Episode #02.19: Nevermind the Buttocks
Original Air Date: April 18, 2006
Written by: Phil Klemmer
Directed by: Michael Fields
Report Card (Capsule Episode Review)
Yearbook (Recurring & Guest Stars/Character Statistics)
Drama Club (Performances: Highlights and Lowlights)
Chemistry (The Analysis of LoVe Scenes)
Journalism (The Mystery of the Week)
Study Hall (Miscellaneous Plot Details)
Extra Credit (Clues to the Season Mystery Arcs)
History (Flashbacks) (None)
Band Class (The Music of Veronica Mars)
Literature (LoVe Lines/In Memory/Quotable Quotes)
Social Science (In Reference To ... Pop Culture & The World)
Homeroom (On Second Viewing, Get a Clue)
Pep Squad Practice (Ambiguously (Or Not) Gay Logan Moments) (None)
Detention (While the Censors Were Out to Lunch ...)
Philosophy (Unanswered Questions)
Principles of Democracy (Hindsight is 20/20)
Role Call (Written/Compiled By ...)
Grade: A
Membership Grade: A (48.8% / 41 votes)
And the quarter final of this season just keeps on rocking like all those Elvis impersonators in Vegas. Another strong episode, Nevermind the Buttocks offers a boatload of information to the ongoing season-long mystery, but yet doesn't seem bogged down by it. This is a nifty balancing act that writer Phil Klemmer and director Michael Fields handle nicely. The mystery of the week -- seemingly the first one we've had in a few episodes -- actually winds up tying in with the season arc and both offer up some choice character moments for Veronica and Keith. Despite very limited Logan screentime and a subpar Wallace/Jackie subplot, the episode definitively classifies as one of the season's best.
Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Ryan Hansen - Dick Casablancas
Kyle Gallner - Cassidy "Beaver" Casablancas
Teddy Dunn - Duncan Kane
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Charisma Carpenter - Kendall Casablancas
- Normal is the Watchword
- Driver Ed
- Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang
- Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner
- Ahoy Mateys
- Donut Run
- The Quick and the Wed
Adam Hendershott - Vincent "Butters" Clemmons- Normal is the Watchword
- Ahoy Mateys
Tina Majorino Mac
- Season One Appearances
- Green-Eyed Monster
- Ahoy Mateys
- My Mother, The Fiend
- Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough
- Versatile Toppings
- Plan B
Daran Norris Cliff McCormack
- Season One Appearances
- Rat Saw God
- Donut Run
- Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle
- The Quick and the Wed
Krysten Ritter Gia Goodman
- Normal is the Watchword
- Rat Saw God
- Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner
- Plan B
Meredith Roberts - Cute as a Bug Manager
-Normal is the Watchword
Rodney Rowland - Liam Fitzpatrick
- Ahoy Mateys
- Plan B
Patrick Wolff - Hector
- Season One Appearances
- Rat Saw God
- Ahoy Mateys
- Plan B
Guest Stars
Matt Bush - Billy Greene
Ethan Lavoie - John Prosky
Mary McDonald - Patricia Place
Tommy Snider - Harry Greene
Who's Who in Neptune
Billy Greene - Younger brother of Harry the "mad archer" and PCHer in training.
Harry Greene - The "mad archer" of Neptune, who's dog was killed in a hit and run and needs Veronica's help to find the guilty party so he can exact revenge.
Ethan Lavoie - Aaron Echolls' attorney.
Mary McDonald - Cataract-afflicted owner of the Barracuda that killed Harry's Dog and seems to have a weird affinity for The Wheel of Fortune.
Highlights
Enrico Colantoni (Keith Mars) - Enrico Colantoni continues to quietly shine whenever he is on screen and this week, he takes center stage in Nevermind the Buttocks. Colantoni has consistently layered his portrayal of Keith Mars with compassionate, intelligent, and humorous qualities and this is nowhere more readily apparent than in the suspense filled moment when he confronts Liam Fitzpatrick. His quietly impassioned "I have a daughter" as he faces a remorseless killer left viewers terrified and shaking.
This scene coupled with Keith's Bruce Willis slam-bam action hero moment provided the emotional anchor of an information-packed episode. As an extra bonus, Colantoni skillfully balanced this intensity with moments of enthusiastic delight as he displays his superb PI investigative skills to Veronica. A marvelous creation and example of beautiful symmetry between writer and actor, Keith Mars is a wonderfully etched character.
Scene One: The Waiting Game
Honestly, there really isn't much to analyze here. It was pretty much all surface. Veronica was uncomfortable that she had to talk to Logan about Kendall and while talking to him, it was clear that she was still just the slightest bit peeved about the goings-on between the two. Listen to the pause and change in her voice when she asks if he remembers (and here she paused) "doing the deed ..." Not only does she pause before delivering the sexual euphemism, a faint note of disgust enters her voice.
In other words, girl still has some very serious issues with this situation. And going out on the fanwanking bridge, I think she deliberately identified Kendall's place in Logan's life (Dick and Beaver's stepmom) because she knew that she would sound disgusted. By clarifying off the bat the whole stepmom angle, she was justifying the disgust as having nothing to do with the fact that she was discussing Logan having sex with someone who wasn't her. Obviously, she was covering her tracks before he could call her out on a jealousy charge. (I'd add that she's a smart one, that Veronica Mars, but she just said that Logan wasn't hot. Clearly, the girl DOES have some mental deficiencies.)
And Logan? Well, I think he's just playing the waiting game right now. He's not declaring himself, but he's making it clear that he's available (his reply of "vaguely" when Veronica questioned him about Kendall and the fact that he didn't contradict the past tense of her question). He's also making it clear that he still finds her attractive. Yes, yes, of course we know that he does, but he's flat-out saying it (ie, hot blonde). Finally, he also keeps throwing those reminders of their summer together.
So, see ... surface stuff. (Ah consonance.) Veronica is icked out by discussing Kendall with Logan because, well, it's icky (which she'll admit) and she's jealous (which she won't admit) and Logan wants her, he's just not out and out saying it yet because he knows she's not ready. But by nature of the fact that he IS making it known he's available and attracted, it is clear that he knows that she's getting there.
Not much, but now we're getting there.
Veronica is sitting alone at lunch when a large, kind of scary and apparently socially maladjusted guy approaches her. Realizing that this is the same kid she saw in the hall the previous day she breaks the silence by observing that he's been following her. The big lug comments that he's heard that she can find things. Yes, oh large one, Veronica can find many things. And she works better with financial incentive.
The big lug takes a seat and looks even more uncomfortable than he did only moments ago, if that is in any way possible. Lug tells Veronica that he wants her to find a car. More specifically, he wants her to find the car that hit his dog Apache and killed him. Lug is getting very emotional and Veronica, despite all her attempts to be stone cold, finds her marshmallowy center softening over the mention of a deceased dog. On a side note, I shudder to think of what Veronica would be capable of if anyone ever dared harm a hair on the head of her beloved Backup 2.0.
Lug tries to conceal the fact that he's crying while he tells her that when he heard the squeal of the tires as it swerved into the yard, he ran to the window and saw the back of the car as it peeled away. He wonders how much it would cost him to have Veronica find the car. Veronica, clearly feeling very badly for this dogless boy, tells him it will be $50 to $250 depending on how much research it takes. Then dogless boy asks Veronica no other man has ever asked her: Can she be paid with meat?
As dogless lug boy reminisces over what a great friend and hunting companion Apache was, he and Veronica page through an automotive book in the computer lab trying to locate the doggie car of death. Dogless lug spies the guilty car -- a Plymouth Barracuda, circa 1970 to 1973 -- but notes that the one that killed Apache was green. (What IS it with this town and the color green? At least the damn car wasn't wearing green argyle.)
They pop over to an available terminal and Veronica logs on to her handy-dandy cyber weapon of choice, privateeyez.com. She does a search on 'cuda's registered in Neptune, but comes up empty. Veronica assures dogless lug that she'll keep looking. Clearly, this one is going to take more than $50. Anyone know what that equates to in deer meat?
Later that day in journalism class, the new editor/teacher in teal is freaking because no one has seen Bob Patton and he owes this teach a ten inch story on the high price of graduation. Apparently no one can help teacher so he asks Veronica to scare up a generic student life photo to fill the gap. Veronica has a light bulb and asks teacher teal how much it would cost to place an ad in that space that currently reads "Pricey graduation story goes here." Cute. (The answer is a mere $40 for anyone keeping score.)
Veronica arrives at a house in what appears to be a less than '09ery part of town with a sad and empty dog house out front. She is greeted at the door by a skinny kid with a massive shiner. Veronica wonders where Harry is (the big dogless lug) and the skinny shiner kid wonders what she'll give him for it. Clearly this kid doesn't know who he's tangling with. Veronica offers him two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar, along with the opportunity to not get beat silly. Skinny shiner boy leers that he might like that. Veronica flicks him hard in his black eye and tells him she's pretty sure he wouldn't. I'm pretty sure she's right. Skinny shiner kid clings to his sore eye and dignity and sends Veronica out back.
In the back yard, Veronica finds laundry, a few racks of antlers, and Harry shooting a multitude of arrows at a fake deer. She comments that she hates fake deer too and one look at their stupid fake deer faces makes her want to grab a gun and go all Cheney on them. HA! Harry doesn't even pause in his precision slaying of the fake deer when he asks Veronica if she's found the car. She tells him that she hasn't, but she has found a lead.
Veronica asks Harry if he remembers seeing a sticker in the car window. Henry isn't sure because it was dark. Henry reiterates to Veronica that he really wants this guy found, and drives the point home (pun totally intended) by making a creepily accurate shot right into the eye of the stupid fake deer. Eeek.
As Keith crows about having some real PI chops (and yes, Super Dad, you do!) Veronica gets an IM from user "AnonCuda411" saying that if Veronica will PayPal him the reward, he'll email her the address of the owner of the dog-slaying Barracuda -- strictly anonymous. Yeah, old block, the chip's got some pretty good PI chops herself. And Veronica's off to chase the lead.
As Veronica knocks on the door of the home we have to assume belongs to the owner of the dog killing Barracuda, she speculates that perhaps it would have been smart to bring a bat, or some kind of large stick with her to the door. When the door opens to reveal a cranky old woman in a housecoat and large black sunglasses, Veronica begins to wonder instead if she shouldn't have paid the reward to Mr. AnonCuda411.
She asks the old woman if she's seen a green Barracuda around the neighborhood as of late. The woman tells her she hasn't seen anything since her cataracts came back, but wants to know what Veronica wants with her car. Veronica feeds her some story about trying to fulfill her father's long-time dream of owning a souped up 'cuda. The crotchety old lady informs Veronica that the car belonged to her dearly departed hubby, and it is staying in the garage until they take her away in a pine box. She then all but slams Veronica's nose in the door in her hurry to get back to The Wheel of Fortune, while Veronica wonders what the attraction of The Wheel is for a blind person. Excellent question, but one I suspect we shall never know the answer to.
Veronica heads into the garage to sneak a peak at the Barracuda. On one of the rear windows she spies a bit of gunk and after rubbing her fingers over it, determines that it's sticky. She grabs some powdered chalk conveniently loitering on a shelf and sprays the area. The chalk sticks to the sticky part of the window to reveal the outline of what looks like a pirate. Gia's mascot sticker, perhaps?
Veronica takes a seat in the car and has a bit more of a look around, but doesn't see anything obvious. She gets out some sort of bug or tracking device and plants it in the stereo. Then she leans over and opens the glove box and discovers a gun.
Now that Veronica has learned that Liam Fitzpatrick is the person responsible for killing Apache, she heads over to Harry's house to break the news. As she approaches the front door, she spies a shiny new motorcycle in the driveway. Harry's brother, now bearing two shiners and various other bruises, opens the door and tells Veronica his brother is upstairs. Before he can walk away, Veronica grabs him by his arm and asks if that is his bike out front.
Veronica has done the math and realizes that Billy knew all along who killed Apache. The same person, she speculates, that worked him over so well the previous evening. Billy begs Veronica not to tell Harry that Liam killed the dog as punishment for Billy not keeping up with his drug run. Not because he fears the beating he totally deserves from his big brother, but because he knows that Harry won't hesitate to strategically put a very sharp arrow tip through Liam's throat. Billy doesn't want Harry to spend the rest of his life in prison for murder.
Veronica turns this information over in her brain as she climbs the stairs to Harry's room. The reality is that the act of telling Harry that Liam killed his dog will lead to the inevitable demise of the man that tried to kill her father and who may also be responsible for killing everyone on the bus. Veronica realizes that although there are few people who would miss Liam, and god knows she isn't one of them, she can't bring herself to be the engineer of his demise. So when Harry asks her if she's found the owner of the car, Veronica sadly shakes her head and mutters "no" without quite meeting Harry's eyes.
- Cliff pours a glass of water and kindly offers it to Veronica as they face Mr. Lavoie, one of Aaron Echolls' high-priced defense attorneys. Mr. Lavoie repeats his last question for Veronica. Did she say that she saw Lilly and Aaron having sex on the videotape? She did. He asks if it was the actual act of intercourse. Veronica explains that there was a sheet covering them, but the motions of their bodies suggested copulation. It both looked and sounded like sex.
Lavoie asks if this is an area in which Veronica has first-hand knowledge. Cliff gets out of his chair, climbs across the table and slaps the arrogant overpriced snake in the face. Okay, not really, but that's what happened in my little fantasy episode. Cliff does, however, try to put a stop to this particular line of questioning. Lavoie insists that he needs to determine if Veronica actually knows what sex looks like. Cliff points out that Veronica has certainly taken a sexual education course in high school. Veronica says she did indeed and, in fact, got an A-. She also watches Animal Planet. And now I'm left with even more disturbing images of Lilly and Aaron than I had before.
Lavoie informs Veronica that statutory rape is a grave accusation. She, however, doesn't think it's that big of a deal to a murderer. And I'd have to agree. I mean, shouldn't they be a little more concerned about the murder charges right now? He asks her one final question. Does she keep in touch with Duncan Kane? Okay, I guess they are concerned.
Keith watches a special Channel 5 news report and calls Veronica out to the living room. The reporter is talking about how a construction crew came across an object buried just feet from where "their daughter's" body was discovered. Keith turns off the TV and tells Veronica that Lilly's murder weapon has been found. Confused, Veronica asks about the glass ashtray he found in the pool. Keith figured Aaron had used it because why else would it be in the pool?
Veronica thinks this new development shouldn't really change anything, but there's more Keith has to tell her. The new owners of the Kane estate found Aaron's Oscar statue in their backyard when they were moving the swimming pool. Still puzzled, Veronica wonders if that doesn't actually help them with the case against Aaron. Keith then tells her that in addition to Lilly's blood on the statue, the Sheriff found Duncan's hair. Veronica's stunned.
- Veronica notices Mac (sporting red streaks this week) despondently banging her forehead against her locker. Saving Mac from a concussion, Veronica tries to find out what's wrong. Pointing to the note stuck to her locker door, Mac complains that she's been mugged by her own principal. Seems there were random locker searches done that morning, which Veronica managed to avoid by carrying the contents of her own locker around in her bag all day. Mac wasn't so lucky and the principal confiscated a little illicit booty from her locker. Drugs? Porn? Of course not. This is Mac, so the item in question was a cell phone interceptor.
Playing the role of the self-proclaimed "psycho ex-girlfriend," Mac had borrowed it from her friend at Radio Shack so she could listen in on Beaver's cell phone calls. At this news, Veronica gives her a sympathetic look that makes Mac's guilty conscience think she's actually being judgmental of her sad self. But no, Veronica just wonders why she doesn't have such a neat toy. Mac reminds her that she does the gadgets and Veronica does the espionage, then she asks her for her help to get the interceptor back. Veronica agrees to see what she can do.
Outside the Administration Office, Veronica sits with her head ducked down, as Clemmons' secretary grabs her keys and rushes off to deal with her car alarm that's going off thanks to Veronica. When she's gone, Veronica rushes up to Clemmons' door and uses the key she got from Wallace at the beginning of the year. Or rather, a copy of the key, since Clemmons confiscated the original last fall. And it looks like Clemmons has foiled her once again, since he's changed the locks, making her keys useless.
Not one to be so easily deterred from her mission, Veronica waits outside a classroom and stops Butters as he comes out. Quickly launching into her "I was hoping you could do me a favor" routine sans head tilt, she asks him to help her get something out of his dad's office for her friend, Mac. He wants to know what would be in it for him and Veronica suggests that he'll be able to stick it to "the man." Seeing how Clemmons is his father, Butters points out that he gets to do that plenty, but he does need a prom date. Veronica declines, in no uncertain terms, but it turns out he wasn't asking her. And he's not wanting her to find a date for him, either. What he wants is to go to the prom with Mac. Veronica says she can probably arrange that, so he tells her that Clemmons always has bus circle duty immediately after the last bell of the day. They'll meet in his dad's office then.
Knock ... knock ... knock. Butters opens the office door to Veronica and Mac and is incredulous at the lameness of Veronica's "secret knock." Veronica argues that its simplicity is its genius. The girls rush inside as Butters points out they only have eleven minutes to get it done. Veronica pulls the box of locker booty out from under a desk and starts rummaging through it.
Mac lets Butters know it's cool of him to help her out. He lets her know that he's an excellent dancer so she shouldn't worry about that. Wha-huh? Mac obviously has no clue what brought on that bizarre change of topic. Poor Mac. It looks like Veronica didn't let her know the price of Butters' assistance. Butters continues that he enjoys dancing, but they don't have to dance because he also enjoys good conversation.
Trying to stop this "good" conversation before Mac catches on and incinerates her with one of her gadgets she didn't get confiscated, Veronica holds up a plastic baggie of fake vomit from locker 213. (Yeah, that diversionary tactic always works for me, too.) And then she goes on to show them locker 792's "Smell It Bitch" t-shirt. Mac is amused by Veronica's sudden Vanna White impression. Or she is until Butters asks her the color of the dress she's wearing. Still confused, Mac points out she's actually wearing pants. Butters laughs heartily at her joke. He just doesn't want to show up with a blue corsage if she's wearing a red dress because then she'll think he's an idiot. From the look on Mac's face, I think it may already be too late to avoid that.
Veronica continues going through the box as Mac finally starts to get the picture. She turns questioningly to Veronica, who smiles and holds up the item she's been looking for. Nervously chuckling, she slides the box back under the desk and gives the interceptor to Mac. And in case Mac hasn't figured out that she doesn't have to worry about a prom date any longer, Butters asks her if a white limo would be cool.
Later, as Mac helps the Mars family retrieve Kendall's files from the stolen hard drive, Veronica thanks her for the help. But Mac informs her she's not speaking to her. Eager (not Beaver) Butters has asked Mac if he should rent a room for prom night. Well, Beaver did wish her good luck on getting laid, but I really don't think anyone had Butters in mind.
- Jackie approaches Veronica at her locker and asks for a favor -- a good word put in for her at Java the Hut, where she's already dropped off an application. Veronica is surprised that Jackie would want a $6.75 an hour job that won't even keep her dog in sweaters. Jackie explains that the family assets are frozen and the only company she has at home are repossessors. Veronica tells a grateful Jackie that she'll see what she can do.
At the Hut, Veronica approaches the Cute-as-a-Bug Manager (who really needs to get an actual name, already) about her (pause) "friend" (still, aww, progress!) Jackie's application for the waitress position. The manager says she got a stack of applications and Jackie's listed no work experience at all. When Veronica says that Jackie could really use the job, the manager agrees to hire her if she'll vouch for her -- meaning Veronica will fire Jackie if she sucks. Veronica hesitantly agrees.
Wallace is flirting with Jackie in the hall. He wants to drop the dumb pals act and doesn't understand why Jackie is so worried about what other people are thinking. It's been two weeks, which is like a decade in high school years, and Jane's got a date (good for her!) this weekend. Besides, he jokes, Jackie's already "that girl whose dad blew up the kids," so people aren't going to be dissing her for hooking up with another girl's ex-boyfriend. If it were possible to stick his foot any further into his mouth at this point, I'd truly be surprised. She obviously agrees, as she thanks him for breaking it down like that and walks away. He tries to stop her, insisting she has to know what he meant to say. Sadly, again Wallace proves he might not know what actual words mean.
Veronica is relieved to see Jackie effortlessly wait on some customers at the Hut, no doubt pleased that it doesn't look like she'll have to fire her. She smiles and goes to tell Jackie that Table 8 has requested to sit in her section. Jackie goes off to find Wallace sitting there, eager to apologize. Jackie stoically tells him not to worry about it. He insists that he is worried, though, and then tells her what he really meant to say before the foot-in-mouth disease he's been afflicted with these past few episodes struck him down. If it's really her reputation she's worried about, he hopes she can get past it, but if it's just that she doesn't feel the same way about him that he feels about her, he'll understand and back off.
Jackie explains that she likes him a lot. Too much, in fact. Wallace is happy to hear this and says to hell with what anyone else thinks. Then Jackie breaks the sad news to him -- she's been accepted at the Sorbonne. Wallace thinks that great news until Jackie reminds him that it's in Paris. She'll be leaving the day after their graduation, which only gives them five weeks together. No happy ending in sight for them.
