like, "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit," but also made the DA and the police look a bit incompetent. It should have been a "can't lose" case for the prosecution. Yet between the police planting evidence, racism on the part of the head investigator, OJ's fame, the media frenzy, and the brilliant misdirection of Mr. Johnny Cochran, OJ went free. Although this was a murder trial, and therefore should have been taken seriously, it was not. It actually just became a forum for spectacle and a target for public mockery. Particularly, as the entire thing was played out on television.
His children are Sydney Brooke Simpson (born October 17, 1985) and Justin Ryan Simpson (born August 6, 1988).
Bakersfield ... (Referenced by Parker to Veronica about Mac's location.)
Bakersfield is the county seat of Kern County, California, in the United States. As of the 2000 census, the city population was 247,057. As of 2006 the population is estimated to be around 312,000 within the city limits making it the 11th largest municipality in California and 59th largest city in the nation (as of latest US Census estimates). The greater Bakersfield area numbers around 451,800 including unincorporated areas, according to local municipal sources. It is California's third largest inland city after Fresno and Sacramento.
Bakersfield's economy thrives on agriculture, petroleum extraction and refining. It is one of the fastest growing of the larger cities of the United States. Top producing area crops include cotton, carrots, table grapes, almonds, pistachios, citrus, wheat, garlic, and potatoes. Local oil fields include the prolific 100-year old Kern River field, the Midway-Sunset field, the former Naval Petroleum Reserve at Elk Hills, the Kern Front field, and the Belridge field.

In the 1950s, local country musicians such as Buck Owens, Merle Haggard and Wynn Stewart helped invent a rock and roll-influenced country music style called the Bakersfield sound. Their influence was so great that Bakersfield is second only to Nashville, Tennessee, in country music fame. Bakersfield continues to produce famous country music artists.
Despite its country music fame, Bakersfield has also turned out its fair share of hard rock, most notably Korn, Burning Image and Adema. The Christian community can also enjoy national performing Gospel artists, such as Flicker Records recording artist Royal Ruckus and Southern Gospel artist The Lighthouse Boys. Because of this the city's nickname is "California's Country Music Capital."
Tolstoy ... (Referenced by Veronica to the student looking for a book.)
Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy, or Leo Tolstoy, as most would know him as, was born September 9, 1828 and died November 20, 1910. He was a Russian novelist, philosopher, Christian anarchist, pacifist and educational reformer. Tolstoy is widely regarded as one of the greatest of all novelists, particularly noted for his masterpieces War and Peace and Anna Karenina; in their scope, breadth and realistic depiction of Russian life, the two books stand at the peak of realistic fiction.
To find out everything you ever wanted to know about Leo Tolstoy, visit http://www.ltolstoy.com/. It is filled with his words, his history and the beauty of his life.
Turgenev ... (Referenced by Veronica to the student looking for a book.)
Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev (November 9, 1818 September 3, 1883) was a major Russian novelist and playwright. His novel Fathers and Sons is regarded as a defining work of 19th-century fiction and is his most famous work. This novel had, as major themes, an examination of how fathers and sons war, a focus on how class struggle influences history, and most especially the idea of nihilism as a philosophy. Turgenev didnt invent the concept, but was the first writer to explore it. "A nihilist is a man who does not bow to any authorities, who does not take any principle on trust, no matter with what respect that principle is surrounded." (from Fathers and Sons, 1862)
Nihilism is the belief that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. It is often associated with extreme pessimism and a radical skepticism that condemns existence. A true nihilist would believe in nothing, have no loyalties, and no purpose other than, perhaps, an impulse to destroy.
Turgenev was not only a novelist, but also a poet, and playwright who was known for his detailed descriptions about the everyday live in Russia in the 19th century. Turgenev portrayed realistically the peasantry and the rising intelligentsia in its attempt to move the country into a new age. Although Turgenev has been overshadowed by his contemporaries Fyodor Dostoevsky and Leo Tolstoy, he remains one of the major figures of the 19th-century Russian literature.
The Spy Who Loved Me ... (Referenced by Dick to Veronica about clearing his fraternity.)
Published in 1962, The Spy Who Loved Me is the tenth novel in author Ian Fleming's James Bond series. Something of a departure from the rest of the series, in its brevity, sexual explicitness and limited focus on the British secret service agent, the book was poorly received by both fans and critics. The story is told in the first-person narrative by "Vivienne Michel" (who was given "co-author" credit), a young Canadian woman whose disastrous love affairs lead her on a journey through America. Eventually, she lands a job running a motel in the Adirondack Mountains. About two-thirds of the way into the book, Bond makes his first appearance in the story and gets entangled with Vivienne's troubles with some dangerous mobsters.
A condensed version of The Spy Who Loved Me was later published in Stag magazine under the title "Motel Nymph." It was also the last Ian Fleming story to be adapted as a daily comic strip for the British Daily Express, although changes were made to replace Vivienne's story with more adventures for James Bond.


Ian Fleming eventually sold the film rights to the novel, but on the condition that only the title, and not any of the story, would be used. The Spy Who Loved Me, directed by Lewis Gilbert, was released in 1977 as the tenth film in the series and the third film starring Roger Moore as Commander James Bond. The film's pre-production was a troubled one. Long-time producer Harry Saltzman was forced to back out due to financial difficulties; the film's first director, Guy Hamilton, left to direct Superman: The Movie; the script went through several rewrites; and the original villain, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, had to be changed due to an injunction filed by the owner of the film rights to Thunderball. Eventually, the script was completed by Christopher Wood, who would go on to write the first James Bond film novelization, James Bond, The Spy Who Loved Me.
In the film, James Bond is forced to team up with one of his Soviet counterparts, Major Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach), aka Agent Triple X. They are on a mission to prevent World War III from being started by the villainous Karl Stromberg (Curd Jrgens), who has stolen British and Soviet submarines armed with ballistic missiles. Although the film was, as stipulated by Fleming, completely different from his novel, one minor yet memorable element did make its way into the film. The steel capped teeth of the assassin giant Jaws (Richard Kiel) were also a feature of one of the novel's villains, Sol Horror. Jaws later reappeared in the Bond film, Moonraker.
Budgeted at only $14 million, the film made $185.4 million dollars worldwide. The hit title song, "Nobody Does It Better," was performed by Carly Simon and was listed as #67 on the American Film Institute's 100 Years...100 Songs list of the top movie songs of all time.
Belly of the Beast ... (Referenced during a Veronica voiceover about getting into fraternity.)
The phrase "The Belly of the Beast" is first recorded in 1614 by Ben Jonson, an English Renaissance dramatist, poet and actor, in his play Bartholomew Fair, wherein he wrote:
- "What do you say to a drum, sir? It is the broken belly of the beast, and thy bellows there are his lungs, and these pipes are his throat, those feathers are of his tail, and thy rattles the gnashing of his teeth."
- "And the noise was in the beast's belly like unto the questing of thirty couple hounds."
The latest pop culture reference to the phrase is the 2003 action movie, Belly of the Beast starring Steven Seagal about an ex-CIA agent on a quest to find his kidnapped daughter.
I Love Lucy ... (Referenced by Keith to Harmony about her disguise.)
I Love Lucy, a CBS television sitcom that aired in the 1950's, was the most popular American sitcom of its generation and is still considered by viewers and experts alike to be one of the greatest television series of all time. It starred comedienne Lucille Ball, her actor/orchestra leader husband Desi Arnaz, stage actress Vivian Vance and movie character actor William Frawley. The series ran from October 15, 1951 to May 6, 1957 on CBS, airing a total of one hundred and eighty episodes, including the "lost" Christmas episode.

