Episode #03.08: Lord of the Pi's
Original Air Date: November 21, 2006
Written by: Diane Ruggerio
Directed by: Steve Gomer
Report Card (Capsule Episode Review)
Yearbook (Recurring & Guest Stars/Character Statistics)
Drama Club (Performances: Highlights and Lowlights)
Chemistry (The Analysis of LoVe Scenes)
Journalism (The Mystery of the Week)
Study Hall (Miscellaneous Plot Details)
Extra Credit (Clues to the Season Mystery Arcs)
History (Flashbacks) (None)
Band Class (The Music of Veronica Mars)
Literature (LoVe Lines/In Memory/Quotable Quotes)
Social Science (In Reference To ... Pop Culture & The World)
Homeroom (On Second Viewing, Get a Clue)
Pep Squad Practice (Ambiguously (Or Not) Gay Logan Moments) (None)
Detention (While the Censors Were Out to Lunch ...)
Philosophy (Unanswered Questions)
Principles of Democracy (Hindsight is 20/20)
Extra Curricular Activities (Beyond the Broadcast) (None)
Role Call (Written/Compiled By ...)
Staff Grade: B-
Membership Median Grade: B
An uneven script with faulty characterization (Veronica telling rape jokes? Keith unconcerned over last week's events?), this episode gives us a convoluted twist in the rape mystery, but it is, alas, as repugnant as has been most of this arc. On the plus side, there is Wallace, there is not Piz. Dick is amusing, even if he remains a disgusting human being and Veronica no longer appears to have a problem with this fact. And finally, while incredibly painful, there is also brilliant writing and acting in the other continuing arc: The relationship of Logan and Veronica as it falls apart. Surface funnies, surface cool twists -- with disturbing undercurrents derived from lax and irresponsible writing -- alongside a devastating, yet well-handled Logan/Veronica arc result in a mix of great, good and bad.
Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Julie Gonzalo - Parker Lee
Chris Lowell - Stosh "Piz" Piznarski
Tina Majorino - Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Ed Begley Jr. - Cyrus O'Dell
- Wichita Linebacker
- President Evil
- Hi, Infidelity
Chastity Dotson - Nish
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
- Wichita Linebacker
- Charlie Don't Surf
- Hi, Infidelity
Cher Ferreyra - Fern
- Welcome Wagon
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
- Wichita Linebacker
Brandon Hillock - Deputy Sacks
- Season One Appearances
- Season Two Appearances
- Welcome Wagon
- President Evil
Krista Kalmus - Claire Nordhouse
- Wichita Linebacker
- Charlie Don't Surf
- President Evil
- Hi, Infidelity
Keri Lynn Pratt - Hallie Piatt
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
David Tom - Chip Diller
- Season Two Appearances
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
- Charlie Don't Surf
Guest Stars
Carlee Avers - Bonnie Capistrano
Patty Hearst - Selma Hearst Rose
Brian Kimmet - Brant
Michael Charles Roman - Wilson Behan
Charles Shaugnessy - Budd Rose
Alan F. Smith - Roger Hearst
Who's Who in Neptune
Bonnie Capistrano - Hearst co-ed who slept with Dick, but also slept with another frat guy, lessening her value in the Pi Sig's Sex Quest '06.
Selma Hearst Rose - Hearst alumnus and member of the board of trustees. Also granddaughter of the school's founder and heir to the Hearstmart fortune. Married to Budd Rose.
Brant - Budd Rose's uppity and overprotective personal assistant.
Wilson Behan - Nish's replacement as editor of the Hearst Free Press, brings Veronica back in as a photographer.
Budd Rose - Selma Hearst Rose's husband. Was in an accident that put him in a wheelchair.
Roger Hearst - Selma Hearst Rose's brother who flew in when she went missing in order to take care of the business.
Hey! It's That Guy/Girl
Patty Hearst (Selma Hearst Rose) - Now known as Patricia Hearst Shaw, Patty is the granddaughter of newspaper and publishing magnate William Randolph Hearst. As heir to the family fortune, she became famous in 1974 when, at the age of nineteen, she was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA). The SLA, an urban guerilla group, attempted to trade Hearst for jailed SLA members, but made ransom demands when that failed. The Hearst family subsequently donated $6 million worth of food to the poor of the Bay Area, but Hearst was still not released. She was later photographed holding an assault rifle while robbing a bank in San Francisco, and communication from her, issued under the pseudonym Tania, contended that she was devoted to the goals of the SLA. She was arrested in September 1975 along with other SLA members. At her trial Hearst claimed that she had been physically and sexually abused which attributed to he mental strong-arming her into joining the group. Her defense claimed that she had been brainwashed, while some see her actions as a result of the Stockholm syndrome. Hearst also claimed that she was been forced into her part of the bank robbery. A fairly weak defense led to a conviction on March 20, 1976, and she was sentenced to seven years in prison. President Jimmy Carter commuted her term and she was released in February 1979. She was granted a full pardon in 2001 by President Bill Clinton.
Hearst later married her former bodyguard, Bernard Shaw, and lives with her husband and two daughters in Connecticut. She made her acting debut playing a small role in John Waters's film Cry-Baby. Waters has used Hearst in a number of his other films, and she has also made appearances in a handful of other films and television shows.
Although she was not playing herself in Lord of the Pi's, Hearst's real life was alluded to in a number of ways beyond the Hearst name. Most amusingly is the name "Selma," which likely comes from Marge Simpson's sisters, Patty and Selma, on The Simpsons. The most obvious similarity, of course, is that like Hearst, Selma Hearst Rose was an heiress to a fortune and had been the center of a national scandal in the past (a similarity that was not-so-subtlely referenced when Selma asks Keith if he knows what that's like). The other obvious similarity was that both the actress and the character had been kidnapped (though, of course, Selma's "kidnapping" turned out not to be real). There is also a very subtle reference in the name of Selma's husband, Budd Rose: "Rosebud" was the key phrase in the film Citizen Kane, which was based on Hearst's grandfather, William Randolph Hearst.
Charles Shaughnessy (Budd Rose) - Charles Shaughnessy has appeared in a number of television series and made-for-tv movies, as well as in a long-term role as popular superspy, Shane Donovan on the NBC soap opera, Days of Our Lives. However, he is best known for his starring role on The Nanny, which ran on CBS from 1993 through 1999. For six seasons Shaughnessy played Maxwell Sheffield, a wealthy British widower and Broadway producer who hires Fran Fine (played by series creator/star Fran Drescher), a cosmetics saleswoman, to be the nanny to his three children. By the end of the series Sheffield and Nanny Fine were married and had two children, twins, of their own.
In The King and I, Anna sings:
Highlights
Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls) - In a layered, commanding performance Dohring showed us once again why he is one of the finest actors on television today. The chemistry analysis takes you step by step through Logan's emotions and feelings and he sells each one of these points with his usual perfection. But ultimately this episode comes down to one scene, one face that shatters your heart and breaks it into a million tiny pieces. Without saying a word, you are left breathless and gasping with pain. Standing ovation ... once I pick my sobbing, broken body up off of the floor.
Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) - Bell brings her A game this week as well, and is a worthy acting partner to Dohring. Showing layers and subtext that enhance and help explain an unlikeable performance, Kristen shines when she gives viewers a glimpse of Veronica's vulnerability. Although, the non LoVe scenes were baffling to some, the blame can be attributed to the script with Bell doing her darndest to try and make it work. Perhaps the mania and hyperactivity were a bit over the top, but because she was so on during the LoVe scenes, I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt -- the only way she felt Veronica made sense throughout the highs and lows and flip-flops of the episode was to play her on overdrive.
Lowlights
Patty Hearst (Selma Hearst Rose) - Ah sweeps week bringing with it the possibility of character death, outrageous plots and the oh so popular stunt casting. In a role seemingly tailor-made for her, Patty Hearst assumes the stunt casting of the week role and portrays a missing heiress. Unfortunately, publicity value aside, Hearst delivers a bland, boring performance that left viewers yawning. In an already convoluted mystery of the week, Hearst added little to the suspense and instead had most people saying "Hey isn't that the guy from The Nanny as her husband?"
From a cerebral point of view, I very much enjoyed all of the Logan/Veronica scenes for one simple reason. They made sense; I understood exactly why Logan did everything that he did -- as heavy-handed as his actions were, just as I understood exactly where Veronica was coming from -- as seemingly cruel as her actions were. Honestly, I'm in a very good place right now (character-motivation-wise) with both Logan and Veronica. Again, from a non-emotional point of view ... the arc of this episode? I liked. This may come as a surprise and cause quite a few reactions of "yeah, right!", but really, I'm not horribly biased against Veronica and towards Logan like it, no doubt, seems pretty much all of the time. I just need to understand the motivation for stupid things they do. If they do stupid stuff, I can deal, but I need to buy and understand their motivation. And unfortunately, more often than not from season two on, I've been able to buy the motivation behind Logan's actions due to the layers and subtext that Jason Dohring continually adds, which was missing, in my opinion, from a lot of Kristen Bell's performances last season and in a few episodes this season. However, I saw layers, I read subtext and I was happy with the execution of what we got ... if not the results.
Now do I like this arc? No. Do I wish Rob Thomas would take his head out of his ass and write a heroine who is tough, unethical, snotty, sarcastic and yet still likeable as he did in season one? Of course. Do I like that Veronica, no doubt, broke Logan's heart into a million little pieces in that last scene? No. But the fact of the matter is that Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell spent last season giving us a Veronica who -- for the most part -- didn't appear to even care about Logan. Now, by showing hints of that mixed in with genuine -- albeit, confused -- love on her part, paired with the possibility of this actually leading somewhere, it may be the only way that Thomas can come up with to make her season two attitude towards Logan work. I don't know if that is truly possible, but if this all plays out with logical, character motivation intact, then it does give the Veronica/Logan arc of season one to season two to what we're seeing this season a semblance of making sense. And that will make me very, very happy.
On with the analysis....
Scene One: The Girl Who Avoids ... The Boy Who Confronts
In a line that was almost lost in the intensity of the rest of this scene, Veronica sadly proved my analysis from last week when placed in conjunction with her interaction with Keith. I wrote:
Yes, he rescued her -- but it's not enough. She's still upset with him and very well may have been avoiding his phone calls deliberately. Do I think she was? Yes, I do. Not just because of the last scene, but because she was clearly still upset here -- it was there to read in her body language, facial expression and tone of voice -- and when Veronica is upset and not ready to deal with any given situation, she avoids. That's Veronica. And it is something about her that Logan is well-aware of and seemingly accepts for the most part. So, I felt for where Veronica was coming from. She is still upset, but she doesn't want to fight with him, she's trying to get her bearings and he's not giving her the space she needs. Is she right to not tell him how she's really feeling? No, absolutely not and I have no doubt it will come back and bite her in the ass. However, I understand WHY she's playing the avoidance game. Character motivation I can understand -- if not like -- is a very, very good thing in my book.
As for Logan ... well, his laying down the law edict was out of line and out of place. First of all, it doesn't matter how much he loves her or how scared he is, he had no right to order her to do anything. It shows an unwarranted lack of respect for her. It is her life and she has the right to live it with as much stupidity and risk as she wants. He could have spoken to Keith or Wallace or Mac or all three and have each approach her, together or separately. He could have tried talking to her softly, sincerely, explaining his concerns, offered to bodyguard her himself, but to take that tone with her ... I completely understood and identified with her "okay, now you're pissing me off." He had no right; none whatsoever.
However, that didn't stop me from agreeing with every word he said to her ... because someone had to! And it didn't stop my very 80's "buuuurn" when Logan -- his voice filled with restrained anger -- told Keith that maybe he should start yelling at Veronica. Why? Because he was right; again ... someone has to. Someone needs to keep Veronica in line. The girl has almost been killed twice and was just attacked. Keith is her father -- the one person whom she generally respects and admires -- and he may be the only person who can get her to take a step back and realize she needs to take better care of herself. Logan simply cannot be that person because there is still a wall around her heart where he is concerned. Keith is the only person that Veronica has allowed herself to love completely since Lilly's death; thus he is the only one who might be able to get past that wall. So bad call on how Logan played that. Very bad call. Yet, it's a call I understand him making ... just as I understand why Veronica was not very happy with him. Motivation that makes sense? Yay.
Scene Two: Does She Love Him? ... Yeah.
Veronica had every right to tear into Logan. EVERY RIGHT. If he wanted to hire her a bodyguard, that's groovy, but he needed to tell her! By not telling her, it became about more than just his fear for her safety and desire to protect her ... it was a power play. She told him to piss off, so fine, he pissed off and in response, played his move and it wasn't fair and it wasn't right and it is NOT how you conduct a relationship. The problem, however, is that Veronica has driven him to this point. Instead of talking to him when there is a problem, she avoids him. Instead of dealing head-on with the issues of trust at the heart of their relationship, she's chooses not to deal at all and that doesn't work with Logan like it did with Duncan (and Troy ... and Leo) because Logan does not resemble an ostrich in any way, shape or form. He does not ignore, avoid, or pretend everything is surface wonderful. That is not how he operates and she knows this, but continually refuses to adjust her relationship pattern to acknowledge it. And that is NOT how you conduct a relationship.
Two key points of a healthy relationship are communication and compromise -- both Logan and Veronica show a lack of success in the former, but Logan has been busting his ass on the latter and Veronica? Well, Veronica has been busting his ass despite his attempts and other than choosing to not track his car, has not even tried. This would be another sign that one has difficulty in conducting a relationship.
So then ... here comes the million dollar question: Do they love each other? Absolutely. However, they do not trust each other ... AT ALL. The only difference in their trust issues is that whereas Logan wants to trust Veronica, most of the time it appears as if Veronica doesn't even seem to think that she needs to. And she does. But she doesn't. And that brings us to Logan's question. I have read in so many places from so many different people that Veronica's answer and how she answered made it clear that, no, she does not love him. I have to say that this is one time where I am extremely thrilled to disagree with the majority. My read on that "yeah" was that she does, absolutely, love him. And it scares her senseless.
When Logan asked her, I think she paused because (a) it was the first time the question had been posed to her, period, not just about Logan, but about anyone since Lilly died and (b) I believe it was the first time she had ever even thought of whether she loved him or not. Also, based on her expression, I got the vibe that when Logan told her he loved her, it was the first time that he had done so since the summer before in the infamous X-Terra (sniff) shoot-out. So he opened a door that, I believe, had been closed for quite some time and then on top of that, he pulled her through it. And that is why I think we got the pause. She was thinking about it, not because she doesn't ... but because of their history, because of that wall and because she was asking herself the question for the first time. And her answer? "Yeah." Said with tears shimmering in her eyes, and a tinge of shock because I think she was more surprised by her answer than Logan was (and check out his reaction, he was a little surprised too). I think she's told herself without actually doing so that Logan is her "right now" boyfriend. What she shares with him is so different, so intense from the one relationship in which she believed she loved the guy -- with Logan, it's not easy, it's complicated and messy and passionate and it is work. So in that pause, she wasn't just asking his question of herself, she was doing a split-second reassessment of love itself .. and in that pause Logan was not found wanting.
However, while I completely believed that "yeah," as well as her agreement that they should be nicer to one another, her positive response to his "are we okay?" was a bald-faced lie. That was the avoidance girl we all know and love. She's still mad at him. Veronica is still upset about the alibi, about him keeping it from her ... but she probably feels that she can't call him on that anymore because, oh, yeah, he saved her life. So she still has simmering resentment that can't be appeased from that, in addition, he was yelling at her and ordering her around earlier AND let's not forget the reason she was there ripping him a new one to begin with: He went behind her back and hired a bodyguard without telling her. So, of course, it's not okay between them. She's still pissed off and justifiably so. Just because she realized she loves him, doesn't make everything all of a sudden sunshine and rosebuds.
And I believe that Kristen Bell played all of this beautifully. Upon first viewing, I thought Bell sold this scene, while Jason Dohring undersold it, however a second viewing offered a different point of view -- not regarding Bell, she absolutely shined here, but in how Dohring chose to play the scene. Going back to my write-up in President Evil:
Right now, however, Veronica Mars is not wired that way.
Scene Three: Ouch!
To be fair to both Logan and Veronica -- who I feel both deserve equality for their actions tonight, I'm going to address this scene from two different points of view: The emotional and cerebral. From a cerebral point of view, this scene made perfect sense. I completely understood exactly why Veronica did not answer that phone. On the other hand, I just as completely understood exactly why Logan thought the absolute worst when she didn't. Going back to the previous scene, as I stated above, I fully believe that Veronica was lying when she agreed that they were okay. She said "yeah," because she didn't want to fight anymore; she wasn't ready to just let go of her resentment and anger. Simply put, she needed more time. And that is why she didn't answer the phone. It wasn't because she doesn't love Logan, didn't mean that "yeah," but because she wasn't ready to be "okay" yet. Of course, Logan won't see that.
He can't see it ... because he doesn't trust her. He believed her (or, at least, he wanted to believe her) when she said she loved him and so he believed (wanted to believe) her when she agreed that they were okay. He doesn't realize that they were two separate things. She DOES love him. They are, however, NOT okay because she's still pissed that he was so heavy-handed and wants her to "change." So she needs space, she needs time to cool off. She can't just blow it off because she realizes she loves him; she's not wired that way. And frankly, she hasn't had to be, because, until now, that hasn't been a problem for her. The fact that she has this wall around her heart has not been an impediment in getting guys falling all over her and Logan has been the worst offender. Because he doesn't trust in Veronica's love, he's always trying to make things work with them because he believes that if he doesn't, the relationship will die.
Veronica, on the other hand, knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Logan loves her, she knows that whatever crap she pulls, he's gonna be there. Therefore, she feels that she doesn't have to fight for it. She knows that she is in the position of power -- not that I think she even realizes this consciously, but there it is -- and in a healthy relationship, no partner should have more power than the other. So Veronica doesn't have to change, he does; she doesn't have to try to make it work because Logan loves her so much, he'll accept her, flaws and all. No, it's not a good way to have a relationship, but Logan has certainly put himself in that position. Now here they are ... Veronica feeling herself secure enough in the relationship that she can avoid him until she's ready and Logan feeling so insecure that when he sees her avoiding him, he can only see that she doesn't love him after all.
Before I continue, I want to touch upon the acting because it's a reverse of the previous scene. I believe that Dohring played his few seconds here with utter magnificence, while upon first viewing, I thought Bell undersold her moments. However, like the above scene, a second viewing changed my opinion -- not regarding Dohring, he hit it, but in how Bell chose to play the scene. There was enough tension in her frame, pause in her reaction and an almost-stiffness to her movement to suggest that Veronica was struggling, but she just needed time. So I give a hearty bravo to both for their performances throughout the Logan/Veronica arc in this episode.
Okay, that was my cerebral take -- I see Logan's point of view, just as I see Veronica's point of view, but emotionally? I was a mess. I cannot watch, cannot think about that final scene without my heart breaking. Even understanding that Veronica does love Logan; even getting that Logan was taking her action in the worst possible way ... it was still the most painful moment in the history of LoVe. The look on his face, the way he closed the phone, held it to his lips, the devastation in his eyes and then the camera pulling away, it was just absolutely painful and because, yet again, Veronica was the one doing the devastating, it was much easier for many to turn against her.
I'm hoping that something happens in the following episode to even it out because -- from an emotional point of view -- I'm still upset with her because of last week and that does carry over. And yet, this week, if anyone is more to blame for acting like an idiot, it's totally Logan. He was extremely high-handed and disrespectful of her feelings. However, and this is where the character motivation comes in, I get why he was that way, and so I'm less inclined to be pissed at him because I'm still pissed about the crap Veronica pulled last week ... wherein, I could not understand so much of what she did. Even being able to do so this week, it still felt like my heart was breaking right alongside Logan's as he watched her ignore him.
{{Sigh}} and so once again, we end an episode with the oft-repeated refrain ... poor Logan!
Veronica's back in The Hearst Free Press offices meeting with the newly appointed editor in chief replacing the recently fired Miss "I have an agenda and so does my paper" Nish. It seems that The Ed (can I call you The Ed? I can? Great!) came across Veronica's file on Nish's desk and wants to utilize her talent, baggage with Nish be damned. Wasting no time at all, The Ed asks her if she's free that night. Veronica makes that face like she thinks he's asking her out (And, seriously? Get over yourself Veronica) but then tentatively asks if he's wondering if she's free to take photos. With the perfect edge of dry sarcasm he confirms that yeah, that is what he wanted to know because that's what she's there for -- right?
The Ed asks Veronica if she knows about the upcoming election -- which she does. It seems that the Hearst Board of Trustees is preparing to vote on a resolution to remove the Greek system from Hearst which I guess they think will end the rape crisis. (To quote Cher Horowitz, "As if!") The University is throwing a little soiree that evening and the paper would like Veronica to get them some art. The Ed will award bonus points for a photo of the Dean in a lampshade (or dogs at a poker table), but mainly he's interested in shots of Hearst's newest Board member and most illustrious alumni, Selma Hearst-Rose. Yes, that "Hearst" No, no, no -- not Patty Hearst. Well, okay, yes, Patty Hearst is on this show but who I'm really referring to is Selma Rose's grandpappy, the founder of Hearst University. That Hearst. Turns out Ms. Hearst-Rose is heir to the Hearstmart fortune and the swing vote on the very important resolution.
Veronica and The Ed reminisce about Selma's early years and her grand act of noblesse oblige wherein she dumped her entire trust fund out of an airplane over "the ghetto." Okay, so riots ensued and she was arrested and served time in county jail, but hey, her heart was in the right place. Their reminiscing is interrupted by two classy gents wanting to cash in their camera phone photos of Chip Diller sprawled across the campus lawn in his unmentionables.
That night, Veronica (looking smashing in red, I might add) plays photojournalist to the hoity toity crowd at the Board of Trustees cocktail party. She finds the Dean chatting it up with Selma Rose (Patty Hearst in an underwhelming performance -- seriously casting folks, can we stop with the crappy stunt casting?) and asks to snap a quick (money) shot before the boring speeches begin.
Moments later the Dean takes the podium and welcomes everyone to the gathering and expresses his delight that Selma is joining their illustrious Board of Trustees. He gives a quick rundown of her stats and standing and we learn that since taking over the Hearstmart Empire two years ago she's managed to make the company a leader in corporate responsibility, which dovetails nicely with her early random acts of kindness. The Dean announces Selma and welcomes her to the podium to say a few words, but Selma fails to appear. The Dean quips, stalling for time, while the audience claps half-heartedly, but it becomes clear very quickly that Selma has gone missing.
Side note: You know, you'd think that anyone even thinking of living in or near the city limits of Neptune would install a lo-jack on their person considering how often people in this town go missing.
Lamb shows up a short time later to investigate the disappearance, but seems puzzled that the Dean suspects foul play. As the Dean points out, having a woman disappear in the middle of a highly publicized event for which she is the guest of honor does seem a bit weird. Lamb's not convinced because rich chicks, at least by his definition, are unreliable. (Much like rape victims, eh Sheriff Smartass?) The Dean quips that it should have occurred to him that Selma left because she remembered an appointment for a tennis lesson in the middle of the party. He wonders if perhaps he might speak to someone else that might, you know, take the disappearance seriously. (In this town Dean, chances of finding someone like that in the Sheriff's office could accurately be described as "slim to none.") Lamb is dismissive and tells the Dean he's sure they'll find Selma crying into a mojito in the club over a lost earring. The Dean, understandably, decides to get off Lamb's crazy train and seeks Veronica out in an effort to get some real help.
Veronica brings the Dean home to meet with Keith about Selma's disappearance. After filling Keith in on the details, the Dean tells Keith that both he and Selma's husband are terrified for her safety. Having known Selma for twenty years, the Dean knows her well enough to know that she'd never leave a microphone and a captive audience without being dragged. As he's correctly ascertained that the Sheriff is an idiot -- remarking that he's met smarter sandwiches, which, hee! -- he needs Keith on the case because he's convinced she's been kidnapped. The University has suffered rapes, riots (um, when did I blink and miss that?), and now abductions -- and the Dean needs Keith's help to solve at least one of the campus crises. Not to help, I don't know, FIND THE RAPIST or anything, just to find Selma.
As Keith escorts the Dean out of the Mars apartment, he assures him that he'll begin with online investigations tonight and start field work on Selmas disappearance first thing in the morning. The Dean, almost as an afterthought, mentions that he does have one other possible clue that might help the investigation -- apparently another other Board members saw Selma speaking with a waitress right as the Dean began his introduction, moments before her disappearance. Keith assures him that they'll look into it and bids the Dean good night. As Keith closes the door, he turns to his partner in crime-fighting and suggests a plan of action. The next morning, he'll go speak with the family and see what details he can unearth while Veronica talks to the caterer and tracks down the waitress.
As planned, Veronica heads over to speak with a woman who I assume is the head of catering at the University and asks for a list of the wait staff working the previous evening so that she can determine which one of the waitresses spoke to Selma just before she went missing. Veronica learns that the list is going to be shorter than she could have hoped for because there was only one waitress working the night before.
We cut to Veronica lingering out in the campus hallway, snagging Feminist Clich #1 (a.k.a. Fran) as she leaves class. Fran is unsurprisingly unthrilled to see "Buffy, Tiffany, whatever your name is" and wants to know what the hell she wants. It seems that Fran was the mystery waitress who spoke with Selma the night before -- Veronica snarkily guesses that perhaps Selma was considering a nose ring and was looking for a little female insight. Fran informs Veronica that she was simply telling Selma that she had a phone call. She doesn't know who was calling, only that it was a woman, and the only reason she answered it in the first place was because the line in the kitchen was ringing off the hook and driving her crazy.
Veronica points out that it's a little funny (and not "ha-ha" funny) that a driving force in getting the Greeks kicked off campus -- Fran -- is the last person to interact with the swing vote on that very important resolution -- Selma. Fran points out that it is equally funny that the girl who exonerated the Pi Sigs -- Veronica -- is the one leading the charge to find the missing swing vote. Veronica corrects Fran: She wasn't trying to save the Pi Sigs, she was just looking for the truth.
Unfortunately for Veronica, the truth about the Pi Sigs in Fran's mind is simple -- those classless asses just kicked off Sex Quest '06 (the charming points-for-sex game that everyone will remember from the season two episode The Rapes of Graff) which makes them pigs undeserving of mercy -- even inadvertent mercy. Well, at least that's what I suspect Fran thinks. She cautions Veronica to watch what she drinks for the next few weeks. Unfortunately Fran, Veronica's been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. Twice.
Meanwhile, Keith heads over to the Rose estate to have a little chat with Selma's hubby, Budd. He's greeted in the foyer by a guy so fastidious and prissy he makes Niles Crane look like Earl Hickey. Mr. Priss, or Brant as he's known by his manicurist, explains that Mr. Rose is resting and can't see Keith right now. Keith counters that Mr. Rose is expecting him and that since he's investigating Mrs. Rose's disappearance, he's sure Mr. Rose will want to see him. Brant agrees that Mr. Rose wants to help, but reiterates that he can't right now because he's resting. I'm sure you can guess Keith's response. They go back and forth like that for a few minutes until Budd Rose yells at Brant from somewhere off-screen to stop harassing their guest and show him in.
Brant stiffly escorts Keith into Mr. Rose's office. Budd Rose is a distinguished looking gent that bears a striking resemblance to The Nannys employer (or that guy Shane on Days of Our Lives) who appears to be confined to a wheel-chair. Budd apologizes for Brant's behavior -- apparently he's rather overprotective of Budd when it comes to, well, just about everything. Budd expresses his distress over his wife's disappearance and wonders if Keith, like the Dean, believes she's been kidnapped. As there has been no ransom demand, Keith cautions that for now it is simply a missing persons case and that they shouldn't jump to conclusions.
Keith tries to get some background info on Selma and asks Budd if she was having any business problems that he was aware of. Budd shares that Selma's been having nothing but business problems since she took control of the company two years before. Apparently getting her company to become a leader in corporate responsibility was an uphill battle and one she had to fight with her Board of Directors every day. Unfortunately, Budd doesn't know too much else about the company these days. Budd shares with Keith that Selma's brother Roger will be handling the company in Selma's absence. And as it turns out, Roger will be arriving in Neptune later that afternoon.
Keith suspects that it would be helpful to talk to Roger about both his sister and the company and Budd assures Keith that he'll have Brant get him the contact information for Roger's "advance team" -- his assistant. Brant escorts Keith out of the house and tells Keith in the most insincere manner possible that he can contact him if he needs anything else. Keith spots two yappy frou-frou dogs behind glass doors in another building on the property at almost the same time he notices a BMW in the driveway. It seems that the Beamer belongs to the grossly overpaid dog walker, who, judging by the sticker on the windshield, is also student at Hearst University. Keith asks Brant for the lucky gal's contact information.
Flash over to the Neptune Sheriff's office where Deputy Sachs informs Lamb (with wiggly eyebrows) that the super hot reporter Martina Vasquez is holding on the line for him, just waiting with baited breath to ask him a few questions about Selma Rose's disappearance. Lamb quickly pulls up her web page for a quick refresher before picking up the phone. He proceeds to schmooze the lovely reporter by complimenting her on her most recent story (which he so TOTALLY did not watch) and tells her that he's happy to help in any way possible. (Except for, you know, doing his job and finding the missing person. Or catching the Hearst rapist.)
We flash to Ms. Vasquez on the other end of the phone basking in Lambs compliments, only Ms. Vasquez looks remarkably like one Veronica Mars and her office at Channel 9 closely resembles Veronica's bedroom. Proving she gives good phone with any accent, Veronica continues simper to Lamb for a minute before asking him about the rumor that Selma received a phone call right before her disappearance. She wonders if they have learned who the call was from yet. Lamb tells her that the tip turned out to be bogus because there was no record of an incoming call that night.
Before Lamb can elaborate on his offer to keep her "in the loop" on this sort of stuff, Veronica's cover is blown when Keith picks up the kitchen extension. Veronica quietly tells her dad that she's on the phone. As he hangs up the kitchen phone, Keith hollers to Veronica and asks her to let him know when shes off the line. Without missing a beat, Veronica slips right back into her faux accent and asks Lamb about his offer to keep her "in the loop" but Lamb hangs up the phone like the handset is on fire. The look of puzzled aggravation he casts on the offending desk phone is priceless! Having gotten the information she needed out of the ever-gullible Lamb, Veronica, as promised, hollers to her dad that she's done with the phone.
In light of this new information, Veronica tracks down her buddy Fran to confront her about the seemingly bogus phone call the night of Selma's disappearance. When Veronica confronts her with the revelation that there was no incoming call logged, Fran counters with a fairly obvious alternative: perhaps there's no log of an outside call because the call didn't come from outside. Perhaps it was placed from another extension within the university. The look of "d'oh!" on Veronicas face clearly indicates that she hadn't considered that possibility.
Keith finally manages to meet up with Selma's underwhelmingly concerned brother Roger who is convinced that Selma's disappearance is nothing more than her "flaking out." He suspects that she's at a spa somewhere outside of Santa Fe, wrapped in algae with a couple of cucumber slices over her eyes. I suspect that Roger has the intelligence and emotional maturity of, well, Lamb. I was gonna say a Turkey Reuben, but I think the world of sandwiches has been insulted quite enough lately. Keith, like the Dean, points out that leaving right in the middle of a reception seems like a rather odd thing to do. In Selma's case, Roger disagrees.
In his mind, it makes perfect sense because Selma would have been splitting right before she needed to make a decision. Keith comments that indecisiveness seems like a strange trait for the head of a Fortune 500 company. But Roger corrects Keith -- Selma's not a corporate maven, she's a "humanitarian" (a very dirty word in corporate America) which Roger explains has a very narrow profit margin. He goes on to explain that Hearstmarket stock has been steadily rising since Selma's disappearance solely on the assumption that without her at the helm, the company will continue to buy products from Asia rather than from within the U.S., which was apparently Selma's vision for the future. A vision that would cost both the company and the stock-holders a fortune.
Roger continues that if it wasn't business related, Selma may have also run off because of problems with her husband. It seems things weren't quite as rosy in the Rose household as Budd let Keith believe. According to Roger, Selma had already consulted with an attorney about a divorce. It seems that since the accident (presumably the one that left Budd in a wheel chair) Budd's been overly clingy. Roger thinks it is safe to say that Selma's got way more affection for her dogs than her husband at this point. In fact, Roger wouldn't be surprised to learn that Selma left everything to little Ernest and Julio in her will.
The following morning in the Mars family kitchen, Keith tells a bleary Veronica that he ran the plates on Selma's grossly-overpaid dog walker. Veronica assumes that Keith's hoping she'll check the gal out, size her up and then shake her down. Keith smiles and says that he'd love it, if she wouldn't mind. Lucky for him Veronica can do that in her sleep -- or in the sleep-like state that follows what sounds like a near-sleepless night and a too early morning with only one large cup of coffee. Particularly once she realizes that the name and address Keith has written down is that of one slightly dim Zeta Theta, Ms. Hallie Piatt.