Later, Jackie finds Wallace back in her section again. He's been thinking and he doesn't care. Five weeks is five weeks. They should make the most of it, forget about happy endings and worry about being happy now. He doesn't know when he'll meet another girl like her and Jackie agrees that there's probably not another Wallace Fennel out there. He asks her to prom -- an invitation she happily accepts. And now it's time for a trip to Eric's Formal Wear for some fancy duds.
- Veronica was born with blonde hair.
- Veronica and Weevil have a morning Biology class together.
- Bob Patton is in Journalism with Veronica. He's overdue on a story about the high price of graduation.
- In the eighth grade, Logan got to second base with (lucky) Tammy Forrester in Duncan's closet.
- Kendall attended Handley High School and was in the class of 1994.
- Mary McDonald's green Barracuda has a California license plate, #45R5655.
- Cormac Fitzpatrick is in San Quentin State Prison.
- It costs $40.00 to place an ad in the 2005-2006 Neptune High Yearbook.
- Veronica is in the Mars family kitchen nuking food of indeterminate origin when Keith busts in the apartment all but bursting with news. Is Veronica ready to get her mind blown? Veronica makes with the funny and reminds Keith who he's talking to. Keith tells Veronica that Big Dick was using the life insurance policies that he took out on Cassidy and Dick as a tax shelter -- we're talking major moohlah in the eight-figure range. And here's the real kicker: It turns out that the primary beneficiary on the policies, if both boys should die simultaneously, is none other than Ms. Trophy Wife herself -- Kendall.
So now we know that step-mommy not-so-dearest had motive to want both of the Casablancas boys dead. Keith is all but jumping up and down, he's so excited by these developments. He tells Veronica he's going to look into what Kendall was doing the day of the crash. Veronica's got that look on her face like maybe she knows that what Keith ought to be asking here is who Kendall was doing on the day of the crash. But we'll get to that later.
Veronica and Weevil are in science class together -- um, huh, what? Since when would Ms. Kane Scholarship and Mr. Criminal Element be in the same class in any subject? *shakes head in utter bafflement* Moving on. The teacher tells Weevs to feed "Buddy." Weevil grabs a plump rat out of a box and lowers it slowly into a glass snake tank, and makes sweet talk and kissy noises while giving the snake her most important meal of the day.
Veronica snarks that it's so adorable when Weevil talks baby talk to the deadly python snake. Weevil tells her that he and Buddy have a connection as fellow members in the 'top of the food chain' club. Veronica thanks him for doing his part in the circle of life (and every time she says that I can hear that Elton John song in my head and I begin to wonder where Simba's gone off to). Weevil tells her that he has no problem sacrificing a rat, and I get the chills.
Veronica, Mac and Butters are in Clemmons' office trying to get Mac's cell phone interceptor back. Amongst the confiscated items, Veronica finds a copy of The Anarchist's Cookbook that belongs to the lucky owner of locker 333. Veronica asks Butters if he minds if she gives the book back to Weevil. Mac and Butters are both either astounded or concerned that Veronica knows Weevil's locker number by heart until Veronica points out that Weevs is the only guy she knows who would brag about 'meeting Satan halfway.'
Out in the parking lot, Veronica's lounging against Weevils car in a motor-oil-garage-calendar-with-naked-girls kind of a way. Veronica asks Weevil where Thumper is because she hasn't seen him around lately, and she's worried that he might miss prom. Weevil shrugs and comments that he's sure Thumper's crushed. And then Weevil does something really scary. He smiles at his own personal inside joke, and I get the chills again. Of course we know that what Weevil fails to disclose to Veronica, however, is that Thumper's crushed under several tons of demolished stadium. Well, at least we think he is.
Veronica shows Weevil the copy of The Anarchist Cookbook from Clemmons' office, notes that it was confiscated during the first week of school, and asks why he needed it. Weevil tells her he wanted to make the Survivalist Stew, but didn't much care for it. Ha, ha. Yeah, well, in addition to healthy meals for social protestors, it also contains recipes for bombs and the like. Weevil gets testy and asks Veronica if she's accusing him of blowing up the bus. She assures him she's just working out a theory.
Veronica has realized that Weevil didn't just happen to be at the gas station the afternoon of the crash -- he was following them. She also points out that the explosion didn't kill everyone on the bus, the drop over the cliff did. Who else but someone hot on the heels of the bus could have timed the explosion like that? Heck, she's pretty sure he could have hit "send" on his cell phone at any point and she wouldn't have been any the wiser.
Weevil wants to know why he would have blown up the bus with one of his boys on it? Veronica has determined that it was an accident. Cervando and Weevil were working together to kill the rich kids in the limo. Mr. "I don't mind sacrificing a rat" even put a dead one under the bus seats to drive the spoiled rich kids into the limo.
Now Weevil is getting really pissed off. Does she think he's stupid and that in their grand plan, he and Cervando couldn't tell the difference between a black limo full of rich kids and a big yellow school bus? No, it's not that. She just figures that they planted the bomb in Dick's goodie bag (*thinks dirty thoughts* Hee!) not realizing that Dick gave the bag to Bettina. So, big yellow bus go boom.
Weevil tells Veronica that none of those spoiled rich kids was worth that amount of trouble. Au contraire, mon frre. Veronica's fairly certain that Weevil would have found Logan worth the trouble. And although Logan wasn't there that day, he was supposed to be there. Veronica all but dares Weevil to tell her that he wouldn't hesitate to take out the guy who killed Felix. Recent events being what they are, Weevil refuses to lie and so instead, he sits in silence. Veronica notes his silence and concludes that at least Weevil got rid of Thumper and is now top of the food chain again.
Veronica arrives home from work the following evening to find Keith, nearly asleep on the couch, apparently reading phone logs. Veronica teases that he can't actually be working that hard and surmises that he was actually watching South Beach right before she came in. (Bad shameless plug UPN!) Keith asks Veronica if she knows why Kendall would have had reason to call Logan three times on the day of the crash. Well, now that you mention it ...
Veronica sighs deeply and sits on the couch with great deliberation before telling Keith in her own Veronica fashion that Logan and Kendall were sleeping together. I know it's hard to think about Veronica, but just put it out of your head. At least you never had to see it. And hey! If you hadn't been so dumb over the summer that well-loved, well-pleased, totally satisfied woman could have been you! So nevermind my earlier sympathy. Withdrawn.
Keith comments with surprise that they were sleeping together weeks before Big Dick fled the country. Veronica comments that perhaps Logan is a little fuzzy on the commandments. Keith asks Veronica if she could stomach asking Logan if he was with Kendall on the day of the crash. Oh, Keith, is that ever a loaded question!
The next morning Veronica is waiting in the parking lot as Logan (looking SUPER smokin' hot
, I must add) exits the Xterra. As he approaches, he adorably notes that this is exactly how he likes to start every school day: With a hot blond waiting for him in the parking lot. (Fangirls go squeeee!) Veronica agrees that she does too. In another adorably endearing move, Logan rubs his head and says "I'm not blonde" with such charming faux-confusion that it's a wonder Veronica doesn't just jump him right there. I know I would. Anyone else with me here?
Veronica then starts in with the boldface lying when she says, "you're not hot either." It's one of those moments where you really wish lightning could strike someone down for telling such a blatant lie. Or maybe that her nose would grow so that Logan could have some real proof that Veronica wasn't immune to his ample charms. Anyway, Veronica just wants to ask him if he remembers the time he spent diddling the current Mrs. Soon-to-be-ex Casablancas. Logan snarks that he remembers that Kendall thought he was hot. (Me too! Me too!) Veronica ignores this comment and asks if he was with her the day of the crash because she knows they talked several times.
Logan is inordinately pleased because clearly Veronica has developed an obsession with his sex life, and wonders aloud if he should invest in a webcam. (Have mercy!) Anyway, he ponders for a moment but tells her he's not sure if he was with Kendall or not the day of the crash. He'd have to check his feelings journal to be sure. Hee! Veronica tells him about the insurance policies and the boatload of money Kendall stood to gain from Dick and Cassidy's deaths. Logan points out that Kendall needs a domestic staff to make cereal, so he's clearly not concerned about her potential as a criminal mastermind. Men are so easily blinded by large boobs and easy sex.
Veronica tries to steer him back to the point -- was he with Kendall on the day of the crash at 7:03 pm? Apparently Kendall kicked him out before the sheets were dry (another dumb girl), but based on her husband's penchant for firearms and the fact that the boys could have arrived home at any moment, Logan can't blame her. Anything else? Before Veronica can wipe the cranky look on her face, Logan provides some additional details.
He got to second base with Tammy Forrester in eighth grade in Duncan's closet. And as Veronica stomps off in yet another burst of professionalism Logan continues to detail his exploits by telling her that last summer he made this townie girl moan without using his hands. Okay, we've all said it, but I'm gonna say it again: That lucky townie girl was TOTALLY Veronica. And now that we have further proof of the boy's sexual prowess, I continue to marvel at Veronica's stupidity. Why on earth would you willingly give that up?!?! The thoughts of what he could have done without his hands to make her moan makes me need a cold shower and some private time -- not necessarily in that order. *fans face* Oh yes, dear Logan, it's all relevant. But don't worry; we're all keeping our own lists. YOWZA!
As Veronica enters school trying desperately to think about anything other than the aforementioned acts of moaning not involving Logan hands but clearly involving other Logan parts, Gia approaches with a copy of the Navigator in hand. Gia's all worked up because she has seen this car. It mooned her! Or, well, at least someone in the car did. Veronica asks for the where and when, and Gia comes up with a disturbingly specific answer: September 13th, 7pm, Pacific Coast Highway. Apparently the mooning 'cuda passed right by the limo just before the bus crashed.
Gia tells Veronica that she was the only one fortunate enough to be mooned because she was the only one facing that direction as the car passed the limo. She didn't think much of it at the time because she decided that the car must have belonged to a couple of college kids or something because of the mascot sticker in the window. She's fairly certain of the time because she was on the phone with her dad just moments before the crash. Ostensibly, the Woodster called to find out where she was to make sure she could still pick Rodney up after his piano lesson. As the weird ominous music swells in the background, I begin to smell something fishy -- red herring anyone? Or is it?
Night has fallen on Neptune and Weevil is in his garage working underneath his car as he sees a pair of boots in baggy pants approach. Weevil rolls out from under the car to see Hector lingering in the doorway. Weevil asks for a minute to wash up because otherwise Hector's looking to get grease stains on his throat. Weevil's clearly not in a forgiving mood. Hector sucks it up and tells Weevil that they made a mistake. No shit, Sherlock. Weevil's a bit incredulous -- they made a mistake and now, what? They want to take it back? Hector says that it's all they can do.
Hector is looking for help with the Fitzpatricks. He says they are all over the PCHers, treating them like their bitches. Weevil correctly surmises that he's pretty sure that's because the PCHers are Fitzpatrick bitches. Hector tells Weevil that it's getting worse. Weevil doesn't want to hear it, but Hector carries on anyway. He tells Weevil that Arturo, a freshman that Weevil wouldn't let join the PCHers, recently got a cigarette lighter taken to his face for being late with a payment. Ouch! Hector tells Weevil that people are getting hurt, and that people are going to die. Weevil's people, and he thought Weevil might want to know.
Keith arrives at the Mars Investigations offices bearing a giddy grin and a 1994 high school yearbook -- Kendall Shiflett's high school yearbook to be exact. Veronica muses that if Kendall was named "most likely to commit murder for profit" by her classmates, that is really gonna help support their latest theory.
Keith directs Veronica to page 87, where Kendall's yearbook photo can be found. Only the weird hairdo girl appearing as Kendall Shiflett in that photo is not the Kendall we know and distrust. And it gets weirder, if you can believe it. Keith flips to one of the pages featuring graduating seniors where we see a lovely headshot of Kendall who is apparently actually named Priscilla Banks.
It turns out that the real Ms. Shiflett (who I think it is safe to say would never have made the roster of Casablancas trophy wives) died in a car crash when she was 15. Oddly enough, it appears that the fake Ms. Shiflett was driving the car that introduced the real Ms. Shiflett to her maker. Veronica, I have to speculate that Kendall was trying to do more than shave a few years off of her age when she stole weird hairdo girl's identity. Keith reaffirms my speculation when he tells Veronica that it may have had more to do with the six months she did in prison for wire fraud.
Keith continues to do additional research on Kendall/Priscilla's background and makes a phone call to Mr. Banks posing as someone from the Handley High Alumni Association trying to track Priscilla down for the big reunion. Mr. Banks says that they'd like to track Priscilla down too, because they haven't seen her in quite some time. The only recent contact they've had from Priscilla was a get well soon card she sent her mother a few months back bearing a Neptune post-mark and no return address. Mr. Banks asks Keith if he tracks Priscilla down to let her know that her mother passed away.
Later that afternoon, Weevil pays a visit to Veronica at the Mars Investigations office. Veronica incorrectly assumes that he's there to confess because she can see his tail between his legs. Weevil corrects her -- it's not his tail, but he can see why she'd be confused. DAMN! Weevil tells her that he needs to get into Clemmons' office and he knows she's just the girl to help him. Veronica says that if he wants her help, he's gonna have to answer a few questions.
Number one, what does he want out of Clemmons' office? A paddle that belonged to Thumper that Clemmons confiscated several months back. Ah yes, I think we know that paddle Weevil. And Veronica also notes Weevil's use of the past tense -- not much gets by our girl. Although she's pretty sure she knows, Veronica asks Weevil what is so special about this paddle? He tells her he came across it in Thumper's locker when he planted the money at the winter carnival and that it was full of license plate numbers. Weevil was pretty sure that it was a list of customers that Thumper was dealing to and that he made it as some kind of insurance policy. Veronica snarkily wonders how that's working out for Thumper? Touch, Ms. Mars.
Weevil opens up a bit and tells Veronica, in all seriousness, that things between the Fitzpatricks and the PCHers have gotten really bad. Threats, beatings, torture, you name it. If that paddle is what Weevil thinks it is, then it would be a whole lot of leverage for the PCHers. Veronica deems that fair enough.
Second question: Why was Weevil following the bus the day of the crash? Apparently he was looking out for book-smart street-stupid Cervando who had been unable to keep his mouth shut about hustling Liam Fitzpatrick. Weevil knew that Liam was after Cervando for this gang-related faux pas, and Weevil was following Cervando around to protect him. He asks Veronica if she believes him. As Veronica points out, when he's batting those Maybelline lashes at her, how could she not?
In what is becoming kind of a Mars family ritual, Keith exits his office to find Veronica and Weevil chatting, much to his displeasure. Keith and Weevil share their typical banter: "Eli." "Sheriff." I can't help it. I love that one of the biggest bad asses in Neptune still respects Keith's position as former Sheriff more than Lamb's position as the current Sheriff.
Keith leaves and Weevil asks Veronica for the key to Clemmons' office. She gives it to him and tells him to keep it. He's surprised by the gesture until she tells him that Clemmons changed the locks, so the key is worthless. Now he's a bit pissed that he jumped through all those hoops for nothing. Oh, not for nothin,' Weevil. Veronica slyly tells Weevil it's a good thing that she made a copy of the paddle in question. Yes, Weevil, she is unbelievable sometimes. Veronica raises a brow and suggests that they do a little digging to find out the identities of a few of the people on that list.
While on her shift at The Hut later that night, Veronica watches her laptop and sees that the Barracuda is on the move. Okay, so it was a tracking device rather than a listening device. Check. She asks Jackie to watch her tables until close, and heads off after the Barracuda. Using the tracking device she finds the 'cuda on the road and follows it to a residential area. She tunes her radio to her favorite station, 87.9, and the sounds of the interior of the 'cuda fill the air. Okay, so it was both a listening and a tracking device. Double check!
The voice is singing along with the radio and we flash to a close-up of the driver's hands on the steering wheel. The driver is wearing a claddagh ring with the point of the heart facing in. Ah, an Irish love token -- perhaps the driver is a Fitzpatrick? The car pulls to the side of the road and a girl with long blowy hair gets in on the passenger side.
The chick tells the gent driving the car that she thinks "he's" still inside because she saw a flashlight moving around. He asks for his gun out of the glove box. Veronica panics as the guy gets out of the 'cuda and calls Keith to ask for help because she's afraid someone is gonna get shot. Keith asks for her location and she tells him that she's at the northwest corner of Tsetsuma (?) and Chandler.
Keith tells Veronica to pull up in front of the house and wait for him with the engine running, and if anyone but him should approach the car she should "get the hell out of here." Um, "here" Keith? All of the sudden Veronica begins to realize that her beloved dad is in the house but before he can answer her cries of "where are you?" and "what's going on?", Keith hears the door to the house open and ends the call while retreating into the shadows.
As Keith attempts to sneak out of the house in a less-than-stealthy manner, he is cornered by one Liam Fitzpatrick brandishing a gun. Liam chuckles about "the luck of the Irish" seeing as how the former Sheriff is now on the wrong end of a robbery in progress. Keith, totally without guile, asks Liam not to do this, not to kill him, because he has a daughter. Liam tells Keith that he's met Veronica and she's a sweet girl. I suspect that Liam is being sarcastic because he clearly doesn't know a thing about Veronica.
Liam ominously tells Keith that he'll keep an eye on Veronica after he's gone -- and pulls the trigger. Keith flinches, but there's nothing but a click, and then another and another as Liam continues to try to fire the gun. As soon as Keith realizes that the gun isn't loaded, he charges Liam and tackles him.
Outside the house, the chick gets out of the car and as she approaches Veronica she steps into the headlights. A rather stealthily dressed Kendall demands that Veronica tell her what is going on and who is in her house? Before we can puzzle this development out, Keith and Liam come crashing through the front picture window and land on the lawn. The two continue to wrestle and Keith lands a particularly painful blow. Liam drops to the ground and Keith makes a break for the car. He jumps in and Veronica takes off, threatening to flatten Kendall in the process.
As the Mars family speeds away into the night, Kendall asks Liam what the former Sheriff was doing in her house -- because it's not good. Liam tells her that Keith didn't say, but he'll be happy to track him down and find out. Kendall, clearly the brains of this operation, tells Liam that that would be worse. So much for Logan's theory.
Back in the LeBaron, Keith tells Veronica that the gun wasn't loaded. Veronica gives a small smile and tells him that she could have told him that -- if he hadn't hung up on her. The bullets are in the ashtray, and as Keith picks one up for inspection, Veronica muses that perhaps they should return the stolen bullets to Liam. In light of the situation Veronica, that really isn't very amusing.
Veronica goes on to ask Keith about Kendall/Priscilla's secret house, and asks him if he found anything. Like, perhaps, plans to blow up the bus? No, not really, but he did find something that might be interesting. Veronica turns her head to inquire as Keith holds up a strange box that he identifies as Kendall's hard drive. Give it up Veronica -- your old man may be getting a little lax on the stealth these days, but does have some pretty sweet PI skills.
Back at Mars Investigations, Mac Attack is doing some sweet hacking to get into Kendall's hard drive, while Veronica patches up SuperDad. The red X becomes a green check mark and Mac tells them that they are in. Veronica thanks her, but Mac snarks that she's not doing this for her; she's doing it for Keith. She's not speaking to Veronica because Butters has asked if he should get a room for prom night. (I feel the ick factor in your pain, Mac.) Keith asks Mac if she could print out every email and every document for his review -- Mac tells him his wish is her shift+command. Awww!
Over to the docks later that night where Liam and his boys roll up on the PCHers. Liam is less than pleased because it appears that the drug trade at Neptune High was a little light for his taste this week. Hector tells him that it's too bad -- what they gave him is what people bought. Supply and demand, you know? Liam reminds him that they are called "pushers" for a reason and tells the boys to throw a rave or something and create a demand.
Liam decides that perhaps its time to try a new motivational technique and tells the guys to string up the skinny one who has been short the last two weeks. A couple of the Fitzpatricks grab Harry's little brother and hang him from the very same hook that Weevil once hung from to take his beating. Liam throws one of the PCHer's hats to the ground and tells them that he'll cut the kid down when the hat is full of bills. Then he lets one of his bigger guys start beating on the kid.
The PCHers are clearly resigned and begin to pull money out of their pockets and wallets, tossing it into the hat. Moments later, Weevil pulls up in his green monster and all eyes are on him as he struts to the head of his former gang. He tells Liam that the PCHers aren't dealing for him anymore. Gentleman, start your engines ... and let the pissing contest begin!
Liam starts by reminding Weevil that retirement isn't all its cracked up to be. I mean, how's Thumper doing these days? Weevil just smiles and tells Liam that he hopes Liam isn't threatening him because he would think that Liam would be nicer to the guy who has this -- and he pulls a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.
Liam appears a bit off kilter, but maintains his bravado. Weevil unfolds the paper to show Liam Thumper's list of high end clients that Weevil identifies as lawyers on speed, coked-up athletes, and celebrities' kids rolling on E. Then Weevil twists the knife by asking Liam if he remembers how well Heidi Fleiss did once her little book went public. You can tell Liam's starting to get anxious as Weevil tells him to hold on to that copy of the list as collateral.
Liam tries to stand tough, asking Weevil how he can be sure that Weevil didn't make a copy. Weevil tells him not to worry, because, in point of fact, he made lots of copies. And those copies will go public if Weevil ever disappears. Liam threatens that Weevil ought to watch his back, but Weevil just smirks -- he won't have to because now he knows that Liam will be watching it for him.
