Title: My Oranges Pawn Your Apples (or how Veronica Mars became a normal human being)
Author: Rachel.
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,606
Warning/Spoilers: If you want to take anything into consideration it is the names of the characters, because this series is so way bent out that i dont even think Rob Thomas himself could find anything in them that still reminds him of his own characters. This may be a LoVe fic, but i highly doubt that it will stay that way forever. There are a lot of changes in this series so you better keep your eyes open in this chapter to spot out things that WOAH werent there before. If this scares you then you have been warned because this is a warning. If you havent gotten it by now this is 100 straight as a 30 centimeter Derwent ruler AU. THERE IS SOME CRUDENESS IN THIS SO IF YOU DO NOT LIKE PLEASE TURN AWAY NOW YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Note: There are thousands of reasons to why i am a sucky author, one of them is that i can never hold up on a fan fiction the only one i really have is Close To Insanity and that in itself just feels like its dragging on into NOWHERE and Lovers Thorn i just cant get anything out onto paper. So here i am with a possible three-shot or maybe more, because i needed to vent out something on Veronica Mars.
Summary: Veronica Ann Mars, quiet little 25 year old, lives in the middle of no-where, her next door neighbor an old nosey woman who thinks she is a witch, oh and did I mention she can kick ass? Veronica Mars separated from the mean streets in Society by her father before she had the mental capacity to say no, walked passed a sign practically begging for an officer she took the plunge is now roaming the streets fighting off kids who are writing their names on the wall of their only Wal-Mart. Things cant get any more interesting, or can they? ( the hilarious thing is I thought of this in the shower coughs when I was so sick I could barely walk God damn flu and my brain wont stop annoying me until if write the first and hopefully more than one one-shot in this series, which has to be named Ill think of it)
My Oranges Pawn Your Apples (or how Veronica Mars became a normal human being)
Veronica Mars you are something great she reminded herself for the tenth (or maybe one hundredth) time that day, she mechanically rolled her eyes at her own stupidity and continued to stroll down the small shopping centre the town called large. Now she wasnt a hypocrite it probably was the largest building for the next 100 miles or so but she knew from photos of her dad and moms second (or was it third?) honeymoon that they were bigger and better things out there. You may be wondering like she does every minute of her life why she was still stuck in this small rickety old town that are only cool in John Wayne movies, which inevitably came out only weeks ago at blockbusters with its 1950s logo on the back. She wonders which big city they were shipped from, because her town still didnt allow mail to come from planes. It would be a hell of a lot easier.
She ignored Mrs. Lynch her next door neighbor, who hadnt died in the past 9 months as promised by the one real-estate agent of this town, the woman was possibly as crazy as she was going to become if she stayed her any longer. Mrs. Lynch was as scary as the woman in the stories her father told her on Halloween when she was nine, and had to sleep in her mom and dads rooms for weeks after scared that the lady would come after her. Mrs. Lynch would cackle on whenever she got off of work about how her ancestors were burned for being witches and that one day this town would burn her too and she wonders why none of her relatives would visit her. Veronica was secretly waiting for Mrs. Lynch to turn an ugly shade of vomit green with warts springing out of her nose, with thick unruly hair, but that only happened in fairy tales right.
Throwing the last salt and vinegar chips that were on sale for 50c she made her way to the only check out and deposited all the objects she had decided to buy with this weeks pay. Molly the 16-year-old girl behind the counter blew a large bubble of bubble gum before popping it and smiling sadistically at Veronica, she was the only daughter of Mr. Brock who lived down the street on the farm, Veronica too would be a tomboy if she was the only girl in a house full of 8 hormonal boys, but Veronica never had to feel that with only having a baby brother who could barely say her name properly yet (dont ask, it happened on their third? Honeymoon.) Last time she check Ver-hon-e-charrrr wasnt her name.
Veronica, nice to see you today Molly said, Veronica nodded her head and watched whatever Molly was scribbling down on her notepad about prices, because electronic check outs werent here yet, and where awfully expensive, Mayor Crockebery would say,
Yes, well I had a day off and I needed some shopping to do, the cupboards are getting empty, and well there was nothing really to do at home if you can call a house with only two rooms a home then yes, she lived in a home. Molly nodded her head and continued to chew nosily, Veronica cringed,
Whats this I hear about you going on a hot date with Michael last week? If this place hasnt turned you off yet, the gossip reels will. This town was like a walking talking magazine that never shut up. So she went on a date with the Mayors only son, and yes she was disgusted by him and couldnt wait to finish the meal so she could go home and snuggle up with old ancient old John Wayne movies. He ate like a pig, except pigs are cuter. Not bothering to answer her Veronica hands Molly the change and grabs the small amount of food that she can afford this week and walks out of the small shop, life here was like one of those movies people dont want to live in.
