Episode #03.11: Poughkeepsie, Tramps & Thieves
Original Air Date: January 30, 2007
Written by: Diane Ruggiero
Directed by: John Kretchmer
Report Card (Capsule Episode Review)
Yearbook (Recurring & Guest Stars/Character Statistics)
Drama Club (Performances: Highlights and Lowlights)
Chemistry (The Analysis of LoVe Scenes)
Journalism (The Mystery of the Week)
Study Hall (Miscellaneous Plot Details)
Extra Credit (Clues to the Season Mystery Arcs)
History (Flashbacks) (None)
Band Class (The Music of Veronica Mars)
Literature (LoVe Lines/In Memory/Quotable Quotes)
Social Science (In Reference To ... Pop Culture & The World)
Homeroom (On Second Viewing, Get a Clue)
Pep Squad Practice (Ambiguously (Or Not) Gay Logan Moments)
Detention (While the Censors Were Out to Lunch ...)
Philosophy (Unanswered Questions)
Principles of Democracy (Hindsight is 20/20)
Extra Curricular Activities (Beyond the Broadcast)
Role Call (Written/Compiled By ...)
Staff Grade: A
Membership Median Grade: A
The second arc is proceeding much better than did the first, because we have another winner! Like Wichita Linebacker, there are many parallels between the Mystery of the Week couple and our Logan and Veronica and it all plays out beautifully. Actually, the entire LoVe storyline is beautiful: We get sweetness and tenderness, some cute, couple-y moments, romance and a dash of passion, old-school-style banter and (of course) some heartbreak. The quips fly fast and free, mostly hitting bulls-eyes; there is heart a'plenty, not one weak supporting player, and while there may have been no Wallace or Mac, we did get Weevil (even if he was, oh, a tad underused) and best of all, no Piz! Unfortunately, the Keith/Veronica relationship is all but a tired, inappropriate joke now and Veronica does have a few startling moments of stupidity (blackmail? just popping into the limo?), but overall, this remains one of this season's strongest entries, fitting nicely in with the series' best.
Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Percy Daggs III - Wallace Fennel
Ryan Hansen - Dick Casablancas
Julie Gonzalo - Parker Lee
Chris Lowell - Stosh "Piz" Piznarski
Tina Majorino - Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Chastity Dotson - Nish
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
- Wichita Linebacker
- Charlie Don't Surf
- Hi, Infidelity
- Lord of the Pi's
- Spit & Eggs
Chery Ferreyra - Fern
- Welcome Wagon
- My Big Fat Greek Rush Week
- Wichita Linebacker
- Lord of the Pi's
- Spit & Eggs
Brandon Hillock - Deputy Sacks- Season One Appearances
- Season Two Appearances
- Welcome Wagon
- President Evil
- Lord of the Pi's
- Spit & Eggs
- Show Me the Monkey
Krista Kalmus - Claire- Wichita Linebacker
- Charlie Don't Surf
- President Evil
- Hi, Infidelity
- Lord of the Pi's
- Spit & Eggs
Amanda Noret - Madison Sinclair- Season One Appearances
- Season Two Appearances
Adam Rose - Max- President Evil
- Hi, Infidelity
Guest Stars
Christopher Carley - Phone Guy
Brianne Davis - Wendy
Jackie Debatin - Madame
Nathan Frizzell - Fred
Richard Keith - Brian
Who's Who in Neptune
Phone Guy - Hearst student who works in the cafeteria with Max's roommate, Brian, and whose phone the fake text message from "Chelsea" came from.
Wendy - Hooker who as "Chelsea" fell for Max.
Madame - Wendy's "agent."
Fred - Max's friend, conspired with Brian to hire him a hooker.
Brian - Max's roommate, works in the cafeteria with Phone Guy and conspired with Fred to hire Max a hooker.
Highlights
Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls) - Truth be told, there wasn't originally a highlight for Dohring planned, but as many of us rewatched the episode his acting popped out more and more. It wasn't as if any of us thought that he didn't do a good job prior to rewatch, no, it was rather that he just did his "usual great job." Thinking on this later reminded me of the skater Brian Boitano who would give flawless performance after flawless performance and receive less than perfect scores from the judges while other skaters on that occasion would rise above themselves and deliver nearly flawless performances ... and receive a ten. Despite the fact that Boitano actually performed a perfect routine, others were given a perfect score and not Boitano because he always gave a perfect performance and he was taken for granted. The same can often be said of Jason Dohring. He just about always gives such a magnificent performance that perhaps that talent and consistent excellence is just the tad taken for granted.
It definitely should not have been so this week, although most of us agreed originally so. Upon rewatch however, Dohring was so subtle and nuanced; his performance was layered and he was frankly, just so damn on in every single scene. He was adorable and funny, with some of that devilish snark on display and plenty of those little moments that just draw the viewer's eye. It was barely possible to take your eyes off of him in any scene he was in. In addition, he handled the heavier emotions just as flawlessly. There was subtext galore throughout the episode and a depth of emotion so beautifully on display in the pillow talk scene that it and he was breathtaking.
So for Jason Dohring another highlight. Just because he's so consistently great doesn't mean that he shouldn't be rewarded every time that he is. And this time ... he most certainly was.
Adam Rose (Max) - Adam Rose gives a charming, nuanced, layered performance in Poughkeepsie, Tramps & Thieves. Previously appearing on Veronica Mars as the go-to cheat sheets king, Rose's Max had much more story this time around. Playing a virgin who falls in love with a hooker is not an easy role to essay. In fact, it screams of cliche and plot contrivance. But Rose imbued the character of Max with a warmth and level of believability that immediately put the viewer on his side. We care about Max. We are hopeful when he is hopeful, crushed when he is crushed and in the end, deeply saddened by the end of his relationship. This was a perfect marriage of good writing and good acting. Hooker stories are pretty much a dime a dozen in the era of television crime procedurals but this hooker story, while no Pretty Woman, still sparkled and much of the credit goes to Rose's performance. Here's hoping we see more of Max.
Scene One: Taking the Fry
Although a seemingly innocuous scene, what we saw here was practically a metaphor for Logan and Veronica's relationship ... and not a very positive one. Veronica is in control; Veronica takes. Logan is perpetually the powerless one; Logan gives. And then accepts Veronica's acknowledgment of his sacrifice without batting an eyelash. Does this seem like a bit much to take from a forty-second scene of cutesy-cute couple-y stuff? Perhaps. The thing is that when I first began this write-up, I was quite willing to offer up a different opinion from those who had expressed dissatisfaction with this scene for variations on the reasons described above. In fact, I even inserted the phrase (quoting our own Veronica Mars to one Logan Echolls): Sometimes a cigar store ... is just a cigar store. However, a few paragraphs later, I wrote this:
Perhaps it is taking it too far to claim that Veronica was -- just the slightest bit -- emasculating Logan, but in our society, isn't the one in control seen as the more dominant party and isn't the stereotype often enough that the dominant one is the masculine? Yes, indeed. (And we've certainly been told enough times that Veronica is the 'man' in their relationship.) So take a scene later on between Wendy and Max where Max inexplicably is getting his toenails painted by his girl. This, in a way, could be seen as another, more obvious form of emasculation. Just like Veronica taking control in the first scene ... and then offering acknowledgment for unspoken gratitude from Logan with regards to his giving up the fry. So, the question becomes, were viewers supposed to read a subtext of discomfort and inequality in their relationship based upon the taking of the fry? Or was it merely a case of writer Diane Ruggiero trying too hard to make the scene funny -- as sadly, many of the VM writing staff have been doing all season long? Again, perhaps. Or instead was it the intention of Ruggerio to show the audience that Logan and Veronica were trying too hard?
Taking the scene at face value, it is cute. The two were sharing a meal and Veronica was playing a little game with him because she ate all her fries, he had some left and she wanted one of his. Cute. How he indulged her. Cute. How he held out the fry to feed her. Cute. How she stopped him because the proffering didn't quite live up to her standards, was in fact, a disappointment, without the ketchup. Cute. How he obeyed, dipped the fry and then fed her. Cute how she accepted it graciously and then -- cute -- how she established gratitude from him whether it was intended or not. Cute. How he smiled and stood up, kissing her goodbye. It was all cute. Very, very cute. Logan giving. Not just of the fry, but of the paper with information on a mystery that he knew would interest her, even though he isn't comfortable with her sleuthing as it puts her in danger. But Veronica is in control; and she can't change who she is and Logan knows this. And accepts it.
Yeah, when broken down ... not so cute.
So, the answer to the above query -- were the writers trying too hard to be cute, or Veronica and Logan trying too hard to be cute? -- comes to an almost easy conclusion. I want to believe that it's the former, but no matter how hard I try to read the scene as just a surface play on the two enjoying a meal together, I am unable to do so. Taking in the bare bones, laid out above, it's clear. And that's not even taking into account the fact that there is an obvious parallel running between Logan and Veronica and Max and Wendy throughout the episode. So, yes, I'm inclined to surmise that it is, indeed, the latter. Or rather a combination of the couple trying too hard paired with Veronica's controlling nature asserting itself ... in even a seemingly innocuous scene.
Scene Two: Munchies and Hooker Talk
Now due to my less than rosy view of the scene above, I'm sure it's easy to predict that I'll have the same Negative Nellie reaction to the rest of the show. That's not the case. In fact, there was very little negative I found in every other scene (but for the final one, of course). Here, I didn't read Veronica asking him about hookers as anything other than curiosity. They were just sitting around eating, waiting for a hooker and the thought popped into her mind and she asked. And I think this is a GOOD thing! Why? Because it showed a nice comfort level between them.
Veronica was thinking before she spoke and the fact that she felt comfortable enough with Logan to just ask showed us a Veronica less on edge, more going with the flow than we often see her with Logan. See? Good! There was almost a friendly vibe between the two of them and I just did not read any level of interrogation or suspicion in how she broached the subject. And that would be because she didn't broach the subject; it just slipped out due to the circumstances. Veronica was simply curious.
Did she assume the worst of Logan in regards to the hooker question? Yes, but I don't think it was in the vein of Veronica assuming the worst of Logan, but rather just about any person assuming that when one doesn't want to answer a potentially embarrassing question because their answer is in the positive, they avoid answering. It wasn't Veronica-specific. So disregarding the history of her lack of trust, this was actually a pretty cute scene (unlike the earlier one that was strained and symptomatic of the issues in their relationship). The way that she handed him the food, how they settled across from one another and munched on their burgers, well, it felt so real and natural. The back and forth banter was also wonderfully reminiscent of their interaction towards the end of season one and is much, much closer to how many felt the two romantically would play out. It would have been really nice to have seen more of this in the first arc, but whaddya gonna do?
Another aspect of the scene that we saw play throughout the episode was their differing views on romantic notions vs. warts and all. Of course, Veronica is a warts and all girl, because she can't stand not knowing every secret. And I can't blame her. The secrets that were held and then all came tumbling out in that span of time when her life fell apart were devastating enough to make the girl never want to be kept in the dark again ... about anything.
Logan, on the other hand, bless his heart, is truly a Hollywood baby. He knows about the dark side, has lived it ... hell, he's been it and he knows that like moviemaking, the trappings and rosy exterior can often hide the mundane and the darkness beneath. However, he has also learned that just because something isn't pretty, just because things aren't always what they appear, that doesn't mean that the fundamentals of a thing aren't true and important. For Logan, it doesn't matter what Veronica has done ... what matters is who she is and who she is is the girl that he loves, warts and all. And because he knows that so thoroughly, he doesn't need proof that the warts exist. He's aware of them and simply doesn't care because she's Veronica and he loves Veronica.
Oy vey, these two getting back together without any discussion of issues was so a recipe for disaster. Sigh.
Scene Three: Two Hookers and a Reunion
Not much here in terms of analysis. It was nice seeing the two sitting together, Logan's arm casually thrown on the couch behind Veronica. And of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the threesome-hooker exchange. Hee! Veronica's "honey!" -- the "honey" in and of itself marvelous because it was such a casual, natural endearment -- was hysterical. But even more hilarious was Logan's complete and utter lack of repentence with his continued lament that "this is just wasteful." Double hee!
Oh, why oh why couldn't we have gotten banter and interaction like this the first six episodes when they were together? These scenes were so much fun!
Scene Four: Awkward ... and then there's Madison
The progression in this scene of Logan and Veronica's reactions to Wendy and Max were sweet and possibly telling. Both started out clearly bored and a tad comfortable with the other's couple show, but once the two told their story, it was obvious that both Logan and Veronica were warming up to their love story. I suppose it's possible that one can take from Wendy's comment about different choices that it was applicable to Logan and Veronica and their situation. But I don't see it. Perhaps were Logan and Veronica not in possibly the best place we've ever seen them together emotionally, I could buy that, but they are and so I don't.
Sigh. And then along came Madison. In retrospect, I'm was at first surprised she didn't spill the beans then and there, but I actually don't think the only reason for that lack was so that we could get a cliffhanger of an ending. However, upon more thought, I found it in character for Madison. Sure, in front of Veronica alone she's going to play the bitch and rub it in her face, but when there's someone else there -- whom she wants to keep in her good graces -- she'll play it cool. And that's exactly what she did.
Personally, I would have liked to see a little more discomfort from Logan considering the later reveal, but from an emotional point of view, the complete disinterest was almost better. And of course, Madison didn't pick up on it at all. Of course. When will these skanks learn that Logan really doesn't give two shits about them and is just using them for sex? It's not as if he isn't obvious when his heart is engaged. Honestly. Ah well, Madison's never struck me as one able to either (a) read a room or (b) use her brains for anything other than snide commentary.
Scene Five: The Heart and the Mind
What was most interesting about this scene was the different reactions from Logan and Veronica to the situation. Veronica was weighing the story, looking for plotholes, sifting through it like the junior detective she is. On the other hand, Logan was clearly involved with the emotional aspect of the tale unfolding before him, showing concern and sympathy in a truly empathetic way. And isn't that our couple to a tee? Veronica's brain is always working, always on overdrive, looking for the answers. Logan, wearing his heart on his sleeve, is satisfied with what is right in front of him.
Scene Six: An Overstayed Welcome
Hee! The scene before we saw Logan full of sympathy for Max's pain and woe and then boom! once the bugger won't leave so that Logan can be alone with his girl, that compassion just went flying out the door. Hee! I liked seeing a selfish, almost uncaring Logan because that IS a part of who he is and we haven't seen much of that side of him this season. So it's always fun when the jackass pops out. And clearly Veronica didn't have a problem with his attitude. Of course not. She wanted some alone time with her honey too!
Scene Seven: So, Blackmail's the Go-to Crime?
Honestly, I sincerely wonder if Ruggiero even remembered that Veronica had casually blackmailed Logan five episode ago. There was an undercurrent that was totally missing from this scene. Logan's dismay with Veronica's (STUPID!) blackmail scheme came from concern over her safety. There was no underlying subtext from the dialogue at all that Logan's frustration came from a much more personal point of view.
Now, Jason Dohring did supply some subtext that could be applied in that direction. He spent much of the scene looking away from Veronica and showing a deeper level of frustration than a guy who -- let's be honest -- breaks the law more than your average citizen. I didn't buy his unease as him playing the voice of Veronica's conscience; I felt it was Dohring's way of showing Logan's disappointment with Veronica casually using blackmail without remorse which pointed to how easily she may have chosen to do so with Logan. However, it was not relayed in the subtext of the scene or dialogue. A fumble from an otherwise tight, emotionally spot-on script from Ruggiero, in my opinion.
Scene Eight: Presto, Intimacy
To describe the mechanics of this scene to someone who has been watching regularly, it's extremely easy to assume that it played out like another game of Veronica showing a complete lack of trust and treating Logan as some lapdog at her feet who is unworthy of her. In fact, I've read variations on that from those who've heard about it, but not seen it. Surprisingly -- and a wonderful surprise it is indeed -- the actuality of the scene could not be farther from the assumption.
This post-coital scene is possibly THE most open we have ever seen Veronica with Logan. Did she ask him some highly personal and inappropriate questions? Yes. Did she do so in a way that screamed of an untrusting interrogation? Absolutely not. When Veronica said she wanted to open up to Logan, wanted to achieve true intimacy with him ... I believed her. Not just because of the words she used, but because of how Kristen Bell played the scene. I, as well as others, have had issue now and again with how Bell has chosen to play Veronica in regards to her relationship with Logan. It's as if her Veronica has had one foot out the door, looking for an exit sign in case she needs to make a quick getaway. In tonight's episode, and especially in this scene, this was not evident.
Veronica truly seemed to be committed to making the right choices and proving herself to Logan in doing so. And that is exactly how Bell played her. Yes, Veronica asked Logan those questions, but she also offered Logan the opportunity to ask her anything at all himself. She didn't push a condition, she didn't shut herself off -- it wasn't about an interrogation. It was about communication. Still, naturally Logan was leery. After all, as I pointed out countless times in the first arc, he was waiting for the other shoe to fall and was therefore holding himself back just the slightest, expecting her to make that quick getaway.
And you could sense him almost reaching for that here, the way he kept trying to dodge her question because he probably feared she wouldn't believe him. And then dodging because of fear that she would judge him. All completely understandable reactions considering their history. However, like Veronica, he was trying to let go of their past mistakes. So instead of holding back, he told her the truth -- warily, but he did so. And for once (halleluja!) the truth was rewarded. She didn't question him, didn't doubt his word. She took in what he said with full belief and lack of judgment or condemnation. Even when he admitted an unpleasant one-night-stand, she still did not judge and I believe that she was quite proud of herself for not doing so.
Take in the expression on her face and then the way the smile blossomed after Logan asked her if she still loved him. As well, listen to the tone of her voice when she said "yes." She was upset when he first told her; she was disappointed, but when he asked her, she took that moment to think -- and harking back to the warts and all discussion before -- and realized that yeah, warts and all, she still loved him. This? For one Veronica Mars? Is a breakthrough. A pretty amazing one. And the look on Logan's face made it perfectly clear that he thought so as well and judging by the beautiful intensity of that kiss, was cherishing it.
Will this breakthrough stick? Considering her reaction to the information of who he slept with, odds are not of a favorable outcome. However, I do believe that this is a matter of timing and that the basis of the breakthrough will last. Once they get over this hump -- and I do think it is just because it was Madison Sinclair, and not because of the one-night-stand -- they'll be the stronger for it. And damnit, they better get over this hump before season's end.
Scene Nine: An Ocean of Smitten
I have to say that this scene, or more accurately one line in this scene, confused me more than just about anything else this season. Veronica actually says to Wendy:
I suppose the point (other than the plot contrivance of getting Veronica to the lingerie shop) was to show that Veronica is still not 100% sure about Logan (how could she not be, though?!). If that is the case, then it is yet another sign that Veronica, although wanting to be with Logan, isn't ready yet. If she has yet to fully embrace and accept just how very much he loves her then one can theorize that perhaps she's still unable to do so because to accept that he loves her completely would mean that any failure in the relationship can more likely be lain at her doorstep due to her inability to love him so thoroughly back.
And that leads us right back to the first scene which showed Veronica as the one in control. It's likely that Veronica feels -- even subconsciously -- that to open herself completely to Logan would be giving up control because she has yet to realize that the two are not mutually exclusive. Logan has shown -- in every relationship we've seen him in that was even a little more than sex (ie, all but Kendall) -- that he is not the one in charge and he's fine with that. Logan is comfortable enough in his own skin that he's more than willing to let his partner drive. He just wants to be in the front seat ... right next to her.
Sigh. And of course, this line led to Wendy's retort about lingerie which led to ...
Scene Ten: The Lingerie Shop
Oh, Veronica. Does it make sense that Veronica hates Madison oh so much more than Dick or any of the others who have caused her heartache? No. But hate isn't rational. I've always gotten the impression that Veronica didn't like Madison even before the 09ers turned against her and vice versa. As well, Madison is a girl. That seems like an obvious statement, but it's true. There's a pathology that alternately states that those of the same gender should stick together, but also that when it comes to contention between females, there is a viciousness that is generally not found in male/male combatants. And consistently, Madison has remained the one person throughout the entire series that Veronica has never not shown an incredible amount of loathing for. Ever. Again, does it make sense? No. But again, hate is irrational. So finding out that Logan's regrettable hook-up was with the one person who -- for whatever irrational reason -- has become the very symbol of all that she loathes in the universe, well, the look on her face says it all. Disbelief, a kick in the gut, it's the end of the world as we know it.
Personally, I hate the contrivance because nothing will convince me that Logan sleeping with Madison while he and Veronica were split up is, after all, anything but a contrivance. However, since Rob Thomas has decided to go there (grr), I'll give him this ... he did pick the one person I can believe Veronica being this thrown by Logan have been with. I mean, again, look at her face. That right there? Devastation. Oh, and sigh, the afore-mentioned breakthrough is pretty much on hold.
Fuck.
Sadly, as each scene played out in chronological order throughout this episode, it became clearer and clearer that the differences between Logan and Veronica and their approach to love are deep, indeed. And there really is only one way for them to work ... Veronica needs to open up and stay open. She needs to learn to just accept the happiness that is sitting RIGHT THERE in front of her and not question it, not fixate on the problems that are problems only because she allows them to be so. Only then, will these two crazy kids finally make it work.
Max (President Evil and Hi, Infidelity), aka Sir Cheats-a-lot, intercepts Veronica on her way to supporting her legal drug addiction at the Hearst coffee cart. She asks him how his business helping dunces (and ballers) cheat their way through college is going. Apparently, it's going so well he's hired a team to help him. Veronica snarks about the irony of his 'team' providing 'study sheets' for Ethics exams and he retorts that the irony has faded over time; just like the double-whammy-irony of *Veronica* calling someone else to task for capitalizing on those dubious ethics has faded over time for *her* audience.
Preliminaries aside, Max tells Veronica he has a case for her if it's true that she's a junior private investigator (is that like a junior office assistant? I'm sure she should have been promoted to management by now if that's the case). While Veronica goes into her usual whine about being "used" while being paid, Max gloriously rebuts that he'd be comfortable using her without paying her if that's an option. Sorry, no can do, Maximillan.
