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With several good performances all weaving together, Hi, Infidelity once again featured the Veronica Mars cast delivering strong, nuanced portrayals that flowed seamlessly into a snappy, engaging episode.

Highlights

Julie Gonzalo (Parker Lee) - Gonzalo has more than justified her addition to the talented cast of Veronica Mars. In addition to serving as the personal hook for Veronica in the first mystery arc, Gonzalo has shined in her portrayal of all the various aspects of Parker. From perky and overenthusiastic pre-rape, agonized and traumatized post-rape, to angry and vengeful in the subsequent weeks, she has skillfully portrayed a wide range of emotion. In this episode, Gonzalo once again rides a delightful merry-go-round of emotions culminating in the chilling horror that she shares with the viewing audience when she meets Mercer. Although we lost one perky blonde when the coma baby storyline entered the picture, we now have a new perky blonde with a compelling personality all her own.

Ed Begley, Jr. (Dean Cyrus O'Dell) - Begley faced an even more difficult task than Julie Gonzalo. Van Clemmons was dearly loved by the fans of Veronica Mars and his role as Dean O'Dell was clearly analogous to that of a high school principal. But Begley has delivered several solid performances in a row and with Hi, Infidelity, he has earned the praise and affection of the Veronica Mars viewing audience. Begley has drawn an endearing portrait of a layered character that has fans everywhere jumping on the "I love the Dean" train.

Scene One: The Little Moments

There were a few bites to this scene, but mostly I just loved the lovey-dovey, touchy-feely and overall couple-y aspect here. Veronica holding onto his manly forearm for several seconds before lifting it up to slide into the seat next to him, resting her bent arm upon his shoulder/chest through the rest of the scene and casually taking his drink and sipping from the straw. It was fun to, you know, just watch and smile and squee at the pretty and the pretty of the couple and the ultra-pretty of the pretty couple acting so like a couple. I liked plenty.

As for the bite, well, you had the reference to Logan as a bad boy again, although, to be fair, this wasn't much more than a little nibble. It was commented upon rather casually in a throwaway, quipping manner. Still, the fact that the "bad boy" moniker is still being used -- even in the above sense -- is one that I'm not entirely comfortable with considering Rob Thomas' defining of Logan as the bad boy and how that appeared to justify the non-stop crap that was handed to the character, including Veronica's less-than-pleasant treatment. The other bit that rankled slightly was in regards to Veronica's commentary on Logan referencing the Jane Austen novel, Emma. We could take it as merely a riff on a guy referencing Jane Austen (see

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[Veronica] ... appeared self-conscious when her boyfriend kissed her in front of [Duncan]. Here, Piz was barely a blip on her radar even when he was talking to her and once Logan showed up, all of her attention was upon him.

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He doesn't trust that if he messes up again, she won't walk away, breaking his heart yet one more time. And because he doesn't trust her, he's walking on eggshells, doing his damndest to not only NOT screw up so badly that he sends her running, but also walking on the eggshells of his heart. He's holding himself back because he knows now, he gets it. If he screws up, the consequences are that he'll get hurt ... again. Those are the consequences. And he feels, perhaps thinks that he knows, that if he puts his heart all out on the line again for her, knowing her, she'll leave him again no matter what he does. And the consequences of that are that this time he may be broken beyond repair. Those are the potential consequences and Logan Echolls finally understands their power.

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Hearst Has A Strict Policy When it Comes to Plagiarism

Veronica Mars is sitting in her Introduction to Criminology lecture as their first assessable essay is handed back. Professor 'Puurrrr' Landry is winding down his You're-A-Bunch-of-Morons pep talk, by pointing out the only essay that was worthy of an 'A' grade. Simultaneously, his T.A., Tim Foyle, hands back Veronica's essay; the camera zooms in on: "A excellent work!" written in a red felt tip pen. "Nice job, Ms. Mars." Veronica's eyes widen in comic horror as about a hundred glares pin her to her chair. And she was trying so hard not to be the most hated girl on campus this year

As the class ends, Tim walks up to Landry with copies of the Columbia study his Professor had clearly requested. Landry brushes him off so he can catch up with Veronica who had been making a desperate bid to escape the lion's den. Too late. Now that he's announced to the class that she's his new pet, he wants to make it official by taking her out to lunch, buffing up her ego and asking if he can adopt her full time: As her faculty sponsor. Veronica looks like she's willing to start batting at a ball of string in his office whenever he likes.

Excited by the news that her favorite Professor has singled her out for his criminology program, she rushes home to gush about Landry to her father who, we all know, has been her criminal investigation idol up until this point. Keith starts to pout about being replaced -- wants to take on her professor in a wrestle -- but Veronica decides her two favorite idols would actually get along; they have a lot in common. Privately, I think Landry has more muscle, but Keith knows how to fight dirty.

The hitch in her academic wet dream appears when Landry's T.A. sends her a text message that he wants to see her. "Needed, not wanted," he corrects when she arrives. He needed to see her because one of the other students has lodged an official complaint, claiming she plagiarized. Like every university, Hearst has a program that scans online for similar phrases. In Tim's words, Veronica's paper, "lit up like a Christmas tree." Sure enough, when Tim shows Veronica her essay in the program almost every word is lit up in red. But this is Veronica Mars and when she says everyone is out to get her, she's not just being paranoid; they really do want to get her. She tells Tim that obviously "someone" is trying to screw with her. Acting as inconspicuous as Robert Downey Jr. at a drug free event, Tim jumps in horrified at the thought Veronica would accuse him just because he doesn't like her. Landry will obviously have to be informed that the apple of his eye, the twinkle in his teeth, the buff in his shoe (please don't make me go on, it only gets worse) is a no-good, dirty plagiarizer. Tim offers Veronica a choice: Either he tells Landry, or she does. Right at that moment, Landry appears in Tim's doorway. Damn him and his brilliant timing

We come back from the credits to find Veronica being confronted by another horrifying situation. Not only has Landry informed her that she only has three days to prove she didn't plagiarize her paper, but now she has to deal with Piz gushing about The Clash too? The world really is out to get her, or at least get in her pants. But apparently Veronica is so frazzled by the plagiarism charge that her lust radar is faulty and she agrees to go out with Piz and "the gang" without picking up on his date-vibes.

Veronica believes that if you look close enough everyone appears to be hiding dark secrets (and she should know since she's accused everyone she knows of hiding dark secrets), so she decides to confront her accuser head on and see what happens. She stands in front of the lecture hall and tells the whole class that someone has accused her of plagiarism and she would like to know who it was. Ballsy, but now everyone probably hates her even more. Nice one, Veronica. She doesn't really expect anyone to confess because she has her money on Tim Foyle being the culprit since he's such a bad-wigged bastard (and you can't say that about many people). To her surprise, someone does put his hand up: Jeff Ratner. She doesn't know him but he seems to know her because he -- naturally -- hates her.

Now on this show we've had plenty of smug rich kids who like to keep their obnoxious arrogance at an equivalent weight to their annual income in gold. Paradoxically, Jeff Ratner is a "common man" that likes to think he's worth his weight in gold. He has all the charm of Dick Casablancas without the money to pay people to ignore it. And that's just tacky. He tells Veronica he made the complaint because he likes when snotty, teacher's pets (that are humiliating the rest of the class) get exposed as cheats. "Yeah. You cheated. I caught you. Deal with it." All he needed was a head wobble and a click of his fingers and he could have officially become a bi-atch, sister. The class applauds and Veronica stands there a little angry, a little embarrassed and if you listen hard enough I'm pretty sure that the theme from The Terminator is starting to play. Oh, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey why don't you just paint a giant bullseye on your ass next time?