Veronica doesn't bother to track Hallie down at home. Instead, she knows to find this elusive creature her in her natural habitat -- sunning in her bikini on the lawn of the south quad. After getting Hallie's attention by blocking her sun, Veronica drops to the ground for a little girl-gabbing with her old Zeta Theta buddy. Before Hallie can speak, Veronica starts rambling (while doing her best sorority girl impression) about how Hallie must be so totally worried about her missing boss. Even though Mrs. Rose had the power to get Hallie and her sisters kicked off campus, Veronica is sure that she must be like a basket case and a half!
Hallie regains her composure and says that yeah, she's Selma Rose's dog-walker. And so what? Veronica starts in with her judgmental preconceived notions about Hallie and says that Hallie having a job at all is the first shocker. That she has a job that requires her to wear a plastic bag on her hand while waiting for Fido to "kick out a lodger" (Klassy, Veronica) makes Veronica positively dizzy! Hallie correctly tells Veronica that she doesn't know the first thing about her, but clearly Veronica has decided otherwise. In her mind, she's got little Hallie all figured out. And in Veronica's mind Hallie's a Theta Beta that would do anything to protect her sisters and her house.
Hallie finds it almost laughable that Veronica thinks she had something to do with Selma Rose's disappearance. In fact, she suggests that if there's anyone Veronica ought to be investigating, it's Budd's assistant Brant. According to Hallie, he's like "swimfan" level obsessed/in love with Budd. Which, in retrospect, makes perfect sense. Hallie recounts seeing Brant lovingly stroke Mr. Rose's hair while he was sleeping, and the tantrum he threw just a short time before when Budd asked him to help plan an anniversary party for Mrs. Rose. Like a teacup throwing tantrum. Hallie comments on the pathetic-ness of poor Brant who is delusional enough to have hope that after ten years of marriage Budd might ditch his wife and start batting for the other team.
Veronica returns to the M.I. offices and reports to her dad that she's just dripping with information. Keith reveals that he too has some juicy details to share. The two engage in a hilarious little routine wherein Keith reveals Roger's plan to thwart Selma's "Buy American" initiative which will save the company hundreds of thousands of dollars. Veronica shares Hallie's information on Brant's obsession with his employer. Keith counters that Brant's not too fond of Hallie either. When Veronica mentions Brant's tantrum over the tenth anniversary party, Keith has a lightbulb moment. And he's clearly disappointed in his progeny because what do they call the tenth anniversary in the P.I. biz? Ah yes, the "Dine and Ditch."
Veronica does look a bit chagrined that she didn't consider the tenth anniversary angle, but is confused when she thinks about it because Mrs. Rose is the one with all the loot. Keith tells her about Roger's speculation about the impending divorce so Veronica wonders if Budd had Selma whacked. Although he concedes that whacking is one extreme possibility, Keith has another idea -- a hunch he'd like to play out if his daughter is game. Since it seems that the Selma's two little dogs are the children she never had, if Budd's trying to keep her hidden, wouldn't having her dogs to keep her company help keep her quiet?
To test his hunch, Veronica and Keith pay a late-night (and not entirely legal) visit to the Rose estate. Veronica scales the wall in true Bionic Woman fashion and opens the gate to allow daddy dearest in. The two follow the yipping of Selma's little doggie children to the guest cottage on the property. Keith does a quick lock-pick job and the two slip inside. The dogs seem happy for the company, but the sound of the television playing in the background suggests that they are not alone. Keith and Veronica step out of the foyer and into the living room where Selma Rose sits, cool as a cucumber in her bathrobe and slippers watching TV. Keith asks her if she's okay. Selma confirms that she'd be better if they'd shut the door and not try to rescue her.
Keith introduces himself and explains that he was hired by the Dean to track her down as everyone feared that she'd been kidnapped. Selma seems touched by the Dean's concern and tells Keith to let her old buddy Cyrus know that she's just fine. Which, of course, Keith is willing to do, but he'd also kind of like to know how she wound up missing in her own guest house. He's concerned that she might be in trouble. Selma says that she isn't, but she will be if Keith tells anyone he saw her so she'd appreciate it if he didn't. In fact, shes willing to show her appreciation monetarily if necessary. Keith assures her that it isn't because he's already being paid by someone who is very worried about her safety.
Selma says that she'll tell him her sordid little tale in hopes that Keith will decide to figure out a way to let Cyrus know she's okay without giving her away. Keith's willing to try but hey -- people think she's been kidnapped so he's not making any promises. Selma assures Keith that there's no kidnapping here, merely good old-fashioned blackmail. It seems that Budd has discovered that Selma's got a lover and demanded that she "disappear" until after their tenth anniversary. It seems that Keith was on target with his "Dine and Ditch" theory after all. But Veronica wonders if that's all that Budd's after, why not just blackmail her into waiting to sign the divorce decree instead of making her disappear?
Keith's got it all figured out. See, with Selma out of the public eye and off the world's radar screen, Roger is free to run the company in her absence. During which time he'll quash her "Buy American" plan which will ensure that Hearstmart stock goes through the roof. By the time Selma's back in the game, the company will be locked in to the contracts Roger negotiated with companies in Southeast Asia. Which means that Budd will be entitled to millions more than he'd be getting right now. I second Veronica's "bastard." True DAT.
Selma tells Keith that Veronica's right about her husband. Once upon a time they had a great marriage, but after the accident things went south. Budd decided he had something to prove and his way of proving it involved nailing anything female that walked. Keith is sympathetic to her situation but assures her that she could find a lawyer that could help her deal with this situation and get her out of it much less expensively. Selma pauses before asking Keith if he knows what it's like to be a punch line on a national level (and, um, yeah he does -- don't you read People magazine?). She's been one and she's spent her whole life trying to gain back a measure of respectability. Handing over a stack of photographs, Selma reveals that this would put her back at square one.
Keith and Veronica take a look at the photographs of Selma in a clinch with her lover. Her attractive, college-aged, young lover who just happens to be a chick. And one we know at that! If these pictures are anything to go by, it seems Hallie's been putting in a little overtime. It was she who called Selma the night of the party to break the news that she didnt really care about her and that their entire relationship was a lie. In fact, Hallie had seduced her for Budd and the two of them were planning to run away together and live off of Selma's fortune. (What do you know? For once, Veronica leapt to a conclusion -- that Hallie was somehow involved in Selmas disappearance -- and she was actually right! Maybe someone ought to go check and make sure hell isn't freezing over. You know, just in case.)
Keith suggests to Selma that he might have a way to help her with her little problem. He needs to know if Selma was wearing the earrings she's got on now at the cocktail party the other night (she was) and whether or not she's got access to Budd's email account. Judging by the look of hopeful satisfaction on Selma's face, I'm guessing that answer's a resounding yes.
The next day Veronica tells Wallace that they've found the perfect "witness" to Selma's "kidnapping." Minutes later, Sachs tells Lamb that a guy has come in to file a report because he saw Selma Rose the night she went missing. This guy saw Selma having a fight with a girl from the college so he's got him going through a Hearst University yearbook. The "witness" (a.k.a. Morty the homeless guy from the Pi Sig dumpster) hollers out that he's found the mystery girl.
Shortly thereafter we see Lamb pulling a clueless Hallie over on the side of the road. She puts on her best innocent act and says that if she was speeding, she totally didn't know. Lamb assures her she was driving just fine, but he's gonna need her to step out of her car anyway. He flashes her the search warrant obtained for her vehicle.
Next, Lamb makes a stop at the Rose estate and flashes yet another warrant at the ever-attentive Brant. When Budd rolls out into the foyer to find out who is at the door and sees the Sheriff, he asks if they've found his wife. Lamb's sorry to say that they didn't -- but they did find one of her earrings in his girlfriends car. They also found love letters from Budd to Hallie on her laptop. Lamb says that he gets why Budd likes her so much because she's a sweet girl. Apparently not too tough though -- when interrogated, Hallie sang like the proverbial canary and suggested that they take a look in the guest house.
When we next see Budd, Lamb's got him in interrogation down at the station. Lamb comments that with Budd having both a hot young girlfriend and an older rich wife, he's kind of shocked that he's not investigating a murder. (Which, HEE!) Budd's all smug and pompous says that Lamb can talk all he wants but he's not saying a word until his lawyer gets there. At that moment Sachs sticks his head in the door and informs Lamb that Mrs. Rose would like a minute with her husband. Since he's just spinning his wheels waiting for Budd's attorney to show up, Lamb tells Sachs to show her in.
Selma wonders if Roger was in on Budd's plan or if he was simply counting on him to do the wrong thing. Budd comments that Roger is fairly predictable that way, leading us to believe that he was simply trusting Roger to be a greedy bastard with no concern for his sister's well being. Sadly, he seems to have nailed that one. Selma tosses a divorce agreement on the table as an "early anniversary present" -- unless of course Budd had his heart set on going to jail. Ooh, snap!
Veronica has one last confrontation with Hallie for the road when Hallie decides (for whatever reason) that she needs Veronica to know that she's not just some gold digger and that she really loved Budd. Veronica's incredulity knows no bounds because she has to assume that it was all of Budd's money that Hallie really loved. Hallie counters that Budd is more man that Veronica could ever handle, but Veronica doesn't care if the schmuck Ron Jeremy on wheels. As she points out to Hallie, the creep is an adulterer and old enough to be her father -- not to mention a manipulative blackmailer on a grand scale. But hey, Selma got her divorce and Budd got stuck with a measly settlement so I suppose that helps to balance the scales of marital justice.
- Chip Diller appears to be a briefs over boxers guy.
- The plastic easter egg used to assault Chip was bright pink -- yet another subtle nod to feminism?
- Hallie's last name is Piatt and she resides at 8684 Elm Street in Neptune (in the prestigious 90909 zipcode, no less).
- Hallie drives a BMW, California license plate #2GAT123.
- The Zeta Theta Beta sisters threw a successful car wash and were able to raise enough money for den mother Karen to afford another round of chemo-therapy.
- In the P.I. world, a tenth wedding anniversary is often referred to as the "Dine and Ditch" as many spouses ditch their significant others right before the tenth anniversary so that they don't have to share half of their assets.
- Patrice Petrelli was a Zeta Theta Beta pledge of the graduating class of 2007.
- Before the lawn on the south quad became the place to see and be seen sunbathing, the Zeta Theta Beta girls would lay out on the sorority house roof.
- According to Veronica's caller ID, Logan's cell phone number is (858) 555-0107. Interestingly enough, the same phone number (albeit with a 619 area code) was listed as Mac's cell phone number in Not Pictured.
- It's a crisp fall day at Hearst as two students are tossing a Frisbee back and forth outside. The one student motions for his friend to go long and then throws the Frisbee. The friend starts running after it but trips and falls over something. Or ... someone? His sore elbow is quickly forgotten once he realizes that it's Chip Diller, lord of the Pi Sigs, that he stumbled over. The guy starts laughing because Chip's naked expect for his briefs, and his hair's been shaved off in uneven patches. The other student runs up with his camera phone, also chuckling. He snaps a shot of Chip's unconscious form and continues laughing. So, what, does everyone on campus have something against Chip? Now, I'm no fan, but shouldn't someone see if he's okay? Where's the campus camaraderie?
While Veronica's talking with the new editor of the Hearst Free Press, those same guys stroll in and ask the editor if the newspaper pays for photos, because they've got a photo worthy of the front page. Uh, presume much? Granted, the recently ousted Nish would have had a field day with a photo like that, but will the new editor be so tasteless as to shame a member of the student body by printing it for public consumption? Veronica takes a look at the photo and is troubled.
Veronica finds out from Fern that the Pi Sigs have kicked off "Sex Quest '06". The boys are back to awarding themselves points for getting laid. Okay, so let me get this right. Last year they got a semester probation, just a few weeks ago they were nearly kicked off campus, and the board of trustees is about to vote on whether or not to remove the Greek system from Hearst -- now with all that in mind, HOW does this seem like a good idea? Well, there's one Pi Sig she can semi-rely on for information...
Dick Casablancas. Hey, I did say semi-reliable. She joins him in the Hearst cafeteria and asks him if it's such a good idea for the Pi Sigs to be having their "Sex Quest" at a university with a serial rapist. Dick says not to worry about him, because, you know, that's exactly what Veronica was doing. His points are in order courtesy of a Miss Bonnie Capistrano, whose curvature of the spine is barely noticeable, he says. But he still got the "handicapped bonus." Yeah, is anyone else a little relieved that Logan and Dick have stopped hanging out? Veronica tells him that he's repugnant but moves on, which you kind of have to do with Dick. She asks him if he's considered the possibility that Chip getting his head shaved was someone's way of warning the frat about the Sex Quest. Dick says that makes sense and goes on to reveal that not only was Chip's head shaved, someone stuck a plastic Easter egg in his ... where-the-sun-don't-shine place. Veronica is shocked but nonetheless quips, "Worst. Easter egg hunt. Ever." Did the show really just go there? Why yes, it did. So prepare yourself for more ass jokes that you ever really needed or wanted to hear.
Veronica isn't feeling very empathetic towards poor Chip, but she's curious as to the motivation. It turns out that there was a Roman numeral inside the egg, but he doesn't know what it was and he's guessing that Chip threw the egg out. Veronica asks him when the garbage is collected, and he replies that the truck comes by on Friday. But Morty the homeless dude comes on Thursday to pull out bottles and cans from the dumpster. He doesn't know if they recycle keister eggs. Ha ... ha. Very funny, Dick.
Just as Dick said, Morty is going through the trash inside the dumpster when he and Veronica arrive outside the Pi Sig house. Veronica offers Morty a twenty dollar bill to look for a plastic egg while he's down there. Ah, paying homeless men to do your dirty work ... it seems familiar somehow. Bum fights, anyone? While Morty searches, a young women in slutty attire exits the frat house. Dick throws up his arms and shouts, "what the hell, Bonnie?" That's apparently what she was thinking. Another cute frat boy. What the hell? Bonnie walks away, quite pleased with herself. Aw, but didn't you hear, Dick? She thinks you're cute. Morty then pops his head out of the dumpster with a pink plastic egg in his hand. Veronica cringes but she's come prepared with a sealable plastic bag. Tell me she plans to sanitize the hell out of that thing.
Later that day, Veronica and Wallace are grabbing dinner at the cafeteria as she's telling him about Chip. They grab a table and Veronica shows him the Roman numerals that were inside the egg: CXI CMIII, or 111 903. She puts the numbers in front of him and tells him to get crackin' (no pun intended), because he's her numbers guy (and ... also a cheater, remember?). Wallace has no idea, and he still can't get past the fact that someone stuck an egg ... well, you know. He gives it a shot, though, and guesses that it's a student ID number. Veronica pulls out her ID card and counts the digits. One too many. Bad, Wallace! But then she sees a date (her birthday? date of issuance?) on the card and has an idea. She draws two backslashes in the set of numbers and gets 11/19/03. Three years and two days ago.
Veronica heads to library after hours and leafs through a book of back issues for the Hearst Free Press (at least they're not on dreaded microfilm). She's looking for something significant that happened on November 19, 2003. She comes to an article titled "Theta Beta pledge falls off house roof -- Pitrelli '07 falls off sorority house roof while girls were sunbathing." That? I'd call significant.
The next day, as Veronica is grilling Hallie about Selma Rose, she throws in a side question about Patrice Pitrelli. Hallie says that she heard from her Theta Beta sisters that Patrice just had one too many hard lemonades and fell off the roof. Simple as that. No one pushed her and it's not like she died. Yeah, but she fell off a roof. Hallie suggests that Veronica talk to someone in Patrice's pledge class. She wasn't a student at Hearst when Patrice was.
Meanwhile, things aren't going so well for Chip. Veronica and Wallace are eating in the cafeteria again when he walks in with a cap over his bald head. Three guys at a nearby table start singing the lyrics to "Peter Cottontail" as he walks by. Chip flips out and throws his tray of food at one of the guys and launches himself at the table, managing to knock down a female student that happens to be walking by. And it's Wallace to the rescue. He rushes over to help the girl up and then tries to pull one of the guys off Chip. He fails, though, and some guy wearing an Iota Gamma Tau sweatshirt comes up, tears Wallace away from Chip and the other guy, and punches him. That's it. Time to say hello to Mr. Sparky. Veronica gets up and Tasers sweatshirt dude. Another guy from the table comes up from behind Veronica and grabs her. A tall, burly man dressed all in black comes out of nowhere, picks up Veronica, and rushes her out of the cafeteria. She screams and he muffles it with his hand. Once outside, he sets her down and she demands to know just what the hell is going on. He assures her that he's there to help. Mr. Echolls hired him to protect her. And judging by the look of fury and indignity on Veronica's face, I'm guessing that wasn't such a good idea.
Veronica runs into Hallie at school the next day and wants to know the real reason Patrice jumped off the Theta Beta house roof. Hallie snaps back that Patrice's best friend just faked a rape, so she should go harass her. She must be talking about Claire, but Veronica asks for clarification anyway. Hallie says that they were in the same pledge class.
Veronica goes to Claire's place and knocks on the door. Claire answers and Veronica gets right to the point: What did Chip Diller have to do with Patrice Pitrelli falling off the roof? Claire tells her to come in; they will enlighten her. They ...? She opens the door wider, revealing Fern on the couch and Nish at the kitchen counter. Shocker. Veronica hesitantly walks in. Nish comments that she's impressed with her tenacity, if not her politics. Oh, goodie, Veronica can now die happy. But really, can Nish just admit that she got herself fired? A grown woman blaming all her problems on a freshman? Lame!
Anyway, Veronica says that she knows Patrice fell off the Theta Beta roof. Claire corrects her; Patrice didn't fall, she walked right off. She says that the Theta Betas would take pledges to a secret room where they'd have them undress. Veronica turns to looks at Nish in disbelief. She knows that Veronica went undercover at the Theta Beta house and didn't see any two-way mirror. Nish maintains that they're just hiding it, and Claire insists that she saw it when she was there with Patrice. The rush officer would have the pledges strip and would mark up the areas of their bodies that needed "work." Patrice was a Theta Beta legacy, but she was overweight and pale. They covered her in marks, and they used permanent marker so she'd see them for weeks. As for Chip's involvement, he and his Pi Sig brothers came to watch and ridicule her. Patrice was distraught. The sisters just told her to get a tan, but one day -- November 19th, 2003 -- she came out on the roof where all the girls were tanning and walked right off the edge. She spent a couple months in the hospital and is now in a mental-health facility.
Veronica shakes her head, and Fern takes that to mean that she doesn't believe them. Veronica says that she does, and that what happened to Patrice was terrible. But she also thinks that's powerful motivation for them to fake a rape. The three women look around uncomfortably. Or maybe a series of rapes. Veronica wonders how many of them were real -- other than Chip's, that is. There's been no semen found on any of the victims. No hair. They can blame Veronica all they want for clearing the Pi Sigs of their rape charges, but they faked the rape that got the frat in trouble. The women aren't denying it, but what does that change? Not much. So Veronica shows herself out.
What the Lilith women also aren't denying is Chip's rape -- and yes, he was still violated, even if he is a jackass. Is Veronica going to do anything with that information? Has Chip even reported his assault? Probably not, if Dick was supposed to keep it a secret. But it doesn't seem right that the Lilith women should get away with what they've done. Yes, whoever the rapist is has certainly gone too far, but so have they. And do I really believe that Nish and co. have faked all the campus rapes? No. The rape arc isn't over, yet. There has to be more.
- And how is our intrepid detective dealing with her own almost-rape from last week? She's as feisty as ever in this episode, but internally she's still very much shaken up about the attack. She's in full avoidance mode, and Logan's noticed. He shows up at the Mars residence as she's heading out to go to the cocktail party and right after her father had to remind her to call her boyfriend. Facing her in the flesh, now, Logan calls her out on the fact that shes either missed all of his calls or is just avoiding him. He says that they need to have a serious talk, and she admits that that's why she hasn't been calling him back. She isn't ready to talk. Logan says he'll make it quick, then. He wants her to stay away from the rape case, because it's clear the rapist knows who she is. Veronica motions for him to lower his voice; her dad only knows that she was drugged, not that the rapist shaved off a patch of her hair. Logan suggests that Keith should maybe be in the loop about that, but Veronica turns that right down.
I see both of their reasoning here. Veronica might have very well told her father that she was starting to feel dizzy in the cafeteria and called Logan to get her -- end of story. He doesn't know how much danger she was and could still be in. But it's Veronica's business if she wants to tell him, not Logan's. Logan says fine, but she still needs to leave her nose out of the rape case. Veronica's response is indignant; her nose belongs wherever she decides to put it. And isn't his concern a bit of a one-eighty from last week, she asks. When he wanted her to clear Mercer from his rape charges? Logan asserts that it's different now because she was targeted. But Veronica isn't having any of this. Logan raises his voice; she isn't invincible and she isn't always right. No, she isn't, but Veronica doesn't respond well to people telling her what to do. Even loved ones. Speaking of loved ones, Keith hears Logan's shouting and comes out of his room. He tells Logan to stop yelling at his daughter, and Logan quips back that maybe he should start. With that, he leaves. Veronica explains to her father that Logan is just worried about her. Keith asks her if he has a reason to be worried, and she just sighs and tells him that the rapist has everyone on edge.
Later that night, as Veronica's walking back alone (alone!? Why?) to her car after the party, she hears the sound of glass breaking and stops cold. She looks behind her but no one is there. She looks to her side and sees someone's shadow disappearing from one of the walls. Spooked, Veronica digs through her bag and pulls out her Taser, which she clutches tightly to her chest, and runs the rest of the way back to her car.
Later that week, as Veronica is searching through the Free Press archives, she hears squeaking noises. She wastes no time in getting out of there. She runs down the stairs of the library and hides behind the front desk where she works. The squeaking increases and a pair of legs appears to her side. A mop hits the floor and a yellow bucket rolls into view. Phew! It's just the janitor. Veronica breathes a sigh of relief. She really is rattled.
Which explains why she's furious with Logan for hiring a bodyguard to protect her. After the cafeteria incident, she storms into his hotel suite and proceeds to chew him out. She fumes that he had no right to do that -- and no, he didn't, not without consulting her. He says he doesn't care if she's angry, he cares that she's safe. Veronica retorts that that's not how a relationship works. If he can't accept her and her work, then she can't be with him. She is who she is, and she's not going to change. Logan asks her, then, why she can't accept who he is and not constantly expect him to change. Ouch. It's true. They're both wrong, really. But maybe he'd feel a little better if he knew that she was as invested in their relationship as he is. Logan tells her that he loves her, and asks her uncertainly if she feels the same. After a moment, Veronica tearfully replies, "yeah." I do believe she loves him, but she didn't want to admit it to him -- not like that. Not with him forcing a yes or no answer out of her during a fight. If she was going to tell him she loved him, it would be when the timing was right, and it would be on her terms. She wasn't ready, and I suspect she resents him somewhat for that. So, nothing's changed. They're not "okay." She'll continue investigating the rape case and he'll continue with the power plays. Stubborn kids.
But Logan wants to make it work. He sees her purchasing lunch in the cafeteria the next day and probably wants to join her, so he calls her cell to give her a heads up. Except ... she sees who's calling on her phone's screen and oh-so-heartbreakingly ignores the call. She just doesn't want to deal. And this line from Season One is echoing in mind: When things get out of control, I need to be alone. Logan watches on sadly as Veronica sits down at a table and starts eating ... by herself, without him ... He's probably thinking, where do we go from now?
"Made To Be Broken" (Paul Minor)
Scene: And here we have sprawled upon the lawn ... the recipient of the worst. Easter. Egg. Hunt. Ever.
"Poison Cup" (M Ward)
Scene: {{Sob}} Logan. {{Sob}} Cellphone. {{Sob}} Watching Veronica ignoring his call. {{Sob}} Looking more Woobie-fied than ever! {{Sob}} and the camera keeps pulling away ... {{Sob}} and so heart-breaking!
LoVe Lines
Veronica: (To Keith) I'm off to steal the souls of the rich with my evil image capturing device.
Keith: (Offscreen) Have fun! Oh and call Logan, he left a couple messages.
Veronica: I will. Bye! (Opens door to find Logan outside)
Logan: Wow, synchronicity.
Veronica: Hey there. Tall, dark and timely.
Logan: I want you to stay away from the rape case. Okay? Just let it go. Its clear the rapist knows who you are.
Veronica: (Hushed to Logan so Keith won't overhear,) He doesn't know about the hair, just about the getting dosed part.
Logan: Well maybe he should be in the loop on this one.
Veronica: Don't you dare.
Logan: Fine. Just stop digging around. No more looking into the serial rapes, no more putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
Veronica: (Getting irritated). My nose kind of belongs wherever I decide to put it.
Logan: I'm worried about you. I want you to stop now, I'm not kidding.
Veronica: Kind of a 180, isn't it? Can we rewind a week? Cue it up to the part where you were asking me to exonerate your Mexican vacation buddy, Mercer.
Logan: That was before you were attacked. Why can't you for once just leave things alone?
Veronica: Okay, now you're starting to piss me off.
Logan: Frankly Veronica, so what? You're not invincible and you're not always right!
Keith: Hey! You might want to stop yelling at my daughter.
Logan: Yeah? You might want to start.
Veronica: (Angrily.) I have spent the last few days being terrified that I had some whacked-out rapist following me!
Logan: Look, I had the same fear.
Veronica: So you pay someone to tail me?
Logan: No, so I asked you to stop putting yourself in danger and you told me to piss off. Then I hired someone to protect you.
Veronica: You had no right to do that.
Logan: Look, that's probably true ... okay? It's just I don't care.
Veronica: You don't care?
Logan: Look, I don't give a rat's ass if it's right or fair. I don't care if you're angry. I care that you're safe.
Veronica: That's all sweet and great, but it doesn't really work that way. It's not like this is all some new facet of my personality. You know who I am! You know what I do.
Logan: And?
Veronica: And ... it isn't gonna change. And if you can't accept that, this isn't gonna work.
Logan: (Standing up.) You know who I am. And you're constantly expecting me to change. And even right now, as you're thinking, "Crap, he's got a point," you still think you're ultimately right. (Veronica looks away, eyes filling with tears.) I love you, Veronica. (She looks back at him.) I love you. (She looks away.) But, do you love me?
Veronica: (Looks at him, speaking softly.) Yeah.
Logan: Well then, can we try to go a little easier on each other?
Veronica: (Lets out a deep breath.) Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
Logan: (Puts arms around her.) So, are we okay?
Veronica: (Holding him.) Yeah ... we're okay.
Quotable Quotes
Editor: You know about the election?
Veronica: The Board of Trustees is voting on a resolution to remove the Greek system from Hearst.
Editor: Thats' the one. Vote's tomorrow. Tonight there's a reception -- that's university speak for 'cocktail party' -- for the Board of Trustees. We need art.
Veronica: Yeah, I can shoot it.
Editor: Bonus points if you get the Dean wearing a lampshade but mostly we want pictures of our most famous alum and Board member, Selma Rose.
Veronica: Mind if I take a quick shot for The Hearst Free Press?
Dean: Which one of my good sides do you want?
Selma: (Handing him a napkin.) I'm guessing the one without the trail of Thousand Island.
Dean: You should really be nice to me -- I'm about to kiss your ass.
Dean: Ladies and gentleman, I give you Selma Hearst Rose! (People applaud but Selma fails to appear). Selma? You're not waiting for me to carry you piggy back, are you?
Lamb: Foul play. You think? What makes you say so?
Dean: An extremely wealthy woman disappears in the middle of a reception held in her honor. Don't you find that -- I don't know -- odd?
Lamb: Well, I mean, there's odd and there's foul play. Rich ladies aren't the most reliable creatures.
Dean: (Perfectly sarcastic.) Of course. She must have remembered her tennis lesson. How silly of her to forget. I don't suppose there's someone I could speak with who would take this seriously.
Lamb: Dollars to donuts you'll find her sobbing into a mojito at the club because she lost an earring.
Dean: Well, you'd be the donut expert. Excuse me. (Goes over to talk to Veronica for some REAL help.)
Veronica: (On the phone, to Keith.) Beer off your belly, hand outta your boxers, put on some pants -- I'm bringing home a visitor.
Dean O'Dell: Look, the Sheriff is an idiot. I've met smarter sandwiches.
Keith: So, here's my thought: I'll go talk to the family tomorrow, and you talk to the waitress and the caterer.
Veronica: Ah ... (Pointing at Keith with her forefinger ...) High road, (and pointing at herself with her thumb, forming a gun.) low road. (Clicking her tongue.) Got it.
Veronica: Hey, Fern. What up, girl?
Fern: What do you want, Buffy, Tiffany, whatever your name is?
Veronica: (Reading off Fern's textbook) "The female voice in Celtic literature." I am woman, hear me bore.
Veronica: (to Fern) I heard you had a little chat with Selma Rose last night, right before she disappeared. Can I guess? She was contemplating a nose ring?
Veronica: I wasn't saving the Pi Sigs, I was getting to the truth.
Fern: Well, the truth is that your Pi Sig friend just kicked off "Sex Quest '06." You know what that is, freshman?
Veronica: Yeah, they award themselves points for getting laid.
Fern: (Patting Veronica's shoulder.) Just watch what you drink.
Sacks: Guess who's on the phone for you.
Lamb: Someone who wants to sit on hold while you play stupid games.
Sacks: (Suggestively.) Martina Vasquez.
Lamb: Martina Vasquez? The hottie from Channel 9?
Lamb: (to Veronica, who is pretending to be Martina.) If you'd like, I can keep you in the loop with this sort of stuff.
Keith: (Picks up the phone in the Mars kitchen) Hello?Q
Veronica: (Quickly.) Dad, I'm on the phone.
Keith: Oh, sorry, honey! Let me know when you're off! (Hangs up.)
Veronica: (Resuming her accent.) Sheriff ... you were saying you'd be able to keep me in the loop? (Lamb quickly hangs up the phone and stares at it.)
Veronica: The Pi Sigs are doing their "Sex Quest" again. Collecting points for conquests? Think that's such a good idea at a university with a serial rapist on the loose?
Dick: You raise an uninteresting point. But hey, don't worry your pretty head about your pal Dick. My points are in order courtesy of Miss Bonnie Capistrano. Her curvature of the spine is hardly noticeable. But I still got the handicapped bonus.
Veronica: You're repugnant, Dick.
Dick: Seriously, you can hardly notice it.
Veronica: Ever stop to think that the Pi Sig's "Sex Quest" might be connected to your Pi Sig president getting his head shaved, like it's a warning? Or retribution or something?
Dick: Actually, that kind of makes sense. Okay, I'm so not supposed to be telling you this, but it's way too good. So, not only did Chip get Kojaked, someone put a Roman numeral on one of those little plastic Easter eggs and stuck it in his where-the-sun-don't-shine place. And you know where that is.
Veronica: (staring at Dick wide-eyed and open-mouthed before smiling slightly.) Worst. Easter egg hunt. Ever.
Veronica: Do you know what he did with it?
Dick: If it's not in his hope chest, I'm thinking he threw it out.
Veronica: When is your garbage collected?
Dick: And you think I'm "repungent."
Veronica: Yes, Dick. Yes, I do.
Fern: Why are you following me around?
Veronica: Fulfilling my gym requirement. Yoga had a written final.
Dick: (Seeing his "Sex Quest" partner walk out of the frat house.) What the hell, Bonnie?!
Bonnie: That's exactly what I was thinking. Another cute frat boy. What the hell?
Wallace: What am I doing?
Veronica: Telling me what these numbers mean.
Wallace: They mean we got some twisted sickos here. Anything else I can help you with, that's free of charge.
Keith: Morning.
Veronica: Yes, it is. It came a little bit earlier than I would have liked.
Wallace: Why would someone stick an egg -?
Veronica: That's what I'm trying to find out. (Veronica looks at the numbers written down in front of her) Driver's license number? Check number?
Wallace: Just one egg, right?
Veronica: Wallace!
Veronica: It's almost like you don't wanna help. (Glares at Wallace faux-seriously.)
Keith: Morning.
Veronica: Yes, it is. It came a little bit earlier than I would have liked.
Hallie: You're blocking my sun.
Veronica: Oh! Is that yours? (Fake bimbo laugh.) I'm so sorry!
Veronica: (To Hallie.) Your face is getting a little pinkish; you should flip.
Veronica: You having a job? Shock right there! It requiring that you wear a plastic bag on your hand while waiting for Fido to kick out a lodger? That makes me dizzy.
Hallie: You don't know the first thing about me, Veronica.
Veronica: I know like eight, possibly nine things. But you're right. I have no idea which one is first. Is it that you're a Theta Beta that'd do anything for her sorority?
Hallie: One time Mr. Rose was taking a nap and I saw Brant stroking his hair. So completely creepy! Oh! And just a couple of weeks ago Mr. Rose asked him to help him with an anniversary party for Mrs. Rose and Brant threw a teacup at the wall. I mean, the guy's been married for ten years and Brant thinks he's going to switch teams for a sorry tea-cup throwing ass? I don't think so!