Having been backed into the proverbial corner, Liam and the Fitzpatricks have no choice but to tuck tail and retreat. As soon as they do, the PCHers get celebratory and enthusiastic. Hector comments that he knew that Weevil would come through for them. Instead of embracing his former gang and resuming his role as the head of the PCHers, Weevil looks at them coldly and tells them that they are on their own now. Without another word or a backwards glance, he heads to his car and drives off into the night.
Back at Mars Investigations, Veronica and Keith are swimming in printouts from Kendall's hard drive. Veronica tells Keith that so far, the only thing she's learned is that the old woman with the Barracuda is Liam Fitzpatrick's maternal grandmother. Then she goes on to tell him about her conversation with Weevil about how badly Cervando had pissed Liam off and how badly Liam wanted revenge. Since Liam had access to explosives through Danny Boyd, her best theory now is that Liam blew up the bus to get Cervando. She can't seem to find a connection between Liam and Kendall at all.
Keith appears to have more luck. Apparently prisoner #246219 is the connection they've been looking for. There are 65 emails in her system to Cormac Fitzpatrick, Liam's older brother, who is doing time up in San Quentin for fraud. It turns out that Cormac and Kendall were partners, grifters working the long con. (I guess Sawyer skipped town too. Hee!) Keith speculates that perhaps Kendall's six month stint in prison was an act of generosity, taking the fall for Cormac and saving him his third strike. Which would mean that the Fitzpatrick family owes Kendall quite a bit of gratitude.
Now things are starting to come together for Veronica. Perhaps that means that Liam was only on the road to act as Kendall's eyes. If that's the case, he could have called her with the bus' exact location and she could have detonated the bomb poolside while sipping a margarita. Since Kendall kicked Logan out of the house hours before the crash, there was no one to witness her crime.
"Dame Esa Cosa" (Rene Brizuela)
Scene: Hector does the PCHGang version of "Stars and Stripes" before breaking into a chorus of "Leader of the Pack" all in an attempt to get the Weevster back on (illegal) track.
"Treat Her Like A Lady" (Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose)
Scene: He may be a murdering, thieving, PCHer-slapping, drunk, slimy, twisted, sick fuck, but Liam Fitzgerald does like to rock to his tunes, be it car or bar.
LoVe Lines
Logan: As a rule, I like to start every school day with a hot blond waiting for me in the parking lot.
Veronica: Me, too.
Logan: (Touching his hair in faux confusion.)I'm not blonde.
Veronica: (About Kendall.) Were you with her the day of the crash? You two talked on the phone a few times that day.
Logan: Man, you are obsessed with my sex life. Do I need to start carrying around a webcam from now on?
Veronica: Logan ... (Warningly.)
Logan: Day of the crash ... Day of the crash. Ahhh, I'd really have to consult my feelings journal to be sure.
Veronica: Kendall stood to make millions by sending Dick and Beaver over that cliff. There was an insurance policy.
Logan: Kendall requires a domestic staff to make cereal. You think she could really plot a murder?
Veronica: Were you with her at 7:03?
Logan: Actually she kicked me out before the sheets were dry, but considering her husband's fondness for handguns and the fact that Dick and Beaver could come home at any minute, who could blame her?
Logan: (To a retreating Veronica about Veronica.) And last summer I made this townie girl moan without even using my hands. Is any of this relevant? Should I make a list?
Quotable Quotes
Mr. Lavoie: She said it looked as though they were having sex. I need to make sure she knows what sex looks like.
Cliff: I'm sure Miss Mars has had the required sexual education course provided by Neptune High School.
Veronica: I got an A-. Plus, I watch Animal Planet.
Mr. Lavoie: Statutory rape is a grave accusation.
Veronica: Not to a murderer.
Keith: Prepare to have your mind blown. Are you ready?
Veronica: Think back eighteen years. Small. Blonde. Baby. Born ready.
Veronica: The wicked stepmother trying to bump off her rich husband's spawn. That's a Disney movie, isn't it?
Weevil: (To snake.) Someone was hungry, huh? (Makes kissy noises.)
Veronica: Someone's baby-talking a python.
Weevil: Yeah. We got a special connection, me and Buddy. Top of the food chain.
Veronica: Well, on behalf of nature, thank you for doing your part in the circle of life.
Veronica: (Sees Mac banging her head on her locker.) Mac-Attack, what's the haps?
Mac: I got mugged. By my own principal. They took my cellphone interceptor and apparently plan on keeping it until the end of the year. What happened to "end of the day?" Why wasn't that working?
Veronica: Everyone still kept bringing in their cellphone interceptors?
Mac: Is there any chance you can get it back for me? I borrowed it from my friend at Radio Shack because apparently I've become a psycho ex-girlfriend and I wanted to listen to Beaver's cellphone calls. (Sees the look on Veronica's face.) You're judging me.
Veronica: Nope. I'm judging myself. Why don't I have a cellphone interceptor?
Mac: Please respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets. You do the espionage.
Veronica: Do you mind if I give this Anarchist Cookbook back to Weevil?
Vincent: You know his locker number?
Veronica: (Holding up tag marked "333.") Who else would brag about meeting Satan halfway?
Veronica: You seen Thumper lately, Weevil? It's just nobody's heard from him in weeks. If he doesn't show up soon, he's gonna miss prom.
Weevil: Yeah. Well, I'm sure he's crushed.
Veronica: (To Keith looking exhausted from deep case research) There is no way you are working that hard. You heard me coming and turned of South Beach didn't you.
Weevil: (Sliding out form under a car to find Hector in the workshop) You here to start something, dog? You should let me wash up beforehand, 'less you don't mind grease around your throat.
Hector: We made a mistake.
Weevil: A mistake? So you come here 'cause you think you can take it back?
Hector: 'Cause it's all I can do. (Weevil turns away but Hector persists.) It's the Fitzpatricks, Weevil, they've been all over us -- just treating us like their bitches.
Weevil: My guess would be that's 'cause you are their bitches.
Keith: Okay, now prepare to be impressed! (He comes toward Veronica excitedly holding up a yearbook)
Veronica: Dad, you've shown me your yearbook. The whole Rick Springfield, feathered hair thing ... it looked awesome on you but those days are over and it's time to move on.
Keith: This is Kendall Shiflett's high school yearbook.
Veronica: And she was named most likely to commit murder for profit? That would really help our latest theory.
Veronica: The real Kendall Shiflett is dead.
Keith: And even weirder still: Miss Banks -- our fake Kendall -- was at the wheel when she was killed.
Veronica: (Shaking head.) The lengths a woman will go to to shave a few years off her age.
Keith: Admit it! The old man's got some P.I. chops! (Veronica gets distracted by a message on her computer and Keith frowns.) Well I thought it was some pretty sweet detectiving.
Veronica: You here to confess? Is that your tail I see between your legs?
Weevil: No, but I can see how you might get confused.
Weevil: A paddle. It belonged to thumper; Clemmons confiscated it.
Veronica: Belonged? Interesting use of the past tense.
Weevil: I had his back, just in case. Do you believe me?
Veronica: How could I not when you're batting those Maybelline lashes at me?
Keith: Eli.
Weevil: Sheriff.
Jackie: (Speaking to Wallace sadly.) It's in Paris. I leave the day after Graduation. What's that give us? Five weeks? Just enough time to get our hearts broken. There's no happy ending out there for us.
Veronica (Speaking to Kendall who's standing in front of her car.): Move or you're a hood ornament.
Veronica: So, I take it Kendall Casablancas/Priscilla Banks has a secret house.
Keith: Yup. I take it you found your Barracuda.
Veronica: Yup. You find anything in the house? Say, plans to blow up the bus?
Mac: Mr. Mars, what else can I do for you?
Keith You mind printing every e-mail, every document?
Mac: Your wish is my shift-command. (Pausing.) Little computer humor for you, there.
Veronica: I liked it better when you weren't speaking to me.
Weevil: The PCHers ain't dealing for you no more.
Liam: Okay. So, uh, what? We just shake hands and walk away like gentleman?
Weevil: Not sure I'm interested in the handshake, but I'm fine with the walking away.
Liam: You know, uh, retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be. How's Thumper?
Weevil: You're not threatening me are you? 'Cause you ought to be nicer to a guy who's got this. (Takes a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.)
Liam: What's that supposed to be?
Weevil: Just a list. Of all your big-shot clients. Lawyers on speed, coked-up athletes, celebrities' kids rolling on E. Ask yourself this question: Exactly how much business did Heidi Fleiss do when her little book went public? (Goes to hand the list off to Liam.) You might want to hold on to that for me. We'll call it collateral.
Liam: So, uh, how do I know you didn't make a copy?
Weevil: Oh, I did make copies. Lots of 'em. And the day I go missing is the day they go public. Might want to keep that in mind.
Liam: Mmhmm. You might wanna watch your back.
Weevil: Why? You're gonna be watching it for me.
Veronica: I've learned that when someone just stands there with his mouth open like that? It means he's guilty.
Billy: Listen, just don't tell Harry. If he finds out what happened
Veronica: Cry to someone else. This beating you've got coming.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: So all I have to do is give Harry the name of the man who tried to kill my dad in cold blood last night. Liam Fitzpatrick. He's a killer and there's a good possibility he's responsible for the deaths of everybody on that bus. I, for one, wouldn't miss him.
Harry: Were you able to find out who ran over my dog?
Veronica: (After a great deal of thought, Veronica shakes her head and doesn't quite meet Harry's eyes.) No.
Never Mind the Bollocks ... (Referenced by the episode title Nevermind the Buttocks.)
This 1977 Sex Pistols album is often considered one of the greatest, most inspiring rock records of all time. According to one critic, "Never Mind the Bollocks perfectly articulated the frustration, rage, and dissatisfaction of the British working class with the establishment, a spirit quick to translate itself to strictly rock & roll terms. The Sex Pistols paved the way for countless other bands to make similarly rebellious statements, but arguably none were as daring or effective."
The relevance to Veronica Mars is a little less than obvious. Does it speak to the class wars and socioeconomic strain that currently divides the community of Neptune? Is it a commentary on the idea that everything in Neptune is dark and broken underneath its pretty and acceptable surface? Is it solely a somewhat clever play on words making reference to the Barracuda mooner who may or may not have been involved in the bus crash? I wish I could say I had a clue.
On the whole, some of the song titles seem to speak to themes of the series "Bodies," "No Feelings," "Liar," "Problems," "Seventeen"), but the lyrics for these songs don't seem to echo any of the show or series' themes. However there is one lyric in one song that I found interesting. The song is "Sub-Mission;" although, in its entirety, it doesn't apply to the show, there are a few lines that give me pause:
Animal Planet ... (Referenced by Veronica to Aaron's lawyer when he questions her sexual knowledge.)
Animal Planet, launched in 1996, is a cable and satellite television network co-owned 80% by Discovery Communications, Inc. (parent company of Discovery Channel, TLC, Discovery Health Channel, and The Travel Channel) and 20% by the BBC Worldwide. The channel is dedicated to programming that highlights the relationship between humans and animals, including the Animal Cops series, The Crocodile Hunter, The Jeff Corwin Experience, and Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.
Now I'm sure that Wild Kingdom has plenty to offer on the mating rituals of various animals. But for my money, I'd think that Veronica would have picked up more of an education on the mating rituals of statutory rapists in Hollywood by watching Danielle Steele direct-to-cable movies on Lifetime. But maybe that's just me.
Wicked Stepmother / Disney movie ... (Referenced by Veronica to Keith regarding Kendall and the insurance policy.)
There are over 900 stories written about wicked or evil stepmothers. Popularly characterized by Walt Disney in the movies Snow White and Cinderella, the wicked stepmother always treats the innocent child harshly, favoring her own children over the stepchild. In many cases the wicked stepmother's goal is to ultimately kill the child so that her own life is easier.
In Snow White, the wicked stepmother sends poor innocent Snow White into the woods to be killed by the woodsman. When this plan is thwarted, she resorts to a poisoned apple. Beautiful on the outside and yet evil and calculating on the inside, the evil stepmother eventually faces retribution for her cruel acts. Does this future lie in wait for Kendall/Priscilla? It's still unclear whether Kendall will be watching in frustration as the Casablanca boys have a happy ever after ala Cinderella or plummeting off a cliff to her own death ala Snow White.
The Food Chain ... (Referenced by Weevil to Veronica in classroom.)
Food chains and food webs or food networks describe the feeding relationships between species in a biotic community. In other words, they show the transfer of material and energy from one species to another within an ecosystem.
As usually diagrammed, an organism is connected to another organism for which it is a source of food energy and material by an arrow representing the direction of biomass transfer. Organisms are grouped into trophic levelsfrom the Greek for nourishment, trophikosbased on how many links they are removed from the primary producers. Primary producers, or autotrophs, are species capable of producing complex organic substances (essentially "food") from an energy source and inorganic materials. These organisms are typically photosynthetic plants or algae, but in rare cases, like those organisms forming the base of deep-sea vent food webs, can be chemotrophic. All organisms that eat the autotrophs are called heterotrophs. They get their energy by eating the producers. (Courtesy of Wikipedia, April 22, 2006)
Circle of Life ... (Referenced by Veronica to Weevil with respect to his position on the food chain)
The circle of life refers to the way that all living things in our world are connected by the mere act of existence. It also references the way that life is cyclical from birth to death, but has no real ending.
The Circle of Life is also the Academy Award nominated song by Elton John and lyricist Tim Rice from the animated Disney musical The Lion King. The song, which plays over the opening scene of the movie depicting the birth of Simba, the young lion king, echoes the themes outlined above. The lyrics are as follows:
Radio Shack ... (Referenced by Mac to Veronica about her borrowed cell interceptor.)
Radio Shack was founded in 1921 by two brothers, Theodore and Milton Duetschmann, who wanted to provide equipment for the cutting-edge field of ham radio. The name of the store was taken from the name of the small structure that housed a ship's radio equipment at the time. Today, Radio Shack runs a chain of electronics retail stores in the US as well as parts of Europe and South America. As of 2003 it had more than 7,000 stores in the US alone, and reported revenues of more than $4.6 billion. Radio Shack's head office is located in Fort Worth, Texas.
Bond ... (Referenced by Veronica describing setting off the car alarm to get Clemmons' secretary out of the office.)
Bond (as in James Bond) is a fictional British spy, created by author Ian Fleming. The character, a smooth ladies man and fearless agent, went on to become the focal point of several novels, twenty major motion pictures, video games, comics, and parodies (Austin Powers). In the films, several actors have played the role over the years including Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan. To this day the Bond stories continue to draw the interest, and revenue, of audiences.
"The Man" ... (Referenced by Veronica when trying to convince Butters to help her get into Clemmons' office.)
Referring to an individual as "The Man" generally implies that said individual is a figure of authority and one who is oppressive. This turn of phrase is so pervasive today that it more often than not refers to any general authority in any given environment. Its ubiquity has also engendered a form of ironic facetiousness in its use as well, providing a punchline to an unnecessary attempt to resist authority.
The Anarchist Cookbook ... (Referenced by Veronica when she finds it in Clemmons' office and confronts Weevil about it.)
The Anarchist Cookbook, written by William Powell, was first published in 1970. Despite its misleading title, it isn't a collection of recipes for the anarchist trying to impress his friends at his next protest with a lovely souffl. The book was actually intended as a protest against the United States government over the Vietnam war. It contains 'recipes' and instructions for the manufacture of explosives, drugs, a number of now-obsolete telecommunications hacking devices, and other controversial themes.
Despite the name, the book has no connection to the anarchist movement and is in fact heavily criticized by most anarchists. The book is now regarded to be public domain and is easily accessible on the internet. The author has disowned it and, though the copyright having been registered in the name of his publisher, he does not receive royalties from it.
While The Anarchist Cookbook is legally available in the United States, it is illegal in many other countries. The information contained in the book includes instructions that, if followed, may be against the law. Because of this, access to the book is often restricted, with some bookstores refusing to sell the book to persons under 21 years of age. Authorities and munitions experts have stated that the instructions in the book should never be attempted by inexperienced persons.
It has been suggested that the book contains errors and other problems that make it unreliable for use. In fact, one rumor states that the book was actually written by the FBI, CIA, or some other branch of the US government, and that the dangerous errors in the recipes were put there to injure would-be terrorists. The book is treated more as a set of guidelines, or a book of ideas, than an instruction manual for terrorists, though it has been accused of promoting violence. Part of this book has a section on martial arts and unarmed street fighting.
PCH (Referenced by Veronica as she asks Weevil why he was at the gas station the day the bus crashed.)
Pacific Coast Highway refers to sections of California's Route 1, beginning at San Juan Capistrano, south of Los Angeles, and ending where Route 1 merges with Highway 1 at Leggett, in Northern California. Route 1 is one of the longest (644 miles) and most scenic routes in California, providing breathtaking views of a large part of the Pacific Coast. It travels past dozens of historical landmarks and through such cities as San Diego, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.
Plymouth Barracuda (Referenced as the dog who hit Harry's dog and later revealed as the car of Liam Fitzpatrick's grandfather.)
The Barracuda is a two-door compact/midsize car manufactured by the Plymouth division of the Chrysler Corporation from 1964 through 1974. It was directly spun off of the existing Valiant series to appeal to a sportier market, and it is also considered the first pony car, because it preceded the Ford Mustang to market by two weeks. The first generation Barracuda's main claim to fame was its enormous fastback wrap-around rear window, considered the largest piece of automotive glass ever installed at that time.
Despite its decade-only production era, the Barracuda influenced many other automobile designs, particularly others in Chrysler's stable. Chrysler's United Kingdom offshoot developed the Hillman Hunter estate based Sunbeam Rapier Fastback coupe for 1967, which clearly emulated the 1964-66 Barracuda's profile.
Nash Bridges ... (Referenced by Veronica as the only place to find Plymouth Barracudas these days generally.)
Nash Bridges, starring Don Johnson, was a high-action drama about a San Francisco police investigator who deserves his reputation as a topnotch cop, but who's not always so successful when it comes to his personal life (Wow, that sounds really familiar!). As a member of the elite Special Investigations Unit, Nash relies on his streetwise instincts, keen sense of humor and charm to work his magic on the streets of San Francisco (That sounds familiar, too. Hmm ... imagine this: *Announcer voice* "Next week on the CW ... Veronica Bridges. She takes on the hard cases with wit and charm, but still manages to complicate and sometimes even alienate those that she loves. Tune in to see if she can find a winning combination to the dilemmas of being ... Veronica Bridges!". Back to your regularly scheduled Social Science.)
Back to Nash, the show debuted in 1996, featured Johnson (formerly of the 1980s hit police drama Miami Vice) as Nash Bridges, captain of the SFPD's Special Investigations Unit. He was a man in midlife getting over two failed marriages and the growing up of his daughter, Cassidy (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe). Creech Marin (formerly of the 1970s comic duo Creech and Chon -- there is a drug or pot joke to be found somewhere in here, but I'll totally resist the impulse. It's my own personal "Way to take the high ground" for today) portrayed Joe Dominguez, Nash's partner and best friend. They cruised the streets in Nash's electric yellow 1971 Plymouth Barracuda convertible, a gift from Nash's brother Bobby before Bobby left for the Vietnam War (and is MIA). Also living with Nash was his dad Nick (James Gammon), a crotchety guy with a tendency to get kicked out of nursing homes.
Classic 70's and 80's vehicles were the mode of transport for the team and the Plymouth Barracuda seems to have a special place in someone on the show's heart. Maybe Johnson? Maybe the show's creator? Regardless, Veronica seems to have a clear understanding of the importance of the muscle car to the Nash Bridges Universe. I'm telling yah, I smell a spin-off. "Cliff and the Barracuda", Mondays on the CW following Veronica Nash ... errrr, Veronica Mars.
South Beach (Referenced by Veronica as she accuses Keith of watching the show instead of working.)
UPN drama that aired eight episodes from January 11 to February 22, 2006, when it was pulled from its Wednesday night 8 p.m. timeslot, presumably due to its embarrassingly low ratings and bad reviews. This primetime soap opera listed Jennifer Lopez (yes, J-Lo) as one of its executive producers and starred Vanessa L. Williams, Marcus Coloma, Chris J. Johnson, Lee Thompson Young and Giancarlo Esposito.
The series is about two best friends, Matt (Coloma) and Vince (Johnson), who leave Brooklyn for South Beach, Miami, Florida. Williams plays Elizabeth, the owner of Nocturnal, a nightclub managed by her son Alex (Young), the new boyfriend of Matt's ex-girlfriend. Matt struggles to get along with Alex and deal with his feelings for his ex, while Vincent takes a dangerous job with Robert Fuentes (Esposito), a powerful and shady underworld figure.
Veronica may joke about Keith watching South Beach, but it's really no laughing matter that the series' position as a temporary lead-in for Veronica Mars coincided with some of our series' lowest ratings.
The (Ten) Commandments ... (Referenced by Veronica to Keith regarding Logan's affair with Kendall.)
The Ten Commandments, or Decalogue, are a list of religious and moral imperatives which, according to religious tradition, were written by God and given to Moses on Mount Sinai in the form of two stone tablets. They feature prominently in Judaism, Christianity and Islam. The terms "Ten Commandments" and "Decalogue" generally refer to the passages in Exodus 20:2-17 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21 (which are broadly identical). Some maintain that there is an additional set of ten commandments (Exodus 34) which may have predated the ten commandments as we now know them.