When you've been unfairly accused of cheating, the best thing to do is rub shoulders with the most accomplished cheater you know. Or at least, an amateur who decided going pro was too much for his conscience. Veronica goes to see her BFF "Evil Wallace" to get the skinny on his inside source, the tutor that helped him cheat in President Evil. As soon as she gets his name -- Max -- she rushes over to his dorm for assistance. Max struggles to understand the concept of helping Veronica find a cheat rather than become one but she somehow gets him to find what she's looking for anyway. She gets him to search through free sites for an exact copy of her essay on modern forensics. He finds it in two seconds, apparently posted a year ago by a Hearst student named Rory Finch.

Veronica was going to break into the Dean's office using Weevil's keys -- yes, Weevil forgives Veronica just as quickly as Logan does; she must put something 'magic' in her snickerdoodles -- but the door is open so she walks right in. She starts going through the files looking for a student named Rory Finch without thinking about the fact that the door could be open because the Dean is still using his office. So she's shocked when he walks in two seconds later. Yeah, she's a wily one.

Luckily, the Dean did not fall from the same tree as Veronica's old protg Van Clemmons (how we miss him), though it might be fair to compare his brain to something else wooden. The Dean is more interested in drinking scotch, eating popcorn and watching televised violence while his forbidding wife is at one of her functions. He tells her that if Veronica sees his wife, she doesn't need to know he's been doing naughty, forbidden things. While he's distracted, Veronica collects what she came for and makes a clean get away with the Dean none-the-wiser.

Later, she tells Wallace that she has discovered that no student named Rory Finch ever attended Hearst college. The hearst.org e-mail address was a fake set up three days ago to post her paper from none other than the Neptune Grand. As far as the plagiarism charge is concerned, she's in the clear and Wallace is pleased that it's over. But this is Veronica Mars, it's not over until her foot is up some proverbial fat lady's ass and she's singing soprano. Too graphic? Yeah. I'll never mix vengeful Veronica Mars lines again.

Veronica heads on over to the Neptune Grand to pick up Logan for the bowling date Piz doesn't know she invited her boyfriend on. (Sidebar: Is Logan ever going to be the man in this relationship?) After smacking a kiss on his very receptive lips, she asks him for a favor. (Code for intimacy in Veronica Mars land, yay!) She wants to know if Logan has any inside connections in the seedy Neptune Grand that could slip him information he's not supposed to know. Logan thinks for a moment as he ties his shoes and then slides Veronica a conspiratorial look. Of course he has 'connections;' he's Logan Echolls, never far from the queue of gorgeous blondes panting after him. Enter Tina, Neptune Grand clerk, all too willing to do 'anything' for her pal, Logan. As amusing as her jealousy is, Veronica remembers to retract her claws (mostly); it's not clever to scratch out the eyes of the person you're asking for a favor. Maybe later

Logan asks Tina if she could find someone registered in the hotel; Veronica jumps in with the name 'Rory Finch.' After pretending to be concerned about the legalities, Tina looks up the name in their database to find Rory Finch's registered stays. He checked in a week ago and stayed a few other times going back a couple of months. Always for one night. Veronica, in full spy-mode, asks for any information Tina has but unfortunately Rory Finch only has a post-office box as an address and he paid in cash. Veronica asks Tina to call her on her cell phone if Rory Finch checks in again. "Sure. Any friend of Logan's," she flirts with a smile. Okay, so, that comment about the claws? A couple of them slip out as Veronica curls her arm around Logan's elbow, "Girlfriend of Logan's. Come on boyfriend, let's bowl." Okay, Veronica -- as amusing as it is -- there's no need to mark your territory. Much.

Later, Veronica and Logan are unwinding from the stress of participating in the bowling soap opera, The Piz and the Beautiful, when room service knocks on the door. As soon as Logan greets the waiter at the door, Veronica recognizes his voice and shoots to her feet. It's Jeff Ratner, in his spiffy Neptune Grand uniform. Veronica smiles like the proverbial cat licking her lips for her next canary. Logan recognizes the look (since it's been aimed at him in many pleasant -- and not so pleasant -- moments) and smiles as he stands back to watch his girl work. As Logan tries out his steak in the background, Veronica explains that Ratner is the guy trying to get her tossed out of Landry's class. Since he works at the Neptune Grand, it's clear that Ratner has to be Rory Finch. Ratner is just pissed off that the pretty, blonde girl-detective has been too busy snuggling up to her boyfriend in the penthouse suite to notice that he's worked there for two years. To Ratner, Veronica is another 09er-type looking down on the "little people" as she lounges around with CaptainAdmiral Moneybags. He doesn't seem sorry for what he's done either, and Veronica's predatory glare reaches optimum Die-Now range as he leaves them to their dinner. "That's my girl," Logan says, "spreading sunshine wherever she goes." If by sunshine he means death threats, then yeah. That's his girl. And aren't they just perfect for each other?

Just when Veronica thinks it's over, she gets a call from her new pal, Tina, telling her that Rory Finch has checked in again. She picks up Rory's room number and moves toward the elevator only to come across the disturbing scene of Keith Mars making moves in the Neptune Grand bar. He's ordering two martinis for himself and the lovely -- but very much married -- Harmony. Veronica worries that Keith is getting too attached to an unhappily married woman as she travels up to the ninth floor to confront her illusive nemesis.

She knocks on the door of room 906, snark and taser ready to go, and the door opens. It's Mrs. O'Dell, the Dean's wife. Not exactly the first person Veronica thought would have a motive to accuse her of plagiarism. Instead of opening a can of whoop-ass, Veronica is too confused to do much more than murmur "wrong room." Just as she's about to add a couple of wrinkles to her forehead with all that frowning, the elevator dings open and she looks up to see Professor Landry walking toward her with a bottle of wine. After an awkward conversation in the hallway, Veronica says, "I'll see you in class ... Rory Finch." Sure enough the Professor looks back at her guiltily and Veronica's shoulders slump as the doors to the elevator close behind her. Hmmm. Looks like her father isn't the only one a little too interested in an unhappily married woman. See, they do have a lot in common!

Veronica goes to see Tim Foyle again to hand in the proof that she didn't plagiarize her essay. That's the end of that. He asks her if she figured out who was behind it. She did, via a process of elimination, "Why did you do it?" Tim pauses the conversation with a standard 'it wasn't me' disclaimer, before 'hypothetically' claiming that someone in his position might send Veronica on a treasure hunt so that she could see that her professor wasn't the jewel she thought he was. It might be helpful to Veronica to see the professor for whom he really is, before she falls for his charm like Tim did when he was the star pupil. Before she leaves his office, her new sleuthing nemesis asks if she really believed Jeff Ratner was behind everything.

Oh crap.

The scene shifts to reveal Neptune Grand security opening up Ratner's car trunk and discovering dozens of little shampoo bottles, towels and soaps that he's 'stolen' from them. He denies that he put them there but he's busted.

Whoops.

Can we let this one moment of incorrectly targeted revenge slide because he's a tool? Why not! Yeah, karma's a bitch and her name's Veronica. He may have been innocent but at least she won't have to worry about his voice interrupting her boyfriend-time again when they're snuggling in the penthouse. Let this be a lesson to him, never try to out-sass a member of the Mars family.

- Veronica, having just been falsely accused of plagiarism, is walking through the cafeteria in a daze, shaking her head in shock. Piz notices her, from a nearby table, and runs over to her, excited about a record album he's holding. He babbles on about how he picked up an unscratched vinyl of London Calling for ninety-nine cents because some lady threw her husband out and had a garage sale to get rid of all his stuff. He's living in Awesome!Land right now, but Veronica can only take it for a moment before she blurts out that her mentor/professor has just given her three days to prove she didn't plagiarize a major paper. The universe is aligned against her (again), so nothing at all is awesome right now. So Piz suggests she go bowling. At first she's doubtful that bowling could be a solution to her problems (as am I), and then she looks nervously worried that he might be suggesting that they go bowling together alone. Quickly covering, so as to remove her worries, he throws in that Wallace and "the whole gang" should come, too. Thursday nights are dollar nights at Fun Bowl. She questions whether bowling will take her mind off of the fact that everyone is out to get her, but he assures her that it worked for Nixon. And it'll be fun.

