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Title: Cock It & Pull It
Author: Blondie
Disclaimer: First and foremost, the characters of Veronica Mars and the setting of Neptune, California are not mine and do not belong to me. No infringement is intended, as this is done purely for entertainment. Second, to give credit where credit is due (haha) I need to acknowledge JenniferH for giving me the idea via a challenge and Fallout Boy for inspiring me and writing some of the lyrics that I've taken the liberty to play with and incorporate into this story.
Summary: The kiss was like a bullet that sliced through her life and the lives of anyone she'd ever cared about.
Rating: PG13
Author's Notes/Warnings: This rewrites the flashbacks in Lord of the Bling and the happenings in a few episodes after, a few relationships, and spoils basically all of season one. This is also totally a one shot.






"I've got a good eye." Veronica said as she leaned into Duncan and they made their way down the stairs. Yolanda was cool and everyone liked her and it had been Veronica who had picked her out. Singled her out to join their group and it had worked. Taking someone under her wing the way that she'd been taken under Lilly's had felt good.

She smiled lazily at the thought of being like Lilly, the buzz from the alcohol beginning to take effect. "Oh shoot," she stopped abruptly on the stairs, suddenly remembering something. "I forgot my purse. I'll be right back."

He nodded as she leaned over and kissed him before he made his way down the rest of the stairs. She smiled after him for a few dreamy moments before turning abruptly on her heel and bounding back up the stairs.

She rounded the corner and half expected to catch Logan making out with Yolanda. They'd been getting quite friendly with each other throughout the night and Logan had made more than one comment that had caused Veronica to caution him about the line he was dangerously close to crossing.

Instead, she saw him slumped in an oversized chair looking miserable as he sipped from his flask. Her shoulders relaxed slightly as she made her way toward him. "Logan, have you seen my purse?"

He made a clicking noise with his tongue and Veronica glanced at him over her shoulder, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He was shaking his head at her. "You haven't?" She asked.

"Veronica Mars." His tone of voice had her off kilter. It was heavy on the sarcasm, which Veronica was used to, but there was an edge to it that suggested he was only half kidding. "You're just everybody's friend aren't you?"

"I'd like to think so." She moved a little slower as she turned her head away from him and went back to searching between the cushions of the couch for her purse.

"I mean. Youre my friend. Right? You're Lilly's friend. You're definitely DK's special friend. Youre Yolanda's friend." The facetiousness in his voice was clearly evident and Veronica wasn't quite sure how to take it. Hed always had a loaded god complex and for a moment, she was twelve years old again and meeting him for the first time; unsure of how to handle his sharp tongue and his quick wit.

She wished that Lilly was there to cut the tension that was building between them. She would undoubtedly say something sarcastic and cutting to Logan and they would both laugh about it while Logan slinked off to lick his wounds. But Lilly wasn't there. She was probably at home watching MTV, because Lilly was being weird lately and Veronica couldn't put her finger on how or why. She didn't think that Logan could either.

Under his intense scrutiny, her cheeks began to grown warm and pink. "What are you talking about?" She asked finally.

"Don't play coy with me, Veronica." He slid his eyes down her body. "You're not as innocent as you look."

Was he coming onto her? She blinked. It was just about the only response that she could manage.

"She's cheating on me!" He shouted, drawing the attention of a few people standing near them. "And you know about it, you bitch!"

If they hadn't before, her cheeks definitely changed color with that statement. She closed the distance between them and slapped his face. "Fuck you, Logan!"

He laughed as he held his stinging cheek and Veronica wasn't sure if it was a surprised, nervous laughter or if he really thought it was funny.

"I thought you were my friend." He said finally, his breathing ragged and his eyes hard. "I thought you and I were friends too."

"We are." Some of the anger that had built up inside of her relented and she found herself falling back onto the couch. "We are, Logan and I would tell you. I would tell you just like I would tell her."

"You really don't know?" He asked, his eyes trained on the floor between his feet.

She shook her head and then realized that he couldn't see her do it. "No. I honestly don't."

"But you would tell me?" He asked, his voice small.

She softened considerably at the tone in his voice, "Of course I would."

A few awkward moments passed between them before she stood from the couch. "Come on, Logan." She held her hand out and expected him to refuse it. Her cheeks grew pink again as he slid his large hand into her small one. "I think the party is over for you."

She pulled him to his feet, expecting resistance and finding none. On his feet, he teetered for a bit and she placed her hand on his chest to try and steady him. He faltered in his step and Veronica buckled under his weight, falling backward on the couch behind her, with Logan tumbling on top of her. She was crushed between the front of his body and the overstuffed couch. His breathe caressed her face and Veronica thought it was weird that she thought about it that way. As a gentle caress, instead of hot air that smelled of rum hitting her in the face and assaulting her nose.

His eyes drifted from her lips and up toward her eyes and her breathing was growing a little more ragged, though she tried to ignore it.

She licked her lips and had meant to say his name, had meant to question him. Instead, she gasped as his lips brushed hers lightly.

Her first thought was not of how wrong it was. Or how Duncan could come walking up the stairs, round the corner, and find them awkwardly kissing each other. And they were kissing. Veronica was sure of it. Her first thought wasn't even of the party of witnesses that mingled around them. Instead, her first thought was of his soft, supple lips.

Her second thought was the question of her response. Why exactly was she kissing him back? Why was he kissing her in the first place? She suspected it was the alcohol, on both counts. Because kissing her boyfriend's best friend, her best friend's boyfriend; it was unlike her in about ten million different ways. And Logan, he loved Lilly. Lilly was a Goddess made of porcelain skin and a light and force and sexual energy and appetite that Veronica was sure she could never match.

