Thank you for taking the time to read my new story. It's something different, and I hope you enjoy it. Don't worry, it will eventually become LoVe 
Feedback: Losing a Part of You
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 heatherb5 |
Feedback: Losing a Part of You |
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Posts: 319 (12/13/06 16:23:41) |
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In love with LoVe |
Re: Feedback: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 294 (12/13/06 18:40:12) |
Oh, please don't let Duncan die and then the whole town hate her because she didn't save him and she lived! I hate stories where Lily hates her! It makes me sad!! Well, I trust you becuase so far you have a great story!! Keep it up!!
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wickeddiva422 |
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Posts: 349 (12/13/06 18:46:31) LoVe Addicted |
I'm hoping that by eventually you mean sooner than later. I really like the premise of your story and I hope that it lives up to your and my expectations. Please post the next chapter soon.
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LoVe4ever666 |
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Posts: 125 (12/13/06 18:52:03) |
Oh come on. That is just not fair, and I know, I know, Life isn't fair but damnit, why did you have to kill Duincan, as mush as I don't like him. I would rather him not die at least. Great job, can't wait for the next part.
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ShyNatalie |
Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 5 (12/13/06 19:26:21) |
OMG
 I Love It PMS As soon as you can
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iLoVeLoganxx |
Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 196 (12/13/06 19:49:45) Logan|Sex&Snark |
Wow! I'm not one of Donuts biggest fans either.. but you had me near tears, that was beautiful!
Please continue.. I can't wait for more, lol  Erin xx |
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jacedes |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 830 (12/13/06 21:21:15) Logan|Sex&Snark |
Very interesting beginning. I have so many questions, but I'll hold off until I read more. I assume that Veronica will somehow be blamed for Duncan dying, even though 1) she almost died too, 2) she had nothing to do with the accident and 3) she did everything she could to save him. I was surprised that Lilly ran away. Veronica is supposed to be her best friend and she didn't even care about her? Oops, I said I wouldn't ask any questions
 Update soon.I will go down with this 'ship.
I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door, I'm in LoVe and always will be. |
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heatherb5 |
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Posts: 319 (12/13/06 21:25:11) |
Aww tanxs guys
That was great feedback And uh oh expectations, now I really hope I don't ruin it! As for Lilly and Duncan, I love Lilly, and I'm not a big fan of Duncan. But that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I wanted to try something new, and see what would happen if Duncan had died instead of Lilly. So in order for Veronica to be ostracized, Lilly has to sorta turn her back, but it won't last for long. Thank you guys
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mcyprusoilm |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 236 (12/14/06 19:18:48) |
Interesting very, very interesting. I am dying to see where you are going to take this story!!
Why did Lily run away crying. Is donut dead?? and Why did Logan look away?? Is everyone going to balme Veronica and if so what the hell for??? Sorry I know I'm one demanding reader LOL :-) Please, Oh Please keep this fic coming!!!! !!Feed the Fic Whore Monster!! |
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lapdogdesign34 |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 159 (12/14/06 20:08:38) |
Wow. That was really intense and vivid. Poor Donut. Poor Veronica.
Looking forward to more! Update soon! |
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LoVesMeSomeLogan |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 226 (12/15/06 17:45:46) |
First off, I noticed some gramatical errors.
I hope you don't mind if I help. There-can be used in contexts such as "over there." or "There they went."- it is a form of direction or placement. Their can be used in contexts such as, "their car" or "their hands"- it is an expression of possession or ownership. Finally, the [/i]- is a contraction of they are. It is used in contexts such as "they're going out to eat" or "they're going to their house over there" I just noiced one or two little misteaks and the misuse of those words or word, was one of them. I don't mean to be mean or in any way make you feel bad because a lot of people make that misteak. I was only trying to help for future reference. That was very cool! I was actually biting my nails with anticipation and nerves. For a while I thought you were going to let him die....course, I don't know if he is or not....but....I don't know. I guess Lilly and Logan know something....interesting. Keep going, it's really good! |
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heatherb5 |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 319 (12/15/06 18:17:20) |
Lol thanks for the grammer lesson! I always mix things up and never know when to use which one. Now that you remined me what each one means, it'll be easier to remember. I've actually been out of school for a few years now, and can't always remember which is proper english, so thank you
And I'm almost done with the first chapter, so it should be up as soon as it's Beta'd. |
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LoVesMeSomeLogan |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 226 (12/15/06 18:23:34) |
You're entirely welcome.