A classroom clock hits 2:00 pm exactly. The proctor standing at the front of the class tells the students currently taking a Sociology test that it's time to put their pencils down and turn their papers in. Everyone does as they're told, getting up from their desks and setting their papers in front of the proctor. Everyone that is, except for Logan. He glances at the other students leaving as he spends just a few seconds longer finishing up his sentence. Satisfied, he takes it to the front of the class and tosses it down. The proctor picks it up and gives it back to Logan. He's sorry, but since Logan kept writing after he called time, he can't accept it. Logan protests that he was just finishing his thought, but the guy repeats that time was called. Seeing he's not getting anywhere with the jerk, Logan acts indignant and asks the guy if he has any idea who he is? The proctor gets annoyed and says that he doesn't and he really doesn't care. When he goes to get his jacket, Logan takes the opportunity to stick his paper in the middle of the pile. The proctor turns around to see Logan shuffle all the papers together and realizes he's been outsmarted. Throwing a smile back at the guy, Logan leaves. Heh.

Later, Logan and Mercer are sharing a table in the cafeteria. Mercer's impressed at Logan's tale of victorious battle against the evil proctor, and goes on about how classically awesome it was. Until he sees Veronica walk up behind Logan. Then he puts on an act of righteous condemnation. He doesn't condone what Logan did and had nothing to do with his decision to do it. Curious, Veronica asks what he's talking about. Cheating, Mercer tattles. He told Logan it was wrong and that he's going to burn in HELL. Logan's positive he'll see him there. When Mercer leaves, Veronica lifts Logan's arm off the back of a chair and sits next to him. He puts his arm around her as she asks him if he cheated. He explains that he took ten extra seconds on a test, but doesn't she love the bad boys? She does, but thinks he needs to turn in his membership if that's the baddest he can be. Leaning on his shoulder and confiscating his soda, she asks him if he'd like to go bowling tomorrow night. He's in, as long as it's actual bowling and not a seminar about bowling. Veronica tells him that it could be fun. It'll be with Wallace, his roommate and some other guys. Logan notices that Veronica's staring across the room. Parker's alone at a table, looking a little sad. Veronica mentions that Parker's been all alone this week because Mac's been working on a project. Maybe they should invite Parker along for the bowling?

So Veronica walks over to Parker's table as she's about to leave and asks her if she'd like to go bowling together. For a little hatchet-burying between them. Unless she'd rather see Veronica fed to bears. Parker smiles at that. Or possibly, the bowling invitation.

Wallace returns to his dorm room, loaded up with his books. Piz is dressed for bowling and ready to go out for some fun. Wallace sits at his desk, getting ready to study and complains that he's pretty sure he'll never have fun again. Then it dawns on him that this was the night they were supposed to go bowling with Veronica. Whoops. He can't make it because he has studying to do. Piz starts freaking out that Wallace has to go because he told Veronica the whole gang, including Wallace, would be there. Wallace is amused at his predicament, realizing that it'll look like he set her up and it'll be awkward, but it's not his problem right now.

Veronica's trying to decide what shirt to wear on bowling night, so she consults Keith for his expert opinion. Should she wear the "earnest, I'm really bowling" bowling shirt? Or the "I'm too cool for bowling and I'm only here ironically" Moose-Tastic t-shirt? Keith wonders when crappy old shirts with stupid stuff on them became cool. Veronica's wondering why she asks him these things anyway.

"Hi, honey, I'm home!" Veronica calls out as she walks into Logan's place. He's sitting in his bedroom, putting his shoes on. When he starts to ask about the Moose-Tastic shirt she's wearing, she cuts him off with a kiss. She's so tired of explaining.

And it's time to bowl at Fun Bowl! Piz sees Veronica walk in and calls her over. She looks around expectantly, wondering where everyone else is. His smile falls when he sees her boyfriend walking up. Logan reintroduces himself as Logan. Her boyfriend. Veronica asks again where Wallace and the rest of the gang are. Piz admits that Wallace had a crisis, so bailed. Seeing no one else around, Veronica realizes it might just be the three of them, which awkward. Before he has to explain that "the gang" are only imaginary friends of his, Parker joins them. Veronica's happy (and a bit relieved) to see her. Like the others, Parker's curious where everyone else is hiding themselves. Everyone turns to Piz for an answer. Laughing nervously, he points out that they all need shoes. Logan asks his "darling" for the size of her "dainty feet" that he loves so much, then walks Piz over to the shoe counter, asking him if he goes bowling with "the gang" a lot. (Heh.) When the girls are alone, Parker gets upset with Veronica because she thinks she's been set up on a double date with Piz. Veronica swears that isn't the case. Parker considers it, then relents to stay, but doesnt consider this to be a fun evening.

And strike! Parker's just bowled one and is screaming and raising her arms in victory, taunting the other team that's she's just bowled two-thirds of a turkey. She high-fives her teammate, Logan, so hard that he has to rub his dainty little hand. Parker continues heckling the other team, especially Piz who's getting ready for his turn. Logan goes to get some refreshments and the girls have a moment alone. Veronica asks Parker if this is fun and the girl apologizes for being grumpy about it earlier. She's enjoying being out in the world again. Seeing that Piz has just bowled a 7-10, the worst spare to have to make, Veronica weakly tries to encourage her teammate to make it, while Parker obnoxiously tells him, "Don't blow it, Pizzzz." He sullenly makes his way back to the lane and Parker asks Veronica for some info. Like, is he single? Veronica's confused at the sudden turn in conversation. Parker thinks he's cute. Veronica looks even more confused. And she wants Veronica to find out what Piz thinks of her. At this, Veronica looks like she's just been invited to another slumber party at Gia's. (Can't say that I blame her.) Who knew making new girlfriends came with such girly-girl drama?

Back at the hotel, Veronica plops herself down on Logan's couch, vowing no more fun because it's too exhausting. Logan's changing his shirt in the other room and suggests that they should get some weight-training in before their next bowling outing. Veronica clarifies that she wasn't talking about the physical exertion so much as the whole ridiculous soap opera plot she got pulled into. She's been tasked with finding out if Piz likes Parker and isn't sure if she's just supposed to go the whole junior high route of passing him a note or what. Suddenly noticing Logan's test paper laying out, Veronica looks at it and asks him if he got an A. Logan says he did, but sarcastically jokes that the "cheating" cheapens it. He climbs over the back of the couch and sits next to her, while he tells her that his former "cellmate" Horshack got caught taking two tests. The second test he was taking for their psycho guard, Rafe. (Hmm. I wonder if that'll make it into the professor's study results.)

The next day, Veronica unhappily walks to the radio station remembering with horror the time, eight years ago, that Suzie Doyle made her ask Brad Stark if he liked her. The potential love match never spoke again and Veronica has no illusions that she's gotten any better at it. She enters the room and uncomfortably waves at Piz, who's on the phone. When he hangs up she politely thanks him for the fun bowling night. He's glad she had fun and hopes Logan did, too. (Riiiight.) She agrees that Logan had a good time, everyone had a good time. Including Parker, she adds. Cool, he's glad since she seems nice. Seeing an opening at last, Veronica asks if he really thinks so. Because Then, she has to stop because of the temporary paralysis brought on by the traumatic stress flashback to a similar sixth grade conversation. Somehow she manages to go on and tell him that Parker thought he was cool. He stares blankly at her. And also cute, she says almost expectantly. He laughs nervously, then gets it, but starts stammering that Parker's really nice but not his type. She's disappointed and clearly dreading having to break the news to Parker.