Set in New York City, I Love Lucy is centered around Lucy Ricardo (Ball), a housewife, her husband Ricky Ricardo (Arnaz), who is a singer and bandleader, and their friends and landlords Fred and Ethel Mertz (Frawley and Vance). Lucy Ricardo is a loving if somewhat nave housewife with an ambitious character who has a knack for getting herself into trouble due to her obsession with joining her husband in show business. Fred and Ethel are themselves former vaudevillians, which strengthens Lucy's resolve to prove herself as a performer. Although Lucy clearly lacks any form of artistic or managerial talent, she is determined to show everyone around her that she is much more than an ordinary housewife.
A typical I Love Lucy episode involves one of Lucy's ambitious but hare-brained schemes. She usually ends up in some comedic mess, often dragging in Ethel as her reluctant companion. The episode that Keith was likely referring to in his comment to Harmony was "LA At Last" where Lucy accidentally causes a waiter at The Brown Derby to heave a pie in William Holden's face. Later at the hotel, Ricky surprises Lucy by bringing one of her favorite actors to meet her -- William Holden. Fearing he would recognize her, she puts on a poor disguise that includes a putty nose which she inadvertently sets on fire while trying to light a cigarette.
This show was ranked #2 on TV Guide's top 50 greatest shows of all time in 2002, behind Seinfeld and ahead of The Honeymooners. Episodes of I Love Lucy are still syndicated on television in dozens of languages across the world. Over the six years the show aired, it was nominated for over twenty Emmy awards both for the show itself, the writing and cast performances. It won a total of five Emmy awards. Notably, Desi Arnaz was the only main cast member to never receive a nomination.
Champagne and Caviar Dreams / Robin Leach ... (Referenced by Keith to Veronica about Logan's spending.)
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous was a television series that ran from 1984 to 1995. It featured the extravagant lifestyles of wealthy entertainers, athletes, and business moguls. Hosted by Robin Leach alone until 1994, Shari Belafonte joined him in 1994, and the show was renamed Lifestyles with Robin Leach and Shari Belafonte.
The buzz created by the show when it first appeared was so loud that Leach became a mini-celebrity on his own and his catchphrase about the rich and famous that closed the show was repeated and parodied everywhere. That phrase was of course was Leach's wish that his audience would have "champagne wishes and caviar dreams." In fact, the line itself is now practically synonymous with fabulously wealthy people. Its entry into pop culture lexicon inspired the producers to commission a new theme song in 1988 (performed by Dionne Warwick), titled ... what else ... "Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams."
Foosball Table ... (Referenced by Veronica to Keith about Logan's mock spending.)
Table football (also called foosball) is a table-top game based on football (soccer). The name "foosball" comes from Fuball, the German word for "football." The origins of the game itself are unclear, although several have claimed the "honor" of inventing the sport. There has yet been any irrefutable evidence to back up any claim to an exact time and place when foosball first came to be. A foosball table looks like this:

To play the game, the ball is served through a hole at the side of the table or simply placed by hand at the feet of a figure in the middle of the table. Players attempt to use figures mounted on rotating bars to kick the ball into the opponent's goal. A ball may travel at speeds up to forty miles per hour in competition. The sport/game/simulation requires quick reflexes with a delicate touch using the player's fine tuned motor skills, control and knowledge. (Just ask Chandler and Joey. More on that later.) The basics include 'passing' the ball, where you have the ball in your possession with one bar, and pass it to another bar, and 'shooting,' where you find a hole in the defense and attempt to score. The winner is determined when one team scores a predetermined number of goals. A two-goal victory is most often required. In competition, every ball that enters the goal is counted, unless the player or players on the scoring team broke a rule during the play. Large events have referees that determine the infractions and penalties. Yes, foosball has events and referees.
In fact, foosball is also played in official competitions organized by a number of national organizations, with highly evolved rules and regulations. Organized competition can be traced back to the 1940's and 50's in Europe. But the professional tours and bigtime money events began when the founding father of modern professional table soccer, Lee Peppard of Seattle, Washington, United States announced a "quarter million dollar tour" in 1975. Of course, foosball is often played for fun in pubs, bars, workplaces, schools, and clubs with few rules as well. (Or neato-keen apartments in New York City. Ask Chandler and Joey.)
On the popular sitcom, Friends one of the running gags throughout the series is the foosball table owned by Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani (Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc). The show featured a Dynamo table in earlier seasons and later a Tornado (Valley) brand table, the latter which is the standard competition table on the pro circuit in the United States. The stars of the show were also reported to play the game frequently. The foosball table is originally purchased in the twelfth episode of season one (The One With The Dozen Lasagnas) when Joey and Chandler purchase it instead of a kitchen table, and Monica beats the boys at the game. It is stolen in season four, episode two and another (The Tornado with green playfield, black & yellow men, and marbled sides) is purchased by Chandler in season four, episode seven. The table was destroyed by Monica in the series finale, season ten, episode eighteen, The Last One, in order to rescue two pet fowl, Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., who were lost in the table by Joey.
Traffic Court ... (Referenced by Keith to Veronica about where he's going all snazzied up.)
Traffic court refers to a municipality's specialized judicial process for handling traffic ticket or traffic citation cases. In the U.S., a person who is given a citation by a police officer can either plead guilty and pay the indicated fine directly to the court house. If the person wishes to plead not guilty or to contest the charges, he or she is required to appear in court on the predetermined date on the citation, where they may make their case to the judge, or negotiate with the prosecutor before they are called to appear in front of the judge.
More serious charges, such as DUI (driving under the influence) or DWI (driving while intoxicated), or other instances wherein the vehicular incident may be responsible for injuries to another, may require the person to appear in court regardless of their plea. Some municipalities process guilty pleas of this nature outside of the presence of an actual judge, whereas others may require them to appear in court. Often these charges are handled by the larger criminal court.
Each state handles traffic matters in its own way. In most of New York State, for example, traffic matters are heard in the court for the city, town, or village where the alleged violation happened. The town and village courts are known as Justice Courts and each municipality has its own way of doing things. New York City traffic matters (and a few other locations) are heard in a special court called Traffic Violations Bureau, with a very different process.
California tickets are handled in Superior Court, which I suppose would explain the extra fanciness and splash of cologne that Keith was sporting on the day in question. But really -- he had to know how lame that lie sounded the moment he said it.
Yale ... (Referenced when Harmony guesses Carly went to college there.)
Yale University is a private university in New Haven, Connecticut. Founded in 1701 as the Collegiate School, Yale is the third-oldest institution of higher education in the United States and a member of the Ivy League. Yale's 70 undergraduate majors are primarily focused on a liberal curriculum, and few of the undergraduate departments are pre-professional in nature (even the engineering departments encourage and require students to explore academic disciplines outside of engineering). Yale and Harvard have for most of their history been rivals in almost everything, notably academics, rowing and football.
Yale president Richard C. Levin summarized the university's institutional priorities for its fourth century: "First, among the nation's finest research universities, Yale is distinctively committed to excellence in undergraduate education. Second, in our graduate and professional schools, as well as in Yale College, we are committed to the education of leaders."
Brown ... (Referenced when Keith tells Harmony that Carly went to college here.)
Brown University is a private university and a member of the Ivy League located in Providence, Rhode Island. Founded in 1764 as Rhode Island College, it is the third-oldest institution of higher education in New England and the seventh-oldest in the United States.