Hallie: God! What's with all the questions? What's next? Do you want to know where I buried Jimmy Hoffman?
Veronica: Dustin's brother?
Hallie: Oh ... and speaking of, you'll be happy to know, Karen? Our den mother? We had a car wash to raise enough money for another round of Chemo. (Sarcastically.) Stay sweet, Veronica.
Veronica: I don't know about you but I am dripping with information.
Keith: And I have so much information, I have no place left inside for food.
Veronica: Apparently Brant is the Smithers to Mr. Rose's Monty Burns. There are tales of hair stroking, swimfanian-like love; Mr. Rose asked for help planning his ten-year wedding anniversary; Brant's response? Throwing a teacup.
Keith: A ten-year wedding anniversary? (Slams his hands down on his desk.) Have I taught you nothing?! What do we call a tenth anniversary in the P.I. bus?
Veronica: (Light dawning on her face.) Dine and ditch.
Veronica: (From the top of the fence.) This is just like that time we went to Disneyland! If I have another altercation with Snow White and her disapproving dwarfs, you're taking Sneezy this time.
Veronica: (Peeking through the bars at Keith and whispering.) The park is closed. The walrus out front should have told you.
Keith: I'm a private investigator. Cyrus O'Dell hired me to find you.
Selma: Poor Cyrus. He can't get anything right, can he?
Selma: You were at the reception.
Keith: This is my daughter, Veronica. She works with me ... occasionally.
Veronica: (Pointing at Keith.) Ryan. (Then at herself.) Tatum. When he gets in a jam, I make with the cute.
Keith: Are you in some sort of trouble?
Selma: I will be if you tell anyone you saw me, so I would appreciate it if you didn't. I can appreciate it monetarily if that's necessary.
Selma: Just good old-fashioned blackmail. My husband knows about my lover, and he's demanded I "disappear" until after our tenth anniversary.
Veronica: (Patting Keith on the chest in congratulations for the good guess.) The dine 'n' ditch. What? He'd only wind up with ten million instead of a hundred?
Keith: You know, I'm sorry if this is out of line, but plenty of couples have split over infidelity. I'm sure you can find a lawyer who could get you out of this less expensively.
Selma: Have you ever been a walking punch line, Mr. Mars? I mean, on a national scale?
Keith: (Sharing a look with Veronica.) Actually ...
Wallace: So the plan's in motion?
Veronica: As we speak. We found the perfect eyewitness to the "kidnapping."
Wallace: That's not me, is it? (Grins.)
Veronica: Whatever happened to "winter, spring, summer, or fall; all I got to do is call, and you'll be there?"
Lamb: Cute young girlfriend, rich older wife. I'm kinda shocked I'm not investigating a murder.
Dean: I'm grateful for your help but a little surprised I didn't get a discount -- repeat customer and all.
Keith: I didn't charge you for the photocopies or the stamps.
Dean: Oh, that was nice.
Selma: Who knew the cavalry would be so handsome?
Dean: Don't be nice to me Selma, it'll ruin everything.
Hallie: I know you think I'm some kind of gold digger, but I love Budd.
Veronica: And all of his beautiful money? Or is true love so blind you didn't notice that he's an adulterer, older than your father and confined to a wheelchair?
Hallie: Budd Rose is more of a man that you could ever begin to handle.
Veronica: Slow down Anna-Nicole, you're skeevin' me out. And the fact is I don't care if he's Ron Jeremy on wheels. You wanna impress me? Tell me the truth about Patrice Petrelli.
Nish: Veronica Mars. Well, I'm impressed with your tenacity if not your politics.
Lord of the Flies (Referenced by the episode title.)
Lord of the Flies is a novel written by William Golding in 1954. The title is in reference to the Hebrew Beelzebub which means "god of the fly" or, more commonly, a synonym for Satan. It is one of the most important novels in the new Young Adult fiction genre that emerged in post-war 1950/60's, focusing on the unique problems which occur when a child is transforming into an adult. Another novel typical of the genre is Catcher in the Rye.
"There is a beast, but it's only us."
The story takes place during World War II. A plane is shot down over the ocean while attempting to evacuate schoolboys (aged six to twelve) from England. None of the adults survive the crash and the boys are left to fend for themselves on a deserted island. Among the boys are Ralph, Jack and Piggy. Ralph is a charismatic, blond boy resembling a boxer who is voted in as their leader; Jack is the leader of a schoolboy choir (that eventually becomes his team of hunters), jealous of Ralph's leadership and competitive; Piggy is the slightly pudgy nerd who needs his glasses to survive (glasses that are used to make fire) and is often the voice of civil reason throughout the text though his patronizing approach to rules makes him unlikable.
Though Ralph is irritated by Piggy, he listens to his advice: first using a large conch shell to call other survivors to the beach, then attempting to make rules and light a fire so that they can be seen by passing ships/planes. Jack quickly becomes obsessed with perfecting his hunting skills, he doesn't care about any other contributions to the group (including a signal fire for their potential rescue). Ralph is more concerned with trying to get rescued. Piggy wants to make sure they stay civilized.
To Jack, those who hunt are the fittest on the island -- the survivors and the powerful. His prey are the wild pigs on the island, pigs that successfully evade him the first time he tries to kill one. Next time however, the hunters catch their kill sparking a wild, primal and bloody celebration of success, freedom and dominance. The hunters, however, were meant to be maintaining the signal fire and their raucous celebration occurs while a ship is passing, none-the-wiser about the island's inhabitants.
The event sparks an angry feud between Jack and Ralph, resulting in Jack punching Piggy when he tries to keep peace -- one half of Piggy's spectacles break. Piggy is the symbol of civilization and he is always the character that gets hurt when Jack and Ralph clash.
The character that everyone should be worrying about however is the somewhat sadistic Roger who, under Jack's influence, is becoming obsessed with the hunt because of the thrill of hurting something (rather than anything symbolic). The choirboys quickly become a hunting pack, their black robes are replaced with painted faces -- the masks that allow them the freedom of enjoying the hunt without social rules -- and they reenact their successful hunt with a tribal dance highlighting their savagery. It becomes obvious that the children --- being immature children -- don't understand why Ralph needs to keep the fire going, nor the need to escape, they don't like working and rules, and it's much easier to live under Jack's rule where every boy is a hunter looking out for himself and the pack.
Two planes engage in a dog fight over the island and though one of the pilot parachutes out of the plane, he dies as he floats down on the island. The children don't understand what he is and are convinced that he is the "beastie" that the six year olds have been paranoid about since they first crashed on the island. Jack demands that they hunt down the beastie and kill it (even though it's already dead), but Ralph doesn't want to. Jack demands a vote to see if the boys want him to replace Ralph as leader. No one votes. He asks if anyone wants to come with him, nobody answers, and he runs off in tears. But later, Ralph realizes that most of the older boys have left with Jack forming a second, more violent tribe living under Jack's rule.
A more detailed account of the novel's plot can be found here, but basically by the end of the novel the struggle between Jack and Ralph's tribes has become a fight to the death and Ralph is alone on his side. Jack only realizes he needs fire when he loses it and sends a team out to attack Piggy for his glasses; the conch shell is broken; Roger murders Piggy later when Ralph and Piggy confront Jack's tribe about their actions (not the first murder -- all of the children killed Simon, a gentle soul, when they thought he was the "beastie"); Jack tries to kill Ralph by starting a raging fire and when that fails sends his pack out to hunt him down. In other words, the civilization fall apart, they go to war and give in to baser cruel instincts. Ironically, it is the fire set to kill Ralph that eventually gets spotted by a passing ship. As Ralph runs for his life from the tribe hunting him down, he almost runs into a Naval officer who has come to investigate if there are people on the island.
The novel has one of the most effective endings I've ever encountered and one of the most controversial. The external world discovers them, adults resume their places as authorities and the children -- murderous and barbrous as they were by the end -- burst into scared, childish tears.
It can be argued that William Golding's novel is a shocking refutation of the Romantic notion of childhood 'innocence' -- that children are the purest form of man, incapable of evil and naively playful. Golding's deliberate refutation of this naive conviction is most obvious by the numerous references to Coral Island by R.M. Ballantyne (1857) with characters called Ralph, Peterkin and Jack who go on a series of innocent, unrealistic sugarcoated adventures on an island. Golding's novel is disturbing because these children become animals in their wilderness, quickly dissolving barely formed concepts of civilization because giving in to basic instincts is more fun. Today, the novel is considered a must-read but still makes people nervous, with constant debates over the legitimacy of Golding's central premise: Are children really capable of this kind of evil when left to their own devices? So controversial are the novel's themes that, the American Library Association listed it as one of America's "100 Most Frequently Refuted Books of 1990-2000."
The novel has been turned into a film twice, first by Peter Brook (1963) and more recently by Harry Hook (1990) and - oh look! I can rhyme, mom!
Interestingly, there was an animated series called The Weekenders that more directly references the title of this episode. "Lord of the Pies" is one of the ever-changing themes at the local pizza place; Lor's 14 brothers run around chasing a pig.
California (Referenced by Veronica as she refers to her mother as the last flower child in the state.)
California is the thirty-first state in the United States and spans the southern half of the Pacific Coast. It is the largest state in population (thirty-seven million) and the third largest in area (158,402 square miles). California is home to several significant economic regions such as Hollywood, the California Central Valley, Silicon Valley, and the Wine Country. It is also home to several important cities and towns (Sacramento, Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, etc).
The name is believed to be a derivation of the mythical paradise of Calafia portrayed in Amadis de Guala, a sixteenth century Spanish romance by Garci Rodriguez de Montalvo. Others believe the name to be a play on the Spanish words for "hot as an oven;" "cali" meaning "hot" and "fornus" meaning oven.
Different regions of California have very different climates, depending the latitude and proximity to the coast. Most of the state has a Mediterranean climate, with rainy winters and dry summers. 60.5% of the population speaks English, 25.8% speak Spanish, 2.6% speak Chinese, and the rest speak Tagalog, Vietnamese, or some other language. The languages of the indigenous people number more than one hundred, making California one of the most linguistically diverse areas in the world.
Flower Child (Referenced by Veronica as she mentions her mother to the newspaper editor.)
The term "Flower Child," or, rather, "Flower Children," originated in San Francisco in the summer of 1967 (called the Summer of Love). The Summer of Love was a pivotal event in the development of the counterculture of the 1960 in the United States. Returning from the Monterey Pop Festival that took place in June 1967 and was billed as "three days of music, love and flowers," the newly minted Flower Children spread the love to their respective hometowns.
Lianne, is that you?
In April of 1969 the term acquired political connotation, when the San Francisco Bay Area Flower Children attempted to build a People's Park by planting flowers and trees in Berkley, California. The authorities (who must have had something against trees, parks and people) tore down the park and installed an eight-foot tall wire fence around the perimeter. After the event, planting flowers became symbolic of peaceful resistance.
Flower Children was simply a synonym for hippie, and was descriptive of their tendency to wear flowers as symbols of love and peace. The term was originally only used in plural, describing a group rather than individuals. Later on the term Flower Child, as a singular, became synonymous with Generation X children who were raised by hippie parents (or had unusual names, like Moon Unit, River or Rainbow).
I wonder if Lianne Mars was that kind of a Flower Child: A product of a certain environment rather than a hippie herself. Its hard to imagine a one-time Neptune High prom queen protesting something by, say, planting a bush in front of the Vandenberg Air Force Base, while singing Scott McKenzie's rendition of the song "San Francisco" and saying things like "groovy, man," "can you dig it?!" or "right on!"
Just for fun!
Watts (Referenced by the editor as he describes the famous photo of Selma throwing her money there.)
Watts, part of Los Angeles Selma Rose chose to bestow her trust fund on in such a "sane" and "well-thought out" manner, is surrounded by the cities of South Gate and Lynwood, and areas of Willowbrook and Florence. Its boundaries are Century Boulevard on the north, Imperial Highway on the south, Mona Boulevard on the east, and Central Avenue on the west. Santa Ana Boulevard, Compton Avenue, Wilmington Avenue, and 108th Street are its principal thoroughfares. Watts is located in two Zip Codes: 90002 and 90059. So very, very far away from the prestigious 090909, in more ways than one.
The area started as a Mexican settlers' cattle ranch as part of the Rancho La Tajauta, which received the land grant in 1820. In the 1870s La Tajuata was sold and converted into smaller farms. The railroad was built, and in 1907 Watts became incorporated as a separate city, which they named after Charles H. Watts, a civic leader and landowner. The city was annexed to Los Angeles in 1926. In those times the community was mostly white and Mexican, but many black railroad workers have settled there over time. By 1940s Watts became predominately black. During World War II many projects were built to house war industry workers. As whites continued to move to suburbs, the area became almost entirely black by the 1960s.
The growing unrest due to unfair treatment of the black community led to the explosive events known as the Watts Riot on August 11, 1965. The riot was triggered by the arrest for drunk driving of a black youth by the California Highway Patrol. Though this occurred outside Watts, the area was by far the most damaged. The aftermath included the rise of gangs, gang violence and drug use and trafficking (especially crack cocaine), which reached epidemic proportions by the late 1980s. More riots occurred in 1992, followed by a lot of African Americans leaving Watts, and Mexican and Central American immigrants moving in. Numerous fights between the blacks and the Hispanics ensued. For decades Watts' neighborhoods have been developing and implementing strategies to overcome the problems of violence and poverty by encouraging the arts and other initiatives.
Seriously, Selma, couldnt you have contributed your trust fund to that? So much more productive, and no one would have hauled you off to jail for a month!
Mexican (Mexico) (Referenced by Veronica when she refers to Logan and Mercer's trip.)
Mexico is a country located in North America, approximately 753,665 square miles in size, bordered at the north by the United States, and at the south with Guatemala and Belize in Central America. It is the northernmost and westernmost country in Latin America, and with a population of 106.5 million, Mexico is also the most populous Spanish-speaking country in the world. The official name is Estados Unidos Mexicanos, which translates as the United Mexican States. The term State of Mexico (Estado de Mexico) does not refer to the country, but only to one state within Mexico, located near the center of the country adjacent to the Federal District.
U.S. citizens, like Keith's crazy bail-jumper, have been known to cross the border into Mexico to evade U.S. authorities and skip tracers (like Papa Mars). Most often, these individuals cross the border into Tijuana due to its proximity to the world's busiest border crossing. What is interesting is that criminals continue to cross into Mexico to evade criminal prosecution despite the extradition treaty that has been in place between the U.S. and Mexico since 1980.
According to EscapingJustice.com, the Treaty provides for extradition of a party who has been charged with or found guilty of an offense committed in the United States, who has fled to Mexico. An offense is extraditable if it is a crime in both countries and punishable by incarceration for a period of one year or more. The Extradition Treaty further provides that where the offense for which extradition is sought is punishable by death, extradition may be refused unless assurances are given that the death penalty shall not be imposed, and if imposed, shall not be executed.
A Mexican refers to pertaining to Mexico.
Thousand Island (Referenced by Selma warning O'Dell that he has some on his face.)
Thousand Island dressing is a well-known variety of salad dressing commonly made of mayonnaise, ketchup, and a mixture of finely chopped vegetables (such as pickles, onions, bell peppers, and/or green olives) that sometimes includes chopped hard-boiled egg. A variant of Russian dressing, Thousand Island dressing was invented in the first decades of the twentieth century by Sophia LaLonde who substituted mayonnaise for the yogurt used in Russian dressing, and added pickle relish, chives and occasionally chopped, hard-boiled eggs. The dressing was popularized by one of her dinner guests, actress May Irwin.
Although no one is precisely sure when it was invented, Thousand Island dressing has been cited in print since at least 1912. As the dressing was very popular in Chicago, there is an alternate theory that the dressing was invented at Chicago's Blackstone Hotel in 1910, but most sources identify LaLonde as the creator. In the 1950's, Thousand Island dressing became a standard condiment, used on sandwiches and salads alike, a tradition that continues to this day. For example, Thousand Island dressing is a standard topping for a Reuben sandwich. The "special sauce" used on McDonald's Big Mac hamburger sandwich is really just a sweeter variation of Thousand Island dressing. Wendy's uses it as a dressing for its promotional sandwich, the Wendy Melt, and the Steak 'n Shake restaurant chain uses it as a dressing on several of its sandwich "melts."
There are two main theories as to the origin of the dressing's name: One says that May Irwin named it after LaLonde's home in the Thousand Islands region of upstate New York and Eastern Ontario; the other tale is that the name refers to the multitude of small specks that dot the dressing. My money is on the first explanation.
Mojito (Referenced by Lamb as he suggests to O'Dell that Selma's probably sobbing into one.)
A mojito is a Cuban cocktail that first gained popular in the United States in the late 1980's. The ingredients can vary slightly, but here is a typical mojito recipe:
Celtic Literature (Referenced by Veronica noticing Fern's book "The Female Voice in ...")
Celtic literature refers to any literature about Celts, or elements of Irish literature, British literature or Celtic-influenced literature from elsewhere. Although often written in English, Celtic literature is also likely to be composed in one of the Celtic languages: Irish, Welsh, Cornish, Manx, Scottish Gaelic and Breton or their older forms. Literature in written in Scots and Ulster Scots may also be included within the concept.
The older surviving Celtic texts generally concern stories about deities and mythology, while most British-sourced Celtic literature is generally centered around the legend of King Arthur. This is a feature that it shares with Welsh writings, though it is more prevalent amongst British texts. Celtic myths, particularly those concerning the Irish myths (also known as cycles) were preserved through oral tradition, probably between the period of Viking settlements in Ireland, from the 8th to the 11th century AD. They were composed by bards, who would recite the stories entirely in verse.
The Irish sagas weren't written down until the twelfth century AD by monastical scholars. These tales were recorded in two main manuscripts: the Book of Leinster and the Book of the Dun Cow. These were collection of hundreds of stories about the Ulaid Cycle and Fenian Cycle. Another noteworthy manuscript is the Yellow Book of Lecan written in the fourteenth century, containing a large number of stories. The Colloquy of the Ancients can be found in Scottish manuscript called the Book of the Dean of Lismore, in the sixteenth century. It should be noted that since most Irish myths or cycles were translated by monks, a Christian influence not inherent to the original texts has been incorporated to most of these stories.
More authors added more stories to the Celtic myths, in the sixteenth and seventeenth century. Notable works include those of James Macpherson (1736-1796), a Scottish poet. He caused controversy when he claimed his work to be that of Oisn, a warrior-poet of the third century AD. It was discovered that much of the works were really his own invention. Another well-known author was the Irish writer William Butler Yeats (1865-1939). Yeats and Macpherson were responsible for renewing people's interests in Celtic myths. They also influenced the Romantic movements in art as well as literature.
The main source for the Welsh myths were the Mabinogion, which contains eleven tales. Some of these tales are related to or belong to a specific series or cycle. Dating the individual tales in the Mabinogion is difficult, because they were probably composed by several different writers at various times. There are even earlier tales of Welsh legends, such as those composed by Taliesin and Aneirin in the sixth century. Surviving examples of Scottish literature from this period are inscriptions made by the Picts in stone. These inscriptions have not yet been fully translated or understood. Cornish writings featured giants and other mythical creatures.
There have been modern texts based around Celtic literature. Bernard Cornwell writes about the Arthurian legends in his series The Warlord Chronicles. Other writers of Celtic literature in English include Dylan Thomas and Sian James.
I Am Woman (Hear Me Bore) (Referenced by Veronica when she describes Fern's book.)
"I am a woman, hear me bore," is Veronica's funny, funny joke to Fern, when she sees her carrying a book entitled The Female Voice in Celtic Literature. Ah, the feminist humor! Or, rather, anti-feminist, which is only slightly funnier than the rape humor Veronica so freely indulged in this episode. Does anyone remember the time when Veronica herself was a strong female voice, or when she would have been outraged at anyone making fun of a crime victim, or even when she made better jokes? I do, fondly. Sigh.
The line "I am woman, hear me roar," parodied by Veronica, comes from the song by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton, that was adapted as a feminist anthem in the 1970's. This battle cry is as often misused as it is ridiculed. And Veronica, of all people, should be ashamed of resorting to the glib parody (then again, one can hardly fault Veronica entirely if the writers of the show are not capable of more than a glib parody of feminism itself).
The Big Lebowski (Referenced by the scene with Brandt, Keith and Budd's wall of awards.)
Written and directed by the Coen Brothers (Ethan and Joel), The Big Lebowski stars Jeff Bridges as The Dude. Not quite your normal movie fare, the convoluted plot weaves about eccentric characters as The Dude attempts to replace his urinated-upon carpet. Yes, you read that correctly. This cult classic also stars John Goodman and Julianne Moore. Long-time Coen favorite John Turturro is also featured.
In a scene from the film, Walter (Goodman) convinces the Dude (Bridges) to go see the Big Lebowski, seeking restitution for his rug. (The goons who urinated on it thought they were in the Big Lebowski's house.) When the Dude goes to meet Lebowski, he's greeted by his employee Brandt, who shows the Dude around the house while they're waiting for the Big L (who, like Budd Rose, uses a wheelchair). He shows him Lebowski's study and his various commendations and awards, including a "key to the city," his picture with Nancy Reagan and a puzzling plaque that the Dude starts touching. This causes Brandt to remove the Dude's finger from the plaque and when the Dude starts touching it again, he says, "Please don't touch that." The Dude doesn't really listen and touches it again, causing Brandt to shudder just a bit.
Kojak(ed) (Referenced by Dick as he and Veronica discuss what happened to Chip.)
"Who loves ya, baby?" The question, I'm sure, Chip is pondering. Well, not his fraternity brothers, it would seem. Some sing suggestive songs, and Dick here makes a glib Telly Savalas reference. Well, at least this one's about Chip's head.
Kojak, a TV series that ran on CBS from 1973 to 1978, starred Emmy and Golden Globe winner Telly Savalas as the titular character, the New York City cop Lt. Theo Kojak. The character was famous for his dark wit, tendency to bend the rules in order to see justice done (hmm, reminds me of someone!), and his preference for lollipops. But perhaps the biggest thing he was known for was his shiny bold head. To which Dick, in his stillborn attempt at wit, was alluding.
Bowchickabowwow!
The series portrayed Kojak as an incorruptible crime solver who didn't mind stretching the truth and skating around orders to find the culprit and avoid the system's pitfalls that, at the time, included playing fast and lose with civil rights of victims and criminals alike. And he looked good doing it. Snappy dresser, that one, and a lot of fun with his trademark lollipop (which, apparently Telly Savalas adopted in order to quit smoking) and his catch phrase "Who loves ya, baby?" Hmm, is anyone else thinking Keith Mars watched an episode or two in his time?
The show's gritty and unflinching approached helped pave the way for such series as Homicide: Life on the Street, NYPD Blue, and Law & Order.
Roman Numerals (Referenced by Dick when he tells Veronica what was found in the egg.)
Roman numerals is a numeral system that originated in -- gasp! -- ancient Rome, which was adapted from Etruscan numerals. The system used in classical antiquity was slightly modified in the Middle Ages to produce the system we use today. It is based on certain letters which are given values as numerals.
Roman numerals use a basic set of seven symbols:
Today, Roman numerals are commonly used in numbered lists (such as an outline), clockfaces, pages preceding the main body of a book, chord triads in music analysis, the numbering of movie sequels, book publication dates, successive political leaders or children with identical names, and the numbering of some sporting or entertainment events, and as a scoring system developed by piggish, misogynistic frat boys.
Hope Chest (Referenced by Dick as he suggests to Veronica that Chip probably didn't keep the plastic egg.)
A hope chest is a box, generally carved or constructed from wood, that contains items typically stored by unmarried young women in anticipation of future marriages or of their married lives. In fact, they were originally called wedding chests, but Americans later called them hope chests as in "hope for marriage" and the promise of love and security. In Australia and the United Kingdom, hope chests are commonly referred to as "glory boxes."
A basic cedar hope chest.
Hope chests were traditionally used to store hand-embroidered linens, to protect them until the bride was ready to use them in her new home. Other items commonly stored in a hope chest or glory box include clothing (such as a special dress), table linens, towels, bed linens, quilts and occasionally dishware. I've never seen any mention of a plastic Easter egg anywhere and since I doubt it holds any "special" memories for Chip (at least not any he wants to treasure), I would have to agree that if he had a hope chest, the egg wouldn't be welcome in it.
Yoga (Referenced by Veronica snarking to Fern that she's following her to fulfill a gym requirement.)
Yoga, which means "union" in Sanskrit, is a family of spiritual practices and thought that originated in India. The four main types of yoga are Karma, Bhakti, Jnana, and Raja. The asanas, or postures, of Hatha Yoga are a popular form fitness and meditative exercises in the West. Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism teach yoga as a means to enlightenment.
Modern yoga retains traditional elements of eastern religion, such as moral principles, postures designed to keep the body fit, spiritual philosophy, instruction by a guru, chanting mantras (sacred syllables), pranayama (breathing exercises), and stilling the mind through meditation.
"She always gets a replay. Never tilts at all." / Pinball Wizard (Referenced by Veronica to Dick after Bonnie mentions the pinball machine.)
Tommy, released in 1969, is the first of rock group, The Who's two full-scale rock operas, and the first musical work explicitly billed as a rock opera. In some older publications it is called Tommy (19141984). The opera was composed by Who guitarist Pete Townshend, with two tracks contributed by Who bassist John Entwistle and one fictitiously attributed to Who drummer Keith Moon, though actually written by Townshend.
The original 1965 album cover.
In 1975, the two record LP was turned into a star-studded musical film based on the concept album. It was directed by Ken Russell and featured performances from some of the biggest names in both rock-and-roll and film including Ann-Margaret, Jack Nicholson, Tina Turner, Elton John, Eric Clapton, and of course the members of The Who. Ann-Margret received a Golden Globe Award for her performance, and was also nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress. Pete Townshend was also nominated for an Oscar for his work in scoring and adapting the music for the film.
The 1975 film's tagline: "Your senses will never be the same."
I'm guessing that's particularly true if you were watching
it with the aid of, ah, chemical enhancements.
The story told in the rock opera is that of a young British boy named Tommy Walker. Tommy's father, RAF Group Captain Walker, has gone off to fight in World War I. Before Tommy is born, Captain Walkers plane is shot down from the sky leaving everyone to believe that he is dead. Six years after his apparent demise, Tommys mother meets a man named Frank Hobbs at a holiday camp and becomes involved with him.
Unbeknownst to the world, Captain Walker is very much alive. When he finally arrives home, instead of a tearful reunion with his loving family, Walker finds his wife in bed with Hobbs. In a rage of passion, he attacks Hobbs and kills him. Tommy is a witness to the terrible crime and so is told over and over again that he "didn't hear it, didn't see it" and "won't say nothing to no-one." As a result, Tommy becomes deaf, dumb, and blind -- utterly lost to his mother and to the world. (Man that would have come in handy last season during the endless reign of the Donut! Not to mention the Hannah arc.) In desperation, mommy dearest turns to a variety of characters including the preacher, the acid queen, and doctor for cures to Tommy's ailment, but without success.
Tommy's salvation and cure comes from a strange chance of fate. Alone in a junkyard at night, Tommy comes into contact with a device that will change his life forever. A pinball machine scattered among the refuse heaps allows Tommy to rise to national prominence and fame. Tommy's pinball prowess transforms him into a cult hero and many followers attend his holiday camps to find a new perspective on life. And right there you KNOW it's a movie because who ever heard of a nationally acclaimed pinball champ who just happened to head up a cult of followers that achieved enlightenment by attending his Christmas Camp?! Of course, stranger things have happened. I mean, Veronica was able to conveniently forget that her beloved ex slept with her when he thought she was his sister (to which I say a heartfelt eww!) so I suppose anything is possible.
As often happens in these unstable situations, Tommy's meteoric rise to fame ends in an equally impressive crash. Tommy's cult begins making unreasonable demands on him and eventually revolt against him and abandon him. Tragically (or not so tragically in the movie), his family is killed during the riot. However, it is only when Tommy is alone, abandoned by everyone in his life, that he is finally able to achieve new enlightenment.
The story of the film varied from that of the original opera in several ways: The movie takes place in the wake of World War II rather than WWI, largely to accommodate several visuals in the movie that would have been far beyond the original time period. Also, in the film, it is Tommys father that is killed by Hobbs (who later becomes his stepfather) in the heated bedroom confrontation. This change leads to another in that in the film, Tommys pinball gifts are exploited by his mother and step-father in order to reap financial gain that will allow them to live a life of excess and debauchery. (A theme perfectly realized during the scene where Ann-Margret drunkenly cavorts in a cascade of baked beans because she can. And yes, I said baked beans.) Another major change between the album and the film is that rather than having the original album tracks dubbed over the film, the songs were re-recorded by the actors and musicians playing in the film.
In one of the film's most pivotal scenes, Tommy is challenged to a pinball play-off by the reigning pinball champion, The Pinball Wizard (played by Elton John). In this scene, Elton John sings what is arguably the best known song from both the film and the original album, Pinball Wizard where he expresses his amazement at Tommy's pinball prowess and figuratively passes the crown of pinball king to him.
Sir Elton John as The Pinball Wizard.
The lyrics of the song (from which Veronica bogarted her catty description of Dicks latest conquest) are:
The Incredible, (In)Edible Egg (Referenced by Veronica, describing the plastic egg after Morty finds it.)
The American Egg Board (AEB) kicked off its "The Incredible Edible Egg" campaign in 1977, when egg cosumption had been on the decline for three decades. The industry wanted to promote eggs as part of a healthy and balanced diet. There has been and still is much confusion over the cholesterol content of eggs. There is dietary cholesterol, which is consumed through eggs, poultry, and meat, and then there's blood cholesterol that the body makes. And dietary cholesterol does not become blood cholesterol directly following consumption. Eggs are actually good for a heart-healthy diet.
Health professionals say that it's really high amounts of saturated fats in a person's diet that causes his or her blood cholesterol level to rise. But if you're worried about the cholesterol, eggs whites are fine because they don't contain cholesterol. And as with most foods, stay away from the fried eggs because some oils and butter have saturated fat.
Santa Fe (Referenced by Roger when he suggests to Keith that Selma's probably just out of town.)
Santa Fe is the capital and third largest city in New Mexico, with a population of about 70,631. Since 1598, Santa Fe de Nuevo Mxico had originally been a province of New Spain, but following the Mexican War of Independence in 1810 the area became part of the Mexican territory. In 1846 the United States declared war on Mexico and claimed all of the New Mexico Territory. New Mexico officially became part of the United States in 1848 through the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. New Mexico didn't become a state, however, until 1912, with Santa Fe as its capital.
At 6,989 feet above sea level, Santa Fe is the highest located capital city in the United States. The climate consists of warm summers and cool winters, and the average temperatures range from 14F to 86F, depending on the season. Most buildings in the city reflect a Spanish Pueblo Revival architectural style. A plan for a better downtown Santa Fe is currently in the works. Sculpture is very important to the city's character. There are many statues throughout the city of Saint Francis, who was the patron saint of animals. Understandably, there are also many statues of animals in the city.
Tourism is a big part of the economy. The annual Fiestas de Santa Fe festival attracts many visitors each September, which is also around the time when the aspens in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains change color due to the autumn season. The city also has a popular skiing area called Ski Santa Fe.
Fortune 500 (Referenced by Keith when he discusses Selma's business with Roger.)
A list ranking the top five hundred United States corporations as measured by gross revenue compiled and published annually by Fortune magazine. Fortune 500 companies are among the biggest, most profitable, and most powerful companies in America. Each entry includes rank, name of company, headquarters, last year's rank and gross revenue in billions of dollars. Fortune calculates revenue using publicly available data, therefore private companies (those whose stock is not traded on a public market) are excluded from the list. U.S. subsidiaries of foreign companies are also excluded.
Asia (Referenced by Roger when he tells Keith that their company sells merchandise manufactured there.)
Asia is the largest and most populous continent on the planet. It covers 8.6% of the Earth's total surface area, or 29.4% of its land area, and it contains more than 60% of the world's human population. Asia is traditionally defined as part of the landmass of Africa-Eurasia -- with the western portion of the latter occupied by Europe -- lying east of the Suez Canal, east of the Ural Mountains, and south of the Caucasus Mountains and the Caspian and Black Seas.
There is some argument as to whether Asia in and of itself is actually a continent or if it is more accurately a region of the Africa-Eurasia continent. The boundaries of Asia are generally determined by several geographic features. The demarcation between Asia and Africa is the Isthmus of Suez and the Red Sea, while the boundary between Asia and Europe is commonly considered to run through the Dardanelles, the Sea of Marmara, the Bosporus, the Black Sea, the Caucasus Mountains, the Caspian Sea, the Ural River to its source, and the Ural Mountains to the Kara Sea near Kara, Russia.