Veronica's working in the library when Parker rushes up to her, all atwitter that she's found out about Piz's radio show. He'll be on tonight and since the station is right in the Student Union, she was thinking the two of them could just "drop by." Not wanting to risk further trauma by telling the girl that Piz isn't interested, Veronica tries to kill the idea by suggesting it'll be really late. Parker doesn't care, though. It'll be fun! Piz is finishing up his radio show, when he sees Veronica walk up to the window. He nods a greeting and tells listeners that it's time for Club Flush next. Then he sees Parker walk up beside Veronica and smile at him. He smiles and waves back, a little, totally feeling the awkward. The girls walk in to the station and Parker goes on and on about how interested she is in how all the stuff works. Maybe Piz can show her sometime. Fortunately (or unfortunately), she remains oblivious to the daggered eye look Piz just shot at Veronica, who looks just a bit embarrassed at her cowardice. Piz cuts Parker's tour short, though, because the guy who does the club in house show is supposed to be starting right now. So the clueless girl suggests they all go for pizza.

- Dean O'Dell walks out of his office to greet Professor Winkler, apologizing for keeping him waiting. Wallace is sitting there, looking like a condemned man. He gets up to face the music, just as Veronica walks out of the Dean's office and past him, surprised to see him there. Wallace throws an ashamed glance back at his BFF, then is ushered into the Dean's office. Everyone's seated and Winkler explains that even though it's hardly the first time they've caught an athlete cheating, he's accepting partial responsibility for accepting Wallace into his program in the first place. They usually don't take athletes, especially ones with standardized test scores as low as Wallace's. The program is just too demanding. Wallace is squirming by now, what with being caught cheating and now being basically told he's not smart enough for the engineering program. The shame is momentarily interrupted when Mindy brings her husband his bagged lunch. As the Dean grumbles about having no cookie, Mindy tells him to be merciful with the boy before him, then leaves. O'Dell asks Wallace what he has to say for himself. Wallace is in complete agreement with Mrs. O'Dell's thoughts on mercy.

Wallace and his friend Mason are sitting on the gym floor, stretching before basketball practice. Mason's confused as to why Wallace is bummed. He wanted to drop his class before and now, when given the chance to do so after add/drops are over, he's not happy. Wallace hasn't decided yet what he wants to do. The coach blows his whistle and calls the team to the floor. He tosses the ball to Wallace and tells him he's going to be the starter today. Wallace is surprised, but pleased. Mason not so much. He starts to protest, but the coach warns Mason that if he wants to keep his starting job, he needs to keep earning it. Wallace pats Mason on the back and takes the ball to the court. Mason is not a happy baller.

Veronica shows up at Wallace's room and pokes her head in to see if he's there. He is, but denies that "Wallace" is there, as he sits moping and staring at the airplane in his hand. Veronica's confused and Wallace explains that he in fact is Evil Wallace and he knows that Veronica Mars doesn't hang with the evil and morally bankrupt. She assures him that Evil Wallace wouldn't have confessed and faced the consequences, so nope, she smiles, he's Regular Wallace. He gives her the news that he's been given the chance to drop his class with no repercussions, but it means giving up his major. Pointing at the airplane in his hand, he explains that figuring out how stuff works was the first thing he was ever into. It's all he's ever wanted to do. She tells him that she knows that Regular Wallace will work it all out.

Professor Winkler's passing some papers out to his engineering class, advising them that these formulas need to be memorized as soon as possible. He's surprised to see Wallace enter the class. Wallace doesn't want to drop it. It may not be the smart choice, but he'll take the zero on the last test and if he averages a C or above on the remaining four tests, he'll be able to pass. Winkler smiles and gives him the latest assignment.

Later, Wallace is in the library, studying, with some tunes playing on his iPod. Veronica, who's wrapping up her shift at the help desk, goes over to him and whispers that he's going to ruin his eyes with all that book-learnin' he's doing. Loudly (way too loudly), Wallace tells her he took the zero on the test and stayed in Winkler's class. She makes a face and points at his earphones. He takes them out and explains that he needs to study. She suspected as much. When he goes back to work, she leans in and whispers some words of encouragement: he's Rocky, mechanical engineering is Mr. T and "Eye of the Tiger" is playing. Done imparting her special kind of wisdom, Veronica tells him she'll see him later on and leaves. After a second, he realizes what she just said and gets confused, so he calls after her, "What? When?"

It's 9:06 a.m. and Wallace's alarm buzzer is going off. He's dead to the world, though, books open still from a long night of studying. Piz walks into the room, hair still wet from his shower, and calls out to Wallace. No response. He starts to walk over to him and bumps into a tennis racket, which he picks up on his way. Piz tries to get some kind of reaction from Wallace by telling him that school policy will let him keep his stuff if he's dead, so he just shouldn't say anything. Still nothing. So he starts poking Wallace gently with the racket. This finally gets a conscious reaction from the poor guy, who then freaks out when he sees how late it is. Piz acts disappointed and calls out that he could have taken his iPod as Wallace grabs his bag and runs out.

Wallace shows up at the gym as his team is already on the court, practicing. He rushes over to the coach and apologizes for missing his alarm. Mason sarcastically calls Wallace "Sleeping Beauty," but the coach shoos him back into the game. Turning his attention to his new starter, the coach warns Wallace that he shouldn't blow this chance by staying up partying all night. Poor overwhelmed Wallace goes to suit up, rubbing his head in frustration along the way.

The latest engineering class practice quiz is being passed back to the students with the warning that all material will be on the next exam. Getting to Wallace, he returns the quiz. He scored a 67, which is a D+. Winkler smiles that it's some real improvement, but Wallace is still disappointed.

Wallace goes to his coach, later, and makes a difficult decision. He explains that he has a class that's killing him and he doesn't want to drop it and have to change majors, so he feels he needs to take the semester off from basketball. He could be back by mid-season. He does this, knowing that he might not get to keep his scholarship. Fortunately, the coach isn't such a hardass, though. He tells Wallace to keep the scholarship, but he should also know that he's throwing away his chance to be a starter and probably won't be able to play on the team at all this year. Is he really prepared for that? Wallace nods that he is.

And we later see Wallace taking copious notes as Winkler lectures on Hooke's Law. Aww. I think Alicia would be a little proud of her boy.

- Keith's at home, doing the dishes, when the phone rings. It's Harmony Chase. He's surprised to hear from her and asks if everything's okay. It is. She knows that their professional relationship is over, but she really enjoyed talking with Keith. Her husband and daughter are in Orlando for a couple of weeks and she has passes for the Noir Festival at the Orient, but no one to go with. She was thinking that maybe he'd like to join her and take in a movie, since he's a guy with an interest in the noir business. Keith hesitates to answer, glancing a bit nervously towards Veronica's room as he considers the offer.

Later, we see Keith and Harmony exiting a movie theater that's playing The Maltese Falcon and The Big Sleep. She's asking him if what they just saw was an accurate depiction of life as a P.I. Keith says it's pretty close, even though he's never been hired to locate a Maltese falcon. A Maltese dog, on the other hand, did once try to elude him. They laugh as he explains that he had a client whose show dog was kidnapped by her ex-husband. As they come to the end of their "not a date," Harmony thanks him for coming. With the way things are with her husband these days, she can't remember the last time she just hung out and talked with someone. Keith agrees, then after a momentary pause, tells her goodnight and shakes her hand. Then follows it up with a nervously awkward hug.

On another day, Keith's home and talking to Harmony again on the phone. The film festival is playing Out of the Past, one of his favorites, tomorrow night. Harmony, however, has a conference at the Neptune Grand, so she doesnt think she'll be able to make it. She'd still like to do something, though. He's disappointed, but tells her to keep him posted and hangs up.

A couple of minutes later, Veronica notices the film festival pamphlet on the counter and asks him if he was just making a date with the person he was talking to on the phone. He denies it and when he mentions that it was Harmony he was talking to, Veronica gets concerned. This is the Harmony with the non-cheating husband? He's going on a date with a married woman? He tries to laugh it off, that it's not a date. They only saw a movie, had a drink and talked. Which, like Veronica points out, is often called a date. Keith insists they're just mature adults who happen to be friends. Veronica's skeptical face pretty much says it all.