(A/N: is this AU enough for you yet? If not continue)
Arriving home a few minutes later she disposes the bike onto the front lawn and makes a mental note to herself to remember to mow the little patch of lawn she could afford out front, luckily for her Mrs. Lynch hadnt come back yet from the shops. Entering the unlocked apartment/house (there was not enough people in this town to have criminals for her to keep under control) she drops the bags to the floor and groans, her father and mother grin up at her, and her little brother tries to do the same,
I should arrest you for breaking and entering then maybe I can file my first report that doesnt involve writing your name on the wall of Wal-Mart with your penis covering the babies ears her mother scolds at her and she shrugs her shoulders, and drops to her knees to come face to face with her little brother, the little bounce of brown on his head and he grinned at her toothless. The day they named him was the day that Veronica was sure she was going to have a mini-heart attack from the bubbles of laughter that came out of her.
(A/N: ooh something AU is coming up jumps up and down excited)
[i]Veronica hated Christmas times, well not really but she hated when the whole family came down to get together in her small apartment to celebrate the birth of Jesus the lord, no heck with it the only reason half of them turned up was for the liquor and presents. 23-years-old and she still couldnt escape the wrath of her favorite cousin, swinging her hips in his direction and bumping them together in a girly sort of band way she grins at him before walking away.
It was her apartment this year, because mother being 8 and a half months pregnant cant cook for a bunch of people, and well she couldnt fly out to Neptune for it to be at his place so it all ended up to being planned at her apartment without her permission or even knowledge until the knock that came on the door half an hour ago. She would have been pissed if it was not Christmas time and she needed the money to pay for this and next months rent. She really loved her family.
Lord, is that my niece I swear she gets beautiful every time I see her, Margery its not me eyes is it? her Uncle praises pulling at her cheeks, trying to smile happily her Aunty answers,
No that truly is my sisters daughter the Aunt pulled her close and Veronica gasped for breath, panting practically over her Aunties shoulder, when she was released she hoped that her face wasnt as red as she felt, with one more smile they let her be,
Ve Ron Ron you look like a tomato smirks her cousin and she turns around to glare at him, even though he is 3 years older than her and should probably thinking of settling down with his latest tryst, she loved to hate him,
How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Ve Ron Ron I could come up with perfectly good nicknames for you! she boasted and he rolled his eyes, following her into the only other room in the house the kitchen, opening the fridge rudely he takes the milk out and sculls it from the bottle,
Like what, Donald Duck, please I heard better when girls scream out in ecstasy about my virility he humped the air to show how virile he was and Veronica nearly spewed coke from her nose as she laughed a loud,
Oh you are the sex god Donnie, if you werent my blood cousin and the most disgusting perv on the planet Id take you hear on my kitchen floor she said sultry walking forward till she was chest to stomach with him and he looked down at her with a smirk,
Do you want to make that a challenge? she stepped away disgusted and wiped of invisible dust as if she was unclean, and he just smirked wider,
Oh your just jealous Ve Ron Ron, you are jealous he sing songed and Veronica flipped him off before exiting the room,
You are obnoxious she yelled behind her, and he laughed loudly, she really loved to hate him.
and I was shopping yesterday and there was a bargain
she had the nerve to slap me in public just because her boyfriends a slut
look you have to add the tomatoes 10 minutes after you start cooking
Veronica sighed frustrated Italians loved to talk, kicking Donald underneath the table she chewed un interested at her chicken and bit her tongue from screaming shut up, thats one thing you should never do when your with Italians, you dont want to get them worked up. Pulling the hair out of eyes she ties the blonde hair back and makes kissy faces at Don until his smirk disappears,
I thought you wanted me she pouted earnestly and Donald rolled his eyes, kicking her back underneath the table before returning to eating his dinner, her mother stood up from her chair and her hands immediately went to her stomach, she groaned out in pain as everyone looked at her wide-eyed,
I think my water just broke okay panic.
One thing that Donald Lamb wasnt good at was comforting someone who was stressed. His idea of calming down was sorting through his porn collection that was stashed at the back of his truck. When he brought them out he smirked at her and dropped them at her feet, she dropped uncomfortably to the ground to look at the piles of naked woman and cringed, really comforting, and he joined her on the ground.