The Brown University Coat of Arms.
Brown was the Baptist answer to Congregationalist Yale and Harvard, Presbyterian Princeton, and Episcopalian Penn and Columbia. At the time, it was the only one that welcomed students of all religious persuasions following the example of Roger Williams, who founded Rhode Island in 1636 on the same principle. Brown has long since shed its Baptist affiliation, but remains dedicated to diversity and intellectual freedom. Brown's motto is In Deo Speramus, which means "In God we Hope." It boasts a $2.3 billion endowment, and has a student to faculty ratio of 9:1.
Brown has the oldest undergraduate engineering program in the Ivy League (1847), the only undergraduate Egyptology department in the United States, and, until recently, the only History of Mathematics department in the world. Brown was also one of the first institutions to emphasize computer science, as well as media studies, with its department of Modern Culture and Media, where students study film production, film criticism, and critical theory.
The Brown "New Curriculum," instituted in 1969, eliminates distribution requirements and mandatory A/B/C grade, allowing any course to be taken on a "satisfactory/no credit" basis. Moreover, there are no pluses (+) or minuses (-) in the grading system. Admission to Brown is extremely competitive, with an overall admissions rate of 13.8%, although the acceptance rate of the Class of 2010 was 12.6%, making it one of the lowest in the nation and the lowest in Brown's history. More than one-third of the members of the Class of 2010 scored above 750 on the verbal or math sections of the SAT I: Reasoning Test, and approximately fifteen percent of the students in the Class of 2010 graduated number one or number two in their high school classes. I'd say it's a wee bit harder to get into than say, Hearst.
Since 2001, Brown's current and 18th president is Ruth J. Simmons, the first African American president, and second female president, of an Ivy League institution, as well as the first permanent female president of Brown. Props to Brown for being so progressive!
Baywatch ... (Referenced by the pinball game that Charleston was playing.)
Baywatch was a popular U.S. television series that focused on L.A. County lifeguards who patrol the crowded L.A. County beaches in California. The series premiered on NBC in 1989, but was cancelled after only one season because of the high cost of producing it and low ratings. Feeling the series still had potential, David Hasselhoff (of Knight Rider fame) revived it for the first-run syndication market in 1991, investing his own money and additionally functioning as executive producer. The show was hugely successful, especially internationally. The show led to a spin-off: Baywatch Nights and a reunion movie, Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding. In Season ten, the location of the show was changed to Hawaii and the show's name was changed to Baywatch Hawaii. The show ran for a total of eleven seasons between 1989 and 2001.
The original Baywatch cast line-up.
The show starred Hasselhoff as Mitch Buchannon, who was the only mainstay on the show (save Michael Newman) for ten of the eleven seasons. Baywatch was centered around the work of a team of lifeguards and their interpersonal relationships, with plots usually centering on dangers related to beach and other activities pertinent to the beach lifestyle. Everything from earthquakes to shark attacks to serial killers served as plot conflicts on the show. Saving people from drowning tended to be one of the most typical situations used in the shows. Thus a trademark of the show was slow motion shots of the attractive lifeguards running in their fire engine red swimsuits. Not surprisingly, most of these shots featured the hot female lifeguards with large breasts such as Pamela Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth, Carmen Electra and Donna D'Errico to name a few.
And now for the really scary part: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Baywatch is the most watched TV show in the world with over 1.1 billion viewers. If that isn't a sign of the impending apocalypse, I don't know what is.

The Baywatch pinball machine was created by SEGA in 1995 and now retails for approximately $1,880. Wow.
Charleston Chew (Chu) ... (Referenced by Charleston's nickname.)
First sold by the Fox-Cross Candy Company in 1922, the Charleston Chew is a chocolate-covered vanilla nougat candy bar named after the popular 1920's dance, the Charleston. In 1957, the company was purchased by Nathan Sloan. Twenty years later, bars with chocolate and strawberry flavored nougat became available in addition to the original vanilla. Like with many other candy bars, it's not uncommon to eat a Charleston Chew after it's been frozen, making the nougat hard and crunchy. The candy can also now be bought in bags of Mini Chews. Since 1993, Tootsie Roll Industries has been the maker of Charleston Chews.

Duke/Lacrosse Rape ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston to get him to spill.)
Duke is a research university in Durham, North Carolina. It is ranked among the worlds best universities and their athletic program is one of the nations elite.
A party on March 13, 2006 led to a controversial case involving Dukes lacrosse team. A student from North Carolina Central University came forward claiming she was raped by three of the players in the bathroom during the party. The victim was an exotic dancer hired by the team, and the three players involved, David Evans, Reade Seligmann, and Collin Finnerty, were indicted on charges of rape, kidnapping, and sexual offense.

Left to Right: Evans, Seligmann, & Finnerty
All three players pleaded innocent, and will face up to 30 years prison time if found guilty in the appelate court. Evans, the 23-year-old team captain was convicted in May on all charges. He subsequently released a statement maintaining his innocence, saying that he was cooperative with the police throughout the whole process, and that while the police refused to allow him to take a polygraph test, his lawyers arranged for him to take one anyway, which he passed. A second exotic dancer at the party and the district attorneys main witness just recently (Oct. 13) recanted on her statement in an interview with 60 Minutes, saying that the victim "obviously wasnt hurt, because, you know, she was fine."
Perp Walk ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston to get him to spill.
The perp (short for perpetrator) walk is a very public arrest, or parading an arrested suspect through a slew of media reporters. This practice is unique to the United States, as most other countries will attempt to protect the identity of the arrested suspects. Perp walks have been criticized for being staged and the 2000 case Lauro v. Charles ruled that staged perp walks were a violation of the suspect's Fourth Amendment* rights.
* The Fourth Amendment of the United States Constitution: 'The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.'
Stairmaster ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston guessing about why Chip was sweaty and breathing heavily.)
Stairmaster is a line of exercise machines owned by Nautilus, Inc. The first designs released in 1983 were stepping machines and revolving stairs, but modern models are elliptical trainers which are easier on the knees. The machines offer a non-impact cardiovascular work-out, designed to stimulate the heart rate more than build muscles, though the more popular machines are designed to build strength in both leg and arm muscles.
In Flagrante ... (Referenced by what Veronica filled in that Chip was doing when he opened the door all sweaty and breathing heavily.)
In flagrante delicto or sometimes simply in flagrante (see Veronica) means "while the crime is blazing" in Latin. It is a legal term that is used to indicate that a criminal has been caught in the act of committing an offense. The colloquial "caught red-handed" or "caught in the act" are English equivalents. But it makes you sound smarter if you say it in Latin ... or makes others (see Charleston) think you (veronica) are stupid if they are unfamiliar with the phrase. Fear not, Veronica, you really are smarter than him.
In general, the Latin term has come to be used far more often as a euphemism for a couple being caught in the act of sexual congress, ie: in the middle of sex ala Charleston. In modern usage the sex need have nothing to do with adultery or be of an illicit nature. All you need is interruptus of the coitus and in flagrante you be.
They're Here / Poltergeist ... (Referenced by Dick to Veronica about the protesters.)
Welcome to Cuesta Verdes Estates -- a Southern California suburb where dreams come true. Unfortunately, for the Freeling family, the dreams coming true are more like nightmares of scary clown dolls, trees hungry for little boys and a swimming pool full of -- well, let's not spoil that. In the 1982 horror film Poltergeist, Steven Freeling (Craig T. Nelson) makes a living selling homes in the neighborhood where he lives with his wife Diane (JoBeth Williams) and their three children, Dana (Dominique Dunne), Robbie (Oliver Robins) and Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke). Everything is swimmingly normal, until a supernatural presence disrupts their lives. The paranormal activities start off as minor curiosities, but then develop into a terrifying poltergeist nightmare that leads the family to call in some parapsychology experts, including diminutive spiritual medium Tangina (Zelda Rubinstein), to cleanse the house and restore peace to their family.
In a scene that was prominently featured in the film's trailers, little Carol Anne sits down in front of the television one night, only to be contacted by a ghostly presence that seems to come straight out of the TV's snowy after-hours picture. After the presence shoots through the wall behind the parents' bed, causing what on the surface appears to be an earthquake, Carol Anne says what would become one of the most famous taglines of the film: "They're here." In fact, the American Film Institute placed this at #69 on their 100 Years 100 Movie Quotes list.