The next evening, Veronica is walking across the lobby at the Neptune Grand, when she spots her father at the bar. She goes over to say hi and he tells her he's just there grabbing a drink. When the bartender places two martinis before him, Veronica catches the guilty glance Keith throws across the room. Yep, there's Harmony over there. Another round is played of "What are you doing going out with a married woman?" / "It's complete innocent." And in the end Keith's attempts to convince Veronica not to worry about the situation fail miserably, as she walks away.

While the "mature adults" enjoy their martinis, Keith comments that he'll have to settle for just one if he's going to be able to drive home. Harmony tells him that they really don't have to worry if they don't want to. Keith pretends to not catch on to her meaning, so she tries to be more explicit. After a long, nervous pause, she confesses that she's been doing a lot of thinking and she doesnt want to be counting her regrets when she's on her deathbed one day. Keith still feigns ignorance, so Harmony spits it out. She got a room at the hotel, so if there's a chance they might want to use it ... She sees the uncomfortable look on Keith's face and is aghast and totally embarrassed now. Keith gently tells her that he doesn't know if that's such a good idea for them right now. She apologizes for ruining things between them, but he assures her she didn't. She's amazing, but he can't do this. He really wants to say yes, but he doesn't know which he would regret more. Being with her or not being with her. So he apologizes and leaves, as Harmony tries not to cry.

Keith drives home from the hotel, lost in thought as he sits in the intersection waiting to make a turn. Suddenly, a truck crashes right into his car. (Gasps are heard across the fandom.) The other driver gets out and rushes to see if Keith's ok. He is. (Sighs of relief replace the gasps.) His airbag is currently smothering his face, but he's good. The truck driver swears that he didn't see the stop sign and after Keith gets out of the car, trying to gather his bearings, he goes to call for help. Keith stands there for a moment, catching his breath. Then he starts laughing a little in relief. And a look of determination comes over his face.

Harmony's standing at the door of her hotel room, looking through the peep hole. She opens it to find Keith standing there. Not saying a word, he grabs her and kisses her passionately, shutting the door as the intensity of their kiss grows.

The next morning, Veronica is cooking eggs and calling out to her father to come eat his breakfast. There's no response. She calls out again and still nothing. So she goes to his room and, after knocking, opens the door to find his bed hasn't been slept in.

- Veronica's paper, when shown to her online by Tim, shows the following information:

Student: Veronica Mars, 33-92811
Title: Integrating Criminological Theories and Perspectives for a Truer Understanding
Info: Processed on 11-04-06 at 3:34pm. Word Count: 3347

- Veronica wears size six shoes.

- Wallace's player number on the Hearst basketball team is #3.

- Parker wears size seven shoes.

- Tim Foyle has been studying under Professor Landry for three years.

- Mason's player number on the basketball team is #15.

- Max lives in Clark Hall.

- Veronica and Nish are sitting in the reception area outside the Dean's office on opposite ends of the couch, the physical manifestation of their opposing perspectives on the latest development in the Hearst Serial Rapist mystery. In the background we can hear Dean ODell giving faux-rape victim Claire hell for faking her attack. I so love that you hear him quip "What universe do you live in?" and "Are you completely insane?" Excellent questions, sir!

Nish snottily asks Veronica if this is what she wanted and of course, Veronicas like "Yes, Nish. I totally wanted Claire to be faking her attack so that she could ruin the credibility of the other victims. Because honestly, nothing would make me happier than to see this rapist continue assaulting women at this University." Stupidest. Question. Ever. Grrr. But there's no more time for chit-chat because the Dean's ready to bring the girls into the fray.

Veronica and Nish enter the office in just enough time to witness the Dean putting Claire's lawyer handily in his place. He reminds this dude that they have facts, witness statements, photos and the boyfriend who helped perpetrate the faux rape -- all courtesy of Veronica -- in support of the allegations against Claire. Which means that, in light of the school charter, his options for how to deal with her are very clear. He tells the lawyer that he's welcome to fight the charter if he likes, but the University's lawyers are way scarier than he is. (Not that that would be hard.) Then he tells Claire that she's expelled from Hearst as of that moment and she and her lawyer need to beat it, pronto. Claire stalks to the door, lawyer in tow, and snaps at Veronica, "Happy?" Like Veronica, I'm not going to bother responding to this again because I'm fairly confident that I covered the appropriate response to this stupid question pretty thoroughly about one paragraph up.

The Dean barely pauses for a breath before diving right into his issues with Nish. The Dean is rather perturbed that Nish didn't deem the story Veronica put together on Claire's faked attack worthy of publication in the school newspaper. After all, the evidence was simple and clear. Nish goes right into her horrendously annoying one-note feminist rant about how she felt she had a responsibility to "exercise some judgment" because "it's a powder keg out there." I'm going to read that as "it didnt further my crazy, man-hating agenda against the fraternity houses so it wasn't worth including." The Dean clearly agrees with me because he points out that Nish seemed to be lacking in caution when she implicated the Pi Sig house in the rapes. She ought to at least be pretending to be objective.

That having been said, he thinks it's about time Nish stepped down as editor of the paper. Nish gets all anxious and panicky and tells him that he can't do that because it's a student-run paper! As the Dean reminds her, he's a cagey old man and there are no limits to what he can and cannot do at Hearst. So she's done now too, for good. Dismissed.

Can I just pause for a moment to say: Go Dean! Go Dean! Go, go, go Dean! I never imagined I would say this, but the Dean is so bad ass. He totally rules.

Nish storms out, but not before telling both the Dean and Veronica that they'll both regret this. I don't think either one of them is particularly bothered by this threat 'cause really, what can the girl do?

Several days later, Veronica is indulging Parker's newfound crush on Piz (and I give that a great big 'whatever') by accompanying her on a "drop by" of Pizs radio show. As the trio is on the way out for some pizza, Mercer is on his way in to do his radio show "Club Flush." Seeing a new hot girl he hasn't met, Mercer introduces himself to Parker and seems a bit taken with her. She seems less than thrilled. In fact, she looks downright peaked. Completely forgetting her desire to hang out with Piz and gorge on pizza, she drags Veronica out of the studio.

Veronica can clearly see that Parker is upset and wonders what has triggered her anxiety. Parker tells Veronica that meeting Mercer really wigged her out because she recognized him. Well, not him exactly, but his cologne. The scent has been forever burned into her brain because it was the same cologne the rapist was wearing the night she was attacked. Add to that the bad vibe she got when she shook his hand, and you've got all the ingredients for a proper freak-out. Veronica totally sympathizes and assures Parker that while Mercer's busy pumping out club jams, she'll do some surreptitious investigating.

Using Weevil's keys (and boy have those come in handy this week!) Veronica takes a quick tour of Mercer's room. She finds his cologne and makes note of the name. The only other suspicious item she comes across is a pair of hair clippers, seemingly hidden away in a dresser drawer. Not exactly solid proof, but definitely suspicious. The next day, Veronica pays a visit to the Sheriffs office to trade barbed insults with Lamb and share a sarcastic chuckle over his totally inappropriate "rape humor." And then we apparently take a side trip into an alternate universe where Veronica takes her suspicions and her somewhat shaky evidence to Lamb. For further investigation. Of a crime she knows he's innately skeptical of and jackassish about. To quote Simon Tam of the late, great Firefly, "This must be what going crazy feels like."

Craziness aside, Veronica tells Lamb about Parker's run-in with Mercer, the smell of his cologne, and the things she found when she just happened to be in his room that night. And Lamb listens. And takes her seriously. And shares with her the information he has on Mercer. "No ... this must be what going crazy feels like." Lamb tells Veronica that when they recovered the cash box from the casino robbery, in addition to wads of cash they also discovered two vials of GHB, the very same drug used on two of the rape victims. Duhn, duhn, duhn, DUHN! Red herring, thy name is Mercer Hayes.