Here's the deal: He's in love with a girl who's getting married in a week. He doesn't know whom she's marrying or where she lives or even what her last name is. But he's in love, damn it: Hearts and flowers, stuffed teddy bears, doves flapping; *that* kind of love! And if Veronica doesn't find his Juliet before she gets married to the wrong man, Max's going to style his hair with a blow dryer under water.
Yeaaahhh ... so ... Apparently Logan Echolls has to compete for the Drama Queen Oscar this season (awarded annually to the man most dramatically whipped by love). Just when he thought his family connections would give him consecutive wins three years running!
Back from the credits, Max tells Veronica that he does know his true love's first name: Chelsea. Well, at least there's that. Oh, and the fact Chelsea's from Poughkeepsie. Chelsea, Poughkeepsie. She'd be a perfect subject for Wayne Brady to serenade on Whose Line is it Anyway,, no? But seriously ...
The depth of their connection based on so little factual information is so obvious to Veronica that she delicately asks Max if his lady love has any idea who *he* is. Max tells Veronica that they met at Comic-Con (and *no* there was no furry action in a Wookie suit), hit it off and had a big, deep and meaningful time in his hotel room (and, no, that is not a euphemism for mind-bending fraking). He wasn't Trekking at the convention; Dave Gibbons had a new graphic novel (the 'comic book' for those in denial about their inner geek) and he wanted to see it ... before heading over to the Battlestar Galactica pavilion when he could no longer resist the magnetic draw ... to Chelsea, yeah, not the hot Cylon babes. If he'd resisted he'd never have met the love of his life and bonded instantly over their shared opinion that the Cylon raiders look like Batman's car when it turns into a plane. So the moral is that to find true happiness we must embrace our inner BSG geek; it didn't steer Moe or Max wrong!
Wendy and Max might have originally bonded over Comic-Con stars but by the end of the day they were connecting deeply on their views about moral grayness, rather than making their own morals a little grayer by enjoying some quality fraking. What they had was *more* than sex. The next day Max drove her to the airport and she told him she left all her information on a note in his room since they were running so late. When he got back to his room housekeeping had been by and he couldn't find the note. Veronica seems positive that this overzealous housekeeper is nothing more than a patsy for Chelsea either failing to leave a note or jotting down the number to the nearest White Castle; but Max is positive that the note was there. He's positive because a few days ago Chelsea sent him a text message, cementing their epic pairing by vying for the Drama Queen Oscar herself: Since Max didn't contact her she's decided to not only get back together with an ex but marry him. So there!
Veronica doesn't understand what he wants her to do if Chelsea's getting married, especially when he has her number if she texted him. He says he's tried calling but some guy answers and claims never having heard of Chelsea. Veronica asks to see the text but unfortunately it was accidentally erased by his roommate; he does still have the number though.
While Max gets the phone number, Veronica practices her favorite sport: Sticking her nose in other people's business as she mills about their room. This time she finds that Max attended the Around the World party that Mac and Parker had dressed their room up for in Show Me The Monkey. Max explains that the photos were taken in the 'kinda lame' room that was supposed to be Canada, echoing many-a-fan reaction aboot the Canadian clichs, eh? Veronica pouts as Max points out his roommate Brian and his other friend, Fred (could these names be any more boring? Are his parents names Jack and Jill?) and then hands over Chelsea's cell number.
Veronica dials the number and 'some guy' answers, repeating (in a voice clearly TIRED of repeating himself over and over) that he doesn't know anyone named Chelsea. Veronica doesn't bother asking whether he's lying but asks about the area code of his number (845). He tells her it's a New York area code from Goshen around forty five miles away from Poughkeepsie. He denies that anyone borrowed his phone and anyway, he's nowhere near Goshen since he goes to college in California.
And it all suddenly makes sense.
Veronica asks the redundant question and he confirms he goes to this tiny, liberal arts college called Hearst that no one's ever heard of (except for all those people who read newspapers and wonder about the mortality rate of children matriculating any college with Veronica Mars on the student register). Veronica asks him to check his outbox for Chelsea's message to Max but the guy says he has no idea how to work his phone (come on, we've all felt that way). Veronica sighs and if you look closely -- yep, right there -- that's the last dregs of her patience slipping away. She asks if she can come check his messages herself and though that must sound strange and slightly stalkerish to this stranger, he apparently prefers the idea of being stalked by the sexy female voice over his line than the concept of being harassed with more phone calls by lovesick Max.
Veronica gives an impromptu lecture on how to sort through those confusing subfolders in one's message box; one can find messages sent from their phone in the 'sent' folder but it's easy to get confused. As she explains she opens Chelsea's message and reads out: "Max, I don't know why I haven't heard from you; I guess I was wrong about our night together ..." I'm guessing there was more to the message than that if Max found out about her wedding and it probably looked more like this anyway: 'max i dont no y i hvnt heard from u. i guess i was wrong bout our nite 2gthr.' It looks like it's the first time he's been aware of the message and he denies having sent it. The last time he went home was around Christmas. Veronica goes into her usual spiel when she gets a barely useful fact: Constructing a story featuring a slutty girl working over a poor deluded boy for his cell phone -- when one of her companion's co-workers in the Hearst cafeteria bakery walks out from the back with a tray of freshly baked muffins.
Veronica immediately recognizes the colleague as Max's roommate Brian and her spy-girl superpowers start to tingle. Aah, she's wearing the Uncanny Observation Skill Utility Belt this week. Brian smiles when she recognizes him and introduces himself, but Veronica says he looks more like a 'Chelsea.' Poor Brian; Cosmo said wearing makeup was cool now that metrosexual chic was fashionable; boys should make themselves pretty too.
Veronica goes back to see Max bearing a glass of information -- half full or half empty. Depending on your perspective. Veronica leads with the 'glass is half full' version because -- bah -- it's always good to go in soft before you give your sickeningly nave client the old one-two upper cut back into their noir reality. Half full: Chelsea's not getting married. Half empty: she's a hooker.
Brian and Fred came to a Dick-esque epiphany to 'help' their friend get out into the world of women: He'd have more confidence if he got laid. Simple formula for simple minds. Max decides he has a new plan and doesn't need Veronica any more: He's going to kill his friends so if she could just leave her bill ... Veronica seems to think they were trying to help him out in the only way they knew how but if she knew that Logan had been getting similar advice from Dick last week I doubt she'd be this sympathetic. Max doesn't like that argument either, since he doesn't want to be the next sexual charity case: Can't you see it now? Some Aaron Echolls wannabe narrating a somber commercial encouraging viewers to donate just one dollar a day so they too could help a horny, college virgin find his way to manhood.
No, he's not a charity case; he has standards. Max is still convinced what he felt with Chelsea was real and that his friends know him so well that they simply picked a girl that he could connect with. Veronica decides to pour a little more water out of his half-full glass by telling him that they didn't *find* his perfect girl, they *coached* her to be his perfect girl. They told her he was a Battlestar Galactica fan, put her in a 'So Say We All' shirt and even fed her the line of ultimate connection about the Cylon raiders looking like Batman's car.
Crushed, Max asks Veronica about his last shred of hope: The text message. She tells him it was sent by his friend when they were concerned that his pining was going to turn into a more permanent sexual hibernation. Brian decided to text him the message from his workmate's phone so they could break the illusion (or delusion) of Chelsea without 'crushing' him (and the accidental deletion probably wasn't so accidental either). Yes, because imagining the love of your life is marrying someone else is much less traumatizing than imagining she's single, if unsuitably employed unless she wants to star in Pretty Woman 2: The College Years.
Unlike what his friend's thought, Max's Chelsea bubble refuses to burst under the sharp point of her profession and he asks if Veronica can still find her. Veronica, being who she is, feels the need to reiterate that Chelsea will still be a prostitute. Max doesn't care that Chelsea is in a profession that, according to Veronica (and the how-to guidebook), trains women to lie to men par for the course; he's convinced that there are some feelings that can't be faked and he saw them in Chelsea when she cried while he dropped her at the airport. Veronica, still stuck on the fakes feelings for a living, is more apt to believe Chelsea was in tears at the thought of paying for a cab all the way back from the airport. Meow and hiss, Veronica dear. Having enough, Max stands to his feet and firmly tells Veronica to do her job: he wasn't paying her to find out what Chelsea did for a living, he was paying her to find Chelsea. So is she going to do it or not?! Duly chastened, Veronica silently concedes.
Brian and Fred are incredulous when Veronica informs them that Max still wants to find his beloved hooker in the cafeteria later on. If they could put their friend in a straight jacket for falling in love, he'd have been there long ago and now they're concerned that Veronica is indulging his manic heart palpitations by taking his case. Veronica sardonically informs them that Max thinks Chelsea is his 'one' true love, to which Brian replies that every boy thinks the first girl that touches where his bathing suit covers is the one. Actually, Chelsea did no naughty-place touching. They spent five hundred dollars each to have a professional talk with Max about his feelings; his sexuality might have been under closer inspection with a real psychologist. In short, Max and Chelsea talked and connected ... a situation that quickly gets labeled the worst moment of Brian's life (oh, to live such a pleasant life, hey Veronica?).
As the ubiquitous Chili's product placement looms ominously over their discussion, Brian checks that Veronica told Max that Chelsea was a hooker one more time. Veronica is on the same wavelength as Max's friends and thinks maybe seeing who Chelsea really is will finally burst his bubbly love. They team up with Veronica and show her how they found Chelsea in the first place: A hooker search engine (and no, it doesn't look like the same website that introduced Dick to the love of his life, Bambi Gasm of the Boston Gasms, in Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough). Veronica first searches for the name 'Chelsea' only to find a Hulk-like prostitute complete with Annette Benning hair-do. Interesting but oh-so-frightening for the children in the audience. Though this is the only Chelsea on the site, it's clearly the wrong person or Max is even stranger than she first assumed. Brian and Fred deny that's her but, being experts, explain to the frosh porn prowler that pros change their working name all the time.
For a moment Veronica boggles at the idea of searching through over 18,000 profiles to find Max's Chelsea (an understandably frightening prospect given the last photo). Luckily for her, Brian and Fred knew their Max's type and are expert online sex shoppers. They direct Veronica to search through the prostitutes by preference, describing Milla Jovovich with a B Cup and a fondness for role-playing. Veronica finds it all very Weird Science and that is probably an apt reference given the fact the boys in the film never got any action from their computer designed babe either.
Disturbingly, Veronica needs no further direction on how to describe Milla Jovovich with a B Cup and fondness for role-playing aside from the question on experience type: PSE (Porn Star Experience) or GFE (Girl Friend Experience). She wonders if there's a reality experience where the prostitute reminds the guy she's only there because he's paying her; meanwhile, I'm guessing she keys in 'Girl Friend Experience' for our dear boy, Max, otherwise Chelsea has a different idea of porn than I do. Her horny minions have served Veronica well, cutting down a batch of 18,000 sexual escorts to two blonde girls with their faces blurred out. Neither Brian or Fred is sure which blurry face belongs to the Chelsea they picked (not that the face would help given they probably weren't looking in that direction when they picked her).
Later while Veronica tries to engage her reluctant father in their daily Quipster Death Match, she hits the fatal blow by informing him she won't be home for dinner because she's going to meet a couple of hookers over at Logan's place. He plays along until she keeps going with her joke, soberly saying that they booked Fiona and Lisette on a school night to save on the off-peak hours. Keith looks unnerved enough to make me assume he must have already concluded Logan's salacious sexual appetite was too much for his prudish daughter and was now wondering if Veronica was finally sending in for reinforcements to give her a break from his constant needs. Ah, if only he was getting that much action ... alas, we're not on HBO.
Later at Logan's, Veronica's beau is doing his best to dodge Veronica's playful have-you-ever-shtupped-an-escort landmine and finally succeeds when Max arrives. There's a long, elongated pause after Veronica introduces the guys. If you hit the 'slow' button you can probably just make out the scroll of repressed one-liners streaming by Logan's head on the left side of your screen. But really, why bother to choose one line from a million when the smirk speaks a thousand quips? Max tells Logan he had no idea she was a hooker at the -- but no one's judging. Much.
A while later, Logan and Veronica (sitting miles away from Max like they fear coming down with hooker-love symptoms) are watching Sense and Sensibility with their new friend while they wait for his true love plus one. And while we're waiting on our escorts" Sense and Sensibility? Really? We have a Battlestar Galactica fan, a Southpark fan, and an Easy Rider fan and somehow no one changed the channel when they hit Sense and Sensibility?
Unable to handle watching Emma Thompson make moon eyes at a ruffled, blinky Hugh Grant, Max escapes to the bathroom per Logan's directions. While he's gone the first knock comes to the door. Logan nervously preens as he goes to answer the door, waiting for his girl's signal before welcoming Lisette into his place. Veronica stands back like she thinks the hooker will pounce if she makes any sudden movements (I'd be more worried about the girl pouncing on Logan because I know I would if given half the chance, free of charge). Lisette coyly greets Veronica and says that threesome kink will cost them a little extra even though she's up for anything (which makes me question my original 'girlfriend experience' assumption). Max rejoins the party just in time to stop the mnage a trois and make them look even kinkier for a second. But no, Lisette isn't Chelsea so Veronica tells Max to pay the girl and Lisette gets to leave without breaking a sweat (while Logan laments this despicable waste of a natural resource).
As she walks out the door (giggling with joy at her easiest trick ever), it's clear contestant number two has arrived. She introduces herself to Logan as 'Fiona,' but Max gasps out 'Chelsea' at first sight. "Chelsea" lights up when she recognizes Max -- first by voice, then by face. She runs toward him at the same time he runs to her, meeting in a crushing reuniting hug much like the one Logan and Veronica experienced last week in that exact place (minus the kissing). Logan looks to Veronica in surprise, then grins widely, his inner Austen-fan swooning at the sight of this 'happy ending' (yes, put twenty down on Logan as the S&S fan). Veronica returns her gaze to the embracing couple and frowns; so Plan A for puncturing Max's Chelsea-bubble was, excuse the pun, a complete bust. He looks just as smitten as before, hooker be damned.
'Chelsea' and Max snuggle, kiss and cuddle on Logan's couch while he gets absolutely no action from his non-PDA-loving girlfriend. Actually, he doesn't look too fond of the smacking sounds interfering with his Austen-time either; it's the scene where Willoughby crushes the heart out of Marianne in a public forum, okay? The smacking sounds are interfering with the necessary somber ambience! They remain stubbornly sappy so there's nothing for Logan and Veronica to do but start a sarcastic commentary tag-team for their own fun (*glares* hey, that's my job). Logan decides to ask the usual boring questions, where's 'Fiona' (or is it Chelsea?) from originally? There's no answer to that question because she's too busy deflecting her Fiona (and Chelsea) mask, unveiling herself as Wendy. Yeah, I can see why she had to change that name because it's only one step away from Mary on the purity scale.
Instead of taking their happy reunion elsewhere, they continue to snuggle and interrupt Logan and Veronica's alone time. (All the LoVe fans are collectively glaring at you snugglekittens, it's time to pack it up! If there's going to be making out on this couch it's going to be Logan/Veronica style or nothing at all!) Wendy finally apologizes for the gratuitous snuggling by explaining that she was so happy because she never thought she'd see Max again; she was misty-eyed and heartbroken when he dropped her off at the airport and she'd done a little self-examination knowing that if she'd made different choices she'd be able to be with this sweet guy, crying at her departure. Alas ...
Logan seems into the romance; Veronica? Not so much, though she is thawing. Before Veronica and Logan can start giggle-gushing over their own epic romance story (let me pause while I chuckle over that thought) the scene is interrupted by a monster from the depths of hell. Oh no, my mistake. That's just Madison. Veronica tells her that Dick isn't home (in other words 'frak off') but Madison stops to ask Logan what he's up to, then leaves lamely when she says she's going to do something that doesn't suck. Picking up on the venomous vibes radiating from Veronica as she slams the door behind Madison, Wendy rhetorically asks if they're friends. No, Veronica replies, Madison's pretty much the embodiment of all things Veronica loathes. And Veronica loathes a lot of things so maybe the monster from the depths of hell line wasn't overstepping the mark.
The next day Max texts Veronica and she heads on over to his dorm again. After spotting Wendy's sexy, purple lingerie on his floor she guesses that Max's love life has gone to infinity and beyond. But he's too antsy for quipping. He wants to hire her to make Wendy disappear -- get her a new identity, close her apartment etc. Excuse me "who does he think Veronica is exactly? She only does things like that when she's helping her boyfriends flee the country and that's not something any of us want to see repeated. When Veronica does her best impersonation of the Governor whispering 'you have been erased' to her clients over a cloned cellular, I'll start worrying about this show.
Veronica clearly has concerns too but they're about Max getting in too deep with a prostitute. She attempts to caution Max about how fast he's going with someone he barely knows, only conceding that Wendy seemed 'fond' of him. Her caution is postponed when Wendy opens the door behind Max and drops some of her things on the ground. Max tells Wendy that Veronica is going to help them (I must have missed when the agreement fairy visited) and Wendy gratefully misconstrues Veronica as a friend. She confides that it's easy to break in to the working girl business but not so easy to break out.
Veronica shifts uncomfortably and seems like she wants to escape the conversation until Wendy namedrops a particularly difficult client, namely a judge. Oooo! Ooo! Veronica's often repressed inner gossip queen bounces to the forefront, eyes gleaming with excitement! "Which one?" "Kramer." "No freakin' way!!" Veronica starts gushing her own dirt on Kramer about taking bribes. Wendy retorts that he's her kinkiest client -- no sex -- but he likes to take her to his office to have tickle fights while he walks around in her shoes.
(Huh. So this is girltalk in Veronica's land of noir. Interesting.)
Their moment of "bonding" is interrupted when Wendy looks across to Max and realizes he doesn't find it funny or the least bit interesting. Uncomfortable is the word for his face. She looks down, ashamed, and when Max realizes she's become aware of his feelings he covers by consoling her with the fact Kramer won't be stretching out her shoes any more if Veronica helps them. He reiterates to Veronica that he'll pay whatever it costs (he must be some kind of nerdy 09er to have all this easy money, maybe he would have been pals with Mac if she'd been a Sinclair ... ). Now that her little gossiping moment with Wendy has passed, Veronica's returned to her standard wary disposition.
Meanwhile, Logan answers a knock at his door all cheeky smiles until -- another hooker with a great big shiner on her right eye is revealed on the other side of the door. Logan's smile slips off his face as she disdainfully asks where Wendy is.
Wendy, Max and Veronica come over to Logan's to hear the ugly truth. Wendy's co-hooker, Nikki, applies an ice pack to her bruised face while she explains to Wendy that if she doesn't return to the fold with the grand she was supposed to be paid for servicing Max the night before, Mr Happy Fists is going to play the less fun version of connect the dots on Nikki. Max jumps in, refusing to let Wendy go back when he'd been about to help her escape. But the reality is: Helping Wendy escape means Nikki is going to get hurt. Wendy, clearly pained, eventually stops Max's protests in the firm realization that she has to go back. But they had a great night didn't they? Wendy calls it her best night ever and Max pulls the grand from his pocket (that was meant to be for Veronica's bill) and hands it over to Nikki as she pulls Wendy away from his life by her arm. Veronica nods wearily as she sees her pay float away from her on another impulsive gesture, while Logan looks crushed by the empathy coursing through his body for Wendy. Wendy is pulled from the room and Max is once again Peter in the Never Never without his Wendy-lady.
Logan's crushing sympathy for Max goes right out the window hours later when his libido is raging (damn Veronica and her scruples about PDAs) and Max is still using Logan's apartment as his Designated Suite of Emo. That's just not cool; Logan does enough emoing in his lounge for twenty Max's, this is tipping the scale into a Designated Suite of Clinical Depression category. Logan very unsympathetically decides if he's going to get the love of his life to touch where his bathing suit covers, he's going to have to kick EmoMax out on his ass. Veronica intercedes before Logan commences the ritual balcony toss (learned from Dick, not Cassidy) and goes out to gently nudge Max toward the door.
She quips tactlessly that Wendy and Max will always have Comic-Con ... Max sends her a displeased emo-frown back. Finally, in the face of his depression she bends completely, telling Max she was wrong about Wendy -- their connection was clearly genuine -- and it sucks to watch him lose her that way.
(Audience, put a timer on the whiplash of that concession ... and ... go!)
She finishes her speech and goes to get Max a glass of water but as she's walking toward the fictional water spout, she picks up the ice pack Nikki left behind on Logan's couch. Sidebar: There must be a kitchen somewhere since that's not so much an icepack as frozen vegetables but it can't be in the direction of the door (where she's walking) can it? I'm confused! Nonetheless it doesn't matter because Veronica freezes on the way when she catches a glimpse of the dishcloth covering the pack -- alarm bells are dinging!
(I counted the whiplash apology retraction at around ten seconds, how about you?)
Veronica has seen purple makeup on the dishcloth, clearly that bruise on the hooker's face was a fake and they were all duped by Nikki and Wendy to get another grand out of Max. He doesn't buy that Wendy screwed him over, "That's what she does, Max, she screws people for cash." And ... so much for seeing the genuine connection between EmoBoy and his Happy Hooker. Since that was Veronica's pay Wendy and Nikki snaffled, she's decided to take this personally and employ a revenge scheme 'on behalf of Max' in order to crush Wendy. Crush her like a teeny, tiny bug beneath a heel.
Even though the 'brilliant' revenge scheme Veronica comes up with to get revenge could do more to hurt her and Max than Wendy, Veronica is very excited about extorting the judge her father failed to get booted out of office. The plan is to extort a grand from the judge to get Max back his money and, simultaneously, take Wendy's 'best' client. Best? Really? I think Wendy would thank you for that one, Veronica. And one grand? Seriously? If you're going to extort a judge at least make it hurt a little.