Generally, geologists and physical geographers do not consider Asia and Europe to be separate continents. Physiographically, Asia is the major eastern constituent of the continent of Eurasia -- with Europe being a northwestern peninsula of the landmass -- or of Africa-Eurasia: Geologically, Asia, Europe, and Africa comprise a single continuous landmass (save the Suez Canal) and share a common continental shelf. Almost all of Europe and most of Asia sit atop the Eurasian Plate, adjoined on the south by the Arabian and Indian Plates, and with much of Siberia situated on the North American Plate.
In geography, there are two schools of thought. One school follows historical convention and treats Europe and Asia as different continents, categorizing subregions within them for more detailed analysis. The other school equates the word "continent" with a geographical region when referring to Europe, and use the term "region" to describe Asia in terms of physiography. Since, in linguistic terms, "continent" implies a distinct landmass, it is becoming increasingly common to substitute the term "region" for "continent" to avoid the problem of disambiguation altogether.
Given the scope and diversity of the landmass, it is sometimes not even clear exactly what "Asia" consists of. Some definitions exclude Turkey, the Middle East, Central Asia and Russia while only considering the Far East, Southeast Asia and the Indian Subcontinent to compose Asia. The term is sometimes used more strictly in reference to the Asia-Pacific region, which does not include the Middle East or Russia, but does include islands in the Pacific Ocean -- a number of which may also be considered part of Australasia or Oceania although Pacific Islanders are commonly not considered Asian.
Scrabble (Referenced by Wallace when he and Veronica are looking at the travel-sized tiles that were found in the egg.)
Scrabble is the oh so popular game in which players form words using individually lettered tiles on a board. The words are formed vertically and horizontally, like in a crossword, and must appear in the standard dictionary. Each letter is worth a certain amount of points, and when placed in a word, the points are added up for a total score. The more common a letter is used in everyday English, the less points it's worth. The board is also marked with 'premium' squares, which allow a boost in the total points: double letter, triple word, etc. (Scrabble Gameboard Design)
China (Referenced by Veronica as she and Wallace discuss Chip and the egg.)
People's Republic of China, also known as China (or PRC), is a state in East Asia. China has a coastline of over nine thousand miles and borders, among other countries, Vietnam, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Russia and North Korea. A socialist republic, China's capital is in Beijing, Shanghai is the country's largest city. At almost four million square miles, China is the third largest country by area with a varied landscape of desert (in the north) and mountainous humidity (in the east) with drier climates in the west.
It is also the world's most populous nation, with over 1.3 billion citizens and borders the most countries in the world. China is the world's fourth largest economy and second largest at purchasing power parity (which is predicted to become the largest by 2020) and represents China as a permanent member of the UN Security Council and APEC. China is the third largest exporter and importer in the world. Due to its large and stable population, its rapidly growing economy (+9.4% annually) and military spending (~ $84.4 billion) and other capabilities, China is often considered by analysts and commentators as an emerging superpower (see also Chinese Century and Asian century).
Flag of the People's Republic of China; The National Emblem of the PRC.
The present day location of China was the birthplace of the Chinese civilization that dates back to at least 1700 BC. China was officially founded as a state in October 1, 1949, during the closing stages of the Chinese Civil War by its first President Mao Zedong along with the Constitution of the People's Republic of China.
swimfan (Referenced by Hallie when she describes to Veronica how Brandt feels about Budd.)
swimfan (no capitalization) is a 2002 psychotic thriller directed by John Polson and written by Charles F. Bohl and Phillip Schneider that stars Jesse Bradford, Erika Christensen and Shiri Appleby. The film is largely considered a Fatal Attraction for the teenage set.
Ben Cronin (Jesse Bradford) is a star swimmer in high-school who we are told once had a "drug problem" -- although the film never bothers to tell us exactly which drug he had issues with. Ben seems like a nice guy and a good kid. He does well in school, is dating a sweet girl named Amy Miller (Shiri Appleby) and in addition to his swimming commitment, also works at the local hospital with his mother. An aspiring Olympian, Ben is training to impress a scout coming to watch him from Stanford.
The film's tagline: "Obsession.
Betrayal. Revenge. Some girls have all
the fun."
One night in the pool, Ben is cornered and seduced by savvy and sexy (and as it turns out insane) transfer student Madison Bell (Erika Christensen). Ben, temporarily blinded by his hormones, thinks with the wrong head and indulges in an ill-advised one-night stand with Madison. In the light of day, Ben realizes his mistake and wants only to put it in the past. Unfortunately, Madison has other ideas. When Ben rejects her in favor of his girlfriend Amy, Madison becomes obsessed with him and turns his life into a living hell. I think there is a lesson to be learned here so I trust you all are paying close attention.
Jimmy (Hoffman) Hoffa (Referenced by Hallie sarcastically asking Veronica if she's going to ask her where he's buried.)
Alongside the death of Elvis and JFK and the grassy knoll, the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa is one of the more popular subjects of conspiracy theorists. Born on Valentine's Day in 1913, James Riddle "Jimmy" Hoffa was a noted American labor union leader, who began his activities in 1933 and continued through to 1967. In '67 he was convicted of attempted bribery of a grand juror and sentenced to fifteen years in prison. However, in 1971, Hoffa was released when Richard Nixon commuted his sentence to time served on the condition he not participate in union activities for ten years.
The union leader planned to sue to inviolate that condition, but on July 30, 1975, he disappeared from the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox Restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, at about 2:30 p.m. His fate is a mystery that continues to this day and one that theorists spin many hypotheses about, most revolving around mafia connections that Hoffa held.
Dustin (Hoffman) (Referenced by Veronica as a comeback to Hallie's Jimmy Hoffman reference.)
Dustin Hoffman, prominent American stage and screen actor, was born August 8, 1937, in Los Angeles. Hoffman studied music at the Santa Monica City College and from 1956 to 1958 acted at the Pasadena Playhouse. Moving to New York, he studied at the Actors' Studio, and started his career on Broadway. Later he amassed a wide range of movie roles. The list of the films he starred in is long and impressive, the most notable of which are The Graduate, Midnight Cowboy, All the President's Men, Kramer vs. Kramer (for which he won an Academy Award), Tootsie, Rain Man (his second Academy Award winning performance), Wag the Dog, Runaway Jury and more.
Some of his quotes, I am certain, Aaron Echolls would have found interesting: "If you have this enormous talent, it's got you by the balls, it's a demon. You can't be a family man and a husband and a caring person and be that animal. Dickens wasn't that nice a guy." Sounds like our favorite movie star and murderer. Then again, if that was his guide, I think Aaron grossly overestimated his own talent.
"Once you're a star you're dead already. You're embalmed" Now that is the truth. Sometimes in more ways than one.
Smithers / Monty Burns / The Simpsons (Referenced by Veronica describing to Keith the relationship between Brandt and Budd.)
Charles Montgomery Burns is Homer Simpson's boss and owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in Matt Groening's animated series The Simpsons. Burns is voiced by Harry Shearer, and his catchphrase is the word "Excellent" muttered in a low, sinister voice as he tents his fingertips.
Burns is a staunch Republican and was member #29 of the Stonecutters (who made Steve Guttenberg a star long before Veronica Mars did). After the Stonecutters embarrassing fall from grace, Burns and the other former Stonecutters (except Homer Simpson) went on to form the No-Homers Club. Mr. Burns' inability to remember Homer's name would suggest that he is in that club more for status rather than any lasting anti-Homer sentiment.
He is the richest man in town and is shadowed nearly at all times by his loyal Personal Assistant, confidant, and adoring henchman, Waylon Smithers, Jr. (also voiced by Harry Shearer). Smithers appears to de facto run much of the plant's day-to-day administration. Despite his position as the plant's Executive Administrator his main job is tending to Mr. Burns. In fact, TheSimpsons.com lists some of Smithers' responsibilities as: Squeezing juice for Mr. Burns every morning, tucking Mr. Burns in at night, moistening Mr. Burns' eyeballs, assisting Mr. Burns with chewing and swallowing, lying to congress, and some light typing.
Smithers and Mr. Burns -- partners in crime.
Smithers is a closeted homosexual who, much like Brant, is madly in love with his boss. Mr. Burns seems as oblivious as Budd Rose to his lackey's true feelings for him. Although there have been no episodes of hair stroking or teacup throwing in Smithers' long history with his beloved employer, there has definitely been evidence of "swimfanian" level obsession. In fact, I think it is safe to say that Smithers way out creeps Brant in the "secret love for my boss-a-thon." For example: Smithers periodically has somewhat disturbing fantasies about Mr. Burns (in "Rosebud", Burns pops nude out of a birthday cake and sings "Happy Birthday, Mr. Smithers") and when his computer is turned on, it features a nude Burns saying "Hello Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on" in Burns' edited-together voice clips. And thats only the tip of the iceberg.
Smithers also has a tattoo of himself and Burns on his chest, with the caption 'boss of my heart.' Smithers has openly declared his love for Burns at least twice, most dramatically in Lisa the Skeptic,> when, believing the world is coming to an end, Smithers says "Oh, what the hell!" and kisses him on the lips. When the world does not in fact end, Smithers explains the passionate embrace to his boss as "merely a sign of my respect." If you interchange Brant and Mr. Rose for Smithers and Mr. Burns in any of these scenarios, they go from funny to uber squick-worthy in a nanosecond so I think everyone should be highly grateful that Brant has kept his displays of obsessive affection for Budd to a respectable minimum.
Disneyland (Referenced by Veronica joking to Keith their break-in is just like one of their trips.)
Disneyland Park, formerly referred to simply as Disneyland from 1955-1998, is a theme park at Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California -- a mere twenty-eight miles from Downtown Los Angeles. Owned and operated by The Walt Disney Company, The Magic Kingdom of Disneyland has become one of the most famous places on Earth.
Next to sister theme park Disney World Resort in Florida, Disneyland is the most popular theme park in the world based on the total number of visitors. More than five hundred million "guests," among them presidents, royalty, and other heads of state, have traveled to the park from around the world since the attraction first opened to guests in 1955. A worldwide celebration in commemoration of Disneyland's 50th anniversary began on May 5, 2005 and concluded on September 30, 2006.
Sleeping Beauty's castle during the 50th
Anniversary celebration.
The park was the brain child of Walt Disney himself. Walt's original concept was of a permanent family fun park without the negative element that traveling carnivals or fairs often attracted. He developed the idea during his many outings with his two daughters when he realized that there were no parks with activities that adults and children could enjoy together.
While many people had written letters to Walt Disney about visiting the Disney Studio lot and meeting their favorite Disney character, Walt realized that a functional movie studio had little to offer to the visiting fan. He then began to foster ideas of building a site at or near his Burbank studios for tourists to visit and perhaps take pictures with Disney characters set in statue form. This basic idea, once known as "Mickey Mouse Park," evolved into a small play park with a boat ride and several other themed areas. Walt's initial concept grew bigger and bigger into a concept for a larger enterprise which was to become Disneyland.
Disney's original modest plans called for the park to be built on eight acres on Riverside Drive next to the Disney Studios in Burbank, California as a place where his employees and families could go to relax. Early in development, during the early 1950's, it became clear that more area would be needed. On the suggestion of researchers at Stanford Research Institute who correctly envisioned the area's potential growth, Disney acquired one hundred and sixty acres of orange groves and walnut trees in Anaheim, south of Los Angeles in neighboring Orange County. Construction began on July 18, 1954 and would cost $17 million to complete.
The gates opened to thousands of eager visitors, celebrities, VIP's and Disney Studios staff members on July 17, 1955. In his dedication speech, Walt encapsulated his vision and his hope for the park when he said:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs / Sneezy (Referenced by Veronica joking about the Mars family fighting with them at Disneyland.)
Originating as a character in one of the Brothers Grimms' Fairy Tales, most are more familiar with Walt Disney's classic animated musical film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Premiering on December 21, 1937, with a running time of eighty-three minutes, it was the first feature-length animated film in history. During its nearly four years of production time, the film was dubbed "Disney's Folly," as no one expected people to sit and watch a cartoon of that length. Also, although originally budgeted for $250,000, the costs soared to $1.75 million, making this a risky venture indeed. Disney's gamble paid off, however, as the film was not only a critical success, but its original worldwide gross of $8.5 million made it the highest-grossing film of its time, until Gone with the Wind surpassed it a few years later.
Including many memorable songs, such as "Heigh Ho," "Whistle While You Work," and "Someday My Prince Will Come," the story of the film is that of a beautiful princess reviled by her vain, jealous stepmother, who realizes she can never be "the fairest in the land" as long as Snow White is around. The evil Queen orders her Huntsman to kill Snow White and bring back her heart as proof the deed was done. When the time comes, the Huntsman is unable to kill such an innocent girl, so he tells her to flee into the forest and lies to the Queen that Snow White is dead.
The animals of the forest lead Snow White to a cottage where she meets seven dwarfs who work in a nearby diamond mine. The aptly named dwarfs are called Bashful, Doc, Dopey (originally named Deafy), Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy and Sneezy -- who, predictably, sneezes a lot. They give her shelter, and she assumes a motherly role in their home. When the Queen discovers that Snow White is still alive, she transforms herself into an old hag and offers the trusting girl a poisoned apple, causing her to fall into a sleeping death. As the dwarfs mourn the loss of their friend, Prince Charming arrives and awakens her with "love's first kiss."
The Bionic Woman (Referenced by Veronica's impression as she jumps down from the fence.)
The television series The Bionic Woman revolved around the adventures of Jaime Sommers. The series ran for a total of fifty eight episodes, airing on ABC from 1976-1977 and on NBC from 1977-1978. It starred Lindsay Wagner (Jaime Sommers), Richard Anderson (Oscar Goldman), Martin E. Brooks (Dr. Rudy Wells) and Jennifer Darling (Peggy Callahan).
Jaime Sommers was first introduced in 1975, in The Six Million Dollar Man's two-part episode "The Bionic Woman." Steve Austin (Lee Majors), the title character of that series, returned to his hometown of Ojai, where he rekindled an old romance with tennis pro, Jaime Sommers. They planned to marry, but during a sky diving trip, Jaime was seriously injured, suffering traumatic damage to her legs, right arm and head. Steve pleaded with his boss, Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson), to have Dr. Rudy Wells and his bionics team "rebuild" her with cybernetic limbs the way he himself had been rebuilt after he had been similarly injured. By doing this, he committed her to employment as an operative of the OSI. The operation went ahead and Jaime received two bionic legs, a bionic arm and her right ear was implanted with a bionic device. On her first mission, however, it became apparent that Jaime's body was rejecting the implants and after collapsing, she died on the operating table. Or so Steve thought.
ABC, however, recognized the character's popularity and requested that the writers find a way to bring Jaime back for a spin-off series. Steve Austin eventually discovered that Jaime had been placed in cryogenic suspended animation so that one day the doctors could attempt to remove the cerebral clot that had developed as a result of the implants. The surgery took place; Jaime conveniently developed amnesia and no longer remembered her love for Steve. This freed her up for her own series, The Bionic Woman.
Jaime took a job as a schoolteacher by day and an OSI operative by night. She went on many undercover missions that inevitably placed her in dangerous situations where she would use her bionic abilities to escape. Jaime could run at a speed of sixty miles per hour, bend steel bars with her right arm and hear a whisper from a mile away. She could also jump to and from great heights. The scenes of her bionic abilities were usually accompanied by slow-motion video and "na-na-na-na-na" type mechanical sound effects. Jaime would work on missions with Steve Austin from time to time, and in the process their friendship was rebuilt.
When The Six Million Dollar Man was canceled in 1978, so was The Bionic Woman. However, the characters returned in three made-for-television movies, in which Jaime and Steve rediscovered their romantic relationship: The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987), Bionic Showdown: The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1989) and Bionic Ever After? (1994), which culminated with the couple's marriage.
"Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose (walrus) out front shoulda told ya." / National Lampoon's Vacation (Referenced by Veronica joking to Keith from behind the fence.)
National Lampoon's Vacation is a 1983 comedy starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Anthony Michael Hall and Randy Quaid. The film was directed by Harold Remis and the screenplay was written by John Hughes, who supposedly based the script off his own childhood experience at Disneyland. The movie was a box office hit, earning at least $61 million in the United States. It was named one of the Bravo's 100 Funniest Movies.
The premise is that Clark Griswold (Chase), his wife, Ellen, (D'Angelo) and their their two children leave Chicago for a cross-country journey to Walley World, an amusement park in California. Hilarity ensues. They decide to first drive to Kansas, where their hillbilly cousin Eddie (Quaid) and aunt Edna live. The family also agrees to give Edna a lift to Phoenix, but she dies along the way and they have to find a way to get rid of the body. Supermodel Christie Brinkley also makes an appearance as a sexy swimmer and seductress of Clark Griswold.
When the family finally arrives at Walley World, they find that the park has been closed down for two weeks due to renovations -- hence the line "Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya." But will the Griswolds let the closed park deter them from having the fun vacation that Clark promised them?
Ryan and Tatum (O'Neal) / Paper Moon (Referenced by Veronica explaining to Selma about her working relationship with Keith.)
The film Veronica references was based on Joe David Brown's novel Addie Pray and released in 1973. Set during the Depression era, Paper Moon stars Ryan O'Neal as Moses Pray, a con artist who pretends to be a Bible salesman, and (his real life daughter) Tatum O'Neal as Addie, an orphan he picked up after a family funeral who turns out to be the daughter he never knew.
Tatum, and father, Ryan, O'Neal
Together they travel the Midwestern countryside and con the good citizens out of their money. Addie helps Moses gain trust and pity of the unsuspecting marks, and generally turns out to be a better grifter than him.
In 1974, Tatum O'Neal won the Academy Award for the part, becoming, at the age eleven, the youngest Oscar winner in history. Director Peter Bogdanovich banked on the strong, sparkling, winning father-daughter chemistry between the two O'Neals, and they didn't disappoint. A fact which, I am certain, Veronica alludes to when she explains to Selma Rose the dynamic between herself and Keith: "When he gets in a jam, I make with the cute."
The reference is as precious as it is misleading. As sweet and subtle as the relationship between Moses Pray and Addie is, it's riddled with lies, cynicism, equal self-interest on both sides and manipulation. All of which even the strong, developing affection cannot quite temper. Then again, Keith and Veronicas relationship these days is nothing if not loaded. So, perhaps, the parallel is warranted on more than superficially cutesy level. However, considering the fact that, in her autobiography called A Paper Life, Tatum O'Neal alleged that she has been physically and emotionally abused by her father (which she attributed to his drug use), I think Veronica would have judged better if she compared her relationship with her dad to some other, less controversial father/daughter duo.
You've Got a Friend (Referenced by Veronica as she quotes the song to Wallace.)
Written and performed by Carole King in 1971 on her album Tapestry, "You've Got a Friend" gained more popularity and achieved #1 hit status when released by James Taylor on his 1971 album Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon. Both Taylor and King won Grammy Awards for the song, for Best Pop Vocal Performance, Male and Song of the Year, respectively.
The song has been covered by many artists since, in various musical genres, such as Country, R&B, Jazz and even Reggae. The many singers who have released their own recording of the song include: Lynn Anderson, Jimmy Cliff, Petula Clark, Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand, Michael Jackson and Tom Jones.
Lyrics:
Ah, fraternity humor! Theres nothing like its sophistication and wit! And look how it can turn a sweet childrens Easter song into an instant stomach-turning classic of truly "repangent" proportions (as Dick would say) by performing it to mock a rape victim!
The name "Peter Cottontail" is a combination of the names of two Beatrix Potter story characters, Cottontail and Peter Rabbit, from the story "The Tale of Peter Rabbit." The song was written by Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins.
Cavalry (Referenced by Selma's description of Keith and Cyrus.)
Known as rescuers and shining beacons of heroic charge, the cavalry are soldiers or warriors who fought mounted on horseback. From earliest times cavalry had the advantage of improved mobility, an "instrument which multiplied the fighting value of even the smallest forces, allowing them to outflank and avoid, to surprise and overpower, to retreat and escape according to the requirements of the moment." A man fighting from horseback also had the advantage of height, speed and weight over an opponent on foot.
Anna Nicole [Smith] (Referenced by Veronica's conversation with Hallie about her relationship with the much older Budd.)
Ahh, where does one begin with Anna Nicole Smith? This American topless dancer/model"actress and celebrity mother/who-knows-what's-next first became popular when she was named Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Year in 1993. In 1994, Anna Nicole was twenty-six when she married eighty-nine year old J. Howard Marshall, a billionaire in the oil business. Following Marshall's death in 1995, Smith began an ongoing battle with his son E. Pierce Marshall for half of her husband's $1.6 billion estate. Golddigger? No. In the 2006 Supreme Court case Marshall v. Marshall, the Court ruled in favor of Smith on May 1, 2006. E. Pierce Marshall died on June 20.
Smith's career has suffered in recent years due to her weight gain, and her reality sitcom was canceled after two seasons in early 2004 because of low ratings and "creative differences" between herself and her producers. In 2003, she began losing weight and since then has endorsed the weight loss pill TrimSpa in a number of commercials. You might recall the phrase "TrimSpa, Baby!"
Anna Nicole has a daughter, Dannielynn, who was born on June 1, 2006. On September 10, her 20 year old son Daniel Wayne died unexpectedly from a combination of Zoloft, Lexapro, and methadone.
Ron Jeremy (Referenced by Veronica's conversation with Hallie about her relationship with Budd.)
Ronald Jeremy Hyatt (stage name Ron Jeremy) was born in Queens, New York, on March 12, 1953. He is a well-known American porn star and director. When he started his career in the porn business, he abbreviated his name by dropping the Hyatt, because his father requested it. Considering what junior does for a living, I don't blame the dad.
He is often referred to as "the clown prince of porn" for his comic timing (yes, the guy apparently can act. Stop laughing!). His other nickname is "The Hedgehog," due to his hairy genitalia, and, oh, his penis is apparently 9.75 inches in length. And yes, Veronica, we know you don't care that Budd may be "Ron Jeremy on wheels," but still, youve got to admit thats rather impressive.
You Sexy Thing!
Here are but a few fun facts about Ron:
- Hey! Look at that! Veronica found her pajamas with long sleeves and track pants again! *gasp* I thought that's what she usually wore.
- Yet another quasi-sad Logan-at-the-door scene.
- Logan's black, long-sleeved shirt with white stitches looked a lot like the black, long sleeved shirt with white stitches that Veronica wore in season one. I would have liked to see them match wardrobes with those shirts. Hee.
- Jason Dohring's delivery of the line: "Yeah? You might want to start." Pitch perfect and dark enough that I wondered if he was considering throwing a lamp at Keith Mars ... and thus hot-footed it out of there. Great line.
- The smoke machines making fog as Veronica walks alone at night ... gives Veronica's oh-my-the-rapist-is-following-me a nice Scooby Doo feel.
- Keith's reaction to Selma's question about whether he knew what it was like to be a walking punch line, on a national scale. Heh.
- According to writer Diane Ruggiero's podcast of this episode, the dance that Veronica did before Dick that was considered incomprehensible by many was apparently ad-libbed by Kristen Bell. Ooo-kay.
- The look on Lamb's face when he realized he was talking to Veronica on the phone and not Ms. Vasquez. Could he have hung up any faster? Hee!
- Hee! Veronica saved her BFF from getting beaten up by using her trusty taser ... now what does that remind me of? It's true love, I tell you.
- Logan's huge bodyguard picking Veronica up and carrying her away from the fight scene. LOL He looked like he could flick her across the room with his pinky finger. Funny.
- Just before Veronica comes into his room, Logan is watching some sort of sports related programming. For some reason this really makes me want to watch a big game with Logan. I think he would be great fun.
- Veronica's Bionic Woman-esque "Shanananananana" noise after successfully scaling the wall at the Rose estate.
- Veronica's bow after successfully opening the gate at the Rose estate.
- The way the music in the episode's final scene perfectly underscores Logan's emotional pain. As Logan watches Veronica ignore his call M. Ward sings "I want it all." As she sits a table to eat alone, the song continues "I hope, I hope, I hope you know what I'm thinking of." and as we pan back to a heartbroken, lonely Logan separated from the girl he loves by feet that might as well be miles, M. Ward croons "I want all of your love."
- A plastic egg placed where the sun don't shine? Censors didn't have a problem with this? (But they did with a same-sex kiss between Selma and Hallie? Uh, okay.)
- When did Keith start taking oblivious pills to compensate for the fact that he can't control Veronica's compulsive lying? How could he possibly not be worried after Logan carried Veronica into their apartment drugged up on GHB and unconscious? Has he been taking sedatives and has suddenly mellowed out his protective streak? Or is he just overcompensating so they don't fight like last week? Bizarre.
- On that note, why are Keith and Veronica acting as if they don't have a care in the world and/or no problems with each other? He gave up the woman he's fallen for. Veronica was attacked. Her attacker's still at large. Keith still has the Fitzpatrics pissed at him, and, unless he paid off Vinnie, Harmony's husband as well. Have they both suffered from amnesia?
- When did Hearst have a riot? Did I miss that?
- So the Dean thinks that Lamb is so incompetent that he decides to hire Keith to find Selma instead of letting the authorities handle it -- but he still thinks Lamb is capable enough to continue handling the investigation of the serial rapes on the campus? Why hasn't the Dean hired Keith (who's intelligence ranks quite a bit higher than that of your average grilled cheese) to find the rapist?
- Waitresses and waiters normally have to have a conservative appearance so they don't stand out and up-tight guests don't get upset. Especially at the kind of event Veronica was attending. So ... how was Fern hired as a waitress for that catering group? Does she have to take her nose ring out while she works? How come Veronica didn't see her there?
- Since when does Veronica understand and even share Dick's love of inappropriate jokes on the subject of rape?
- Seriously, why is Veronica suddenly so glib about rape? Wasn't she the girl who said to Lamb only two episodes ago: "Rape humor: never gets old?" All of a sudden rape humor is hysterical to her? What?!
- Dick's wearing argyle now? Why couldn't Duncan take his fashion taste with him when he left Neptune?
- What was up with Veronica's pinball dance mocking Dick? Weird.
- What is up with Veronica suddenly making nice with her usual hate subjects? The last two episodes it was Lamb. This week it's Dick.
- Since when is Wallace Veronica's "numbers guy?" Wasn't she the one taking AP classes and heading toward valedictorian spot? While Wallace barely took passes? What gives?
- Is the address Keith gives Veronica for Hallie the address of the Zeta Theta house or of her parent's home? And if it's her parent's home, it appears that Hallie was an '09er. So how is it possible that Veronica didn't know Hallie at all -- even superficially -- before attending Hearst? If it is the Zeta Theta house address, does that mean that the '09er zip code encompasses an area large enough to hold a multitude of mansions AND an entire University? And lastly, if Hallie IS an '09er by birth, why does she need a job as a grossly-overpaid dog walker?
- Did Hearst decide to dispose of their security entirely after the Rent-a-Cop fiasco? Because, once again, it looks like there's no one there on campus to protect the students and control the potentially explosive situations. A semi-naked, shaved, unconscious and assaulted student just happen to lie there on the loan until some other student trips over him in broad daylight. And gleefully takes a picture. Fights break out spontaneously in the cafeteria and no one breaks them up but students with taser guns and outsider bodyguards. Safe rides don't seem safe at all and drop their charges in deserted dark places. In fact, most of the campus appears dark when Veronica goes sleuthing there this episode. And while Dean is sitting there and lamenting the state of things and bad publicity to a lone PI he just met recently, does anyone actually care about the campus safety? Worst. College. Ever. LOL.
- Does Lamb not have caller ID on his phone? One would think he'd have noticed the call was from the Mars residence instead of Martina Vasquez. Then again, he may have been too busy staring at Vasquez's photo to notice.
- So did Chip report his assault? From Dick's comments about the frat brothers having to remove the egg, it seems that he didn't seek medical attention. Plus, the egg was thrown in the trash instead of being taken in as evidence. Did he not report it because he was embarrassed? Or did his attacker(s) threaten to expose some of his own dirty secrets if he came forward?
- So is Chip a senior? Exactly how long has he been studying at Hearst if he was there three years ago with enough seniority in the Pi Sigs to be a leading member of the Pi Sig taunting of Patrice?
- Did Hallie's "you're blocking my sun" and Veronica's retort that she didn't know the sun belonged to Hallie, remind anyone of all Veronica's Lilly-murder fantasies? She imagined Lilly saying 'you're blocking my sun' to most of the Kanes in the death fantasies, was Lilly similarly shallow in Veronica's mind? She always had Lilly acting like a bit of a trashy bitch in the imagined circumstances of her death - planning to release the tapes being another example, I always found that odd.
- Are all the feminazis seniors too if they all remember what happened to Claire three years ago? If that's what happens to ever feminist that studies at Hearst, I'd really like Veronica to transfer before she goes psychotic.
- Were Nish, Claire and Fern actually responsible for Chip's attack? The motivation is there, but they didn't actually admit to it and Veronica has no evidence, circumstantial or otherwise, to take to the authorities, even if this crime had been reported. Are they actually guilty of any crimes other than Claire's false rape report? And shouldn't Claire be getting into some legal trouble for that, beyond getting kicked out of school?
- When did Logan hire the bodyguard? He said it was after Veronica refused to give in to his demands that she quit investigating anything, but then just a few hours later that same night she thought someone was following her on campus. That seems far too little time to hire someone and get them on the job. So was it the bodyguard she was hearing? Did Logan hire him before the argument? Or was it someone else? An innocent bystander, like the janitor in the library? Veronica's imagination? The rapist?
- While there are many speculations as to why Veronica didn't (again!) answer Logan's call after all of the "I love you's" and "we are okay's," what interests me is why did Logan call her on the phone when he could see her clearly. Why not just approach and talk to her in person? A lot harder to avoid you if you confront someone face to face. So, did he not see her in the cafeteria initially and only spotted her after dialing her number, or was he testing her in some way? Or thinking they were okay ... trying to play a cute little game with her?
- Was Logan feeling that old, familiar, Lilly-esque "I knew it was over" sensation when he watched Veronica ignore his call?
- Although we know that Dawn, Stacy and Parker were raped (being as we were "there" for the last two, and Veronica's discussion with the first), it's still open to interpretation as to whether all of the other victims, aside from Claire, were "victims" or not (thanks, feminazi's).
holly96 (Holly): Yearbook; Homeroom
genova (Cara): Extra Credit; Literature; Social Science
JaneDtwo: Literature; Social Science; Philosophy
JenniferH: Report Card; Drama Club; Chemistry; Band Class; Social Science; Homeroom; Detention; Principles of Democracy
Pixigal (Gerrie): Drama Club
PolarTruckin (Belinda): Literature; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
SeluciaV (Alli): Journalism; Study Hall; Literature; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
Tar Frimmer (Joanne): Literature; Social Science
Original Air Date: November 21, 2006
Written by: Diane Ruggerio
Directed by: Steve Gomer
Staff Grade: B-
Membership Median Grade: B
An uneven script with faulty characterization (Veronica telling rape jokes? Keith unconcerned over last week's events?), this episode gives us a convoluted twist in the rape mystery, but it is, alas, as repugnant as has been most of this arc. On the plus side, there is Wallace, there is not Piz. Dick is amusing, even if he remains a disgusting human being and Veronica no longer appears to have a problem with this fact. And finally, while incredibly painful, there is also brilliant writing and acting in the other continuing arc: The relationship of Logan and Veronica as it falls apart. Surface funnies, surface cool twists -- with disturbing undercurrents derived from lax and irresponsible writing -- alongside a devastating, yet well-handled Logan/Veronica arc result in a mix of great, good and bad.
Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Julie Gonzalo - Parker Lee
Chris Lowell - Stosh "Piz" Piznarski
Tina Majorino - Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Ed Begley Jr. - Cyrus O'Dell
Chastity Dotson - Nish
Cher Ferreyra - Fern
Brandon Hillock - Deputy Sacks
Krista Kalmus - Claire Nordhouse
Keri Lynn Pratt - Hallie Piatt
David Tom - Chip Diller
Guest Stars
Carlee Avers - Bonnie Capistrano
Patty Hearst - Selma Hearst Rose
Brian Kimmet - Brant
Michael Charles Roman - Wilson Behan
Charles Shaugnessy - Budd Rose
Alan F. Smith - Roger Hearst
Who's Who in Neptune
Bonnie Capistrano - Hearst co-ed who slept with Dick, but also slept with another frat guy, lessening her value in the Pi Sig's Sex Quest '06.
Selma Hearst Rose - Hearst alumnus and member of the board of trustees. Also granddaughter of the school's founder and heir to the Hearstmart fortune. Married to Budd Rose.
Brant - Budd Rose's uppity and overprotective personal assistant.
Wilson Behan - Nish's replacement as editor of the Hearst Free Press, brings Veronica back in as a photographer.
Budd Rose - Selma Hearst Rose's husband. Was in an accident that put him in a wheelchair.
Roger Hearst - Selma Hearst Rose's brother who flew in when she went missing in order to take care of the business.