I busted these of underage boys at Neptune High, theyre scared of me he said smugly, she nodded jealously, Donald Lamb was the king of Neptune as he liked to put it, a police officer as well, but she would like to know how, would always grin or smirk at her whenever he mentioned his job because his was more enticing especially after the serial murders that happened around it made him, what did Lamb call it, A Legend.
Wow you are a really good role model, you totally jerked off on these things right? he didnt answer as he flipped through probably the most recent one, Veronica rolled her eyes and leant back till she reached the cool chair,
I dont want to do this she said pouting, he didnt look up just continued to stare at one of the pages,
Then dont she stood up and sank down slowly on the uncomfortable hospital chairs (there was only three of them anyway), and blanched,
Donald if you get hard in the hospital Illl arrest you Donald drops the magazine so fast that she almost wants to laugh, cant taint his legend image could she.
Its a boy the doctor called, Veronica, Donald and the rest of her Italian family looked up and smiled at the thought of a cute little boy, Veronica stood up and walked over to the doctor and asked him if she could see her little brother he looked shocked but nodded his head, the age distance was vast. Veronica walked down the small hall to the only room occupied and knocked on the door before walking in, her whole family trailing behind her interested,
and what would you like to name this cute little thing the only nurse of the hospital asked the two new parents, Keith looked up and smiled,
Ronald Veronica nearly fell down with laughter Ronald Mars, Ron Mars, oh my god,
Ron she sputtered in between the giggles she leant for support on Donalds shoulder and realized how similar there names where, Donald, Ronald, VeRONica weird.
I think I am going to have a heart-attack[/i]
Ve-Ron-E-Charrrr he giggled and put his chubby hand on her face, Veronica patted him on the head before standing up and walking into the kitchen, grabbing the days mail she flipped through it and smiled when she saw that Donald had sent her a message, and walked back out of the kitchen to her family,
Donald mailed, and right why are you here? she asked, Keith tickled Ron and blew raspberries on his stomach before Leanne stole him away from his torturous father. Ron giggled with excitement and rested happily on his aging mothers shoulder,
We thought wed come and see our only daughter Keith mused, and Veronica stifled a sigh, they did this every fort-night especially when she had a few days off,
You want me to look after him dont you they smiled at her and she crossed her arms underneath her breasts and kinked her neck to the side, watching her parents hopeful face, she crumbled,
Fine but go now before I change my lethal mind she had never seen them leave the house so quick in her life. Her eyes left the banging closed door to her brother who was giggling up at her she lay down on the floor in front of him,
So what do we do first ickle Ron?
When Ron was sleeping happily on her bed and she had taken a long shower to get the smell of baby off her she settled down on the couch to read the message Donald sent her,
[i]Dear Ve Ron Ron,
So I took some time out of my very important time to write to you because I just banged the hottest chick ever. Ok that is not why I am messaging (seriously she had the biggest tits; they were the size of watermelons!!!) guess who is moving in with you!! Guess, Guess, Guess x 1000!! Me, okay not really I can see the petrified look on your face. Its time for you to have a holiday, bring some friends (not Mrs. Lynch she is scary) or whatever you can stay at my apartment unlike you I can afford 4 bedrooms (yes I can, my mum helped in no way). Plus Im bored, and you can do nothing there, theres some hot guys here too, and what will your town be missing, the worst thing that has ever happened in your town was that a guy stole some candy from a baby (am I right about that) Ill even give you a part time job. So youre coming cool.
Now onto the chick with the big tits. They were huge, I couldnt even fit them in my hand, and she had the curves of a tiger, it was like the apocalypse coming early, but that wouldnt faze you. Have you got laid anytime yet? You should, your young if I was as hot (I know stop laughing you are hot in a cousin sort of way) as you Id be fucking every guy to Sunday, live a little Ve Ron Ron, oopps Big tits is waking up, Im going to nail her, then nail her again and again and you get the picture, okay see you later dork face, and dont let little Chris from down the road write his name of Wal-Mart that is so my territory.
Love you sexy virile cousin who you want but you wont admit it, Don (not Donald) Lamb.[/i]
Laughing she puts down the letter and rubs her lips together, Neptune it could be promising.
Tbc.