Later that day, after confronting T.A. Tim about setting her up with the whole plagiarism scam, she notices that he has a bulletin board dedicated to the Hearst rapes. You know, the kind of crazy news clipping board that every movie serial killer keeps -- which, Im hoping will make Veronica recognize that Tim is SO clearly another red herring in this complex mystery. Tim comments that the police have recovered no physical evidence from any of the attacks: No hair, no semen, no trace of any kind. Oooh! New information! And I agree, it is pretty interesting. Veronica studies the board intently and utters a brief "huh" in an attempt to screw with Tim's head and make him think she sees something he doesn't. But is she really faking? Only time will tell.

The next day Veronica gets roped into sharing part of her lunch with the Dean in the Student Union as she seems to be one of the few college students he actually likes. Moments later, Logan approaches looking really anxious and tells her he needs to talk to her. He pulls Veronica aside and tells her that he needs her help. Apparently red-herring Mercer has just been arrested for the rapes, but Logan knows that Mercer's innocent and he needs Veronica's help to prove it. Based on her own recent investigation into Mercer's life, Veronica is clearly less than certain that Logan's got the right of it. But Logan is emphatic that he knows that Mercer didnt do it because they were together the night of the rape that occurred over the summer. The catch? He can't tell Veronica where they were or what they were doing. He just begs her to trust him. A statement immediately followed by the groan heard round the world.

Why, you might ask? Mainly due to the ominous sound that immediately followed Logan's plea for trust. Do you know what that sound is folks? It is the bell of relationship DOOM tolling in the distance. Because despite her comments about trying to act "unnaturally" I have little hope that Veronica will actually, in fact, trust Logan on this vital issue. Eeeeeeeeeek.

"Prince of Wands" (Douglas Armour)

Scene: Unpleasant sixth-grade flashbacks? Bad. Having to look at Piz's haircut for longer than two seconds? Horrific.

"I'm Not In Love" (10cc)

Scene: Hmm, thinks Keith. Crash!, goes Keith car. Hmm, thinks Keith again with a laugh. 'Ooh, baby' goes Keith and the cheating wife.

LoVe Lines

Mercer: That is classic.
Logan: It was a proctor. The professor wasn't even there.
Mercer: That is so awesome. (Sees Veronica approaching.) But I do not condone it in any way and had nothing to do with your decision to do it.
Veronica: Do what?
Mercer: Cheating. I told him it was wrong and he was going to burn in Hell. (To Logan.) You're going to burn in Hell, man.
Logan: I'll see you there.

---

Veronica: (Taking a seat next to Logan.) You cheated?
Logan: I took ten extra seconds on a test. I thought you loved bad boys.
Veronica: I do, but if that's your idea of bad, you need to turn in your badge. (Rests her arm on Logan's shoulder.) Hey, do you want to go bowling tomorrow night? (Leans forward to grab Logan's drink.)
Logan: Sure. Unless it's some critical analysis of bowling seminar, then --
Veronica: No, it's just Wallace and his roommate and some other guys. Could be fun. (Shrugs, then notices Parker sitting alone at a table.)
Logan: What?
Veronica: Just Mac's had this project all week and Parker's all alone. (Taps Logan's shoulder.) I think we should invite her along.
Logan: Mm, how very Emma of you.
Veronica: Did you just make a Jane Austen reference? It's official, (Mockingly.) the end of days are upon us.

---

Veronica: (Entering Logan's suite.) Hi honey, I'm home.
Logan: (Sitting at the end of his bed, tying his shoe.) Hey, moosetastic, huh? What's that -- (Veronica interrupts him with a kiss.) Mmmm.
Veronica: So tired of explaining. Hey, you've lived here awhile, do you have any inside connections?
Logan: (Switches to the other shoe.) Inside connections like what?
Veronica: Like, someone on staff you're pals with who might sneak you info they're not supposed to?

---

Veronica: (At hotel desk, waiting for Tina to be free.) Your pal? (Off Logan's nod.) Of course.
Logan: (As Tina approaches them.) Hi, Tina, uh, this is Veronica, Veronica ... (Making introductions, gestures at Tina.)
Tina: Hi. What's going on, Logan?
Logan: Listen, I've got a little favor.
Tina: (Whispering.) Anything.
Logan: I'm trying to find out if a person, who was registered here, someone named -- (Looks to Veronica.)
Veronica: Rory Finch.
Tina: This isn't illegal, is it? (Laughs after Logan and Veronica stare back blankly.) No, I'm just kidding. Hold on. (Logan blows a kiss at Veronica as Tina looks it up.) Yeah, Rory Finch. She stayed with us for a night a week ago and a few other times over the last couple of months. Always one-night stays.
Veronica: Is there an address, credit-card number?
Tina: Mmm, post-office box and paid in cash. All I've got's a name.
Veronica: If I left my cell number, could you call me if they checked back in?
Tina: Sure. (Grinning at Logan.) Any friend of Logan's.
Veronica: Girlfriend of Logan's. (Taking Logan's arm and leading him away.) Come on Boyfriend, let's bowl.

---

Piz: (To Veronica as she approaches him at the bowling alley.) Hey Veronica. Cool shirt. (Pointing out his own shirt.) I went the, uh, post-ironic route.
Veronica: Hey, Piz. (Looking around.) Where's ...
Piz: (To Logan when he comes up behind Veronica.) Oh, hey, uh
Logan: (Smiling, amused.) Logan. Her boyfriend. We met.
Piz: Right.
Veronica: So, where's Wallace? And the rest of this gang?
Piz: (Lamely.) Right, uh, the gang. Well, Wallace had a crisis, so he can't make it, and um
Veronica: (Uncomfortably.) So, it's just --
Parker: (Approaching the group.) Veronica. Hi.
Veronica: Hey, Parker. How's it going?
Parker: Hey.
Veronica: (Pointing to Logan.) Uh, you met Logan, right?
Parker: (To Logan.) Yeah, hi, sure.
Logan: Hi.
Veronica: (Pointing to Piz.) And you remember Piz.
Parker: (Shakes Piz's hand.) Yeah, hi. (Looking around at the group.) So, um. Where is everyone?
Piz: (Laughs, breaking the silence.) Hey, shoes. We need shoes.
Logan: Yeah, let's get shoes. (Turning to Veronica.) Uh, Darling, what size are those dainty feet that I love so much?
Veronica: Six.
Logan: (Putting a hand on Piz's shoulder, leading him away.) So bowling, huh? Is this something you do a lot? You and the gang?

---

Parker: (Bowls a strike.) Yay hooooo! That's two-thirds of a Turkey, bitches. (High fives Logan.) Ah, you're in a deep hole, Piznarski. We're gonna totally humiliate you, but, you know, no pressure.
Logan: Refreshments?
Piz: Ten Martinis.
Logan: Anyone else? (Looking at Veronica.) Dearest, darling?

---

Veronica: (Throws herself down on Logan's couch.) Oh, no more fun. Too exhausting.
Logan: Yeah. Next time we'll get in some weight training before we bowl. (Takes off his shirt. Yay!)
Veronica: Just the soap opera. Parker wants me to find out if Piz likes her. What do I do? Pass a note? Scribble it on his Trapper Keeper? (Looks down at the coffee table.) Hey, did you get an A? (Picks up his Sociology test.)
Logan: Yeah. But, the cheating kinda cheapens the whole thing. (Puts a shirt on. Boo!)
Veronica: You're only cheating yourself.
Logan: (Jumps onto the couch beside Veronica.) Yeah, well, I got off easy. You know that kid Horshack, from the Prison Experiment? He got caught doing two tests. They busted him. And guess who else? That psycho guard that was tormenting him so bad, Rafe, yeah, he was taking his test for him. Can you believe that? People are crazy, huh? (Hears a knock at the door.) Oh, thank god. Real food.