Poltergeist was directed by Tobe Hooper and co-written and produced by Steven Spielberg. It earned $76.6 million in its domestic release. Although the film was originally rated 'R' by the MPAA, an appeal resulted in the film receiving a 'PG' rating. Due in part to concern over some of the intensity of certain scenes in this film -- along with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) and Gremlins (1984) -- a new PG-13 rating was established. The film's success led to the inevitable sequels: Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986) and Poltergeist III (1988).
Chart House ... (Referenced by Veronica to Harmony about the lobster incident.
Chart House Restaurants is a chain founded in 1961 owned by Laundry's with twenty-four locations across the United States. They serve seafood, steaks and other menu items catered to the local cuisine. The restaurants are usually on waterfront locations, so with few exceptions, they are located along the coastlines of California, Florida, and the New England states.
Thai Massage ... (Referenced by Logan to Veronica when he brings food to the office.
The traditional Thai massage focuses on stretching and loosening the body using the principles of Yoga, Shiatsu and Acupressure. The person being massaged lies on a mat or firm mattress on the floor, while the massage therapist leans on the body, applying firm and rhythmic pressure to all parts of the body with their hands and forearms. Sometimes legs and feet are also used to give the massage. The massage includes deep pressure compression, stretching, pulling and bending.
Beast with Two Backs ... (Referenced by Veronica to Charleston's girlfriend about what she was doing with Chip.)
A British saying referring to partners engaged in sexual intercourse. Many believe it comes from Shakespeares Othello, 1604:
- Iago: "I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs."
- "In the prime of his years he married Gargamelle, daughter of the king of the Butterflies, a fine, good-looking piece, and the pair of them often played the two-backed beast, joyfully rubbing their bacon together..."
Pixie (Spy) Magic ... (Referenced by Dick to Veronica on solving the case; later Veronica to the Frats after clearing the frats.)
Pixies are mysterious mythical creatures of English folklore. They are sometimes called piskies or 'the little people.' There are several different mythologies of their origin. One myth says that pixies were people not good enough for Heaven or bad enough for Hell, so they were live on Earth forever. Another story is that they were Druids who were condemned by God to grow smaller and smaller until they accepted Christianity.
Pixies take immense pleasuring in playing tricks on people, and the very best way to ward off these pesky creatures is by arming oneself with an iron object. (The metal is said to weaken their powers.)

A tire iron should do the trick, I think.
The most notorious pixie is Tinkerbell, Peter Pan's vindictive partner-in-crime. While pixies generally don't take orders, Tinkerbell would sometimes share her magic on Peter's command, but only because she was in love with the jerk. Tink's magic pixie dust, which had the ability to make things fly, is the inspiration for the powdered candy Pixy Stix. There's also a band named after the creatures, The Pixies, whose song Where is My Mind? plays over the final scene of Driver Ed.
Archie, Peyton & Eli Manning ... (Referenced by Veronica's voiceover when she's considering if Dick could be a rapist like his brother.)
Archie Manning is a former quarterback in the NFL (National Football League). After completing his college career at Ole Miss, he was drafted by the New Orleans Saints, where he spent the bulk of his career from 1971 to 1982. After leaving the Saints he spent one year with the Houston Oilers and then the final year of his career with the Minnesota Vikings. Archie and his wife, Olivia, have three sons, Cooper, Peyton (born March 24, 1976), and Eli (born January 3, 1981). Cooper played as a receiver in high school with his brother Peyton, but was forced to end his career after being diagnosed with spinal stenosis, a congenital condition.
Peyton Manning excelled in high school as a quarterback and went on to college at the University of Tennessee where he was the starting quarter back for all four years, compiling an overall record of 39-6 and 3-1 in bowl games. He holds the school record in passing yards, completions, and touchdowns. His senior year Peyton finished second in the voting for the Heisman Trophy and received a number of other awards, including the the Johnny Unitas award for the nation's top quarterback. He was selected first in the 1998 NFL draft by the Indianapolis Colts, where he has started every game of his career. Peyton has compiled impressive statistics with the Colts and is a top NFL quarterback, considered by many to be the best in the NFL and a likely future Hall of Famer.
As a quarterback, Peyton is considered a pure pocket passer, with a great arm and near-perfect mechanics. He is also known for his frantic hand gestures and shouting at the line of scrimmage before plays. Critics say that Peyton is unable to win the big games. The Colts are 3-6 in the playoffs behind Peyton, and they have yet to reach a Superbowl. Peyton holds a number of NFL records. He was named the AP NFL Most Valuable Player in 2003 (with Steve McNair), the AP NFL Offensive player of the year in 2005, and the MVP again the same year.
Eli Manning, like his brother, was one of the nation's top quarterbacks in high school, and followed in his father's footsteps to play at Ole Miss. After red-shirting his freshman year and watching as the backup his sophomore year, Eli started for the Rebels for three years starting in 2001. His first two years, despite strong performances by him, Ole Miss compiled a mediocre record of 13-10 and a bowl win against Nebraska in 2002. Eli was considered a top NFL prospect but elected to stay at Ole Miss for his final year of playing eligibility.
In 2003 he led the team to a 10-3 record and a win over Oklahoma State in the Cotton Bowl, marking Ole Miss's best season in 13 years. Eli earned a number of honors that year, including the Johnny Unitas award for top quarterback, and set or tied 47 school records while at Ole Miss. At the 2004 NFL draft, Eli was selected first overall by the San Diego Chargers but was traded later that day to the New York Giants after Eli and his father had previously made known that Eli would not play for the Chargers. During his rookie year in 2004, Eli spent the first half on the bench watching veteran starting QB Kurt Warner. After a couple of poor performances by Warner, coach Tom Coughlin decided to give Eli a shot. Despite some struggles, he finished out the season as the starter, posting three consecutive strong performances at the end of the season. Eli started all of the 2005 season, leading the Giants to a division win with a record of 11-5 and a playoff appearance, losing in the first round.
On September 10th, 2006, Peyton and Eli became the first brothers in NFL history to face each other in a game, when Eli's Giants hosted Peyton's Colts. In what was dubbed The Manning Bowl, big bro came out on top, leading his Colts to a 26-21 victory of little brother's Giants.
The entire Manning family can be seen in an amusing ESPN SportsCenter commercial which can be seen here.

Left to right: Peyton, Archie and Eli Manning.
Rabbit Hole ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan about finding the source of the money loss.)
The saying "down the rabbit hole" comes from the popular children's book Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll, the pseudonym of Charles Dodgson. The book was first published in 1865 with illustrations by John Tenniel and has not been out of print since. It has been translated into over fifty languages, and there have not only been more than one hundred editions of the book itself, but countless adaptations in theater, film, and other media, the most famous of which is the 1951 Disney animated film Alice in Wonderland.
Dodgson later wrote a sequel, Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There. The first book was inspired by stories Dodgson told to Alice Pleasance Liddell and her two sisters, Lorina and Edith. Through the Looking-Glass was borne after Dodgson met another Alice, Alice Raikes, with whom he talked about her reflection in a mirror.
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland follow the adventures of a young girl named Alice, who is bored one day and follows a white rabbit in a waistcoat, falling down the rabbit-hole to a fantasy world filled with curious creatures. Among those she meets are the Cheshire Cat, the Mock Turtle, the Hatter, Queen of Hearts, and more. She eventually wakes back up with her sister.
"Down the Rabbit-Hole" is the title of Chapter 1, and the phrase has become a popular saying meaning going into an unknown adventure.

Google(d) ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan about looking of Charlie Stone.)
Google is a search engine owned by Google, Inc. whose mission statement is to "organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful." Google receives over 200 million queries a day. The name "Google" is derived from a play on the word "googol", which refers to the number represented by 1 followed by one hundred zeroes. Google's headquarters, located in California, are referred to as "the Googleplex."
Google began as a research project in January, 1996 by Larry Page and Sergey Brin, two students at Stanford University. The term "to google" has come to be used as a verb synonymous with "to search for something on the internet," though Google officials discourage the use of this phrase for fear that it will lead to trademark dilution.
Similar to the Search Engine Olympics Veronica took part in Donut Run, there are several games that can be played with Google. In "Gwigle," participants learn advanced Google search tricks as they go through the puzzles. In "Googlewhack," you attempt to find two words that produce exactly one search result. (Examples: "dork turnspit", "unconstructive superegos", "bibliophilic sandwiched", "dripstone ingles") "Googlefight" pits two keywords against each other to find which one has more results. In "Guess the Google," the objective is to guess which search term resulted in the displayed images.
In addition to its webpage search engine, Google also provides services for searching images, Usenet newsgroups, news websites, videos, searching by locality, maps, and items for sale online. The company is so popular that the name is used in the form of a verb ("googled") which means you looked that person up online.
San Juan Capistrano ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan about where Charlie teaches.)
Located in Orange County, California, this city was named after the Mission San Juan Capistrano, the seventh and "Jewel" of the twenty one Spanish Missions built in California by Franciscan Padres. San Juan Capistrano was first founded by Father Fermin Lasuen, in 1775. Eight days later, he and his party received news of an impending Indian attack, and they were forced to bury the mission bells and return to San Diego. A year later, Father Junipero Serra returned with another party of missionaries. They recovered the bells and built the first chapel there that still stands and is in use today. Known as Father Serra's Church, it is believed to be the oldest church in California.
Over time, the community grew with the arrival of the railroad in 1881, the San Diego Freeway in 1958, and city incorporation in 1961. The city adopted a General Plan in 1974 to emphasize their town's village-like character, setting aside a minimum of 30% of the city as open space. Today, with a population of over 36,000, nearly 40% of the city is still devoted to open space and park land.
A popular annual city event is the Swallows Festival, or "Fiesta de las Golondrinas," a two-month long celebration of the return of the migrating Cliff Swallows.
Rat trap ... (Referenced by Nancy to Veronica about what the feminists put on their gropable parts in the Boo room.)
Rat traps are devices used to capture or kill rats, mice or other small rodents. Traditional rat traps, or snap traps, have a wood base with wire spring-snap. They work best when baited and can kill a mouse or rat instantly. I had a physics project in highschool where we had to design a rat trap-powered car, and I can say from experience that - while it definitely hurts a LOT - a standard sized rat trap wouldn't leave those kinds of bruises on the frat guys' hands. So Nancy and Claire must have used some massive traps. Well, good for them.