In simple terms, the Ten Commandments are as follows:
1) "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt..." Simply, believe in the existence of God, that God exists for all time, that God is the sole creator of all that exists, and that God determines the course of events in the world.
2) "Thou shall have no other gods besides Me... Do not make a sculpted image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..." As in, believe in God and God alone. Do not worship a false god.
3) "Thou shall not swear falsely by the name of the LORD..." This commandment is to never take the name of God in a vain oath.
4) "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy" Simply, God rested on the seventh day and so should we. On that day, we should not work, but instead honor the holiness of the Sabbath and the greatness of Our Lord.
5) "Thou shall honour your father and your mother..." Pretty straightforward: Respect your parents.
6) "Thou shall not murder." Self explanatory. Although in Neptune, it seems like a lot of people can't remember the easy ones like this.
7) "Thou shall not commit adultery." Nuff said. Again, one of those easy ones people keep forgetting. Logan and Kendall, can you hear me now?
8) "Thou shall not steal." Unless you have keys to the office, know the Principal's son, and/or are doing it to protect truth and justice in Neptune. Or are taking back something that rightfully belongs to you. Because then, it isn't really stealing. Right?
9) "Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" One must not bear false witness in a court of law or other proceeding. No lying! Another one on the 'how easily they forget' list.
10) "Thou shall not covet your neighbor's house..." One is forbidden to desire and plan how one may obtain that which God has given to another. There is another, way more pertinent section in this particular commandment that goes "Thou shall not covet your neighbor's wife." Although I suppose Logan only made a brief visit to this commandment before heading right for commandment #7.
Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar ... (Referenced by Veronica to Billy, Harry's PCHer brother)
In the U.S., the phrase harkens back to colonial times when Spanish dollars that were minted in Mexico, Bolivia an other Spanish colonies were the widest circulating coin. Spanish dollars were deemed to be equivalent in value to a U.S. dollar. Therefore, when counting change, a quarter was two bits, fifty cents was four bits, and seventy five cents was six bits.
Cheney ... (Referenced by Veronica when telling Harry who he can shoot as in going "All Cheney" on someone)
Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney is the 46th Vice President of the United States under President George W. Bush. Previously, he served as White House Chief of Staff, member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Wyoming, and Secretary of Defense. In the private sector, he was the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Halliburton Energy Services. Much like our favorite resident Dick, this Dick got his nickname based on a penchant for stupid behavior -- in this case, driving while intoxicated.
Veronica's comment makes reference to Dick's most recent episode of stupid behavior. On February 11, 2006, Cheney, reportedly in view of six witnesses, accidentally shot Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old Texas attorney, in the face, neck, and upper torso with birdshot pellets from a shotgun when he turned to shoot a quail while hunting on a southern Texas ranch. Three days later, Whittington suffered a "minor heart attack" and atrial fibrillation due to a pellet that embedded in the outer layers of his heart.
The Kennedy County Sheriff's office has cleared Cheney of any criminal wrongdoing in the matter, and Cheney accepted full responsibility for the incident. (How big of him!) Whittington was discharged from the hospital on February 17, 2006, and characterized the incident as an "unfortunate accident." I'd characterize that characterization as an "understatement of near-mythic proportions."
Rick Springfield (Referenced by Veronica describing Keith's hair in his yearbook.)
Rick Springfield (born Richard Lewis Springthorpe on August 23,1949 in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia), began his career as a singer in the band Rock House. This band was followed by Zoot. Zoot became one of the most popular Australian groups of the late sixties He went solo in 1971 and decided to add acting to his list of credentials.
Springfield starred in the cartoon series Mission: Magic, produced by Filmation in 1973, where he appears in the animated format, along with the teacher Miss Tickle and her teenaged students. He had a successful acting career, beginning with a brief role as Zac in the 1978 movie Battlestar Galactica. He then became a soap opera star on General Hospital.
Though he never left music behind, these acting jaunts re-launched his music career as he had developed a very enthusiastic teenage fanbase. Springfield returned to music with the album Working Class Dog. Most notably on this album were the smash hit singles, "Jessie's Girl" and "I've Done Everything for You." (Admit it ... who doesn't have some kind of adolescent or childhood memory of "Jessie's Girl?" I thought so. Do you smell the Aquanet and see the bang-hair wave? Or still having nightmares of the perfect feather hair cut? Oh, and don't forget the neon ... Ahhhh, the 80's.)
Springfield won a Grammy in 1981 for Best Male Rock Vocal Performance for "Jessie's Girl." Springfield was also nominated for two Grammys in 1982 and one in 1983. He was already in his 30s at this time and had become uncomfortable with the teen idol image he portrayed. He tried, somewhat unsuccessfully, to do songs with more serious subject manner and a harder rock sound. A couple of top 40 hits with his more adult material was the result, but Springfield never quite gained the acceptance of the critical mass. He does, however, have an ardent and devoted fan population that still follow his career fervently.
In 2005 Springfield returned as Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital. His run was subsequently extended, although he remains a guest star and not a full cast member. In Springfield's current run on GH, his character is now a recovering alcoholic and widower who is trying to patch things up with estranged son while also dealing with a diagnosis of cirrhosis of the liver. (Talk about kicking a man when he's down ... he's like GH's version of Logan!)
The Wheel of Fortune / Vanna (White) and Pat (Sajak) ... (Referenced by Liam's grandmother to Veronica.)
The Wheel of Fortune was created by Merv Griffin and made it's network debut in 1975. Pat Sajak hosts this game show, a variation of hangman, where contestants guess letters in mystery words and phrases. They win prizes based on results of spinning a wheel and guessing correctly to solve the mystery. Vanna White stars as the 'letter-turner.' Contestants are always in danger of losing what they have accumulated in that round by landing on a "bankrupt space" or guessing an incorrect letter and another player then solving the puzzle. Originally, contestants used their winnings to shop for prizes contained on stage (cars, trips, furniture, furs, etc.). Later in the show's run, winning contestants won cash.
Maybelline (Referenced by Veronica as she compliments Weevil's gorgeous eyelashes.)
The Maybelline Company was founded in 1915 by T.L. Williams and named in honor of his sister, Mabel. The company remained with the Williams family until 1967. Since then, the company has been owned by Plough, Inc. (1967-1990), Wasserstein Perella Co. (1990-1996) and now is currently operating as a division within L'Oreal USA, Inc. In 2004, the company officially became Maybelline New York.
In 1917, Williams introduced the first eye cosmetic made for everyday use, Maybelline Cake Mascara. The product was originally only advertised and sold by mail, but in 1932 a special ten cent package was designed for sale in drug stores across the county. Other successful mascara products followed, including Ultra Lash Mascara (1960's), the first mass market automatic mascara and Great Lash (1971), still the number one best-selling mascara. The company expanded its product lines in the 1970's to include face, lip and nail cosmetics.
In 1991, their most recognizable advertising campaign was created that continues to this day with the slogan, "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." A recent list of celebrity Maybelline spokesmodels includes actresses Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kristen Davis, Salma Hayek and Sarah Jessica Parker.
According to their corporate website, Maybelline New York is available in more than ninety countries and is the number one cosmetic brand in the world.
Sorbonne ... (Referenced by Jackie to Wallace as to the college she was accepted at.)
A college founded by Robert de Sorbon in 1257 for theology students without any money. The Collge de Sorbonne stood as the celebrated theological college of the French capital until it closed in 1882 and became a part of the University of Paris. It is the most famous of colleges that currently constitute the University of Paris, and its name is often still used to refer to the entire university system in the city. The Sorbonne University today houses the Arts and Human Sciences faculties of the University of Paris. The Sorbonne's international reputation has always placed it among Europe's most important universities.
Paris (Referenced by Jackie as she breaks the news to Wallace that she's going to the Sorbonne.)
The capital and largest city of France, Paris is also the capital of the le-de-France rgion, as well as having the distinction of being the largest city in the world with an estimated population of 11.5 million. A leading global cultural, business and political center, the city is well known for its defining neo-classical architecture as well as its unparalleled influence in fashion and the arts. Paris has a reputation for being a "romantic" city and has held the nickname "The City of Light" (la Ville Lumire) since the 19th century.
Located on the river Seine in north central France, Paris is home to many museums, galleries, churches, and nightlife helping to make it the most visited city in the world with more than thirty million visitors a year. Paris' most recognizable symbol is the 1,063 foot Eiffel Tower on the banks of the river Seine.
The original Latin name of the city was Lutetia or Lutetia Parisiorum, which was later dropped in favor of simply Paris. The origins of the name are uncertain. It may be derived from the Gallic Parisii tribe, whose name might be from the Celtic Gallic word parios, meaning "cauldron." Paris might also be derived from Celtic language parisio meaning "the working people" or "the craftsmen."
Speed (Referenced by Weevil as he tells Liam he has his list of clients.)
"Speed" is a slang term used to describe stimulant drugs, such as caffeine, ephedrine, or most commonly methamphetamine. Methamphetamine is a stimulant drug that produces an intense sensation of euphoria when swallowed or snorted. Users become addicted to meth quickly and tend to use more of it with increasing frequency. The negative side effects to the central nervous system are depression, aggressiveness, insomnia and paranoia. Meth use increases heart rate and blood pressure and can result in stroke, cardiovascular collapse, organ damage and death.
In the United States, the illegal manufacturing of methamphetamine is punishable from ten years to life in prison. The sale of ingredients used in meth production is also heavily monitored. In March of 2006, President Bush signed the Combat Meth Act, which limited the sale of ephedrine, the base ingredient of meth, to 3.6 grams per day, and customers must provide identification and sign a sales log. The manufacturing of meth in labs is highly dangerous, and there have been many cases of lab explosions to prove it. Meth labs have been found in garages, barns, apartments, etc.
Coke (Cocaine) (Referenced by Weevil as he tells Liam he has his list of clients.)
Cocaine is the second most popular recreational drug in the United States. It is extracted from the leaves of coca plants, which grow in the Andes of South America. Cocaine is a powerfully addictive stimulant to the nervous system and is an appetite suppressant. Whether snorted, smoked or injected, it produces a euphoria that may last for hours. The adverse health effects to cocaine usage are respiratory failure, cerebral hemorrhaging, higher risk of heart attack and sudden death. Cocaine is a Schedule II drug in the United States, meaning that it is available by prescription due to its medicinal uses, but the illegal possession or sale of cocaine can result in a heavy prison sentence.
E(cstasy) (Referenced by Weevil as he tells Liam he has his list of clients.)
MDMA (3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine), most commonly known today by the street name ecstasy, is a synthetic entactogen of the phenethylamine family whose primary effect is to stimulate the secretion of large amounts of serotonin as well as dopamine and noradrenaline in the brain, causing a general sense of openness, empathy, energy, euphoria, and well-being. Tactile sensations are enhanced for some users, making general physical contact with others more pleasurable, but contrary to popular mythology, it generally does not have aphrodisiac effects. Its ability to facilitate self-examination with reduced fear has proven useful in some therapeutic settings, leading to its 2001 approval by the United States FDA for testing in patients with post-traumatic stress disorder. (Credit: Wikipedia)
Heidi Fleiss ... (Referenced by Weevil to Liam during their confrontation regarding the paddle information.)
Heidi Fleiss, known as the "Hollywood Madam," was born December 30, 1965. She was both the head pimp and an actual prostitute in her organization (clients she has "handled" personally include Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando). Convicted in connection with her prostitution ring, she was charged with pandering and tax evasion among other charges. Her ring had numerous famous and wealthy clients, including the infamous Charlie Sheen. She was sentenced to three years for her crimes.
It is thought that the reason Heidi's organization was targeted for intensive investigation is the pressure put on the police in the area by her competition. Some of her enemies, including pimps and madams of competitive prostitution services, and even some of the women who worked for her, wanted to put Heidi permanently out of business. They figured the best way to do it was to inform the police of her illegal activities, which they did.
In April of that year, the Los Angeles County Sheriff Department coordinated an elaborate plot, along with the FBI and other law enforcement agencies, to catch Heidi in the act of pandering. The plan involved an undercover Beverly Hills police officer who posed as a wealthy Japanese client looking to procure services. The agent contacted Heidi and arranged for four prostitutes to meet him and several "colleagues" at a room in the Beverly Hills Hilton. He offered to pay $6,000 for the girls' services. Heidi agreed to the arrangement and on June 8 she sent four of her finest girls, as well as 13 grams of cocaine, which was requested by the undercover agent. (There were undercover agents, cameras and bugs, Oh my!) The agents obtained verbal agreements of sex for money and the room was raided by 20 federal agents.
Heidi's arrest shook the very foundations of Hollywood. Around the time she was taken into custody, some of Tinseltown's biggest names feared that she would publicly expose that they procured services from her. It was a scandal of epic proportions that threatened many high-profile marriages and the jobs of some of Hollywood's movers and shakers.
Margaritas (Referenced by Veronica as she suggests that Kendall could have triggered the crash while lounging by the pool.)
The margarita is the most common of the tequila-based cocktails, and is made with Triple Sec and lime juice. The Margarita is typically served with salt on the rim of the glass, though bartenders who specialize in tequila may claim that the salt will hide the flavor of the tequila. There are four main contenders for the title of the inventor of the Margarita Cocktail. Danny Negrete is said to have created the drink in 1936; Francisco Morales is said to have invented it on July 4, 1942; Carlos Herrera is said to have invented it in 1947-48; and Margaret Sames claimed the drink was her own creation in 1948. All four claimed inventors mixed the drink at different ratios of tequila, Triple Sec, and lime juice.
Oscar (Referenced by Keith as he informs Veronica that Aaron's Oscar was found buried in the Kanes' back yard.)
The Oscar is the common nick-name for the statuette given by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences at their annual ceremony (also commonly known as "The Oscars") for artists granted an Academy Award. The official name of the Oscar statuette is the Academy Award of Merit. Made of gold-plated britannium on a black marble base, it is 13.5 inches (34 cm) tall, weighs 8.5 lb (3.85 kg) and depicts a knight holding a crusader's sword standing on a reel of film with five spokes, signifying the original branches of the Academy: Actors, Writers, Directors, Producers and Technicians. Its heft and easy to grasp design make it the perfect faux murder weapon for an aging Hollywood icon trying to beat a murder rap.
The origin of the nick-name "Oscar" is contested, but there are two popular theories. One story claims that Bette Davis named the Oscar after her first husband, bandleader Harmon Oscar Nelson. The other claims that the nick-name originated with the Academy's Executive Secretary, Margaret Herrick, who first saw the award in 1931 and made reference of the statuette reminding her of her Uncle Oscar. Columnist Sidney Skolsky was present during Herrick's naming and seized the name in his byline, "Employees have affectionately dubbed their famous statuette 'Oscar'." However it came to be, the Oscar represents the pinnacle of achievement in motion pictures. Or, if you live in Rob Thomas' world, the pinnacle of sloppy and crappy (if not convenient) red-herring plot devices.
- Weevil sacrificing the rat to the snake. Not unlike him sacrificing Thumper to Liam.
- Episode 19 of both season one and two involved missing/dead dogs as Veronica's mystery of the week (Mandy and her missing dog in Hot Dogs and Harry's dead dog in Nevermind the Buttocks). They also both deal somewhat with Veronica's suspicions of Weevil's role in the main season mystery (Lilly's murder/the bus crash).
- Weevil continues to call Keith "Sheriff" and he calls him Eli.
- Veronica seems to have eyes in the back of her head. Harry approaches her from behind, when he wants to ask her for help. She can't see him, doesn't turn around, and yet knows it's the person who's been following her around campus.
- Veronica listens to her audio surveillance device on the LeBaron's radio, tuned to FM 87.9. If you watch closely, though, the station is already tuned to 87.9, then she turns the dial until the signal comes in, landing right back on 87.9.
- In a callback to the series premiere, Veronica escapes getting caught with anything during a random locker search, but why the omission of her second voiceover line? It was in the casting sides, the closed captioning and if you listen it even sounds like her sentence was cut off.
- Was the South Beach joke written and filmed before or after UPN pulled the show off the air?
- According to a sign in the journalism room, the Movie Club at Neptune High will be holding an Aaron Echolls Marathon. Considering the subject of said marathon has been charged with bludgeoning to death a former Neptune student, who used to date his son, a current student, I think this event may be in poor taste.
- Apparently someone at Mars Investigations has some artistic talent that they seem to be wasting on the "At a Glance," desk calendar.
- Before Kendall transformed gold digging and seducing under-aged men into an art form, the former Priscilla Banks had a more modest start, during which she belonged to her high school's Marketing Club. Doesn't marketing fall under the category of business skills? Poor Beaver, he might have gotten a lot more than he bargained for with the wily Ms. C.
- Keith's pleasure in his PI skills.
- With just one scene, it seemed a bit much to write Jason Dohring up for Drama Club, but his one scene was just too deliciously wonderful to not get some notice at least here. He was absolutely hilarious, a pure joy to watch. (For the acting! The acting! Okay, and the hotness factor too. Fine.)
- Logan touching his hair as he told Veronica that he wasn't blonde as if definitively making his case that "See?" his hair is not blonde.
- Logan's "hmm" after Veronicalied said he wasn't hot.
- Seeing as how Veronica not being an 09er falls into the category of a 'townie' and seeing as how she was dating Logan last summer, it's not that big a leap to figure out that the townie whom Logan made moan without using his hands last summer was Veronica. Hmm, if you're not in the gutter right now, you're at the wrong board.
- Really, Francis Capra does indeed have Maybelline lashes. Nice to see the call-out to the man's gorgeous eyelashes.
- Kendall's decidedly unsexy look when with Liam. Quite the far cry from the 'I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way' wardrobe we've only seen her sporting until now.
- Weevil's implication that a specific part of his anatomy is not lacking in size in regards to the confusion about the tail between his legs.
- Logan's reference to post-coital excretions with his line to Veronica about his departure from the Casablancas home. ("She kicked me out before the sheets were dry.")
- Why would Aaron, in his attempt to frame Duncan, use one of his own personal possessions instead of something belonging to Duncan? How's he going to explain Duncan having it? Is he trying to make it look like a pre-meditated murder, with Duncan planning in advance to frame Aaron? But then how would Aaron explain the Oscar being buried and not left at the scene of the crime?
- Does Weevil know Thumper was killed in the stadium or was it just coincidental that he chose the word "crushed" to describe him? Weevil very likely knows the Fitzpatricks killed Thumper, but how would he know the details? It's not like he could or would ask them about it.
- Is there something more than business going on between Kendall and Liam?
- Didn't the Sheriff's department and the prosecutors watch the Lilly/Aaron tapes? Can't the authorities provide a better description of their contents since Veronica never actually watched the entire video?
- Lilly's blood and Duncan's hair was discovered on Aaron Echolls' Oscar. We know that Kendall extracted Duncan's hair from his shower drain, but where and how did she obtain Lilly's blood?
- Was the Oscar or the ashtray the actual weapon?
- If it was the Oscar -- was Kendall behind the robbery of Cliff's briefcase? The Echolls mansion was burnt down, so the only way the Oscar (if not the actual weapon) could have been gotten was if it was one of the items in the Echolls storage facility that Cliff had a key to ... in his briefcase.
- A news report stated that the murder weapon used to kill Lilly was discovered with traces of Duncan's hair on it, did doubt about Duncan's true nature finally start to seep into Veronica's brain?
- Given her association to the Fitzpatrick family, did Kendall know they were responsible for Felix's murder, of which Logan was falsely accused? And if she did, did she even care?
- Like Ethan Lavoie, Aaron Echolls' defense attorney asked, has Veronica heard from Duncan?
- How in the heck did Aaron Echolls win an Oscar? Is this some sort of alternative universe where Gigli also won best picture?
- Did "Priscilla Banks" purposely cause the car crash that resulted in the real Kendall Shiflett's death?
- Was Kendall's marriage to Big Dick another one of her scams?
- When did Kendall purchase her second, secret home and where did she get the money to buy it? Is there a reason she needs another residence?
- What nefarious schemes is Kendall involved with that she doesn't want Keith Mars to discover?
- Why did Weevil have the Anarchist's Cookbook?
- Does Jackie have a college fund that wasn't frozen with Terrence's other assets? Or is her mother covering the Sorbonne tuition?
- Big Dick was using the 8-figure insurance policy he had taken out for Dick and Beaver as a tax shelter. If both of the Casablancas boys were to die simultaneously (say, in a bus crash), the beneficiary would be Kendall Casablancas.
- The bus crashed on September 13, 2005.
- A green Plymouth Barracuda, most recently used by Liam Fitzpatrick, passed the limousine right before the bus went over the cliff.
- Weevil was following the bus to protect Cervando who had recently been announcing to anyone within ear shot that he hustled Liam Fitzpatrick. Apparently word got around to Liam, who needless to say was not pleased, and was trying to track Cervando down.
- Gia was talking on her cell phone to her father, Woody to inform him of her location, seconds before the bus crashed.