---

Logan: Oh, you guys know each other?
Veronica: You want to tell him, Ratner?
Ratner: What's to tell?
Veronica: This is the guy who's trying to get me tossed out of Landry's class.
Ratner: You should be. You cheated.
Veronica: Now it turns out you work at the Neptune Grand, which happens to be where the fake paper was posted from. Strange, huh, Rory Finch?
Ratner: What are you talking about? I don't "happen to work here." I've worked here two years. You've seen me a hundred times, but you don't notice the little people 'cause you're too busy lounging with Captain Moneybags here.
Logan: That's Admiral Moneybags.
Ratner: I trust our steak's to your liking?
Logan: Always.
Ratner: Good night, then. (Leaves.)
Logan: Well, that's my girl. Spreading sunshine wherever she goes.
Veronica: That boy doesn't know it yet, but he's the living dead. (Logan kisses the back of her head.)

Quotable Quotes

Nish: So, is this what you wanted?
Veronica: (Sadly and incredulously.) You think this is what I wanted?

---

Dean O'Dell: Yes. We have photos, we have witnesses, we have the boyfriend who helped. There's no question Claire lied about the rape and the Hearst Charter is quite clear about this. You want to challenge the charter, that's fine. We have lawyers too, and they're a lot scarier than you, Mr. Davis. Miss Nordhouse. You're expelled from Hearst College as of this moment, and so is your lawyer. (Pauses.) That's all.

---

Dean O'Dell: I found the facts fairly simple to corroborate.
Nish: I felt I had a responsibility to exercise some caution with a story implying the rapes might have been faked. In case you haven't noticed, it's a powder keg out there.
Dean O'Dell: I noticed, but I didn't see much caution when you implicated the Pi Sigma house. You're supposed to at least pretend to be objective. I'm afraid I'm gonna need you to step down as editor of the Free Press.
Nish: Its a student paper! You cant
Dean O'Dell: I'm a devious old man, Nish. You'd be surprised what I can do. You're done there, as of this moment. (Rises to his feet.)
Nish: (Threateningly.) You'll regret this. (Slowly walks around Veronica, adds venomously.). And so will you.

---

Dean O'Dell: (Semi-sarcastically.) Pardon us. My important lunch. (Mindy smiles.) Better be a cookie in there.
Mindy: Oh, of course there isn't.
Dean ODell: (Pulls sandwich and apple out of bag.) Why do you punish me like this?
Mindy: Because I'm your wife, that's what I'm for. Remember? (Glances at nervously smiling Wallace. Whispers to her husband.) Be merciful. (Kisses him and walks out.)
Dean ODell: She probably ate the damn cookie herself. So, what do you have to say?
Wallace: I'm with her on the mercy thing.

---

Landry: The whole of human knowledge, right there online, and these papers are thin. Am I crazy to expect better? And if you're confused as to what better is, let me direct you to the front. (Points to one paper pinned to the top of the board.) Where I've posted our only example of A-caliber work. Nice job, Miss Mars. (General grumble from other students, directed at Veronica.)
Veronica Mars Voiceover: (Sarcastically.) Well, this should make me popular.

---

Keith: He's smart, huh? Is he smarter than your old man?
Veronica: (Points at her dad) You know, actually, you two have a lot in common. You'd like him.
Keith: Can I take him in a fight? Be honest.

---

Veronica: Ah. How did you get this number? I don't give it out to anyone.
Tim: You're not the only one at this school who has certain gifts.
Veronica: Gifts. That was my grandmother's term for, um, female (Whistles and outlines a curvy female form with her hands.) Just so you know.

---

Veronica: There's no way. Someone is trying to screw with me.
Tim: You think it's me? You think I'm trying to get you out of Landry's class because I don't like you?
Veronica: (With mock surprise.) Wait. You don't like me?

---

Veronica Mars Voiceover: Apparently, if you look hard enough, everyone looks like they're hiding dark secrets. So, if you're looking for something specific, you gotta try the direct approach. (Stands in front of the class and addresses the students.)
Veronica: Hi. Uh, some of you might know who I am. Veronica Mars. (No reaction from the class.) Okay. So, I wrote that paper And now someone in this class has accused me of plagiarizing it, which I absolutely did not. So, I was kind of wondering who it was. (No one volunteers.) So, is this silence, like, it wasn't any of you or, like, no one wants to face me?
Veronica Mars Voiceover: Or like no one actually did it and our weasely T. A. is trying to --
Jeff: I did it. Jeff Ratner.
Veronica: Ratner. Um, have we met before?
Jeff: We have, but you probably don't remember, so whatever.
Veronica: So, you reported me. Why did you --
Jeff: Why? Maybe 'cause I'm a common man kind of guy, and I like it when some teacher's pet who's destroying the curve for everyone, gets exposed as a cheat. Yeah, you cheated. I caught you. Deal with it. (Many students cheer.)

---

Veronica: (Opening the door to Wallace's room.) Wallace!
Wallace: (Clearly sitting on his bed.) Not here.
Veronica: And you would be?
Wallace: Evil Wallace. And I know Veronica Mars doesn't hang with the evil and morally bankrupt.
Veronica: Evil Wallace wouldn't have confessed and faced punishment. Nope. You're Regular Wallace.

---

Max: (To Veronica.) This must be a real Kafkaesque experience for you.

---

Proctor: I'm sorry. (Hands Logan his exam back.)
Logan: What about it?
Proctor: I called time and you kept writing. I can't accept your test.
Logan: Yeah, I was just finishing my --
Proctor: Time was called. I'm sorry.
Logan: So you keep saying, dude, but come on.
Proctor: (Shaking his head.) Mm-mm.
Logan: (Purposefully indignant.) Do you have any idea who I am?
Proctor: I don't and I don't care. Rules are rules, for everyone, no matter who they think (Turns around to see Logan mixing in his exam with all the others. Logan starts walking out of the classroom, turning around to offer the proctor a smug grin. He slips his pencil in his ear and leaves.)

---

Veronica: Hey, Parker. What's up?
Parker: Nothing. (Making a disgusted face.) I think I just ate something's beak.
Veronica: Hey, do you want to come bowling with us tomorrow night?
Parker: Bowling? (Skeptical.) Why?
Veronica: You know. Hatchet-burying, etcetera. Plus, Nixon found it soothing. Look, if you don't want to go because you'd rather see me fed to bears, fine. (Parker grins.)

---

Harmony: So, would you call that an accurate depiction of life as a private eye?
Keith: Pretty close. I personally have never been hired to locate a Maltese falcon, per se, but there was the case of the Maltese dog.

---

Keith: (To Harmony.) It's great talking to someone for whom Bogart isn't a verb.

---

Dean O'Dell: (Calling to Veronica from his office.) Do you follow boxing?
Veronica: (Entering the office.) I only follow sports that are done to music.

---

Veronica: (To Wallace who's studying at the library.) You're gonna ruin your eyes with all that book learnin'.

---

Veronica: Ah, my innocent and naive Wallace. When I find out who did this and I make them sing like the proverbial fat lady, that's when it's over. (Getting ready to leave Wallace to his studying.) Okay. You're Rocky, mechanical engineering is Mr. T, "Eye of the Tiger" is playing.

---

Veronica: (Holding up bowling shirt.) So, for bowling. Earnest, I'm really bowling, or (Holding up t-shirt.) I'm too cool for bowling and I'm only here ironically.
Keith: When did crappy old shirts with stupid stuff on them become cool?
Veronica: I don't know why I ask you these things.
Keith: I don't either, frankly.

---

Piz: (Rolls a gutter ball.) Damn it straight to hell.