Hey! It's That Guy/Girl
Patty Hearst (Selma Hearst Rose) - Now known as Patricia Hearst Shaw, Patty is the granddaughter of newspaper and publishing magnate William Randolph Hearst. As heir to the family fortune, she became famous in 1974 when, at the age of nineteen, she was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA). The SLA, an urban guerilla group, attempted to trade Hearst for jailed SLA members, but made ransom demands when that failed. The Hearst family subsequently donated $6 million worth of food to the poor of the Bay Area, but Hearst was still not released. She was later photographed holding an assault rifle while robbing a bank in San Francisco, and communication from her, issued under the pseudonym Tania, contended that she was devoted to the goals of the SLA. She was arrested in September 1975 along with other SLA members. At her trial Hearst claimed that she had been physically and sexually abused which attributed to he mental strong-arming her into joining the group. Her defense claimed that she had been brainwashed, while some see her actions as a result of the Stockholm syndrome. Hearst also claimed that she was been forced into her part of the bank robbery. A fairly weak defense led to a conviction on March 20, 1976, and she was sentenced to seven years in prison. President Jimmy Carter commuted her term and she was released in February 1979. She was granted a full pardon in 2001 by President Bill Clinton.
Hearst later married her former bodyguard, Bernard Shaw, and lives with her husband and two daughters in Connecticut. She made her acting debut playing a small role in John Waters's film Cry-Baby. Waters has used Hearst in a number of his other films, and she has also made appearances in a handful of other films and television shows.
Although she was not playing herself in Lord of the Pi's, Hearst's real life was alluded to in a number of ways beyond the Hearst name. Most amusingly is the name "Selma," which likely comes from Marge Simpson's sisters, Patty and Selma, on The Simpsons. The most obvious similarity, of course, is that like Hearst, Selma Hearst Rose was an heiress to a fortune and had been the center of a national scandal in the past (a similarity that was not-so-subtlely referenced when Selma asks Keith if he knows what that's like). The other obvious similarity was that both the actress and the character had been kidnapped (though, of course, Selma's "kidnapping" turned out not to be real). There is also a very subtle reference in the name of Selma's husband, Budd Rose: "Rosebud" was the key phrase in the film Citizen Kane, which was based on Hearst's grandfather, William Randolph Hearst.
Charles Shaughnessy (Budd Rose) - Charles Shaughnessy has appeared in a number of television series and made-for-tv movies, as well as in a long-term role as popular superspy, Shane Donovan on the NBC soap opera, Days of Our Lives. However, he is best known for his starring role on The Nanny, which ran on CBS from 1993 through 1999. For six seasons Shaughnessy played Maxwell Sheffield, a wealthy British widower and Broadway producer who hires Fran Fine (played by series creator/star Fran Drescher), a cosmetics saleswoman, to be the nanny to his three children. By the end of the series Sheffield and Nanny Fine were married and had two children, twins, of their own.
In The King and I, Anna sings:
- Shall we dance? On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Shall we dance? Shall we then say "Goodnight and mean "Goodbye?"
Or perchance, when the last little star has left the sky,
Shall we still be together with our arms around each other
And shall you be my new romance?
On the clear understanding that this kind of thing can happen,
Shall we dance? Shall we dance? Shall we Dance?"
Highlights
Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls) - In a layered, commanding performance Dohring showed us once again why he is one of the finest actors on television today. The chemistry analysis takes you step by step through Logan's emotions and feelings and he sells each one of these points with his usual perfection. But ultimately this episode comes down to one scene, one face that shatters your heart and breaks it into a million tiny pieces. Without saying a word, you are left breathless and gasping with pain. Standing ovation ... once I pick my sobbing, broken body up off of the floor.
Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) - Bell brings her A game this week as well, and is a worthy acting partner to Dohring. Showing layers and subtext that enhance and help explain an unlikeable performance, Kristen shines when she gives viewers a glimpse of Veronica's vulnerability. Although, the non LoVe scenes were baffling to some, the blame can be attributed to the script with Bell doing her darndest to try and make it work. Perhaps the mania and hyperactivity were a bit over the top, but because she was so on during the LoVe scenes, I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt -- the only way she felt Veronica made sense throughout the highs and lows and flip-flops of the episode was to play her on overdrive.
Lowlights
Patty Hearst (Selma Hearst Rose) - Ah sweeps week bringing with it the possibility of character death, outrageous plots and the oh so popular stunt casting. In a role seemingly tailor-made for her, Patty Hearst assumes the stunt casting of the week role and portrays a missing heiress. Unfortunately, publicity value aside, Hearst delivers a bland, boring performance that left viewers yawning. In an already convoluted mystery of the week, Hearst added little to the suspense and instead had most people saying "Hey isn't that the guy from The Nanny as her husband?"
From a cerebral point of view, I very much enjoyed all of the Logan/Veronica scenes for one simple reason. They made sense; I understood exactly why Logan did everything that he did -- as heavy-handed as his actions were, just as I understood exactly where Veronica was coming from -- as seemingly cruel as her actions were. Honestly, I'm in a very good place right now (character-motivation-wise) with both Logan and Veronica. Again, from a non-emotional point of view ... the arc of this episode? I liked. This may come as a surprise and cause quite a few reactions of "yeah, right!", but really, I'm not horribly biased against Veronica and towards Logan like it, no doubt, seems pretty much all of the time. I just need to understand the motivation for stupid things they do. If they do stupid stuff, I can deal, but I need to buy and understand their motivation. And unfortunately, more often than not from season two on, I've been able to buy the motivation behind Logan's actions due to the layers and subtext that Jason Dohring continually adds, which was missing, in my opinion, from a lot of Kristen Bell's performances last season and in a few episodes this season. However, I saw layers, I read subtext and I was happy with the execution of what we got ... if not the results.
Now do I like this arc? No. Do I wish Rob Thomas would take his head out of his ass and write a heroine who is tough, unethical, snotty, sarcastic and yet still likeable as he did in season one? Of course. Do I like that Veronica, no doubt, broke Logan's heart into a million little pieces in that last scene? No. But the fact of the matter is that Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell spent last season giving us a Veronica who -- for the most part -- didn't appear to even care about Logan. Now, by showing hints of that mixed in with genuine -- albeit, confused -- love on her part, paired with the possibility of this actually leading somewhere, it may be the only way that Thomas can come up with to make her season two attitude towards Logan work. I don't know if that is truly possible, but if this all plays out with logical, character motivation intact, then it does give the Veronica/Logan arc of season one to season two to what we're seeing this season a semblance of making sense. And that will make me very, very happy.
On with the analysis....
Scene One: The Girl Who Avoids ... The Boy Who Confronts
In a line that was almost lost in the intensity of the rest of this scene, Veronica sadly proved my analysis from last week when placed in conjunction with her interaction with Keith. I wrote:
Quote:And that's exactly what we got here. Everything was portrayed as fine and dandy with Veronica and Keith (to an absurd degree -- but that's for a different analysis), while the tension was still there between Logan and Veronica. And here's where we come to that line: Reminding Logan about Mercer and his "Mexican" alibi in a bratty tone of voice. If I put aside how very wrong I believe Veronica handled things last week and just accept that she has her point of view and go with it, then this tone of voice and attitude IS in character and does continue the arc that has been building through the course of the season.
... nothing sticks with Veronica. It doesn't matter what anybody does, once Veronica makes up her mind about them, her opinion doesn't change. She may be dating Logan -- hell, she's sleeping with him -- but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't trust him and he's always, *always* guilty until proven innocent. Just like Duncan's actions didn't change her opinion of him and Keith's actions won't change her opinion of him come the next episode. Once she makes up her mind about someone -- that's it. It's all fine and dandy for Keith, because I'm sure she'll just go back to loving and adoring him unabashedly, but for Logan it'll be back to the same 'guilty until proven' innocent treatment.
Yes, he rescued her -- but it's not enough. She's still upset with him and very well may have been avoiding his phone calls deliberately. Do I think she was? Yes, I do. Not just because of the last scene, but because she was clearly still upset here -- it was there to read in her body language, facial expression and tone of voice -- and when Veronica is upset and not ready to deal with any given situation, she avoids. That's Veronica. And it is something about her that Logan is well-aware of and seemingly accepts for the most part. So, I felt for where Veronica was coming from. She is still upset, but she doesn't want to fight with him, she's trying to get her bearings and he's not giving her the space she needs. Is she right to not tell him how she's really feeling? No, absolutely not and I have no doubt it will come back and bite her in the ass. However, I understand WHY she's playing the avoidance game. Character motivation I can understand -- if not like -- is a very, very good thing in my book.
As for Logan ... well, his laying down the law edict was out of line and out of place. First of all, it doesn't matter how much he loves her or how scared he is, he had no right to order her to do anything. It shows an unwarranted lack of respect for her. It is her life and she has the right to live it with as much stupidity and risk as she wants. He could have spoken to Keith or Wallace or Mac or all three and have each approach her, together or separately. He could have tried talking to her softly, sincerely, explaining his concerns, offered to bodyguard her himself, but to take that tone with her ... I completely understood and identified with her "okay, now you're pissing me off." He had no right; none whatsoever.
However, that didn't stop me from agreeing with every word he said to her ... because someone had to! And it didn't stop my very 80's "buuuurn" when Logan -- his voice filled with restrained anger -- told Keith that maybe he should start yelling at Veronica. Why? Because he was right; again ... someone has to. Someone needs to keep Veronica in line. The girl has almost been killed twice and was just attacked. Keith is her father -- the one person whom she generally respects and admires -- and he may be the only person who can get her to take a step back and realize she needs to take better care of herself. Logan simply cannot be that person because there is still a wall around her heart where he is concerned. Keith is the only person that Veronica has allowed herself to love completely since Lilly's death; thus he is the only one who might be able to get past that wall. So bad call on how Logan played that. Very bad call. Yet, it's a call I understand him making ... just as I understand why Veronica was not very happy with him. Motivation that makes sense? Yay.
Scene Two: Does She Love Him? ... Yeah.
Veronica had every right to tear into Logan. EVERY RIGHT. If he wanted to hire her a bodyguard, that's groovy, but he needed to tell her! By not telling her, it became about more than just his fear for her safety and desire to protect her ... it was a power play. She told him to piss off, so fine, he pissed off and in response, played his move and it wasn't fair and it wasn't right and it is NOT how you conduct a relationship. The problem, however, is that Veronica has driven him to this point. Instead of talking to him when there is a problem, she avoids him. Instead of dealing head-on with the issues of trust at the heart of their relationship, she's chooses not to deal at all and that doesn't work with Logan like it did with Duncan (and Troy ... and Leo) because Logan does not resemble an ostrich in any way, shape or form. He does not ignore, avoid, or pretend everything is surface wonderful. That is not how he operates and she knows this, but continually refuses to adjust her relationship pattern to acknowledge it. And that is NOT how you conduct a relationship.
Two key points of a healthy relationship are communication and compromise -- both Logan and Veronica show a lack of success in the former, but Logan has been busting his ass on the latter and Veronica? Well, Veronica has been busting his ass despite his attempts and other than choosing to not track his car, has not even tried. This would be another sign that one has difficulty in conducting a relationship.
So then ... here comes the million dollar question: Do they love each other? Absolutely. However, they do not trust each other ... AT ALL. The only difference in their trust issues is that whereas Logan wants to trust Veronica, most of the time it appears as if Veronica doesn't even seem to think that she needs to. And she does. But she doesn't. And that brings us to Logan's question. I have read in so many places from so many different people that Veronica's answer and how she answered made it clear that, no, she does not love him. I have to say that this is one time where I am extremely thrilled to disagree with the majority. My read on that "yeah" was that she does, absolutely, love him. And it scares her senseless.
When Logan asked her, I think she paused because (a) it was the first time the question had been posed to her, period, not just about Logan, but about anyone since Lilly died and (b) I believe it was the first time she had ever even thought of whether she loved him or not. Also, based on her expression, I got the vibe that when Logan told her he loved her, it was the first time that he had done so since the summer before in the infamous X-Terra (sniff) shoot-out. So he opened a door that, I believe, had been closed for quite some time and then on top of that, he pulled her through it. And that is why I think we got the pause. She was thinking about it, not because she doesn't ... but because of their history, because of that wall and because she was asking herself the question for the first time. And her answer? "Yeah." Said with tears shimmering in her eyes, and a tinge of shock because I think she was more surprised by her answer than Logan was (and check out his reaction, he was a little surprised too). I think she's told herself without actually doing so that Logan is her "right now" boyfriend. What she shares with him is so different, so intense from the one relationship in which she believed she loved the guy -- with Logan, it's not easy, it's complicated and messy and passionate and it is work. So in that pause, she wasn't just asking his question of herself, she was doing a split-second reassessment of love itself .. and in that pause Logan was not found wanting.
However, while I completely believed that "yeah," as well as her agreement that they should be nicer to one another, her positive response to his "are we okay?" was a bald-faced lie. That was the avoidance girl we all know and love. She's still mad at him. Veronica is still upset about the alibi, about him keeping it from her ... but she probably feels that she can't call him on that anymore because, oh, yeah, he saved her life. So she still has simmering resentment that can't be appeased from that, in addition, he was yelling at her and ordering her around earlier AND let's not forget the reason she was there ripping him a new one to begin with: He went behind her back and hired a bodyguard without telling her. So, of course, it's not okay between them. She's still pissed off and justifiably so. Just because she realized she loves him, doesn't make everything all of a sudden sunshine and rosebuds.
And I believe that Kristen Bell played all of this beautifully. Upon first viewing, I thought Bell sold this scene, while Jason Dohring undersold it, however a second viewing offered a different point of view -- not regarding Bell, she absolutely shined here, but in how Dohring chose to play the scene. Going back to my write-up in President Evil:
Quote:Dohring was holding back as a deliberately acting choice because Logan was holding back. Even when telling her he loved her, there was a hesitation to the words and I certainly read an expectation of the negative when he asked her. It was as if Logan grew subconsciously aware during the whole conversation that the moment was coming ... he would have to lay his heart down on the line again and say the words and this time, he would have to ask for her feelings in return or there was nothing to fight for. And he expected a brush-off, a quip or simply a "no." When she answered in the affirmative with tears shining in her eyes and he could tell she meant it, you could see the visible shaking off of a burden as he moved to her, took her in his arms, confident in touching her, holding her, wanting things to be right. Because that's how he operates ... when you love someone, you do it completely and openly.
[Logan is] walking on eggshells, doing his damndest to not only NOT screw up so badly that he sends her running, but also walking on the eggshells of his heart. He's holding himself back because he knows now, he gets it. If he screws up, the consequences are that he'll get hurt ... again.
Right now, however, Veronica Mars is not wired that way.
Scene Three: Ouch!
To be fair to both Logan and Veronica -- who I feel both deserve equality for their actions tonight, I'm going to address this scene from two different points of view: The emotional and cerebral. From a cerebral point of view, this scene made perfect sense. I completely understood exactly why Veronica did not answer that phone. On the other hand, I just as completely understood exactly why Logan thought the absolute worst when she didn't. Going back to the previous scene, as I stated above, I fully believe that Veronica was lying when she agreed that they were okay. She said "yeah," because she didn't want to fight anymore; she wasn't ready to just let go of her resentment and anger. Simply put, she needed more time. And that is why she didn't answer the phone. It wasn't because she doesn't love Logan, didn't mean that "yeah," but because she wasn't ready to be "okay" yet. Of course, Logan won't see that.
He can't see it ... because he doesn't trust her. He believed her (or, at least, he wanted to believe her) when she said she loved him and so he believed (wanted to believe) her when she agreed that they were okay. He doesn't realize that they were two separate things. She DOES love him. They are, however, NOT okay because she's still pissed that he was so heavy-handed and wants her to "change." So she needs space, she needs time to cool off. She can't just blow it off because she realizes she loves him; she's not wired that way. And frankly, she hasn't had to be, because, until now, that hasn't been a problem for her. The fact that she has this wall around her heart has not been an impediment in getting guys falling all over her and Logan has been the worst offender. Because he doesn't trust in Veronica's love, he's always trying to make things work with them because he believes that if he doesn't, the relationship will die.
Veronica, on the other hand, knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Logan loves her, she knows that whatever crap she pulls, he's gonna be there. Therefore, she feels that she doesn't have to fight for it. She knows that she is in the position of power -- not that I think she even realizes this consciously, but there it is -- and in a healthy relationship, no partner should have more power than the other. So Veronica doesn't have to change, he does; she doesn't have to try to make it work because Logan loves her so much, he'll accept her, flaws and all. No, it's not a good way to have a relationship, but Logan has certainly put himself in that position. Now here they are ... Veronica feeling herself secure enough in the relationship that she can avoid him until she's ready and Logan feeling so insecure that when he sees her avoiding him, he can only see that she doesn't love him after all.
Before I continue, I want to touch upon the acting because it's a reverse of the previous scene. I believe that Dohring played his few seconds here with utter magnificence, while upon first viewing, I thought Bell undersold her moments. However, like the above scene, a second viewing changed my opinion -- not regarding Dohring, he hit it, but in how Bell chose to play the scene. There was enough tension in her frame, pause in her reaction and an almost-stiffness to her movement to suggest that Veronica was struggling, but she just needed time. So I give a hearty bravo to both for their performances throughout the Logan/Veronica arc in this episode.
Okay, that was my cerebral take -- I see Logan's point of view, just as I see Veronica's point of view, but emotionally? I was a mess. I cannot watch, cannot think about that final scene without my heart breaking. Even understanding that Veronica does love Logan; even getting that Logan was taking her action in the worst possible way ... it was still the most painful moment in the history of LoVe. The look on his face, the way he closed the phone, held it to his lips, the devastation in his eyes and then the camera pulling away, it was just absolutely painful and because, yet again, Veronica was the one doing the devastating, it was much easier for many to turn against her.
I'm hoping that something happens in the following episode to even it out because -- from an emotional point of view -- I'm still upset with her because of last week and that does carry over. And yet, this week, if anyone is more to blame for acting like an idiot, it's totally Logan. He was extremely high-handed and disrespectful of her feelings. However, and this is where the character motivation comes in, I get why he was that way, and so I'm less inclined to be pissed at him because I'm still pissed about the crap Veronica pulled last week ... wherein, I could not understand so much of what she did. Even being able to do so this week, it still felt like my heart was breaking right alongside Logan's as he watched her ignore him.
{{Sigh}} and so once again, we end an episode with the oft-repeated refrain ... poor Logan!
Veronica's back in The Hearst Free Press offices meeting with the newly appointed editor in chief replacing the recently fired Miss "I have an agenda and so does my paper" Nish. It seems that The Ed (can I call you The Ed? I can? Great!) came across Veronica's file on Nish's desk and wants to utilize her talent, baggage with Nish be damned. Wasting no time at all, The Ed asks her if she's free that night. Veronica makes that face like she thinks he's asking her out (And, seriously? Get over yourself Veronica) but then tentatively asks if he's wondering if she's free to take photos. With the perfect edge of dry sarcasm he confirms that yeah, that is what he wanted to know because that's what she's there for -- right?
The Ed asks Veronica if she knows about the upcoming election -- which she does. It seems that the Hearst Board of Trustees is preparing to vote on a resolution to remove the Greek system from Hearst which I guess they think will end the rape crisis. (To quote Cher Horowitz, "As if!") The University is throwing a little soiree that evening and the paper would like Veronica to get them some art. The Ed will award bonus points for a photo of the Dean in a lampshade (or dogs at a poker table), but mainly he's interested in shots of Hearst's newest Board member and most illustrious alumni, Selma Hearst-Rose. Yes, that "Hearst" No, no, no -- not Patty Hearst. Well, okay, yes, Patty Hearst is on this show but who I'm really referring to is Selma Rose's grandpappy, the founder of Hearst University. That Hearst. Turns out Ms. Hearst-Rose is heir to the Hearstmart fortune and the swing vote on the very important resolution.
Veronica and The Ed reminisce about Selma's early years and her grand act of noblesse oblige wherein she dumped her entire trust fund out of an airplane over "the ghetto." Okay, so riots ensued and she was arrested and served time in county jail, but hey, her heart was in the right place. Their reminiscing is interrupted by two classy gents wanting to cash in their camera phone photos of Chip Diller sprawled across the campus lawn in his unmentionables.
That night, Veronica (looking smashing in red, I might add) plays photojournalist to the hoity toity crowd at the Board of Trustees cocktail party. She finds the Dean chatting it up with Selma Rose (Patty Hearst in an underwhelming performance -- seriously casting folks, can we stop with the crappy stunt casting?) and asks to snap a quick (money) shot before the boring speeches begin.
Moments later the Dean takes the podium and welcomes everyone to the gathering and expresses his delight that Selma is joining their illustrious Board of Trustees. He gives a quick rundown of her stats and standing and we learn that since taking over the Hearstmart Empire two years ago she's managed to make the company a leader in corporate responsibility, which dovetails nicely with her early random acts of kindness. The Dean announces Selma and welcomes her to the podium to say a few words, but Selma fails to appear. The Dean quips, stalling for time, while the audience claps half-heartedly, but it becomes clear very quickly that Selma has gone missing.
Side note: You know, you'd think that anyone even thinking of living in or near the city limits of Neptune would install a lo-jack on their person considering how often people in this town go missing.
Lamb shows up a short time later to investigate the disappearance, but seems puzzled that the Dean suspects foul play. As the Dean points out, having a woman disappear in the middle of a highly publicized event for which she is the guest of honor does seem a bit weird. Lamb's not convinced because rich chicks, at least by his definition, are unreliable. (Much like rape victims, eh Sheriff Smartass?) The Dean quips that it should have occurred to him that Selma left because she remembered an appointment for a tennis lesson in the middle of the party. He wonders if perhaps he might speak to someone else that might, you know, take the disappearance seriously. (In this town Dean, chances of finding someone like that in the Sheriff's office could accurately be described as "slim to none.") Lamb is dismissive and tells the Dean he's sure they'll find Selma crying into a mojito in the club over a lost earring. The Dean, understandably, decides to get off Lamb's crazy train and seeks Veronica out in an effort to get some real help.
Veronica brings the Dean home to meet with Keith about Selma's disappearance. After filling Keith in on the details, the Dean tells Keith that both he and Selma's husband are terrified for her safety. Having known Selma for twenty years, the Dean knows her well enough to know that she'd never leave a microphone and a captive audience without being dragged. As he's correctly ascertained that the Sheriff is an idiot -- remarking that he's met smarter sandwiches, which, hee! -- he needs Keith on the case because he's convinced she's been kidnapped. The University has suffered rapes, riots (um, when did I blink and miss that?), and now abductions -- and the Dean needs Keith's help to solve at least one of the campus crises. Not to help, I don't know, FIND THE RAPIST or anything, just to find Selma.
As Keith escorts the Dean out of the Mars apartment, he assures him that he'll begin with online investigations tonight and start field work on Selmas disappearance first thing in the morning. The Dean, almost as an afterthought, mentions that he does have one other possible clue that might help the investigation -- apparently another other Board members saw Selma speaking with a waitress right as the Dean began his introduction, moments before her disappearance. Keith assures him that they'll look into it and bids the Dean good night. As Keith closes the door, he turns to his partner in crime-fighting and suggests a plan of action. The next morning, he'll go speak with the family and see what details he can unearth while Veronica talks to the caterer and tracks down the waitress.
As planned, Veronica heads over to speak with a woman who I assume is the head of catering at the University and asks for a list of the wait staff working the previous evening so that she can determine which one of the waitresses spoke to Selma just before she went missing. Veronica learns that the list is going to be shorter than she could have hoped for because there was only one waitress working the night before.
We cut to Veronica lingering out in the campus hallway, snagging Feminist Clich #1 (a.k.a. Fran) as she leaves class. Fran is unsurprisingly unthrilled to see "Buffy, Tiffany, whatever your name is" and wants to know what the hell she wants. It seems that Fran was the mystery waitress who spoke with Selma the night before -- Veronica snarkily guesses that perhaps Selma was considering a nose ring and was looking for a little female insight. Fran informs Veronica that she was simply telling Selma that she had a phone call. She doesn't know who was calling, only that it was a woman, and the only reason she answered it in the first place was because the line in the kitchen was ringing off the hook and driving her crazy.
Veronica points out that it's a little funny (and not "ha-ha" funny) that a driving force in getting the Greeks kicked off campus -- Fran -- is the last person to interact with the swing vote on that very important resolution -- Selma. Fran points out that it is equally funny that the girl who exonerated the Pi Sigs -- Veronica -- is the one leading the charge to find the missing swing vote. Veronica corrects Fran: She wasn't trying to save the Pi Sigs, she was just looking for the truth.
Unfortunately for Veronica, the truth about the Pi Sigs in Fran's mind is simple -- those classless asses just kicked off Sex Quest '06 (the charming points-for-sex game that everyone will remember from the season two episode The Rapes of Graff) which makes them pigs undeserving of mercy -- even inadvertent mercy. Well, at least that's what I suspect Fran thinks. She cautions Veronica to watch what she drinks for the next few weeks. Unfortunately Fran, Veronica's been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. Twice.
Meanwhile, Keith heads over to the Rose estate to have a little chat with Selma's hubby, Budd. He's greeted in the foyer by a guy so fastidious and prissy he makes Niles Crane look like Earl Hickey. Mr. Priss, or Brant as he's known by his manicurist, explains that Mr. Rose is resting and can't see Keith right now. Keith counters that Mr. Rose is expecting him and that since he's investigating Mrs. Rose's disappearance, he's sure Mr. Rose will want to see him. Brant agrees that Mr. Rose wants to help, but reiterates that he can't right now because he's resting. I'm sure you can guess Keith's response. They go back and forth like that for a few minutes until Budd Rose yells at Brant from somewhere off-screen to stop harassing their guest and show him in.
Brant stiffly escorts Keith into Mr. Rose's office. Budd Rose is a distinguished looking gent that bears a striking resemblance to The Nannys employer (or that guy Shane on Days of Our Lives) who appears to be confined to a wheel-chair. Budd apologizes for Brant's behavior -- apparently he's rather overprotective of Budd when it comes to, well, just about everything. Budd expresses his distress over his wife's disappearance and wonders if Keith, like the Dean, believes she's been kidnapped. As there has been no ransom demand, Keith cautions that for now it is simply a missing persons case and that they shouldn't jump to conclusions.
Keith tries to get some background info on Selma and asks Budd if she was having any business problems that he was aware of. Budd shares that Selma's been having nothing but business problems since she took control of the company two years before. Apparently getting her company to become a leader in corporate responsibility was an uphill battle and one she had to fight with her Board of Directors every day. Unfortunately, Budd doesn't know too much else about the company these days. Budd shares with Keith that Selma's brother Roger will be handling the company in Selma's absence. And as it turns out, Roger will be arriving in Neptune later that afternoon.
Keith suspects that it would be helpful to talk to Roger about both his sister and the company and Budd assures Keith that he'll have Brant get him the contact information for Roger's "advance team" -- his assistant. Brant escorts Keith out of the house and tells Keith in the most insincere manner possible that he can contact him if he needs anything else. Keith spots two yappy frou-frou dogs behind glass doors in another building on the property at almost the same time he notices a BMW in the driveway. It seems that the Beamer belongs to the grossly overpaid dog walker, who, judging by the sticker on the windshield, is also student at Hearst University. Keith asks Brant for the lucky gal's contact information.
Flash over to the Neptune Sheriff's office where Deputy Sachs informs Lamb (with wiggly eyebrows) that the super hot reporter Martina Vasquez is holding on the line for him, just waiting with baited breath to ask him a few questions about Selma Rose's disappearance. Lamb quickly pulls up her web page for a quick refresher before picking up the phone. He proceeds to schmooze the lovely reporter by complimenting her on her most recent story (which he so TOTALLY did not watch) and tells her that he's happy to help in any way possible. (Except for, you know, doing his job and finding the missing person. Or catching the Hearst rapist.)
We flash to Ms. Vasquez on the other end of the phone basking in Lambs compliments, only Ms. Vasquez looks remarkably like one Veronica Mars and her office at Channel 9 closely resembles Veronica's bedroom. Proving she gives good phone with any accent, Veronica continues simper to Lamb for a minute before asking him about the rumor that Selma received a phone call right before her disappearance. She wonders if they have learned who the call was from yet. Lamb tells her that the tip turned out to be bogus because there was no record of an incoming call that night.
Before Lamb can elaborate on his offer to keep her "in the loop" on this sort of stuff, Veronica's cover is blown when Keith picks up the kitchen extension. Veronica quietly tells her dad that she's on the phone. As he hangs up the kitchen phone, Keith hollers to Veronica and asks her to let him know when shes off the line. Without missing a beat, Veronica slips right back into her faux accent and asks Lamb about his offer to keep her "in the loop" but Lamb hangs up the phone like the handset is on fire. The look of puzzled aggravation he casts on the offending desk phone is priceless! Having gotten the information she needed out of the ever-gullible Lamb, Veronica, as promised, hollers to her dad that she's done with the phone.
In light of this new information, Veronica tracks down her buddy Fran to confront her about the seemingly bogus phone call the night of Selma's disappearance. When Veronica confronts her with the revelation that there was no incoming call logged, Fran counters with a fairly obvious alternative: perhaps there's no log of an outside call because the call didn't come from outside. Perhaps it was placed from another extension within the university. The look of "d'oh!" on Veronicas face clearly indicates that she hadn't considered that possibility.
Keith finally manages to meet up with Selma's underwhelmingly concerned brother Roger who is convinced that Selma's disappearance is nothing more than her "flaking out." He suspects that she's at a spa somewhere outside of Santa Fe, wrapped in algae with a couple of cucumber slices over her eyes. I suspect that Roger has the intelligence and emotional maturity of, well, Lamb. I was gonna say a Turkey Reuben, but I think the world of sandwiches has been insulted quite enough lately. Keith, like the Dean, points out that leaving right in the middle of a reception seems like a rather odd thing to do. In Selma's case, Roger disagrees.
In his mind, it makes perfect sense because Selma would have been splitting right before she needed to make a decision. Keith comments that indecisiveness seems like a strange trait for the head of a Fortune 500 company. But Roger corrects Keith -- Selma's not a corporate maven, she's a "humanitarian" (a very dirty word in corporate America) which Roger explains has a very narrow profit margin. He goes on to explain that Hearstmarket stock has been steadily rising since Selma's disappearance solely on the assumption that without her at the helm, the company will continue to buy products from Asia rather than from within the U.S., which was apparently Selma's vision for the future. A vision that would cost both the company and the stock-holders a fortune.
Roger continues that if it wasn't business related, Selma may have also run off because of problems with her husband. It seems things weren't quite as rosy in the Rose household as Budd let Keith believe. According to Roger, Selma had already consulted with an attorney about a divorce. It seems that since the accident (presumably the one that left Budd in a wheel chair) Budd's been overly clingy. Roger thinks it is safe to say that Selma's got way more affection for her dogs than her husband at this point. In fact, Roger wouldn't be surprised to learn that Selma left everything to little Ernest and Julio in her will.
The following morning in the Mars family kitchen, Keith tells a bleary Veronica that he ran the plates on Selma's grossly-overpaid dog walker. Veronica assumes that Keith's hoping she'll check the gal out, size her up and then shake her down. Keith smiles and says that he'd love it, if she wouldn't mind. Lucky for him Veronica can do that in her sleep -- or in the sleep-like state that follows what sounds like a near-sleepless night and a too early morning with only one large cup of coffee. Particularly once she realizes that the name and address Keith has written down is that of one slightly dim Zeta Theta, Ms. Hallie Piatt.
Veronica doesn't bother to track Hallie down at home. Instead, she knows to find this elusive creature her in her natural habitat -- sunning in her bikini on the lawn of the south quad. After getting Hallie's attention by blocking her sun, Veronica drops to the ground for a little girl-gabbing with her old Zeta Theta buddy. Before Hallie can speak, Veronica starts rambling (while doing her best sorority girl impression) about how Hallie must be so totally worried about her missing boss. Even though Mrs. Rose had the power to get Hallie and her sisters kicked off campus, Veronica is sure that she must be like a basket case and a half!
Hallie regains her composure and says that yeah, she's Selma Rose's dog-walker. And so what? Veronica starts in with her judgmental preconceived notions about Hallie and says that Hallie having a job at all is the first shocker. That she has a job that requires her to wear a plastic bag on her hand while waiting for Fido to "kick out a lodger" (Klassy, Veronica) makes Veronica positively dizzy! Hallie correctly tells Veronica that she doesn't know the first thing about her, but clearly Veronica has decided otherwise. In her mind, she's got little Hallie all figured out. And in Veronica's mind Hallie's a Theta Beta that would do anything to protect her sisters and her house.