Rat traps: now available in Standard and "We Mean Business!" sizes
New rat trap designs have been developed over the years. Electronic rat 'traps' give off a high frequency sound that drives rodents away, and live-catch traps will capture the rats so they can be released back outside. The least humane rat trap is a glue trap, the least expensive. A captured rat will struggle to escape the sticky sheet, sometimes causing it to have a heart attack or go into shock.
Stallone ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie to Logan about the Thought Police movie he saw Aaron in.)
Sylvester "Sly" Stallone (born 6th July 1946) is probably most comfortable under the title "action film star" rather than "actor." He is most famous for mumbling lines (it's not just you, Jason) and flexing his muscles while playing the characters: Rambo and Rocky.


His abs of steel are most often compared to Arnold Schwarzennegger's flexing pectorals because of their similar star quality. In fact, both actors starred in films that played with the comparison: Stallone says "I loved you in Conan The Barbarian" to an ugly thug in Tango and Cash (1989); Arnold Schwarzenneger, playing himself in Last Action Hero, reacts with horror when he sees a movie poster for Terminator starring Sylvester Stallone.
The film that made Stallone the star he is, was Rocky (1976), which he also wrote (in THREE days). Stallone sold the script on the condition he'd star in it, but since he wasn't a star at the time, the studio actually tried to bribe him so they could get Ryan O'Neal to play Rocky instead. Who's that, you ask? Exactly.
The film follows the life of an amateur boxer given the once in a lifetime oppurtunity to box the heavyweight champion. The movie promotes the struggle for achievement rather than the end result; feeling triumphant isn't about winning so much as putting in the effort, giving your all, and throwing everything on the line so that you accomplish something in the end even if you lose. The most memorable scene in the film has Rocky running up the steps of a museum to Bill Conti's score Gonna Fly Now. The scene is such an iconic moment in film history that it's hard to hear the song without picturing Stallone, in the same way it's hard to hear Staying Alive without picturing John Travolta.
Rocky is an iconic feel-good film about human struggle and the American Film Institute voted it the fourth most inspiring film of all time, as broadcast in a three hour CBS special. The only films placed ahead of it were cinematic greats It's A Wonderful Life, Schindler's List and To Kill a Mockingbird. On the surface, it seems really out of place. However, for anyone who's watched the film, it does (surprisingly enough) fit right in (just ignore the sequels).
Success in Hollywood leads to formula and once Stallone had created an iconic character, Hollywood proceeded to milk it for all it was worth. The fifth Rocky movie was filmed in 1990 and just when we thought they'd finally realized what too much of a good thing is, Rocky Balboa was completed in 2006. Stallone was sixty years old. I sometimes wonder if the final film will have Stallone breaking his hip and tumbling down the museum steps as Gonna Fly Now plays. Huh, nice irony.
But Stallone didn't have just one iconic character; the other is of course Rambo, who appeared in First Blood and three sequels, not including Rambo IV: In The Serpent's Eye which is lined up to start filming in 2008. But you know Rambo's iconic status wasn't quite achieved until another action hero gave him a nod:

"Rambooooo!"
Hee. Gizmo in Gremlins 2: The New Batch
It's telling that Logan Echolls and Fake-Charlie discuss Aaron Echolls starring alongside Stallone, because Aaron was also more of an action star than an actor's actor. Though, if it came down to a mind wrestle between the actors, I'm not sure Sly Stallone could live up to the potential of his nickname; is anyone more wily than Aaron Echolls? It would have been nice to see Rocky kick Aaron's ass though; talk about a feel good movie ...
People ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie to Logan about Echolls' affairs on the cover.)
People is a weekly magazine that generally features celebrities on the cover, but occasionally also highlights non-celebs in newsworthy situations. Often jokingly referred to as the glossy-pages version of a tabloid, the magazine has managed to stay a step above the term by covering their subjects (even in the more salacious moments) with a touch of class. The magazine is published by Time, Inc., and was actually inspired by Time magazine's people page.
Nicole Richie ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie to Logan about who Trina shot with a BB gun.)
The adopted daughter of Lionel and Brenda Richie, Nicole Camille Escovedo Richie (born September 21, 1981) is an American socialite, author, actress, and singer who primarily came to fame through her friendship with her former/now reunited best friend, Paris Hilton. Starring opposite Hilton in the Fox reality show, Simple Life in 2003, the two did a real-life version of a reverse Beverly Hillbillies. While the show showcased everything about Hilton that the public already expected, Richie was shown to have a charm (crass though it may be), manners (to a degree) and a contagious love of life.
A party-girl along with Hilton, Richie was found in clubs, drinking, drugging and partying, but after a stint in rehab, she made a change of her life. Adding a touch of glam-class to her image, she stopped partying, hooked up with Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein (the two were together for two years and were even engaged to marry) before ending things earlier this year. The change in Richie brought an end to her lifelong friendship with Hilton and the two took potshots (with Hilton, by far, being the ringleader) at each other in the press. Meanwhile their show, The Simple Life was quietly cancelled by Fox after its third season, but a month later, it was picked up by E! Entertainment Television. Due to their enmity, the last couple of seasons featured the two women separately. However, October 9, 2005 saw the two patch their friendship and Richie has announced recently that she is fully pursuing a music career like her father. (To hear a track that Richie recorded a year ago, click here. I admit that I actually kinda love it.)
It was just announced that Richie is putting work on the new season of The Simple Life -- which would have featured Richie and Hilton appearing together again -- on hold to check herself into a undisclosed private facility, where according to her publicist, she is going "to undergo diagnostic treatment to determine why she's not been putting on any weight." Ah, her weight. There has been much debate and discussion over Richie's super-skinny form that has had many crying anorexia. Richie claims she eats, is not doing drugs and is unaware why she's unable to gain weight. This is the first time since publicity about her weight first arose that Richie has chosen to take steps to find out if there is a problem.
Jay Leno ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie about the Trina/Nicole incident used in a monologue the following night.)
Most everyone knows Jay Leno as the host of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, which airs on NBC every weekday at 11:35 PM. Leno became the host of The Tonight Show after Johnny Carson retired that same year. The show began its fifteenth season in May 2006. Leno announced in 2004 that he would be retiring as host in 2009, and Conan O'Brien, host of Late Night with Conan O'Brien, is already set to replace his time slot.
Leno grew up in Andover, Massachusetts and attended Emerson College, where he studied speech therapy. He got his career started performing stand-up comedy in various clubs and bars. Before becoming a television host, he appeared numerous times on Carson's show. Leno has also written several children's books, as well as an autobiography titled Leading with My Chin (the title referencing his rather notable chin-size). He's made appearances on a number of sitcoms and has recently done voice acting for animated films.
He is also an avid collector of antique cars and motorcycles. In fact, when Kristen Bell was a guest on the show in December 2005, the two discussed his love of automobiles.