I hope your beta works fast! hehe |
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heatherb5 |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 319 (12/15/06 19:03:07) |
Quote: Lol I hope so too 
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iLoVeLoganxx |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 196 (12/15/06 21:54:11) Logan|Sex&Snark |
Wow, that chapter was amazing! I was really touched.
I loved how you had Lily and Veronica make up.. and am curious to see how you get LoVe together. I loved how you included Dick in a positive way.. I love fanfics where he is nice! I really loved how you had Veronica seeing Duncan like she used to see Lily.. I also really liked how Logan was supportive to Veronica, I had a huge grin on my face! And as much as I don't like to admit, lol, I actually liked Duncan in your story.. I think it was the way you wrote him.. he was actually torelable! All in all this is an awesome story and I can't wait to read more! Erin xx |
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In love with LoVe |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 294 (12/15/06 22:04:49) |
Wow! This si so great so far! I'm so glad Veronica was only momentarily shunned because losing all of that would have killed her. In the show, she didn't watch Lily die. Here, she did and I think if she had seen Lily die in the show it would have been the last straw that destroyed her. So here, you added her seeing him die but she still had friends which is good.
Also, I think this could be a nice transicion to the touch V we love. She needs to toughen up to survive. I really like that Duncan told her to move on. Despite being a HUGE LoVe fan, I liked Duncan's character-just not with V. Keep up the great work!! |
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lapdogdesign34 |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 159 (12/17/06 11:06:49) |
I am really enjoying your story! The scene with Veronica and Duncan on the log, interspersed with those haunting song lyrics...OMG. Seriously it made me weep (in part because I lost someone close to me, so I related to it) but it was really well written and very evocative (obviously.)
What song were you quoting in that part? (I assume it was a song.) Poor Veronica having to hear about Duncan from a candy striper -- and, btw, it's 'striper' and not 'stripper' - unless you've got them at an entirely different kind of hospital I liked how Lilly and V talked and how Veronica told them about how she tried so hard to save Duncan. But now that everyone is getting along so well, you've got me super curious how Logan and Veronica will get together (or really what causes Logan and Lilly to end, because I think you've set up the closeness between Logan and V well.) More soon, please! |
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In love with LoVe |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 294 (12/17/06 22:32:54) |
Really want more! Please. And to answer lapdogdesign34's question, I believe it was Hurt by Christina Aguilera. I'm pretty sure that's it.
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heatherb5 |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 319 (12/25/06 22:09:03) |
iLoVeLoganxx: Yea I personally love Lilly, and I'm glad I had them make up as well. I just can't stand them being mad at each other! And I'm working on LoVe getting together
Yea I heart Dick, and I like him as his usual sarcastic way, but still a nice guy! As for Veronica seeing Duncan like she used to Lilly, I actually got my inspiration from the show Roswell, when Isabel kept seeing Alex in her head....that would depress me beyond belief cuz I loved Alex. Lol and I can't believe it either, but I actually like Duncan in this story as well. In love with LoVe: Yea I couldn't take everything away from Veronica, so I had her two most important friends stick by her! You will see V toughening up soon! After all, tough Veronica is the reason we fell in love with this show...and I kinda like her with Duncan too in this story, even though it always revolves around LoVe for me  lapdogdesign34: Sorry to hear about your loss  And I'm glad the writing was powerful enough to get to you The song is Hurt by Christina Aguilera, and even though the song doesn't particurally go with this story, those few lyrics did. Lol thanks for catching the stripper! It got by both myself and my Beta, and it was actually funnier when you pointed it out. |
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katie820(d) |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 151 (12/26/06 17:04:49) |
You've got to update soon.
K |
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Shelay10 |
Re: Losing a Part of You | ||
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Posts: 28 (12/27/06 17:18:56) |
This is such an interesting spin on the show. I love the fic. I am very interested in seeing what happens next!
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