- Logan left Kendall hours before the bus crashed.
holly96 (Holly): Literature
JenniferH: Report Card; Chemistry; Band Class (Scene Descriptor); Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
katrina: Yearbook; Social Science
krissy215 (Krissy): Band Class (Song Identifier)
Iluvyoubearymuch (Kathryn): Literature; Homeroom; Philosophy; Principles of Democracy
Pixigal (Gerrie): Drama Club; Social Science
PolarTruckin (Belinda): Literature
SeluciaV (Alli): Journalism; Extra Credit; Literature; Social Science
Tar Frimmer (Joanne): Yearbook; Study Hall; Literature; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
Original Air Date: April 18, 2006
Written by: Phil Klemmer
Directed by: Michael Fields
Grade: A
Membership Grade: A (48.8% / 41 votes)
And the quarter final of this season just keeps on rocking like all those Elvis impersonators in Vegas. Another strong episode, Nevermind the Buttocks offers a boatload of information to the ongoing season-long mystery, but yet doesn't seem bogged down by it. This is a nifty balancing act that writer Phil Klemmer and director Michael Fields handle nicely. The mystery of the week -- seemingly the first one we've had in a few episodes -- actually winds up tying in with the season arc and both offer up some choice character moments for Veronica and Keith. Despite very limited Logan screentime and a subpar Wallace/Jackie subplot, the episode definitively classifies as one of the season's best.
Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Ryan Hansen - Dick Casablancas
Kyle Gallner - Cassidy "Beaver" Casablancas
Teddy Dunn - Duncan Kane
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Charisma Carpenter - Kendall Casablancas
Adam Hendershott - Vincent "Butters" Clemmons
Tina Majorino Mac
Daran Norris Cliff McCormack
Krysten Ritter Gia Goodman
Meredith Roberts - Cute as a Bug Manager
Rodney Rowland - Liam Fitzpatrick
Patrick Wolff - Hector
Guest Stars
Matt Bush - Billy Greene
Ethan Lavoie - John Prosky
Mary McDonald - Patricia Place
Tommy Snider - Harry Greene
Who's Who in Neptune
Billy Greene - Younger brother of Harry the "mad archer" and PCHer in training.
Harry Greene - The "mad archer" of Neptune, who's dog was killed in a hit and run and needs Veronica's help to find the guilty party so he can exact revenge.
Ethan Lavoie - Aaron Echolls' attorney.
Mary McDonald - Cataract-afflicted owner of the Barracuda that killed Harry's Dog and seems to have a weird affinity for The Wheel of Fortune.
Highlights
Enrico Colantoni (Keith Mars) - Enrico Colantoni continues to quietly shine whenever he is on screen and this week, he takes center stage in Nevermind the Buttocks. Colantoni has consistently layered his portrayal of Keith Mars with compassionate, intelligent, and humorous qualities and this is nowhere more readily apparent than in the suspense filled moment when he confronts Liam Fitzpatrick. His quietly impassioned "I have a daughter" as he faces a remorseless killer left viewers terrified and shaking.
This scene coupled with Keith's Bruce Willis slam-bam action hero moment provided the emotional anchor of an information-packed episode. As an extra bonus, Colantoni skillfully balanced this intensity with moments of enthusiastic delight as he displays his superb PI investigative skills to Veronica. A marvelous creation and example of beautiful symmetry between writer and actor, Keith Mars is a wonderfully etched character.
Scene One: The Waiting Game
Honestly, there really isn't much to analyze here. It was pretty much all surface. Veronica was uncomfortable that she had to talk to Logan about Kendall and while talking to him, it was clear that she was still just the slightest bit peeved about the goings-on between the two. Listen to the pause and change in her voice when she asks if he remembers (and here she paused) "doing the deed ..." Not only does she pause before delivering the sexual euphemism, a faint note of disgust enters her voice.
In other words, girl still has some very serious issues with this situation. And going out on the fanwanking bridge, I think she deliberately identified Kendall's place in Logan's life (Dick and Beaver's stepmom) because she knew that she would sound disgusted. By clarifying off the bat the whole stepmom angle, she was justifying the disgust as having nothing to do with the fact that she was discussing Logan having sex with someone who wasn't her. Obviously, she was covering her tracks before he could call her out on a jealousy charge. (I'd add that she's a smart one, that Veronica Mars, but she just said that Logan wasn't hot. Clearly, the girl DOES have some mental deficiencies.)
And Logan? Well, I think he's just playing the waiting game right now. He's not declaring himself, but he's making it clear that he's available (his reply of "vaguely" when Veronica questioned him about Kendall and the fact that he didn't contradict the past tense of her question). He's also making it clear that he still finds her attractive. Yes, yes, of course we know that he does, but he's flat-out saying it (ie, hot blonde). Finally, he also keeps throwing those reminders of their summer together.
- Logan: And last summer I made this townie girl moan without even using my hands.
So, see ... surface stuff. (Ah consonance.) Veronica is icked out by discussing Kendall with Logan because, well, it's icky (which she'll admit) and she's jealous (which she won't admit) and Logan wants her, he's just not out and out saying it yet because he knows she's not ready. But by nature of the fact that he IS making it known he's available and attracted, it is clear that he knows that she's getting there.
Not much, but now we're getting there.
Veronica is sitting alone at lunch when a large, kind of scary and apparently socially maladjusted guy approaches her. Realizing that this is the same kid she saw in the hall the previous day she breaks the silence by observing that he's been following her. The big lug comments that he's heard that she can find things. Yes, oh large one, Veronica can find many things. And she works better with financial incentive.
The big lug takes a seat and looks even more uncomfortable than he did only moments ago, if that is in any way possible. Lug tells Veronica that he wants her to find a car. More specifically, he wants her to find the car that hit his dog Apache and killed him. Lug is getting very emotional and Veronica, despite all her attempts to be stone cold, finds her marshmallowy center softening over the mention of a deceased dog. On a side note, I shudder to think of what Veronica would be capable of if anyone ever dared harm a hair on the head of her beloved Backup 2.0.
Lug tries to conceal the fact that he's crying while he tells her that when he heard the squeal of the tires as it swerved into the yard, he ran to the window and saw the back of the car as it peeled away. He wonders how much it would cost him to have Veronica find the car. Veronica, clearly feeling very badly for this dogless boy, tells him it will be $50 to $250 depending on how much research it takes. Then dogless boy asks Veronica no other man has ever asked her: Can she be paid with meat?
As dogless lug boy reminisces over what a great friend and hunting companion Apache was, he and Veronica page through an automotive book in the computer lab trying to locate the doggie car of death. Dogless lug spies the guilty car -- a Plymouth Barracuda, circa 1970 to 1973 -- but notes that the one that killed Apache was green. (What IS it with this town and the color green? At least the damn car wasn't wearing green argyle.)
They pop over to an available terminal and Veronica logs on to her handy-dandy cyber weapon of choice, privateeyez.com. She does a search on 'cuda's registered in Neptune, but comes up empty. Veronica assures dogless lug that she'll keep looking. Clearly, this one is going to take more than $50. Anyone know what that equates to in deer meat?
Later that day in journalism class, the new editor/teacher in teal is freaking because no one has seen Bob Patton and he owes this teach a ten inch story on the high price of graduation. Apparently no one can help teacher so he asks Veronica to scare up a generic student life photo to fill the gap. Veronica has a light bulb and asks teacher teal how much it would cost to place an ad in that space that currently reads "Pricey graduation story goes here." Cute. (The answer is a mere $40 for anyone keeping score.)
Veronica arrives at a house in what appears to be a less than '09ery part of town with a sad and empty dog house out front. She is greeted at the door by a skinny kid with a massive shiner. Veronica wonders where Harry is (the big dogless lug) and the skinny shiner kid wonders what she'll give him for it. Clearly this kid doesn't know who he's tangling with. Veronica offers him two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar, along with the opportunity to not get beat silly. Skinny shiner boy leers that he might like that. Veronica flicks him hard in his black eye and tells him she's pretty sure he wouldn't. I'm pretty sure she's right. Skinny shiner kid clings to his sore eye and dignity and sends Veronica out back.
In the back yard, Veronica finds laundry, a few racks of antlers, and Harry shooting a multitude of arrows at a fake deer. She comments that she hates fake deer too and one look at their stupid fake deer faces makes her want to grab a gun and go all Cheney on them. HA! Harry doesn't even pause in his precision slaying of the fake deer when he asks Veronica if she's found the car. She tells him that she hasn't, but she has found a lead.
Veronica asks Harry if he remembers seeing a sticker in the car window. Henry isn't sure because it was dark. Henry reiterates to Veronica that he really wants this guy found, and drives the point home (pun totally intended) by making a creepily accurate shot right into the eye of the stupid fake deer. Eeek.
As Keith crows about having some real PI chops (and yes, Super Dad, you do!) Veronica gets an IM from user "AnonCuda411" saying that if Veronica will PayPal him the reward, he'll email her the address of the owner of the dog-slaying Barracuda -- strictly anonymous. Yeah, old block, the chip's got some pretty good PI chops herself. And Veronica's off to chase the lead.
As Veronica knocks on the door of the home we have to assume belongs to the owner of the dog killing Barracuda, she speculates that perhaps it would have been smart to bring a bat, or some kind of large stick with her to the door. When the door opens to reveal a cranky old woman in a housecoat and large black sunglasses, Veronica begins to wonder instead if she shouldn't have paid the reward to Mr. AnonCuda411.
She asks the old woman if she's seen a green Barracuda around the neighborhood as of late. The woman tells her she hasn't seen anything since her cataracts came back, but wants to know what Veronica wants with her car. Veronica feeds her some story about trying to fulfill her father's long-time dream of owning a souped up 'cuda. The crotchety old lady informs Veronica that the car belonged to her dearly departed hubby, and it is staying in the garage until they take her away in a pine box. She then all but slams Veronica's nose in the door in her hurry to get back to The Wheel of Fortune, while Veronica wonders what the attraction of The Wheel is for a blind person. Excellent question, but one I suspect we shall never know the answer to.
Veronica heads into the garage to sneak a peak at the Barracuda. On one of the rear windows she spies a bit of gunk and after rubbing her fingers over it, determines that it's sticky. She grabs some powdered chalk conveniently loitering on a shelf and sprays the area. The chalk sticks to the sticky part of the window to reveal the outline of what looks like a pirate. Gia's mascot sticker, perhaps?
Veronica takes a seat in the car and has a bit more of a look around, but doesn't see anything obvious. She gets out some sort of bug or tracking device and plants it in the stereo. Then she leans over and opens the glove box and discovers a gun.
Now that Veronica has learned that Liam Fitzpatrick is the person responsible for killing Apache, she heads over to Harry's house to break the news. As she approaches the front door, she spies a shiny new motorcycle in the driveway. Harry's brother, now bearing two shiners and various other bruises, opens the door and tells Veronica his brother is upstairs. Before he can walk away, Veronica grabs him by his arm and asks if that is his bike out front.
Veronica has done the math and realizes that Billy knew all along who killed Apache. The same person, she speculates, that worked him over so well the previous evening. Billy begs Veronica not to tell Harry that Liam killed the dog as punishment for Billy not keeping up with his drug run. Not because he fears the beating he totally deserves from his big brother, but because he knows that Harry won't hesitate to strategically put a very sharp arrow tip through Liam's throat. Billy doesn't want Harry to spend the rest of his life in prison for murder.
Veronica turns this information over in her brain as she climbs the stairs to Harry's room. The reality is that the act of telling Harry that Liam killed his dog will lead to the inevitable demise of the man that tried to kill her father and who may also be responsible for killing everyone on the bus. Veronica realizes that although there are few people who would miss Liam, and god knows she isn't one of them, she can't bring herself to be the engineer of his demise. So when Harry asks her if she's found the owner of the car, Veronica sadly shakes her head and mutters "no" without quite meeting Harry's eyes.
- Cliff pours a glass of water and kindly offers it to Veronica as they face Mr. Lavoie, one of Aaron Echolls' high-priced defense attorneys. Mr. Lavoie repeats his last question for Veronica. Did she say that she saw Lilly and Aaron having sex on the videotape? She did. He asks if it was the actual act of intercourse. Veronica explains that there was a sheet covering them, but the motions of their bodies suggested copulation. It both looked and sounded like sex.
Lavoie asks if this is an area in which Veronica has first-hand knowledge. Cliff gets out of his chair, climbs across the table and slaps the arrogant overpriced snake in the face. Okay, not really, but that's what happened in my little fantasy episode. Cliff does, however, try to put a stop to this particular line of questioning. Lavoie insists that he needs to determine if Veronica actually knows what sex looks like. Cliff points out that Veronica has certainly taken a sexual education course in high school. Veronica says she did indeed and, in fact, got an A-. She also watches Animal Planet. And now I'm left with even more disturbing images of Lilly and Aaron than I had before.
Lavoie informs Veronica that statutory rape is a grave accusation. She, however, doesn't think it's that big of a deal to a murderer. And I'd have to agree. I mean, shouldn't they be a little more concerned about the murder charges right now? He asks her one final question. Does she keep in touch with Duncan Kane? Okay, I guess they are concerned.
Keith watches a special Channel 5 news report and calls Veronica out to the living room. The reporter is talking about how a construction crew came across an object buried just feet from where "their daughter's" body was discovered. Keith turns off the TV and tells Veronica that Lilly's murder weapon has been found. Confused, Veronica asks about the glass ashtray he found in the pool. Keith figured Aaron had used it because why else would it be in the pool?
Veronica thinks this new development shouldn't really change anything, but there's more Keith has to tell her. The new owners of the Kane estate found Aaron's Oscar statue in their backyard when they were moving the swimming pool. Still puzzled, Veronica wonders if that doesn't actually help them with the case against Aaron. Keith then tells her that in addition to Lilly's blood on the statue, the Sheriff found Duncan's hair. Veronica's stunned.
- Veronica notices Mac (sporting red streaks this week) despondently banging her forehead against her locker. Saving Mac from a concussion, Veronica tries to find out what's wrong. Pointing to the note stuck to her locker door, Mac complains that she's been mugged by her own principal. Seems there were random locker searches done that morning, which Veronica managed to avoid by carrying the contents of her own locker around in her bag all day. Mac wasn't so lucky and the principal confiscated a little illicit booty from her locker. Drugs? Porn? Of course not. This is Mac, so the item in question was a cell phone interceptor.
Playing the role of the self-proclaimed "psycho ex-girlfriend," Mac had borrowed it from her friend at Radio Shack so she could listen in on Beaver's cell phone calls. At this news, Veronica gives her a sympathetic look that makes Mac's guilty conscience think she's actually being judgmental of her sad self. But no, Veronica just wonders why she doesn't have such a neat toy. Mac reminds her that she does the gadgets and Veronica does the espionage, then she asks her for her help to get the interceptor back. Veronica agrees to see what she can do.
Outside the Administration Office, Veronica sits with her head ducked down, as Clemmons' secretary grabs her keys and rushes off to deal with her car alarm that's going off thanks to Veronica. When she's gone, Veronica rushes up to Clemmons' door and uses the key she got from Wallace at the beginning of the year. Or rather, a copy of the key, since Clemmons confiscated the original last fall. And it looks like Clemmons has foiled her once again, since he's changed the locks, making her keys useless.
Not one to be so easily deterred from her mission, Veronica waits outside a classroom and stops Butters as he comes out. Quickly launching into her "I was hoping you could do me a favor" routine sans head tilt, she asks him to help her get something out of his dad's office for her friend, Mac. He wants to know what would be in it for him and Veronica suggests that he'll be able to stick it to "the man." Seeing how Clemmons is his father, Butters points out that he gets to do that plenty, but he does need a prom date. Veronica declines, in no uncertain terms, but it turns out he wasn't asking her. And he's not wanting her to find a date for him, either. What he wants is to go to the prom with Mac. Veronica says she can probably arrange that, so he tells her that Clemmons always has bus circle duty immediately after the last bell of the day. They'll meet in his dad's office then.
Knock ... knock ... knock. Butters opens the office door to Veronica and Mac and is incredulous at the lameness of Veronica's "secret knock." Veronica argues that its simplicity is its genius. The girls rush inside as Butters points out they only have eleven minutes to get it done. Veronica pulls the box of locker booty out from under a desk and starts rummaging through it.
Mac lets Butters know it's cool of him to help her out. He lets her know that he's an excellent dancer so she shouldn't worry about that. Wha-huh? Mac obviously has no clue what brought on that bizarre change of topic. Poor Mac. It looks like Veronica didn't let her know the price of Butters' assistance. Butters continues that he enjoys dancing, but they don't have to dance because he also enjoys good conversation.
Trying to stop this "good" conversation before Mac catches on and incinerates her with one of her gadgets she didn't get confiscated, Veronica holds up a plastic baggie of fake vomit from locker 213. (Yeah, that diversionary tactic always works for me, too.) And then she goes on to show them locker 792's "Smell It Bitch" t-shirt. Mac is amused by Veronica's sudden Vanna White impression. Or she is until Butters asks her the color of the dress she's wearing. Still confused, Mac points out she's actually wearing pants. Butters laughs heartily at her joke. He just doesn't want to show up with a blue corsage if she's wearing a red dress because then she'll think he's an idiot. From the look on Mac's face, I think it may already be too late to avoid that.
Veronica continues going through the box as Mac finally starts to get the picture. She turns questioningly to Veronica, who smiles and holds up the item she's been looking for. Nervously chuckling, she slides the box back under the desk and gives the interceptor to Mac. And in case Mac hasn't figured out that she doesn't have to worry about a prom date any longer, Butters asks her if a white limo would be cool.
Later, as Mac helps the Mars family retrieve Kendall's files from the stolen hard drive, Veronica thanks her for the help. But Mac informs her she's not speaking to her. Eager (not Beaver) Butters has asked Mac if he should rent a room for prom night. Well, Beaver did wish her good luck on getting laid, but I really don't think anyone had Butters in mind.
- Jackie approaches Veronica at her locker and asks for a favor -- a good word put in for her at Java the Hut, where she's already dropped off an application. Veronica is surprised that Jackie would want a $6.75 an hour job that won't even keep her dog in sweaters. Jackie explains that the family assets are frozen and the only company she has at home are repossessors. Veronica tells a grateful Jackie that she'll see what she can do.
At the Hut, Veronica approaches the Cute-as-a-Bug Manager (who really needs to get an actual name, already) about her (pause) "friend" (still, aww, progress!) Jackie's application for the waitress position. The manager says she got a stack of applications and Jackie's listed no work experience at all. When Veronica says that Jackie could really use the job, the manager agrees to hire her if she'll vouch for her -- meaning Veronica will fire Jackie if she sucks. Veronica hesitantly agrees.
Wallace is flirting with Jackie in the hall. He wants to drop the dumb pals act and doesn't understand why Jackie is so worried about what other people are thinking. It's been two weeks, which is like a decade in high school years, and Jane's got a date (good for her!) this weekend. Besides, he jokes, Jackie's already "that girl whose dad blew up the kids," so people aren't going to be dissing her for hooking up with another girl's ex-boyfriend. If it were possible to stick his foot any further into his mouth at this point, I'd truly be surprised. She obviously agrees, as she thanks him for breaking it down like that and walks away. He tries to stop her, insisting she has to know what he meant to say. Sadly, again Wallace proves he might not know what actual words mean.
Veronica is relieved to see Jackie effortlessly wait on some customers at the Hut, no doubt pleased that it doesn't look like she'll have to fire her. She smiles and goes to tell Jackie that Table 8 has requested to sit in her section. Jackie goes off to find Wallace sitting there, eager to apologize. Jackie stoically tells him not to worry about it. He insists that he is worried, though, and then tells her what he really meant to say before the foot-in-mouth disease he's been afflicted with these past few episodes struck him down. If it's really her reputation she's worried about, he hopes she can get past it, but if it's just that she doesn't feel the same way about him that he feels about her, he'll understand and back off.
Jackie explains that she likes him a lot. Too much, in fact. Wallace is happy to hear this and says to hell with what anyone else thinks. Then Jackie breaks the sad news to him -- she's been accepted at the Sorbonne. Wallace thinks that great news until Jackie reminds him that it's in Paris. She'll be leaving the day after their graduation, which only gives them five weeks together. No happy ending in sight for them.
Later, Jackie finds Wallace back in her section again. He's been thinking and he doesn't care. Five weeks is five weeks. They should make the most of it, forget about happy endings and worry about being happy now. He doesn't know when he'll meet another girl like her and Jackie agrees that there's probably not another Wallace Fennel out there. He asks her to prom -- an invitation she happily accepts. And now it's time for a trip to Eric's Formal Wear for some fancy duds.
- Veronica was born with blonde hair.
- Veronica and Weevil have a morning Biology class together.
- Bob Patton is in Journalism with Veronica. He's overdue on a story about the high price of graduation.
- In the eighth grade, Logan got to second base with (lucky) Tammy Forrester in Duncan's closet.
- Kendall attended Handley High School and was in the class of 1994.
- Mary McDonald's green Barracuda has a California license plate, #45R5655.
- Cormac Fitzpatrick is in San Quentin State Prison.
- It costs $40.00 to place an ad in the 2005-2006 Neptune High Yearbook.