Zuma Beach ... (Referenced by Fake Charlie/Norman to Logan and Veronica about surfing.
Zuma Beach, with its clean water and white sand, is located nineteen miles west of Malibu on the Pacific Coast Highway. The beach itself faces south, and attracts many visitors on the weekends over the summer, but tends to be quiet during the week. A bit further north than other area beaches, the water is a bit colder. Amenities at Zuma Beach include restrooms, showers and changing facilities, swing sets, and a snack bar. Activities available at Zuma Beach include walking along the beachside boardwalk walking path, swimming (lifeguard on duty during daylight hours), volleyball, fishing, and even whale-watching in the winter. In addition, Zuma Beach is considered by some to be the top surfing spot in the Los Angeles area, but some consider it more suited for boogie-boarding and body surfing.

Cheese Knife ... (Referenced by Logan to Fake Charlie/Norman about how Lynn stopped Aaron from choking Logan.)
A cheese knife is simply a tool that is designed to cut through cheeses. Cheese knives have thick handles and blades that are generally more rectangular-shaped than typical kitchen knives. For softer cheeses, a blade with holes is better because the cheese sticks to the blade less. Harder cheeses require a sharper blade, and the tip is often forked so that the knife can double as a serving utensil.
And would you believe it? They're also the perfect tool for threatening your moviestar husband's life with.

Vanity Fair ... (Referenced as the magazine Fake Charlie/Norman works for.)
Vanity Fair is an American magazine published by Conde Nast Publications that covers culture, fashion, and politics. The magazine was released as Dress and Vanity Fair in 1913, and relaunched in 1914 as Vanity Fair. Despite critical acclaim, the magazine was forced to merge with Vogue in 1936 after commercial failure brought on by the Great Depression. The magazine began publication again in the 1980's under the ownership of Si Newhouse, edited by Tina Brown (1984-1992) and E. Graydon Carter (1992-present).
The magazine boasts several prestigious columnists and photographers, and the cover of the magazine sometimes features glamorous portraits of current celebrities. The magazine's covers have occasionally been the subject of controversy. One of the most famous celebrity covers was the August 1991 cover, which featured a naked and pregnant Demi Moore. (She posed nude again the following year, this time covered only in body paint.)

The March 2006 feature, shot by Annie Leibovitz, featured a nude Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson and fully-clothed Tom Ford, who was standing in for Rachel McAdams after she backed out of the photo shoot. The October 2006 issue, also shot by Annie Leibovitz, hosts the first public pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' newborn daughter.

To be completely fair, I must say though that the likelihood that VF would do the kind of piece that Norman is writing is quite the stretch of the imagination. They have their tawdry moments, but for the most part they are considered the elite celebrity magazine and do their share of featuring politics as well. The kind of low-down scummy crap that Norman calls is not the brand of "journalism" that Vanity Fair puts out.
Harry & David ... (Referenced by Norman/Fake Charlie to Logan about where the fruit basket was from.)
Harry and David was originally founded as Bear Creek Orchards in 1910 by Samuel Rosenberg when he purchased 240 acres of pear orchards in Medford, Oregon. Following his death in 1914, his two sons, Harry and David, took over the business. The specialized in the Comice pear, popular in the luxury hotels and restaurants of Europe. They nicknamed their product the Royal Riviera to set it apart. The Royal Riviera fame grew during the 20s, and the business flourished.
When the Great Depression hit, however, the Royal Riviera market disappeared, and Harry and David struggled with how to find new buyers. They came up with the idea to sell their pears through the mail, and their mail-order business was born. They pitched their pears as business gifts to corporate leaders in San Francisco and New York, and they soon had orders streaming in. In 1938, Harry and David developed the fruit-of-the-month club. Harry and David is one of the oldest catalog mail order companies and are now a premier marketer of high-end gift baskets, food towers, and, with the 1966 acquisition of Jackson & Perkins (the nation's oldest and largest wholesale rose producer), roses and other flowers.
"God is in the details"/Ludwig Mies van der Rohe ... (Referenced by Norman (Fake Charlie) to Logan about getting the details for his story.)
The quote "God is in the details" is attributed to German-born American architect Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, born March 27, 1886, in Aachen, Germany. Mies is one of the most influential figures in modern architecture and is known for his minimalist style, especially in his steel frame and glass skyscrapers. His first well-known structure was the German Pavilion, built for the Barcelona exposition in 1929. He joined the faculty of the Bauhaus design school and served as the last director of the school before Nazi political pressure forced him to close the school. He grew frustrated with the rejection of his style by the Nazis, and left in 1937. He settled in Chicago, where he became the head of the architecture school at the Armour Institute of Technology. His most famous projects in the United States include the Farnsworth House and Crown Hall in Chicago, and the Seagram Building in New York, which is often considered the height of modern high-rise architecture.
"God is in the details" comes from an article in the June 28, 1959, edition of the New York Herald Tribune, and Mies was speaking about restraint in design. He is also known for the phrase "less is more." These two aphorisms characterize his desire to create open spaces enclosed within a structural order with minimal presence.

The Seagram Building in New York, built 1954.
Bubbles ... (Referenced by Veronica (incorrectly) to Keith when he refers to himself as a monkey.)
Bubbles is the pet chimpanzee (not monkey) that resided with the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, for many years (which is fairly apropos when you consider that the man's life is a circus and he lives in an amusement park). Prior to his rockstar life, Bubbles lived at a cancer research clinic in Texas until 1985 when he relocated to California with Mike. For the following decade he often accompanied Jackson to award ceremonies (wearing matching outfits ... how cute) and was seen widely by the public. Rumored to have his own bodyguard, Bubbles sat in during several recording sessions for Jackson's album Bad.
Over the years Bubbles moved out of the limelight living at the Neverland Ranch. However, in 2003 after Martin Bashir made the infamous Living with Michael Jackson documentary, several outtakes discussed and filmed Bubbles at the ranch living at the residence. Bubbles wore a diaper and used Jackson's private toilet. Since that time, former Neverland Ranch employees have confirmed Bubbles was eventually sent away from the ranch to a care facility after he became violent with increasing age and even bit several people. The New York Daily News recently reported that Bubbles is alive and well and living on an animal ranch in Sylmar, California. The ranch manager, Bob Dunn, said "He's in his twenties, he's doing fine." A younger chimp named "Max" now lives with Michael Jackson. Poor chimp.