---

Veronica: Parker, are you ok?
Parker: Oh, that guy Mercer, I just -- His cologne. I smelled it before.
Veronica: Yeah?
Parker: It's like burned into my brain. From the night I was raped. I mean I can't be sure, but (Breathes out.) Oh, I just, I just got the worst --
Veronica: Vibe? (Parker nods.) Yeah. He'll be in there for the next two hours. I'll look into it.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: Because I've still got twenty-four hours with Weevil's keys.

---

Lamb: (To himself, as he walks to his office.) You wanna know why? Because I'll stick my foot so far up your -- (Sees Veronica sitting in his office. She smiles. Calls out to staff.) Hey. Could someone let me know when some girl is in my office?

---

Veronica: This is sketchy, but --
Lamb: If it's Bigfoot, we checked. He's got an alibi.
Veronica: (Not amused.) Ohhh, rape humor. It never gets old.

---

Veronica: What are you doing?
Keith: (Smiling.) Honey, I told you it's completely innocent. We're just friends.
Veronica: You think the other person's great and you have a great time doing stuff together friends?
Keith: And there's nothing wrong with it.
Veronica: Unless your 'friend' is a very attractive unhappily married woman.
Keith: Veronica, I know a little more about this than you. Don't worry.
Veronica: I worry.

---

Tim Foyle: A person in my position might have thought he was doing you a favor. Since the professor thinks so highly of you, it might be helpful to demonstrate who he really is before you go to far under his spell.
Veronica: Do me a favor will ya? Don't do me any more favors.

---

Veronica: (Looking at Tim's bulletin board.) What's this? You have the same kind of crazy, press clipping board every movie serial killer keeps.

---

Dean O'Dell: Ahhh, Ms. Mars, join me would you?
Veronica: (Looking around uncomfortably.) Uh, sure, Dean.
Dean O'Dell: I just don't want more kids coming and giving me their ideas about how to run the school. My biggest problem as Dean. (Lowers voice to a whisper.) I don't like college students.

Hi, Infidelity (REO Speedwagon) ... (Referenced by the episode title.)

So you figure that you've got him all figured out.
He's a sweet talkin' stud,
Who can melt a girl's heart with his pout.
He's the kind of lover that the ladies dream about.
He's got plenty of cash,
He's got plenty of friends,
He drives women wild,
Then he drives off in a Mercedes Benz.
He's got a long wick with a flame at both ends.
He's hot.
But don't let him go,
Just give him a chance to grow,
Take it easy, take it slow,
And don't let him go.

You hear, Veronica? That's REO Speedwagon with their biggest selling rock LP (released 1981), Hi Infidelity, and that's the song called "Don't Let Him Go." Which they might as well be singing to you! About Logan. In fact, if there was ever a Veronica Mars - The Musical, Hi Infidelity is the perfect soundtrack. There's a song on this album for practically any situation and/or major character. It's especially true for this episode.

This is Logan, brought to you by "Keep On Loving You:"

Cause it was us baby, way before then
And we're still together
And I meant, every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever.

And here's Keith and his romantic dilemma in "Follow My Heart:"

I saw you at midnight, in a dream that I had.
From nowhere, you stood there, and you seemed so sad.
And a vicious decision is drivin' me mad.
Should I follow my head, or follow my heart?

And here's our girl Veronica to Tim Foyle, Jeff Ratner, Nish and anyone else who gets in her way, tries to threaten her, or accuses her of cheating. The song is "Tough Guys:"

She doesn't like the tough guys.
She says she's heard enough lies.
She's gonna call your bluff, guys.
And you better believe it's true.
She don't like you.

And let's sing it with Dean O'Dell. This is "Take It On the Run" and it goes out to his lovely wife:

You're thinking up your white lies,
You're putting on your bedroom eyes,
You say you're coming home, but you won't say when.

REO Speedwagon is an American rock band, whose name comes from the REO Speed Wagon truck from REO Motor Car Company (R. E. O. are the initials of Ransom Eli Olds, company owner and the founder of Oldsmobile) that came into its own in the 1970's. At the time the band recorded Hi Infidelity, it consisted of Kevin Cronin (lead vocals, rhythm guitar), Gary Richrath (lead guitar), Hall (bass guitar), Neal Doughty (keyboards), and Alan Gratzer (drums). This album had finally put the band at the top of the mainstream rock charts. Yes, the lyrics are rather obvious, and the music is akin to the band's name -- forward charging and slightly over the top -- but it's a radio-friendly record, filled with power ballads of the kind that became so popular in the 1980s.



There's a reason to believe that the show runners were attracted by the more direct implication of the title rather than the actual songs on the album. After all, the episode was all about infidelity, or cheating, academic and marital.

High Fidelity ... (Referenced by the episode title.)

A novel by Nick Hornby, which was adapted into a film by the same name (2000), starring John Cusack. The film follows the life of a record store owner, Rob Gordon (Fleming in the novel), who examines his past "Top Five Break-ups of All Time" after his girlfriend Laura ends their relationship.

He calls up his ex-girlfriends, asking them for an explanation of where things went wrong. He finds out that Girl #1 married the guy she dumped him for (in high school), so it wasn't his fault -- it was true love. Girl #2 reminds him that he had in fact dumped her for not putting out, and informs him that she was so heartbroken, that she let some random guy take her virginity, because she was convinced sex was the only way to get a guy to stay with her. So, basically he ruined her life, but Rob considers this a good thing, since it meant their break-up wasn't about her not wanting him. Girl #3 was a safety-net girlfriend; they hooked up after mutual bad break-ups, and it worked until she found a better guy. Having just been recently dumped herself, she is more interested in starting things up again with Rob than hashing out what it was that made the other guy better, so he wishes her well and lets it go. Girl #4 is Rob's nightmare, the goddess he was never good enough for, who dumped him for another guy (the break-up before Girl #3). Older and a little wiser, Rob meets up again with Charlie (Girl #4) and is surprised to find that the spell is broken -- she's admittedly gorgeous (played by Catherine Zeta Jones in the film), but he now only sees her as a vapid, pretentious, boring person, and he's glad she dumped him when she did.

At this point in the film (different from the book), Rob admits that there was no #5 Worst Break-up, that he had just put another name in there to keep Laura off the list. He fills the audience in on where things may have gone astray in their relationship:

1. He slept with someone else.
2. While she was pregnant. His affair was pretty much directly responsible for her decision to terminate the pregnancy.
3. He borrowed about $4,000 from her without paying any back.
4. He told her he might want to see other people.

Rob and Laura eventually get back together at her father's funeral (Laura: "I'm too tired to not be with you."). Things are good for a while, until Rob meets a female writer for a music magazine, and begins to take an interest in her. He realizes what he is doing, that he's going to screw things up all over again, and abruptly proposes to Laura. (Rob: "I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired everything for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so "). She laughs in his face and rejects his uber-romantic proposal. And they lived happily ever after.


In a deleted scene from the movie, a bitter soon-to-be divorce invites Rob over to her house to purchase her philandering husband's priceless record collection for $50. Rob insists on paying the proper price for the records, stating that he 'couldn't do that to another collector.' In the end, he begs her to sell him one Otis Redding album, and she agrees to sell it for ten cents. He insists on giving her at least $10, saying it's worth twenty times that amount. It looks like Piz didn't get the memo about the ethical code between record collectors, since he seemed to have no problem paying the bitter soon-to-be divorce at the garage sale 99 cents for her husband's Clash album. Kind of odd since

Baby, baby, won't you hear my plea?
C'mon, sugar, just come on back to me
She said, "Balls to you, Big Daddy."
She ain't never coming back!

There was a dinner for the new governor. The grizzled old county chairman, who had never seen the new boss, turned to the lady next to him. "Don't tell me that mug is the governor?"

"I think you're impudent and crude," she said icily. "Do you know who I am?"

The county leader shook his head.

"I am the governor's wife."

His recovery was instant. "Do you know who I am?"

"No," she said stiffly.

"Good," he replied. "My job is still safe."