Hallie finds it almost laughable that Veronica thinks she had something to do with Selma Rose's disappearance. In fact, she suggests that if there's anyone Veronica ought to be investigating, it's Budd's assistant Brant. According to Hallie, he's like "swimfan" level obsessed/in love with Budd. Which, in retrospect, makes perfect sense. Hallie recounts seeing Brant lovingly stroke Mr. Rose's hair while he was sleeping, and the tantrum he threw just a short time before when Budd asked him to help plan an anniversary party for Mrs. Rose. Like a teacup throwing tantrum. Hallie comments on the pathetic-ness of poor Brant who is delusional enough to have hope that after ten years of marriage Budd might ditch his wife and start batting for the other team.
Veronica returns to the M.I. offices and reports to her dad that she's just dripping with information. Keith reveals that he too has some juicy details to share. The two engage in a hilarious little routine wherein Keith reveals Roger's plan to thwart Selma's "Buy American" initiative which will save the company hundreds of thousands of dollars. Veronica shares Hallie's information on Brant's obsession with his employer. Keith counters that Brant's not too fond of Hallie either. When Veronica mentions Brant's tantrum over the tenth anniversary party, Keith has a lightbulb moment. And he's clearly disappointed in his progeny because what do they call the tenth anniversary in the P.I. biz? Ah yes, the "Dine and Ditch."
Veronica does look a bit chagrined that she didn't consider the tenth anniversary angle, but is confused when she thinks about it because Mrs. Rose is the one with all the loot. Keith tells her about Roger's speculation about the impending divorce so Veronica wonders if Budd had Selma whacked. Although he concedes that whacking is one extreme possibility, Keith has another idea -- a hunch he'd like to play out if his daughter is game. Since it seems that the Selma's two little dogs are the children she never had, if Budd's trying to keep her hidden, wouldn't having her dogs to keep her company help keep her quiet?
To test his hunch, Veronica and Keith pay a late-night (and not entirely legal) visit to the Rose estate. Veronica scales the wall in true Bionic Woman fashion and opens the gate to allow daddy dearest in. The two follow the yipping of Selma's little doggie children to the guest cottage on the property. Keith does a quick lock-pick job and the two slip inside. The dogs seem happy for the company, but the sound of the television playing in the background suggests that they are not alone. Keith and Veronica step out of the foyer and into the living room where Selma Rose sits, cool as a cucumber in her bathrobe and slippers watching TV. Keith asks her if she's okay. Selma confirms that she'd be better if they'd shut the door and not try to rescue her.
Keith introduces himself and explains that he was hired by the Dean to track her down as everyone feared that she'd been kidnapped. Selma seems touched by the Dean's concern and tells Keith to let her old buddy Cyrus know that she's just fine. Which, of course, Keith is willing to do, but he'd also kind of like to know how she wound up missing in her own guest house. He's concerned that she might be in trouble. Selma says that she isn't, but she will be if Keith tells anyone he saw her so she'd appreciate it if he didn't. In fact, shes willing to show her appreciation monetarily if necessary. Keith assures her that it isn't because he's already being paid by someone who is very worried about her safety.
Selma says that she'll tell him her sordid little tale in hopes that Keith will decide to figure out a way to let Cyrus know she's okay without giving her away. Keith's willing to try but hey -- people think she's been kidnapped so he's not making any promises. Selma assures Keith that there's no kidnapping here, merely good old-fashioned blackmail. It seems that Budd has discovered that Selma's got a lover and demanded that she "disappear" until after their tenth anniversary. It seems that Keith was on target with his "Dine and Ditch" theory after all. But Veronica wonders if that's all that Budd's after, why not just blackmail her into waiting to sign the divorce decree instead of making her disappear?
Keith's got it all figured out. See, with Selma out of the public eye and off the world's radar screen, Roger is free to run the company in her absence. During which time he'll quash her "Buy American" plan which will ensure that Hearstmart stock goes through the roof. By the time Selma's back in the game, the company will be locked in to the contracts Roger negotiated with companies in Southeast Asia. Which means that Budd will be entitled to millions more than he'd be getting right now. I second Veronica's "bastard." True DAT.
Selma tells Keith that Veronica's right about her husband. Once upon a time they had a great marriage, but after the accident things went south. Budd decided he had something to prove and his way of proving it involved nailing anything female that walked. Keith is sympathetic to her situation but assures her that she could find a lawyer that could help her deal with this situation and get her out of it much less expensively. Selma pauses before asking Keith if he knows what it's like to be a punch line on a national level (and, um, yeah he does -- don't you read People magazine?). She's been one and she's spent her whole life trying to gain back a measure of respectability. Handing over a stack of photographs, Selma reveals that this would put her back at square one.
Keith and Veronica take a look at the photographs of Selma in a clinch with her lover. Her attractive, college-aged, young lover who just happens to be a chick. And one we know at that! If these pictures are anything to go by, it seems Hallie's been putting in a little overtime. It was she who called Selma the night of the party to break the news that she didnt really care about her and that their entire relationship was a lie. In fact, Hallie had seduced her for Budd and the two of them were planning to run away together and live off of Selma's fortune. (What do you know? For once, Veronica leapt to a conclusion -- that Hallie was somehow involved in Selmas disappearance -- and she was actually right! Maybe someone ought to go check and make sure hell isn't freezing over. You know, just in case.)
Keith suggests to Selma that he might have a way to help her with her little problem. He needs to know if Selma was wearing the earrings she's got on now at the cocktail party the other night (she was) and whether or not she's got access to Budd's email account. Judging by the look of hopeful satisfaction on Selma's face, I'm guessing that answer's a resounding yes.
The next day Veronica tells Wallace that they've found the perfect "witness" to Selma's "kidnapping." Minutes later, Sachs tells Lamb that a guy has come in to file a report because he saw Selma Rose the night she went missing. This guy saw Selma having a fight with a girl from the college so he's got him going through a Hearst University yearbook. The "witness" (a.k.a. Morty the homeless guy from the Pi Sig dumpster) hollers out that he's found the mystery girl.
Shortly thereafter we see Lamb pulling a clueless Hallie over on the side of the road. She puts on her best innocent act and says that if she was speeding, she totally didn't know. Lamb assures her she was driving just fine, but he's gonna need her to step out of her car anyway. He flashes her the search warrant obtained for her vehicle.
Next, Lamb makes a stop at the Rose estate and flashes yet another warrant at the ever-attentive Brant. When Budd rolls out into the foyer to find out who is at the door and sees the Sheriff, he asks if they've found his wife. Lamb's sorry to say that they didn't -- but they did find one of her earrings in his girlfriends car. They also found love letters from Budd to Hallie on her laptop. Lamb says that he gets why Budd likes her so much because she's a sweet girl. Apparently not too tough though -- when interrogated, Hallie sang like the proverbial canary and suggested that they take a look in the guest house.
When we next see Budd, Lamb's got him in interrogation down at the station. Lamb comments that with Budd having both a hot young girlfriend and an older rich wife, he's kind of shocked that he's not investigating a murder. (Which, HEE!) Budd's all smug and pompous says that Lamb can talk all he wants but he's not saying a word until his lawyer gets there. At that moment Sachs sticks his head in the door and informs Lamb that Mrs. Rose would like a minute with her husband. Since he's just spinning his wheels waiting for Budd's attorney to show up, Lamb tells Sachs to show her in.
Selma wonders if Roger was in on Budd's plan or if he was simply counting on him to do the wrong thing. Budd comments that Roger is fairly predictable that way, leading us to believe that he was simply trusting Roger to be a greedy bastard with no concern for his sister's well being. Sadly, he seems to have nailed that one. Selma tosses a divorce agreement on the table as an "early anniversary present" -- unless of course Budd had his heart set on going to jail. Ooh, snap!
Veronica has one last confrontation with Hallie for the road when Hallie decides (for whatever reason) that she needs Veronica to know that she's not just some gold digger and that she really loved Budd. Veronica's incredulity knows no bounds because she has to assume that it was all of Budd's money that Hallie really loved. Hallie counters that Budd is more man that Veronica could ever handle, but Veronica doesn't care if the schmuck Ron Jeremy on wheels. As she points out to Hallie, the creep is an adulterer and old enough to be her father -- not to mention a manipulative blackmailer on a grand scale. But hey, Selma got her divorce and Budd got stuck with a measly settlement so I suppose that helps to balance the scales of marital justice.
- Chip Diller appears to be a briefs over boxers guy.
- The plastic easter egg used to assault Chip was bright pink -- yet another subtle nod to feminism?
- Hallie's last name is Piatt and she resides at 8684 Elm Street in Neptune (in the prestigious 90909 zipcode, no less).
- Hallie drives a BMW, California license plate #2GAT123.
- The Zeta Theta Beta sisters threw a successful car wash and were able to raise enough money for den mother Karen to afford another round of chemo-therapy.
- In the P.I. world, a tenth wedding anniversary is often referred to as the "Dine and Ditch" as many spouses ditch their significant others right before the tenth anniversary so that they don't have to share half of their assets.
- Patrice Petrelli was a Zeta Theta Beta pledge of the graduating class of 2007.
- Before the lawn on the south quad became the place to see and be seen sunbathing, the Zeta Theta Beta girls would lay out on the sorority house roof.
- According to Veronica's caller ID, Logan's cell phone number is (858) 555-0107. Interestingly enough, the same phone number (albeit with a 619 area code) was listed as Mac's cell phone number in Not Pictured.
- It's a crisp fall day at Hearst as two students are tossing a Frisbee back and forth outside. The one student motions for his friend to go long and then throws the Frisbee. The friend starts running after it but trips and falls over something. Or ... someone? His sore elbow is quickly forgotten once he realizes that it's Chip Diller, lord of the Pi Sigs, that he stumbled over. The guy starts laughing because Chip's naked expect for his briefs, and his hair's been shaved off in uneven patches. The other student runs up with his camera phone, also chuckling. He snaps a shot of Chip's unconscious form and continues laughing. So, what, does everyone on campus have something against Chip? Now, I'm no fan, but shouldn't someone see if he's okay? Where's the campus camaraderie?
While Veronica's talking with the new editor of the Hearst Free Press, those same guys stroll in and ask the editor if the newspaper pays for photos, because they've got a photo worthy of the front page. Uh, presume much? Granted, the recently ousted Nish would have had a field day with a photo like that, but will the new editor be so tasteless as to shame a member of the student body by printing it for public consumption? Veronica takes a look at the photo and is troubled.
Veronica finds out from Fern that the Pi Sigs have kicked off "Sex Quest '06". The boys are back to awarding themselves points for getting laid. Okay, so let me get this right. Last year they got a semester probation, just a few weeks ago they were nearly kicked off campus, and the board of trustees is about to vote on whether or not to remove the Greek system from Hearst -- now with all that in mind, HOW does this seem like a good idea? Well, there's one Pi Sig she can semi-rely on for information...
Dick Casablancas. Hey, I did say semi-reliable. She joins him in the Hearst cafeteria and asks him if it's such a good idea for the Pi Sigs to be having their "Sex Quest" at a university with a serial rapist. Dick says not to worry about him, because, you know, that's exactly what Veronica was doing. His points are in order courtesy of a Miss Bonnie Capistrano, whose curvature of the spine is barely noticeable, he says. But he still got the "handicapped bonus." Yeah, is anyone else a little relieved that Logan and Dick have stopped hanging out? Veronica tells him that he's repugnant but moves on, which you kind of have to do with Dick. She asks him if he's considered the possibility that Chip getting his head shaved was someone's way of warning the frat about the Sex Quest. Dick says that makes sense and goes on to reveal that not only was Chip's head shaved, someone stuck a plastic Easter egg in his ... where-the-sun-don't-shine place. Veronica is shocked but nonetheless quips, "Worst. Easter egg hunt. Ever." Did the show really just go there? Why yes, it did. So prepare yourself for more ass jokes that you ever really needed or wanted to hear.
Veronica isn't feeling very empathetic towards poor Chip, but she's curious as to the motivation. It turns out that there was a Roman numeral inside the egg, but he doesn't know what it was and he's guessing that Chip threw the egg out. Veronica asks him when the garbage is collected, and he replies that the truck comes by on Friday. But Morty the homeless dude comes on Thursday to pull out bottles and cans from the dumpster. He doesn't know if they recycle keister eggs. Ha ... ha. Very funny, Dick.
Just as Dick said, Morty is going through the trash inside the dumpster when he and Veronica arrive outside the Pi Sig house. Veronica offers Morty a twenty dollar bill to look for a plastic egg while he's down there. Ah, paying homeless men to do your dirty work ... it seems familiar somehow. Bum fights, anyone? While Morty searches, a young women in slutty attire exits the frat house. Dick throws up his arms and shouts, "what the hell, Bonnie?" That's apparently what she was thinking. Another cute frat boy. What the hell? Bonnie walks away, quite pleased with herself. Aw, but didn't you hear, Dick? She thinks you're cute. Morty then pops his head out of the dumpster with a pink plastic egg in his hand. Veronica cringes but she's come prepared with a sealable plastic bag. Tell me she plans to sanitize the hell out of that thing.
Later that day, Veronica and Wallace are grabbing dinner at the cafeteria as she's telling him about Chip. They grab a table and Veronica shows him the Roman numerals that were inside the egg: CXI CMIII, or 111 903. She puts the numbers in front of him and tells him to get crackin' (no pun intended), because he's her numbers guy (and ... also a cheater, remember?). Wallace has no idea, and he still can't get past the fact that someone stuck an egg ... well, you know. He gives it a shot, though, and guesses that it's a student ID number. Veronica pulls out her ID card and counts the digits. One too many. Bad, Wallace! But then she sees a date (her birthday? date of issuance?) on the card and has an idea. She draws two backslashes in the set of numbers and gets 11/19/03. Three years and two days ago.
Veronica heads to library after hours and leafs through a book of back issues for the Hearst Free Press (at least they're not on dreaded microfilm). She's looking for something significant that happened on November 19, 2003. She comes to an article titled "Theta Beta pledge falls off house roof -- Pitrelli '07 falls off sorority house roof while girls were sunbathing." That? I'd call significant.
The next day, as Veronica is grilling Hallie about Selma Rose, she throws in a side question about Patrice Pitrelli. Hallie says that she heard from her Theta Beta sisters that Patrice just had one too many hard lemonades and fell off the roof. Simple as that. No one pushed her and it's not like she died. Yeah, but she fell off a roof. Hallie suggests that Veronica talk to someone in Patrice's pledge class. She wasn't a student at Hearst when Patrice was.
Meanwhile, things aren't going so well for Chip. Veronica and Wallace are eating in the cafeteria again when he walks in with a cap over his bald head. Three guys at a nearby table start singing the lyrics to "Peter Cottontail" as he walks by. Chip flips out and throws his tray of food at one of the guys and launches himself at the table, managing to knock down a female student that happens to be walking by. And it's Wallace to the rescue. He rushes over to help the girl up and then tries to pull one of the guys off Chip. He fails, though, and some guy wearing an Iota Gamma Tau sweatshirt comes up, tears Wallace away from Chip and the other guy, and punches him. That's it. Time to say hello to Mr. Sparky. Veronica gets up and Tasers sweatshirt dude. Another guy from the table comes up from behind Veronica and grabs her. A tall, burly man dressed all in black comes out of nowhere, picks up Veronica, and rushes her out of the cafeteria. She screams and he muffles it with his hand. Once outside, he sets her down and she demands to know just what the hell is going on. He assures her that he's there to help. Mr. Echolls hired him to protect her. And judging by the look of fury and indignity on Veronica's face, I'm guessing that wasn't such a good idea.
Veronica runs into Hallie at school the next day and wants to know the real reason Patrice jumped off the Theta Beta house roof. Hallie snaps back that Patrice's best friend just faked a rape, so she should go harass her. She must be talking about Claire, but Veronica asks for clarification anyway. Hallie says that they were in the same pledge class.
Veronica goes to Claire's place and knocks on the door. Claire answers and Veronica gets right to the point: What did Chip Diller have to do with Patrice Pitrelli falling off the roof? Claire tells her to come in; they will enlighten her. They ...? She opens the door wider, revealing Fern on the couch and Nish at the kitchen counter. Shocker. Veronica hesitantly walks in. Nish comments that she's impressed with her tenacity, if not her politics. Oh, goodie, Veronica can now die happy. But really, can Nish just admit that she got herself fired? A grown woman blaming all her problems on a freshman? Lame!
Anyway, Veronica says that she knows Patrice fell off the Theta Beta roof. Claire corrects her; Patrice didn't fall, she walked right off. She says that the Theta Betas would take pledges to a secret room where they'd have them undress. Veronica turns to looks at Nish in disbelief. She knows that Veronica went undercover at the Theta Beta house and didn't see any two-way mirror. Nish maintains that they're just hiding it, and Claire insists that she saw it when she was there with Patrice. The rush officer would have the pledges strip and would mark up the areas of their bodies that needed "work." Patrice was a Theta Beta legacy, but she was overweight and pale. They covered her in marks, and they used permanent marker so she'd see them for weeks. As for Chip's involvement, he and his Pi Sig brothers came to watch and ridicule her. Patrice was distraught. The sisters just told her to get a tan, but one day -- November 19th, 2003 -- she came out on the roof where all the girls were tanning and walked right off the edge. She spent a couple months in the hospital and is now in a mental-health facility.
Veronica shakes her head, and Fern takes that to mean that she doesn't believe them. Veronica says that she does, and that what happened to Patrice was terrible. But she also thinks that's powerful motivation for them to fake a rape. The three women look around uncomfortably. Or maybe a series of rapes. Veronica wonders how many of them were real -- other than Chip's, that is. There's been no semen found on any of the victims. No hair. They can blame Veronica all they want for clearing the Pi Sigs of their rape charges, but they faked the rape that got the frat in trouble. The women aren't denying it, but what does that change? Not much. So Veronica shows herself out.
What the Lilith women also aren't denying is Chip's rape -- and yes, he was still violated, even if he is a jackass. Is Veronica going to do anything with that information? Has Chip even reported his assault? Probably not, if Dick was supposed to keep it a secret. But it doesn't seem right that the Lilith women should get away with what they've done. Yes, whoever the rapist is has certainly gone too far, but so have they. And do I really believe that Nish and co. have faked all the campus rapes? No. The rape arc isn't over, yet. There has to be more.
- And how is our intrepid detective dealing with her own almost-rape from last week? She's as feisty as ever in this episode, but internally she's still very much shaken up about the attack. She's in full avoidance mode, and Logan's noticed. He shows up at the Mars residence as she's heading out to go to the cocktail party and right after her father had to remind her to call her boyfriend. Facing her in the flesh, now, Logan calls her out on the fact that shes either missed all of his calls or is just avoiding him. He says that they need to have a serious talk, and she admits that that's why she hasn't been calling him back. She isn't ready to talk. Logan says he'll make it quick, then. He wants her to stay away from the rape case, because it's clear the rapist knows who she is. Veronica motions for him to lower his voice; her dad only knows that she was drugged, not that the rapist shaved off a patch of her hair. Logan suggests that Keith should maybe be in the loop about that, but Veronica turns that right down.
I see both of their reasoning here. Veronica might have very well told her father that she was starting to feel dizzy in the cafeteria and called Logan to get her -- end of story. He doesn't know how much danger she was and could still be in. But it's Veronica's business if she wants to tell him, not Logan's. Logan says fine, but she still needs to leave her nose out of the rape case. Veronica's response is indignant; her nose belongs wherever she decides to put it. And isn't his concern a bit of a one-eighty from last week, she asks. When he wanted her to clear Mercer from his rape charges? Logan asserts that it's different now because she was targeted. But Veronica isn't having any of this. Logan raises his voice; she isn't invincible and she isn't always right. No, she isn't, but Veronica doesn't respond well to people telling her what to do. Even loved ones. Speaking of loved ones, Keith hears Logan's shouting and comes out of his room. He tells Logan to stop yelling at his daughter, and Logan quips back that maybe he should start. With that, he leaves. Veronica explains to her father that Logan is just worried about her. Keith asks her if he has a reason to be worried, and she just sighs and tells him that the rapist has everyone on edge.
Later that night, as Veronica's walking back alone (alone!? Why?) to her car after the party, she hears the sound of glass breaking and stops cold. She looks behind her but no one is there. She looks to her side and sees someone's shadow disappearing from one of the walls. Spooked, Veronica digs through her bag and pulls out her Taser, which she clutches tightly to her chest, and runs the rest of the way back to her car.
Later that week, as Veronica is searching through the Free Press archives, she hears squeaking noises. She wastes no time in getting out of there. She runs down the stairs of the library and hides behind the front desk where she works. The squeaking increases and a pair of legs appears to her side. A mop hits the floor and a yellow bucket rolls into view. Phew! It's just the janitor. Veronica breathes a sigh of relief. She really is rattled.
Which explains why she's furious with Logan for hiring a bodyguard to protect her. After the cafeteria incident, she storms into his hotel suite and proceeds to chew him out. She fumes that he had no right to do that -- and no, he didn't, not without consulting her. He says he doesn't care if she's angry, he cares that she's safe. Veronica retorts that that's not how a relationship works. If he can't accept her and her work, then she can't be with him. She is who she is, and she's not going to change. Logan asks her, then, why she can't accept who he is and not constantly expect him to change. Ouch. It's true. They're both wrong, really. But maybe he'd feel a little better if he knew that she was as invested in their relationship as he is. Logan tells her that he loves her, and asks her uncertainly if she feels the same. After a moment, Veronica tearfully replies, "yeah." I do believe she loves him, but she didn't want to admit it to him -- not like that. Not with him forcing a yes or no answer out of her during a fight. If she was going to tell him she loved him, it would be when the timing was right, and it would be on her terms. She wasn't ready, and I suspect she resents him somewhat for that. So, nothing's changed. They're not "okay." She'll continue investigating the rape case and he'll continue with the power plays. Stubborn kids.
But Logan wants to make it work. He sees her purchasing lunch in the cafeteria the next day and probably wants to join her, so he calls her cell to give her a heads up. Except ... she sees who's calling on her phone's screen and oh-so-heartbreakingly ignores the call. She just doesn't want to deal. And this line from Season One is echoing in mind: When things get out of control, I need to be alone. Logan watches on sadly as Veronica sits down at a table and starts eating ... by herself, without him ... He's probably thinking, where do we go from now?
"Made To Be Broken" (Paul Minor)
Scene: And here we have sprawled upon the lawn ... the recipient of the worst. Easter. Egg. Hunt. Ever.
"Poison Cup" (M Ward)
Scene: {{Sob}} Logan. {{Sob}} Cellphone. {{Sob}} Watching Veronica ignoring his call. {{Sob}} Looking more Woobie-fied than ever! {{Sob}} and the camera keeps pulling away ... {{Sob}} and so heart-breaking!
LoVe Lines
Veronica: (To Keith) I'm off to steal the souls of the rich with my evil image capturing device.
Keith: (Offscreen) Have fun! Oh and call Logan, he left a couple messages.
Veronica: I will. Bye! (Opens door to find Logan outside)
Logan: Wow, synchronicity.
Veronica: Hey there. Tall, dark and timely.
Logan: I want you to stay away from the rape case. Okay? Just let it go. Its clear the rapist knows who you are.
Veronica: (Hushed to Logan so Keith won't overhear,) He doesn't know about the hair, just about the getting dosed part.
Logan: Well maybe he should be in the loop on this one.
Veronica: Don't you dare.
Logan: Fine. Just stop digging around. No more looking into the serial rapes, no more putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
Veronica: (Getting irritated). My nose kind of belongs wherever I decide to put it.
Logan: I'm worried about you. I want you to stop now, I'm not kidding.
Veronica: Kind of a 180, isn't it? Can we rewind a week? Cue it up to the part where you were asking me to exonerate your Mexican vacation buddy, Mercer.
Logan: That was before you were attacked. Why can't you for once just leave things alone?
Veronica: Okay, now you're starting to piss me off.
Logan: Frankly Veronica, so what? You're not invincible and you're not always right!
Keith: Hey! You might want to stop yelling at my daughter.
Logan: Yeah? You might want to start.
Veronica: (Angrily.) I have spent the last few days being terrified that I had some whacked-out rapist following me!
Logan: Look, I had the same fear.
Veronica: So you pay someone to tail me?
Logan: No, so I asked you to stop putting yourself in danger and you told me to piss off. Then I hired someone to protect you.
Veronica: You had no right to do that.
Logan: Look, that's probably true ... okay? It's just I don't care.
Veronica: You don't care?
Logan: Look, I don't give a rat's ass if it's right or fair. I don't care if you're angry. I care that you're safe.
Veronica: That's all sweet and great, but it doesn't really work that way. It's not like this is all some new facet of my personality. You know who I am! You know what I do.
Logan: And?
Veronica: And ... it isn't gonna change. And if you can't accept that, this isn't gonna work.
Logan: (Standing up.) You know who I am. And you're constantly expecting me to change. And even right now, as you're thinking, "Crap, he's got a point," you still think you're ultimately right. (Veronica looks away, eyes filling with tears.) I love you, Veronica. (She looks back at him.) I love you. (She looks away.) But, do you love me?
Veronica: (Looks at him, speaking softly.) Yeah.
Logan: Well then, can we try to go a little easier on each other?
Veronica: (Lets out a deep breath.) Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
Logan: (Puts arms around her.) So, are we okay?
Veronica: (Holding him.) Yeah ... we're okay.
Quotable Quotes
Editor: You know about the election?
Veronica: The Board of Trustees is voting on a resolution to remove the Greek system from Hearst.
Editor: Thats' the one. Vote's tomorrow. Tonight there's a reception -- that's university speak for 'cocktail party' -- for the Board of Trustees. We need art.
Veronica: Yeah, I can shoot it.
Editor: Bonus points if you get the Dean wearing a lampshade but mostly we want pictures of our most famous alum and Board member, Selma Rose.
Veronica: Mind if I take a quick shot for The Hearst Free Press?
Dean: Which one of my good sides do you want?
Selma: (Handing him a napkin.) I'm guessing the one without the trail of Thousand Island.
Dean: You should really be nice to me -- I'm about to kiss your ass.
Dean: Ladies and gentleman, I give you Selma Hearst Rose! (People applaud but Selma fails to appear). Selma? You're not waiting for me to carry you piggy back, are you?
Lamb: Foul play. You think? What makes you say so?
Dean: An extremely wealthy woman disappears in the middle of a reception held in her honor. Don't you find that -- I don't know -- odd?
Lamb: Well, I mean, there's odd and there's foul play. Rich ladies aren't the most reliable creatures.
Dean: (Perfectly sarcastic.) Of course. She must have remembered her tennis lesson. How silly of her to forget. I don't suppose there's someone I could speak with who would take this seriously.
Lamb: Dollars to donuts you'll find her sobbing into a mojito at the club because she lost an earring.
Dean: Well, you'd be the donut expert. Excuse me. (Goes over to talk to Veronica for some REAL help.)
Veronica: (On the phone, to Keith.) Beer off your belly, hand outta your boxers, put on some pants -- I'm bringing home a visitor.
Dean O'Dell: Look, the Sheriff is an idiot. I've met smarter sandwiches.
Keith: So, here's my thought: I'll go talk to the family tomorrow, and you talk to the waitress and the caterer.
Veronica: Ah ... (Pointing at Keith with her forefinger ...) High road, (and pointing at herself with her thumb, forming a gun.) low road. (Clicking her tongue.) Got it.
Veronica: Hey, Fern. What up, girl?
Fern: What do you want, Buffy, Tiffany, whatever your name is?
Veronica: (Reading off Fern's textbook) "The female voice in Celtic literature." I am woman, hear me bore.
Veronica: (to Fern) I heard you had a little chat with Selma Rose last night, right before she disappeared. Can I guess? She was contemplating a nose ring?
Veronica: I wasn't saving the Pi Sigs, I was getting to the truth.
Fern: Well, the truth is that your Pi Sig friend just kicked off "Sex Quest '06." You know what that is, freshman?
Veronica: Yeah, they award themselves points for getting laid.
Fern: (Patting Veronica's shoulder.) Just watch what you drink.
Sacks: Guess who's on the phone for you.
Lamb: Someone who wants to sit on hold while you play stupid games.
Sacks: (Suggestively.) Martina Vasquez.
Lamb: Martina Vasquez? The hottie from Channel 9?
Lamb: (to Veronica, who is pretending to be Martina.) If you'd like, I can keep you in the loop with this sort of stuff.
Keith: (Picks up the phone in the Mars kitchen) Hello?Q
Veronica: (Quickly.) Dad, I'm on the phone.
Keith: Oh, sorry, honey! Let me know when you're off! (Hangs up.)
Veronica: (Resuming her accent.) Sheriff ... you were saying you'd be able to keep me in the loop? (Lamb quickly hangs up the phone and stares at it.)
Veronica: The Pi Sigs are doing their "Sex Quest" again. Collecting points for conquests? Think that's such a good idea at a university with a serial rapist on the loose?
Dick: You raise an uninteresting point. But hey, don't worry your pretty head about your pal Dick. My points are in order courtesy of Miss Bonnie Capistrano. Her curvature of the spine is hardly noticeable. But I still got the handicapped bonus.
Veronica: You're repugnant, Dick.
Dick: Seriously, you can hardly notice it.
Veronica: Ever stop to think that the Pi Sig's "Sex Quest" might be connected to your Pi Sig president getting his head shaved, like it's a warning? Or retribution or something?
Dick: Actually, that kind of makes sense. Okay, I'm so not supposed to be telling you this, but it's way too good. So, not only did Chip get Kojaked, someone put a Roman numeral on one of those little plastic Easter eggs and stuck it in his where-the-sun-don't-shine place. And you know where that is.
Veronica: (staring at Dick wide-eyed and open-mouthed before smiling slightly.) Worst. Easter egg hunt. Ever.
Veronica: Do you know what he did with it?
Dick: If it's not in his hope chest, I'm thinking he threw it out.
Veronica: When is your garbage collected?
Dick: And you think I'm "repungent."
Veronica: Yes, Dick. Yes, I do.
Fern: Why are you following me around?
Veronica: Fulfilling my gym requirement. Yoga had a written final.
Dick: (Seeing his "Sex Quest" partner walk out of the frat house.) What the hell, Bonnie?!
Bonnie: That's exactly what I was thinking. Another cute frat boy. What the hell?
Wallace: What am I doing?
Veronica: Telling me what these numbers mean.
Wallace: They mean we got some twisted sickos here. Anything else I can help you with, that's free of charge.
Keith: Morning.
Veronica: Yes, it is. It came a little bit earlier than I would have liked.
Wallace: Why would someone stick an egg -?
Veronica: That's what I'm trying to find out. (Veronica looks at the numbers written down in front of her) Driver's license number? Check number?
Wallace: Just one egg, right?
Veronica: Wallace!
Veronica: It's almost like you don't wanna help. (Glares at Wallace faux-seriously.)
Keith: Morning.
Veronica: Yes, it is. It came a little bit earlier than I would have liked.
Hallie: You're blocking my sun.
Veronica: Oh! Is that yours? (Fake bimbo laugh.) I'm so sorry!
Veronica: (To Hallie.) Your face is getting a little pinkish; you should flip.
Veronica: You having a job? Shock right there! It requiring that you wear a plastic bag on your hand while waiting for Fido to kick out a lodger? That makes me dizzy.
Hallie: You don't know the first thing about me, Veronica.
Veronica: I know like eight, possibly nine things. But you're right. I have no idea which one is first. Is it that you're a Theta Beta that'd do anything for her sorority?
Hallie: One time Mr. Rose was taking a nap and I saw Brant stroking his hair. So completely creepy! Oh! And just a couple of weeks ago Mr. Rose asked him to help him with an anniversary party for Mrs. Rose and Brant threw a teacup at the wall. I mean, the guy's been married for ten years and Brant thinks he's going to switch teams for a sorry tea-cup throwing ass? I don't think so!
Hallie: God! What's with all the questions? What's next? Do you want to know where I buried Jimmy Hoffman?
Veronica: Dustin's brother?
Hallie: Oh ... and speaking of, you'll be happy to know, Karen? Our den mother? We had a car wash to raise enough money for another round of Chemo. (Sarcastically.) Stay sweet, Veronica.
Veronica: I don't know about you but I am dripping with information.
Keith: And I have so much information, I have no place left inside for food.
Veronica: Apparently Brant is the Smithers to Mr. Rose's Monty Burns. There are tales of hair stroking, swimfanian-like love; Mr. Rose asked for help planning his ten-year wedding anniversary; Brant's response? Throwing a teacup.
Keith: A ten-year wedding anniversary? (Slams his hands down on his desk.) Have I taught you nothing?! What do we call a tenth anniversary in the P.I. bus?
Veronica: (Light dawning on her face.) Dine and ditch.
Veronica: (From the top of the fence.) This is just like that time we went to Disneyland! If I have another altercation with Snow White and her disapproving dwarfs, you're taking Sneezy this time.
Veronica: (Peeking through the bars at Keith and whispering.) The park is closed. The walrus out front should have told you.
Keith: I'm a private investigator. Cyrus O'Dell hired me to find you.
Selma: Poor Cyrus. He can't get anything right, can he?
Selma: You were at the reception.
Keith: This is my daughter, Veronica. She works with me ... occasionally.