[i]not the usual thing you'd expect but this is a series, so the POVS will change i hope you enjoy[/i]
p092.ezboard.com/flvvmfrm38.showMessage?topicID=572.topic
Author: Rachel.
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,606
Warning/Spoilers: If you want to take anything into consideration it is the names of the characters, because this series is so way bent out that i dont even think Rob Thomas himself could find anything in them that still reminds him of his own characters. This may be a LoVe fic, but i highly doubt that it will stay that way forever. There are a lot of changes in this series so you better keep your eyes open in this chapter to spot out things that WOAH werent there before. If this scares you then you have been warned because this is a warning. If you havent gotten it by now this is 100 straight as a 30 centimeter Derwent ruler AU. THERE IS SOME CRUDENESS IN THIS SO IF YOU DO NOT LIKE PLEASE TURN AWAY NOW YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Note: There are thousands of reasons to why i am a sucky author, one of them is that i can never hold up on a fan fiction the only one i really have is Close To Insanity and that in itself just feels like its dragging on into NOWHERE and Lovers Thorn i just cant get anything out onto paper. So here i am with a possible three-shot or maybe more, because i needed to vent out something on Veronica Mars.
Summary: Veronica Ann Mars, quiet little 25 year old, lives in the middle of no-where, her next door neighbor an old nosey woman who thinks she is a witch, oh and did I mention she can kick ass? Veronica Mars separated from the mean streets in Society by her father before she had the mental capacity to say no, walked passed a sign practically begging for an officer she took the plunge is now roaming the streets fighting off kids who are writing their names on the wall of their only Wal-Mart. Things cant get any more interesting, or can they? ( the hilarious thing is I thought of this in the shower coughs when I was so sick I could barely walk God damn flu and my brain wont stop annoying me until if write the first and hopefully more than one one-shot in this series, which has to be named Ill think of it)
My Oranges Pawn Your Apples (or how Veronica Mars became a normal human being)
Veronica Mars you are something great she reminded herself for the tenth (or maybe one hundredth) time that day, she mechanically rolled her eyes at her own stupidity and continued to stroll down the small shopping centre the town called large. Now she wasnt a hypocrite it probably was the largest building for the next 100 miles or so but she knew from photos of her dad and moms second (or was it third?) honeymoon that they were bigger and better things out there. You may be wondering like she does every minute of her life why she was still stuck in this small rickety old town that are only cool in John Wayne movies, which inevitably came out only weeks ago at blockbusters with its 1950s logo on the back. She wonders which big city they were shipped from, because her town still didnt allow mail to come from planes. It would be a hell of a lot easier.
She ignored Mrs. Lynch her next door neighbor, who hadnt died in the past 9 months as promised by the one real-estate agent of this town, the woman was possibly as crazy as she was going to become if she stayed her any longer. Mrs. Lynch was as scary as the woman in the stories her father told her on Halloween when she was nine, and had to sleep in her mom and dads rooms for weeks after scared that the lady would come after her. Mrs. Lynch would cackle on whenever she got off of work about how her ancestors were burned for being witches and that one day this town would burn her too and she wonders why none of her relatives would visit her. Veronica was secretly waiting for Mrs. Lynch to turn an ugly shade of vomit green with warts springing out of her nose, with thick unruly hair, but that only happened in fairy tales right.
Throwing the last salt and vinegar chips that were on sale for 50c she made her way to the only check out and deposited all the objects she had decided to buy with this weeks pay. Molly the 16-year-old girl behind the counter blew a large bubble of bubble gum before popping it and smiling sadistically at Veronica, she was the only daughter of Mr. Brock who lived down the street on the farm, Veronica too would be a tomboy if she was the only girl in a house full of 8 hormonal boys, but Veronica never had to feel that with only having a baby brother who could barely say her name properly yet (dont ask, it happened on their third? Honeymoon.) Last time she check Ver-hon-e-charrrr wasnt her name.
Veronica, nice to see you today Molly said, Veronica nodded her head and watched whatever Molly was scribbling down on her notepad about prices, because electronic check outs werent here yet, and where awfully expensive, Mayor Crockebery would say,
Yes, well I had a day off and I needed some shopping to do, the cupboards are getting empty, and well there was nothing really to do at home if you can call a house with only two rooms a home then yes, she lived in a home. Molly nodded her head and continued to chew nosily, Veronica cringed,
Whats this I hear about you going on a hot date with Michael last week? If this place hasnt turned you off yet, the gossip reels will. This town was like a walking talking magazine that never shut up. So she went on a date with the Mayors only son, and yes she was disgusted by him and couldnt wait to finish the meal so she could go home and snuggle up with old ancient old John Wayne movies. He ate like a pig, except pigs are cuter. Not bothering to answer her Veronica hands Molly the change and grabs the small amount of food that she can afford this week and walks out of the small shop, life here was like one of those movies people dont want to live in.