Something is clearly wrong with the universe however when Logan is the one saying "Extortion is wrong and dangerous, Veronica, stop being so reckless" and she's the one going, "Yay! Revenge is FUN! You're not going to try and get me to stop are you, honey?!" Is anyone else confused by this picture? When did Logan become the mature, sensible one that doesn't like breaking the law? Oh, that's right. Logan has experience on the end of Veronica's yay! fun blackmail shtick so maybe he just can't go into this particular vengeful modus operandi with haha joy.
Max, not looking as thrilled at the prospect of extorting a judge and crushing Wendy as Veronica does, tries to tell her she doesn't have to do this. Read: *don't* do this. She says it's all cool and she'll use his cell so it can't be traced to her. Well, that's okay then. As long as Max is the only one that could be identified and bumped there's nothing to worry about! Veronica calls up the judge and tells him she knows a lot about him, no really, she does! Including his proclivity for high heels and tickling. I bet she only just resisted asking about which brand he preferred and how fluffy they were over the toes (hey, it's tickling and heels in one!). Clearly, Judge Kramer doesn't want his weekly date with a hooker getting out so he lets Veronica state her terms. She wants a grand delivered to a locker at the Neptune bus station, when he delivers the money he's to call Max's cell phone back with the locker number and combination in twenty-four hours.
Max finally realizes he's not welcome after all the fun extortion is done (really? Ya think they want to be alone? Just now?) and he decides to leave them to ... whatever it is they were trying to do while he moped around Logan's lounge. Veronica smiles as soon as Max is gone and uses her sex kitten voice to purr that she can't believe she had to extort a judge to get some quality alone time with Logan. He looks less than indulgent and still worried about the extortion as he whispers she doesn't have to work that hard. Sure she does, she says and they kiss. But if that peck was representative of the passion they were so impatient to eject Max from the apartment to explore, I am really confused. I am choosing to believe their's is a slow burning flame and we missed all the scorching bits that would have been on HBO. Clearly, we did as the next scene contains naked spooning and attempts at emotional intimacy.
The next morning Max calls Veronica with the news that Judge Kramer has dropped off the money and Veronica is more than welcome to be his accomplice or, you know, witness for when he's shot to death. Veronica enthusiastically replies that the pick up is the best part and she'll meet him in twenty minutes. When did blackmail become her favorite pastime? I mean, I know she got what she wanted out of Logan but it didn't look that fun back then ...
Veronica cautiously opens the locker (ah, caution in a cautionary tale, it's almost poetic) and finds ... no money. Where's Logan when you need someone who actually knows how to do the shocker symbol? Instead, Veronica finds a piece of paper inside. When she unfolds it she finds a clear and concise message: "GO OUTSIDE. GET IN THE LIMO. OR WENDY GETS HURT." They used angry caps so you know they mean now, bitch.
For people hell bent on crushing Wendy into tiny, tiny pieces they move toward the parking lot quick enough when she's threatened. Huh. I half expected Veronica to turn around and say, "well, that takes care of the crushing part of our vendetta, let's go back to Logan's for some super emo espresso and reminisce about my other successful revenge schemes." No. Apparently stealing a grand is not worth Wendy getting her assed physically kicked.
In the parking lot they find a man that could use Joe the Giant as a toothpick standing beside a black limousine. Ignore the Pulp Fiction rift, he doesn't look that much like a Stretch John Travolta thug in that suit. Max quickly climbs into the limo without hesitation but the very petite Veronica takes a moment to marvel at a real life man mountain, wondering how long it would take her to climb to his summit if she puts her hiking boots on. Then he snaps, "Get in!" and let's just say she's not feeling argumentative today.
The limo drives its occupants to a rain-drenched abandoned parking lot beside a line of railway tracks creating just enough noise pollution to disguise the sound of ... wait a minute, I think I've seen this film ... but no, no gun shot. Just Veronica rambling about how she's learned never to extort a judge who likes to wear fluffy pink heels (yes, I just decided they were fluffy and pink because the man likes to be TICKLED so I feel this elaboration is not too much of a fanwanky-stretch).
Inside the limo, Veronica continues to ramble about just wanting to get Max's money back while both her and Max look about as big as Thumbelina sitting next to the living proof that when your heart's full of love you can grow nine feet tall. When your heart's full of something anyway ... The big bouncer shaped black man holding Veronica's purse redirects Veronica's pathetic begging to the beautiful blonde Madame sitting beside him looking less than impressed by Veronica's high-pitched hysterical prattle. He's not her pimp; the lady beside him is her ..."agent".
Veronica surprisingly calms down at that correction (never mind the fact the two burly guys clearly are the Madame's muscle whether they give the orders or not). Meanwhile her bodyguard goes through Veronica's purse and pulls out her stun gun, remonstrating Veronica about whether the voltage is 'street legal' (never mind the fact they were just kidnapped while committing extortion against a Judge ... I don't think an illegal taser is high on Veronica's list of pending criminal charges). Wendy's agent, tells Happy to put the taser down (hee, Happy Fists, there's a hero for Comic-Con) while she explains to Veronica that she's the one that always gets called when one of her girls screws up. Max says Wendy didn't do anything; he was the one who called the judge. Eh ... no, the voice was female and even though he's probably the girl in the relationship that doesn't mean he's *that* emasculated yet. The Madame begs to differ, it was a female voice on the phone (she says while looking pointedly at Veronica). And Wendy has screwed up a lot: She fell in love with a client (Max doesn't hear much beyond this point), she tried to end her relationship without so much as a goodbye (yeah, that one hurts, can't you empathize with the pimp's pain, Veronica?) and she also told a client about the judge's predilections. I guess they must have some prostitute/client privilege so it really IS like seeing a psychologist.
While Max is still stuck on the 'fell for a client' portion of the conversation, the Madame continue to explain that Wendy owes her money for the braces and the tattoo removal and the housing and clothes she'd been using while under her Madame's 'care'. She says Wendy could work it off -- but Max interrupts that he'll pay the balance owing. Hell, he doesn't even ask the price even though he does blink when the Madame volunteers that the price of Wendy's freedom is a cool ten grand along with a promise that neither Veronica nor Max talk to one of her clients again. She ends the conversation with a cooler threat to make the bruises real next time if they break those conditions. Veronica tries to caution Max again but, geez, Veronica, it's a bit late for caution now, paying the prostitute is probably the only way you're getting out of the car without finding out why Mr. Happy Fists' fists are so happy.
As Veronica and Max walk toward his dorm she's still reeling in incredulity that he just handed over ten grand for a girl he has no guarantee will -- oh. As they round the corner they find the package has been safely delivered after being sent out into the world. Wendy and all her baggage (both literal and figurative) are waiting outside his door. He starts twitching with happy excitement and she opens her arms as he rushes forward to embrace her again. Well, darn it. How is Veronica supposed to stay cynical and suspicious about this situation when the damn hooker is so damn happy and in love? She's not more cynical about the world than a prostitute now is she? Oh dear.
Later in the cafeteria, Max waves to his girl from the lunch line while Wendy and Veronica smile in wait at one of the tables. Veronica whimsically comments on how smitten Max is, wondering how Wendy ever managed to make a boy fall that crazy in love with her. (Yes, it was an amusing comment from a LoVe point of view so let's quickly move on before I can't resist the power of the ranting smilie calling my name; we'll save those comments for Chemistry) Wendy explains that it's mostly dumb luck with a side order of interesting lingerie. Never underestimate the power of lingerie (yes, that purple set was quite nice actually).
Weevil interrupts their conversation with a supposedly funny story about the faculty lounge that we never hear when he recognizes 'Fiona.' In a very uncharacteristic move for Weevil (or maybe it is in character and he just doesn't get the social stigma against strippers), he publicly embarrasses Wendy for her sexual history by bringing up the fact he recognized her from when she used to dance at The Electric Lady where his friend used to bounce. When she denied it, he kept going, trying to prove he recognizes her by recalling her lovely dragon tattoo on her left ass cheek. Uncool, Weevs. Uncool on so many levels that I just have to think you don't find stripping wrong and don't understand why everyone else does because you didn't treat Carmen that way.
Veronica intercedes when Weevil doesn't find his clue in all his ogling, stressing that he's mistaken. Finally realizing that the blinking neon signs aren't just garish set directions or stripping lights but warnings along the lines of 'WRONG WAY, GO BACK' he retracts his conclusion and decides he must be mistaken. He apologizes to Wendy and says he'll see Veronica around, eyeballing the twitchy white dude that's come up behind him carrying two ice creams like he's Logan Echolls scraped off his shoe. An uncomfortable moment of silence and tension descends over the table and Veronica finally looks like she understands how hard it really is for Wendy to leave that life behind her unequivocally.
Later that night, Max is reading Ulysses while Wendy paints his toenails with clear nail polish. Awwwwww. And I mean that. I also want to see Veronica do that to Logan. But despite the joy that should come from getting the love of your life painting your toe nails while you read Joyce, Max seems unusually quiet. Wendy calls him on it and he claims that he just needs to get the novel read by Tuesday. She understands but now that they're talking ... he recalls that there was a dragon in her purse the day they met. He guesses she likes them and she only has time to confirm that before the door opens and Brian and Fred come in.
When they see her painting his toenails (though I'm sure it's more about her in general) they poorly conceal their sniggering laughter and warn Max about their RA Stuart Potter lurking around the hallways. They think he saw Wendy with her bags and since there's no co-ed slumber parties allowed in the dorm they're just giving their good buddy and his live-in hooker a friendly warning. She thanks Brian for letting her stay for a few days, perking up in a positive can-do way about getting a job and finding her own place as quick as possible. Brian says they dropped by because they may have a job for her. Max immediately sees where this is going but Wendy doesn't get it until Brian says his brother is getting married. He wants her to be the stripper at his bachelor party. "Hey, that's my girl you're talking to!" She timidly tells them she's retired and they insincerely apologize bashfully and say they'll find someone else. Once a hooker, always a hooker right?
Max wants to ask her a question and though she knows she'll probably regret it because the past will only hurt them, she lets him. (Sound familiar? Yeah, it's like that.) He asks if she really left the information at his room or if that promise had been a lie. It doesn't seem like the worst thing because she was a prostitute and she'd have no reason to assume he'd want to know her if he knew she was a prostitute. But it's clear on both their faces that this answer means everything. No, she didn't leave her information even though she wishes she had. Max, having expected that response, decides he needs to go for a walk to clear his head while Wendy stays in his room crying, and realizing ...
Max comes to see Veronica in the library to pay her. She bursts out with another tactful comment ('how's tricks?') before retracting it with a censored 'how's things?' They suck. Wendy's gone but at least she left a note this time. Veronica is pissed off that he bought Wendy out of prostitution and she was ungrateful enough to leave him anyway, "please tell me you don't want me to find her again." No, he agrees with Wendy and to explain to Veronica he reads out Wendy's note:
And that's how this story ends: Veronica consoling Max over losing the love of his life in the whitewash of stereotypes and his own instinctive moral cringe, while Wendy returned to her life as a prostitute. But surely not all romances can end this tragically? Surely some couples can get over sordid mistakes from the past when they love each other? ... Right?
- Just last week we saw Veronica sullenly eating alone (sans boyfriend) in the food court. But after their passionate (and very VERY much mutual) reunion, I'd say Veronica's more than a little tickled to have Logan back in her life. The two are sitting together in a comfortable silence, Veronica studying from her text, when Logan is about to eat one of his fries. Veronica calmly asks him if he intends to eat it, and he replies in the affirmative. She tells him that if he's just eating it to meet society's expectations (what, of not wasting cold, nasty French fries?), then she knows someone who'd be willing to take it off his hands. Logan obediently feeds it to her -- hey, not without a little ketchup first! -- and she confidently says, "You're welcome." A little bossy? More ... gently commanding. And hey! It's a small way of showing him that she likes having him around. Logan grabs his books and stands to give her his copy of The Lampoon, which she hasn't read yet. He leans down to kiss her (aww!) and says he's off to Astronomy. Now, I know Logan's been known to stargaze from time to time ...
... but I'm betting that Hearst has a general education requirement for science, and Logan's taking the easy route to fulfilling it. Because lets face it: Organic Chem is a bitch to pass.
The next evening, Logan and Veronica bring burgers back to the suite and the banter is light as Logan asks her if they should have gotten more food for the hookers. Veronica corrects him -- they prefer to be called "escorts" -- and then curiously asks him if hes ever been with one. (Uh, Veronica? Logan had sex withParis Hilton Caitlin. It's all uphill from there.) Logan gives her that are-you-on-something look and implies that he really doesnt want to go there. She might just be having fun with him, but Logan is sensing a landmine here and doesnt know where to put his foot. Smart boy. The two of them did just get back together and all -- kind of a little early to be testing the waters. But Veronica takes his unwillingness to answer her question as an affirmation that he has, in fact, been with an escort, but he laughs and tries to tell her thats not necessarily the case. Veronica says that they can forgo any romantic notions -- regardless of all their "warts," they're together, they still like each other. Thats a real connection, she muses. Logan starts to explain that he prefers his romantic notions, but catches her grinning at him and cuts himself off. He nervously warns her that even if she thinks it's all fun and safe, it's a slippery slope and "Have you ever been with a hooker?" is bound to turn into "How many?" and "How often?" Veronica furrows her brow and jokes that this must mean that he's been with multiple hookers on several occasions. Thoroughly uncomfortable, Logan returns to his burger and declines any further delving into the topic.
After Max leaves the next evening, Veronica and Logan finally have some time to themselves. It's about damn time. The two of them are in bed, engaging in some post-coital spooning, which she muses would cost him if she were a hooker. This is her not-so-sly way of bringing up the hooker issue again. Well, Logan ... at least she's yet to peruse your bank statements, looking for escort services. You're getting off easy here. He replies that he'd gladly pay, which is, yeah, really romantic. One day, Logan and Veronica will have a normal conversation. Until then ... Veronica turns to face him and asks him seriously if he's ever been with a hooker. Logan doesn't understand why it matters, but she reasons that this is their opportunity to tell all, and finally be intimate with one another. Besides, she says, secrets tend to surface whenever she's around, anyway, so why not just get it all out in the open now? Logan reluctantly agrees to answer all her questions, and of course the first thing she asks him is whether or not he's slept with a hooker. He admits that he never has, and Veronica grins and cutely bites her thumb in relief. Logan chuckles at her, happy that she's happy. He asks her the same question and she frowns and says "no," but her tone of voice says "duh!"
It's then Veronica's turn and she decides to bring up Logan and Mercer's Mexican adventure, which kind of ticks him off because he assumes she wants to know if he cheated on her while there. So much for the trust thing. But she presses further because she just wants to know how Mercer was able to drive back to Neptune, commit a rape, and then return to Mexico without Logan knowing. Hmm, I smell a retcon ... Logan sighs and admits that he must have passed out. Maybe Mercer drugged him, he doesn't know. Veronica drops the subject and Logan tells her that she can have his question.
Veronica asks him if he was with anyone while they were broken up, and he reminds her about that landmine he's trying to tiptoe around. But knowing that a) if he refuses to answer the question, she'll assume the answer is "yes" and b) if he lies, she'll probably know, so Logan just admits that he fooled around with some horrible girl that meant nothing to him. Veronica nods and shifts to stare at the ceiling. Logan quips that, yeah, this is really bringing them so much closer. She doesn't say anything. She's not angry, just ... I think Veronica is trying very hard here not to judge him, and she does succeed, even if she is disappointed by his answer. Veronica doesn't believe in meaningless sex and she has every right not to, but they were broken up. As Logan has said before, when they're together, they have to accept each other for what they are. Logan eventually breaks the silence and asks her if she still loves him. I wish he'd instead asked "Do you still want to be with me?" or "Can you understand this?" because even if she does love him, it shouldn't always be that he's pulling a yes/no answer out of her. But even so, Veronica's slow smile and gentle "yes" here is music to our ears. No tearful "yeah" this time, just an honest "yes." Logan turns to her with relief and love in his eyes and kisses her.
But we know from experience that happiness for Logan and Veronica are usually just the calm before the storm. Veronica might not have picked up on the weirdness ('cause there was definitely weirdness, people, where there wasn't supposed to be) between Logan and Madison the other night, but it's about to come back and bite her in the ass. Veronica's decided to take Wendy's advice to never underestimate the power of lingerie and make more of an effort to please her man.
She's picked out a few teddies from the lingerie shop and is about to pay for them when she hears Madison's voice requesting some thigh-high boots with the seams up the back. Veronica says she thought she saw some between the pasties and the edible underwear. Madison proceeds to put down Veronica for choosing lingerie from the sale rack, and laments (in an ungenuine way ... bitch) that it's almost a waste for her to spend so much money on lingerie, if it's just going to be ripped right off her. Uh, TMI, Madison. Too. Much. Information. Veronica informs her that if she's trying to win Dick back, she doubts she has to try that hard. Madison scoffs at the idea of Dick. No, she and Logan hooked up in Aspen over the holidays, and she thought he'd have some free time while she in town. Veronica takes this in, trying to remain composed in front of Madison, but she's obviously crushed. Madison leaves, but not without first informing Veronica that Logan isn't a fan of the one-pieces. Veronica, looking rather ill, tries to hold back the tears. And most likely the bile, too.
- Logan is taking Astronomy.
- Hearst has an outdoor eating area with a coffee bar. A welcomed change in scenery from the dark and overly neon cafeteria, if you ask me.
- Max, his roommate Brian, and friend Fred went to the around-the-world party and got their photo taken in Mac and Parker's dorm. They thought their idea of Canada was lame.
- Chelsea's profile reveals that she is in fact a dude from Tierrasanta, San Diego. Chelsea is with the agency Forbidden Fruitz and is available upon request (mobile is 619-555-0175). Her services are escort, massage, and role playing (clearly).
- Logan and Veronica are watching Sense and Sensibility with Max and Wendy. Veronica really likes those Jane Austen adaptations, huh?
- The license plate number on Madame's limo is WER9878.
- Having been finger fed delicious french fries for lunch by her adorable boyfriend, Veronica lounges happily in the Hearst food court enjoying the hilarity of The Lampoon. It seems that our oh-so-PC friends at the Lampoon were the victims of a rather vicious egging the night after the Dean reinstated the Greeks. The interior article of the special "Egged!" edition details the sites of "Huevosnacht" -- The Lampoon offices, the Pi Sig house, and the statue of the university's illustrious founder, William Randolph Hearst. As she's pondering the hilarity of The Lampoon getting egged right along with the Pi Sigs for their part in adding fuel to the fire lit by Mercer and Moe's rape spree across campus, Weevil plops himself down at the table for a little ketchup and catch up with his favorite girl detective. Veronica shares the egg-cellent escapades of persons unknown (cough*LillithHouse*cough) while Weevil marvels over the stupidity of the kind of people that express anger and agression through egging -- for example, the huevos launched at the Dean's office window during the Huevosnacht rampage -- because it isn't like the Dean's gonna clean it up himself! So who are they really punishing here?
Veronica latches onto his comment about the Dean's window because there's no mention of it in this special all eggs edition of The Lampoon. Weevil confirms that the Dean got his share of yolks and whites the same night as the other attacks and wonders if perhaps it wasn't included in their riotous take on the eggings because they couldn't figure out a tasteful way to make it funny -- seeing as how, you know, the Dean died that night. Weevil mourns the Dean's passing, commenting again what a shame it was to lose a cool dude like that. So say we all, Weevs.
Meanwhile over at the Neptune Sheriff's Department, Keith is trying to help Sachs figure out where the hell the file he requested has disappeared to considering he completed the necessary form over a week ago. C'mon Keith, get real! I'm surprised it didn't take them a month to find what you were looking for at that painfully disorganized monument to ineptitude. Sacks cries "Eureka!" minutes later (although not literally) when he finds the file in question misfiled under the letter "D" and passes it to the proficient P.I. On his way out, Keith comes face to face with Lamb, a.k.a. ineptitude's poster child. Sachs shares with his boss that Keith came to obtain a copy of Cyrus O'Dell's file. Through his trademark snide sneer, Lamb reminds Keith that he's no longer Sheriff, which is good, because I'm sure Keith's forgotten the humiliation of being kicked out of office so that YOU could run the department into the ground, you douchebag. Keith, his usually suave self, says that he's merely a concerned citizen. Lamb snarks that Keith's always "looking for a crime where there isn't one" by which I can only assume he means "looking for a way to solve a crime that I've completely and utterly fubar'd." I mean, considering how good his track record's been with major cases, particularly murders, versus how good Keith's track record is, there's only one explanation: The man is utterly and completely delusional. Anyway, Lamb suggests that Keith find a new hobby, but Keith's not interested in Lamb's advice because he finds solving a mystery very rewarding. With a twinkle in his eye and barely contained glee, Keith suggests that Lamb try it sometime. Lamb sneers sarcastically that he'll get right on that as Keith walks away. But as his expression slowly fades from cocky to bewildered, you can see that it finally dawns on him that SHIT! Solving crimes is what he's supposed to be doing! Dammit! Why does being Sheriff have to be so hard and brain-draining? Isn't it enough that he looks pretty?
The following afternoon Veronica arrives home desperate to engage in a little witty father-daughter banner with Papa Bear, but alas, Papa seems to have lost his wit. Keith appears troubled and despondent and I can only assume the reason for that is housed in the manila folder dangling from his hand. Veronica demands amusement so Keith obliges with a lackluster song telling her that he's finally got the police report on the Dean's suicide. Veronica critiques that the tune needs work and I can only agree. Heading for sustenance in the kitchen, Veronica wonders if the report says anything about the egging Weevil mentioned to her. It seems not, but Keith is less than surprised that detail was missing considering the rest of the report looks like it might as well have been written by a tenth grade devotee of the Headbanger's Ball. Veronica shares deets on the Lillith chicks, including her former editor Nish, and how they had a massive grudge against the Dean. She tells him of Nish's vow for revenge after her impromptu firing and how the girls got eggspastic on several prime Hearst locales, including the Dean's office, on the night of his suicide.