- Veronica is in the Mars family kitchen nuking food of indeterminate origin when Keith busts in the apartment all but bursting with news. Is Veronica ready to get her mind blown? Veronica makes with the funny and reminds Keith who he's talking to. Keith tells Veronica that Big Dick was using the life insurance policies that he took out on Cassidy and Dick as a tax shelter -- we're talking major moohlah in the eight-figure range. And here's the real kicker: It turns out that the primary beneficiary on the policies, if both boys should die simultaneously, is none other than Ms. Trophy Wife herself -- Kendall.
So now we know that step-mommy not-so-dearest had motive to want both of the Casablancas boys dead. Keith is all but jumping up and down, he's so excited by these developments. He tells Veronica he's going to look into what Kendall was doing the day of the crash. Veronica's got that look on her face like maybe she knows that what Keith ought to be asking here is who Kendall was doing on the day of the crash. But we'll get to that later.
Veronica and Weevil are in science class together -- um, huh, what? Since when would Ms. Kane Scholarship and Mr. Criminal Element be in the same class in any subject? *shakes head in utter bafflement* Moving on. The teacher tells Weevs to feed "Buddy." Weevil grabs a plump rat out of a box and lowers it slowly into a glass snake tank, and makes sweet talk and kissy noises while giving the snake her most important meal of the day.
Veronica snarks that it's so adorable when Weevil talks baby talk to the deadly python snake. Weevil tells her that he and Buddy have a connection as fellow members in the 'top of the food chain' club. Veronica thanks him for doing his part in the circle of life (and every time she says that I can hear that Elton John song in my head and I begin to wonder where Simba's gone off to). Weevil tells her that he has no problem sacrificing a rat, and I get the chills.
Veronica, Mac and Butters are in Clemmons' office trying to get Mac's cell phone interceptor back. Amongst the confiscated items, Veronica finds a copy of The Anarchist's Cookbook that belongs to the lucky owner of locker 333. Veronica asks Butters if he minds if she gives the book back to Weevil. Mac and Butters are both either astounded or concerned that Veronica knows Weevil's locker number by heart until Veronica points out that Weevs is the only guy she knows who would brag about 'meeting Satan halfway.'
Out in the parking lot, Veronica's lounging against Weevils car in a motor-oil-garage-calendar-with-naked-girls kind of a way. Veronica asks Weevil where Thumper is because she hasn't seen him around lately, and she's worried that he might miss prom. Weevil shrugs and comments that he's sure Thumper's crushed. And then Weevil does something really scary. He smiles at his own personal inside joke, and I get the chills again. Of course we know that what Weevil fails to disclose to Veronica, however, is that Thumper's crushed under several tons of demolished stadium. Well, at least we think he is.
Veronica shows Weevil the copy of The Anarchist Cookbook from Clemmons' office, notes that it was confiscated during the first week of school, and asks why he needed it. Weevil tells her he wanted to make the Survivalist Stew, but didn't much care for it. Ha, ha. Yeah, well, in addition to healthy meals for social protestors, it also contains recipes for bombs and the like. Weevil gets testy and asks Veronica if she's accusing him of blowing up the bus. She assures him she's just working out a theory.
Veronica has realized that Weevil didn't just happen to be at the gas station the afternoon of the crash -- he was following them. She also points out that the explosion didn't kill everyone on the bus, the drop over the cliff did. Who else but someone hot on the heels of the bus could have timed the explosion like that? Heck, she's pretty sure he could have hit "send" on his cell phone at any point and she wouldn't have been any the wiser.
Weevil wants to know why he would have blown up the bus with one of his boys on it? Veronica has determined that it was an accident. Cervando and Weevil were working together to kill the rich kids in the limo. Mr. "I don't mind sacrificing a rat" even put a dead one under the bus seats to drive the spoiled rich kids into the limo.
Now Weevil is getting really pissed off. Does she think he's stupid and that in their grand plan, he and Cervando couldn't tell the difference between a black limo full of rich kids and a big yellow school bus? No, it's not that. She just figures that they planted the bomb in Dick's goodie bag (*thinks dirty thoughts* Hee!) not realizing that Dick gave the bag to Bettina. So, big yellow bus go boom.
Weevil tells Veronica that none of those spoiled rich kids was worth that amount of trouble. Au contraire, mon frre. Veronica's fairly certain that Weevil would have found Logan worth the trouble. And although Logan wasn't there that day, he was supposed to be there. Veronica all but dares Weevil to tell her that he wouldn't hesitate to take out the guy who killed Felix. Recent events being what they are, Weevil refuses to lie and so instead, he sits in silence. Veronica notes his silence and concludes that at least Weevil got rid of Thumper and is now top of the food chain again.
Veronica arrives home from work the following evening to find Keith, nearly asleep on the couch, apparently reading phone logs. Veronica teases that he can't actually be working that hard and surmises that he was actually watching South Beach right before she came in. (Bad shameless plug UPN!) Keith asks Veronica if she knows why Kendall would have had reason to call Logan three times on the day of the crash. Well, now that you mention it ...
Veronica sighs deeply and sits on the couch with great deliberation before telling Keith in her own Veronica fashion that Logan and Kendall were sleeping together. I know it's hard to think about Veronica, but just put it out of your head. At least you never had to see it. And hey! If you hadn't been so dumb over the summer that well-loved, well-pleased, totally satisfied woman could have been you! So nevermind my earlier sympathy. Withdrawn.
Keith comments with surprise that they were sleeping together weeks before Big Dick fled the country. Veronica comments that perhaps Logan is a little fuzzy on the commandments. Keith asks Veronica if she could stomach asking Logan if he was with Kendall on the day of the crash. Oh, Keith, is that ever a loaded question!
The next morning Veronica is waiting in the parking lot as Logan (looking SUPER smokin' hot
, I must add) exits the Xterra. As he approaches, he adorably notes that this is exactly how he likes to start every school day: With a hot blond waiting for him in the parking lot. (Fangirls go squeeee!) Veronica agrees that she does too. In another adorably endearing move, Logan rubs his head and says "I'm not blonde" with such charming faux-confusion that it's a wonder Veronica doesn't just jump him right there. I know I would. Anyone else with me here?Veronica then starts in with the boldface lying when she says, "you're not hot either." It's one of those moments where you really wish lightning could strike someone down for telling such a blatant lie. Or maybe that her nose would grow so that Logan could have some real proof that Veronica wasn't immune to his ample charms. Anyway, Veronica just wants to ask him if he remembers the time he spent diddling the current Mrs. Soon-to-be-ex Casablancas. Logan snarks that he remembers that Kendall thought he was hot. (Me too! Me too!) Veronica ignores this comment and asks if he was with her the day of the crash because she knows they talked several times.
Logan is inordinately pleased because clearly Veronica has developed an obsession with his sex life, and wonders aloud if he should invest in a webcam. (Have mercy!) Anyway, he ponders for a moment but tells her he's not sure if he was with Kendall or not the day of the crash. He'd have to check his feelings journal to be sure. Hee! Veronica tells him about the insurance policies and the boatload of money Kendall stood to gain from Dick and Cassidy's deaths. Logan points out that Kendall needs a domestic staff to make cereal, so he's clearly not concerned about her potential as a criminal mastermind. Men are so easily blinded by large boobs and easy sex.
Veronica tries to steer him back to the point -- was he with Kendall on the day of the crash at 7:03 pm? Apparently Kendall kicked him out before the sheets were dry (another dumb girl), but based on her husband's penchant for firearms and the fact that the boys could have arrived home at any moment, Logan can't blame her. Anything else? Before Veronica can wipe the cranky look on her face, Logan provides some additional details.
He got to second base with Tammy Forrester in eighth grade in Duncan's closet. And as Veronica stomps off in yet another burst of professionalism Logan continues to detail his exploits by telling her that last summer he made this townie girl moan without using his hands. Okay, we've all said it, but I'm gonna say it again: That lucky townie girl was TOTALLY Veronica. And now that we have further proof of the boy's sexual prowess, I continue to marvel at Veronica's stupidity. Why on earth would you willingly give that up?!?! The thoughts of what he could have done without his hands to make her moan makes me need a cold shower and some private time -- not necessarily in that order. *fans face* Oh yes, dear Logan, it's all relevant. But don't worry; we're all keeping our own lists. YOWZA!
As Veronica enters school trying desperately to think about anything other than the aforementioned acts of moaning not involving Logan hands but clearly involving other Logan parts, Gia approaches with a copy of the Navigator in hand. Gia's all worked up because she has seen this car. It mooned her! Or, well, at least someone in the car did. Veronica asks for the where and when, and Gia comes up with a disturbingly specific answer: September 13th, 7pm, Pacific Coast Highway. Apparently the mooning 'cuda passed right by the limo just before the bus crashed.
Gia tells Veronica that she was the only one fortunate enough to be mooned because she was the only one facing that direction as the car passed the limo. She didn't think much of it at the time because she decided that the car must have belonged to a couple of college kids or something because of the mascot sticker in the window. She's fairly certain of the time because she was on the phone with her dad just moments before the crash. Ostensibly, the Woodster called to find out where she was to make sure she could still pick Rodney up after his piano lesson. As the weird ominous music swells in the background, I begin to smell something fishy -- red herring anyone? Or is it?
Night has fallen on Neptune and Weevil is in his garage working underneath his car as he sees a pair of boots in baggy pants approach. Weevil rolls out from under the car to see Hector lingering in the doorway. Weevil asks for a minute to wash up because otherwise Hector's looking to get grease stains on his throat. Weevil's clearly not in a forgiving mood. Hector sucks it up and tells Weevil that they made a mistake. No shit, Sherlock. Weevil's a bit incredulous -- they made a mistake and now, what? They want to take it back? Hector says that it's all they can do.
Hector is looking for help with the Fitzpatricks. He says they are all over the PCHers, treating them like their bitches. Weevil correctly surmises that he's pretty sure that's because the PCHers are Fitzpatrick bitches. Hector tells Weevil that it's getting worse. Weevil doesn't want to hear it, but Hector carries on anyway. He tells Weevil that Arturo, a freshman that Weevil wouldn't let join the PCHers, recently got a cigarette lighter taken to his face for being late with a payment. Ouch! Hector tells Weevil that people are getting hurt, and that people are going to die. Weevil's people, and he thought Weevil might want to know.
Keith arrives at the Mars Investigations offices bearing a giddy grin and a 1994 high school yearbook -- Kendall Shiflett's high school yearbook to be exact. Veronica muses that if Kendall was named "most likely to commit murder for profit" by her classmates, that is really gonna help support their latest theory.
Keith directs Veronica to page 87, where Kendall's yearbook photo can be found. Only the weird hairdo girl appearing as Kendall Shiflett in that photo is not the Kendall we know and distrust. And it gets weirder, if you can believe it. Keith flips to one of the pages featuring graduating seniors where we see a lovely headshot of Kendall who is apparently actually named Priscilla Banks.
It turns out that the real Ms. Shiflett (who I think it is safe to say would never have made the roster of Casablancas trophy wives) died in a car crash when she was 15. Oddly enough, it appears that the fake Ms. Shiflett was driving the car that introduced the real Ms. Shiflett to her maker. Veronica, I have to speculate that Kendall was trying to do more than shave a few years off of her age when she stole weird hairdo girl's identity. Keith reaffirms my speculation when he tells Veronica that it may have had more to do with the six months she did in prison for wire fraud.
Keith continues to do additional research on Kendall/Priscilla's background and makes a phone call to Mr. Banks posing as someone from the Handley High Alumni Association trying to track Priscilla down for the big reunion. Mr. Banks says that they'd like to track Priscilla down too, because they haven't seen her in quite some time. The only recent contact they've had from Priscilla was a get well soon card she sent her mother a few months back bearing a Neptune post-mark and no return address. Mr. Banks asks Keith if he tracks Priscilla down to let her know that her mother passed away.
Later that afternoon, Weevil pays a visit to Veronica at the Mars Investigations office. Veronica incorrectly assumes that he's there to confess because she can see his tail between his legs. Weevil corrects her -- it's not his tail, but he can see why she'd be confused. DAMN! Weevil tells her that he needs to get into Clemmons' office and he knows she's just the girl to help him. Veronica says that if he wants her help, he's gonna have to answer a few questions.
Number one, what does he want out of Clemmons' office? A paddle that belonged to Thumper that Clemmons confiscated several months back. Ah yes, I think we know that paddle Weevil. And Veronica also notes Weevil's use of the past tense -- not much gets by our girl. Although she's pretty sure she knows, Veronica asks Weevil what is so special about this paddle? He tells her he came across it in Thumper's locker when he planted the money at the winter carnival and that it was full of license plate numbers. Weevil was pretty sure that it was a list of customers that Thumper was dealing to and that he made it as some kind of insurance policy. Veronica snarkily wonders how that's working out for Thumper? Touch, Ms. Mars.
Weevil opens up a bit and tells Veronica, in all seriousness, that things between the Fitzpatricks and the PCHers have gotten really bad. Threats, beatings, torture, you name it. If that paddle is what Weevil thinks it is, then it would be a whole lot of leverage for the PCHers. Veronica deems that fair enough.
Second question: Why was Weevil following the bus the day of the crash? Apparently he was looking out for book-smart street-stupid Cervando who had been unable to keep his mouth shut about hustling Liam Fitzpatrick. Weevil knew that Liam was after Cervando for this gang-related faux pas, and Weevil was following Cervando around to protect him. He asks Veronica if she believes him. As Veronica points out, when he's batting those Maybelline lashes at her, how could she not?
In what is becoming kind of a Mars family ritual, Keith exits his office to find Veronica and Weevil chatting, much to his displeasure. Keith and Weevil share their typical banter: "Eli." "Sheriff." I can't help it. I love that one of the biggest bad asses in Neptune still respects Keith's position as former Sheriff more than Lamb's position as the current Sheriff.
Keith leaves and Weevil asks Veronica for the key to Clemmons' office. She gives it to him and tells him to keep it. He's surprised by the gesture until she tells him that Clemmons changed the locks, so the key is worthless. Now he's a bit pissed that he jumped through all those hoops for nothing. Oh, not for nothin,' Weevil. Veronica slyly tells Weevil it's a good thing that she made a copy of the paddle in question. Yes, Weevil, she is unbelievable sometimes. Veronica raises a brow and suggests that they do a little digging to find out the identities of a few of the people on that list.
While on her shift at The Hut later that night, Veronica watches her laptop and sees that the Barracuda is on the move. Okay, so it was a tracking device rather than a listening device. Check. She asks Jackie to watch her tables until close, and heads off after the Barracuda. Using the tracking device she finds the 'cuda on the road and follows it to a residential area. She tunes her radio to her favorite station, 87.9, and the sounds of the interior of the 'cuda fill the air. Okay, so it was both a listening and a tracking device. Double check!
The voice is singing along with the radio and we flash to a close-up of the driver's hands on the steering wheel. The driver is wearing a claddagh ring with the point of the heart facing in. Ah, an Irish love token -- perhaps the driver is a Fitzpatrick? The car pulls to the side of the road and a girl with long blowy hair gets in on the passenger side.
The chick tells the gent driving the car that she thinks "he's" still inside because she saw a flashlight moving around. He asks for his gun out of the glove box. Veronica panics as the guy gets out of the 'cuda and calls Keith to ask for help because she's afraid someone is gonna get shot. Keith asks for her location and she tells him that she's at the northwest corner of Tsetsuma (?) and Chandler.
Keith tells Veronica to pull up in front of the house and wait for him with the engine running, and if anyone but him should approach the car she should "get the hell out of here." Um, "here" Keith? All of the sudden Veronica begins to realize that her beloved dad is in the house but before he can answer her cries of "where are you?" and "what's going on?", Keith hears the door to the house open and ends the call while retreating into the shadows.
As Keith attempts to sneak out of the house in a less-than-stealthy manner, he is cornered by one Liam Fitzpatrick brandishing a gun. Liam chuckles about "the luck of the Irish" seeing as how the former Sheriff is now on the wrong end of a robbery in progress. Keith, totally without guile, asks Liam not to do this, not to kill him, because he has a daughter. Liam tells Keith that he's met Veronica and she's a sweet girl. I suspect that Liam is being sarcastic because he clearly doesn't know a thing about Veronica.
Liam ominously tells Keith that he'll keep an eye on Veronica after he's gone -- and pulls the trigger. Keith flinches, but there's nothing but a click, and then another and another as Liam continues to try to fire the gun. As soon as Keith realizes that the gun isn't loaded, he charges Liam and tackles him.
Outside the house, the chick gets out of the car and as she approaches Veronica she steps into the headlights. A rather stealthily dressed Kendall demands that Veronica tell her what is going on and who is in her house? Before we can puzzle this development out, Keith and Liam come crashing through the front picture window and land on the lawn. The two continue to wrestle and Keith lands a particularly painful blow. Liam drops to the ground and Keith makes a break for the car. He jumps in and Veronica takes off, threatening to flatten Kendall in the process.
As the Mars family speeds away into the night, Kendall asks Liam what the former Sheriff was doing in her house -- because it's not good. Liam tells her that Keith didn't say, but he'll be happy to track him down and find out. Kendall, clearly the brains of this operation, tells Liam that that would be worse. So much for Logan's theory.
Back in the LeBaron, Keith tells Veronica that the gun wasn't loaded. Veronica gives a small smile and tells him that she could have told him that -- if he hadn't hung up on her. The bullets are in the ashtray, and as Keith picks one up for inspection, Veronica muses that perhaps they should return the stolen bullets to Liam. In light of the situation Veronica, that really isn't very amusing.
Veronica goes on to ask Keith about Kendall/Priscilla's secret house, and asks him if he found anything. Like, perhaps, plans to blow up the bus? No, not really, but he did find something that might be interesting. Veronica turns her head to inquire as Keith holds up a strange box that he identifies as Kendall's hard drive. Give it up Veronica -- your old man may be getting a little lax on the stealth these days, but does have some pretty sweet PI skills.
Back at Mars Investigations, Mac Attack is doing some sweet hacking to get into Kendall's hard drive, while Veronica patches up SuperDad. The red X becomes a green check mark and Mac tells them that they are in. Veronica thanks her, but Mac snarks that she's not doing this for her; she's doing it for Keith. She's not speaking to Veronica because Butters has asked if he should get a room for prom night. (I feel the ick factor in your pain, Mac.) Keith asks Mac if she could print out every email and every document for his review -- Mac tells him his wish is her shift+command. Awww!
Over to the docks later that night where Liam and his boys roll up on the PCHers. Liam is less than pleased because it appears that the drug trade at Neptune High was a little light for his taste this week. Hector tells him that it's too bad -- what they gave him is what people bought. Supply and demand, you know? Liam reminds him that they are called "pushers" for a reason and tells the boys to throw a rave or something and create a demand.
Liam decides that perhaps its time to try a new motivational technique and tells the guys to string up the skinny one who has been short the last two weeks. A couple of the Fitzpatricks grab Harry's little brother and hang him from the very same hook that Weevil once hung from to take his beating. Liam throws one of the PCHer's hats to the ground and tells them that he'll cut the kid down when the hat is full of bills. Then he lets one of his bigger guys start beating on the kid.
The PCHers are clearly resigned and begin to pull money out of their pockets and wallets, tossing it into the hat. Moments later, Weevil pulls up in his green monster and all eyes are on him as he struts to the head of his former gang. He tells Liam that the PCHers aren't dealing for him anymore. Gentleman, start your engines ... and let the pissing contest begin!
Liam starts by reminding Weevil that retirement isn't all its cracked up to be. I mean, how's Thumper doing these days? Weevil just smiles and tells Liam that he hopes Liam isn't threatening him because he would think that Liam would be nicer to the guy who has this -- and he pulls a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.
Liam appears a bit off kilter, but maintains his bravado. Weevil unfolds the paper to show Liam Thumper's list of high end clients that Weevil identifies as lawyers on speed, coked-up athletes, and celebrities' kids rolling on E. Then Weevil twists the knife by asking Liam if he remembers how well Heidi Fleiss did once her little book went public. You can tell Liam's starting to get anxious as Weevil tells him to hold on to that copy of the list as collateral.
Liam tries to stand tough, asking Weevil how he can be sure that Weevil didn't make a copy. Weevil tells him not to worry, because, in point of fact, he made lots of copies. And those copies will go public if Weevil ever disappears. Liam threatens that Weevil ought to watch his back, but Weevil just smirks -- he won't have to because now he knows that Liam will be watching it for him.
Having been backed into the proverbial corner, Liam and the Fitzpatricks have no choice but to tuck tail and retreat. As soon as they do, the PCHers get celebratory and enthusiastic. Hector comments that he knew that Weevil would come through for them. Instead of embracing his former gang and resuming his role as the head of the PCHers, Weevil looks at them coldly and tells them that they are on their own now. Without another word or a backwards glance, he heads to his car and drives off into the night.
Back at Mars Investigations, Veronica and Keith are swimming in printouts from Kendall's hard drive. Veronica tells Keith that so far, the only thing she's learned is that the old woman with the Barracuda is Liam Fitzpatrick's maternal grandmother. Then she goes on to tell him about her conversation with Weevil about how badly Cervando had pissed Liam off and how badly Liam wanted revenge. Since Liam had access to explosives through Danny Boyd, her best theory now is that Liam blew up the bus to get Cervando. She can't seem to find a connection between Liam and Kendall at all.