"Logan," The soft, whispered question hung in the inches between their lips and she wondered what had possessed him to kiss her.

He was obviously drunk and hurt. She knew that. He was drunk and she was tipsy, but he was staring into her blue eyes as though he were sober and seeing straight into her soul and not thinking of Lilly or Duncan at all.

Her eyes fluttered closed as he closed the distance between their lips again, covering hers with his. This time, she tasted him. She tasted his tongue in her mouth and the rum he'd been drinking and she felt as though she were just a little bit more intoxicated because of it.

When his lips began to move across her jaw bone and down the column of her throat, Veronica's world began to spin. She gripped his shoulders to anchor herself and even as she bent her neck to allow him more skin, she breathed, "This is wrong."

She wondered briefly why it felt so good, if it was so wrong. Then she remembered Duncan waiting for her in the car and Lilly who was home watching TV and being weird lately and all of the people who milled around them and how even though they were seemingly oblivious to what was happening on the couch what was changing and shifting in the relationship between herself and Logan it would only take one glance in their direction to end their respective relationships and possibly their friendships.

She remembered all of that and slid her tongue into Logan's mouth, sucking in a surprised breath as Logan's hand found its way up her shirt.

"Oh my god!" A voice across the room had them scrambling to separate themselves. Veronica glanced quickly in the direction the voice had come from and released a shaky breath when she realized they hadn't been caught.

"Sorry Veronica." Logan scratched his head, his face flushed as he looked at the ground. "I didn't see your purse."

"Right." Veronica nervously flipped her long, blonde hair over her shoulder, unsure of what had happened and what they were going to do about it now. "Well, um, thanks for looking for it."

She turned on her heel and briskly walked toward the stairs. There were a million questions and feelings and emotions swirling around inside her. Every beat of her heart held an internal mantra that screamed out to her Lilly'sLilly'sLilly'sLilly'sLilly'sLilly's.

She slid into Duncan's SUV and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling his torso across the center counsel between them and crushing her lips to his.

He resisted for a moment, unsure of what was happening before he slid his hands in her long hair and deepened the kiss, his eyes drifting closed. God help you, Veronica. She thought as she caressed his tongue with hers, hoping that he wouldn't be able to taste the rum that Logan had left in her mouth.

"Well, to what do I owe that pleasure?" Duncan asked when they finally broke apart, their breathing labored and heavy.

I needed to prove something to myself. She forced the maelstrom of confusion and feelings rolling around inside of her to the side and smiled at him as she said, "I missed you."

"Aw, baby." He smiled and gingerly placed a kiss on her hand. Veronica felt like the worst girlfriend in the world as he smiled at her in that lovesick way she'd smiled at him only fifteen minutes before. "I missed you too."

As he put the car in reverse, he glanced at her. "Hey, where's your purse?"

At least she wouldn't have to lie to him. Completely, anyway. "Couldn't find it."

Monday morning, Veronica had contemplated faking sick. She had avoided Lilly and Duncan both all weekend and had definitely avoided Logan. When she saw him waiting casually somewhere near her locker, she turned sharply and walked into the first bathroom she came across.

She managed to avoid all three of them until lunch and by then, shed begun to feel more confident that Lilly and Duncan hadnt found out. They didnt know, because if they did, it would be whispered across the gossip lines all over the school. Shed been keeping one ear opened all day, waiting to catch her name and Logans. Shed walked a little slower every time she heard his name escape the glossed lips of a random girl behind her or infront of her. Though, it had always turned out to be talk of how hot he was. How Lilly was totally cheating on him. How theyd seen her with that biker guy. Though, which one Veronica couldnt be sure.

By lunch, Veronica felt secure enough to approach their usual lunch table. Where Lilly and Yolanda sat, their heads bent together as they had a whispered conversation.

Shed been half way to their table when Logan appeared at Lillys side suddenly and the practiced smile on Veronicas face began to fade. She'd only just noticed the tension in Lilly's shoulders and the experssion on her face as Yolanda whispered. The atmosphere at the lunch table had suddenly grown dark and Lilly was pushing Logan, her face twisted in anger.

...with my best friend! She heard Lilly scream, drawing the attention of several tables around them. Fuck you, Logan! She shouted, standing up from the table. Its over!

Years later, Veronica would attribute a lot of things that went south to that kiss. That stolen moment between two people had turned lives upside down and inside out. It had even ended some.

Later, when Lilly's lifeless body was found in her backyard, Logan had turned cold and Veronica had felt an intense and crippling guilt that she was sure she'd never be able to ease. After all, if she'd been a better friend, then Lilly wouldn't have been alone that day. Maybe Veronica would have been with her? Or Logan?

Duncan might not have had to deal with the unimaginable horror of finding his sister dead by the pool. He might not have had to be put on antidepressants.

Her father might not have lost his job and her mother might have stayed.

She might remember losing her virginity and who she lost it to.

If she'd stopped things sooner, if she'd been more aware of who was looking, if she hadn't brought Yolanda into the group and to that party. If Lilly hadn't been so damn vengeful and intent to pay both Logan and Veronica back for their betrayal. Veronica was sure that Lilly wouldn't have climbed into bed with Logan's father. Then again, she was beginning to feel as though she'd never really known Lilly at all. If she just hadn't kissed Logan back, maybe it all would have been different.

But she hadn't and the kiss had been like a bullet that had sliced through her life and the lives of everyone shed ever cared about and created a weird chain reaction. Logan had been the gun and Veronica had cocked the trigger and pulled it and theyd all went down swinging.





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