(A/N: is this AU enough for you yet? If not continue)
Arriving home a few minutes later she disposes the bike onto the front lawn and makes a mental note to herself to remember to mow the little patch of lawn she could afford out front, luckily for her Mrs. Lynch hadnt come back yet from the shops. Entering the unlocked apartment/house (there was not enough people in this town to have criminals for her to keep under control) she drops the bags to the floor and groans, her father and mother grin up at her, and her little brother tries to do the same,
I should arrest you for breaking and entering then maybe I can file my first report that doesnt involve writing your name on the wall of Wal-Mart with your penis covering the babies ears her mother scolds at her and she shrugs her shoulders, and drops to her knees to come face to face with her little brother, the little bounce of brown on his head and he grinned at her toothless. The day they named him was the day that Veronica was sure she was going to have a mini-heart attack from the bubbles of laughter that came out of her.
(A/N: ooh something AU is coming up jumps up and down excited)
[i]Veronica hated Christmas times, well not really but she hated when the whole family came down to get together in her small apartment to celebrate the birth of Jesus the lord, no heck with it the only reason half of them turned up was for the liquor and presents. 23-years-old and she still couldnt escape the wrath of her favorite cousin, swinging her hips in his direction and bumping them together in a girly sort of band way she grins at him before walking away.
It was her apartment this year, because mother being 8 and a half months pregnant cant cook for a bunch of people, and well she couldnt fly out to Neptune for it to be at his place so it all ended up to being planned at her apartment without her permission or even knowledge until the knock that came on the door half an hour ago. She would have been pissed if it was not Christmas time and she needed the money to pay for this and next months rent. She really loved her family.
Lord, is that my niece I swear she gets beautiful every time I see her, Margery its not me eyes is it? her Uncle praises pulling at her cheeks, trying to smile happily her Aunty answers,
No that truly is my sisters daughter the Aunt pulled her close and Veronica gasped for breath, panting practically over her Aunties shoulder, when she was released she hoped that her face wasnt as red as she felt, with one more smile they let her be,
Ve Ron Ron you look like a tomato smirks her cousin and she turns around to glare at him, even though he is 3 years older than her and should probably thinking of settling down with his latest tryst, she loved to hate him,
How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Ve Ron Ron I could come up with perfectly good nicknames for you! she boasted and he rolled his eyes, following her into the only other room in the house the kitchen, opening the fridge rudely he takes the milk out and sculls it from the bottle,
Like what, Donald Duck, please I heard better when girls scream out in ecstasy about my virility he humped the air to show how virile he was and Veronica nearly spewed coke from her nose as she laughed a loud,
Oh you are the sex god Donnie, if you werent my blood cousin and the most disgusting perv on the planet Id take you hear on my kitchen floor she said sultry walking forward till she was chest to stomach with him and he looked down at her with a smirk,
Do you want to make that a challenge? she stepped away disgusted and wiped of invisible dust as if she was unclean, and he just smirked wider,
Oh your just jealous Ve Ron Ron, you are jealous he sing songed and Veronica flipped him off before exiting the room,
You are obnoxious she yelled behind her, and he laughed loudly, she really loved to hate him.
and I was shopping yesterday and there was a bargain
she had the nerve to slap me in public just because her boyfriends a slut
look you have to add the tomatoes 10 minutes after you start cooking
Veronica sighed frustrated Italians loved to talk, kicking Donald underneath the table she chewed un interested at her chicken and bit her tongue from screaming shut up, thats one thing you should never do when your with Italians, you dont want to get them worked up. Pulling the hair out of eyes she ties the blonde hair back and makes kissy faces at Don until his smirk disappears,
I thought you wanted me she pouted earnestly and Donald rolled his eyes, kicking her back underneath the table before returning to eating his dinner, her mother stood up from her chair and her hands immediately went to her stomach, she groaned out in pain as everyone looked at her wide-eyed,
I think my water just broke okay panic.
One thing that Donald Lamb wasnt good at was comforting someone who was stressed. His idea of calming down was sorting through his porn collection that was stashed at the back of his truck. When he brought them out he smirked at her and dropped them at her feet, she dropped uncomfortably to the ground to look at the piles of naked woman and cringed, really comforting, and he joined her on the ground.