Keith appears to have more luck. Apparently prisoner #246219 is the connection they've been looking for. There are 65 emails in her system to Cormac Fitzpatrick, Liam's older brother, who is doing time up in San Quentin for fraud. It turns out that Cormac and Kendall were partners, grifters working the long con. (I guess Sawyer skipped town too. Hee!) Keith speculates that perhaps Kendall's six month stint in prison was an act of generosity, taking the fall for Cormac and saving him his third strike. Which would mean that the Fitzpatrick family owes Kendall quite a bit of gratitude.
Now things are starting to come together for Veronica. Perhaps that means that Liam was only on the road to act as Kendall's eyes. If that's the case, he could have called her with the bus' exact location and she could have detonated the bomb poolside while sipping a margarita. Since Kendall kicked Logan out of the house hours before the crash, there was no one to witness her crime.
"Dame Esa Cosa" (Rene Brizuela)
Scene: Hector does the PCHGang version of "Stars and Stripes" before breaking into a chorus of "Leader of the Pack" all in an attempt to get the Weevster back on (illegal) track.
"Treat Her Like A Lady" (Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose)
Scene: He may be a murdering, thieving, PCHer-slapping, drunk, slimy, twisted, sick fuck, but Liam Fitzgerald does like to rock to his tunes, be it car or bar.
LoVe Lines
Logan: As a rule, I like to start every school day with a hot blond waiting for me in the parking lot.
Veronica: Me, too.
Logan: (Touching his hair in faux confusion.)I'm not blonde.
Veronica: (About Kendall.) Were you with her the day of the crash? You two talked on the phone a few times that day.
Logan: Man, you are obsessed with my sex life. Do I need to start carrying around a webcam from now on?
Veronica: Logan ... (Warningly.)
Logan: Day of the crash ... Day of the crash. Ahhh, I'd really have to consult my feelings journal to be sure.
Veronica: Kendall stood to make millions by sending Dick and Beaver over that cliff. There was an insurance policy.
Logan: Kendall requires a domestic staff to make cereal. You think she could really plot a murder?
Veronica: Were you with her at 7:03?
Logan: Actually she kicked me out before the sheets were dry, but considering her husband's fondness for handguns and the fact that Dick and Beaver could come home at any minute, who could blame her?
Logan: (To a retreating Veronica about Veronica.) And last summer I made this townie girl moan without even using my hands. Is any of this relevant? Should I make a list?
Quotable Quotes
Mr. Lavoie: She said it looked as though they were having sex. I need to make sure she knows what sex looks like.
Cliff: I'm sure Miss Mars has had the required sexual education course provided by Neptune High School.
Veronica: I got an A-. Plus, I watch Animal Planet.
Mr. Lavoie: Statutory rape is a grave accusation.
Veronica: Not to a murderer.
Keith: Prepare to have your mind blown. Are you ready?
Veronica: Think back eighteen years. Small. Blonde. Baby. Born ready.
Veronica: The wicked stepmother trying to bump off her rich husband's spawn. That's a Disney movie, isn't it?
Weevil: (To snake.) Someone was hungry, huh? (Makes kissy noises.)
Veronica: Someone's baby-talking a python.
Weevil: Yeah. We got a special connection, me and Buddy. Top of the food chain.
Veronica: Well, on behalf of nature, thank you for doing your part in the circle of life.
Veronica: (Sees Mac banging her head on her locker.) Mac-Attack, what's the haps?
Mac: I got mugged. By my own principal. They took my cellphone interceptor and apparently plan on keeping it until the end of the year. What happened to "end of the day?" Why wasn't that working?
Veronica: Everyone still kept bringing in their cellphone interceptors?
Mac: Is there any chance you can get it back for me? I borrowed it from my friend at Radio Shack because apparently I've become a psycho ex-girlfriend and I wanted to listen to Beaver's cellphone calls. (Sees the look on Veronica's face.) You're judging me.
Veronica: Nope. I'm judging myself. Why don't I have a cellphone interceptor?
Mac: Please respect the business model, Veronica. I do the gadgets. You do the espionage.
Veronica: Do you mind if I give this Anarchist Cookbook back to Weevil?
Vincent: You know his locker number?
Veronica: (Holding up tag marked "333.") Who else would brag about meeting Satan halfway?
Veronica: You seen Thumper lately, Weevil? It's just nobody's heard from him in weeks. If he doesn't show up soon, he's gonna miss prom.
Weevil: Yeah. Well, I'm sure he's crushed.
Veronica: (To Keith looking exhausted from deep case research) There is no way you are working that hard. You heard me coming and turned of South Beach didn't you.
Weevil: (Sliding out form under a car to find Hector in the workshop) You here to start something, dog? You should let me wash up beforehand, 'less you don't mind grease around your throat.
Hector: We made a mistake.
Weevil: A mistake? So you come here 'cause you think you can take it back?
Hector: 'Cause it's all I can do. (Weevil turns away but Hector persists.) It's the Fitzpatricks, Weevil, they've been all over us -- just treating us like their bitches.
Weevil: My guess would be that's 'cause you are their bitches.
Keith: Okay, now prepare to be impressed! (He comes toward Veronica excitedly holding up a yearbook)
Veronica: Dad, you've shown me your yearbook. The whole Rick Springfield, feathered hair thing ... it looked awesome on you but those days are over and it's time to move on.
Keith: This is Kendall Shiflett's high school yearbook.
Veronica: And she was named most likely to commit murder for profit? That would really help our latest theory.
Veronica: The real Kendall Shiflett is dead.
Keith: And even weirder still: Miss Banks -- our fake Kendall -- was at the wheel when she was killed.
Veronica: (Shaking head.) The lengths a woman will go to to shave a few years off her age.
Keith: Admit it! The old man's got some P.I. chops! (Veronica gets distracted by a message on her computer and Keith frowns.) Well I thought it was some pretty sweet detectiving.
Veronica: You here to confess? Is that your tail I see between your legs?
Weevil: No, but I can see how you might get confused.
Weevil: A paddle. It belonged to thumper; Clemmons confiscated it.
Veronica: Belonged? Interesting use of the past tense.
Weevil: I had his back, just in case. Do you believe me?
Veronica: How could I not when you're batting those Maybelline lashes at me?
Keith: Eli.
Weevil: Sheriff.
Jackie: (Speaking to Wallace sadly.) It's in Paris. I leave the day after Graduation. What's that give us? Five weeks? Just enough time to get our hearts broken. There's no happy ending out there for us.
Veronica (Speaking to Kendall who's standing in front of her car.): Move or you're a hood ornament.
Veronica: So, I take it Kendall Casablancas/Priscilla Banks has a secret house.
Keith: Yup. I take it you found your Barracuda.
Veronica: Yup. You find anything in the house? Say, plans to blow up the bus?
Mac: Mr. Mars, what else can I do for you?
Keith You mind printing every e-mail, every document?
Mac: Your wish is my shift-command. (Pausing.) Little computer humor for you, there.
Veronica: I liked it better when you weren't speaking to me.
Weevil: The PCHers ain't dealing for you no more.
Liam: Okay. So, uh, what? We just shake hands and walk away like gentleman?
Weevil: Not sure I'm interested in the handshake, but I'm fine with the walking away.
Liam: You know, uh, retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be. How's Thumper?
Weevil: You're not threatening me are you? 'Cause you ought to be nicer to a guy who's got this. (Takes a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.)
Liam: What's that supposed to be?
Weevil: Just a list. Of all your big-shot clients. Lawyers on speed, coked-up athletes, celebrities' kids rolling on E. Ask yourself this question: Exactly how much business did Heidi Fleiss do when her little book went public? (Goes to hand the list off to Liam.) You might want to hold on to that for me. We'll call it collateral.
Liam: So, uh, how do I know you didn't make a copy?
Weevil: Oh, I did make copies. Lots of 'em. And the day I go missing is the day they go public. Might want to keep that in mind.
Liam: Mmhmm. You might wanna watch your back.
Weevil: Why? You're gonna be watching it for me.
Veronica: I've learned that when someone just stands there with his mouth open like that? It means he's guilty.
Billy: Listen, just don't tell Harry. If he finds out what happened
Veronica: Cry to someone else. This beating you've got coming.
Veronica Mars Voiceover: So all I have to do is give Harry the name of the man who tried to kill my dad in cold blood last night. Liam Fitzpatrick. He's a killer and there's a good possibility he's responsible for the deaths of everybody on that bus. I, for one, wouldn't miss him.
Harry: Were you able to find out who ran over my dog?
Veronica: (After a great deal of thought, Veronica shakes her head and doesn't quite meet Harry's eyes.) No.
Never Mind the Bollocks ... (Referenced by the episode title Nevermind the Buttocks.)
This 1977 Sex Pistols album is often considered one of the greatest, most inspiring rock records of all time. According to one critic, "Never Mind the Bollocks perfectly articulated the frustration, rage, and dissatisfaction of the British working class with the establishment, a spirit quick to translate itself to strictly rock & roll terms. The Sex Pistols paved the way for countless other bands to make similarly rebellious statements, but arguably none were as daring or effective."
The relevance to Veronica Mars is a little less than obvious. Does it speak to the class wars and socioeconomic strain that currently divides the community of Neptune? Is it a commentary on the idea that everything in Neptune is dark and broken underneath its pretty and acceptable surface? Is it solely a somewhat clever play on words making reference to the Barracuda mooner who may or may not have been involved in the bus crash? I wish I could say I had a clue.
On the whole, some of the song titles seem to speak to themes of the series "Bodies," "No Feelings," "Liar," "Problems," "Seventeen"), but the lyrics for these songs don't seem to echo any of the show or series' themes. However there is one lyric in one song that I found interesting. The song is "Sub-Mission;" although, in its entirety, it doesn't apply to the show, there are a few lines that give me pause:
- I can't tell you what I've found
For there's a mystery
Under the sea in the water
Come and share it
I can't tell ya what I've found
'Cause it's a secret
Animal Planet ... (Referenced by Veronica to Aaron's lawyer when he questions her sexual knowledge.)
Animal Planet, launched in 1996, is a cable and satellite television network co-owned 80% by Discovery Communications, Inc. (parent company of Discovery Channel, TLC, Discovery Health Channel, and The Travel Channel) and 20% by the BBC Worldwide. The channel is dedicated to programming that highlights the relationship between humans and animals, including the Animal Cops series, The Crocodile Hunter, The Jeff Corwin Experience, and Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.
Now I'm sure that Wild Kingdom has plenty to offer on the mating rituals of various animals. But for my money, I'd think that Veronica would have picked up more of an education on the mating rituals of statutory rapists in Hollywood by watching Danielle Steele direct-to-cable movies on Lifetime. But maybe that's just me.
Wicked Stepmother / Disney movie ... (Referenced by Veronica to Keith regarding Kendall and the insurance policy.)
There are over 900 stories written about wicked or evil stepmothers. Popularly characterized by Walt Disney in the movies Snow White and Cinderella, the wicked stepmother always treats the innocent child harshly, favoring her own children over the stepchild. In many cases the wicked stepmother's goal is to ultimately kill the child so that her own life is easier.
In Snow White, the wicked stepmother sends poor innocent Snow White into the woods to be killed by the woodsman. When this plan is thwarted, she resorts to a poisoned apple. Beautiful on the outside and yet evil and calculating on the inside, the evil stepmother eventually faces retribution for her cruel acts. Does this future lie in wait for Kendall/Priscilla? It's still unclear whether Kendall will be watching in frustration as the Casablanca boys have a happy ever after ala Cinderella or plummeting off a cliff to her own death ala Snow White.
The Food Chain ... (Referenced by Weevil to Veronica in classroom.)
Food chains and food webs or food networks describe the feeding relationships between species in a biotic community. In other words, they show the transfer of material and energy from one species to another within an ecosystem.
As usually diagrammed, an organism is connected to another organism for which it is a source of food energy and material by an arrow representing the direction of biomass transfer. Organisms are grouped into trophic levelsfrom the Greek for nourishment, trophikosbased on how many links they are removed from the primary producers. Primary producers, or autotrophs, are species capable of producing complex organic substances (essentially "food") from an energy source and inorganic materials. These organisms are typically photosynthetic plants or algae, but in rare cases, like those organisms forming the base of deep-sea vent food webs, can be chemotrophic. All organisms that eat the autotrophs are called heterotrophs. They get their energy by eating the producers. (Courtesy of Wikipedia, April 22, 2006)
Circle of Life ... (Referenced by Veronica to Weevil with respect to his position on the food chain)
The circle of life refers to the way that all living things in our world are connected by the mere act of existence. It also references the way that life is cyclical from birth to death, but has no real ending.
The Circle of Life is also the Academy Award nominated song by Elton John and lyricist Tim Rice from the animated Disney musical The Lion King. The song, which plays over the opening scene of the movie depicting the birth of Simba, the young lion king, echoes the themes outlined above. The lyrics are as follows:
- From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
Some say eat or be eaten
Some say live and let live
But all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give
In the circle of life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap of faith
It's the band of hope
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle, the circle of life
Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
Radio Shack ... (Referenced by Mac to Veronica about her borrowed cell interceptor.)
Radio Shack was founded in 1921 by two brothers, Theodore and Milton Duetschmann, who wanted to provide equipment for the cutting-edge field of ham radio. The name of the store was taken from the name of the small structure that housed a ship's radio equipment at the time. Today, Radio Shack runs a chain of electronics retail stores in the US as well as parts of Europe and South America. As of 2003 it had more than 7,000 stores in the US alone, and reported revenues of more than $4.6 billion. Radio Shack's head office is located in Fort Worth, Texas.
Bond ... (Referenced by Veronica describing setting off the car alarm to get Clemmons' secretary out of the office.)
Bond (as in James Bond) is a fictional British spy, created by author Ian Fleming. The character, a smooth ladies man and fearless agent, went on to become the focal point of several novels, twenty major motion pictures, video games, comics, and parodies (Austin Powers). In the films, several actors have played the role over the years including Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan. To this day the Bond stories continue to draw the interest, and revenue, of audiences.
"The Man" ... (Referenced by Veronica when trying to convince Butters to help her get into Clemmons' office.)
Referring to an individual as "The Man" generally implies that said individual is a figure of authority and one who is oppressive. This turn of phrase is so pervasive today that it more often than not refers to any general authority in any given environment. Its ubiquity has also engendered a form of ironic facetiousness in its use as well, providing a punchline to an unnecessary attempt to resist authority.
The Anarchist Cookbook ... (Referenced by Veronica when she finds it in Clemmons' office and confronts Weevil about it.)
The Anarchist Cookbook, written by William Powell, was first published in 1970. Despite its misleading title, it isn't a collection of recipes for the anarchist trying to impress his friends at his next protest with a lovely souffl. The book was actually intended as a protest against the United States government over the Vietnam war. It contains 'recipes' and instructions for the manufacture of explosives, drugs, a number of now-obsolete telecommunications hacking devices, and other controversial themes.
Despite the name, the book has no connection to the anarchist movement and is in fact heavily criticized by most anarchists. The book is now regarded to be public domain and is easily accessible on the internet. The author has disowned it and, though the copyright having been registered in the name of his publisher, he does not receive royalties from it.
While The Anarchist Cookbook is legally available in the United States, it is illegal in many other countries. The information contained in the book includes instructions that, if followed, may be against the law. Because of this, access to the book is often restricted, with some bookstores refusing to sell the book to persons under 21 years of age. Authorities and munitions experts have stated that the instructions in the book should never be attempted by inexperienced persons.
It has been suggested that the book contains errors and other problems that make it unreliable for use. In fact, one rumor states that the book was actually written by the FBI, CIA, or some other branch of the US government, and that the dangerous errors in the recipes were put there to injure would-be terrorists. The book is treated more as a set of guidelines, or a book of ideas, than an instruction manual for terrorists, though it has been accused of promoting violence. Part of this book has a section on martial arts and unarmed street fighting.
PCH (Referenced by Veronica as she asks Weevil why he was at the gas station the day the bus crashed.)
Pacific Coast Highway refers to sections of California's Route 1, beginning at San Juan Capistrano, south of Los Angeles, and ending where Route 1 merges with Highway 1 at Leggett, in Northern California. Route 1 is one of the longest (644 miles) and most scenic routes in California, providing breathtaking views of a large part of the Pacific Coast. It travels past dozens of historical landmarks and through such cities as San Diego, Los Angeles, and San Francisco.
Plymouth Barracuda (Referenced as the dog who hit Harry's dog and later revealed as the car of Liam Fitzpatrick's grandfather.)
The Barracuda is a two-door compact/midsize car manufactured by the Plymouth division of the Chrysler Corporation from 1964 through 1974. It was directly spun off of the existing Valiant series to appeal to a sportier market, and it is also considered the first pony car, because it preceded the Ford Mustang to market by two weeks. The first generation Barracuda's main claim to fame was its enormous fastback wrap-around rear window, considered the largest piece of automotive glass ever installed at that time.
Despite its decade-only production era, the Barracuda influenced many other automobile designs, particularly others in Chrysler's stable. Chrysler's United Kingdom offshoot developed the Hillman Hunter estate based Sunbeam Rapier Fastback coupe for 1967, which clearly emulated the 1964-66 Barracuda's profile.
Nash Bridges ... (Referenced by Veronica as the only place to find Plymouth Barracudas these days generally.)
Nash Bridges, starring Don Johnson, was a high-action drama about a San Francisco police investigator who deserves his reputation as a topnotch cop, but who's not always so successful when it comes to his personal life (Wow, that sounds really familiar!). As a member of the elite Special Investigations Unit, Nash relies on his streetwise instincts, keen sense of humor and charm to work his magic on the streets of San Francisco (That sounds familiar, too. Hmm ... imagine this: *Announcer voice* "Next week on the CW ... Veronica Bridges. She takes on the hard cases with wit and charm, but still manages to complicate and sometimes even alienate those that she loves. Tune in to see if she can find a winning combination to the dilemmas of being ... Veronica Bridges!". Back to your regularly scheduled Social Science.)
Back to Nash, the show debuted in 1996, featured Johnson (formerly of the 1980s hit police drama Miami Vice) as Nash Bridges, captain of the SFPD's Special Investigations Unit. He was a man in midlife getting over two failed marriages and the growing up of his daughter, Cassidy (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe). Creech Marin (formerly of the 1970s comic duo Creech and Chon -- there is a drug or pot joke to be found somewhere in here, but I'll totally resist the impulse. It's my own personal "Way to take the high ground" for today) portrayed Joe Dominguez, Nash's partner and best friend. They cruised the streets in Nash's electric yellow 1971 Plymouth Barracuda convertible, a gift from Nash's brother Bobby before Bobby left for the Vietnam War (and is MIA). Also living with Nash was his dad Nick (James Gammon), a crotchety guy with a tendency to get kicked out of nursing homes.
Classic 70's and 80's vehicles were the mode of transport for the team and the Plymouth Barracuda seems to have a special place in someone on the show's heart. Maybe Johnson? Maybe the show's creator? Regardless, Veronica seems to have a clear understanding of the importance of the muscle car to the Nash Bridges Universe. I'm telling yah, I smell a spin-off. "Cliff and the Barracuda", Mondays on the CW following Veronica Nash ... errrr, Veronica Mars.
South Beach (Referenced by Veronica as she accuses Keith of watching the show instead of working.)
UPN drama that aired eight episodes from January 11 to February 22, 2006, when it was pulled from its Wednesday night 8 p.m. timeslot, presumably due to its embarrassingly low ratings and bad reviews. This primetime soap opera listed Jennifer Lopez (yes, J-Lo) as one of its executive producers and starred Vanessa L. Williams, Marcus Coloma, Chris J. Johnson, Lee Thompson Young and Giancarlo Esposito.
The series is about two best friends, Matt (Coloma) and Vince (Johnson), who leave Brooklyn for South Beach, Miami, Florida. Williams plays Elizabeth, the owner of Nocturnal, a nightclub managed by her son Alex (Young), the new boyfriend of Matt's ex-girlfriend. Matt struggles to get along with Alex and deal with his feelings for his ex, while Vincent takes a dangerous job with Robert Fuentes (Esposito), a powerful and shady underworld figure.
Veronica may joke about Keith watching South Beach, but it's really no laughing matter that the series' position as a temporary lead-in for Veronica Mars coincided with some of our series' lowest ratings.
The (Ten) Commandments ... (Referenced by Veronica to Keith regarding Logan's affair with Kendall.)
The Ten Commandments, or Decalogue, are a list of religious and moral imperatives which, according to religious tradition, were written by God and given to Moses on Mount Sinai in the form of two stone tablets. They feature prominently in Judaism, Christianity and Islam. The terms "Ten Commandments" and "Decalogue" generally refer to the passages in Exodus 20:2-17 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21 (which are broadly identical). Some maintain that there is an additional set of ten commandments (Exodus 34) which may have predated the ten commandments as we now know them.
In simple terms, the Ten Commandments are as follows:
1) "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt..." Simply, believe in the existence of God, that God exists for all time, that God is the sole creator of all that exists, and that God determines the course of events in the world.
2) "Thou shall have no other gods besides Me... Do not make a sculpted image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..." As in, believe in God and God alone. Do not worship a false god.
3) "Thou shall not swear falsely by the name of the LORD..." This commandment is to never take the name of God in a vain oath.