Keith is intrigued by this development and wonders if Veronica might be persuaded to chat the gals up. Veronica aptly notes that she's probably dipped into that well one (or maybe ten) too many times and the Lillith chicks are definitely not her biggest fans. Which means? Keith might have to handle this one on his own. However, she cautions him that if he decides to go undercover as a student he can't do the Daniel Boone jacket or peace signs because the times, they have a-changed.
The next morning Veronica spies her father preening in front of the mirror in his old police uniform, and I have to say, the old man looks good. Veronica, understandably, wonders what he's doing. Keith merely grins and informs her that he's getting ready for work. Veronica comments that he's missing something and disappears into the hallway, returning moments later with a portable boom box and some words of wisdom: After ripping off the tear-away pants, the pelvis thrust should be towards the bachelorette because after all, it is her special day. *snort! * And also, ewwwwwww. Shrugging off his wise-ass daughter's commentary, Keith pays an *ahem* "official" visit to Claire and Fern to discuss the night of the Dean's suicide. He tells them that he's following up on some details about the night Dean O'Dell died. He brings up the egging of the Dean's office and Fern goes all bitchy-defensive with the "oh, like that's a crime?" Keith responds to the brain trust, of course, that it always has been. Seriously -- didn't they think it would fall under the heading of something like ....vandalism? Or how about destruction of private property?
Anyway, Keith goes on to tell the girls that he's pretty certain they are responsible for the egging, despite their less-than-convincing denials, which means that they were in the vicinity while holding a nasty grudge the night he died. Claire tries to cover, but much like bees and dogs, Keith can smell her fear. He asks her to define for him who "we" included on the night in question, to which she replies that it was her, Fern and Nish. Fern tries to cover a little, but instead ends up shoving her Birkenstock-shod foot into her mouth when she comments that Nish wasn't with them when they egged the Dean's office. So where was she? Keith's just dying to know. He goes all hard-core cop on them but before he can really lay the heavy intimidation tactics on him, Nish appears from the back of the apartment. And being former editor of the campus paper, she recognizes him.
Nish tells the girls that Keith isn't a police officer anymore before trying to figure out what the heck he's doing in her apartment. At this point he's got nothing to lose, so he asks Nish where she was when her friends were egging the Dean's office. First she drags out her standard dose of superior bitchiness and reminds Keith that she doesn't have to tell him anything, and then reminds him that his little "role playing" game is also illegal. Anyway, she relents because she's got nothing to hide. She tells Keith that she was over egging the Dean's precious Volvo. This comes as a surprise to Keith, and Fran's reveal that Keith thinks the Dean was murdered comes as a surprise to her.
Back at chez Mars, Keith shares a rather disturbing discover with his daughter dearest. According to Nish, she very specifically egged the Dean's Volvo. The problem? According to the police report the Dean drove the mini van to work that day -- it was the car of his found in the parking lot the day after his death. Veronica immediately jumps to the "Nish is lying" theory, but Keith clearly wonders if something more sinister is at work. What if the Volvo was there that night? It was the car Mindy was driving on the day in question -- perhaps she paid her hubby a visit. Now Veronica's seeing where he's going and wonders aloud why his client would have failed to mention that visit to him. Sadly, Keith's as clueless as to the rest of us what this development means for the investigation.
"Never The Same Again" (Moonlight Towers)
Scene: Veronica meets perhaps the most technology-challenged college student on the planet. Unaware of how to delete messages off a cell phone? Really?
"Yeah!" (The Golden Dogs)
Scene: One redlight. Two cars. Two sheriffs. One idiot. Guess which is the real deal?
"A Thousand Kisses Deep" (Leonard Cohen)
Scene: I'm sorry, my brain still hasn't quite gotten past naked Logan. There was a bed and Veronica and Logan in the bed. And talk of hookers and history. Landmines and love. And ooh yeah, Logan was naked.
"Wheels" (Mark Lanegan)
Scene: Max is studying; Wendy is painting his toenails ... it's a moment of (slightly odd) bliss and then his jackass friends spoil the mood. Losers.
LoVe Lines
Veronica: You gonna eat that?
Logan: This? (Holds up the fry in question.)
Veronica: Yeah. That fry in particular.
Logan: That was the plan.
Veronica: (As Logan continues to examine the fry.) I'm just saying ... if you weren't, or if you were just gonna consume it out of obligation or to meet someone else's expectations, I know someone who might be willing to take it off your hands. (Logan relents and starts to feed her.) Maybe add a little ketchup? Make it worth a girl's while. (Logan adds ketchup and feeds her the fry and Veronica speaks in a sing-song voice.) You're welcome.
Logan: Well, I'm off to astronomy. Did you see the Lampoon yet?
Veronica: Uh-uh.
Logan: (Logan walks around to Veronica, kisses her, and hands her the paper.) Enjoy.
Logan: (Taking out sandwiches.) Should we have gotten more for the hookers?
Veronica: As I understand it, they prefer "escorts."
Veronica: So ... have you ever been with one?
Logan: (Stops eating.) An escort?
Veronica: Yeah.
Logan: Do we really wanna go there?
Veronica: I guess we don't have to now.
Logan: No, that wasn't me answering the question.
Veronica: Kinda was.
Logan: No it wasn't. That was me knowing there's a landmine and trying to figure out where to put my foot.
Veronica: Well, I guess you picked your spot. (Logan raises eyebrows). Look, why not dispel any romantic notions. If we see each other, warts and all, and still like each other, that's a real connection.
Logan: Well, maybe I enjoy my romantic notions. Maybe I don't care to see any warts, yours or mine. (Grins, almost embarrassed.) Oh see you're smiling, so I think it's all fun and safe but it's a slippery slope from "have you ever been" to "how many" and "how often."
Veronica: So you've been with multiple hookers on several occasions.
Logan: (Turns sideways.) I'm not having this conversation with you.
Max: That's not her.
Veronica: Sorry, Lissa. Looks like we're gonna have to reschedule. Pay the girl, Max.
Logan: Well, if we're paying her anyway ...
Veronica: (Cuts him off with a cranky face that says "could you not go there?") Honey?
Logan: (to Veronica as the the two of them watch Max and Wendy making out on the far end of the couch.) This is nice. We should hang out with your friends more.
Veronica: (On the phone.) Got it, thanks. (After hanging up the phone, holding up the notepad.) Judge High Heels' home phone.
Logan: This is a bad idea.
Veronica: It's blackmail. It's the go-to idea. In case of emergency, break glass or blackmail.
Logan: Excuse me if I can't get jazzed about my girlfriend extorting a judge.
Veronica: Look, I'm not doing a back handspring about it either, but I'm getting Max's thousand dollars back and I'm taking away Wendy's best client. It works on so many levels.
Veronica: (Walking over to Logan and putting her arms around his neck.) I can't believe I had to blackmail a judge just to get some alone time with you.
Logan: You really don't have to work that hard.
Veronica: Sure I do. (They kiss.)
Veronica: (In bed with Logan post-coital.) You know if I were a hooker, this snuggle would cost you.
Logan: I'll gladly pay.
Veronica: Really?
Logan: For this? Cash money.
Veronica: But seriously, folks ... (She rolls over to face Logan.) Have you?
Logan: What, ever been with a hooker? (Off Veronica's nod.) Why does it matter?
Veronica: I just want to know. I assume the answer is yes. Look at it as an opportunity for me to show you how cool I can be. Hooker? Who cares?
Logan: Here's your chance to be cool. Stop asking.
Veronica: I just want to get to a place with you where we can be really ... intimate.
Logan: That's what the female Praying Mantis says before she bites the male's head off.
Veronica: I'm just saying, buried secrets tend to surface when I'm around.
Logan: Maybe that's because of all the digging, huh? (Reaching out, he cups her face.)
Veronica: I'm giving you the chance to come clean. You tell all. I tell all. Go from there.
Logan: Fine. Ask away. Ask anything you want.
Veronica: Have you ever been with a hooker?
Logan: No.
Veronica: (Very pleased.) You want to ask me anything?
Logan: Have you ever been with a hooker?
Veronica: No.
Logan: No.
Veronica: The night you were in Mexico with Mercer ...
Logan: Are you kidding me? (He rolls over onto his back.)
Veronica: How was he able to get back to Neptune, commit a rape, and return to Mexico without you knowing?
Logan: Uh ... I must have passed out. It felt like a couple of minutes, but it could have been hours. Or maybe he drugged me or something. (He turns to face Veronica.)
Veronica: Your question.
Logan: You can have my turn.
Veronica: Were you with anyone while we were broken up?
Logan: Land mine. (Veronica's face falls.) I fooled around with the horrible girl who meant less than nothing to me, and I couldn't regret it more. (Veronica rolls onto her back.) Thinking of it makes me ill. (Logan rolls away from Veronica and onto his back.) So, there. Presto, intimacy. (He swallows, looking like he wants to cry.) You still love me?
Veronica: (After a long pause, she smiles.) Yes. (They kiss.)
Veronica Mars Voiceover: I heard it from a pro: Lingerie. Maybe I should get into the spirit of doing things normal girlfriends do; I should make more of an effort to please my man. First comes sexy under things ...
Quotable Quotes
Weevil: I can't believe how dumb these people are, you know? They're mad at the dean so they egg his window. Like he's the one who has to clean it up.
Lamb: Always looking for a crime where there isn't one. I think you need a new hobby, Keith,
Keith: Oh, I don't know. I find solving an investigation very relaxing. You should give it a try sometime.
Lamb: Yeah, yeah, I'll get right on that.
Veronica: Question: Does your team provide study guides for ethics exams?
Max: Everyday. Yeah, the irony has kind of faded over time.
Veronica: So, about the one that got away. She's was dressed as a Cylon and you only knew her as "Six," right?
Max: Then we started talking about our crappy relationships with our parents and Chuck Klosterman and moral grayness --
Veronica: And how when you see a plastic bag flying around, you think there's so much beauty in the world you can't take it?
Max: You get the picture.
Veronica: I do. Connection, higher plane ... then you frakked.
Max: (About the picture of him and his roommates in Mac & Parker's room.) I think that room was supposed to be Canada, but it was kind of lame.
Veronica: Hmm.
Brian: Hot stuff coming through ... and he's carrying a tray of muffins.
Veronica: Brian and Fred, as demented as this sounds, thought you'd have more confidence with girls if you ... lost your virginity.
Max: (Gaping fish mouth face of speechless incredulit.y) I'm gonna go kill my friends now so ... if you could just leave me a bill.
Fred: He wants you to track her down? You can't do this, I mean you're just fueling his fire -- he's obsessed!
Veronica: He thinks she's the one.
Brian: She's the first girl to touch where his bathing suit covers. Of course he thinks she's the one.
Veronica: Actually, she's not.
Brian: He wasn't a virgin?
Fred: We spent $500 each on a hooker and he wasn't a virgin.
Veronica: No, you spent $500 each and he's still a virgin.
Brian: Okay, she better've done like some crazy circus act.
Veronica: They talked and connected.
Brian: (Considers for a second.) This is the worst moment of my life.
Veronica: A hooker search engine. What will you boys come up with next?
Veronica: Great! There are only 18,731 escorts listed on the site. Much as I'd like to peruse their pages individually ...
Brian: (Interrupts) Try doing the search by preference. (Veronica looks puzzled.) You know, hair color, height, bondage preferences.
Veronica: You know Max's preference?
Fred: That's easy. We just described Milla Jovovich with a B-cup.
Brian: And found one into role play.
Veronica: (Somewhat stupefied.) How very Weird Science.
Veronica: (Perusing the website options.) Its like a Zagat guide for hookers! How did people find sex before there was an internet?
Veronica: What's "GFE?"
Brian: "Girlfriend Experience."
Veronica: (Incredulous.) She has to be an experienced girlfriend?
Brian: It's the type of experience you want to have. If you want it to be like she's your girlfriend, it's a GFE. Girlfriend Experience. But if you want to act like you're in a porn, it's a PSE. (Nodding in mutual male satisfaction at Fred.) Porn Star Experience.
Veronica:Is there a "Reality Experience" where she reminds the guy she's only there because he's paying her?
Veronica: From 18,000 down to 2. Your eye for detail has served us well, young Jedi's.
Veronica: (Shuts door loudly with faux irritation.) I come home after a hard day at work and there you are -- lounging with your bon-bon's and your Harper's Bazaar. (Keith looks despondent.) There better be some freshly pressed shirts in my closet or so help me. (Keith doesn't seem inclined to respond.) What -- you got nothin'?!?
Keith: Mm. Maybe I'm not in the mood.
Veronica: Amuse me, damn it! Amuse me now!
Keith: (Takes a deep breath before putting on a happy face and jazz hands and starts to sing.) I ... finally got the police report on the Dean's su-i-cide!!!
Veronica: That needs work.
Veronica: Did the report say anything about the Dean's office getting egged?
Keith: Nope. But then again it looks like it was done by a 10th grader. I swear, it might as well have heavy metal band's logos sketched in the margins.
Veronica: They went on an egging spree the night of his suicide protesting the reinstatement of the Greeks.
Keith: Do you mind talking to them?
Veronica: Yeah, I think I've dipped into that well one too many times. They're not big Veronica fans. I think you're probably gonna have to handle this one yourself. (Pauses and grins.) If you go under cover as a student, no Daniel Boone jackets, no peace signs -- the times, they have a-changed.
Keith: Will you be home for dinner?
Veronica: No, I'm meeting two hookers over at Logan's later.
Keith: On a school night?
Veronica: (Duh face.) Off-peak hours -- save a few bucks.
Keith: You're not really ...
Veronica: Fiona and Lisette. They're just a couple of gals puttin' themselves through college. Man! Stop bringin' me down with your bourgeois hang-ups!
Veronica: (To the lip-locked Max and Wendy.) You guys need a refill ... or a room?
Veronica: (Opening the door to the suite.) Madison.
Madison: Oh. It's you. So, are you and Logan, like, dating again, or are you hotel staff?
Veronica: (Letting Madison in.) Did somebody order a PSE?
Wendy: (About Madison.) Friend of yours?
Veronica: No, Madison is pretty much the physical embodiment of all things I loathe. (To Logan.) If Dick starts dating her again, you're gonna need to get a different roommate.
Veronica: From where I stand, Wendy's the idiot. And now we must crush her. (Ponderingly.) How to make the happy hooker not so happy.
Happy: (Pull's Veronica's taser out of her bag and turns it on.) I don't think this is street legal. What's the voltage on this?
Madame: Put it down, Happy.
Veronica: Wait, there really is a Mr. Happy Fists? I thought that was just colorful language.
Max: (Shocked.) I'm sorry. Did you say she fell for a client?
Madame: She asked out. But there's a problem, you see. Wendy owes me money. Braces aren't cheap. Tattoo removal isn't cheap. Clothes and housing aren't cheap. Now, she could work it off --
Max: I'll pay.
Veronica: (She and Max walk down the hall to his dorm room.) You just handed over a hundred $100 bills.
Max: Yeah, I was there.
Veronica: (Regarding Max.) That boy is smitten.
Wendy: Yeah, isn't he great?
Veronica: Yeah, pretty great. So what is the secret to making a guy fall for you like that?
Wendy: Dumb luck ... and interesting lingerie. Never underestimate the power of lingerie.
Veronica: (Keith walks into her room carrying the suicide report.) Man, you just love that report.
Max: (To Wendy.) There was a dragon in your purse the first time we met. I guess you're a fan of dragons ...
Brian: I might actually know of a job.
Wendy: Really?
Fred: Yeah, that's what we came to see you about.
Brian: My older brother is getting married next Saturday and the guy organizing his bachelor party has this really uptight wife so they didn't book a stripper. We're scrambling to get someone. It should be a good gig, they're all, like, lawyers!
Max: Hey dudes, that's my girl you're talking to!
Wendy: I'm retired actually.
Max: You mind if I ask you a question?
Wendy: Probably, but go ahead.
Max: When I dropped you off at the airport and you said you left all your information back at the hotel, I got back and the room was clean. So ... I guess my question is, did you really leave it for me? Was it really there?
Wendy: (After a long pause she shakes her head tearfully.) No ... but I really wish I left it.
Veronica: You bought her out of prostitution and she left you? Please tell me you don't want me to find her again.
Max: No! No, I think she may be right. She said uh ... (taking out a letter from his back pocket) what'd she say? She said uh ... "The day we met was one of the best days of my life. I fell for you that day but you didn't know what I was then and now you do. And it shows in the way you look at me, and it shows in the way you touch me but I'll never regret it. You showed me what I was missing. Love Wendy."
Veronica: Ten thousand is a lot to pay for a life lesson.
Madison: You know, it's kind of smart of you to raid the sale rack like that. It's almost a waste for me to spend all this money on something that'll be ripped right off of me.
Logan: If you're trying to get Dick back, I don't think you have to work that hard. Seriously. A hefty bag and some duct tape and you'd be good to go.
Madison: Dick? Please.
Veronica: You came over, I figured ...
Madison: Oh! Logan and I hooked up in Aspen over the holidays. I guess you two were split, huh? I was in town, I thought he might have some free time but, oh well! Oh, and uh, as a friend, (looking at Veronica and her purchases like she's crazy) he's not so big on the one piece numbers.
Poughkeepsie, Tramps & Thieves (Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves) ... (Referenced by the episode title.)
An extremely catchy and pretty deep song by Cher, "Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves" (also spelt as "Gypsieys, Tramps & Thieves"), was released in 1971 and was the first number one hit by the singer as a solo artist. It hit the number one spot on the Billboard charts on November 6, 1971.
The lyrics:
Sir Lancelot (also sometimes known as Lancelot du Lac, or Lancelot of the Lake, and occasionally also Launcelot) is one of the Knights of King Arthur's famed Round Table. In most of the French prose romances and works, he is characterized as the greatest and most trusted of Arthur's knights, and plays a part in many of Arthur's victories -- but Arthur's eventual downfall is also brought about in part by Lancelot, whose affair with Arthur's wife Guinevere destroys the unity of Arthur's court.
Lancelot is a tremendously popular character, and has been the subject of many poems, stories, plays, and films in various incarnations of the Arthurian cycle of romances. For most readers (and/or moviegoers) no other knight in King Arthur's court is nearly as well known as Sir Lancelot. He is generally thought of as the most valiant member of that brotherhood and the secret lover of Arthur's beloved Queen Guenivere. Interestingly enough, Lancelot is not actually an original member of the cycle, and the development of his story is still a source of considerable disagreement between scholars.
In the movies, Lancelot has been portrayed by many fine actors, most notably: Robert Taylor in 1953's Knights of The Round Table, by Richard Gere in 1995's First Knight (with Sean Connery as a kick ass King Arthur in an otherwise unintentionally amusing film), and by John Cleese in 1974's iconic comedy Monty Python and The Holy Grail. The latter is perhaps the best, if not the most accurate, version of this well-known character.
Cleese as Lancelot in Monty Python
and The Holy Grail.
In Monty Python, Cleese's Lancelot is a marvelously violent knight known to attack castle walls, farm animals, wedding guests, and flowers -- who might also be gay. In the film, he vehemently denies this proclivity. However in 2005's Spamalot!(the musical version of the film), Lancelot does, in fact, embrace his homosexuality at the end of the quest.
Poughkeepsie, New York ... (Referenced by Max as Chelsea/Wendy's hometown.)
As it turns out, there are two Poughkeepsie's in New York state: Poughkeepsie (the city) and The Town of Poughkeepsie. Although the two are neighbors (and are often viewed as one place), the population of the Town of Poughkeepsie is roughly double that of the city. I suspect that Wendy was referring to the city, which is the county seat of Dutchess County, located in the Hudson River Valley roughly midway between New York City and Albany. The city's name is derived from a Native American word (roughly U-puku-ipi-sing), meaning "reed hut by the water" or "campsite by small water," referring to a spring or stream feeding into the Hudson River. Bordered on the west by the Hudson River and in all other directions by the Town of Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie calls itself "The Queen City of the Hudson."
Poughkeepsie is probably best known for two things: IBM and television's Ally McBeal. IBM has a large campus in Poughkeepsie (a facility still referred to by many as IBM's "Main Plant") although the main IBM campus is actually in the Town of Poughkeepsie. As for the Ally McBeal connection, the word "Poughkeepsie" is used by one of the two founding partners, John Cage (played by veteran actor Peter MacNicol), of the law firm that Ally works for. John, also known as The Biscuit, started using the city's name to control his stuttering and the link is laid to the city in the first season of the series in the episode Alone Again. Ally explains Cage's use of the word "Poughkeepsie" and his eventual progression to the use of "New York" instead:
Comic-Con International, commonly known as Comic-Con or the San Diego Comic-Con, is an annual four-day (Thursday through Sunday) "multi-genre" fan convention. Founded in 1970 by Shel Dorf and a number of fellow San Diegans, it was originally known as the Golden State Comic Book Convention and later the San Diego Comic Book Convention which, as the title implies, originally showcased only comic books. Comic-Con originated in the basement of the U.S. Grant hotel in 1970, with an estimated attendance of three hundred people, according to the 2005 souvenir book. It later was held at the El Cortez hotel and later moved to San Diego's Convention and Performing Arts Center/Golden Hall before eventually moving to it's current home at the San Diego Convention Center.
Held during the summer in San Diego, California the convention has expanded over the years to include a larger range of pop culture elements, such as science fiction, fantasy, horror, animation/anime, manga, toys, collectible card games, video games, television (Veronica Mars has been showcased there the last two years in a popular panel), and movies. The convention is the largest of its kind in the United States, filling to capacity the San Diego Convention Center with 125,000 attendees in 2006.
Wookiee/Star Wars ... (Referenced by Veronica when she teases Max about Comic-Con.)