I busted these of underage boys at Neptune High, theyre scared of me he said smugly, she nodded jealously, Donald Lamb was the king of Neptune as he liked to put it, a police officer as well, but she would like to know how, would always grin or smirk at her whenever he mentioned his job because his was more enticing especially after the serial murders that happened around it made him, what did Lamb call it, A Legend.
Wow you are a really good role model, you totally jerked off on these things right? he didnt answer as he flipped through probably the most recent one, Veronica rolled her eyes and leant back till she reached the cool chair,
I dont want to do this she said pouting, he didnt look up just continued to stare at one of the pages,
Then dont she stood up and sank down slowly on the uncomfortable hospital chairs (there was only three of them anyway), and blanched,
Donald if you get hard in the hospital Illl arrest you Donald drops the magazine so fast that she almost wants to laugh, cant taint his legend image could she.
Its a boy the doctor called, Veronica, Donald and the rest of her Italian family looked up and smiled at the thought of a cute little boy, Veronica stood up and walked over to the doctor and asked him if she could see her little brother he looked shocked but nodded his head, the age distance was vast. Veronica walked down the small hall to the only room occupied and knocked on the door before walking in, her whole family trailing behind her interested,
and what would you like to name this cute little thing the only nurse of the hospital asked the two new parents, Keith looked up and smiled,
Ronald Veronica nearly fell down with laughter Ronald Mars, Ron Mars, oh my god,
Ron she sputtered in between the giggles she leant for support on Donalds shoulder and realized how similar there names where, Donald, Ronald, VeRONica weird.
I think I am going to have a heart-attack[/i]
Ve-Ron-E-Charrrr he giggled and put his chubby hand on her face, Veronica patted him on the head before standing up and walking into the kitchen, grabbing the days mail she flipped through it and smiled when she saw that Donald had sent her a message, and walked back out of the kitchen to her family,
Donald mailed, and right why are you here? she asked, Keith tickled Ron and blew raspberries on his stomach before Leanne stole him away from his torturous father. Ron giggled with excitement and rested happily on his aging mothers shoulder,
We thought wed come and see our only daughter Keith mused, and Veronica stifled a sigh, they did this every fort-night especially when she had a few days off,
You want me to look after him dont you they smiled at her and she crossed her arms underneath her breasts and kinked her neck to the side, watching her parents hopeful face, she crumbled,
Fine but go now before I change my lethal mind she had never seen them leave the house so quick in her life. Her eyes left the banging closed door to her brother who was giggling up at her she lay down on the floor in front of him,
So what do we do first ickle Ron?
When Ron was sleeping happily on her bed and she had taken a long shower to get the smell of baby off her she settled down on the couch to read the message Donald sent her,
[i]Dear Ve Ron Ron,
So I took some time out of my very important time to write to you because I just banged the hottest chick ever. Ok that is not why I am messaging (seriously she had the biggest tits; they were the size of watermelons!!!) guess who is moving in with you!! Guess, Guess, Guess x 1000!! Me, okay not really I can see the petrified look on your face. Its time for you to have a holiday, bring some friends (not Mrs. Lynch she is scary) or whatever you can stay at my apartment unlike you I can afford 4 bedrooms (yes I can, my mum helped in no way). Plus Im bored, and you can do nothing there, theres some hot guys here too, and what will your town be missing, the worst thing that has ever happened in your town was that a guy stole some candy from a baby (am I right about that) Ill even give you a part time job. So youre coming cool.
Now onto the chick with the big tits. They were huge, I couldnt even fit them in my hand, and she had the curves of a tiger, it was like the apocalypse coming early, but that wouldnt faze you. Have you got laid anytime yet? You should, your young if I was as hot (I know stop laughing you are hot in a cousin sort of way) as you Id be fucking every guy to Sunday, live a little Ve Ron Ron, oopps Big tits is waking up, Im going to nail her, then nail her again and again and you get the picture, okay see you later dork face, and dont let little Chris from down the road write his name of Wal-Mart that is so my territory.
Love you sexy virile cousin who you want but you wont admit it, Don (not Donald) Lamb.[/i]
Laughing she puts down the letter and rubs her lips together, Neptune it could be promising.
Tbc.
[i]not the usual thing you'd expect but this is a series, so the POVS will change i hope you enjoy[/i]
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