Pictured is the life-size ceramic statue "Michael Jackson and Bubbles"
by sculptor Jeff Koons (1988). The piece was sold to an anonymous
buyer for $5,600,000 and is, disturbingly, the most valuable sculpture
by a living artist.
Star Trek/Faceless Crew Members ... (Referenced by Veronica to the nameless Frat boys.)
Star Trek is the short-lived, but long-beloved sci-fi classic created by Gene Roddenberry that ran on NBC from 1966 to 1969 -- the five year mission, as described in the opening credits, cut short by a few years *). Starring William Shatner as the brave and sexy Captain James T (for Tiberius) Kirk, Leonard Nimoy as half-Vulcan, imminently logical Commander Spock and DeForest Kelley as the crotchety, Southern Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, the show presented a hopeful version of the future and was filled with loads of fun, lots of camp and some damn awesome episode titles (City on the Edge of Forever or The World was Hollow and I Touched the Sky anyone?).
The faceless (although, I would have thought she'd go with "nameless" since we could, you know, see their faces) Star Trek crew members that Veronica refers to are actually more commonly known as "Red Shirts," but I understand Veronica's lack of that nickname. Whenever a Redshirt had screen time, it meant they were going to die in that episode. Most of these frats are scum, but they're not dead.
* Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Greek Chorus ... (Referenced during a Veronica voiceover about the feminists standing there when she clears the frats.)
In tragic plays of ancient Greece, the chorus (choros) is believed to have grown out of the Greek dithyrambs and tragikon drama. The chorus offered background and summary information to help the audience follow the performance, commented on main themes and showed how an ideal audience might react to the drama as it was presented. The need for this was paramount since in early tragedy, all parts were played by a single actor. When the actor left to change roles, an empty stage was a no-no even in Greece BC ... here's where the chorus came in. No one likes dead air. It is thought to have featured about fifty singing and dancing members circa 508. Tragedy came to be composed of episodes separated by choral odes. In these odes, the chorus would chant rhythmically, so they could be viewed as one entity rather than individuals. In the second generation of Athenian tragedy, the chorus often had a more substantial role in the narrative.
Aeschylus, (525 BC456 BC) was a playwright of ancient Greece and the earliest of the three greatest Greek tragedians, the others being Sophocles and Euripides. He reduced the chorus to twelve members, but it remained critical to his productions. When the second great Tragedian, Sophocles, came along, he increased the chorus to by three to fifteen members, but he reduced the choral odes to tenuous relation to the drama taking place. The Sophoclean chorus was divided into two sub-choruses of six (hemichoria) and a leader (koryphaios); the number of actors increased from two to three. The leader of the chorus interacted with the characters in the play, and spoke for the general population (the play's public opinion). This change favored the interaction between actors and thus brought ancient Greek tragedy closer to the modern notion of dramatic plot.
Although not used in dramatic work today, the Greek Chorus principle is still employed in comedies such as the musical Little Shop of Horrors and Woody Allen's The Mighty Aphrodite.
The Big Lebowski / "Hey! Careful, man. There's a beverage here!" ... (Referenced by Veronica to Logan when merrily he grabs her and almost spills her drink.)
Written and directed by the Coen Brothers (Ethan and Joel), The Big Lebowski stars Jeff Bridges as The Dude. Not quite your normal movie fare, the convoluted plot weaves about eccentric characters as The Dude attempts to replace his urinated-upon carpet. Yes, you read that correctly. This cult classic also stars John Goodman and Julianne Moore. Long-time Coen favorite John Turturro is also featured.
In a scene from the film, the Dude is treated to a limousine ride home, after having met with Maude Lebowski (Moore). Feeling like things are starting to go his way, after a series of mishaps, the Dude gets out of the limo and is immediately attacked by a large guy. As he's grabbed from behind and forced into another limousine belonging to the Big Lebowski, the Dude cries out, "Hey! Careful, man. There's a beverage here!"
On Top of the World Looking Down on Creation ... (Referenced by Logan to Veronica about his mood.)
Recorded by the Carpenters in 1973, "Top of the World" is a fun, peppy love song that celebrates life and love. It was originally intended as just a track on the album A Song For You (released June 13, 1972), but outside factors changed that decision. Country artist Lynn Anderson covered the tune; she took it to the top of the U.S. country singles charts. As well, the reaction at concerts was overwhelming. Wrote Richard Carpenter (who penned the song along with long-time collaborator, lyricist John Bettis) in the notes to Carpenters: The Compact Disc Collection:
- "I have to admit we miscalled this one. After completing the song we felt it was a nice album cut. It didn't take long, however, to learn otherwise. The response to it in concert was overwhelming. It was culled from the album in Japan and went gold. Lynn Anderson covered it and it went to number one on the country charts. Certain Top 40 stations in the U.S. were charting it based on requests alone. Not being born yesterday we released the record with a few revisions in late 1973."
- Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream
Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
It's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world
Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me
There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here
I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world
Simply put the definition of "third time's the charm" is the belief that the third time something is attempted is more likely to succeed than the previous two attempts. It is also used as a good luck charm -- spoken just before trying something for the third time. The phrase may be a variant on the United Kingdom phrase "third time lucky." It is listed in Alexander Hislop's The Proverbs of Scotland in 1862, but the proverbial description suggests it dates to an earlier time, but there is nothing to confirm when or where it originated. Why is the third time lucky? Some believe it came from the belief that, under English law, anyone who survived three attempts at hanging would be set free. However, the story that fostered this belief is predated by the phrase. Others suggest it relates the Christian holy trinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. However, there is no evidence to support this. Without any clear history, one can conclude that it merely is derived from a long-time belief that despite setbacks, one must persevere and keep on trying.
As for the American variant on the phrase -- which the lovely Logan said -- the earliest recording it of is courtesy of a court reporter for the The Weekly Sentinel when doing the court roster one day in June of 1912 when a Mrs. Martha Carliss, married twice, planned to wed a third time.
- ... Mrs. Martha Carliss evidently believes in peace and happiness in wedlock and that she probably thinks third time's a charm is shown by the fact that she was granted a license today to marry Andrew W. Mowery.

- When Logan's standing outside Veronica's door, you can spot someone's shadow walking past a lit window across the complex behind Logan.
- Logan's tone of voice when he says: "Veronica, I won't say anything bad." It's so ... mature and real.
- The amused/adoring look on Logan's face as he watched Veronica and her dad discuss suitable topics.
- Veronica and Keith turning to look at Logan in unison after Veronica approves "hobbies" as a discussion topic.
- The GLARING continuity error regarding Veronica's rape. We already knew she was raped in the fall of 2003 because Lilly was murdered on October 3, 2003 and Veronica's rape took place a few months later and at Shelly Pomroy's end of the year party. In addition, we actually have the exact date because it was time-stamped (December 7, 2003) on the video of Carmen doing naughty things, as revealed in episode twenty of season one, M.A.D.. Sloppy, writers. Very, very sloppy.
- Logan tells Veronica that he needs a P.I. to help him nail his bad guy to the wall. After she finds out Kaufman isn't a 'bad guy' and the Pi Sigs (maybe) aren't serial rapists she tells Parker, "You want to nail someone to the wall just to have someone nailed there or do you want the person responsible to pay." Hee. I love it when she steals her beau's lines.
- When Logan shows Veronica his ten boxes full of financial records, only one of the lids has been taken off already. Makes me think Logan saw them, started to open them and then thought . . . oh Veronicaaaaa and lured her up to his penthouse to help without telling her why. Hee. Rich boy doesn't like to do his own grunt work.
- Hee!!! Harmony's first line to Keith is "Do you remember me by any chance?" Hee!! Great in-joke for those who know that Enrico Colantoni and Laura San Giacomo (Harmony) worked together (and were paired for some time) on the NBC sitcom, Just Shoot Me.
- At the library right before Wallace shows up, the dude that Veronica is helping has some serious Crazy Sauce* hair.
* At the Blowout Event in August, someone showed Jason Dohring a photo of his hair on her digital camera, and he said something like "Wow, that's crazy sauce." This has now become the definition of wild hair in the Dohring-faction of the Veronica Mars fandom.
- In an interview, Rob Thomas mentioned he had been hoping to get Alia Shawkat (Stacy Wells in The Rapes of Graff) to appear again. According to Alan Sepinwall, her character would have been one of the girls wearing the rat traps to the haunted house.
- Also, according to Sepinwall, the censors cut another reference to The Big Lebowski: "The Chinaman is not the issue here." Which refers to a line of dialogue spoken by Walter (John Goodman) in the film:
- Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT -- Also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
- When Veronica reminds Dick about the burning bag o' poo incident, he laughs in fond remembrance -- until he turns to see the look on Keith's face, causing his smile to vanish immediately. Hee!
- On that note, check out the contrast between the first time Logan asked Veronica for help and the first time Dick came by for the same thing. Logan hesitates before entering, knows he's not welcome and makes no patronizing comments about the Mars abode. Dick waltzes in like he's the Queen, insults the Mars living conditions and has no idea how much Veronica wants to shoot him. One of them understands the concept of 'humble' a lot better, or at least can put on a better performance of it. Nice contrast.
- Dick's frantic run to the door after Veronica tells him that he needs to leave before she changes her mind about helping clear the Pi Sigma fraternity of any involvement in the Hearst campus rapes.
- The way Dick crouches down outside Veronica's front door to give her the thumbs up after she agrees to take the Pi Sigs' case - and the way you can faintly hear him say "thank you!" after he's closed the door.
- I was laughing so hard at this exchange:
- Charleston: Like I caught him in ...
Veronica: flagrante.
Charleston: (As if Veronica is a moron.) No, in the middle of sex.
- The horrible look on Keith's face after he sips the coffee that it appears Veronica has brewed.
- The adorably goofy way Keith says to Harmony "Now that was a rocky marriage!"
- Logan leaning over Veronica as she's at her desk is very reminiscent of the time she was researching Trina's boyfriend for him, in Hot Dogs.
- Hee, Veronica actually used her key to get into Logan's hotel room!
- The little smile on Logan's face when he hears the door to his suite open -- because he knows it is Veronica, using her key.
- What is with the stripes in wardrobe?! I've been noticing it a lot, but overkill here!! Geez! In the cafeteria scene, Logan, Veronica and Chip were wearing striped shirts. Seriously. And then in the very next scene, both Charleston and his girlfriend are wearing striped shirts. Fake Charlie had on some stripes on his white overshirt and later (with the paparazzi), Real Charlie had on a vertically-striped shirt. Stripe-overkill, wardrobe people!
- The first time we see him, the real Charlie appears to be wearing the very same shade of green as Logan in the previous scene.
- Charlie Stone calling himself "the real deal" as opposed to Norman's "fake" when Veronica goes to see him at his classroom.
- Whatever Logan bought to eat in the cafeteria scene, he's sure picking it into itty bitty pieces. Not that I blame him, because from a distance, at least, it doesn't look all that appetizing.
- Numbers 1 and 2 on many a fangirl's "What I Most Want See Happen on the Show" list were respectively "Logan and Veronica ... get political" and "Logan surfs." Four episodes into Season 3, the writers have finally given us both of these things, only, we only get to see the scene after the must-see event? What gives? Ever the tease(s).
- The wardrobe department fails this week. "Long time surfers" Logan and Fake Charlie had on brand new identical wetsuits. Straight off the rack, right? Nice. It's not as fun as reindeer boxers, but maybe they called each other or something.
- Why were the Pi Sigs under the impression that Veronica cleared them of the rape last year? Didn't Chip say in My Big Fat Greek Rush Week that Veronica accused him of rape? I thought Veronica did more to get their fraternity in trouble last year when she handed in those photos about what they were up to. She cleared Troy, not the Pi Sigs. It seemed really dumb that they'd suddenly come to her for help.
- The Hearst rapist (whether it's the guy in the photo or not) made Claire buy the condoms he used when he raped her. Not only is he an evil bastard, but apparently he's cheap too.
- When Logan runs up to Veronica on campus, you can hear his footsteps rapidly approaching before he actually appears on screen.
- Logan really does seem to favor green -- he's wearing green in almost every scene this episode. Even his surfboard is green!
- Dick, like his frat brothers, is sporting a snazzy suit for the on-campus hearing. However, unlike the rest of the Pi Sigs, he's still sporting his favorite chucks in lieu of dress shoes.