Veronica: (Pointing at Keith.) Ryan. (Then at herself.) Tatum. When he gets in a jam, I make with the cute.
Keith: Are you in some sort of trouble?
Selma: I will be if you tell anyone you saw me, so I would appreciate it if you didn't. I can appreciate it monetarily if that's necessary.
Selma: Just good old-fashioned blackmail. My husband knows about my lover, and he's demanded I "disappear" until after our tenth anniversary.
Veronica: (Patting Keith on the chest in congratulations for the good guess.) The dine 'n' ditch. What? He'd only wind up with ten million instead of a hundred?
Keith: You know, I'm sorry if this is out of line, but plenty of couples have split over infidelity. I'm sure you can find a lawyer who could get you out of this less expensively.
Selma: Have you ever been a walking punch line, Mr. Mars? I mean, on a national scale?
Keith: (Sharing a look with Veronica.) Actually ...
Wallace: So the plan's in motion?
Veronica: As we speak. We found the perfect eyewitness to the "kidnapping."
Wallace: That's not me, is it? (Grins.)
Veronica: Whatever happened to "winter, spring, summer, or fall; all I got to do is call, and you'll be there?"
Lamb: Cute young girlfriend, rich older wife. I'm kinda shocked I'm not investigating a murder.
Dean: I'm grateful for your help but a little surprised I didn't get a discount -- repeat customer and all.
Keith: I didn't charge you for the photocopies or the stamps.
Dean: Oh, that was nice.
Selma: Who knew the cavalry would be so handsome?
Dean: Don't be nice to me Selma, it'll ruin everything.
Hallie: I know you think I'm some kind of gold digger, but I love Budd.
Veronica: And all of his beautiful money? Or is true love so blind you didn't notice that he's an adulterer, older than your father and confined to a wheelchair?
Hallie: Budd Rose is more of a man that you could ever begin to handle.
Veronica: Slow down Anna-Nicole, you're skeevin' me out. And the fact is I don't care if he's Ron Jeremy on wheels. You wanna impress me? Tell me the truth about Patrice Petrelli.
Nish: Veronica Mars. Well, I'm impressed with your tenacity if not your politics.
Lord of the Flies (Referenced by the episode title.)
Lord of the Flies is a novel written by William Golding in 1954. The title is in reference to the Hebrew Beelzebub which means "god of the fly" or, more commonly, a synonym for Satan. It is one of the most important novels in the new Young Adult fiction genre that emerged in post-war 1950/60's, focusing on the unique problems which occur when a child is transforming into an adult. Another novel typical of the genre is Catcher in the Rye.
"There is a beast, but it's only us."
The story takes place during World War II. A plane is shot down over the ocean while attempting to evacuate schoolboys (aged six to twelve) from England. None of the adults survive the crash and the boys are left to fend for themselves on a deserted island. Among the boys are Ralph, Jack and Piggy. Ralph is a charismatic, blond boy resembling a boxer who is voted in as their leader; Jack is the leader of a schoolboy choir (that eventually becomes his team of hunters), jealous of Ralph's leadership and competitive; Piggy is the slightly pudgy nerd who needs his glasses to survive (glasses that are used to make fire) and is often the voice of civil reason throughout the text though his patronizing approach to rules makes him unlikable.
Though Ralph is irritated by Piggy, he listens to his advice: first using a large conch shell to call other survivors to the beach, then attempting to make rules and light a fire so that they can be seen by passing ships/planes. Jack quickly becomes obsessed with perfecting his hunting skills, he doesn't care about any other contributions to the group (including a signal fire for their potential rescue). Ralph is more concerned with trying to get rescued. Piggy wants to make sure they stay civilized.
To Jack, those who hunt are the fittest on the island -- the survivors and the powerful. His prey are the wild pigs on the island, pigs that successfully evade him the first time he tries to kill one. Next time however, the hunters catch their kill sparking a wild, primal and bloody celebration of success, freedom and dominance. The hunters, however, were meant to be maintaining the signal fire and their raucous celebration occurs while a ship is passing, none-the-wiser about the island's inhabitants.
The event sparks an angry feud between Jack and Ralph, resulting in Jack punching Piggy when he tries to keep peace -- one half of Piggy's spectacles break. Piggy is the symbol of civilization and he is always the character that gets hurt when Jack and Ralph clash.
The character that everyone should be worrying about however is the somewhat sadistic Roger who, under Jack's influence, is becoming obsessed with the hunt because of the thrill of hurting something (rather than anything symbolic). The choirboys quickly become a hunting pack, their black robes are replaced with painted faces -- the masks that allow them the freedom of enjoying the hunt without social rules -- and they reenact their successful hunt with a tribal dance highlighting their savagery. It becomes obvious that the children --- being immature children -- don't understand why Ralph needs to keep the fire going, nor the need to escape, they don't like working and rules, and it's much easier to live under Jack's rule where every boy is a hunter looking out for himself and the pack.
Two planes engage in a dog fight over the island and though one of the pilot parachutes out of the plane, he dies as he floats down on the island. The children don't understand what he is and are convinced that he is the "beastie" that the six year olds have been paranoid about since they first crashed on the island. Jack demands that they hunt down the beastie and kill it (even though it's already dead), but Ralph doesn't want to. Jack demands a vote to see if the boys want him to replace Ralph as leader. No one votes. He asks if anyone wants to come with him, nobody answers, and he runs off in tears. But later, Ralph realizes that most of the older boys have left with Jack forming a second, more violent tribe living under Jack's rule.
A more detailed account of the novel's plot can be found here, but basically by the end of the novel the struggle between Jack and Ralph's tribes has become a fight to the death and Ralph is alone on his side. Jack only realizes he needs fire when he loses it and sends a team out to attack Piggy for his glasses; the conch shell is broken; Roger murders Piggy later when Ralph and Piggy confront Jack's tribe about their actions (not the first murder -- all of the children killed Simon, a gentle soul, when they thought he was the "beastie"); Jack tries to kill Ralph by starting a raging fire and when that fails sends his pack out to hunt him down. In other words, the civilization fall apart, they go to war and give in to baser cruel instincts. Ironically, it is the fire set to kill Ralph that eventually gets spotted by a passing ship. As Ralph runs for his life from the tribe hunting him down, he almost runs into a Naval officer who has come to investigate if there are people on the island.
The novel has one of the most effective endings I've ever encountered and one of the most controversial. The external world discovers them, adults resume their places as authorities and the children -- murderous and barbrous as they were by the end -- burst into scared, childish tears.
It can be argued that William Golding's novel is a shocking refutation of the Romantic notion of childhood 'innocence' -- that children are the purest form of man, incapable of evil and naively playful. Golding's deliberate refutation of this naive conviction is most obvious by the numerous references to Coral Island by R.M. Ballantyne (1857) with characters called Ralph, Peterkin and Jack who go on a series of innocent, unrealistic sugarcoated adventures on an island. Golding's novel is disturbing because these children become animals in their wilderness, quickly dissolving barely formed concepts of civilization because giving in to basic instincts is more fun. Today, the novel is considered a must-read but still makes people nervous, with constant debates over the legitimacy of Golding's central premise: Are children really capable of this kind of evil when left to their own devices? So controversial are the novel's themes that, the American Library Association listed it as one of America's "100 Most Frequently Refuted Books of 1990-2000."
The novel has been turned into a film twice, first by Peter Brook (1963) and more recently by Harry Hook (1990) and - oh look! I can rhyme, mom!
Interestingly, there was an animated series called The Weekenders that more directly references the title of this episode. "Lord of the Pies" is one of the ever-changing themes at the local pizza place; Lor's 14 brothers run around chasing a pig.
California (Referenced by Veronica as she refers to her mother as the last flower child in the state.)
California is the thirty-first state in the United States and spans the southern half of the Pacific Coast. It is the largest state in population (thirty-seven million) and the third largest in area (158,402 square miles). California is home to several significant economic regions such as Hollywood, the California Central Valley, Silicon Valley, and the Wine Country. It is also home to several important cities and towns (Sacramento, Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, etc).
The name is believed to be a derivation of the mythical paradise of Calafia portrayed in Amadis de Guala, a sixteenth century Spanish romance by Garci Rodriguez de Montalvo. Others believe the name to be a play on the Spanish words for "hot as an oven;" "cali" meaning "hot" and "fornus" meaning oven.
Different regions of California have very different climates, depending the latitude and proximity to the coast. Most of the state has a Mediterranean climate, with rainy winters and dry summers. 60.5% of the population speaks English, 25.8% speak Spanish, 2.6% speak Chinese, and the rest speak Tagalog, Vietnamese, or some other language. The languages of the indigenous people number more than one hundred, making California one of the most linguistically diverse areas in the world.
Flower Child (Referenced by Veronica as she mentions her mother to the newspaper editor.)
The term "Flower Child," or, rather, "Flower Children," originated in San Francisco in the summer of 1967 (called the Summer of Love). The Summer of Love was a pivotal event in the development of the counterculture of the 1960 in the United States. Returning from the Monterey Pop Festival that took place in June 1967 and was billed as "three days of music, love and flowers," the newly minted Flower Children spread the love to their respective hometowns.
Lianne, is that you?
In April of 1969 the term acquired political connotation, when the San Francisco Bay Area Flower Children attempted to build a People's Park by planting flowers and trees in Berkley, California. The authorities (who must have had something against trees, parks and people) tore down the park and installed an eight-foot tall wire fence around the perimeter. After the event, planting flowers became symbolic of peaceful resistance.
Flower Children was simply a synonym for hippie, and was descriptive of their tendency to wear flowers as symbols of love and peace. The term was originally only used in plural, describing a group rather than individuals. Later on the term Flower Child, as a singular, became synonymous with Generation X children who were raised by hippie parents (or had unusual names, like Moon Unit, River or Rainbow).
I wonder if Lianne Mars was that kind of a Flower Child: A product of a certain environment rather than a hippie herself. Its hard to imagine a one-time Neptune High prom queen protesting something by, say, planting a bush in front of the Vandenberg Air Force Base, while singing Scott McKenzie's rendition of the song "San Francisco" and saying things like "groovy, man," "can you dig it?!" or "right on!"
Just for fun!
Watts (Referenced by the editor as he describes the famous photo of Selma throwing her money there.)
Watts, part of Los Angeles Selma Rose chose to bestow her trust fund on in such a "sane" and "well-thought out" manner, is surrounded by the cities of South Gate and Lynwood, and areas of Willowbrook and Florence. Its boundaries are Century Boulevard on the north, Imperial Highway on the south, Mona Boulevard on the east, and Central Avenue on the west. Santa Ana Boulevard, Compton Avenue, Wilmington Avenue, and 108th Street are its principal thoroughfares. Watts is located in two Zip Codes: 90002 and 90059. So very, very far away from the prestigious 090909, in more ways than one.
The area started as a Mexican settlers' cattle ranch as part of the Rancho La Tajauta, which received the land grant in 1820. In the 1870s La Tajuata was sold and converted into smaller farms. The railroad was built, and in 1907 Watts became incorporated as a separate city, which they named after Charles H. Watts, a civic leader and landowner. The city was annexed to Los Angeles in 1926. In those times the community was mostly white and Mexican, but many black railroad workers have settled there over time. By 1940s Watts became predominately black. During World War II many projects were built to house war industry workers. As whites continued to move to suburbs, the area became almost entirely black by the 1960s.
The growing unrest due to unfair treatment of the black community led to the explosive events known as the Watts Riot on August 11, 1965. The riot was triggered by the arrest for drunk driving of a black youth by the California Highway Patrol. Though this occurred outside Watts, the area was by far the most damaged. The aftermath included the rise of gangs, gang violence and drug use and trafficking (especially crack cocaine), which reached epidemic proportions by the late 1980s. More riots occurred in 1992, followed by a lot of African Americans leaving Watts, and Mexican and Central American immigrants moving in. Numerous fights between the blacks and the Hispanics ensued. For decades Watts' neighborhoods have been developing and implementing strategies to overcome the problems of violence and poverty by encouraging the arts and other initiatives.
Seriously, Selma, couldnt you have contributed your trust fund to that? So much more productive, and no one would have hauled you off to jail for a month!
Mexican (Mexico) (Referenced by Veronica when she refers to Logan and Mercer's trip.)
Mexico is a country located in North America, approximately 753,665 square miles in size, bordered at the north by the United States, and at the south with Guatemala and Belize in Central America. It is the northernmost and westernmost country in Latin America, and with a population of 106.5 million, Mexico is also the most populous Spanish-speaking country in the world. The official name is Estados Unidos Mexicanos, which translates as the United Mexican States. The term State of Mexico (Estado de Mexico) does not refer to the country, but only to one state within Mexico, located near the center of the country adjacent to the Federal District.
U.S. citizens, like Keith's crazy bail-jumper, have been known to cross the border into Mexico to evade U.S. authorities and skip tracers (like Papa Mars). Most often, these individuals cross the border into Tijuana due to its proximity to the world's busiest border crossing. What is interesting is that criminals continue to cross into Mexico to evade criminal prosecution despite the extradition treaty that has been in place between the U.S. and Mexico since 1980.
According to EscapingJustice.com, the Treaty provides for extradition of a party who has been charged with or found guilty of an offense committed in the United States, who has fled to Mexico. An offense is extraditable if it is a crime in both countries and punishable by incarceration for a period of one year or more. The Extradition Treaty further provides that where the offense for which extradition is sought is punishable by death, extradition may be refused unless assurances are given that the death penalty shall not be imposed, and if imposed, shall not be executed.
A Mexican refers to pertaining to Mexico.
Thousand Island (Referenced by Selma warning O'Dell that he has some on his face.)
Thousand Island dressing is a well-known variety of salad dressing commonly made of mayonnaise, ketchup, and a mixture of finely chopped vegetables (such as pickles, onions, bell peppers, and/or green olives) that sometimes includes chopped hard-boiled egg. A variant of Russian dressing, Thousand Island dressing was invented in the first decades of the twentieth century by Sophia LaLonde who substituted mayonnaise for the yogurt used in Russian dressing, and added pickle relish, chives and occasionally chopped, hard-boiled eggs. The dressing was popularized by one of her dinner guests, actress May Irwin.
Although no one is precisely sure when it was invented, Thousand Island dressing has been cited in print since at least 1912. As the dressing was very popular in Chicago, there is an alternate theory that the dressing was invented at Chicago's Blackstone Hotel in 1910, but most sources identify LaLonde as the creator. In the 1950's, Thousand Island dressing became a standard condiment, used on sandwiches and salads alike, a tradition that continues to this day. For example, Thousand Island dressing is a standard topping for a Reuben sandwich. The "special sauce" used on McDonald's Big Mac hamburger sandwich is really just a sweeter variation of Thousand Island dressing. Wendy's uses it as a dressing for its promotional sandwich, the Wendy Melt, and the Steak 'n Shake restaurant chain uses it as a dressing on several of its sandwich "melts."
There are two main theories as to the origin of the dressing's name: One says that May Irwin named it after LaLonde's home in the Thousand Islands region of upstate New York and Eastern Ontario; the other tale is that the name refers to the multitude of small specks that dot the dressing. My money is on the first explanation.
Mojito (Referenced by Lamb as he suggests to O'Dell that Selma's probably sobbing into one.)
A mojito is a Cuban cocktail that first gained popular in the United States in the late 1980's. The ingredients can vary slightly, but here is a typical mojito recipe:
- 2 ounces White Rum
1/2 ounce Lime Juice
1 teaspoon Sugar
6 whole Mint Leaves
2 ounces Soda Water
Celtic Literature (Referenced by Veronica noticing Fern's book "The Female Voice in ...")
Celtic literature refers to any literature about Celts, or elements of Irish literature, British literature or Celtic-influenced literature from elsewhere. Although often written in English, Celtic literature is also likely to be composed in one of the Celtic languages: Irish, Welsh, Cornish, Manx, Scottish Gaelic and Breton or their older forms. Literature in written in Scots and Ulster Scots may also be included within the concept.
The older surviving Celtic texts generally concern stories about deities and mythology, while most British-sourced Celtic literature is generally centered around the legend of King Arthur. This is a feature that it shares with Welsh writings, though it is more prevalent amongst British texts. Celtic myths, particularly those concerning the Irish myths (also known as cycles) were preserved through oral tradition, probably between the period of Viking settlements in Ireland, from the 8th to the 11th century AD. They were composed by bards, who would recite the stories entirely in verse.
The Irish sagas weren't written down until the twelfth century AD by monastical scholars. These tales were recorded in two main manuscripts: the Book of Leinster and the Book of the Dun Cow. These were collection of hundreds of stories about the Ulaid Cycle and Fenian Cycle. Another noteworthy manuscript is the Yellow Book of Lecan written in the fourteenth century, containing a large number of stories. The Colloquy of the Ancients can be found in Scottish manuscript called the Book of the Dean of Lismore, in the sixteenth century. It should be noted that since most Irish myths or cycles were translated by monks, a Christian influence not inherent to the original texts has been incorporated to most of these stories.
More authors added more stories to the Celtic myths, in the sixteenth and seventeenth century. Notable works include those of James Macpherson (1736-1796), a Scottish poet. He caused controversy when he claimed his work to be that of Oisn, a warrior-poet of the third century AD. It was discovered that much of the works were really his own invention. Another well-known author was the Irish writer William Butler Yeats (1865-1939). Yeats and Macpherson were responsible for renewing people's interests in Celtic myths. They also influenced the Romantic movements in art as well as literature.
The main source for the Welsh myths were the Mabinogion, which contains eleven tales. Some of these tales are related to or belong to a specific series or cycle. Dating the individual tales in the Mabinogion is difficult, because they were probably composed by several different writers at various times. There are even earlier tales of Welsh legends, such as those composed by Taliesin and Aneirin in the sixth century. Surviving examples of Scottish literature from this period are inscriptions made by the Picts in stone. These inscriptions have not yet been fully translated or understood. Cornish writings featured giants and other mythical creatures.
There have been modern texts based around Celtic literature. Bernard Cornwell writes about the Arthurian legends in his series The Warlord Chronicles. Other writers of Celtic literature in English include Dylan Thomas and Sian James.
I Am Woman (Hear Me Bore) (Referenced by Veronica when she describes Fern's book.)
"I am a woman, hear me bore," is Veronica's funny, funny joke to Fern, when she sees her carrying a book entitled The Female Voice in Celtic Literature. Ah, the feminist humor! Or, rather, anti-feminist, which is only slightly funnier than the rape humor Veronica so freely indulged in this episode. Does anyone remember the time when Veronica herself was a strong female voice, or when she would have been outraged at anyone making fun of a crime victim, or even when she made better jokes? I do, fondly. Sigh.
The line "I am woman, hear me roar," parodied by Veronica, comes from the song by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton, that was adapted as a feminist anthem in the 1970's. This battle cry is as often misused as it is ridiculed. And Veronica, of all people, should be ashamed of resorting to the glib parody (then again, one can hardly fault Veronica entirely if the writers of the show are not capable of more than a glib parody of feminism itself).
- I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again.
- Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman.
- You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul.
- I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand.
The Big Lebowski (Referenced by the scene with Brandt, Keith and Budd's wall of awards.)
Written and directed by the Coen Brothers (Ethan and Joel), The Big Lebowski stars Jeff Bridges as The Dude. Not quite your normal movie fare, the convoluted plot weaves about eccentric characters as The Dude attempts to replace his urinated-upon carpet. Yes, you read that correctly. This cult classic also stars John Goodman and Julianne Moore. Long-time Coen favorite John Turturro is also featured.
In a scene from the film, Walter (Goodman) convinces the Dude (Bridges) to go see the Big Lebowski, seeking restitution for his rug. (The goons who urinated on it thought they were in the Big Lebowski's house.) When the Dude goes to meet Lebowski, he's greeted by his employee Brandt, who shows the Dude around the house while they're waiting for the Big L (who, like Budd Rose, uses a wheelchair). He shows him Lebowski's study and his various commendations and awards, including a "key to the city," his picture with Nancy Reagan and a puzzling plaque that the Dude starts touching. This causes Brandt to remove the Dude's finger from the plaque and when the Dude starts touching it again, he says, "Please don't touch that." The Dude doesn't really listen and touches it again, causing Brandt to shudder just a bit.
Kojak(ed) (Referenced by Dick as he and Veronica discuss what happened to Chip.)
"Who loves ya, baby?" The question, I'm sure, Chip is pondering. Well, not his fraternity brothers, it would seem. Some sing suggestive songs, and Dick here makes a glib Telly Savalas reference. Well, at least this one's about Chip's head.
Kojak, a TV series that ran on CBS from 1973 to 1978, starred Emmy and Golden Globe winner Telly Savalas as the titular character, the New York City cop Lt. Theo Kojak. The character was famous for his dark wit, tendency to bend the rules in order to see justice done (hmm, reminds me of someone!), and his preference for lollipops. But perhaps the biggest thing he was known for was his shiny bold head. To which Dick, in his stillborn attempt at wit, was alluding.
Bowchickabowwow!
The series portrayed Kojak as an incorruptible crime solver who didn't mind stretching the truth and skating around orders to find the culprit and avoid the system's pitfalls that, at the time, included playing fast and lose with civil rights of victims and criminals alike. And he looked good doing it. Snappy dresser, that one, and a lot of fun with his trademark lollipop (which, apparently Telly Savalas adopted in order to quit smoking) and his catch phrase "Who loves ya, baby?" Hmm, is anyone else thinking Keith Mars watched an episode or two in his time?
The show's gritty and unflinching approached helped pave the way for such series as Homicide: Life on the Street, NYPD Blue, and Law & Order.
Roman Numerals (Referenced by Dick when he tells Veronica what was found in the egg.)
Roman numerals is a numeral system that originated in -- gasp! -- ancient Rome, which was adapted from Etruscan numerals. The system used in classical antiquity was slightly modified in the Middle Ages to produce the system we use today. It is based on certain letters which are given values as numerals.
Roman numerals use a basic set of seven symbols:
- I = 1 (one)
V = 5 (five)
X = 10 (ten)
L = 50 (fifty)
C = 100 (one hundred)
D = 500 (five hundred)
M = 1,000 (one thousand)
Today, Roman numerals are commonly used in numbered lists (such as an outline), clockfaces, pages preceding the main body of a book, chord triads in music analysis, the numbering of movie sequels, book publication dates, successive political leaders or children with identical names, and the numbering of some sporting or entertainment events, and as a scoring system developed by piggish, misogynistic frat boys.
Hope Chest (Referenced by Dick as he suggests to Veronica that Chip probably didn't keep the plastic egg.)
A hope chest is a box, generally carved or constructed from wood, that contains items typically stored by unmarried young women in anticipation of future marriages or of their married lives. In fact, they were originally called wedding chests, but Americans later called them hope chests as in "hope for marriage" and the promise of love and security. In Australia and the United Kingdom, hope chests are commonly referred to as "glory boxes."
Hope chests were traditionally used to store hand-embroidered linens, to protect them until the bride was ready to use them in her new home. Other items commonly stored in a hope chest or glory box include clothing (such as a special dress), table linens, towels, bed linens, quilts and occasionally dishware. I've never seen any mention of a plastic Easter egg anywhere and since I doubt it holds any "special" memories for Chip (at least not any he wants to treasure), I would have to agree that if he had a hope chest, the egg wouldn't be welcome in it.
Yoga (Referenced by Veronica snarking to Fern that she's following her to fulfill a gym requirement.)
Yoga, which means "union" in Sanskrit, is a family of spiritual practices and thought that originated in India. The four main types of yoga are Karma, Bhakti, Jnana, and Raja. The asanas, or postures, of Hatha Yoga are a popular form fitness and meditative exercises in the West. Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism teach yoga as a means to enlightenment.
Modern yoga retains traditional elements of eastern religion, such as moral principles, postures designed to keep the body fit, spiritual philosophy, instruction by a guru, chanting mantras (sacred syllables), pranayama (breathing exercises), and stilling the mind through meditation.
"She always gets a replay. Never tilts at all." / Pinball Wizard (Referenced by Veronica to Dick after Bonnie mentions the pinball machine.)
Tommy, released in 1969, is the first of rock group, The Who's two full-scale rock operas, and the first musical work explicitly billed as a rock opera. In some older publications it is called Tommy (19141984). The opera was composed by Who guitarist Pete Townshend, with two tracks contributed by Who bassist John Entwistle and one fictitiously attributed to Who drummer Keith Moon, though actually written by Townshend.
The original 1965 album cover.
In 1975, the two record LP was turned into a star-studded musical film based on the concept album. It was directed by Ken Russell and featured performances from some of the biggest names in both rock-and-roll and film including Ann-Margaret, Jack Nicholson, Tina Turner, Elton John, Eric Clapton, and of course the members of The Who. Ann-Margret received a Golden Globe Award for her performance, and was also nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress. Pete Townshend was also nominated for an Oscar for his work in scoring and adapting the music for the film.
The 1975 film's tagline: "Your senses will never be the same."
I'm guessing that's particularly true if you were watching
it with the aid of, ah, chemical enhancements.
The story told in the rock opera is that of a young British boy named Tommy Walker. Tommy's father, RAF Group Captain Walker, has gone off to fight in World War I. Before Tommy is born, Captain Walkers plane is shot down from the sky leaving everyone to believe that he is dead. Six years after his apparent demise, Tommys mother meets a man named Frank Hobbs at a holiday camp and becomes involved with him.
Unbeknownst to the world, Captain Walker is very much alive. When he finally arrives home, instead of a tearful reunion with his loving family, Walker finds his wife in bed with Hobbs. In a rage of passion, he attacks Hobbs and kills him. Tommy is a witness to the terrible crime and so is told over and over again that he "didn't hear it, didn't see it" and "won't say nothing to no-one." As a result, Tommy becomes deaf, dumb, and blind -- utterly lost to his mother and to the world. (Man that would have come in handy last season during the endless reign of the Donut! Not to mention the Hannah arc.) In desperation, mommy dearest turns to a variety of characters including the preacher, the acid queen, and doctor for cures to Tommy's ailment, but without success.
Tommy's salvation and cure comes from a strange chance of fate. Alone in a junkyard at night, Tommy comes into contact with a device that will change his life forever. A pinball machine scattered among the refuse heaps allows Tommy to rise to national prominence and fame. Tommy's pinball prowess transforms him into a cult hero and many followers attend his holiday camps to find a new perspective on life. And right there you KNOW it's a movie because who ever heard of a nationally acclaimed pinball champ who just happened to head up a cult of followers that achieved enlightenment by attending his Christmas Camp?! Of course, stranger things have happened. I mean, Veronica was able to conveniently forget that her beloved ex slept with her when he thought she was his sister (to which I say a heartfelt eww!) so I suppose anything is possible.
As often happens in these unstable situations, Tommy's meteoric rise to fame ends in an equally impressive crash. Tommy's cult begins making unreasonable demands on him and eventually revolt against him and abandon him. Tragically (or not so tragically in the movie), his family is killed during the riot. However, it is only when Tommy is alone, abandoned by everyone in his life, that he is finally able to achieve new enlightenment.
The story of the film varied from that of the original opera in several ways: The movie takes place in the wake of World War II rather than WWI, largely to accommodate several visuals in the movie that would have been far beyond the original time period. Also, in the film, it is Tommys father that is killed by Hobbs (who later becomes his stepfather) in the heated bedroom confrontation. This change leads to another in that in the film, Tommys pinball gifts are exploited by his mother and step-father in order to reap financial gain that will allow them to live a life of excess and debauchery. (A theme perfectly realized during the scene where Ann-Margret drunkenly cavorts in a cascade of baked beans because she can. And yes, I said baked beans.) Another major change between the album and the film is that rather than having the original album tracks dubbed over the film, the songs were re-recorded by the actors and musicians playing in the film.
In one of the film's most pivotal scenes, Tommy is challenged to a pinball play-off by the reigning pinball champion, The Pinball Wizard (played by Elton John). In this scene, Elton John sings what is arguably the best known song from both the film and the original album, Pinball Wizard where he expresses his amazement at Tommy's pinball prowess and figuratively passes the crown of pinball king to him.
Sir Elton John as The Pinball Wizard.
The lyrics of the song (from which Veronica bogarted her catty description of Dicks latest conquest) are:
- Ever since I was a young boy
I've played the silver ball
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played them all
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any amusement hall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball
He stands like a statue
Becomes part of the machine
Feeling all the bumpers
Always playing clean
He plays by intuition
The digit counters fall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball
He's a pinball wizard
There's got to be a twist
A pinball wizard
He's got such a supple wrist
How do you think he does it?
(I don't know)
What makes him so good?
He ain't got no distractions
Can't hear those buzzers and bells
Don't see lights a flashin'
Plays by sense of smell
Always gets a replay
Never tilts at all
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball
I thought I was
The Bally table king
But I just handed
My pinball crown to him
Even on my usual table
He can beat my best
His disciples lead him in
And he just does the rest
He's got crazy flipper fingers
Never seen him fall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball
The Incredible, (In)Edible Egg (Referenced by Veronica, describing the plastic egg after Morty finds it.)
The American Egg Board (AEB) kicked off its "The Incredible Edible Egg" campaign in 1977, when egg cosumption had been on the decline for three decades. The industry wanted to promote eggs as part of a healthy and balanced diet. There has been and still is much confusion over the cholesterol content of eggs. There is dietary cholesterol, which is consumed through eggs, poultry, and meat, and then there's blood cholesterol that the body makes. And dietary cholesterol does not become blood cholesterol directly following consumption. Eggs are actually good for a heart-healthy diet.
Health professionals say that it's really high amounts of saturated fats in a person's diet that causes his or her blood cholesterol level to rise. But if you're worried about the cholesterol, eggs whites are fine because they don't contain cholesterol. And as with most foods, stay away from the fried eggs because some oils and butter have saturated fat.
Santa Fe (Referenced by Roger when he suggests to Keith that Selma's probably just out of town.)
Santa Fe is the capital and third largest city in New Mexico, with a population of about 70,631. Since 1598, Santa Fe de Nuevo Mxico had originally been a province of New Spain, but following the Mexican War of Independence in 1810 the area became part of the Mexican territory. In 1846 the United States declared war on Mexico and claimed all of the New Mexico Territory. New Mexico officially became part of the United States in 1848 through the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. New Mexico didn't become a state, however, until 1912, with Santa Fe as its capital.
At 6,989 feet above sea level, Santa Fe is the highest located capital city in the United States. The climate consists of warm summers and cool winters, and the average temperatures range from 14F to 86F, depending on the season. Most buildings in the city reflect a Spanish Pueblo Revival architectural style. A plan for a better downtown Santa Fe is currently in the works. Sculpture is very important to the city's character. There are many statues throughout the city of Saint Francis, who was the patron saint of animals. Understandably, there are also many statues of animals in the city.
Tourism is a big part of the economy. The annual Fiestas de Santa Fe festival attracts many visitors each September, which is also around the time when the aspens in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains change color due to the autumn season. The city also has a popular skiing area called Ski Santa Fe.
Fortune 500 (Referenced by Keith when he discusses Selma's business with Roger.)
A list ranking the top five hundred United States corporations as measured by gross revenue compiled and published annually by Fortune magazine. Fortune 500 companies are among the biggest, most profitable, and most powerful companies in America. Each entry includes rank, name of company, headquarters, last year's rank and gross revenue in billions of dollars. Fortune calculates revenue using publicly available data, therefore private companies (those whose stock is not traded on a public market) are excluded from the list. U.S. subsidiaries of foreign companies are also excluded.
Asia (Referenced by Roger when he tells Keith that their company sells merchandise manufactured there.)
Asia is the largest and most populous continent on the planet. It covers 8.6% of the Earth's total surface area, or 29.4% of its land area, and it contains more than 60% of the world's human population. Asia is traditionally defined as part of the landmass of Africa-Eurasia -- with the western portion of the latter occupied by Europe -- lying east of the Suez Canal, east of the Ural Mountains, and south of the Caucasus Mountains and the Caspian and Black Seas.
There is some argument as to whether Asia in and of itself is actually a continent or if it is more accurately a region of the Africa-Eurasia continent. The boundaries of Asia are generally determined by several geographic features. The demarcation between Asia and Africa is the Isthmus of Suez and the Red Sea, while the boundary between Asia and Europe is commonly considered to run through the Dardanelles, the Sea of Marmara, the Bosporus, the Black Sea, the Caucasus Mountains, the Caspian Sea, the Ural River to its source, and the Ural Mountains to the Kara Sea near Kara, Russia.
Generally, geologists and physical geographers do not consider Asia and Europe to be separate continents. Physiographically, Asia is the major eastern constituent of the continent of Eurasia -- with Europe being a northwestern peninsula of the landmass -- or of Africa-Eurasia: Geologically, Asia, Europe, and Africa comprise a single continuous landmass (save the Suez Canal) and share a common continental shelf. Almost all of Europe and most of Asia sit atop the Eurasian Plate, adjoined on the south by the Arabian and Indian Plates, and with much of Siberia situated on the North American Plate.