A Wookiee (Wookie) is a fictional creature from George Lucas's Star Wars universe. A full-grown Wookiee reaches over six and a half feet in height, is physically strong, possesses remarkable endurance and is covered in very thick hair. Legend h
Original Air Date: January 30, 2007
Written by: Diane Ruggiero
Directed by: John Kretchmer
Staff Grade: A
Membership Median Grade: A
The second arc is proceeding much better than did the first, because we have another winner! Like Wichita Linebacker, there are many parallels between the Mystery of the Week couple and our Logan and Veronica and it all plays out beautifully. Actually, the entire LoVe storyline is beautiful: We get sweetness and tenderness, some cute, couple-y moments, romance and a dash of passion, old-school-style banter and (of course) some heartbreak. The quips fly fast and free, mostly hitting bulls-eyes; there is heart a'plenty, not one weak supporting player, and while there may have been no Wallace or Mac, we did get Weevil (even if he was, oh, a tad underused) and best of all, no Piz! Unfortunately, the Keith/Veronica relationship is all but a tired, inappropriate joke now and Veronica does have a few startling moments of stupidity (blackmail? just popping into the limo?), but overall, this remains one of this season's strongest entries, fitting nicely in with the series' best.
Credited Cast Non-Appearance
Percy Daggs III - Wallace Fennel
Ryan Hansen - Dick Casablancas
Julie Gonzalo - Parker Lee
Chris Lowell - Stosh "Piz" Piznarski
Tina Majorino - Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie
Recurring Guest Stars (Previous Episode Appearances)
Chastity Dotson - Nish
Chery Ferreyra - Fern
Brandon Hillock - Deputy Sacks
Krista Kalmus - Claire
Amanda Noret - Madison Sinclair
Adam Rose - Max
Guest Stars
Christopher Carley - Phone Guy
Brianne Davis - Wendy
Jackie Debatin - Madame
Nathan Frizzell - Fred
Richard Keith - Brian
Who's Who in Neptune
Phone Guy - Hearst student who works in the cafeteria with Max's roommate, Brian, and whose phone the fake text message from "Chelsea" came from.
Wendy - Hooker who as "Chelsea" fell for Max.
Madame - Wendy's "agent."
Fred - Max's friend, conspired with Brian to hire him a hooker.
Brian - Max's roommate, works in the cafeteria with Phone Guy and conspired with Fred to hire Max a hooker.
Highlights
Jason Dohring (Logan Echolls) - Truth be told, there wasn't originally a highlight for Dohring planned, but as many of us rewatched the episode his acting popped out more and more. It wasn't as if any of us thought that he didn't do a good job prior to rewatch, no, it was rather that he just did his "usual great job." Thinking on this later reminded me of the skater Brian Boitano who would give flawless performance after flawless performance and receive less than perfect scores from the judges while other skaters on that occasion would rise above themselves and deliver nearly flawless performances ... and receive a ten. Despite the fact that Boitano actually performed a perfect routine, others were given a perfect score and not Boitano because he always gave a perfect performance and he was taken for granted. The same can often be said of Jason Dohring. He just about always gives such a magnificent performance that perhaps that talent and consistent excellence is just the tad taken for granted.
It definitely should not have been so this week, although most of us agreed originally so. Upon rewatch however, Dohring was so subtle and nuanced; his performance was layered and he was frankly, just so damn on in every single scene. He was adorable and funny, with some of that devilish snark on display and plenty of those little moments that just draw the viewer's eye. It was barely possible to take your eyes off of him in any scene he was in. In addition, he handled the heavier emotions just as flawlessly. There was subtext galore throughout the episode and a depth of emotion so beautifully on display in the pillow talk scene that it and he was breathtaking.
So for Jason Dohring another highlight. Just because he's so consistently great doesn't mean that he shouldn't be rewarded every time that he is. And this time ... he most certainly was.
Adam Rose (Max) - Adam Rose gives a charming, nuanced, layered performance in Poughkeepsie, Tramps & Thieves. Previously appearing on Veronica Mars as the go-to cheat sheets king, Rose's Max had much more story this time around. Playing a virgin who falls in love with a hooker is not an easy role to essay. In fact, it screams of cliche and plot contrivance. But Rose imbued the character of Max with a warmth and level of believability that immediately put the viewer on his side. We care about Max. We are hopeful when he is hopeful, crushed when he is crushed and in the end, deeply saddened by the end of his relationship. This was a perfect marriage of good writing and good acting. Hooker stories are pretty much a dime a dozen in the era of television crime procedurals but this hooker story, while no Pretty Woman, still sparkled and much of the credit goes to Rose's performance. Here's hoping we see more of Max.
Scene One: Taking the Fry
Although a seemingly innocuous scene, what we saw here was practically a metaphor for Logan and Veronica's relationship ... and not a very positive one. Veronica is in control; Veronica takes. Logan is perpetually the powerless one; Logan gives. And then accepts Veronica's acknowledgment of his sacrifice without batting an eyelash. Does this seem like a bit much to take from a forty-second scene of cutesy-cute couple-y stuff? Perhaps. The thing is that when I first began this write-up, I was quite willing to offer up a different opinion from those who had expressed dissatisfaction with this scene for variations on the reasons described above. In fact, I even inserted the phrase (quoting our own Veronica Mars to one Logan Echolls): Sometimes a cigar store ... is just a cigar store. However, a few paragraphs later, I wrote this:
Quote:And as I tried to continue in this vein, I realized that, no, the issues didn't really come to light until the final scene between Max and Wendy and then the presumption of most viewers on what will be Veronica's reaction to the information she found out in the cliffhanger. So, in other words, everything up until that point in the episode between Logan and Veronica had in fact been a head-on collision course to that parallel ... including this first scene.
Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But the comfort level between Logan and Veronica was better than we've ever seen throughout the rest of the episode. While there were indeed parallels to be seen between their issues and those of the Mystery of the Week couple, I don't think this was supposed to be evident in the first scene. I think that parallel was supposed to hit home once the sexual discussion came forth.
Perhaps it is taking it too far to claim that Veronica was -- just the slightest bit -- emasculating Logan, but in our society, isn't the one in control seen as the more dominant party and isn't the stereotype often enough that the dominant one is the masculine? Yes, indeed. (And we've certainly been told enough times that Veronica is the 'man' in their relationship.) So take a scene later on between Wendy and Max where Max inexplicably is getting his toenails painted by his girl. This, in a way, could be seen as another, more obvious form of emasculation. Just like Veronica taking control in the first scene ... and then offering acknowledgment for unspoken gratitude from Logan with regards to his giving up the fry. So, the question becomes, were viewers supposed to read a subtext of discomfort and inequality in their relationship based upon the taking of the fry? Or was it merely a case of writer Diane Ruggiero trying too hard to make the scene funny -- as sadly, many of the VM writing staff have been doing all season long? Again, perhaps. Or instead was it the intention of Ruggerio to show the audience that Logan and Veronica were trying too hard?
Taking the scene at face value, it is cute. The two were sharing a meal and Veronica was playing a little game with him because she ate all her fries, he had some left and she wanted one of his. Cute. How he indulged her. Cute. How he held out the fry to feed her. Cute. How she stopped him because the proffering didn't quite live up to her standards, was in fact, a disappointment, without the ketchup. Cute. How he obeyed, dipped the fry and then fed her. Cute how she accepted it graciously and then -- cute -- how she established gratitude from him whether it was intended or not. Cute. How he smiled and stood up, kissing her goodbye. It was all cute. Very, very cute. Logan giving. Not just of the fry, but of the paper with information on a mystery that he knew would interest her, even though he isn't comfortable with her sleuthing as it puts her in danger. But Veronica is in control; and she can't change who she is and Logan knows this. And accepts it.
Yeah, when broken down ... not so cute.
So, the answer to the above query -- were the writers trying too hard to be cute, or Veronica and Logan trying too hard to be cute? -- comes to an almost easy conclusion. I want to believe that it's the former, but no matter how hard I try to read the scene as just a surface play on the two enjoying a meal together, I am unable to do so. Taking in the bare bones, laid out above, it's clear. And that's not even taking into account the fact that there is an obvious parallel running between Logan and Veronica and Max and Wendy throughout the episode. So, yes, I'm inclined to surmise that it is, indeed, the latter. Or rather a combination of the couple trying too hard paired with Veronica's controlling nature asserting itself ... in even a seemingly innocuous scene.
Scene Two: Munchies and Hooker Talk
Now due to my less than rosy view of the scene above, I'm sure it's easy to predict that I'll have the same Negative Nellie reaction to the rest of the show. That's not the case. In fact, there was very little negative I found in every other scene (but for the final one, of course). Here, I didn't read Veronica asking him about hookers as anything other than curiosity. They were just sitting around eating, waiting for a hooker and the thought popped into her mind and she asked. And I think this is a GOOD thing! Why? Because it showed a nice comfort level between them.
Veronica was thinking before she spoke and the fact that she felt comfortable enough with Logan to just ask showed us a Veronica less on edge, more going with the flow than we often see her with Logan. See? Good! There was almost a friendly vibe between the two of them and I just did not read any level of interrogation or suspicion in how she broached the subject. And that would be because she didn't broach the subject; it just slipped out due to the circumstances. Veronica was simply curious.
Did she assume the worst of Logan in regards to the hooker question? Yes, but I don't think it was in the vein of Veronica assuming the worst of Logan, but rather just about any person assuming that when one doesn't want to answer a potentially embarrassing question because their answer is in the positive, they avoid answering. It wasn't Veronica-specific. So disregarding the history of her lack of trust, this was actually a pretty cute scene (unlike the earlier one that was strained and symptomatic of the issues in their relationship). The way that she handed him the food, how they settled across from one another and munched on their burgers, well, it felt so real and natural. The back and forth banter was also wonderfully reminiscent of their interaction towards the end of season one and is much, much closer to how many felt the two romantically would play out. It would have been really nice to have seen more of this in the first arc, but whaddya gonna do?
Another aspect of the scene that we saw play throughout the episode was their differing views on romantic notions vs. warts and all. Of course, Veronica is a warts and all girl, because she can't stand not knowing every secret. And I can't blame her. The secrets that were held and then all came tumbling out in that span of time when her life fell apart were devastating enough to make the girl never want to be kept in the dark again ... about anything.
Logan, on the other hand, bless his heart, is truly a Hollywood baby. He knows about the dark side, has lived it ... hell, he's been it and he knows that like moviemaking, the trappings and rosy exterior can often hide the mundane and the darkness beneath. However, he has also learned that just because something isn't pretty, just because things aren't always what they appear, that doesn't mean that the fundamentals of a thing aren't true and important. For Logan, it doesn't matter what Veronica has done ... what matters is who she is and who she is is the girl that he loves, warts and all. And because he knows that so thoroughly, he doesn't need proof that the warts exist. He's aware of them and simply doesn't care because she's Veronica and he loves Veronica.
Oy vey, these two getting back together without any discussion of issues was so a recipe for disaster. Sigh.
Scene Three: Two Hookers and a Reunion
Not much here in terms of analysis. It was nice seeing the two sitting together, Logan's arm casually thrown on the couch behind Veronica. And of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the threesome-hooker exchange. Hee! Veronica's "honey!" -- the "honey" in and of itself marvelous because it was such a casual, natural endearment -- was hysterical. But even more hilarious was Logan's complete and utter lack of repentence with his continued lament that "this is just wasteful." Double hee!
Oh, why oh why couldn't we have gotten banter and interaction like this the first six episodes when they were together? These scenes were so much fun!
Scene Four: Awkward ... and then there's Madison
The progression in this scene of Logan and Veronica's reactions to Wendy and Max were sweet and possibly telling. Both started out clearly bored and a tad comfortable with the other's couple show, but once the two told their story, it was obvious that both Logan and Veronica were warming up to their love story. I suppose it's possible that one can take from Wendy's comment about different choices that it was applicable to Logan and Veronica and their situation. But I don't see it. Perhaps were Logan and Veronica not in possibly the best place we've ever seen them together emotionally, I could buy that, but they are and so I don't.
Sigh. And then along came Madison. In retrospect, I'm was at first surprised she didn't spill the beans then and there, but I actually don't think the only reason for that lack was so that we could get a cliffhanger of an ending. However, upon more thought, I found it in character for Madison. Sure, in front of Veronica alone she's going to play the bitch and rub it in her face, but when there's someone else there -- whom she wants to keep in her good graces -- she'll play it cool. And that's exactly what she did.
Personally, I would have liked to see a little more discomfort from Logan considering the later reveal, but from an emotional point of view, the complete disinterest was almost better. And of course, Madison didn't pick up on it at all. Of course. When will these skanks learn that Logan really doesn't give two shits about them and is just using them for sex? It's not as if he isn't obvious when his heart is engaged. Honestly. Ah well, Madison's never struck me as one able to either (a) read a room or (b) use her brains for anything other than snide commentary.
Scene Five: The Heart and the Mind
What was most interesting about this scene was the different reactions from Logan and Veronica to the situation. Veronica was weighing the story, looking for plotholes, sifting through it like the junior detective she is. On the other hand, Logan was clearly involved with the emotional aspect of the tale unfolding before him, showing concern and sympathy in a truly empathetic way. And isn't that our couple to a tee? Veronica's brain is always working, always on overdrive, looking for the answers. Logan, wearing his heart on his sleeve, is satisfied with what is right in front of him.
Scene Six: An Overstayed Welcome
Hee! The scene before we saw Logan full of sympathy for Max's pain and woe and then boom! once the bugger won't leave so that Logan can be alone with his girl, that compassion just went flying out the door. Hee! I liked seeing a selfish, almost uncaring Logan because that IS a part of who he is and we haven't seen much of that side of him this season. So it's always fun when the jackass pops out. And clearly Veronica didn't have a problem with his attitude. Of course not. She wanted some alone time with her honey too!
Scene Seven: So, Blackmail's the Go-to Crime?
Honestly, I sincerely wonder if Ruggiero even remembered that Veronica had casually blackmailed Logan five episode ago. There was an undercurrent that was totally missing from this scene. Logan's dismay with Veronica's (STUPID!) blackmail scheme came from concern over her safety. There was no underlying subtext from the dialogue at all that Logan's frustration came from a much more personal point of view.
Now, Jason Dohring did supply some subtext that could be applied in that direction. He spent much of the scene looking away from Veronica and showing a deeper level of frustration than a guy who -- let's be honest -- breaks the law more than your average citizen. I didn't buy his unease as him playing the voice of Veronica's conscience; I felt it was Dohring's way of showing Logan's disappointment with Veronica casually using blackmail without remorse which pointed to how easily she may have chosen to do so with Logan. However, it was not relayed in the subtext of the scene or dialogue. A fumble from an otherwise tight, emotionally spot-on script from Ruggiero, in my opinion.
Scene Eight: Presto, Intimacy
To describe the mechanics of this scene to someone who has been watching regularly, it's extremely easy to assume that it played out like another game of Veronica showing a complete lack of trust and treating Logan as some lapdog at her feet who is unworthy of her. In fact, I've read variations on that from those who've heard about it, but not seen it. Surprisingly -- and a wonderful surprise it is indeed -- the actuality of the scene could not be farther from the assumption.
This post-coital scene is possibly THE most open we have ever seen Veronica with Logan. Did she ask him some highly personal and inappropriate questions? Yes. Did she do so in a way that screamed of an untrusting interrogation? Absolutely not. When Veronica said she wanted to open up to Logan, wanted to achieve true intimacy with him ... I believed her. Not just because of the words she used, but because of how Kristen Bell played the scene. I, as well as others, have had issue now and again with how Bell has chosen to play Veronica in regards to her relationship with Logan. It's as if her Veronica has had one foot out the door, looking for an exit sign in case she needs to make a quick getaway. In tonight's episode, and especially in this scene, this was not evident.
Veronica truly seemed to be committed to making the right choices and proving herself to Logan in doing so. And that is exactly how Bell played her. Yes, Veronica asked Logan those questions, but she also offered Logan the opportunity to ask her anything at all himself. She didn't push a condition, she didn't shut herself off -- it wasn't about an interrogation. It was about communication. Still, naturally Logan was leery. After all, as I pointed out countless times in the first arc, he was waiting for the other shoe to fall and was therefore holding himself back just the slightest, expecting her to make that quick getaway.
And you could sense him almost reaching for that here, the way he kept trying to dodge her question because he probably feared she wouldn't believe him. And then dodging because of fear that she would judge him. All completely understandable reactions considering their history. However, like Veronica, he was trying to let go of their past mistakes. So instead of holding back, he told her the truth -- warily, but he did so. And for once (halleluja!) the truth was rewarded. She didn't question him, didn't doubt his word. She took in what he said with full belief and lack of judgment or condemnation. Even when he admitted an unpleasant one-night-stand, she still did not judge and I believe that she was quite proud of herself for not doing so.
Take in the expression on her face and then the way the smile blossomed after Logan asked her if she still loved him. As well, listen to the tone of her voice when she said "yes." She was upset when he first told her; she was disappointed, but when he asked her, she took that moment to think -- and harking back to the warts and all discussion before -- and realized that yeah, warts and all, she still loved him. This? For one Veronica Mars? Is a breakthrough. A pretty amazing one. And the look on Logan's face made it perfectly clear that he thought so as well and judging by the beautiful intensity of that kiss, was cherishing it.
Will this breakthrough stick? Considering her reaction to the information of who he slept with, odds are not of a favorable outcome. However, I do believe that this is a matter of timing and that the basis of the breakthrough will last. Once they get over this hump -- and I do think it is just because it was Madison Sinclair, and not because of the one-night-stand -- they'll be the stronger for it. And damnit, they better get over this hump before season's end.
Scene Nine: An Ocean of Smitten
I have to say that this scene, or more accurately one line in this scene, confused me more than just about anything else this season. Veronica actually says to Wendy:
Quote:Seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY!?!?! Logan is possibly THE most smitten guy in the world right now. And it's not as if he hides his affection for her. No, no, no, no, no ... rather he all but walks around with a neon sign plastered to his front and back declaring his love for her. How!? What!? Why would she ... could she even ask this question?! Max's smittenness for Wendy? A mere drop in the bucket to the ocean of smitten that Logan feels for you, Veronica!
So, what is the secret to making a guy fall for you like that?
I suppose the point (other than the plot contrivance of getting Veronica to the lingerie shop) was to show that Veronica is still not 100% sure about Logan (how could she not be, though?!). If that is the case, then it is yet another sign that Veronica, although wanting to be with Logan, isn't ready yet. If she has yet to fully embrace and accept just how very much he loves her then one can theorize that perhaps she's still unable to do so because to accept that he loves her completely would mean that any failure in the relationship can more likely be lain at her doorstep due to her inability to love him so thoroughly back.
And that leads us right back to the first scene which showed Veronica as the one in control. It's likely that Veronica feels -- even subconsciously -- that to open herself completely to Logan would be giving up control because she has yet to realize that the two are not mutually exclusive. Logan has shown -- in every relationship we've seen him in that was even a little more than sex (ie, all but Kendall) -- that he is not the one in charge and he's fine with that. Logan is comfortable enough in his own skin that he's more than willing to let his partner drive. He just wants to be in the front seat ... right next to her.
Sigh. And of course, this line led to Wendy's retort about lingerie which led to ...
Scene Ten: The Lingerie Shop
Oh, Veronica. Does it make sense that Veronica hates Madison oh so much more than Dick or any of the others who have caused her heartache? No. But hate isn't rational. I've always gotten the impression that Veronica didn't like Madison even before the 09ers turned against her and vice versa. As well, Madison is a girl. That seems like an obvious statement, but it's true. There's a pathology that alternately states that those of the same gender should stick together, but also that when it comes to contention between females, there is a viciousness that is generally not found in male/male combatants. And consistently, Madison has remained the one person throughout the entire series that Veronica has never not shown an incredible amount of loathing for. Ever. Again, does it make sense? No. But again, hate is irrational. So finding out that Logan's regrettable hook-up was with the one person who -- for whatever irrational reason -- has become the very symbol of all that she loathes in the universe, well, the look on her face says it all. Disbelief, a kick in the gut, it's the end of the world as we know it.
Personally, I hate the contrivance because nothing will convince me that Logan sleeping with Madison while he and Veronica were split up is, after all, anything but a contrivance. However, since Rob Thomas has decided to go there (grr), I'll give him this ... he did pick the one person I can believe Veronica being this thrown by Logan have been with. I mean, again, look at her face. That right there? Devastation. Oh, and sigh, the afore-mentioned breakthrough is pretty much on hold.
Fuck.
Sadly, as each scene played out in chronological order throughout this episode, it became clearer and clearer that the differences between Logan and Veronica and their approach to love are deep, indeed. And there really is only one way for them to work ... Veronica needs to open up and stay open. She needs to learn to just accept the happiness that is sitting RIGHT THERE in front of her and not question it, not fixate on the problems that are problems only because she allows them to be so. Only then, will these two crazy kids finally make it work.
Max (President Evil and Hi, Infidelity), aka Sir Cheats-a-lot, intercepts Veronica on her way to supporting her legal drug addiction at the Hearst coffee cart. She asks him how his business helping dunces (and ballers) cheat their way through college is going. Apparently, it's going so well he's hired a team to help him. Veronica snarks about the irony of his 'team' providing 'study sheets' for Ethics exams and he retorts that the irony has faded over time; just like the double-whammy-irony of *Veronica* calling someone else to task for capitalizing on those dubious ethics has faded over time for *her* audience.
Preliminaries aside, Max tells Veronica he has a case for her if it's true that she's a junior private investigator (is that like a junior office assistant? I'm sure she should have been promoted to management by now if that's the case). While Veronica goes into her usual whine about being "used" while being paid, Max gloriously rebuts that he'd be comfortable using her without paying her if that's an option. Sorry, no can do, Maximillan.
Here's the deal: He's in love with a girl who's getting married in a week. He doesn't know whom she's marrying or where she lives or even what her last name is. But he's in love, damn it: Hearts and flowers, stuffed teddy bears, doves flapping; *that* kind of love! And if Veronica doesn't find his Juliet before she gets married to the wrong man, Max's going to style his hair with a blow dryer under water.