- When did Logan start calling Veronica "bobcat" and is the nickname sexual in nature as many are speculating?
- What could Logan have possibly said about surfing that Veronica was convinced would offend Keith?
- Did Claire really get drunk/drugged at the haunted house or did it happen somewhere else? Considering she and her friends have been accusing the frat boys of being involved with the rapes, why on earth would she drink anything while she was there? To quote Veronica: "I think I'd sooner drink Mark McGrath's bathwater than drink anything (t)here."
- Trying to come up with change in order to purchase condoms at a convenience store sounds more like a guy who's getting unexpectedly "lucky" than the behavior of a serial rapist. Wouldn't the actual rapist not only be more prepared, but also try to avoid being seen in such a public place with his victim?
- Why didn't Veronica take this to the Sheriff? Or, around the Sheriff, for that matter, because she doesn't believe in his ability to follow through. In other words, why didn't SHE follow through? Why not take it around the same fraternity/sorority houses and see if anyone had seen this guy? Why not ask the victims? The biggest why of all? Why not take the damn photo to the same convenience store guy who told her about the condom buying incident and ask him if this was the guy with the blond?
- Where's Lamb? Why isn't he asking any of these questions? Why isn't he pulling surveillance photos? Yeah, yeah, he is incompetent, but this is way beyond what we've seen from him before. This is a public enough crime. Lamb likes to look good for the public. He should be at least pretending to do his job.
- Where's the school administration? Here's this rampant rapist going around, and there seem to be no security measures beyond what's common? For that matter, where's parental and media outcry?
- Is the rapist wearing gloves? Are the rooms fingerprinted? Is there any common physical evidence that has been collected? And yes, why did he change his MO? Was Claire's rape a copy cat thing?
- Why didn't Veronica ask the convenience store clerk for a physical description of the man with Claire, which would at least serve to confirm whether the Asian man in the ATM photograph is the same person?
- If Veronica has a photograph showing a potential suspect in the Hearst rape cases, shouldn't she bring such an important piece evidence to the police or some other authority figure?
- The first tier of Logan's trust fund is supposed to last him until he turns twenty-one. Is this part of his inheritance from Aaron? How many tiers are set up for later? And why on earth is the money that's going to Charlie being taken specifically from Logan's trust fund? Why wouldn't Aaron have set up a separate secret fund to deal with his illegitimate child(ren)?
- I get Charlie getting the $10,000 when he was a child, before eighteen, hell, even before twenty-one. But why is he STILL receiving $10,000 a month? Upon Aaron's death, why would it still matter to keep it a secret to pay for? (Unless this was Aaron's way of screwing Logan one more time after his death.)
- How is it possible, or even believable, that Norman Phipps would begin tapping Charlie's phone at the exact time that Logan discovers the existence of his half-brother? Isn't that an awfully big coincidence?
- When Logan left the first message for Charlie, why didn't Charlie return his call, since at that time, he had no specific reason to ignore him?
- It's odd that Veronica got the name 'Charlie' from calling a bunch of suits at various companies. Is Charlie's official Christian name Charlie or Charles?
- Is 'Lonely Telescope Guy' RT's equivalent of 'Big Fat Naked Guy' on Friends? 'Cause I got to tell you it doesn't have the same ring to it, and I could really do without seeing Logan staring off his balcony for no reason again.
- Did Norman break in and delete Logan's original message to Charlie before he heard it or was the real Charlie more cautious than Logan?
- Is Charlie's mom really a flight attendant? If so, is Charlie the product of Aaron joining the mile high club? 'Cause ... eww.
- If Logan really is going to run out of money in fourteen months shouldn't he appear more worried about this fact and maybe consider moving out of the Presidential Suite of the Neptune Grand?
- Now that Logan's cash flow is beginning to slow, will he, gasp, actually have to get a job? I hear Mars Investigations is hiring.
- How can Veronica be certain that the Asian man standing behind Claire in the ATM photo is with Claire, and isn't just waiting to withdraw cash?
- Since Norman had already interviewed Charlie "anonymously" before he spoke to Logan, were all the stories Norman used about Charlie's childhood true?
- Keith mentions that he has a friend in banking. Would this be the same person that Veronica tapped to track Lynn Echolls' credit card and bank transactions when investigating her suicide for Logan?
- The second time Harmony comes to see Keith, she mentions that she's only got twenty minutes which is why she brought lunch with her. When Veronica and Logan come by the office later, one can assume that she and Keith have been hanging out for quite a bit longer than that. Did Harmony, like Keith, lie about how much time she had because she didn't want to appear like she was interested in Keith? Or was she just having so much fun with Keith that she blew off her next appointment?
- But perhaps what is more important than all these questions is: Why did Trina shoot Nicole Ritchie with a BB gun? And can photographic evidence of this be made available?

- Alia Shawkat (Stacey, The Rapes of Graff) was originally meant to have the role given to Nancy in this episode: Strapping rat traps to all her gropable parts at the Pi Sig party. Unfortunately scheduling conflicts got in the way of her returning to the show.

- In A Trip to the Dentist, when discovered by a room full of 09ers, Logan held out his hand for Veronica to take showing that he was cool with everyone knowing that she was girlfriend. Here, Veronica held out her hand to Logan to take before sitting down for dinner with dad, essentially showing that she was cool with Logan being allowed into the Mars inner family circle.

duchessjms (Jayne): Literature
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