4) "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy" Simply, God rested on the seventh day and so should we. On that day, we should not work, but instead honor the holiness of the Sabbath and the greatness of Our Lord.
5) "Thou shall honour your father and your mother..." Pretty straightforward: Respect your parents.
6) "Thou shall not murder." Self explanatory. Although in Neptune, it seems like a lot of people can't remember the easy ones like this.
7) "Thou shall not commit adultery." Nuff said. Again, one of those easy ones people keep forgetting. Logan and Kendall, can you hear me now?
8) "Thou shall not steal." Unless you have keys to the office, know the Principal's son, and/or are doing it to protect truth and justice in Neptune. Or are taking back something that rightfully belongs to you. Because then, it isn't really stealing. Right?
9) "Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" One must not bear false witness in a court of law or other proceeding. No lying! Another one on the 'how easily they forget' list.
10) "Thou shall not covet your neighbor's house..." One is forbidden to desire and plan how one may obtain that which God has given to another. There is another, way more pertinent section in this particular commandment that goes "Thou shall not covet your neighbor's wife." Although I suppose Logan only made a brief visit to this commandment before heading right for commandment #7.
Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar ... (Referenced by Veronica to Billy, Harry's PCHer brother)
- "Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar!
All for (insert school), stand up and holler!"
In the U.S., the phrase harkens back to colonial times when Spanish dollars that were minted in Mexico, Bolivia an other Spanish colonies were the widest circulating coin. Spanish dollars were deemed to be equivalent in value to a U.S. dollar. Therefore, when counting change, a quarter was two bits, fifty cents was four bits, and seventy five cents was six bits.
Cheney ... (Referenced by Veronica when telling Harry who he can shoot as in going "All Cheney" on someone)
Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney is the 46th Vice President of the United States under President George W. Bush. Previously, he served as White House Chief of Staff, member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Wyoming, and Secretary of Defense. In the private sector, he was the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Halliburton Energy Services. Much like our favorite resident Dick, this Dick got his nickname based on a penchant for stupid behavior -- in this case, driving while intoxicated.
Veronica's comment makes reference to Dick's most recent episode of stupid behavior. On February 11, 2006, Cheney, reportedly in view of six witnesses, accidentally shot Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old Texas attorney, in the face, neck, and upper torso with birdshot pellets from a shotgun when he turned to shoot a quail while hunting on a southern Texas ranch. Three days later, Whittington suffered a "minor heart attack" and atrial fibrillation due to a pellet that embedded in the outer layers of his heart.
The Kennedy County Sheriff's office has cleared Cheney of any criminal wrongdoing in the matter, and Cheney accepted full responsibility for the incident. (How big of him!) Whittington was discharged from the hospital on February 17, 2006, and characterized the incident as an "unfortunate accident." I'd characterize that characterization as an "understatement of near-mythic proportions."
Rick Springfield (Referenced by Veronica describing Keith's hair in his yearbook.)
Rick Springfield (born Richard Lewis Springthorpe on August 23,1949 in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia), began his career as a singer in the band Rock House. This band was followed by Zoot. Zoot became one of the most popular Australian groups of the late sixties He went solo in 1971 and decided to add acting to his list of credentials.
Springfield starred in the cartoon series Mission: Magic, produced by Filmation in 1973, where he appears in the animated format, along with the teacher Miss Tickle and her teenaged students. He had a successful acting career, beginning with a brief role as Zac in the 1978 movie Battlestar Galactica. He then became a soap opera star on General Hospital.
Though he never left music behind, these acting jaunts re-launched his music career as he had developed a very enthusiastic teenage fanbase. Springfield returned to music with the album Working Class Dog. Most notably on this album were the smash hit singles, "Jessie's Girl" and "I've Done Everything for You." (Admit it ... who doesn't have some kind of adolescent or childhood memory of "Jessie's Girl?" I thought so. Do you smell the Aquanet and see the bang-hair wave? Or still having nightmares of the perfect feather hair cut? Oh, and don't forget the neon ... Ahhhh, the 80's.)
Springfield won a Grammy in 1981 for Best Male Rock Vocal Performance for "Jessie's Girl." Springfield was also nominated for two Grammys in 1982 and one in 1983. He was already in his 30s at this time and had become uncomfortable with the teen idol image he portrayed. He tried, somewhat unsuccessfully, to do songs with more serious subject manner and a harder rock sound. A couple of top 40 hits with his more adult material was the result, but Springfield never quite gained the acceptance of the critical mass. He does, however, have an ardent and devoted fan population that still follow his career fervently.
In 2005 Springfield returned as Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital. His run was subsequently extended, although he remains a guest star and not a full cast member. In Springfield's current run on GH, his character is now a recovering alcoholic and widower who is trying to patch things up with estranged son while also dealing with a diagnosis of cirrhosis of the liver. (Talk about kicking a man when he's down ... he's like GH's version of Logan!)
The Wheel of Fortune / Vanna (White) and Pat (Sajak) ... (Referenced by Liam's grandmother to Veronica.)
The Wheel of Fortune was created by Merv Griffin and made it's network debut in 1975. Pat Sajak hosts this game show, a variation of hangman, where contestants guess letters in mystery words and phrases. They win prizes based on results of spinning a wheel and guessing correctly to solve the mystery. Vanna White stars as the 'letter-turner.' Contestants are always in danger of losing what they have accumulated in that round by landing on a "bankrupt space" or guessing an incorrect letter and another player then solving the puzzle. Originally, contestants used their winnings to shop for prizes contained on stage (cars, trips, furniture, furs, etc.). Later in the show's run, winning contestants won cash.
Maybelline (Referenced by Veronica as she compliments Weevil's gorgeous eyelashes.)
The Maybelline Company was founded in 1915 by T.L. Williams and named in honor of his sister, Mabel. The company remained with the Williams family until 1967. Since then, the company has been owned by Plough, Inc. (1967-1990), Wasserstein Perella Co. (1990-1996) and now is currently operating as a division within L'Oreal USA, Inc. In 2004, the company officially became Maybelline New York.
In 1917, Williams introduced the first eye cosmetic made for everyday use, Maybelline Cake Mascara. The product was originally only advertised and sold by mail, but in 1932 a special ten cent package was designed for sale in drug stores across the county. Other successful mascara products followed, including Ultra Lash Mascara (1960's), the first mass market automatic mascara and Great Lash (1971), still the number one best-selling mascara. The company expanded its product lines in the 1970's to include face, lip and nail cosmetics.
In 1991, their most recognizable advertising campaign was created that continues to this day with the slogan, "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." A recent list of celebrity Maybelline spokesmodels includes actresses Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kristen Davis, Salma Hayek and Sarah Jessica Parker.
According to their corporate website, Maybelline New York is available in more than ninety countries and is the number one cosmetic brand in the world.
Sorbonne ... (Referenced by Jackie to Wallace as to the college she was accepted at.)
A college founded by Robert de Sorbon in 1257 for theology students without any money. The Collge de Sorbonne stood as the celebrated theological college of the French capital until it closed in 1882 and became a part of the University of Paris. It is the most famous of colleges that currently constitute the University of Paris, and its name is often still used to refer to the entire university system in the city. The Sorbonne University today houses the Arts and Human Sciences faculties of the University of Paris. The Sorbonne's international reputation has always placed it among Europe's most important universities.
Paris (Referenced by Jackie as she breaks the news to Wallace that she's going to the Sorbonne.)
The capital and largest city of France, Paris is also the capital of the le-de-France rgion, as well as having the distinction of being the largest city in the world with an estimated population of 11.5 million. A leading global cultural, business and political center, the city is well known for its defining neo-classical architecture as well as its unparalleled influence in fashion and the arts. Paris has a reputation for being a "romantic" city and has held the nickname "The City of Light" (la Ville Lumire) since the 19th century.
Located on the river Seine in north central France, Paris is home to many museums, galleries, churches, and nightlife helping to make it the most visited city in the world with more than thirty million visitors a year. Paris' most recognizable symbol is the 1,063 foot Eiffel Tower on the banks of the river Seine.
The original Latin name of the city was Lutetia or Lutetia Parisiorum, which was later dropped in favor of simply Paris. The origins of the name are uncertain. It may be derived from the Gallic Parisii tribe, whose name might be from the Celtic Gallic word parios, meaning "cauldron." Paris might also be derived from Celtic language parisio meaning "the working people" or "the craftsmen."
Speed (Referenced by Weevil as he tells Liam he has his list of clients.)
"Speed" is a slang term used to describe stimulant drugs, such as caffeine, ephedrine, or most commonly methamphetamine. Methamphetamine is a stimulant drug that produces an intense sensation of euphoria when swallowed or snorted. Users become addicted to meth quickly and tend to use more of it with increasing frequency. The negative side effects to the central nervous system are depression, aggressiveness, insomnia and paranoia. Meth use increases heart rate and blood pressure and can result in stroke, cardiovascular collapse, organ damage and death.
In the United States, the illegal manufacturing of methamphetamine is punishable from ten years to life in prison. The sale of ingredients used in meth production is also heavily monitored. In March of 2006, President Bush signed the Combat Meth Act, which limited the sale of ephedrine, the base ingredient of meth, to 3.6 grams per day, and customers must provide identification and sign a sales log. The manufacturing of meth in labs is highly dangerous, and there have been many cases of lab explosions to prove it. Meth labs have been found in garages, barns, apartments, etc.
Coke (Cocaine) (Referenced by Weevil as he tells Liam he has his list of clients.)
Cocaine is the second most popular recreational drug in the United States. It is extracted from the leaves of coca plants, which grow in the Andes of South America. Cocaine is a powerfully addictive stimulant to the nervous system and is an appetite suppressant. Whether snorted, smoked or injected, it produces a euphoria that may last for hours. The adverse health effects to cocaine usage are respiratory failure, cerebral hemorrhaging, higher risk of heart attack and sudden death. Cocaine is a Schedule II drug in the United States, meaning that it is available by prescription due to its medicinal uses, but the illegal possession or sale of cocaine can result in a heavy prison sentence.
E(cstasy) (Referenced by Weevil as he tells Liam he has his list of clients.)
MDMA (3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine), most commonly known today by the street name ecstasy, is a synthetic entactogen of the phenethylamine family whose primary effect is to stimulate the secretion of large amounts of serotonin as well as dopamine and noradrenaline in the brain, causing a general sense of openness, empathy, energy, euphoria, and well-being. Tactile sensations are enhanced for some users, making general physical contact with others more pleasurable, but contrary to popular mythology, it generally does not have aphrodisiac effects. Its ability to facilitate self-examination with reduced fear has proven useful in some therapeutic settings, leading to its 2001 approval by the United States FDA for testing in patients with post-traumatic stress disorder. (Credit: Wikipedia)
Heidi Fleiss ... (Referenced by Weevil to Liam during their confrontation regarding the paddle information.)
Heidi Fleiss, known as the "Hollywood Madam," was born December 30, 1965. She was both the head pimp and an actual prostitute in her organization (clients she has "handled" personally include Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando). Convicted in connection with her prostitution ring, she was charged with pandering and tax evasion among other charges. Her ring had numerous famous and wealthy clients, including the infamous Charlie Sheen. She was sentenced to three years for her crimes.
It is thought that the reason Heidi's organization was targeted for intensive investigation is the pressure put on the police in the area by her competition. Some of her enemies, including pimps and madams of competitive prostitution services, and even some of the women who worked for her, wanted to put Heidi permanently out of business. They figured the best way to do it was to inform the police of her illegal activities, which they did.
In April of that year, the Los Angeles County Sheriff Department coordinated an elaborate plot, along with the FBI and other law enforcement agencies, to catch Heidi in the act of pandering. The plan involved an undercover Beverly Hills police officer who posed as a wealthy Japanese client looking to procure services. The agent contacted Heidi and arranged for four prostitutes to meet him and several "colleagues" at a room in the Beverly Hills Hilton. He offered to pay $6,000 for the girls' services. Heidi agreed to the arrangement and on June 8 she sent four of her finest girls, as well as 13 grams of cocaine, which was requested by the undercover agent. (There were undercover agents, cameras and bugs, Oh my!) The agents obtained verbal agreements of sex for money and the room was raided by 20 federal agents.
Heidi's arrest shook the very foundations of Hollywood. Around the time she was taken into custody, some of Tinseltown's biggest names feared that she would publicly expose that they procured services from her. It was a scandal of epic proportions that threatened many high-profile marriages and the jobs of some of Hollywood's movers and shakers.
Margaritas (Referenced by Veronica as she suggests that Kendall could have triggered the crash while lounging by the pool.)
The margarita is the most common of the tequila-based cocktails, and is made with Triple Sec and lime juice. The Margarita is typically served with salt on the rim of the glass, though bartenders who specialize in tequila may claim that the salt will hide the flavor of the tequila. There are four main contenders for the title of the inventor of the Margarita Cocktail. Danny Negrete is said to have created the drink in 1936; Francisco Morales is said to have invented it on July 4, 1942; Carlos Herrera is said to have invented it in 1947-48; and Margaret Sames claimed the drink was her own creation in 1948. All four claimed inventors mixed the drink at different ratios of tequila, Triple Sec, and lime juice.
Oscar (Referenced by Keith as he informs Veronica that Aaron's Oscar was found buried in the Kanes' back yard.)
The Oscar is the common nick-name for the statuette given by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences at their annual ceremony (also commonly known as "The Oscars") for artists granted an Academy Award. The official name of the Oscar statuette is the Academy Award of Merit. Made of gold-plated britannium on a black marble base, it is 13.5 inches (34 cm) tall, weighs 8.5 lb (3.85 kg) and depicts a knight holding a crusader's sword standing on a reel of film with five spokes, signifying the original branches of the Academy: Actors, Writers, Directors, Producers and Technicians. Its heft and easy to grasp design make it the perfect faux murder weapon for an aging Hollywood icon trying to beat a murder rap.
The origin of the nick-name "Oscar" is contested, but there are two popular theories. One story claims that Bette Davis named the Oscar after her first husband, bandleader Harmon Oscar Nelson. The other claims that the nick-name originated with the Academy's Executive Secretary, Margaret Herrick, who first saw the award in 1931 and made reference of the statuette reminding her of her Uncle Oscar. Columnist Sidney Skolsky was present during Herrick's naming and seized the name in his byline, "Employees have affectionately dubbed their famous statuette 'Oscar'." However it came to be, the Oscar represents the pinnacle of achievement in motion pictures. Or, if you live in Rob Thomas' world, the pinnacle of sloppy and crappy (if not convenient) red-herring plot devices.
- Weevil sacrificing the rat to the snake. Not unlike him sacrificing Thumper to Liam.
- Episode 19 of both season one and two involved missing/dead dogs as Veronica's mystery of the week (Mandy and her missing dog in Hot Dogs and Harry's dead dog in Nevermind the Buttocks). They also both deal somewhat with Veronica's suspicions of Weevil's role in the main season mystery (Lilly's murder/the bus crash).
- Weevil continues to call Keith "Sheriff" and he calls him Eli.
- Veronica seems to have eyes in the back of her head. Harry approaches her from behind, when he wants to ask her for help. She can't see him, doesn't turn around, and yet knows it's the person who's been following her around campus.
- Veronica listens to her audio surveillance device on the LeBaron's radio, tuned to FM 87.9. If you watch closely, though, the station is already tuned to 87.9, then she turns the dial until the signal comes in, landing right back on 87.9.
- In a callback to the series premiere, Veronica escapes getting caught with anything during a random locker search, but why the omission of her second voiceover line? It was in the casting sides, the closed captioning and if you listen it even sounds like her sentence was cut off.
- "Random locker searches. A bummer for the unknowing students caught with loot--
--And a bummer for those forced to lug their contraband around with them all day."
- Was the South Beach joke written and filmed before or after UPN pulled the show off the air?
- According to a sign in the journalism room, the Movie Club at Neptune High will be holding an Aaron Echolls Marathon. Considering the subject of said marathon has been charged with bludgeoning to death a former Neptune student, who used to date his son, a current student, I think this event may be in poor taste.
- Apparently someone at Mars Investigations has some artistic talent that they seem to be wasting on the "At a Glance," desk calendar.
- Before Kendall transformed gold digging and seducing under-aged men into an art form, the former Priscilla Banks had a more modest start, during which she belonged to her high school's Marketing Club. Doesn't marketing fall under the category of business skills? Poor Beaver, he might have gotten a lot more than he bargained for with the wily Ms. C.
- Keith's pleasure in his PI skills.
- With just one scene, it seemed a bit much to write Jason Dohring up for Drama Club, but his one scene was just too deliciously wonderful to not get some notice at least here. He was absolutely hilarious, a pure joy to watch. (For the acting! The acting! Okay, and the hotness factor too. Fine.)
- Logan touching his hair as he told Veronica that he wasn't blonde as if definitively making his case that "See?" his hair is not blonde.
- Logan's "hmm" after Veronica
- Seeing as how Veronica not being an 09er falls into the category of a 'townie' and seeing as how she was dating Logan last summer, it's not that big a leap to figure out that the townie whom Logan made moan without using his hands last summer was Veronica. Hmm, if you're not in the gutter right now, you're at the wrong board.
- Really, Francis Capra does indeed have Maybelline lashes. Nice to see the call-out to the man's gorgeous eyelashes.
- Kendall's decidedly unsexy look when with Liam. Quite the far cry from the 'I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way' wardrobe we've only seen her sporting until now.
- Weevil's implication that a specific part of his anatomy is not lacking in size in regards to the confusion about the tail between his legs.
- Logan's reference to post-coital excretions with his line to Veronica about his departure from the Casablancas home. ("She kicked me out before the sheets were dry.")
- Why would Aaron, in his attempt to frame Duncan, use one of his own personal possessions instead of something belonging to Duncan? How's he going to explain Duncan having it? Is he trying to make it look like a pre-meditated murder, with Duncan planning in advance to frame Aaron? But then how would Aaron explain the Oscar being buried and not left at the scene of the crime?
- Does Weevil know Thumper was killed in the stadium or was it just coincidental that he chose the word "crushed" to describe him? Weevil very likely knows the Fitzpatricks killed Thumper, but how would he know the details? It's not like he could or would ask them about it.
- Is there something more than business going on between Kendall and Liam?
- Didn't the Sheriff's department and the prosecutors watch the Lilly/Aaron tapes? Can't the authorities provide a better description of their contents since Veronica never actually watched the entire video?
- Lilly's blood and Duncan's hair was discovered on Aaron Echolls' Oscar. We know that Kendall extracted Duncan's hair from his shower drain, but where and how did she obtain Lilly's blood?
- Was the Oscar or the ashtray the actual weapon?
- If it was the Oscar -- was Kendall behind the robbery of Cliff's briefcase? The Echolls mansion was burnt down, so the only way the Oscar (if not the actual weapon) could have been gotten was if it was one of the items in the Echolls storage facility that Cliff had a key to ... in his briefcase.
- A news report stated that the murder weapon used to kill Lilly was discovered with traces of Duncan's hair on it, did doubt about Duncan's true nature finally start to seep into Veronica's brain?
- Given her association to the Fitzpatrick family, did Kendall know they were responsible for Felix's murder, of which Logan was falsely accused? And if she did, did she even care?
- Like Ethan Lavoie, Aaron Echolls' defense attorney asked, has Veronica heard from Duncan?
- How in the heck did Aaron Echolls win an Oscar? Is this some sort of alternative universe where Gigli also won best picture?
- Did "Priscilla Banks" purposely cause the car crash that resulted in the real Kendall Shiflett's death?
- Was Kendall's marriage to Big Dick another one of her scams?
- When did Kendall purchase her second, secret home and where did she get the money to buy it? Is there a reason she needs another residence?
- What nefarious schemes is Kendall involved with that she doesn't want Keith Mars to discover?
- Why did Weevil have the Anarchist's Cookbook?
- Does Jackie have a college fund that wasn't frozen with Terrence's other assets? Or is her mother covering the Sorbonne tuition?
- Big Dick was using the 8-figure insurance policy he had taken out for Dick and Beaver as a tax shelter. If both of the Casablancas boys were to die simultaneously (say, in a bus crash), the beneficiary would be Kendall Casablancas.
- The bus crashed on September 13, 2005.
- A green Plymouth Barracuda, most recently used by Liam Fitzpatrick, passed the limousine right before the bus went over the cliff.
- Weevil was following the bus to protect Cervando who had recently been announcing to anyone within ear shot that he hustled Liam Fitzpatrick. Apparently word got around to Liam, who needless to say was not pleased, and was trying to track Cervando down.
- Gia was talking on her cell phone to her father, Woody to inform him of her location, seconds before the bus crashed.
- Logan left Kendall hours before the bus crashed.
holly96 (Holly): Literature
JenniferH: Report Card; Chemistry; Band Class (Scene Descriptor); Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
katrina: Yearbook; Social Science
krissy215 (Krissy): Band Class (Song Identifier)
Iluvyoubearymuch (Kathryn): Literature; Homeroom; Philosophy; Principles of Democracy
Pixigal (Gerrie): Drama Club; Social Science
PolarTruckin (Belinda): Literature
SeluciaV (Alli): Journalism; Extra Credit; Literature; Social Science
Tar Frimmer (Joanne): Yearbook; Study Hall; Literature; Social Science; Homeroom; Philosophy
I think I succeeded. Hehe. 