Yeaaahhh ... so ... Apparently Logan Echolls has to compete for the Drama Queen Oscar this season (awarded annually to the man most dramatically whipped by love). Just when he thought his family connections would give him consecutive wins three years running!
Back from the credits, Max tells Veronica that he does know his true love's first name: Chelsea. Well, at least there's that. Oh, and the fact Chelsea's from Poughkeepsie. Chelsea, Poughkeepsie. She'd be a perfect subject for Wayne Brady to serenade on Whose Line is it Anyway,, no? But seriously ...
The depth of their connection based on so little factual information is so obvious to Veronica that she delicately asks Max if his lady love has any idea who *he* is. Max tells Veronica that they met at Comic-Con (and *no* there was no furry action in a Wookie suit), hit it off and had a big, deep and meaningful time in his hotel room (and, no, that is not a euphemism for mind-bending fraking). He wasn't Trekking at the convention; Dave Gibbons had a new graphic novel (the 'comic book' for those in denial about their inner geek) and he wanted to see it ... before heading over to the Battlestar Galactica pavilion when he could no longer resist the magnetic draw ... to Chelsea, yeah, not the hot Cylon babes. If he'd resisted he'd never have met the love of his life and bonded instantly over their shared opinion that the Cylon raiders look like Batman's car when it turns into a plane. So the moral is that to find true happiness we must embrace our inner BSG geek; it didn't steer Moe or Max wrong!
Wendy and Max might have originally bonded over Comic-Con stars but by the end of the day they were connecting deeply on their views about moral grayness, rather than making their own morals a little grayer by enjoying some quality fraking. What they had was *more* than sex. The next day Max drove her to the airport and she told him she left all her information on a note in his room since they were running so late. When he got back to his room housekeeping had been by and he couldn't find the note. Veronica seems positive that this overzealous housekeeper is nothing more than a patsy for Chelsea either failing to leave a note or jotting down the number to the nearest White Castle; but Max is positive that the note was there. He's positive because a few days ago Chelsea sent him a text message, cementing their epic pairing by vying for the Drama Queen Oscar herself: Since Max didn't contact her she's decided to not only get back together with an ex but marry him. So there!
Veronica doesn't understand what he wants her to do if Chelsea's getting married, especially when he has her number if she texted him. He says he's tried calling but some guy answers and claims never having heard of Chelsea. Veronica asks to see the text but unfortunately it was accidentally erased by his roommate; he does still have the number though.
While Max gets the phone number, Veronica practices her favorite sport: Sticking her nose in other people's business as she mills about their room. This time she finds that Max attended the Around the World party that Mac and Parker had dressed their room up for in Show Me The Monkey. Max explains that the photos were taken in the 'kinda lame' room that was supposed to be Canada, echoing many-a-fan reaction aboot the Canadian clichs, eh? Veronica pouts as Max points out his roommate Brian and his other friend, Fred (could these names be any more boring? Are his parents names Jack and Jill?) and then hands over Chelsea's cell number.
Veronica dials the number and 'some guy' answers, repeating (in a voice clearly TIRED of repeating himself over and over) that he doesn't know anyone named Chelsea. Veronica doesn't bother asking whether he's lying but asks about the area code of his number (845). He tells her it's a New York area code from Goshen around forty five miles away from Poughkeepsie. He denies that anyone borrowed his phone and anyway, he's nowhere near Goshen since he goes to college in California.
And it all suddenly makes sense.
Veronica asks the redundant question and he confirms he goes to this tiny, liberal arts college called Hearst that no one's ever heard of (except for all those people who read newspapers and wonder about the mortality rate of children matriculating any college with Veronica Mars on the student register). Veronica asks him to check his outbox for Chelsea's message to Max but the guy says he has no idea how to work his phone (come on, we've all felt that way). Veronica sighs and if you look closely -- yep, right there -- that's the last dregs of her patience slipping away. She asks if she can come check his messages herself and though that must sound strange and slightly stalkerish to this stranger, he apparently prefers the idea of being stalked by the sexy female voice over his line than the concept of being harassed with more phone calls by lovesick Max.
Veronica gives an impromptu lecture on how to sort through those confusing subfolders in one's message box; one can find messages sent from their phone in the 'sent' folder but it's easy to get confused. As she explains she opens Chelsea's message and reads out: "Max, I don't know why I haven't heard from you; I guess I was wrong about our night together ..." I'm guessing there was more to the message than that if Max found out about her wedding and it probably looked more like this anyway: 'max i dont no y i hvnt heard from u. i guess i was wrong bout our nite 2gthr.' It looks like it's the first time he's been aware of the message and he denies having sent it. The last time he went home was around Christmas. Veronica goes into her usual spiel when she gets a barely useful fact: Constructing a story featuring a slutty girl working over a poor deluded boy for his cell phone -- when one of her companion's co-workers in the Hearst cafeteria bakery walks out from the back with a tray of freshly baked muffins.
Veronica immediately recognizes the colleague as Max's roommate Brian and her spy-girl superpowers start to tingle. Aah, she's wearing the Uncanny Observation Skill Utility Belt this week. Brian smiles when she recognizes him and introduces himself, but Veronica says he looks more like a 'Chelsea.' Poor Brian; Cosmo said wearing makeup was cool now that metrosexual chic was fashionable; boys should make themselves pretty too.
Veronica goes back to see Max bearing a glass of information -- half full or half empty. Depending on your perspective. Veronica leads with the 'glass is half full' version because -- bah -- it's always good to go in soft before you give your sickeningly nave client the old one-two upper cut back into their noir reality. Half full: Chelsea's not getting married. Half empty: she's a hooker.
Brian and Fred came to a Dick-esque epiphany to 'help' their friend get out into the world of women: He'd have more confidence if he got laid. Simple formula for simple minds. Max decides he has a new plan and doesn't need Veronica any more: He's going to kill his friends so if she could just leave her bill ... Veronica seems to think they were trying to help him out in the only way they knew how but if she knew that Logan had been getting similar advice from Dick last week I doubt she'd be this sympathetic. Max doesn't like that argument either, since he doesn't want to be the next sexual charity case: Can't you see it now? Some Aaron Echolls wannabe narrating a somber commercial encouraging viewers to donate just one dollar a day so they too could help a horny, college virgin find his way to manhood.
No, he's not a charity case; he has standards. Max is still convinced what he felt with Chelsea was real and that his friends know him so well that they simply picked a girl that he could connect with. Veronica decides to pour a little more water out of his half-full glass by telling him that they didn't *find* his perfect girl, they *coached* her to be his perfect girl. They told her he was a Battlestar Galactica fan, put her in a 'So Say We All' shirt and even fed her the line of ultimate connection about the Cylon raiders looking like Batman's car.
Crushed, Max asks Veronica about his last shred of hope: The text message. She tells him it was sent by his friend when they were concerned that his pining was going to turn into a more permanent sexual hibernation. Brian decided to text him the message from his workmate's phone so they could break the illusion (or delusion) of Chelsea without 'crushing' him (and the accidental deletion probably wasn't so accidental either). Yes, because imagining the love of your life is marrying someone else is much less traumatizing than imagining she's single, if unsuitably employed unless she wants to star in Pretty Woman 2: The College Years.
Unlike what his friend's thought, Max's Chelsea bubble refuses to burst under the sharp point of her profession and he asks if Veronica can still find her. Veronica, being who she is, feels the need to reiterate that Chelsea will still be a prostitute. Max doesn't care that Chelsea is in a profession that, according to Veronica (and the how-to guidebook), trains women to lie to men par for the course; he's convinced that there are some feelings that can't be faked and he saw them in Chelsea when she cried while he dropped her at the airport. Veronica, still stuck on the fakes feelings for a living, is more apt to believe Chelsea was in tears at the thought of paying for a cab all the way back from the airport. Meow and hiss, Veronica dear. Having enough, Max stands to his feet and firmly tells Veronica to do her job: he wasn't paying her to find out what Chelsea did for a living, he was paying her to find Chelsea. So is she going to do it or not?! Duly chastened, Veronica silently concedes.
Brian and Fred are incredulous when Veronica informs them that Max still wants to find his beloved hooker in the cafeteria later on. If they could put their friend in a straight jacket for falling in love, he'd have been there long ago and now they're concerned that Veronica is indulging his manic heart palpitations by taking his case. Veronica sardonically informs them that Max thinks Chelsea is his 'one' true love, to which Brian replies that every boy thinks the first girl that touches where his bathing suit covers is the one. Actually, Chelsea did no naughty-place touching. They spent five hundred dollars each to have a professional talk with Max about his feelings; his sexuality might have been under closer inspection with a real psychologist. In short, Max and Chelsea talked and connected ... a situation that quickly gets labeled the worst moment of Brian's life (oh, to live such a pleasant life, hey Veronica?).
As the ubiquitous Chili's product placement looms ominously over their discussion, Brian checks that Veronica told Max that Chelsea was a hooker one more time. Veronica is on the same wavelength as Max's friends and thinks maybe seeing who Chelsea really is will finally burst his bubbly love. They team up with Veronica and show her how they found Chelsea in the first place: A hooker search engine (and no, it doesn't look like the same website that introduced Dick to the love of his life, Bambi Gasm of the Boston Gasms, in Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough). Veronica first searches for the name 'Chelsea' only to find a Hulk-like prostitute complete with Annette Benning hair-do. Interesting but oh-so-frightening for the children in the audience. Though this is the only Chelsea on the site, it's clearly the wrong person or Max is even stranger than she first assumed. Brian and Fred deny that's her but, being experts, explain to the frosh porn prowler that pros change their working name all the time.
For a moment Veronica boggles at the idea of searching through over 18,000 profiles to find Max's Chelsea (an understandably frightening prospect given the last photo). Luckily for her, Brian and Fred knew their Max's type and are expert online sex shoppers. They direct Veronica to search through the prostitutes by preference, describing Milla Jovovich with a B Cup and a fondness for role-playing. Veronica finds it all very Weird Science and that is probably an apt reference given the fact the boys in the film never got any action from their computer designed babe either.
Disturbingly, Veronica needs no further direction on how to describe Milla Jovovich with a B Cup and fondness for role-playing aside from the question on experience type: PSE (Porn Star Experience) or GFE (Girl Friend Experience). She wonders if there's a reality experience where the prostitute reminds the guy she's only there because he's paying her; meanwhile, I'm guessing she keys in 'Girl Friend Experience' for our dear boy, Max, otherwise Chelsea has a different idea of porn than I do. Her horny minions have served Veronica well, cutting down a batch of 18,000 sexual escorts to two blonde girls with their faces blurred out. Neither Brian or Fred is sure which blurry face belongs to the Chelsea they picked (not that the face would help given they probably weren't looking in that direction when they picked her).
Later while Veronica tries to engage her reluctant father in their daily Quipster Death Match, she hits the fatal blow by informing him she won't be home for dinner because she's going to meet a couple of hookers over at Logan's place. He plays along until she keeps going with her joke, soberly saying that they booked Fiona and Lisette on a school night to save on the off-peak hours. Keith looks unnerved enough to make me assume he must have already concluded Logan's salacious sexual appetite was too much for his prudish daughter and was now wondering if Veronica was finally sending in for reinforcements to give her a break from his constant needs. Ah, if only he was getting that much action ... alas, we're not on HBO.
Later at Logan's, Veronica's beau is doing his best to dodge Veronica's playful have-you-ever-shtupped-an-escort landmine and finally succeeds when Max arrives. There's a long, elongated pause after Veronica introduces the guys. If you hit the 'slow' button you can probably just make out the scroll of repressed one-liners streaming by Logan's head on the left side of your screen. But really, why bother to choose one line from a million when the smirk speaks a thousand quips? Max tells Logan he had no idea she was a hooker at the -- but no one's judging. Much.
A while later, Logan and Veronica (sitting miles away from Max like they fear coming down with hooker-love symptoms) are watching Sense and Sensibility with their new friend while they wait for his true love plus one. And while we're waiting on our escorts" Sense and Sensibility? Really? We have a Battlestar Galactica fan, a Southpark fan, and an Easy Rider fan and somehow no one changed the channel when they hit Sense and Sensibility?
Unable to handle watching Emma Thompson make moon eyes at a ruffled, blinky Hugh Grant, Max escapes to the bathroom per Logan's directions. While he's gone the first knock comes to the door. Logan nervously preens as he goes to answer the door, waiting for his girl's signal before welcoming Lisette into his place. Veronica stands back like she thinks the hooker will pounce if she makes any sudden movements (I'd be more worried about the girl pouncing on Logan because I know I would if given half the chance, free of charge). Lisette coyly greets Veronica and says that threesome kink will cost them a little extra even though she's up for anything (which makes me question my original 'girlfriend experience' assumption). Max rejoins the party just in time to stop the mnage a trois and make them look even kinkier for a second. But no, Lisette isn't Chelsea so Veronica tells Max to pay the girl and Lisette gets to leave without breaking a sweat (while Logan laments this despicable waste of a natural resource).
As she walks out the door (giggling with joy at her easiest trick ever), it's clear contestant number two has arrived. She introduces herself to Logan as 'Fiona,' but Max gasps out 'Chelsea' at first sight. "Chelsea" lights up when she recognizes Max -- first by voice, then by face. She runs toward him at the same time he runs to her, meeting in a crushing reuniting hug much like the one Logan and Veronica experienced last week in that exact place (minus the kissing). Logan looks to Veronica in surprise, then grins widely, his inner Austen-fan swooning at the sight of this 'happy ending' (yes, put twenty down on Logan as the S&S fan). Veronica returns her gaze to the embracing couple and frowns; so Plan A for puncturing Max's Chelsea-bubble was, excuse the pun, a complete bust. He looks just as smitten as before, hooker be damned.
'Chelsea' and Max snuggle, kiss and cuddle on Logan's couch while he gets absolutely no action from his non-PDA-loving girlfriend. Actually, he doesn't look too fond of the smacking sounds interfering with his Austen-time either; it's the scene where Willoughby crushes the heart out of Marianne in a public forum, okay? The smacking sounds are interfering with the necessary somber ambience! They remain stubbornly sappy so there's nothing for Logan and Veronica to do but start a sarcastic commentary tag-team for their own fun (*glares* hey, that's my job). Logan decides to ask the usual boring questions, where's 'Fiona' (or is it Chelsea?) from originally? There's no answer to that question because she's too busy deflecting her Fiona (and Chelsea) mask, unveiling herself as Wendy. Yeah, I can see why she had to change that name because it's only one step away from Mary on the purity scale.
Instead of taking their happy reunion elsewhere, they continue to snuggle and interrupt Logan and Veronica's alone time. (All the LoVe fans are collectively glaring at you snugglekittens, it's time to pack it up! If there's going to be making out on this couch it's going to be Logan/Veronica style or nothing at all!) Wendy finally apologizes for the gratuitous snuggling by explaining that she was so happy because she never thought she'd see Max again; she was misty-eyed and heartbroken when he dropped her off at the airport and she'd done a little self-examination knowing that if she'd made different choices she'd be able to be with this sweet guy, crying at her departure. Alas ...
Logan seems into the romance; Veronica? Not so much, though she is thawing. Before Veronica and Logan can start giggle-gushing over their own epic romance story (let me pause while I chuckle over that thought) the scene is interrupted by a monster from the depths of hell. Oh no, my mistake. That's just Madison. Veronica tells her that Dick isn't home (in other words 'frak off') but Madison stops to ask Logan what he's up to, then leaves lamely when she says she's going to do something that doesn't suck. Picking up on the venomous vibes radiating from Veronica as she slams the door behind Madison, Wendy rhetorically asks if they're friends. No, Veronica replies, Madison's pretty much the embodiment of all things Veronica loathes. And Veronica loathes a lot of things so maybe the monster from the depths of hell line wasn't overstepping the mark.
The next day Max texts Veronica and she heads on over to his dorm again. After spotting Wendy's sexy, purple lingerie on his floor she guesses that Max's love life has gone to infinity and beyond. But he's too antsy for quipping. He wants to hire her to make Wendy disappear -- get her a new identity, close her apartment etc. Excuse me "who does he think Veronica is exactly? She only does things like that when she's helping her boyfriends flee the country and that's not something any of us want to see repeated. When Veronica does her best impersonation of the Governor whispering 'you have been erased' to her clients over a cloned cellular, I'll start worrying about this show.
Veronica clearly has concerns too but they're about Max getting in too deep with a prostitute. She attempts to caution Max about how fast he's going with someone he barely knows, only conceding that Wendy seemed 'fond' of him. Her caution is postponed when Wendy opens the door behind Max and drops some of her things on the ground. Max tells Wendy that Veronica is going to help them (I must have missed when the agreement fairy visited) and Wendy gratefully misconstrues Veronica as a friend. She confides that it's easy to break in to the working girl business but not so easy to break out.
Veronica shifts uncomfortably and seems like she wants to escape the conversation until Wendy namedrops a particularly difficult client, namely a judge. Oooo! Ooo! Veronica's often repressed inner gossip queen bounces to the forefront, eyes gleaming with excitement! "Which one?" "Kramer." "No freakin' way!!" Veronica starts gushing her own dirt on Kramer about taking bribes. Wendy retorts that he's her kinkiest client -- no sex -- but he likes to take her to his office to have tickle fights while he walks around in her shoes.
(Huh. So this is girltalk in Veronica's land of noir. Interesting.)
Their moment of "bonding" is interrupted when Wendy looks across to Max and realizes he doesn't find it funny or the least bit interesting. Uncomfortable is the word for his face. She looks down, ashamed, and when Max realizes she's become aware of his feelings he covers by consoling her with the fact Kramer won't be stretching out her shoes any more if Veronica helps them. He reiterates to Veronica that he'll pay whatever it costs (he must be some kind of nerdy 09er to have all this easy money, maybe he would have been pals with Mac if she'd been a Sinclair ... ). Now that her little gossiping moment with Wendy has passed, Veronica's returned to her standard wary disposition.
Meanwhile, Logan answers a knock at his door all cheeky smiles until -- another hooker with a great big shiner on her right eye is revealed on the other side of the door. Logan's smile slips off his face as she disdainfully asks where Wendy is.
Wendy, Max and Veronica come over to Logan's to hear the ugly truth. Wendy's co-hooker, Nikki, applies an ice pack to her bruised face while she explains to Wendy that if she doesn't return to the fold with the grand she was supposed to be paid for servicing Max the night before, Mr Happy Fists is going to play the less fun version of connect the dots on Nikki. Max jumps in, refusing to let Wendy go back when he'd been about to help her escape. But the reality is: Helping Wendy escape means Nikki is going to get hurt. Wendy, clearly pained, eventually stops Max's protests in the firm realization that she has to go back. But they had a great night didn't they? Wendy calls it her best night ever and Max pulls the grand from his pocket (that was meant to be for Veronica's bill) and hands it over to Nikki as she pulls Wendy away from his life by her arm. Veronica nods wearily as she sees her pay float away from her on another impulsive gesture, while Logan looks crushed by the empathy coursing through his body for Wendy. Wendy is pulled from the room and Max is once again Peter in the Never Never without his Wendy-lady.
Logan's crushing sympathy for Max goes right out the window hours later when his libido is raging (damn Veronica and her scruples about PDAs) and Max is still using Logan's apartment as his Designated Suite of Emo. That's just not cool; Logan does enough emoing in his lounge for twenty Max's, this is tipping the scale into a Designated Suite of Clinical Depression category. Logan very unsympathetically decides if he's going to get the love of his life to touch where his bathing suit covers, he's going to have to kick EmoMax out on his ass. Veronica intercedes before Logan commences the ritual balcony toss (learned from Dick, not Cassidy) and goes out to gently nudge Max toward the door.
She quips tactlessly that Wendy and Max will always have Comic-Con ... Max sends her a displeased emo-frown back. Finally, in the face of his depression she bends completely, telling Max she was wrong about Wendy -- their connection was clearly genuine -- and it sucks to watch him lose her that way.
(Audience, put a timer on the whiplash of that concession ... and ... go!)
She finishes her speech and goes to get Max a glass of water but as she's walking toward the fictional water spout, she picks up the ice pack Nikki left behind on Logan's couch. Sidebar: There must be a kitchen somewhere since that's not so much an icepack as frozen vegetables but it can't be in the direction of the door (where she's walking) can it? I'm confused! Nonetheless it doesn't matter because Veronica freezes on the way when she catches a glimpse of the dishcloth covering the pack -- alarm bells are dinging!
(I counted the whiplash apology retraction at around ten seconds, how about you?)
Veronica has seen purple makeup on the dishcloth, clearly that bruise on the hooker's face was a fake and they were all duped by Nikki and Wendy to get another grand out of Max. He doesn't buy that Wendy screwed him over, "That's what she does, Max, she screws people for cash." And ... so much for seeing the genuine connection between EmoBoy and his Happy Hooker. Since that was Veronica's pay Wendy and Nikki snaffled, she's decided to take this personally and employ a revenge scheme 'on behalf of Max' in order to crush Wendy. Crush her like a teeny, tiny bug beneath a heel.
Even though the 'brilliant' revenge scheme Veronica comes up with to get revenge could do more to hurt her and Max than Wendy, Veronica is very excited about extorting the judge her father failed to get booted out of office. The plan is to extort a grand from the judge to get Max back his money and, simultaneously, take Wendy's 'best' client. Best? Really? I think Wendy would thank you for that one, Veronica. And one grand? Seriously? If you're going to extort a judge at least make it hurt a little.
Something is clearly wrong with the universe however when Logan is the one saying "Extortion is wrong and dangerous, Veronica, stop being so reckless" and she's the one going, "Yay! Revenge is FUN! You're not going to try and get me to stop are you, honey?!" Is anyone else confused by this picture? When did Logan become the mature, sensible one that doesn't like breaking the law? Oh, that's right. Logan has experience on the end of Veronica's yay! fun blackmail shtick so maybe he just can't go into this particular vengeful modus operandi with haha joy.