In geography, there are two schools of thought. One school follows historical convention and treats Europe and Asia as different continents, categorizing subregions within them for more detailed analysis. The other school equates the word "continent" with a geographical region when referring to Europe, and use the term "region" to describe Asia in terms of physiography. Since, in linguistic terms, "continent" implies a distinct landmass, it is becoming increasingly common to substitute the term "region" for "continent" to avoid the problem of disambiguation altogether.
Given the scope and diversity of the landmass, it is sometimes not even clear exactly what "Asia" consists of. Some definitions exclude Turkey, the Middle East, Central Asia and Russia while only considering the Far East, Southeast Asia and the Indian Subcontinent to compose Asia. The term is sometimes used more strictly in reference to the Asia-Pacific region, which does not include the Middle East or Russia, but does include islands in the Pacific Ocean -- a number of which may also be considered part of Australasia or Oceania although Pacific Islanders are commonly not considered Asian.
Scrabble (Referenced by Wallace when he and Veronica are looking at the travel-sized tiles that were found in the egg.)
Scrabble is the oh so popular game in which players form words using individually lettered tiles on a board. The words are formed vertically and horizontally, like in a crossword, and must appear in the standard dictionary. Each letter is worth a certain amount of points, and when placed in a word, the points are added up for a total score. The more common a letter is used in everyday English, the less points it's worth. The board is also marked with 'premium' squares, which allow a boost in the total points: double letter, triple word, etc. (Scrabble Gameboard Design)
China (Referenced by Veronica as she and Wallace discuss Chip and the egg.)
People's Republic of China, also known as China (or PRC), is a state in East Asia. China has a coastline of over nine thousand miles and borders, among other countries, Vietnam, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Russia and North Korea. A socialist republic, China's capital is in Beijing, Shanghai is the country's largest city. At almost four million square miles, China is the third largest country by area with a varied landscape of desert (in the north) and mountainous humidity (in the east) with drier climates in the west.
It is also the world's most populous nation, with over 1.3 billion citizens and borders the most countries in the world. China is the world's fourth largest economy and second largest at purchasing power parity (which is predicted to become the largest by 2020) and represents China as a permanent member of the UN Security Council and APEC. China is the third largest exporter and importer in the world. Due to its large and stable population, its rapidly growing economy (+9.4% annually) and military spending (~ $84.4 billion) and other capabilities, China is often considered by analysts and commentators as an emerging superpower (see also Chinese Century and Asian century).
Flag of the People's Republic of China; The National Emblem of the PRC.
The present day location of China was the birthplace of the Chinese civilization that dates back to at least 1700 BC. China was officially founded as a state in October 1, 1949, during the closing stages of the Chinese Civil War by its first President Mao Zedong along with the Constitution of the People's Republic of China.
swimfan (Referenced by Hallie when she describes to Veronica how Brandt feels about Budd.)
swimfan (no capitalization) is a 2002 psychotic thriller directed by John Polson and written by Charles F. Bohl and Phillip Schneider that stars Jesse Bradford, Erika Christensen and Shiri Appleby. The film is largely considered a Fatal Attraction for the teenage set.
Ben Cronin (Jesse Bradford) is a star swimmer in high-school who we are told once had a "drug problem" -- although the film never bothers to tell us exactly which drug he had issues with. Ben seems like a nice guy and a good kid. He does well in school, is dating a sweet girl named Amy Miller (Shiri Appleby) and in addition to his swimming commitment, also works at the local hospital with his mother. An aspiring Olympian, Ben is training to impress a scout coming to watch him from Stanford.
The film's tagline: "Obsession.
Betrayal. Revenge. Some girls have all
the fun."
One night in the pool, Ben is cornered and seduced by savvy and sexy (and as it turns out insane) transfer student Madison Bell (Erika Christensen). Ben, temporarily blinded by his hormones, thinks with the wrong head and indulges in an ill-advised one-night stand with Madison. In the light of day, Ben realizes his mistake and wants only to put it in the past. Unfortunately, Madison has other ideas. When Ben rejects her in favor of his girlfriend Amy, Madison becomes obsessed with him and turns his life into a living hell. I think there is a lesson to be learned here so I trust you all are paying close attention.
Jimmy (Hoffman) Hoffa (Referenced by Hallie sarcastically asking Veronica if she's going to ask her where he's buried.)
Alongside the death of Elvis and JFK and the grassy knoll, the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa is one of the more popular subjects of conspiracy theorists. Born on Valentine's Day in 1913, James Riddle "Jimmy" Hoffa was a noted American labor union leader, who began his activities in 1933 and continued through to 1967. In '67 he was convicted of attempted bribery of a grand juror and sentenced to fifteen years in prison. However, in 1971, Hoffa was released when Richard Nixon commuted his sentence to time served on the condition he not participate in union activities for ten years.
The union leader planned to sue to inviolate that condition, but on July 30, 1975, he disappeared from the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox Restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, at about 2:30 p.m. His fate is a mystery that continues to this day and one that theorists spin many hypotheses about, most revolving around mafia connections that Hoffa held.
Dustin (Hoffman) (Referenced by Veronica as a comeback to Hallie's Jimmy Hoffman reference.)
- Hallie: God! What's with all the questions? What's next? Do you want to know where I buried Jimmy Hoffman?
Veronica: Dustin's brother?
Dustin Hoffman, prominent American stage and screen actor, was born August 8, 1937, in Los Angeles. Hoffman studied music at the Santa Monica City College and from 1956 to 1958 acted at the Pasadena Playhouse. Moving to New York, he studied at the Actors' Studio, and started his career on Broadway. Later he amassed a wide range of movie roles. The list of the films he starred in is long and impressive, the most notable of which are The Graduate, Midnight Cowboy, All the President's Men, Kramer vs. Kramer (for which he won an Academy Award), Tootsie, Rain Man (his second Academy Award winning performance), Wag the Dog, Runaway Jury and more.
Some of his quotes, I am certain, Aaron Echolls would have found interesting: "If you have this enormous talent, it's got you by the balls, it's a demon. You can't be a family man and a husband and a caring person and be that animal. Dickens wasn't that nice a guy." Sounds like our favorite movie star and murderer. Then again, if that was his guide, I think Aaron grossly overestimated his own talent.
"Once you're a star you're dead already. You're embalmed" Now that is the truth. Sometimes in more ways than one.
Smithers / Monty Burns / The Simpsons (Referenced by Veronica describing to Keith the relationship between Brandt and Budd.)
Charles Montgomery Burns is Homer Simpson's boss and owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in Matt Groening's animated series The Simpsons. Burns is voiced by Harry Shearer, and his catchphrase is the word "Excellent" muttered in a low, sinister voice as he tents his fingertips.
Burns is a staunch Republican and was member #29 of the Stonecutters (who made Steve Guttenberg a star long before Veronica Mars did). After the Stonecutters embarrassing fall from grace, Burns and the other former Stonecutters (except Homer Simpson) went on to form the No-Homers Club. Mr. Burns' inability to remember Homer's name would suggest that he is in that club more for status rather than any lasting anti-Homer sentiment.
He is the richest man in town and is shadowed nearly at all times by his loyal Personal Assistant, confidant, and adoring henchman, Waylon Smithers, Jr. (also voiced by Harry Shearer). Smithers appears to de facto run much of the plant's day-to-day administration. Despite his position as the plant's Executive Administrator his main job is tending to Mr. Burns. In fact, TheSimpsons.com lists some of Smithers' responsibilities as: Squeezing juice for Mr. Burns every morning, tucking Mr. Burns in at night, moistening Mr. Burns' eyeballs, assisting Mr. Burns with chewing and swallowing, lying to congress, and some light typing.
Smithers and Mr. Burns -- partners in crime.
Smithers is a closeted homosexual who, much like Brant, is madly in love with his boss. Mr. Burns seems as oblivious as Budd Rose to his lackey's true feelings for him. Although there have been no episodes of hair stroking or teacup throwing in Smithers' long history with his beloved employer, there has definitely been evidence of "swimfanian" level obsession. In fact, I think it is safe to say that Smithers way out creeps Brant in the "secret love for my boss-a-thon." For example: Smithers periodically has somewhat disturbing fantasies about Mr. Burns (in "Rosebud", Burns pops nude out of a birthday cake and sings "Happy Birthday, Mr. Smithers") and when his computer is turned on, it features a nude Burns saying "Hello Smithers, you're quite good at turning me on" in Burns' edited-together voice clips. And thats only the tip of the iceberg.
Smithers also has a tattoo of himself and Burns on his chest, with the caption 'boss of my heart.' Smithers has openly declared his love for Burns at least twice, most dramatically in Lisa the Skeptic,> when, believing the world is coming to an end, Smithers says "Oh, what the hell!" and kisses him on the lips. When the world does not in fact end, Smithers explains the passionate embrace to his boss as "merely a sign of my respect." If you interchange Brant and Mr. Rose for Smithers and Mr. Burns in any of these scenarios, they go from funny to uber squick-worthy in a nanosecond so I think everyone should be highly grateful that Brant has kept his displays of obsessive affection for Budd to a respectable minimum.
Disneyland (Referenced by Veronica joking to Keith their break-in is just like one of their trips.)
Disneyland Park, formerly referred to simply as Disneyland from 1955-1998, is a theme park at Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California -- a mere twenty-eight miles from Downtown Los Angeles. Owned and operated by The Walt Disney Company, The Magic Kingdom of Disneyland has become one of the most famous places on Earth.
Next to sister theme park Disney World Resort in Florida, Disneyland is the most popular theme park in the world based on the total number of visitors. More than five hundred million "guests," among them presidents, royalty, and other heads of state, have traveled to the park from around the world since the attraction first opened to guests in 1955. A worldwide celebration in commemoration of Disneyland's 50th anniversary began on May 5, 2005 and concluded on September 30, 2006.
Sleeping Beauty's castle during the 50th
Anniversary celebration.
The park was the brain child of Walt Disney himself. Walt's original concept was of a permanent family fun park without the negative element that traveling carnivals or fairs often attracted. He developed the idea during his many outings with his two daughters when he realized that there were no parks with activities that adults and children could enjoy together.
While many people had written letters to Walt Disney about visiting the Disney Studio lot and meeting their favorite Disney character, Walt realized that a functional movie studio had little to offer to the visiting fan. He then began to foster ideas of building a site at or near his Burbank studios for tourists to visit and perhaps take pictures with Disney characters set in statue form. This basic idea, once known as "Mickey Mouse Park," evolved into a small play park with a boat ride and several other themed areas. Walt's initial concept grew bigger and bigger into a concept for a larger enterprise which was to become Disneyland.
Disney's original modest plans called for the park to be built on eight acres on Riverside Drive next to the Disney Studios in Burbank, California as a place where his employees and families could go to relax. Early in development, during the early 1950's, it became clear that more area would be needed. On the suggestion of researchers at Stanford Research Institute who correctly envisioned the area's potential growth, Disney acquired one hundred and sixty acres of orange groves and walnut trees in Anaheim, south of Los Angeles in neighboring Orange County. Construction began on July 18, 1954 and would cost $17 million to complete.
The gates opened to thousands of eager visitors, celebrities, VIP's and Disney Studios staff members on July 17, 1955. In his dedication speech, Walt encapsulated his vision and his hope for the park when he said:
- "To all who come to this happy place welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, dreams and the hard facts that have created America with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world."
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs / Sneezy (Referenced by Veronica joking about the Mars family fighting with them at Disneyland.)
Originating as a character in one of the Brothers Grimms' Fairy Tales, most are more familiar with Walt Disney's classic animated musical film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Premiering on December 21, 1937, with a running time of eighty-three minutes, it was the first feature-length animated film in history. During its nearly four years of production time, the film was dubbed "Disney's Folly," as no one expected people to sit and watch a cartoon of that length. Also, although originally budgeted for $250,000, the costs soared to $1.75 million, making this a risky venture indeed. Disney's gamble paid off, however, as the film was not only a critical success, but its original worldwide gross of $8.5 million made it the highest-grossing film of its time, until Gone with the Wind surpassed it a few years later.
Including many memorable songs, such as "Heigh Ho," "Whistle While You Work," and "Someday My Prince Will Come," the story of the film is that of a beautiful princess reviled by her vain, jealous stepmother, who realizes she can never be "the fairest in the land" as long as Snow White is around. The evil Queen orders her Huntsman to kill Snow White and bring back her heart as proof the deed was done. When the time comes, the Huntsman is unable to kill such an innocent girl, so he tells her to flee into the forest and lies to the Queen that Snow White is dead.
The animals of the forest lead Snow White to a cottage where she meets seven dwarfs who work in a nearby diamond mine. The aptly named dwarfs are called Bashful, Doc, Dopey (originally named Deafy), Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy and Sneezy -- who, predictably, sneezes a lot. They give her shelter, and she assumes a motherly role in their home. When the Queen discovers that Snow White is still alive, she transforms herself into an old hag and offers the trusting girl a poisoned apple, causing her to fall into a sleeping death. As the dwarfs mourn the loss of their friend, Prince Charming arrives and awakens her with "love's first kiss."
The Bionic Woman (Referenced by Veronica's impression as she jumps down from the fence.)
The television series The Bionic Woman revolved around the adventures of Jaime Sommers. The series ran for a total of fifty eight episodes, airing on ABC from 1976-1977 and on NBC from 1977-1978. It starred Lindsay Wagner (Jaime Sommers), Richard Anderson (Oscar Goldman), Martin E. Brooks (Dr. Rudy Wells) and Jennifer Darling (Peggy Callahan).
Jaime Sommers was first introduced in 1975, in The Six Million Dollar Man's two-part episode "The Bionic Woman." Steve Austin (Lee Majors), the title character of that series, returned to his hometown of Ojai, where he rekindled an old romance with tennis pro, Jaime Sommers. They planned to marry, but during a sky diving trip, Jaime was seriously injured, suffering traumatic damage to her legs, right arm and head. Steve pleaded with his boss, Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson), to have Dr. Rudy Wells and his bionics team "rebuild" her with cybernetic limbs the way he himself had been rebuilt after he had been similarly injured. By doing this, he committed her to employment as an operative of the OSI. The operation went ahead and Jaime received two bionic legs, a bionic arm and her right ear was implanted with a bionic device. On her first mission, however, it became apparent that Jaime's body was rejecting the implants and after collapsing, she died on the operating table. Or so Steve thought.
ABC, however, recognized the character's popularity and requested that the writers find a way to bring Jaime back for a spin-off series. Steve Austin eventually discovered that Jaime had been placed in cryogenic suspended animation so that one day the doctors could attempt to remove the cerebral clot that had developed as a result of the implants. The surgery took place; Jaime conveniently developed amnesia and no longer remembered her love for Steve. This freed her up for her own series, The Bionic Woman.
Jaime took a job as a schoolteacher by day and an OSI operative by night. She went on many undercover missions that inevitably placed her in dangerous situations where she would use her bionic abilities to escape. Jaime could run at a speed of sixty miles per hour, bend steel bars with her right arm and hear a whisper from a mile away. She could also jump to and from great heights. The scenes of her bionic abilities were usually accompanied by slow-motion video and "na-na-na-na-na" type mechanical sound effects. Jaime would work on missions with Steve Austin from time to time, and in the process their friendship was rebuilt.
When The Six Million Dollar Man was canceled in 1978, so was The Bionic Woman. However, the characters returned in three made-for-television movies, in which Jaime and Steve rediscovered their romantic relationship: The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987), Bionic Showdown: The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1989) and Bionic Ever After? (1994), which culminated with the couple's marriage.
"Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose (walrus) out front shoulda told ya." / National Lampoon's Vacation (Referenced by Veronica joking to Keith from behind the fence.)
National Lampoon's Vacation is a 1983 comedy starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Anthony Michael Hall and Randy Quaid. The film was directed by Harold Remis and the screenplay was written by John Hughes, who supposedly based the script off his own childhood experience at Disneyland. The movie was a box office hit, earning at least $61 million in the United States. It was named one of the Bravo's 100 Funniest Movies.
The premise is that Clark Griswold (Chase), his wife, Ellen, (D'Angelo) and their their two children leave Chicago for a cross-country journey to Walley World, an amusement park in California. Hilarity ensues. They decide to first drive to Kansas, where their hillbilly cousin Eddie (Quaid) and aunt Edna live. The family also agrees to give Edna a lift to Phoenix, but she dies along the way and they have to find a way to get rid of the body. Supermodel Christie Brinkley also makes an appearance as a sexy swimmer and seductress of Clark Griswold.
When the family finally arrives at Walley World, they find that the park has been closed down for two weeks due to renovations -- hence the line "Sorry folks, park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya." But will the Griswolds let the closed park deter them from having the fun vacation that Clark promised them?
Ryan and Tatum (O'Neal) / Paper Moon (Referenced by Veronica explaining to Selma about her working relationship with Keith.)
The film Veronica references was based on Joe David Brown's novel Addie Pray and released in 1973. Set during the Depression era, Paper Moon stars Ryan O'Neal as Moses Pray, a con artist who pretends to be a Bible salesman, and (his real life daughter) Tatum O'Neal as Addie, an orphan he picked up after a family funeral who turns out to be the daughter he never knew.
Tatum, and father, Ryan, O'Neal
Together they travel the Midwestern countryside and con the good citizens out of their money. Addie helps Moses gain trust and pity of the unsuspecting marks, and generally turns out to be a better grifter than him.
In 1974, Tatum O'Neal won the Academy Award for the part, becoming, at the age eleven, the youngest Oscar winner in history. Director Peter Bogdanovich banked on the strong, sparkling, winning father-daughter chemistry between the two O'Neals, and they didn't disappoint. A fact which, I am certain, Veronica alludes to when she explains to Selma Rose the dynamic between herself and Keith: "When he gets in a jam, I make with the cute."
The reference is as precious as it is misleading. As sweet and subtle as the relationship between Moses Pray and Addie is, it's riddled with lies, cynicism, equal self-interest on both sides and manipulation. All of which even the strong, developing affection cannot quite temper. Then again, Keith and Veronicas relationship these days is nothing if not loaded. So, perhaps, the parallel is warranted on more than superficially cutesy level. However, considering the fact that, in her autobiography called A Paper Life, Tatum O'Neal alleged that she has been physically and emotionally abused by her father (which she attributed to his drug use), I think Veronica would have judged better if she compared her relationship with her dad to some other, less controversial father/daughter duo.
You've Got a Friend (Referenced by Veronica as she quotes the song to Wallace.)
Written and performed by Carole King in 1971 on her album Tapestry, "You've Got a Friend" gained more popularity and achieved #1 hit status when released by James Taylor on his 1971 album Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon. Both Taylor and King won Grammy Awards for the song, for Best Pop Vocal Performance, Male and Song of the Year, respectively.
The song has been covered by many artists since, in various musical genres, such as Country, R&B, Jazz and even Reggae. The many singers who have released their own recording of the song include: Lynn Anderson, Jimmy Cliff, Petula Clark, Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand, Michael Jackson and Tom Jones.
Lyrics:
- When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.
If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter, spring, summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?
You've got a friend.
Ah, fraternity humor! Theres nothing like its sophistication and wit! And look how it can turn a sweet childrens Easter song into an instant stomach-turning classic of truly "repangent" proportions (as Dick would say) by performing it to mock a rape victim!
The name "Peter Cottontail" is a combination of the names of two Beatrix Potter story characters, Cottontail and Peter Rabbit, from the story "The Tale of Peter Rabbit." The song was written by Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins.
- Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hopping' down the bunny trail,
Hippity, hoppity,
Easter's on its way.
Bringing' every girl and boy Baskets full of Easter joy,
Things to make your Easter bright and gay.
He's got jellybeans for Tommy,
Colored eggs for sister Sue,
There's an orchid for your Mommy
And an Easter bonnet, too.
Oh! here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hopping' down the bunny trail,
Hippity hoppity,
Happy Easter day.
Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hopping' down the bunny trail,
Look at him stop, and listen to him say:
"Try to do the things you should."
Maybe if you're extra good,
He'll roll lots of Easter eggs your way.
You'll wake up on Easter morning
And you'll know that he was there
When you find those chocolate bunnies
That he's hiding everywhere.
Oh! here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hopping' down the bunny trail,
Hippity hoppity,
Happy Easter day.
Cavalry (Referenced by Selma's description of Keith and Cyrus.)
Known as rescuers and shining beacons of heroic charge, the cavalry are soldiers or warriors who fought mounted on horseback. From earliest times cavalry had the advantage of improved mobility, an "instrument which multiplied the fighting value of even the smallest forces, allowing them to outflank and avoid, to surprise and overpower, to retreat and escape according to the requirements of the moment." A man fighting from horseback also had the advantage of height, speed and weight over an opponent on foot.
Anna Nicole [Smith] (Referenced by Veronica's conversation with Hallie about her relationship with the much older Budd.)
Ahh, where does one begin with Anna Nicole Smith? This American topless dancer/model"actress and celebrity mother/who-knows-what's-next first became popular when she was named Playboy magazine's Playmate of the Year in 1993. In 1994, Anna Nicole was twenty-six when she married eighty-nine year old J. Howard Marshall, a billionaire in the oil business. Following Marshall's death in 1995, Smith began an ongoing battle with his son E. Pierce Marshall for half of her husband's $1.6 billion estate. Golddigger? No. In the 2006 Supreme Court case Marshall v. Marshall, the Court ruled in favor of Smith on May 1, 2006. E. Pierce Marshall died on June 20.
Smith's career has suffered in recent years due to her weight gain, and her reality sitcom was canceled after two seasons in early 2004 because of low ratings and "creative differences" between herself and her producers. In 2003, she began losing weight and since then has endorsed the weight loss pill TrimSpa in a number of commercials. You might recall the phrase "TrimSpa, Baby!"
Anna Nicole has a daughter, Dannielynn, who was born on June 1, 2006. On September 10, her 20 year old son Daniel Wayne died unexpectedly from a combination of Zoloft, Lexapro, and methadone.
Ron Jeremy (Referenced by Veronica's conversation with Hallie about her relationship with Budd.)
Ronald Jeremy Hyatt (stage name Ron Jeremy) was born in Queens, New York, on March 12, 1953. He is a well-known American porn star and director. When he started his career in the porn business, he abbreviated his name by dropping the Hyatt, because his father requested it. Considering what junior does for a living, I don't blame the dad.
He is often referred to as "the clown prince of porn" for his comic timing (yes, the guy apparently can act. Stop laughing!). His other nickname is "The Hedgehog," due to his hairy genitalia, and, oh, his penis is apparently 9.75 inches in length. And yes, Veronica, we know you don't care that Budd may be "Ron Jeremy on wheels," but still, youve got to admit thats rather impressive.
You Sexy Thing!
Here are but a few fun facts about Ron:
- He is short, overweight, and arguably ugly. None of which has hurt his career any. In fact, he claims to have gotten more parts when he is heavier, which stopped him from attempting to lose weight at all. He has appeared in nearly two thousand short and feature pornographic films, and directed about one hundred of the gems.
- He is reportedly very "skilled" in oral and other sexual arena, has great stamina and -- ahem -- timing. He claims to have had sex with more than five thousand women. He says he finds every woman beautiful, regardless of age, size, race, or creed. Aw, Ron, you softie, you!
- Adult Video News Magazine (yes, these people read news, too!) puts him at number 1 of their "List of Top 50 Porn Stars of All Time."
- He went to high school with the future CIA director George Tenet.
- He has a BA in Theater Arts, and a Master's degree in Special Education. (And no, I am not giggling at all). He acted in Off-Broadway plays and taught special education, all before embarking on his lucrative "acting" career.
- He has had impressive (for a porn star) mainstream forays. He was a "special consultant" on the film Nine and a Half Weeks. He had small parts in many other films: Detroit Rock City, 54, Ronin, etc. He has appeared in various music videos and television shows (The Surreal Life, Family Guy, Las Vegas, and -- say hi to Enrico Colantoni! -- Just Shoot Me.).
- He did a poster ad for PETA -- say hi to Kristen Bell! -- in which he appeared nude on a bed with a pair of handcuffs on and a legend reading "Too much sex can be a bad thing. Spay and neuter your cats and dogs." (Okay, now I really am giggling!).
- Hey! Look at that! Veronica found her pajamas with long sleeves and track pants again! *gasp* I thought that's what she usually wore.
- Yet another quasi-sad Logan-at-the-door scene.
- Logan's black, long-sleeved shirt with white stitches looked a lot like the black, long sleeved shirt with white stitches that Veronica wore in season one. I would have liked to see them match wardrobes with those shirts. Hee.
- Jason Dohring's delivery of the line: "Yeah? You might want to start." Pitch perfect and dark enough that I wondered if he was considering throwing a lamp at Keith Mars ... and thus hot-footed it out of there. Great line.
- The smoke machines making fog as Veronica walks alone at night ... gives Veronica's oh-my-the-rapist-is-following-me a nice Scooby Doo feel.
- Keith's reaction to Selma's question about whether he knew what it was like to be a walking punch line, on a national scale. Heh.
- According to writer Diane Ruggiero's podcast of this episode, the dance that Veronica did before Dick that was considered incomprehensible by many was apparently ad-libbed by Kristen Bell. Ooo-kay.
- The look on Lamb's face when he realized he was talking to Veronica on the phone and not Ms. Vasquez. Could he have hung up any faster? Hee!
- Hee! Veronica saved her BFF from getting beaten up by using her trusty taser ... now what does that remind me of? It's true love, I tell you.
- Logan's huge bodyguard picking Veronica up and carrying her away from the fight scene. LOL He looked like he could flick her across the room with his pinky finger. Funny.
- Just before Veronica comes into his room, Logan is watching some sort of sports related programming. For some reason this really makes me want to watch a big game with Logan. I think he would be great fun.
- Veronica's Bionic Woman-esque "Shanananananana" noise after successfully scaling the wall at the Rose estate.
- Veronica's bow after successfully opening the gate at the Rose estate.
- The way the music in the episode's final scene perfectly underscores Logan's emotional pain. As Logan watches Veronica ignore his call M. Ward sings "I want it all." As she sits a table to eat alone, the song continues "I hope, I hope, I hope you know what I'm thinking of." and as we pan back to a heartbroken, lonely Logan separated from the girl he loves by feet that might as well be miles, M. Ward croons "I want all of your love."
- A plastic egg placed where the sun don't shine? Censors didn't have a problem with this? (But they did with a same-sex kiss between Selma and Hallie? Uh, okay.)
- When did Keith start taking oblivious pills to compensate for the fact that he can't control Veronica's compulsive lying? How could he possibly not be worried after Logan carried Veronica into their apartment drugged up on GHB and unconscious? Has he been taking sedatives and has suddenly mellowed out his protective streak? Or is he just overcompensating so they don't fight like last week? Bizarre.
- On that note, why are Keith and Veronica acting as if they don't have a care in the world and/or no problems with each other? He gave up the woman he's fallen for. Veronica was attacked. Her attacker's still at large. Keith still has the Fitzpatrics pissed at him, and, unless he paid off Vinnie, Harmony's husband as well. Have they both suffered from amnesia?
- When did Hearst have a riot? Did I miss that?
- So the Dean thinks that Lamb is so incompetent that he decides to hire Keith to find Selma instead of letting the authorities handle it -- but he still thinks Lamb is capable enough to continue handling the investigation of the serial rapes on the campus? Why hasn't the Dean hired Keith (who's intelligence ranks quite a bit higher than that of your average grilled cheese) to find the rapist?
- Waitresses and waiters normally have to have a conservative appearance so they don't stand out and up-tight guests don't get upset. Especially at the kind of event Veronica was attending. So ... how was Fern hired as a waitress for that catering group? Does she have to take her nose ring out while she works? How come Veronica didn't see her there?
- Since when does Veronica understand and even share Dick's love of inappropriate jokes on the subject of rape?
- Seriously, why is Veronica suddenly so glib about rape? Wasn't she the girl who said to Lamb only two episodes ago: "Rape humor: never gets old?" All of a sudden rape humor is hysterical to her? What?!
- Dick's wearing argyle now? Why couldn't Duncan take his fashion taste with him when he left Neptune?
- What was up with Veronica's pinball dance mocking Dick? Weird.
- What is up with Veronica suddenly making nice with her usual hate subjects? The last two episodes it was Lamb. This week it's Dick.
- Since when is Wallace Veronica's "numbers guy?" Wasn't she the one taking AP classes and heading toward valedictorian spot? While Wallace barely took passes? What gives?
- Is the address Keith gives Veronica for Hallie the address of the Zeta Theta house or of her parent's home? And if it's her parent's home, it appears that Hallie was an '09er. So how is it possible that Veronica didn't know Hallie at all -- even superficially -- before attending Hearst? If it is the Zeta Theta house address, does that mean that the '09er zip code encompasses an area large enough to hold a multitude of mansions AND an entire University? And lastly, if Hallie IS an '09er by birth, why does she need a job as a grossly-overpaid dog walker?
- Did Hearst decide to dispose of their security entirely after the Rent-a-Cop fiasco? Because, once again, it looks like there's no one there on campus to protect the students and control the potentially explosive situations. A semi-naked, shaved, unconscious and assaulted student just happen to lie there on the loan until some other student trips over him in broad daylight. And gleefully takes a picture. Fights break out spontaneously in the cafeteria and no one breaks them up but students with taser guns and outsider bodyguards. Safe rides don't seem safe at all and drop their charges in deserted dark places. In fact, most of the campus appears dark when Veronica goes sleuthing there this episode. And while Dean is sitting there and lamenting the state of things and bad publicity to a lone PI he just met recently, does anyone actually care about the campus safety? Worst. College. Ever. LOL.
- Does Lamb not have caller ID on his phone? One would think he'd have noticed the call was from the Mars residence instead of Martina Vasquez. Then again, he may have been too busy staring at Vasquez's photo to notice.
- So did Chip report his assault? From Dick's comments about the frat brothers having to remove the egg, it seems that he didn't seek medical attention. Plus, the egg was thrown in the trash instead of being taken in as evidence. Did he not report it because he was embarrassed? Or did his attacker(s) threaten to expose some of his own dirty secrets if he came forward?
- So is Chip a senior? Exactly how long has he been studying at Hearst if he was there three years ago with enough seniority in the Pi Sigs to be a leading member of the Pi Sig taunting of Patrice?
- Did Hallie's "you're blocking my sun" and Veronica's retort that she didn't know the sun belonged to Hallie, remind anyone of all Veronica's Lilly-murder fantasies? She imagined Lilly saying 'you're blocking my sun' to most of the Kanes in the death fantasies, was Lilly similarly shallow in Veronica's mind? She always had Lilly acting like a bit of a trashy bitch in the imagined circumstances of her death - planning to release the tapes being another example, I always found that odd.
- Are all the feminazis seniors too if they all remember what happened to Claire three years ago? If that's what happens to ever feminist that studies at Hearst, I'd really like Veronica to transfer before she goes psychotic.
- Were Nish, Claire and Fern actually responsible for Chip's attack? The motivation is there, but they didn't actually admit to it and Veronica has no evidence, circumstantial or otherwise, to take to the authorities, even if this crime had been reported. Are they actually guilty of any crimes other than Claire's false rape report? And shouldn't Claire be getting into some legal trouble for that, beyond getting kicked out of school?
- When did Logan hire the bodyguard? He said it was after Veronica refused to give in to his demands that she quit investigating anything, but then just a few hours later that same night she thought someone was following her on campus. That seems far too little time to hire someone and get them on the job. So was it the bodyguard she was hearing? Did Logan hire him before the argument? Or was it someone else? An innocent bystander, like the janitor in the library? Veronica's imagination? The rapist?
- While there are many speculations as to why Veronica didn't (again!) answer Logan's call after all of the "I love you's" and "we are okay's," what interests me is why did Logan call her on the phone when he could see her clearly. Why not just approach and talk to her in person? A lot harder to avoid you if you confront someone face to face. So, did he not see her in the cafeteria initially and only spotted her after dialing her number, or was he testing her in some way? Or thinking they were okay ... trying to play a cute little game with her?
- Was Logan feeling that old, familiar, Lilly-esque "I knew it was over" sensation when he watched Veronica ignore his call?
- Although we know that Dawn, Stacy and Parker were raped (being as we were "there" for the last two, and Veronica's discussion with the first), it's still open to interpretation as to whether all of the other victims, aside from Claire, were "victims" or not (thanks, feminazi's).
holly96 (Holly): Yearbook; Homeroom
genova (Cara): Extra Credit; Literature; Social Science
JaneDtwo: Literature; Social Science; Philosophy
JenniferH: Report Card; Drama Club; Chemistry; Band Class; Social Science; Homeroom; Detention; Principles of Democracy
Pixigal (Gerrie): Drama Club
PolarTruckin (Belinda): Literature; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
SeluciaV (Alli): Journalism; Study Hall; Literature; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
Tar Frimmer (Joanne): Literature; Social Science
Great insights.