Max, not looking as thrilled at the prospect of extorting a judge and crushing Wendy as Veronica does, tries to tell her she doesn't have to do this. Read: *don't* do this. She says it's all cool and she'll use his cell so it can't be traced to her. Well, that's okay then. As long as Max is the only one that could be identified and bumped there's nothing to worry about! Veronica calls up the judge and tells him she knows a lot about him, no really, she does! Including his proclivity for high heels and tickling. I bet she only just resisted asking about which brand he preferred and how fluffy they were over the toes (hey, it's tickling and heels in one!). Clearly, Judge Kramer doesn't want his weekly date with a hooker getting out so he lets Veronica state her terms. She wants a grand delivered to a locker at the Neptune bus station, when he delivers the money he's to call Max's cell phone back with the locker number and combination in twenty-four hours.
Max finally realizes he's not welcome after all the fun extortion is done (really? Ya think they want to be alone? Just now?) and he decides to leave them to ... whatever it is they were trying to do while he moped around Logan's lounge. Veronica smiles as soon as Max is gone and uses her sex kitten voice to purr that she can't believe she had to extort a judge to get some quality alone time with Logan. He looks less than indulgent and still worried about the extortion as he whispers she doesn't have to work that hard. Sure she does, she says and they kiss. But if that peck was representative of the passion they were so impatient to eject Max from the apartment to explore, I am really confused. I am choosing to believe their's is a slow burning flame and we missed all the scorching bits that would have been on HBO. Clearly, we did as the next scene contains naked spooning and attempts at emotional intimacy.
The next morning Max calls Veronica with the news that Judge Kramer has dropped off the money and Veronica is more than welcome to be his accomplice or, you know, witness for when he's shot to death. Veronica enthusiastically replies that the pick up is the best part and she'll meet him in twenty minutes. When did blackmail become her favorite pastime? I mean, I know she got what she wanted out of Logan but it didn't look that fun back then ...
Veronica cautiously opens the locker (ah, caution in a cautionary tale, it's almost poetic) and finds ... no money. Where's Logan when you need someone who actually knows how to do the shocker symbol? Instead, Veronica finds a piece of paper inside. When she unfolds it she finds a clear and concise message: "GO OUTSIDE. GET IN THE LIMO. OR WENDY GETS HURT." They used angry caps so you know they mean now, bitch.
For people hell bent on crushing Wendy into tiny, tiny pieces they move toward the parking lot quick enough when she's threatened. Huh. I half expected Veronica to turn around and say, "well, that takes care of the crushing part of our vendetta, let's go back to Logan's for some super emo espresso and reminisce about my other successful revenge schemes." No. Apparently stealing a grand is not worth Wendy getting her assed physically kicked.
In the parking lot they find a man that could use Joe the Giant as a toothpick standing beside a black limousine. Ignore the Pulp Fiction rift, he doesn't look that much like a Stretch John Travolta thug in that suit. Max quickly climbs into the limo without hesitation but the very petite Veronica takes a moment to marvel at a real life man mountain, wondering how long it would take her to climb to his summit if she puts her hiking boots on. Then he snaps, "Get in!" and let's just say she's not feeling argumentative today.
The limo drives its occupants to a rain-drenched abandoned parking lot beside a line of railway tracks creating just enough noise pollution to disguise the sound of ... wait a minute, I think I've seen this film ... but no, no gun shot. Just Veronica rambling about how she's learned never to extort a judge who likes to wear fluffy pink heels (yes, I just decided they were fluffy and pink because the man likes to be TICKLED so I feel this elaboration is not too much of a fanwanky-stretch).
Inside the limo, Veronica continues to ramble about just wanting to get Max's money back while both her and Max look about as big as Thumbelina sitting next to the living proof that when your heart's full of love you can grow nine feet tall. When your heart's full of something anyway ... The big bouncer shaped black man holding Veronica's purse redirects Veronica's pathetic begging to the beautiful blonde Madame sitting beside him looking less than impressed by Veronica's high-pitched hysterical prattle. He's not her pimp; the lady beside him is her ..."agent".
Veronica surprisingly calms down at that correction (never mind the fact the two burly guys clearly are the Madame's muscle whether they give the orders or not). Meanwhile her bodyguard goes through Veronica's purse and pulls out her stun gun, remonstrating Veronica about whether the voltage is 'street legal' (never mind the fact they were just kidnapped while committing extortion against a Judge ... I don't think an illegal taser is high on Veronica's list of pending criminal charges). Wendy's agent, tells Happy to put the taser down (hee, Happy Fists, there's a hero for Comic-Con) while she explains to Veronica that she's the one that always gets called when one of her girls screws up. Max says Wendy didn't do anything; he was the one who called the judge. Eh ... no, the voice was female and even though he's probably the girl in the relationship that doesn't mean he's *that* emasculated yet. The Madame begs to differ, it was a female voice on the phone (she says while looking pointedly at Veronica). And Wendy has screwed up a lot: She fell in love with a client (Max doesn't hear much beyond this point), she tried to end her relationship without so much as a goodbye (yeah, that one hurts, can't you empathize with the pimp's pain, Veronica?) and she also told a client about the judge's predilections. I guess they must have some prostitute/client privilege so it really IS like seeing a psychologist.
While Max is still stuck on the 'fell for a client' portion of the conversation, the Madame continue to explain that Wendy owes her money for the braces and the tattoo removal and the housing and clothes she'd been using while under her Madame's 'care'. She says Wendy could work it off -- but Max interrupts that he'll pay the balance owing. Hell, he doesn't even ask the price even though he does blink when the Madame volunteers that the price of Wendy's freedom is a cool ten grand along with a promise that neither Veronica nor Max talk to one of her clients again. She ends the conversation with a cooler threat to make the bruises real next time if they break those conditions. Veronica tries to caution Max again but, geez, Veronica, it's a bit late for caution now, paying the prostitute is probably the only way you're getting out of the car without finding out why Mr. Happy Fists' fists are so happy.
As Veronica and Max walk toward his dorm she's still reeling in incredulity that he just handed over ten grand for a girl he has no guarantee will -- oh. As they round the corner they find the package has been safely delivered after being sent out into the world. Wendy and all her baggage (both literal and figurative) are waiting outside his door. He starts twitching with happy excitement and she opens her arms as he rushes forward to embrace her again. Well, darn it. How is Veronica supposed to stay cynical and suspicious about this situation when the damn hooker is so damn happy and in love? She's not more cynical about the world than a prostitute now is she? Oh dear.
Later in the cafeteria, Max waves to his girl from the lunch line while Wendy and Veronica smile in wait at one of the tables. Veronica whimsically comments on how smitten Max is, wondering how Wendy ever managed to make a boy fall that crazy in love with her. (Yes, it was an amusing comment from a LoVe point of view so let's quickly move on before I can't resist the power of the ranting smilie calling my name; we'll save those comments for Chemistry) Wendy explains that it's mostly dumb luck with a side order of interesting lingerie. Never underestimate the power of lingerie (yes, that purple set was quite nice actually).
Weevil interrupts their conversation with a supposedly funny story about the faculty lounge that we never hear when he recognizes 'Fiona.' In a very uncharacteristic move for Weevil (or maybe it is in character and he just doesn't get the social stigma against strippers), he publicly embarrasses Wendy for her sexual history by bringing up the fact he recognized her from when she used to dance at The Electric Lady where his friend used to bounce. When she denied it, he kept going, trying to prove he recognizes her by recalling her lovely dragon tattoo on her left ass cheek. Uncool, Weevs. Uncool on so many levels that I just have to think you don't find stripping wrong and don't understand why everyone else does because you didn't treat Carmen that way.
Veronica intercedes when Weevil doesn't find his clue in all his ogling, stressing that he's mistaken. Finally realizing that the blinking neon signs aren't just garish set directions or stripping lights but warnings along the lines of 'WRONG WAY, GO BACK' he retracts his conclusion and decides he must be mistaken. He apologizes to Wendy and says he'll see Veronica around, eyeballing the twitchy white dude that's come up behind him carrying two ice creams like he's Logan Echolls scraped off his shoe. An uncomfortable moment of silence and tension descends over the table and Veronica finally looks like she understands how hard it really is for Wendy to leave that life behind her unequivocally.
Later that night, Max is reading Ulysses while Wendy paints his toenails with clear nail polish. Awwwwww. And I mean that. I also want to see Veronica do that to Logan. But despite the joy that should come from getting the love of your life painting your toe nails while you read Joyce, Max seems unusually quiet. Wendy calls him on it and he claims that he just needs to get the novel read by Tuesday. She understands but now that they're talking ... he recalls that there was a dragon in her purse the day they met. He guesses she likes them and she only has time to confirm that before the door opens and Brian and Fred come in.
When they see her painting his toenails (though I'm sure it's more about her in general) they poorly conceal their sniggering laughter and warn Max about their RA Stuart Potter lurking around the hallways. They think he saw Wendy with her bags and since there's no co-ed slumber parties allowed in the dorm they're just giving their good buddy and his live-in hooker a friendly warning. She thanks Brian for letting her stay for a few days, perking up in a positive can-do way about getting a job and finding her own place as quick as possible. Brian says they dropped by because they may have a job for her. Max immediately sees where this is going but Wendy doesn't get it until Brian says his brother is getting married. He wants her to be the stripper at his bachelor party. "Hey, that's my girl you're talking to!" She timidly tells them she's retired and they insincerely apologize bashfully and say they'll find someone else. Once a hooker, always a hooker right?
Max wants to ask her a question and though she knows she'll probably regret it because the past will only hurt them, she lets him. (Sound familiar? Yeah, it's like that.) He asks if she really left the information at his room or if that promise had been a lie. It doesn't seem like the worst thing because she was a prostitute and she'd have no reason to assume he'd want to know her if he knew she was a prostitute. But it's clear on both their faces that this answer means everything. No, she didn't leave her information even though she wishes she had. Max, having expected that response, decides he needs to go for a walk to clear his head while Wendy stays in his room crying, and realizing ...
Max comes to see Veronica in the library to pay her. She bursts out with another tactful comment ('how's tricks?') before retracting it with a censored 'how's things?' They suck. Wendy's gone but at least she left a note this time. Veronica is pissed off that he bought Wendy out of prostitution and she was ungrateful enough to leave him anyway, "please tell me you don't want me to find her again." No, he agrees with Wendy and to explain to Veronica he reads out Wendy's note:
- "The day we met was one of the best days of my life. I fell for you that day but you didn't know what I was then and now you do. And it shows in the way you look at me; it shows in the way you touch me but I'll never regret it. You made me realize what I was missing. Love Wendy."
And that's how this story ends: Veronica consoling Max over losing the love of his life in the whitewash of stereotypes and his own instinctive moral cringe, while Wendy returned to her life as a prostitute. But surely not all romances can end this tragically? Surely some couples can get over sordid mistakes from the past when they love each other? ... Right?
- Just last week we saw Veronica sullenly eating alone (sans boyfriend) in the food court. But after their passionate (and very VERY much mutual) reunion, I'd say Veronica's more than a little tickled to have Logan back in her life. The two are sitting together in a comfortable silence, Veronica studying from her text, when Logan is about to eat one of his fries. Veronica calmly asks him if he intends to eat it, and he replies in the affirmative. She tells him that if he's just eating it to meet society's expectations (what, of not wasting cold, nasty French fries?), then she knows someone who'd be willing to take it off his hands. Logan obediently feeds it to her -- hey, not without a little ketchup first! -- and she confidently says, "You're welcome." A little bossy? More ... gently commanding. And hey! It's a small way of showing him that she likes having him around. Logan grabs his books and stands to give her his copy of The Lampoon, which she hasn't read yet. He leans down to kiss her (aww!) and says he's off to Astronomy. Now, I know Logan's been known to stargaze from time to time ...
... but I'm betting that Hearst has a general education requirement for science, and Logan's taking the easy route to fulfilling it. Because lets face it: Organic Chem is a bitch to pass.
The next evening, Logan and Veronica bring burgers back to the suite and the banter is light as Logan asks her if they should have gotten more food for the hookers. Veronica corrects him -- they prefer to be called "escorts" -- and then curiously asks him if hes ever been with one. (Uh, Veronica? Logan had sex with
After Max leaves the next evening, Veronica and Logan finally have some time to themselves. It's about damn time. The two of them are in bed, engaging in some post-coital spooning, which she muses would cost him if she were a hooker. This is her not-so-sly way of bringing up the hooker issue again. Well, Logan ... at least she's yet to peruse your bank statements, looking for escort services. You're getting off easy here. He replies that he'd gladly pay, which is, yeah, really romantic. One day, Logan and Veronica will have a normal conversation. Until then ... Veronica turns to face him and asks him seriously if he's ever been with a hooker. Logan doesn't understand why it matters, but she reasons that this is their opportunity to tell all, and finally be intimate with one another. Besides, she says, secrets tend to surface whenever she's around, anyway, so why not just get it all out in the open now? Logan reluctantly agrees to answer all her questions, and of course the first thing she asks him is whether or not he's slept with a hooker. He admits that he never has, and Veronica grins and cutely bites her thumb in relief. Logan chuckles at her, happy that she's happy. He asks her the same question and she frowns and says "no," but her tone of voice says "duh!"
It's then Veronica's turn and she decides to bring up Logan and Mercer's Mexican adventure, which kind of ticks him off because he assumes she wants to know if he cheated on her while there. So much for the trust thing. But she presses further because she just wants to know how Mercer was able to drive back to Neptune, commit a rape, and then return to Mexico without Logan knowing. Hmm, I smell a retcon ... Logan sighs and admits that he must have passed out. Maybe Mercer drugged him, he doesn't know. Veronica drops the subject and Logan tells her that she can have his question.
Veronica asks him if he was with anyone while they were broken up, and he reminds her about that landmine he's trying to tiptoe around. But knowing that a) if he refuses to answer the question, she'll assume the answer is "yes" and b) if he lies, she'll probably know, so Logan just admits that he fooled around with some horrible girl that meant nothing to him. Veronica nods and shifts to stare at the ceiling. Logan quips that, yeah, this is really bringing them so much closer. She doesn't say anything. She's not angry, just ... I think Veronica is trying very hard here not to judge him, and she does succeed, even if she is disappointed by his answer. Veronica doesn't believe in meaningless sex and she has every right not to, but they were broken up. As Logan has said before, when they're together, they have to accept each other for what they are. Logan eventually breaks the silence and asks her if she still loves him. I wish he'd instead asked "Do you still want to be with me?" or "Can you understand this?" because even if she does love him, it shouldn't always be that he's pulling a yes/no answer out of her. But even so, Veronica's slow smile and gentle "yes" here is music to our ears. No tearful "yeah" this time, just an honest "yes." Logan turns to her with relief and love in his eyes and kisses her.
But we know from experience that happiness for Logan and Veronica are usually just the calm before the storm. Veronica might not have picked up on the weirdness ('cause there was definitely weirdness, people, where there wasn't supposed to be) between Logan and Madison the other night, but it's about to come back and bite her in the ass. Veronica's decided to take Wendy's advice to never underestimate the power of lingerie and make more of an effort to please her man.
She's picked out a few teddies from the lingerie shop and is about to pay for them when she hears Madison's voice requesting some thigh-high boots with the seams up the back. Veronica says she thought she saw some between the pasties and the edible underwear. Madison proceeds to put down Veronica for choosing lingerie from the sale rack, and laments (in an ungenuine way ... bitch) that it's almost a waste for her to spend so much money on lingerie, if it's just going to be ripped right off her. Uh, TMI, Madison. Too. Much. Information. Veronica informs her that if she's trying to win Dick back, she doubts she has to try that hard. Madison scoffs at the idea of Dick. No, she and Logan hooked up in Aspen over the holidays, and she thought he'd have some free time while she in town. Veronica takes this in, trying to remain composed in front of Madison, but she's obviously crushed. Madison leaves, but not without first informing Veronica that Logan isn't a fan of the one-pieces. Veronica, looking rather ill, tries to hold back the tears. And most likely the bile, too.
- Logan is taking Astronomy.
- Hearst has an outdoor eating area with a coffee bar. A welcomed change in scenery from the dark and overly neon cafeteria, if you ask me.
- Max, his roommate Brian, and friend Fred went to the around-the-world party and got their photo taken in Mac and Parker's dorm. They thought their idea of Canada was lame.
- Chelsea's profile reveals that she is in fact a dude from Tierrasanta, San Diego. Chelsea is with the agency Forbidden Fruitz and is available upon request (mobile is 619-555-0175). Her services are escort, massage, and role playing (clearly).
- Logan and Veronica are watching Sense and Sensibility with Max and Wendy. Veronica really likes those Jane Austen adaptations, huh?
- The license plate number on Madame's limo is WER9878.
- Having been finger fed delicious french fries for lunch by her adorable boyfriend, Veronica lounges happily in the Hearst food court enjoying the hilarity of The Lampoon. It seems that our oh-so-PC friends at the Lampoon were the victims of a rather vicious egging the night after the Dean reinstated the Greeks. The interior article of the special "Egged!" edition details the sites of "Huevosnacht" -- The Lampoon offices, the Pi Sig house, and the statue of the university's illustrious founder, William Randolph Hearst. As she's pondering the hilarity of The Lampoon getting egged right along with the Pi Sigs for their part in adding fuel to the fire lit by Mercer and Moe's rape spree across campus, Weevil plops himself down at the table for a little ketchup and catch up with his favorite girl detective. Veronica shares the egg-cellent escapades of persons unknown (cough*LillithHouse*cough) while Weevil marvels over the stupidity of the kind of people that express anger and agression through egging -- for example, the huevos launched at the Dean's office window during the Huevosnacht rampage -- because it isn't like the Dean's gonna clean it up himself! So who are they really punishing here?
Veronica latches onto his comment about the Dean's window because there's no mention of it in this special all eggs edition of The Lampoon. Weevil confirms that the Dean got his share of yolks and whites the same night as the other attacks and wonders if perhaps it wasn't included in their riotous take on the eggings because they couldn't figure out a tasteful way to make it funny -- seeing as how, you know, the Dean died that night. Weevil mourns the Dean's passing, commenting again what a shame it was to lose a cool dude like that. So say we all, Weevs.
Meanwhile over at the Neptune Sheriff's Department, Keith is trying to help Sachs figure out where the hell the file he requested has disappeared to considering he completed the necessary form over a week ago. C'mon Keith, get real! I'm surprised it didn't take them a month to find what you were looking for at that painfully disorganized monument to ineptitude. Sacks cries "Eureka!" minutes later (although not literally) when he finds the file in question misfiled under the letter "D" and passes it to the proficient P.I. On his way out, Keith comes face to face with Lamb, a.k.a. ineptitude's poster child. Sachs shares with his boss that Keith came to obtain a copy of Cyrus O'Dell's file. Through his trademark snide sneer, Lamb reminds Keith that he's no longer Sheriff, which is good, because I'm sure Keith's forgotten the humiliation of being kicked out of office so that YOU could run the department into the ground, you douchebag. Keith, his usually suave self, says that he's merely a concerned citizen. Lamb snarks that Keith's always "looking for a crime where there isn't one" by which I can only assume he means "looking for a way to solve a crime that I've completely and utterly fubar'd." I mean, considering how good his track record's been with major cases, particularly murders, versus how good Keith's track record is, there's only one explanation: The man is utterly and completely delusional. Anyway, Lamb suggests that Keith find a new hobby, but Keith's not interested in Lamb's advice because he finds solving a mystery very rewarding. With a twinkle in his eye and barely contained glee, Keith suggests that Lamb try it sometime. Lamb sneers sarcastically that he'll get right on that as Keith walks away. But as his expression slowly fades from cocky to bewildered, you can see that it finally dawns on him that SHIT! Solving crimes is what he's supposed to be doing! Dammit! Why does being Sheriff have to be so hard and brain-draining? Isn't it enough that he looks pretty?
The following afternoon Veronica arrives home desperate to engage in a little witty father-daughter banner with Papa Bear, but alas, Papa seems to have lost his wit. Keith appears troubled and despondent and I can only assume the reason for that is housed in the manila folder dangling from his hand. Veronica demands amusement so Keith obliges with a lackluster song telling her that he's finally got the police report on the Dean's suicide. Veronica critiques that the tune needs work and I can only agree. Heading for sustenance in the kitchen, Veronica wonders if the report says anything about the egging Weevil mentioned to her. It seems not, but Keith is less than surprised that detail was missing considering the rest of the report looks like it might as well have been written by a tenth grade devotee of the Headbanger's Ball. Veronica shares deets on the Lillith chicks, including her former editor Nish, and how they had a massive grudge against the Dean. She tells him of Nish's vow for revenge after her impromptu firing and how the girls got eggspastic on several prime Hearst locales, including the Dean's office, on the night of his suicide.
Keith is intrigued by this development and wonders if Veronica might be persuaded to chat the gals up. Veronica aptly notes that she's probably dipped into that well one (or maybe ten) too many times and the Lillith chicks are definitely not her biggest fans. Which means? Keith might have to handle this one on his own. However, she cautions him that if he decides to go undercover as a student he can't do the Daniel Boone jacket or peace signs because the times, they have a-changed.
The next morning Veronica spies her father preening in front of the mirror in his old police uniform, and I have to say, the old man looks good. Veronica, understandably, wonders what he's doing. Keith merely grins and informs her that he's getting ready for work. Veronica comments that he's missing something and disappears into the hallway, returning moments later with a portable boom box and some words of wisdom: After ripping off the tear-away pants, the pelvis thrust should be towards the bachelorette because after all, it is her special day. *snort! * And also, ewwwwwww. Shrugging off his wise-ass daughter's commentary, Keith pays an *ahem* "official" visit to Claire and Fern to discuss the night of the Dean's suicide. He tells them that he's following up on some details about the night Dean O'Dell died. He brings up the egging of the Dean's office and Fern goes all bitchy-defensive with the "oh, like that's a crime?" Keith responds to the brain trust, of course, that it always has been. Seriously -- didn't they think it would fall under the heading of something like ....vandalism? Or how about destruction of private property?
Anyway, Keith goes on to tell the girls that he's pretty certain they are responsible for the egging, despite their less-than-convincing denials, which means that they were in the vicinity while holding a nasty grudge the night he died. Claire tries to cover, but much like bees and dogs, Keith can smell her fear. He asks her to define for him who "we" included on the night in question, to which she replies that it was her, Fern and Nish. Fern tries to cover a little, but instead ends up shoving her Birkenstock-shod foot into her mouth when she comments that Nish wasn't with them when they egged the Dean's office. So where was she? Keith's just dying to know. He goes all hard-core cop on them but before he can really lay the heavy intimidation tactics on him, Nish appears from the back of the apartment. And being former editor of the campus paper, she recognizes him.
Nish tells the girls that Keith isn't a police officer anymore before trying to figure out what the heck he's doing in her apartment. At this point he's got nothing to lose, so he asks Nish where she was when her friends were egging the Dean's office. First she drags out her standard dose of superior bitchiness and reminds Keith that she doesn't have to tell him anything, and then reminds him that his little "role playing" game is also illegal. Anyway, she relents because she's got nothing to hide. She tells Keith that she was over egging the Dean's precious Volvo. This comes as a surprise to Keith, and Fran's reveal that Keith thinks the Dean was murdered comes as a surprise to her.
Back at chez Mars, Keith shares a rather disturbing discover with his daughter dearest. According to Nish, she very specifically egged the Dean's Volvo. The problem? According to the police report the Dean drove the mini van to work that day -- it was the car of his found in the parking lot the day after his death. Veronica immediately jumps to the "Nish is lying" theory, but Keith clearly wonders if something more sinister is at work. What if the Volvo was there that night? It was the car Mindy was driving on the day in question -- perhaps she paid her hubby a visit. Now Veronica's seeing where he's going and wonders aloud why his client would have failed to mention that visit to him. Sadly, Keith's as clueless as to the rest of us what this development means for the investigation.
"Never The Same Again" (Moonlight Towers)
Scene: Veronica meets perhaps the most technology-challenged college student on the planet. Unaware of how to delete messages off a cell phone? Really?
"Yeah!" (The Golden Dogs)
Scene: One redlight. Two cars. Two sheriffs. One idiot. Guess which is the real deal?
"A Thousand Kisses Deep" (Leonard Cohen)
Scene: I'm sorry, my brain still hasn't quite gotten past naked Logan. There was a bed and Veronica and Logan in the bed. And talk of hookers and history. Landmines and love. And ooh yeah, Logan was naked.
"Wheels" (Mark Lanegan)
Scene: Max is studying; Wendy is painting his toenails ... it's a moment of (slightly odd) bliss and then his jackass friends spoil the mood. Losers.
LoVe Lines
Veronica: You gonna eat that?
Logan: This? (Holds up the fry in question.)
Veronica: Yeah. That fry in particular.
Logan: That was the plan.
Veronica: (As Logan continues to examine the fry.) I'm just saying ... if you weren't, or if you were just gonna consume it out of obligation or to meet someone else's expectations, I know someone who might be willing to take it off your hands. (Logan relents and starts to feed her.) Maybe add a little ketchup? Make it worth a girl's while. (Logan adds ketchup and feeds her the fry and Veronica speaks in a sing-song voice.) You're welcome.
Logan: Well, I'm off to astronomy. Did you see the Lampoon yet?
Veronica: Uh-uh.
Logan: (Logan walks around to Veronica, kisses her, and hands her the paper.) Enjoy.
Logan: (Taking out sandwiches.) Should we have gotten more for the hookers?
Veronica: As I understand it, they prefer "escorts."
Veronica: So ... have you ever been with one?
Logan: (Stops eating.) An escort?
Veronica: Yeah.
Logan: Do we really wanna go there?
Veronica: I guess we don't have to now.
Logan: No, that wasn't me answering the question.
Veronica: Kinda was.
Logan: No it wasn't. That was me knowing there's a landmine and trying to figure out where to put my foot.
Veronica: Well, I guess you picked your spot. (Logan raises eyebrows). Look, why not dispel any romantic notions. If we see each other, warts and all, and still like each other, that's a real connection.
Logan: Well, maybe I enjoy my romantic notions. Maybe I don't care to see any warts, yours or mine. (Grins, almost embarrassed.) Oh see you're smiling, so I think it's all fun and safe but it's a slippery slope from "have you ever been" to "how many" and "how often."
Veronica: So you've been with multiple hookers on several occasions.
Logan: (Turns sideways.) I'm not having this conversation with you.
Max: That's not her.
Veronica: Sorry, Lissa. Looks like we're gonna have to reschedule. Pay the girl, Max.
Logan: Well, if we're paying her anyway ...
Veronica: (Cuts him off with a cranky face that says "could you not go there?") Honey?
Logan: (to Veronica as the the two of them watch Max and Wendy making out on the far end of the couch.) This is nice. We should hang out with your friends more.
Veronica: (On the phone.) Got it, thanks. (After hanging up the phone, holding up the notepad.) Judge High Heels' home phone.
Logan: This is a bad idea.
Veronica: It's blackmail. It's the go-to idea. In case of emergency, break glass or blackmail.
Logan: Excuse me if I can't get jazzed about my girlfriend extorting a judge.
Veronica: Look, I'm not doing a back handspring about it either, but I'm getting Max's thousand dollars back and I'm taking away Wendy's best client. It works on so many levels.
Veronica: (Walking over to Logan and putting her arms around his neck.) I can't believe I had to blackmail a judge just to get some alone time with you.
Logan: You really don't have to work that hard.
Veronica: Sure I do. (They kiss.)
Veronica: (In bed with Logan post-coital.) You know if I were a hooker, this snuggle would cost you.
Logan: I'll gladly pay.
Veronica: Really?
Logan: For this? Cash money.
Veronica: But seriously, folks ... (She rolls over to face Logan.) Have you?
Logan: What, ever been with a hooker? (Off Veronica's nod.) Why does it matter?
Veronica: I just want to know. I assume the answer is yes. Look at it as an opportunity for me to show you how cool I can be. Hooker? Who cares?
Logan: Here's your chance to be cool. Stop asking.
Veronica: I just want to get to a place with you where we can be really ... intimate.
Logan: That's what the female Praying Mantis says before she bites the male's head off.
Veronica: I'm just saying, buried secrets tend to surface when I'm around.
Logan: Maybe that's because of all the digging, huh? (Reaching out, he cups her face.)
Veronica: I'm giving you the chance to come clean. You tell all. I tell all. Go from there.
Logan: Fine. Ask away. Ask anything you want.
Veronica: Have you ever been with a hooker?
Logan: No.
Veronica: (Very pleased.) You want to ask me anything?
Logan: Have you ever been with a hooker?
Veronica: No.
Logan: No.
Veronica: The night you were in Mexico with Mercer ...
Logan: Are you kidding me? (He rolls over onto his back.)
Veronica: How was he able to get back to Neptune, commit a rape, and return to Mexico without you knowing?
Logan: Uh ... I must have passed out. It felt like a couple of minutes, but it could have been hours. Or maybe he drugged me or something. (He turns to face Veronica.)
Veronica: Your question.
Logan: You can have my turn.
Veronica: Were you with anyone while we were broken up?
Logan: Land mine. (Veronica's face falls.) I fooled around with the horrible girl who meant less than nothing to me, and I couldn't regret it more. (Veronica rolls onto her back.) Thinking of it makes me ill. (Logan rolls away from Veronica and onto his back.) So, there. Presto, intimacy. (He swallows, looking like he wants to cry.) You still love me?
Veronica: (After a long pause, she smiles.) Yes. (They kiss.)
Veronica Mars Voiceover: I heard it from a pro: Lingerie. Maybe I should get into the spirit of doing things normal girlfriends do; I should make more of an effort to please my man. First comes sexy under things ...
Quotable Quotes
Weevil: I can't believe how dumb these people are, you know? They're mad at the dean so they egg his window. Like he's the one who has to clean it up.
Lamb: Always looking for a crime where there isn't one. I think you need a new hobby, Keith,
Keith: Oh, I don't know. I find solving an investigation very relaxing. You should give it a try sometime.
Lamb: Yeah, yeah, I'll get right on that.
Veronica: Question: Does your team provide study guides for ethics exams?
Max: Everyday. Yeah, the irony has kind of faded over time.
Veronica: So, about the one that got away. She's was dressed as a Cylon and you only knew her as "Six," right?
Max: Then we started talking about our crappy relationships with our parents and Chuck Klosterman and moral grayness --
Veronica: And how when you see a plastic bag flying around, you think there's so much beauty in the world you can't take it?
Max: You get the picture.
Veronica: I do. Connection, higher plane ... then you frakked.
Max: (About the picture of him and his roommates in Mac & Parker's room.) I think that room was supposed to be Canada, but it was kind of lame.
Veronica: Hmm.
Brian: Hot stuff coming through ... and he's carrying a tray of muffins.
Veronica: Brian and Fred, as demented as this sounds, thought you'd have more confidence with girls if you ... lost your virginity.
Max: (Gaping fish mouth face of speechless incredulit.y) I'm gonna go kill my friends now so ... if you could just leave me a bill.
Fred: He wants you to track her down? You can't do this, I mean you're just fueling his fire -- he's obsessed!
Veronica: He thinks she's the one.
Brian: She's the first girl to touch where his bathing suit covers. Of course he thinks she's the one.
Veronica: Actually, she's not.
Brian: He wasn't a virgin?
Fred: We spent $500 each on a hooker and he wasn't a virgin.
Veronica: No, you spent $500 each and he's still a virgin.
Brian: Okay, she better've done like some crazy circus act.
Veronica: They talked and connected.
Brian: (Considers for a second.) This is the worst moment of my life.
Veronica: A hooker search engine. What will you boys come up with next?
Veronica: Great! There are only 18,731 escorts listed on the site. Much as I'd like to peruse their pages individually ...
Brian: (Interrupts) Try doing the search by preference. (Veronica looks puzzled.) You know, hair color, height, bondage preferences.
Veronica: You know Max's preference?
Fred: That's easy. We just described Milla Jovovich with a B-cup.
Brian: And found one into role play.
Veronica: (Somewhat stupefied.) How very Weird Science.
Veronica: (Perusing the website options.) Its like a Zagat guide for hookers! How did people find sex before there was an internet?
Veronica: What's "GFE?"
Brian: "Girlfriend Experience."
Veronica: (Incredulous.) She has to be an experienced girlfriend?
Brian: It's the type of experience you want to have. If you want it to be like she's your girlfriend, it's a GFE. Girlfriend Experience. But if you want to act like you're in a porn, it's a PSE. (Nodding in mutual male satisfaction at Fred.) Porn Star Experience.
Veronica:Is there a "Reality Experience" where she reminds the guy she's only there because he's paying her?
Veronica: From 18,000 down to 2. Your eye for detail has served us well, young Jedi's.
Veronica: (Shuts door loudly with faux irritation.) I come home after a hard day at work and there you are -- lounging with your bon-bon's and your Harper's Bazaar. (Keith looks despondent.) There better be some freshly pressed shirts in my closet or so help me. (Keith doesn't seem inclined to respond.) What -- you got nothin'?!?
Keith: Mm. Maybe I'm not in the mood.
Veronica: Amuse me, damn it! Amuse me now!
Keith: (Takes a deep breath before putting on a happy face and jazz hands and starts to sing.) I ... finally got the police report on the Dean's su-i-cide!!!
Veronica: That needs work.
Veronica: Did the report say anything about the Dean's office getting egged?
Keith: Nope. But then again it looks like it was done by a 10th grader. I swear, it might as well have heavy metal band's logos sketched in the margins.
Veronica: They went on an egging spree the night of his suicide protesting the reinstatement of the Greeks.
Keith: Do you mind talking to them?
Veronica: Yeah, I think I've dipped into that well one too many times. They're not big Veronica fans. I think you're probably gonna have to handle this one yourself. (Pauses and grins.) If you go under cover as a student, no Daniel Boone jackets, no peace signs -- the times, they have a-changed.
Keith: Will you be home for dinner?
Veronica: No, I'm meeting two hookers over at Logan's later.
Keith: On a school night?
Veronica: (Duh face.) Off-peak hours -- save a few bucks.
Keith: You're not really ...
Veronica: Fiona and Lisette. They're just a couple of gals puttin' themselves through college. Man! Stop bringin' me down with your bourgeois hang-ups!
Veronica: (To the lip-locked Max and Wendy.) You guys need a refill ... or a room?
Veronica: (Opening the door to the suite.) Madison.
Madison: Oh. It's you. So, are you and Logan, like, dating again, or are you hotel staff?
Veronica: (Letting Madison in.) Did somebody order a PSE?
Wendy: (About Madison.) Friend of yours?
Veronica: No, Madison is pretty much the physical embodiment of all things I loathe. (To Logan.) If Dick starts dating her again, you're gonna need to get a different roommate.
Veronica: From where I stand, Wendy's the idiot. And now we must crush her. (Ponderingly.) How to make the happy hooker not so happy.
Happy: (Pull's Veronica's taser out of her bag and turns it on.) I don't think this is street legal. What's the voltage on this?
Madame: Put it down, Happy.
Veronica: Wait, there really is a Mr. Happy Fists? I thought that was just colorful language.
Max: (Shocked.) I'm sorry. Did you say she fell for a client?
Madame: She asked out. But there's a problem, you see. Wendy owes me money. Braces aren't cheap. Tattoo removal isn't cheap. Clothes and housing aren't cheap. Now, she could work it off --
Max: I'll pay.
Veronica: (She and Max walk down the hall to his dorm room.) You just handed over a hundred $100 bills.
Max: Yeah, I was there.
Veronica: (Regarding Max.) That boy is smitten.
Wendy: Yeah, isn't he great?
Veronica: Yeah, pretty great. So what is the secret to making a guy fall for you like that?
Wendy: Dumb luck ... and interesting lingerie. Never underestimate the power of lingerie.
Veronica: (Keith walks into her room carrying the suicide report.) Man, you just love that report.
Max: (To Wendy.) There was a dragon in your purse the first time we met. I guess you're a fan of dragons ...
Brian: I might actually know of a job.
Wendy: Really?
Fred: Yeah, that's what we came to see you about.
Brian: My older brother is getting married next Saturday and the guy organizing his bachelor party has this really uptight wife so they didn't book a stripper. We're scrambling to get someone. It should be a good gig, they're all, like, lawyers!
Max: Hey dudes, that's my girl you're talking to!
Wendy: I'm retired actually.
Max: You mind if I ask you a question?
Wendy: Probably, but go ahead.
Max: When I dropped you off at the airport and you said you left all your information back at the hotel, I got back and the room was clean. So ... I guess my question is, did you really leave it for me? Was it really there?
Wendy: (After a long pause she shakes her head tearfully.) No ... but I really wish I left it.
Veronica: You bought her out of prostitution and she left you? Please tell me you don't want me to find her again.
Max: No! No, I think she may be right. She said uh ... (taking out a letter from his back pocket) what'd she say? She said uh ... "The day we met was one of the best days of my life. I fell for you that day but you didn't know what I was then and now you do. And it shows in the way you look at me, and it shows in the way you touch me but I'll never regret it. You showed me what I was missing. Love Wendy."
Veronica: Ten thousand is a lot to pay for a life lesson.
Madison: You know, it's kind of smart of you to raid the sale rack like that. It's almost a waste for me to spend all this money on something that'll be ripped right off of me.
Logan: If you're trying to get Dick back, I don't think you have to work that hard. Seriously. A hefty bag and some duct tape and you'd be good to go.
Madison: Dick? Please.
Veronica: You came over, I figured ...
Madison: Oh! Logan and I hooked up in Aspen over the holidays. I guess you two were split, huh? I was in town, I thought he might have some free time but, oh well! Oh, and uh, as a friend, (looking at Veronica and her purchases like she's crazy) he's not so big on the one piece numbers.
Poughkeepsie, Tramps & Thieves (Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves) ... (Referenced by the episode title.)
An extremely catchy and pretty deep song by Cher, "Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves" (also spelt as "Gypsieys, Tramps & Thieves"), was released in 1971 and was the first number one hit by the singer as a solo artist. It hit the number one spot on the Billboard charts on November 6, 1971.
The lyrics:
- I was born in the wagon of a travellin' show
My mama used to dance for the money they'd throw
Papa would do whatever he could
Preach a little gospel, sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good
Chorus: Gypsys, tramps, and thieves
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us Gypsys, tramps, and thieves
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down
Picked up a boy just south of Mobile
Gave him a ride, filled him with a hot meal
I was sixteen, he was twenty-one
Rode with us to Memphis
And papa woulda shot him if he knew what he'd done
Chorus
I never had schoolin' but he taught me well
With his smooth southern style
Three months later I'm a gal in trouble
And I haven't seen him for a while, uh-huh
I haven't seen him for a while, uh-huh
She was born in the wagon of a travellin' show
Her mama had to dance for the money they'd throw
Grandpa'd do whatever he could
Preach a little gospel, sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good
Chorus
Sir Lancelot (also sometimes known as Lancelot du Lac, or Lancelot of the Lake, and occasionally also Launcelot) is one of the Knights of King Arthur's famed Round Table. In most of the French prose romances and works, he is characterized as the greatest and most trusted of Arthur's knights, and plays a part in many of Arthur's victories -- but Arthur's eventual downfall is also brought about in part by Lancelot, whose affair with Arthur's wife Guinevere destroys the unity of Arthur's court.
Lancelot is a tremendously popular character, and has been the subject of many poems, stories, plays, and films in various incarnations of the Arthurian cycle of romances. For most readers (and/or moviegoers) no other knight in King Arthur's court is nearly as well known as Sir Lancelot. He is generally thought of as the most valiant member of that brotherhood and the secret lover of Arthur's beloved Queen Guenivere. Interestingly enough, Lancelot is not actually an original member of the cycle, and the development of his story is still a source of considerable disagreement between scholars.
In the movies, Lancelot has been portrayed by many fine actors, most notably: Robert Taylor in 1953's Knights of The Round Table, by Richard Gere in 1995's First Knight (with Sean Connery as a kick ass King Arthur in an otherwise unintentionally amusing film), and by John Cleese in 1974's iconic comedy Monty Python and The Holy Grail. The latter is perhaps the best, if not the most accurate, version of this well-known character.
Cleese as Lancelot in Monty Python
and The Holy Grail.
In Monty Python, Cleese's Lancelot is a marvelously violent knight known to attack castle walls, farm animals, wedding guests, and flowers -- who might also be gay. In the film, he vehemently denies this proclivity. However in 2005's Spamalot!(the musical version of the film), Lancelot does, in fact, embrace his homosexuality at the end of the quest.
Poughkeepsie, New York ... (Referenced by Max as Chelsea/Wendy's hometown.)
As it turns out, there are two Poughkeepsie's in New York state: Poughkeepsie (the city) and The Town of Poughkeepsie. Although the two are neighbors (and are often viewed as one place), the population of the Town of Poughkeepsie is roughly double that of the city. I suspect that Wendy was referring to the city, which is the county seat of Dutchess County, located in the Hudson River Valley roughly midway between New York City and Albany. The city's name is derived from a Native American word (roughly U-puku-ipi-sing), meaning "reed hut by the water" or "campsite by small water," referring to a spring or stream feeding into the Hudson River. Bordered on the west by the Hudson River and in all other directions by the Town of Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie calls itself "The Queen City of the Hudson."
Poughkeepsie is probably best known for two things: IBM and television's Ally McBeal. IBM has a large campus in Poughkeepsie (a facility still referred to by many as IBM's "Main Plant") although the main IBM campus is actually in the Town of Poughkeepsie. As for the Ally McBeal connection, the word "Poughkeepsie" is used by one of the two founding partners, John Cage (played by veteran actor Peter MacNicol), of the law firm that Ally works for. John, also known as The Biscuit, started using the city's name to control his stuttering and the link is laid to the city in the first season of the series in the episode Alone Again. Ally explains Cage's use of the word "Poughkeepsie" and his eventual progression to the use of "New York" instead:
Quote:Comic-Con ... (Referenced by Max as the place he met Chelsea/Wendy.)
"He used to have a stutter, but he corrected it, or well I should say he controlled it but with a song, da da ta da da, and then he picked Poughkeepsie to preempt the da da ta da, but Poughkeepsie is actually a town in upstate New York so he seized upon New York instead of Poughkeepsie because it's phonetically less jarring."
Comic-Con International, commonly known as Comic-Con or the San Diego Comic-Con, is an annual four-day (Thursday through Sunday) "multi-genre" fan convention. Founded in 1970 by Shel Dorf and a number of fellow San Diegans, it was originally known as the Golden State Comic Book Convention and later the San Diego Comic Book Convention which, as the title implies, originally showcased only comic books. Comic-Con originated in the basement of the U.S. Grant hotel in 1970, with an estimated attendance of three hundred people, according to the 2005 souvenir book. It later was held at the El Cortez hotel and later moved to San Diego's Convention and Performing Arts Center/Golden Hall before eventually moving to it's current home at the San Diego Convention Center.
Held during the summer in San Diego, California the convention has expanded over the years to include a larger range of pop culture elements, such as science fiction, fantasy, horror, animation/anime, manga, toys, collectible card games, video games, television (Veronica Mars has been showcased there the last two years in a popular panel), and movies. The convention is the largest of its kind in the United States, filling to capacity the San Diego Convention Center with 125,000 attendees in 2006.
Wookiee/Star Wars ... (Referenced by Veronica when she teases Max about Comic-Con.)
A Wookiee (Wookie) is a fictional creature from George Lucas's Star Wars universe. A full-grown Wookiee reaches over six and a half feet in height, is physically strong, possesses remarkable endurance and is covered in very thick hair. Legend h